Ruckus in Munich: Redux Pt1.

[Andrei Burnside]

This has already been on FF.net. Should have posted this immediately. Without Aideu, I give you Ruckus in Munich!

Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean…Approximate time 2200.

Sgt. Kurtz Weber crouched below the numerous stacked punching bags that had been taken off their chains for the day

He shoved his ever intrusive bangs out of the way of his vision. At times his mane was a great source of pride for the rangy young man, at others it was simply high maintenance. .

Sorta reminds me of Melissa, He thought to himself.

But Melissa was the reason he had awoken 2 hours before midnight, so he could watch this little ritual of hers that was conducted on the Tuatha De Danaan. Ever since he had tried to peep on her at this time, and subsequently discovered her whereabouts after searching for a good 30 minutes for her. He had found her in the training room. What she was doing was of not a sexual nature, but it gave Kurtz time to observe and think about the strong woman.

She was beating the living h*ll out a punching bag with his caricature on it. It was a rather classic look of Kurtz’s: eyes looking downward with his tongue sticking out. Currently she had broken his nose 5 times, and given him around 15 black eyes. The punishment that she was dealing to this bag was incredible. It was worse than what she actually did to him.

He always had wondered why the woman hated his guts so much. Sure he was perverted, a little direct in his advances, and stole her beer. But the number of times that he got injured because of these follies, did not match up to the severity of those offenses.

She was his CO and quite frankly in Kurtz’s mind, the ideal woman. Strong, Beautiful, Caring, Intelligent, and she liked beer. That was a rather shallow description of Melissa Mao, but oftentimes when he was pondering her, she thought he was having sexual fantasies and kicked him in the groin. Half the time it was sexual fantasies, but still!


Her behavior towards him was overly violent. In fact it reminded him of that hot blue haired chick Kaname’s behavior towards Sousuke. Almost everyone could see that Chidori Kaname liked the naïve dolt, and usually inflicted grevious injury upon Sousuke, as a result of his actions to protect her, or his actions with other women, because she was jealous. But that parallel, although enticing and nice to believe, was BS for his situation with Melissa. Melissa Mao? Liking Him? He blew a raspberry at the thought, and it also alerted Melissa to a presence.

“Alright who’s there? If it’s a commanding officer then allow yourself to be seen, other wise…You d*mn perverted maggots better get your asses outta here, before I can see you and thrash you to within an inch of your life!”


Kurtz gulped, his cover was blown, and as long as he didn’t give himself away…He’d survive this incident.

“Weber! That better not be you spying on me you g*ddamn pervert you! I’ll use your head to break beer bottles and your teeth to open my cans of crab!”

Kurtz was rather confused about Mao calling him a pervert…after all she was in usual dress, and was not doing anything that exposed her body. He could understand these threats if she was changing or in the onsen. But PT?

Wait…Didn’t she shower and change after this? He never stayed till the end of her training, so he was unaware. This could be the opportunity he was waiting for…To get his hands on her favorite camo underwear. Oh Yeh! Kurtz had struck it big and had not even realized it.

He reconsidered that line of thought, likely Sousuke had taught her some of the finer points of booby-trapping clothing and other items. Kurtz had asked Sousuke to teach him arming and disarming, and his response was typical of the young man: “I do not feel comfortable teaching you these methods, Sgt for I believe that you will use these tactics outside their intended element for your own personal gain, and to satisfy your personal desires.”

Translation in Kurtz’s mind: No way, you’ll use them to get underwear, and peep on Mao or Tessa. Sousuke was right, but there was no harm in asking. Except with Melissa.

Satisfied that no one was there or had fainted, Mao went on with her punching of the dummy Kurtz.

Watching her hit the dummy Kurtz, gave him a feeling he couldn’t describe…since it had been awhile since he had felt it. Hurt…yes that was it. Her using his image as a focus for her anger, hurt his feelings. His relationship with NCO was: questionable… At times he got along with her, on other occasions, his neurons screamed out in agony. In addition his methods usually conflicted with her methods. He had seen the tender side of Mao once or twice, and never was it directed at him, sure that was one time she was drunk, but she was just talking about Tessa. She did open up to him on that occasion, and seemed to not mind telling him this, but she was drunk.






After that mission where Gaul trashed his AS, and he was left with Sousuke and Chidori, he had felt betrayed. Mao had not gone back to get either of her comrades, and seemed to be the only one qualified to do the maneuvers that saved them all. It was nothing personal of course, Mao only cared about her neck and her rank, which is why she had to save all of them, Kurtz included. It seemed he was merely a tool to further her career rather than a comrade or fellow soldier.

When he was debriefed privately by Lt. Cmdr Kalinin, his NCO was not present. Wouldn’t she like to know about that new AS? Or at least get a full report on the issue? It seemed she didn’t, because it was back to business, talking to Tessa about the events that transpired during the rescue . Kurtz crashed the bar and saved her a seat, and had a beer ready so they could talk after mission like they usually did. She never came, So he had hers and talked to the Barkeeper about dames.

Sousuke and Kutrz seemed to be left out of the loop often. Sousuke just did a better job of coping with it, it seemed. That kid had been through so much in his 16 years…

He had a brotherly relationship with the young man, and they each helped in their behaviors and idiosyncrasies. He was elated to hear that Tessa liked Sousuke, but he could see very clearly that Sousuke had a very professional relationship in mind only. She was the Captain for chrissake. Maybe she was horny or something, he pondered. If so Kurtz could show her a thing or two! Oh yeh!

But Kaname Chidori…she was violent, of course he again was succumbing to his instincts, after she ripped her shirt. She was a good match for Sousuke, if she could get Sousuke to disobey orders, and put others at risk to save her, he cared for her indeed. Kurtz had nothing but respect for the young woman, and she must be precious indeed for Sousuke to act the way he did around her. He ought to bring that up to both Kaname and Melissa, Kaname would benefit or at least learn a little more about Sousuke, and Melissa would think Kurtz less shallow.

Of course when her AS was crushed by the behemoth, he was worried. He was pretty sure she was dead after being trapped in the cockpit and falling into the waters of Tokyo bay. So he let the pain surface momentarily, and then shoved it aside, reverting to his typical behavior.

He was glad to see she was alive, she pretty much ignored the great Kurtz Weber, and instead focused on Tessa. She then talked to Kaname and Sousuke about the ordeal offering comfort; but when she talked to him he was admonished for not taking better measures to protect Tessa and Kaname. Kurtz was beside himself during that incident; she had the nerve to tell him (who was sitting in the bed of truck that was going 120 mph and swerving in and out of lanes while he was sniping at the behemoth with his rifle) that he screwed up. That was extremely dangerous in the first place, such a ploy was grounds for a reprimand, but she skimmed over that. The fact that he had stolen a truck for their rescue never was reported either. He hadn’t considered why…


Kurtz wondered why around Mao he always was reduced to a school boy crush state. He did the most ridiculous things to get her attention, and it often backfired on him. It seemed he couldn’t act like the Ladykiller he was around other women. He liked her, that much was obvious, and he knew why. But why did she so violently reject his advances? Was she like that with other men? Did she really want to kill him? Why did she recruit him into Mithril anyway…because of his sniping talent.


He remembered the time he had tried to kiss her, and she had given him a broken nose. The broken nose was more for groping her, which was entirely inappropriate. That incident was entirely his that his fault, and rather dumb, he had not made a good first impression.. They had been through all kinds of hell together, and usually she had no more for him than a few nasty jibes and a insult/compliment.

Ah well…the German thought to himself. He could at least enjoy how the things she was doing to the punching bag highlighted her body. His nose began to bleed, as if a faucet was turned on there. She was in excellent physical shape, and she was gorgeous. But he remembered the time at the hot springs, where she had mentioned she learned Japanese through sex. This also hurt him a little, because it seemed he was in love with a fantasy Mao, and the crude, rude, outer shell of Mao realized this, and dealt out punishment.

As his thoughts continued to wander and he started to realize he was characterizing Mao a little selfishly, and that she was a good person, just he could never get on her good side.
He was content, but longed for a relationship. Unlike him in all respects, but he wanted one.

He had to bring this parade of emotions to an end, as he shook his head vigorously, hair flying everywhere, as he tried to clear his thoughts.

What did he want from Melissa? Sex or Love? Why did he continue to pursue her? What her feelings? Did she have any feelings for him besides a NCO to her men?

He got deep into thought, until the answer hit him…Literally. A wayward beer bottle came flying across his field of vision, and smashed into his face. Beer? Melissa liked beer.
He decided to iron out his feelings, by asking Melissa on some sort of trip. This way he could it claim it wasn’t a date, and she would not trash him for lying, and he could figure out his confused feelings.

Oktoberfest was coming up soon…Around a month. Maybe he could convince Melissa to go with him, if she decided to humor him. She’d certainly enjoy the booze if not his company. If she rejected him this final time, he’d quit his arduous pursuit of the Sgt Major.

Kurtz began to think of ways he could ask her without giving away his all too obvious intentions.

“I’d better do this like Sousuke would…” He said rather quietly to himself.

Objectives, Obstacles, Time Frame, Allies, Terrain, Mindset, Risks. That was Sousuke style approach to a date.

Primary Objective: Get Melissa accompany him to Oktoberfest.
Secondary Objective: Investigate intimate relationship possibilities between them
Tertiary Objective: Get Melissa into bed with the great Kurtz Weber Oh Yeh!

Obstacles: Tessa, Missions, Leave time, Melissa, Mithril Regulations, Himself, Melissa’s philanthropy.

Time Frame: 29 days till it started

Allies: Sousuke (to a degree), and perhaps Kaname.

Terrain: Not a problem for Kurtz. He checked that off.

Mindset: He would go in expecting to achieve only his primary, and possibly his secondary his tertiary was extremely wishful thinking.

Risks: Bodily Injury, heart-break, Imprisonment, Demotion. There were plenty of those…

Upon making this mental checklist Kurtz realized he’d have to get out without Melissa noticing him.

“Damnit…What the heck am I supposed to do now?” he murmured to himself.

His subconscious realized three things. First Melissa had stopped punching the bag, and was therefore showering. He had the perfect opportunity to ask her, and he would not look suspicious, and he had a bottle of opened beer in his hands.

He got up and made of show of doing some wall stretches, and waited for Mao to come out of the Locker room…Which her clothes were on outside of .

He had to act fast…Where was her duffel bag? There! He stuffed all of her clothes into the bag, hating himself for wasting this opportunity. He wrenched the door to the Women’s locker room open, and slid the bag to the shower area, and slammed the door shut.



He waited nervously…Melissa could get pissed for that gesture. He heard a few curses from the Women’s Locker room, and an explanation of surprise. Apparently Melissa found her clothes.

She certainly took her time getting ready though, he thought as he waited.

The door opened, and Melissa exited. Hair still wet from her shower, she spitted Kurtz with a glare asking nothing.

Ignoring this Kurtz mentioned in rather casual manner, “Hey sis, want a beer? I think this one is your favorite, so I managed to get one before the bar ran out of stock for the week.”

Kurtz noticed the look of gratitude that flashed over Melissa’s face, as he mentioned his act of kindness.

“Weber”

“Yesma’am!” It came out quickly.

“You have offered an NCO her favorite beer, and thus have followed proper USMC etiquette for a personal request off the record.”

Kurtz relaxed visibly, he had lucked out!

His hands at the back of his head he haltingly began…

“Well y’see I wanted to know, if you could, I mean would, if you wanted too of course--”

“Get a grip Weber, you aren’t asking me on a date”

He chuckled nervously at that remark and composed himself.

“Basically Oktoberfest is in 29 days, and I was wondering if you go with me. I know Munich well enough, and there will be beer, and I’ll get separate rooms of course” He sounded like a little kid who was desperately asking for something and was unsure if he would get it.

Melissa pondered this for a moment…What were his motives, and why the formality and nervousness? He was basically asking her to use her leave to go on an extended date with him. But this wasn’t Kurtz’s style at all to get sex…maybe he wanted more…Hmm…

“Soldier! Tenshun!”

Kurtz snapped to attention “Yes’m!”
“You are making a very serious request of me. Asking me to use my leave time, to go with you of all people, on what might be construed as a date.”

“I assure you Sgt. Major, I will behave approp--”

“SHUTUP! As I was saying, this is a very serious request. I must think for a minute.” She pondered for about 30 seconds before she came to a split decision.

Kurtz was still rigid, being at attention and from nervousness, when she began to speak

“Mr. Weber, I accept this offer of a trip” She licked her lips at thought of that much beer, and maybe some other side benefits.

“And another thing Kurtzie?”

“Yes’m?”

“Make unapproved advances and I wear your balls as earrings”

“Yes’m!”

She strode out of the gym with a pleased look on her face, as Kurtz looked like he had just seen hell freeze over.

Kurtz scratched his head, as he was pondering the last words of Melissa. Unapproved Advances? She didn’t say advances period. He began to hope for his chances.



XXXXXXXXXX


Melissa had gotten herself into quite a pickle with Kurtz. She paced up and down in the confines of her quarters. There was a growing pile of empties, and many cigarettes that had been snuffed out in her thinking.

Why had she agreed to accompany him on this booze fest anyway? She was tempted to tell him he was just hallucinating when she agreed to his request.

Sure there were benefits to this excursion: Booze, Partying, A chance to do some good, and Kurtz. However along with those benefits came hangovers, stupid men, and Kurtz.

Kurtz was the Real McCoy. Only he could be a mixture of kindness and lecherousness, of stupidity and intelligence, of intensity and joviality. Sousuke had told her about the episode in the locker room of TDD-1.

The young man stated it succinctly: “For all of Sgt. Weber’s crude sexual remarks and overtures of his sexual activity with various female COs, he was very concerned with what I said to Kaname. I had no idea he was such an ardent promoter of the rights of females. He kicks rather hard for being unskilled at close combat. I cannot understand why he does not act in such an upstanding manner around you Sgt. Major, for a great deal of his speech to me is praising your many…virtues. His admiration for your body proportions is just the beginning. He also has great respect for you as a person.”

After that mouthful by Sousuke, Melissa was rather confused as whether to congratulate Kurtz or kick his ass.

This was standard procedure when it came to Kurtz, he was quite the enigma. Melissa was unsure whether he was as shallow as he acted or actually was a decent human being under that pizzazz. Kutrz certainly had his faults, but the man was kind to fault, not a cruel bone in his body.

She remembered after his recruitment into Mithril there was complete profile done on him. She had actually never looked at the results as she was sure that horny sniper would be there only temporarily. Instead he took Urzu 6 as his handle, and replaced the man he been meant to serve as stopgap for.

“Where the hell is that profile?” she muttered to herself, as she threw the old files into the cage of empties. After about 50 thick folders in the personnel section of her filing cabinet she found it.

“Aha gotcha! Found the bastard’s profile.” Mao reconsidered her choice of words; this was no way to be talking about her “date”.





Weber, Kurtz
Age: 23
Place of Birth: Edogawa, Japan
Last Place of Residence: Weisbaden, Germany , Childhood, Connections etc…
This was interesting about Weber, but she could read this later or never, or she could wrangle it out of him herself. Psychologically
She wanted a professional look at Kurtz Weber.

Behavior and Tendencies: Upon observation the subject usually used levity and humor in situations that did not warrant it. Most likely resulted from being in restrictive environment while young, and is exercised merely as normal social behavior. Subject conceals emotional turmoil by indulging in perversion. “Pain helps me forget…” subject stated on several occasions when asked to give reasons for his actions, this seemed to be an unconscious response. Overly social to those who show some kind of perceived weakness or lack of emotion. This rather confusing redundant sappy nonsense went on for awhile until Melissa was at her wit’s end, and reached the general summary.

Conclusion: Subject hides emotional scars and turmoil through behavior, and is likely to snap if not placed appropriately. This could cause a drastic decrease in skill level, as well as any social benefits that were made to his squad. Ideal Comrades are polar opposites that encourage interaction and might place him on the path to complete mental health.

Ideal Matches

94% Sgt. Major Melissa Mao.
89% Sgt. Sousuke Sagara.
80% Pvt 1st Class. Vali Nedelko.

If this wasn’t for Mithril NCOs on up, she’d be sure that Kurtz fixed at least one of these results. She’d have to check her profile to make sure he didn’t. Plus she never bothered to check hers, figuring it to be expensive insulting garbage about herself, she leafed through her personnel files until she found hers.

Sgt Major. Melissa Mao.
Age: 25
Birthplace: New York, New York.

Behaviors and Tendencies: The Sgt. Major possesses a guilt complex which she unconsciously acts upon. The subject tends to partake in alcoholic consumption and smoking to alleviate this guilt. Subject has an acute case of PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder). Because of the rough environment she was brought up in, tends to knock around comrades so that they may better themselves. The combative environment she was raised has contributed to her being especially protective of friends and comrades.
She skimmed to end of the report, and found the conclusion.



Conclusion: Sgt Major. Melissa Mao has traits that are very desirable for NCOs, because she cares deeply for her men; the Sgt. Major is likely to be more cautious and avoid taking unnecessary risks. However, she is hardnosed enough to instill discipline within them all.

Ideal Squadmates
94% Sgt. Kurtz Weber
82% Corp. Janos Renzo
79% Sgt. Sousuke Sagara

“I swear right now on this can of Heineken: If I see those highbrows, I will test the durability of 7 types of beer bottles on their heads!” Her hands clenched and unclenched as she took deep breaths.

“Guilt Complex? GUILT COMPLEX? When have I ever shown a Guilt Complex towards my squadmates? If Kurtz was being perverted, I’d use him for a mop! For chrissake who do they think they’re talking about here? Some ***** who gets all weepy when people die in combat? I’m the reason the USMC doesn’t recruit women for active combat, because I outdid those leathernecks! I am the original badass!”

Kurtz popped his head into her quarters at the exact wrong time. Taking what she had said out of context and for once not being perverted.

“Don’t beat yourself up sis! You’ve got a great body, and a sharp mind to match! Who’s the blind idiot who told you had a bad ass? I’ll rob him blind! Your a-...ehh…uhh…you look great!” His face was scarlet red and he was cringing as if waiting for the blow.

Melissa looked at him oddly, as if trying to figure out what exactly he meant by that. Her first impulse was perversion, but Kurtz couldn’t even squeak out that she had a nice ass. This could prove useful indeed, and she could use this particular circumstance to squeeze Kurtz for some info.

“Kurtz? Come here.” Melissa had a predatory smile plastered on her face.

“Certainly sis, watcha want?” Kurtz had mistaken her smile for one associated with seduction. Studying every nuance of her expression, Kurtz approached slowly, and with his back to the door, making it easier to pivot and sprint out of her quarters.

“Kurtz…You know what you just said right?”

An observer might compare this to when Hitler’s panzers rolled across France. This was the very essence of Blitzkrieg; Melissa had confused Kurtz to her true plan of attack, and was preparing for spearhead.

“That was a sexual comment Kurtz, was it not?”

She had broken through the main lines, and now she had to prevent him from setting up defenses.

“You did threaten battery and robbery to the who man said that, didn’t you? By the way, it was Lt. Commander Kalinin who made that remark.”

He was effectively immobilized but still had the ability to strike, Melissa wanted to change that immediately. She began to trace lines across his face with her finger, and then cupped his chin, her face inches from his. He began to sputter, and turned a deeper shade of red.

She had his flanks open and undefended, and was carrying on attacks on all fronts.
“That could get you in trouble Kurtzie, and you’re so sexy when you’re shy. You answer the questions I ask honestly, and I’ll not press charges for sexual harassment, nor dereliction of duty, because you’re supposed to be instructing at the shooting range.”

She had him immobilized, surrounded, and unable to offer any resistance. Any German field marshal would be envious.

“Sit down Kurtz. First, I want you to tell me what you’re planning when I go to Oktoberfest with you, and I want to know about the Sergeant who has consistently been the best marksman I’ve had the pleasure of commanding” Melissa put a little emphasis on pleasure just finish Kurtz off.

Kurtz reluctantly sat down, after his successful pitch to Melissa he had not given the events a great deal of thought, he had been too giddy to put some thought into it.

“Err…We could go beer tasting, check out the scenery, check out some clubs…” It was clear from his halting tone of voice and his choice of “activities” that he hadn’t thought about it.

“What kind of clubs Kurtz? I don’t want to go to any Retro club got it?” Melissa put enough venom in her voice to makes things clear.

“There’s always Natraj Temple, a hardcore Trance club…Or the Prager Frühling which is a great mix of everything, or the Biergardens at the Park-Café, or hell just the Hirschgarten…” he began to shoot off names of clubs and breweries more confident now.
“With our combined looks sis we could get into any club we wanted to! Or we could ‘persuade’ them to let us in.” Kurtz winked at her, and then kicked up his feet onto the chair.
“What makes you think I’d go clubbing with you Weber? You’re not even as muscular as Sousuke, just taller? I could find hunks that look 3 times as better than you do around.” Kurtz visibly deflated, and Melissa noticed this.
“However, in terms of brains, and combat ability for your looks, you came out ahead of the pack Weber. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, and a cool hand on the trigger.” Melissa consoled the rather pitiful looking Sergeant. Now only if he’d work out Melissa thought to herself, then Kurtz would be truly a catch.
“Anything else Melissa? Or do you want to grill me about my uninteresting childhood spent mostly in Kobe? Or can I buy you a drink or something?” Kurtz remarked hoping she’d not press the question. The last he needed was tender comfort from Melissa Mao, he was pretty sure she wasn’t capable of such behavior around him.
“Hmmm…Y’know what Weber? I’ll have that drink, you’ll tell me about your childhood, and we’ll see who’s the better shot?” Melissa had that predatory smile on again.
“What are we going to use Melissa? You’re a better Pistol shot than I am and you’d win so those are out…” Kurtz remarked, with the obvious purpose to avoid going head to head with Pistols.
“Tell you what Kurtz, we’ll use pistols” She held her hand up to forestall a groan, “But I’m going to be using a real pistol, so you might beat me in terms of accuracy.”
She walked over to her weapons locker and began to spin the combination locks that held the outer doors in place. Kurtz gulped, what did she need two layers for? He once had asked that question and she had replied with air of menace: “I hope you never have to find out Weber, I’d hate to lost my best sniper.”
After several minutes of rummaging around she pulled out a humungous weapons case, and indicated for him to open it. Inside the case was a Olympic Arms OA98. Kurtz gulped for he had used that monster a few times. This behemoth was based of the M16, and fired the standard NATO 5.56 rounds, and could load M16 30 round magazines. The gun possessed a special spring recoil and buffer, to cope with the kickback. It did have a much shorter barrel, so power was slightly diminished. Mao had certainly picked a good gun to go shooting with, Perhaps she was trying to send him a message…
Kurtz drew his own sidearm from its shoulder hostler, and put it on the table. Mao snorted, trust Kurtz to have the most accuracy he could in anything. It was a SIG P210, and she was well aware of its reputation of being the most accurate 9mm out of the box. Only question was, how did Kurtz afford such a weapon? 2100 was a steep price for a Pistol, especially for Kurtz who sent of his money home for an undisclosed reason. She’d find out why, after this match.
“Weber! Let’s stop gawking and start walking.” Mao put enough venom into her voice to rouse the man, and they left her quarters.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The sound of boots could be heard echoing in the corridors of TDD-1. The metallic clang of boots doing double time on a hard metal surface, and the intermittent clangs of one who stomps their feet in frustration, were prone to constant interruption. This was usually a cessation of the clanging and a resounding thud, and then it began again.

“What’s the goddamn matter with you Weber, can’t you go for longer than 2 minutes without doing something sexual?”

For the last 3 minutes her right eye muscle had been twitching, a sign that she was going slap something or someone. As ole satchmo’ so eloquently put it, It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing. Unfortunately for Melissa’s targets, she swung hard.

“But sis, the head doors were open! What was I supposed to do? You kicked me in there!” Kurtz protested after he had knocked down Tessa, who had just emerged from the shower. He had only asked to see her towel, what was wrong with that? It had been good a cashmere and wool blend. He wanted one of those for his excursions with his rubber Ente, and Tessa let him have her towel after a little embarrassment.

“You fudgie asked to see the captain’s towel! While she was wearing it! You goddamn perverted empty headed sniper!” Melissa was a little overprotective of Tessa, and this incident had her steamed.

Kurtz brushed himself off and attempted to look dignified. He spit her with a glare that was rather, for lack of a better word, cold. Anything kind in his expression was gone as his face contorted from surprise to indigence to resentment, and finally pure nastiness. With a hideous snarl on, he gave her the bird at attention and stated:

“Fragen Sie den Kapitän was dann Sie domineering Weibchen geschah!” Kurtz rarely used German around anybody, usually when he had a foul point to make. He stomped off presumably to the bar

“Oooh, Weber I’ll have your ass for that later!”

“You can’t resist me Melissa, admit it once and for all, I’m just too handsome. Eh?” He put lusty smirk on his face, and wiggled his eyebrows as his demeanor changed from enraged to jolly in an instant. However he did not stop walking, and continued down towards A section.

Melissa walked into the head and kicked the nearest bench that was available. Flying into the adjacent locker, with a resounding *clang*, she sat down and brushed her black locks out of her field of vision.
Tessa approached, now wearing the standard light duty uniform.

“You should learn to control your temper better, Sgt. Major. It’s unbecoming of a Sgt. Major to throw tantrums.”

Mao pursed her lips at this comment, and brushed it aside, thinking it was of no consequence.

“Did he ask you to take off your towel Captain?” She cut straight to the chase, and looked at her dapple haired captain.

“Sgt. Major. I can assure that I would have dealt with it, if he had in the first place. Sgt. Weber merely noticed the composition of the towel, and asked if he could requisition once for his ‘Ente Excursions’ whatever those are. You judge the man too harshly I think. You commit even more grievous breaches of protocol yourself. Let up on the poor man, otherwise, I’ll have to reassign him to another unit. Perhaps the Indian taskforce…”
Now, Melissa realized why the ones not in the Captain’s favor, referred to her as the Arctic Bitch. She could be as cold as the north-wind itself.

“Understood, Ma’am, Permission to be dismissed?” Melissa had a rather stoic look on her face.

“Granted, just don’t be so hotheaded around Sgt. Weber; people might get to thinking you like him.” Tessa remarked with a rather knowing smile.

“WHAT? He’s a good man and soldier, but Kurtz and I? Did you go drinking without me or somethin’ Captain?” Melissa’s face took on the semblance of one who has recently eaten something rotten.

“I’m outta here, Tessa, we can have this discussion later. I’ve gotta go catch the damn fool.” Melissa turned on her heel and shouldered the door open, knocking over a rather surprised Sgt. Weber with a glass to his ear.

“Ssss-ere-ggg-eee--ant---ma-ma-ma-jor. I was merely testing whether or not the locker rooms were soundproofed as requested by the Captain.
Permissiontobedismissedthankyouma’amI’llseeyouinthebar!”

After that mouthful Kurtz fled, and would later be described as a human aircraft shooting off a steam catapult. He broke a few Mithril service records in his 40 yard dash to the nearest corner, 3.71 seconds, better than most NFL receivers.

“Kurtz you’d better be running towards the bar! You owe me at least 3 tankards on the house for that stunt!”
Melissa shouted as she ran after the eavesdropping Sergeant.

The entire chase proceeded as a Tom and Jerry cartoon would, except this would be one of the few that ended in the chaser’s favor, rather than the chasee’s favor.

Kurtz had managed to elude Melissa for around 5 minutes, which was record in his books. He usually lasted 10 to 30 seconds.

Why have I lasted so long, he thought to himself and then began to think of Melissa running. Such contortions without sports bras, he would curse their invention for all his days. His nose, ever the obligatory faucet, began to run at a rate that only believable in anime or manga, but it defied the principles of circulation, creating an obvious red trail.

“AHA! Cut you off right at 78 junction! You’re so predictable Kurtzie, If you had just gone towards your room, instead of trying to take that shortcut through the galley…” Melissa had a positively freakish smile on her face, one that suggested pain and suffering.

“Uh…Look! Sousuke is making out with a chick!” Her head snapped around to see something that was in the category of pigs flying and hell getting a tourist resort.

“Later Sis! I got you thi-“ Kurtz slipped on the blood that had leaked out of his nose in the interim. He did not rise, or move in the slightest.

“Shit, He probably got himself a minor concussion by slipping on his own blood.” Melissa remarked in a softer tone.

She grabbed him by the shoulders and neck and slung him into a fireman’s carry, his head hanging near her waist. He was quite heavy, for he appeared to be 30 pounds lighter than he actually was. Grumbling, she consigned herself to carrying him all the way to the bar. Unbeknownst to her, Kurtz had awakened around halfway there, as a result of her constant jarring. He decided to improve on his already damaged reputation.

“Uh…Melissa? Could you put me down or something? I’m awake now, so no need to carry the resilient Kurtz Weber” there was a tone of nervousness in his voice, that clearly stated he was trying to make amends.

“The last thing I need is to put you down, and you to slip again because you don’t have your balance after that concussion, and make it worse. We have a month until leave, and may be pulled out onto active duty, so I don’t you getting hurt, and Sousuke’s performance has been suffering lately, if he’s pulled out his current mission with Kaname, It’s obvious he likes her too much. I hope the brass doesn’t get wind of his rather…personal involvement with his assignment. It’s not that level quite yet, but they both need each other, a lot more than either is close to realizing.”

“Same could be said for both of us…” Kurtz mumbled under his breath.

“What’s that Weber?” Melissa’s face took on a concerned look.

“Nothing, How many beers do I owe you?” Kurtz hastily replied, trying to change the subject.

“5, if I recall, and a shooting match, and a nice long talk about your childhood so I can blackmail you later” Seeing the look on his face, she eased his fears by playfully tousling his hair, and remarking “If I wanted to blackmail you, I wouldn’t need your childhood to do it.” His face brightened noticeably, obviously his childhood was not a happy time for him. His eyes had glazed over in a content way, when she had tousled his hair, as if that had distracted him from what was bothering him. Weird…She began to think about his reactions to her as of late, as they walked to the bar. They were distinctly…different, even for Kurtz. Perhaps he actually wanted something other than companionship on that “date”, but it couldn’t be? Kurtz was way too much of a flirt and horn-dog, to feel that way towards her, plus he had a girlfriend? Didn’t he?

“C’mon sis, let’s go shooting already, the suspense is killing me.”

“Silence is golden Weber, and I don’t feel like getting silver right now” Interesting but effective way to tell him to shut-up.

They finally arrived at the shooting gallery and were directed towards aisles 5 and 6. Kurtz ever the poet, took 6, and Melissa laid her OA-98 onto the setup tray of 5.

“Kurtz! Come over to 5 for me will you?” He reluctantly ambled over, and looked quizzically at her.

“What’s the deal Sis?” He asked without a trace of suspicion.

“Take my gun and give me yours.”

“Why?”

“Because Kurtz, we’re going to use the guns we selected, only I get your SIG P-210 and you my OA-98. For old times sake Kurtz, surprise me with those steady hands and unerring aim. I know you can shoot the wings off a fly, and don’t bullshit about how you suck at shooting a pistol.”

The intercom blared: “Shooters to your aisles, You have 15 seconds till the beginning of the match”

Melissa leaned slightly forward, and gave the surprised German a kiss on the cheek. His cheek glowed a very brilliant shade of napalm red, and then he got to his aisle.

As he got accustomed to his new weapon, he rubbed his cheek, pondering what had just happened. What the hell was that for?

End Pt. 1

There ya go. Expect 4&5 to be posted when I finish 6 sometime in the next few days. Stanley Cup Fever has consumed me as of late. After all, my home team won. Go Bolts! The "Bulin" Wall is unbeatable! Well at least for this year Tampa Bay, gets the Cup. Yeah. Please read and stuff.

[Avlor]

Would it be cheating to repost my review from FFN?

Just kidding!



You know I love this story Andrei! You've got to continue giving us updates...pu--lease!

[HELLFIRE]

Oh, so it's not a oneshot deal. NICE! Run into all of one KurzxMelissa
fics, and this has been quite a read. You kind of swing between two
extremes on Mao's personality... Kurz is pretty consistent. So where
is this headed anyways?

Looking forward to more, Andrei!
PS. Tampa got the cup, but the Flames got the RESPECT!!'scuse me now while I go take a bitter pill









Regards

[Andrei Burnside]

Can anyone say Fun with Genetic and Cybernetic Engineering!
During Oktoberfest! What a great place to test Modified Soldiers! Isn't It? Watch out for the 9 footers. They're kinda hard to knock down...

[Taurec]

nice fic .. ...... type faster ..... Sciliy