[FIC] Turnabout's Fair Play... {Chapter 22}

[dd]

It had been a VERY long day, but for all that Kaname complained outloud, she really had to say that things HAD been interesting, and certainly H*A*D been rather exciting. Of course, there was a curse about interesting times, and excitement was not necessarily the best elixir for convalescence.

Still, she had laughed a lot, and laughter IS a good medicine. It certainly was GOOD to see Sousuke again.

She chuckled, thinking that Tokyo General Hospital just M*I*G*H*T...perhaps...m-a-y-b-e...not want to see Sgt. Sousuke Sagara again. Her laughter died as quickly as it came.

"DAMN you, Sousuke!" Kaname said, remembering the repair estimate that had been left for her by one of the assistant hospital administrators. She thought numbers that large were generally exclusive to GNPs of small nations or biannual dues for ultra-exclusive yacht clubs.

Well...SHE certainly was not going to pay that bill. If it took extraction of teeth without anesthetic, or even removal of something more significant, she would be certain to get Sousuke to foot the bill, seeing that Mithril paid its operatives very very well. She blushed for a moment when her thoughts wandered and she unconsciously began a rank order assessment of significant anatomy.

"Hell," she said to herself to stop that train of thought, "I don't even know if Sousuke HAS one of those!!!"

Back to the subject of payment! Or is that 'pay back?' Heh heh heh.
"Oh...I think you just may be off the hook Sergeant Stupid Large Balloon Sagara...Mithril should pay this bill...no, Captain Testarossa MUST PAY!!!"

It was late, and Kaname was feeling very relaxed after a long warm shower and a short glass of chilled coffee drink. She probably should just call it a night and hit the sheets. But, Kaname did not want anything to do with 'probably' at the moment. How could she have almost forgotten her favorite new anticipation?!!!

She walked over to the fax machine that Sousuke had once insisted she set up, and was glad it was here. Aside from having a capability she now wanted to make use of, it had symbolic value...because of the misunderstandings caused by a fax message...and because it had been Captain I'm Sure Gonna Regret It Testarossa that had sent that fax. She switched the machine into copy mode and swiftly made duplicate copies of the papers Sousuke had left her holding moments before 'balloon' had become one of her new curse words. She would give Sousuke the copies...she didn't want him to get in trouble over not doing his 'homework.'

This was going to be fun!!! But, it might take a while. She went into the kitchen, returning with a pile of flavored wafers and a large glass of milk. Milk was good for growing bones! Maybe that Captain should have drunk more milk as a kid!!!

Well, how should she go about this. She couldn't write things...her handwriting might be recognized...and at the very least, it looked NOTHING like Sousuke's. She'd have to type it in somehow. Oh, yeh! She still had her father's old word processor in the closet. She hoped it would still work.

It did.

*************************************************************

She would start with the one set of questions, the ones related to herself, the bright and devious Kaname Chidori:

1) RE: MISS KANAME CHIDORI, STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES AS YOU SEE THEM

There are too many good things to list. But I will give it my best. Its is not a problem. Weaknesses first, as there are few.

Miss Chidori is somewhat violent towards myself, but I cannot hold that against her as I deserve such treatment. I do not understand all of her reasoning, but I trust in her judgement because she is the brightest student in class and worthy of full admiration. She also does not possess sufficient weapons skill or hand-to-hand skills, although she is very good at physical contact. I have no problem with all of our physical contact. School is about learning, and Miss Chidori is teaching me things I had never known before. I still have not been able to locate the Karma Sutra on the school required reading list, but I trust her word.

Her strengths are great. I should use good military doctrine and make use of obvious comparisons. First, she is very clever, but does not appear as freakish as most Whispered. Her athletic ability is extraordinary, and I have no doubt that she could qualify for Mithril's forces. However, that is not necessary, as Mithril will obviously accept women of small stature, even those lacking all physical ability and all attributes of beauty. Her hair color is very pleasing, and does not make her stand out unduly in a crowd. That makes her easy to go out on the town with on missions and on dates. Were she to have silver hair, she might be considered diseased or infirmed, if not prematurely aged. She might also look odd in a crowd.

Miss Chidori is also an excellent cook, and an accomplished masseuse.

2) MISS KANAME CHIDORI, PERSONAL FEELINGS FOR SGT. SOUSUKE SAGARA:

This answer shall be simple, as she makes her feelings very clear, both during and after school. During scholastic activities, she is disappointed in my abilities at time, but has great respect for my perserverence and strength of character. She is not pleased by explosions and other disruptions to the school architecture and structural stability, but I think that is because she is a noncombatant. It is not a problem. She is quite pleased with my duties as garbage detail, and says I may have found my calling.

After school, her feelings are also quite evident. There are times she screams out "Soooouuusuke, YOU.........ARE..........THE..........BESSSSST!!!" oftened followed by screams commanding me not to cease in my activities. She also says that variety is the spice of life, and I am like Baskin Robbins ice cream: she will not stop until she samples all 53 varieties. She does, however, offer what I think is unfair criticism of Mithril's professional conditioning programs. She says that my stamina is deficient.

She also commends me on my excellent taste in woman, saying it takes a discerning man to choose a beautiful full-figured girl over some shriveled stick of a girl with the breasts of a boy. She commends me for being so talented at finding a good companion at such an early age. She does, however confuse me greatly at time: her moods can vary, and I cannot keep track of them. I also do not understand why she sometimes calls herself Kaname Sagara, expectant mother. There has been no marriage that I have been aware of.

3) SGT. SOUSUKE SAGARA, RE: SUCCESS AND FAILURES IN HIGH SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT, REFERENCE TO STUDENT AND TEENAGE EXPECTATIONS:

I must apologize. Not everything comes as natural to me as destruction and disruption of necessary targets. I find myself at complete odds with teenage life, and it is only through the patience and closeness of Miss Chidori that I am able to survive. Without her, I would be lost...or worse. Her instruction is not simply physical. Her assistance with common but confusing every day life has drawn me to her more than her well honed charm and her rather formidable hungers. As inferred above, my success as a student is wanting. To use comparisons again, my performance in school could be equated to the initial Arm Slave skills of an incompetent beginner pilot acting only out of pride or competitiveness and not out of professional correctness and common sense.

4) SGT. SOUSUKE SAGARA, FEELINGS TOWARDS MISS KANAME CHIDORI, RE: COMPATIBILITY, FRIENDHIP, LOVE, AND SEXUAL RELATIONS:

This answer is also simple. Physical compatibility is a definite, as all parts are complete and fit very well together, showing no sign of wear after considerable use. Self-lubricating parts are definitely preferable to those requiring physical lubrication. Perhaps such insight can be passed onto Whispered designers who all seem to be deficient in the understanding of lubrication. Emotional compatibility is occasionally questionable. Miss Chidori often say she would die without me, but I see not physical evidence to suggest that is true. Otherwise she does not lie to me. This is not a problem. As for friendship, she does not treat me in the same manner as she treats her friends at school. I do not feel remorse any longer, as she had said that she would work on that area after she has sufficiently broken me to the saddle. Out of respect to her, I do not question her word in this...however, she has as yet not taken me horse-back riding. I do not understand the meaning of the word love. However, I must say that I could not see myself wanting to be with any other woman as Miss Chidori, as all others would suffer in comparison. Sexual relations are a disappointment. With all of the time spent involved in such activities, Miss Chidori says I have not shown sufficient improvement. She does take things very well, remaining cheerful when she keeps increasing the time needed for practice.

Faithfully submitted,
SGT. SOUSUKE SAGARA

*************************************************************

Uh, huh perfect. Just perfect. Wish I could be a fly on the wall when you read THAT, Tessa-baby!!!

Ok, a couple more cookies and the last of the milk. Tired? No way!!! I could do this all night.

NEXT!!!

Tessa/Captain Testarossa
1) RE: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES AS YOU SEE THEM:

Weakness is a very apt term. I will not go into a list of her infimities or physical misshapeness, as too much attached paper would be required. I have also been given a short time in which to do this assignment. That IS a problem. Suffice it to say, had a dog breeder found a young animal like her, it would have been put down to prevent impurites in the breed. That is unfortunate, as she has the personality one can attribute to a good pet.
Other comparisons would be illustrative. As a human being, I would say she could be considered a pistol where a cruise missile were required. Although one must also see the similarities to both weapons. She is as ineffective in big time situations as the former, but just as explosive as the latter. However, she is not always wise in her selection of targets: she oftem aims for things that are way out of reach and well beyond her capabilities.

Her strengths are admirable. I know of no other person of such minimal value who tries as hard as she does. Most people say that she is too stupid to know when she should quit. I think it is because she is valiant and good of heart. By comparison, I am weak...as I would shoot myself if I were like her...or, if I were in a generous mood, I would use my last dollars to purchase a large arena so that all the people who wanted to shoot me could have an equal opportunity. She is a competent designer, and an able commanding officer

Tessa/Captain Testarossa
2) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, RE: IMPRESSION OF FEELINGS FOR SGT. SOUSUKE SAGARA:

Misplaced. Inappropriate. Fruitless.


3) SGT. SOUSUKE SAGARA. RE: SUCCESS AND FAILURES IN HIGHSCHOOL ENVIRONMENT, REFERENCE TO STUDENT AND TEENAGE EXPECTATIONS:

See Copy RE: MISS KANAME CHIDORI , entry #3, for completed answer. Of note, Miss Chidori's assessments of my ability will hold more weight in this specific matter as she is an actual high school student and has a normal female high school female perspective. As I put much weight in her opinions and assessments, my own opinions can be considered identical to hers.


Tessa/Captain Testarossa
4) SGT. SOUSUKE SAGARA, FEELINGS FOR XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX , RE: COMPATIBILITY, FRIENDSHIP, LOVE, AND SEXUAL RELATIONS:

Compatibility: excellent relationship of subordinate to superior.

Friendship: as commanded

Love: not likely

Sexual Relations: Why?


Faithfully submitted,
SGT. SOUSUKE SAGARA

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Kaname was quite content. This had turned out better than she had hoped. It felt better than that memorable walk-off homerun she had hit in the school league softball tournament last year. Yes indeed, it could be safe to say she'd hit THIS one out of the park too!!!

She was very glad that Sousuke had been so very complete in his description of Mithril safe houses, drop-off points, and courier stops. With some convincing acting, and with crucial information she had gleaned from Sousuke about opportunities available in critical situations, she should have no problem having these papers delivered to Captain Testarossa under the cover of Sousuke's name!

And, she wouldn't be lying, either! The situation WOULD be crtitical...the moment the papers reached their destination. Or she might more accurately say things would reach critical mass...and MELTDOWN!!!

She slept very well that night, and for many nights thereafter.

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Finis

[darkbane]

*** rolls over the floor laughing, out of the appartment, and gets hit by a car.... TAXI!!!!! ***

to put it in unreal tournament terms:

RAMPAGE!

--

oh. my. god. this is so evil, i don't think even chidori would go for that.

i absolutely don't allow the word Finis there... you've got a commitment to this story . i can practically feel another Misunderstandings-type arc followed by another Explanations-type arc hanging in the air here. yes, history DOES repeat itself.

in all seriousness, this is some great stuff, and i hope there's at least one final follow-up arc to tie up all loose ends and patch up things between kaname and sousuke..... as for tessa, for all i care she can kick sousuke out of mithril and we still wouldn't give, but she might calm down a bit too, who knows... it's your story, but we'd definitely like to see more of it.

the worst thing you can do is leave it hanging like this tho, heh don't do that

[dd]

Well: Kaname has had appendicitis...almost been killed by a balloon...given swiped flowers (possibly from the belongings area in the morgue)...'threated' with a syringe in Sousuke's hand...eaten a bit of hospital food...seen the homework with Tessa's handiwork...found out K&M are missing in action...been blindsided by a huge hospital bill and repairs (NOT coverable by insurance)...and put through a ringer because of Tessa's fax.

She's in the mood for some evil

She also is quite well aware that Tessa will figure out who it's from, knowing that Kaname will have essentially caught her red-handed. I think Kaname will be in heaven (?literally, if Tessa has her way?) after that.

Possible future additions, once I get through some busy days comin' up:

Follow-up to In S&H E2, with Sousuke looking for Kaname's body and then getting his homework when he finds she's OK. Kaname may show her copies of her work...which she could download somewhere...perhaps even put on the net of Tessa pisses her off enough later.

Resolution of Kurz & Mellisa MIA

Sousuke & Kaname date(s)

Tessa's response to Kaname's broadside

Stand alone mission(s)

Happenings on a school trip

etc.

[dd]

Another possibility.

Sousuke decides to be peacemaker.

Developes some contest for Kaname and Tessa (fishing? shooting? repeat Arm Slave contest? etc.?

Winner gets an island getaway for Sousuke for a day. Or whatever. Sousuke even agrees to foot the bill. Says it's worth it if the two of them will tone things down a bit.

Maybe it ends in a tie, and we see what happens when Sousuke and the TWO ladies end up stuck on an island. Hmmm.

[grahf]

nice!!! i wanna see a catfight!!

[darkbane]

yeay contest... and yeay date.... tho i don't think sousuke would go on a date with kaname this soon after she fudgie up his whole carreer just kiddin

it wasn't apparent to me when i read it that kaname was meaning tessa to figure out the original author, i guess i kind of missed out on that.

anyhow, guess we'll be busily waiting for that next arc..

[dd]

Kaname doesn't expect Tessa to get the joke right away, and would proably get more of a kick if she never did...but she's smart enough to know that Tessa's smart enough to figure things out.

Hell, Tessa might even take the thing and do a fingerprint analysis on it (herself...won't let anyone else read it...except maybe Sousuke )

The big thing Kaname wants is that instant kick to the gut Tessa would get when she starts to read.

[darkbane]

mwhahah actually i'm looking forward to reading about the stupid expression on tessa's face when she reads the docs more than kaname is. fun for the whole family

[pilot03]

What a devil of a women, but everyone gets it in the end. What comes around goes around.

[dd]

True!

And things will get worse before they get better!

[full_metal_sousuke]

when she was typing about the section 4: sousuke's felings towards kaname. talking about the self lubrication and the other lubrication. also the part when she reffered to tessa having a chest like a boy had me LMAO (laughing my arse off.) this is great