[FIC] Explanations, part 5 {Chapter 9}
Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2003 3:57 am
Lt. Commander Andrey Kalinin sat at his desk, eyes on the most recent photograph of his sons and daughter. He thought specifically of his youngest son, Petr, who would be about age 16 now. He absentmindedly ran his fingers through his beard, wondering what his son might be doing, and what kind of man he was on the verge of becoming. Certainly, there were any number of intelligence sources he could secretly employ to discover such things as grades, clubs, sports, and hobbies. And if he wanted, he would have no difficulty finding out the name of his son's dog, his best friend, or the girls he liked. Such knowledge would be pointless and would not satisfy him, though. It was too long since he had actually seen his son, and he had no idea when he would have such an opportunity again.
He placed the photograph back in his top desk drawer, next to the photograph of his late wife and the faded photograph of his parents, his brothers, and himself. With little arranging of the drawer's contents, he was able to retrieve another photograph, one taken of him during his earliest days in Afganistan.
Looking at the photo, he did a quick mental review of his military career, juxtaposed against the background of his marriage and the lives of his children. He sighed ever so slightly and asked himself if he regretted his past decisions, or if he had grown tired of his current position. After some moments of introspection, he decided his regrets were mostly for opportunities lost, rather than mistakes made and chances taken.
At precisely 1500 hours, a knock sounded on the door to his cabin.
"Enter," he said.
Sergeant Sousuke Sagara entered the room smartly, came to quick attention, and saluted. "Reporting as ordered, Sir!"
"At ease, Sergeant, please have a seat," Kalinin offered, waving one hand towards a pair of simple but comfortable carven oak chairs.
Kalinin made a steeple of his hands as he regarded Sousuke. Here was a young man he had fought against, fought with, and commanded. He had proven a determined foe, a dependable ally, and an exemplary subordinate. He knew more about Sousuke than perhaps anyone else living did, but he was still aware of just how much he didn't know.
Unbeknownst to Sousuke, he felt a kinship to him he that he had felt with a decidedly limited number of people. He also felt a level of responsibility towards him that was an unwanted and uncomfortable burden in a commanding officer.
"Sergeant...I take it you have questions regarding the reason for this meeting?"
"Yes, Lt. Commander. I am forced to believe that I am here now because of events that recently occured at my apartment with Captain Testarossa and Miss Chidori. Is that indeed the case, Sir?"
"The answer is yes and no. You are in this submarine now because of the pending mission. You are in that chair in this office because of the Captain's report. Before we proceed any further, I require that you give me full details of the day in question, keeping explanations professional and to the point. I shall hold all questions until the end of your report."
Sousuke's report was thorough and evenly paced. Kalinin watched as well as listened. He listened not only the words spoken, but the intonation, the cadence, and the length of any and all pauses. His eyes sought clues as well, watching Sousuke's eyes; his mouth; his posture; the movement of his hands and arms; the inclination of his head.
When Sousuke had finished, Kalinin said affably "An excellent report, Sergeant. I thank you. You have answered many questions I had, and have confirmed many of my suspicions as well. I will say for your sake, that I do not find fault in any of your actions, and have not lost any of my high regard for you as a professional. I continue to have concern for the frequent nature of unusual occurences that follow in your wake, but I am not displeased by your manner of dealing with such happenstance."
He watched Sousuke's face for signs of relief, and caught the telltale relaxation of his facial muscles most individuals would have missed. "Regardless of the cause of recent events, their occurence has by itself raised numerous issues for discussion, some of which I shall now bring up for examination. Before we get into details, I will mention one thing briefly and tangentially, with the greatest expectation that such words will remain between us alone...I take it I have your full cooperation and assurances, Sergeant?"
"Yes Sir, of course Sir!"
"Good. The events you have so meticulously described have raised questions about not only you, Sergeant, but also about Miss Chidori...and about Captain Testarossa. Even if I do not repeat Miss Chidori's name further in our converstaion, I am certain you will be cognizant of her implied role in your actions and decisions.
"As for our Captain, I simply wish to state that we have discussed matters together that have extended beyond the realm of professional conduct, and that includes issue relating to you, to her, and particularly to her where you are concerned. I did not want you to think that I have lacked in complete thouroughness, had you had thoughts yourself regarding such matters." Kalinin could sense that Sousuke had previously had some amount of uncertainty regarding Captain Testarossa's actions and interpretations, and had even more questions now. Those questions were not inconsequential, but it was not his place to answer them.
"Lt. Commander, may I ask a question, Sir?"
"Yes, Sergeant. If my guess is correct, you will be asking if a decision has been made regarding you mission in Japan?"
"Yes, Sir."
"All I can say is that the matter has been discussed in preliminary fashion and that, as you might surmise, this meeting between you and I will go a long way towards providing additional points for consideration." Kalinin, like Sousuke, continued to sit with the utmost economy of movement. The Lt. Commander smiled when he once again realized that his subordinate was also quite skilled in his observations.
"I understand, Sir."
"And do you approve, Sergeant?" Kalinin asked wryly.
"It is neither my position to approve or disapprove, Sir. Though, I must say that I appreciate all efforts at completeness, and I feel compelled to say that I will not doubt the fairness of any conclusions reached."
"I see. I would like to take a few moments to discuss some recent events that have occured in your capacity as Miss Chidori's bodyguard, making use of this opportunity to understand your intentions, motives, and decision making during such events."
The older soldier mentioned a number of memorable events that had taken place, and Sousuke could not help but look uncomfortable on occasion, despite his awareness that his every expression would be monitored. Serious conversations with the Lt. Commander could be difficult and demanding! When the time came for Sousuke to discuss his part in selected events, the younger man did so with and economy of speech and gesticulations.
As he listened to his subordinate's explanations, Kalinin could not help but smile inside, even if such a smile was somewhat inappropriate. Good Lord, but that young man was a veritable lightning rod for trouble...Kalinin would not be surprised at all had Sousuke secretly been auditioning for the role of the Fifth Rider of the Apocalype! And who else on the planet could possibly have such a talent to hurdle the sublime or stumble on the ridiculous, often in such close succession. He shook his head slightly when he heard of the use of the Bonta-Kun suit. He had seen photographs of the device, and remembered his initial moments of disbelief. Could anything at all in the complete annals of military history rival the combination of absurdity and success provided by that solution?!
When Sousuke finally ceased speaking, Kalanin maintained a straight face while offering his professional critique. When he finished, he took the opportunity to provide the young Sergeant with some insight into aspects of his mission that he may have had no prior reason to consider.
"There is one other issue I should bring to your attention, Sergeant. There are many people at work behind the scenes of your mission, many of whom you have never met and may have no requirement to meet. They are all worthy of thanks for their tireless efforts, and they all deserve your respect. I speak only partially in jest when I say that it is by all accounts a good thing that you shall not come face to face with some such individuals, as I could offer no guarantee of your personal safety. To be blunt, Sergeant, you are not thought kindly of by the staff members in the Financial Section, nor are you likely to be invited to any parties thrown by the Domestic Relations team. I will finish by saying that it has taken considerable time and effort...not to mention bribes in the form of untraceable donations, grants, and pocket monies...to convince school officials to allow you to remain."
"I see, Sir. I shall endeavor to improve."
"Yes, please see that you do your best in that regard, Sergeant. Would you like a cup of tea or a glass of water?"
"No thank you, Sir."
"Sergeant, do you agree that we can often learn as much about an individual by the questions he asks, as we learn from the answers he gives?" Kalinin smiled slightly, and projected an image of approachability.
"Yes, Sir. And I should say that recently I have had ample opportunity to both ask and answer my own questions." Sousuke also smiled slightly, and relaxed his posture a small amount.
"Ah, I see. Do you consider that good fortune, or bad fortune?" Kalinin said raising one eyebrow.
"Yes" was all that Sousuke replied while keeping a straight face.
Kalinin chuckled. "You are not planning on becoming a sage and leaving the service, are you Sergeant Sagara?"
"Not today, Sir. And not without permission."
"Permission, indeed. I will now give you permission to ask a question or two that lays heavy on your mind, Sergeant. After that, I shall take back the rudder."
Sousuke thought a moment. "Sir, if I may, I would like to ask a question on Miss Chidori's behalf."
"I see. Your request speaks well of you, Sergeant." Kalinin had no difficulty learning from Sousuke's question. "You are free to ask, as long as you realize that my answer may be limited, if I am permitted to answer at all."
"Yes, Sir...I understand." Sousuke said, trying his best to hide his anxiety. "Lt. Commander, can you tell me about Mithril's plans for Kaname? Can you tell me if she will be examined? Can you tell me if something is expected of her? How long are we planning to offer her protection? Is she in real and present danger?" Kalinin waited to answer, seeing that Sousuke was still trying to give form to his thoughts. "Sir, could there be a role for Kaname in Mithril?" Sousuke had switched from 'Miss Chidori' to 'Kaname.'
"Ah," Kalinin chuckled, "we have discovered another talent of yours, Sergeant Sagara. You are rather adept at asking simple questions."
"My apology, Sir."
Kalinin went as far as to laugh quietly. "Don't apologize, Sergeant. There is nothing wrong with asking questions, no matter what some military brass may think. I would be disappointed if you didn't have such questions...I know I would ask the same things if I was in your position."
Thank you, Sir."
Kalinin's face took on a more serious look. "I must refuse to answer a majority of your question, Sergeant. This is not my decision alone. And it is not because I do not wish I could inform you of such matters."
"I understand, Sir."
"In regards to the level of risk, the opinions vary. I personally continue to judge it to be unknown, but potentially high. The brief takeover of this craft was enough to open many eyes that had been all too comfortably closed for much too long a time. I do not need to name our long time common foe, may he burn forever in Hell. While he was always one to keep the cards close to his chest, we can not guarantee that he did not tell someone of Miss Chidori's nature. There is, of course, the even more worrisome question of where he learned of Miss Chidori, and whether such a source or sources still exisit. And, despite rigorous recent efforts at improving security and discovering the source of internal leaks, we must still reconsider the sanctity of any secret that Mithril believes it still holds with surety."
"Thank you, sir."
"Would you like to ask the obvious follow-up question, or will you allow me to ask it for you?" Kalinin looked Sousuke directly in the eyes, and continued when the younger man nodded his head. "Yes, Mithril does continue to regard Miss Chidori's safety as a priority, and you remain a trusted option in that regard. I must, of course, put stress on the word option. What I cannot say is how long you will be considered an option...or more importantly, how long you will represent the best option."
Kalinin paused, and folded his hands together on the desk top. "I suppose I may have said too much, but I also see no reason why I should not explain further. In fact, I can see one benefit of such knowledge."
"Sir?" Sousuke asked, curious and concerned.
"You are currently the most appropriate operative in this mission, Sergeant. But, due to recent recruitment, there is a possibility that might change some day. I will not go into details, other than to say a young lady of Japanese descent and American birth has been accepted into Mithril for training. She is a very clever young lady, and adept at multiple languages. She is not, as of yet, trained in the use of weapons. She has plans to attend college, and has no aversion to changing the location of her highschool education. I am certain you can see the significance in these facts, Sergeant."
"Yes, Sir. I understand, Sir." Sousuke realized, as he had before, that he could take nothing for granted. He also understood that knowledge of a potential alternative allowed him a greater degree of freedom in examining his own feelings and motives. He would not feel that he was guilty of abandoning Kaname, were he to decide he no longer wanted to serve as her bodyguard. While such an opportunity may not change his personal decision, he certainly appreciated the increased room to breath.
"Sergeant Sagara," Kalinin began, ready to change the direction of his questioning. "I would like your analysis regarding your selection for the mission of safeguarding Miss Chidori. Why were you selected?"
"Sir, I would list age, Japanese language skill, and necessary combat skills as the prime reasons."
"Very good, Sergeant. Can you think of additional reasons why we at Mithril may have sent you there? Secondary purposes." Kalinin was curious to see what conclusions his subordinate may have reached.
"Nothing major, Sir. The academic opportunities could prove useful. But I doubt they would have a major impact on my function as a combat soldier"
"The succint answer is education, Sergeant. But not necessarily academics. There are certainly things to learn outside of school texts, just as there are things to be learned outside of military manuals.
"Your placement in that school not only forces you to deal with people and situations you would otherwise never see, but it also allows you to do those things. Similarly, it will force you to examine yourself, and allow you a chance to do the same. The distinction between necessity and opportunity is important to note. I will allow you to contemplate the significance at your own leisure. To be blunt, we wanted you not only to examine yourself, but to examine yourself within a reference population of individuals of your own general age group. We also wanted to provide you the opportunity to grow as a person, Sergeant."
"Sir, I don't understand. How should these things concern me regarding my effectiveness as a soldier? And why should my superiors be concerned about me in this manner?" Sousuke was clearly puzzled.
Kalinin stroked his beard briefly, and took another sip of water. He sighed briefly, understanding the magnitude of the task at hand. It would take time and patience, and there was only so much he could accomplish today in one meeting. "I will answer your last question first. It is by no means the fault of Mithril, or any of her members, that you had a difficult and abbreviated childhood...it was not by any of our actions that you were forced to adopt the ways of a warrior at such an early and vulnerable age."
Sousuke said nothing, at that moment remembering the advance of foreign troops, the noise of gunfire, and his first desperate flight for life. As if reading his thoughts, Kalinin bowed his head before continuing. "Nonetheless, Sergeant, there are those of us who feel responsibility for you, and obligations towards you. We are making use of you at a young age even now, Sergeant, and our use of you keeps you absent from a world full of opportunities that have nothing to do with fighting, and bleeding, and dying."
"But sir, why is my age a concern here. In many countries, by tradition or by necessity, I would be considered an adult. And, regardless, I am a soldier. If you yourself had not recruited me sir, I would most likely still be fighting somewhere, if I were still living." Sousuke showed no rancor or regrets in his voice.
"Sergeant, in many cultures, the old feel a strong need to protect and nurture the young. They often want their children or charges to have a better life than they themselves have. While I cannot claim kinship to you, and whereas I may even have been responsible for the death of people who were your actual family, I still feel the a connection to you. That connection causes me to be concerned for your welfare as if you were a son or a younger brother of mine. There are others who have served with you that feel the same way. While our duty comes first, and we are required to set these feelings aside in the heat of battle, there are times when these feelings can be acted upon. Sergeant, as long as you are a member of Mithril, you will never be alone unless you wish it"
"Sir," Sousuke said, feeling somewhat humbled.
"And," Kalinin continued, "it is also a matter of prinicipal to myself and others. We, the people with command decisions, cannot allow ourselves to be overzealous in the use of the soldiers at our disposal. We should not become selectively blind to the very values we are fighting for."
When he resumed speaking, his voice was deep and sincere. "Even if you you were content to remain cloistered away from the discoveries and harsh realities of teenage life, we would certainly be remiss if we prevented your opportunity to experience such things." His thoughts returned to Petr. He had at one time earned the right to bring his youngest son with him into Mithril, an opportunity he turned down for his boy's sake. While he might wonder how things would have gone had he chosen differently, he refused to feel any regret.
"I see, Lt. Commander. I am compelled to offer my thanks."
"Certainly, Sergeant," Kalinin started benignly, but a hint of steel crept into his voice when he added "But, do not think we are driven only by altruism...we are not. It is true that there are still those within Mithril that agree with the old concept that the best soldier would be a skilled warrior totally devoid of all the constraints of society, someone willing to take any life at any moment, and someone willing to give up their own life whenever they were asked, regardless of reason. Plainly put, they want someone who will kill without question...destroy without remorse...and die without hesitation.
"That's not only a cold and a heartless philosophy, Sergeant, but also one that is limited in the scope of itsusefulness, and one that throughout history has shown itself to be self-defeating. That is not my philosophy, and it is not Captain Testarossa's. We both want you to be the best soldier you can be, and we both have similar ideas on how that might be accomplished. We expect you to become more than just an instrument of destruction."
Sousuke clearly wrestled with that concept for a a few minutes while his superior officer awaited his commentary. "Sir, when I first became a warrior, my elders told me that I was a weapon, God's weapon. They told me that I existed for God's use, and that they were the one's who would tell me God's will. They told me my existence did not extend beyond that, and that my life was only justified by my success. They discouraged thought, and said I had no need for my own judgement. I grew up believing that."
He paused, and Kalinin allowed him his moments of reflection. "When I found out how the people I had trusted had lied to serve themselves, I forswore them and their religion, but not all of their philosophy. Slowly, as I fought side by side with people of other ideals, I learned the necessity of judgement, and the value of thought. This is as you have said things should be. But, I cannot say that the new truths I have learned have changed the fact that I can best serve as a weapon. And I fail to understand how the opportunities you speak of will make me a better weapon." Sousuke stopped and asked if he may have a glass of water, which his commanding officier promptly supplied.
Kalinin himself thought a moment before responding. "Sergeant, I will admit that conceptually, soldiers are weapons. But, I suggest to you that such a view is not only dehumanizing, but also restrictive. A sword is a weapon, Sergeant, as is a gun. Both ultimately have no value that's not dependent upon the hand that wields them. A good warrior remains a good warrior, whether his commander is skilled or clumsy, dead or still in command."
"I can see that, Sir. Yes."
"Moreover, Sergeant, humanity is not a weakness in a soldier, but rather a strength, a measure of flexibility. A soldier who knows what to expect of himself is a blessing. And a soldier with an understanding of his fellow men is of potentially greater value. Not just in battle, but also as a contributing member of society.
"Despite what you say, I see far more in you Sergeant than you are willing to accept. I am not simply stating the obvious when I say that a seed has the potential to become a tree. Sergeant, that potential is unreached without the proper surroundings. I understand that you are having a difficult time at school adjusting to the new environment. But I will go on record saying that I believe it is exactly the environment you need to reach your full growth and bear your best fruit."
"I see, Sir. You have given me much to think on." Sousuke thought briefly on the irony of his current situation. He came with questions that were answered, and he was given clues to finding other answers on his own. Still, it seemed, he may leave with more questions than he came with. He smiled briefly, realizing that he had been foolish to expect otherwise.
If Sousuke had been looking at Kalinin, he would have seen an answering smile, and a calculating look in his eyes. "Sergeant Sagara?"
"Yes, Lt. Commander?"
With a deceptively calm voice, the older man lit the fuse. "A question for you to think of at your leisure--do you think Miss Chidori would be content if you were merely a weapon?" Kalinin was pleased when he noticed the tightness in Sousuke's jaw.
"Sir?!!"
"At your leisure Sergeant. Have I exhausted you, or do you feel able to continue with our discussion?"
"I am fine, Sir. Please continue."
"Very well. I need to be able to assess your progress, Sergeant, both as an operative and as a maturing adult. I need to be able to judge your usefulness, in general terms and specifically in the context of this mission. And I need to gain an understanding of how you affect the lives of the people you come in contact with. But I must warn you, that the following questions may be the most difficult and most discomforting questions I will ever ask you. Are you willing to proceed?"
"I am prepared, Sir."
"Well then, today we shall start with Miss Chidori. First, I would like your analysis of her strengths and weakensses as you see them..."
Sousuke felt the beginning prickles of discomfort, but shook them off.
"Second, I want for you to give a detailed description of Miss Chidori's feelings for you, as you see them..."
The prickles were threatening to become thorns, but Sousuke still perservered.
"Third, as if you were an unbiased observer, I would like you to provide me an evaluation of Sergeant Sousuke Sagara regarding his successes and failures within the school environment...as a student and a teenager, not as a covert operative. And..."
The thorns had become daggers. Sousuke, following the train of questioning, stood ready for swords.
"...Finally, I would like you to describe your feelings for Miss Chidori, with particular reference to the concepts of compatibility, friendship, love, and sexual relations." To his credit, Kalinin managed to ask the questions with the greatest aplomb.
Just as Sousuke began to question his ability to refrain from some unprofession exclaimation or untoward physical response, the buzzer on Lt. Commander Kalinin's intercom went off, breaking the mood. Sousuke plainly looked relieved.
"Lt. Commander?" It was Captain Testarossa's voice.
"Yes, Madame Captain?"
"The Intelligence Division reports that increased ground traffic has been noted in the vicinity of our target. They strongly recommend that we advance operations by eight hours."
"I understand, Captain. I shall commence the briefing session as soon as we can gather all necessary personnel."
"Thank you, Mr. Kalinin. I knew I could depend on you." The intercom light faded to darkness.
"As you can see, Sergeant, we must cut this conversation short."
"I understand, Sir!"
"As I was concerned that we might be faced with some form of interuption, and because there is a good chance that we may not have opportunity to talk like this again any time soon, I made certain I was prepared for such contingencies." Sousuke could see no evidence of a smile, no twitch of an eye.
"Sir?"
Lt. Commander Kalinin opened a side drawer in his desk, and removed a number of typed sheets of paper. "You will find the last four questions I asked you written down here, Sergeant. I would like complete and honest answers. While I expect your personal thoughts on these matters, I see no reason that you cannot enlist Miss Chidori's assistance if you see the need."
He reached into his desk for a duplicate set of papers. "These extra copies are to cover for the unlikely possibility that a dog might consume the first set. Barring any such canine gastronomical disaster, you could also consider giving them to Miss Chidori for her to fill out. You can let her know on my behalf, that I would not consider it an imposition to read her responses as well. I will leave things to your discretion, Sergeant."
Sousuke sweated, and cursed the untimely perspiration. "I will do as you order, Sir."
"I expect your answers within a week's time. You may choose any method of transmission you like. I will take this opportunity and give you my word that I will keep your answers strictly confidencial. However, if you wish for me to share the results with Captain Testarossa, you need only ask. You are dismissed, Sergeant."
He placed the photograph back in his top desk drawer, next to the photograph of his late wife and the faded photograph of his parents, his brothers, and himself. With little arranging of the drawer's contents, he was able to retrieve another photograph, one taken of him during his earliest days in Afganistan.
Looking at the photo, he did a quick mental review of his military career, juxtaposed against the background of his marriage and the lives of his children. He sighed ever so slightly and asked himself if he regretted his past decisions, or if he had grown tired of his current position. After some moments of introspection, he decided his regrets were mostly for opportunities lost, rather than mistakes made and chances taken.
At precisely 1500 hours, a knock sounded on the door to his cabin.
"Enter," he said.
Sergeant Sousuke Sagara entered the room smartly, came to quick attention, and saluted. "Reporting as ordered, Sir!"
"At ease, Sergeant, please have a seat," Kalinin offered, waving one hand towards a pair of simple but comfortable carven oak chairs.
Kalinin made a steeple of his hands as he regarded Sousuke. Here was a young man he had fought against, fought with, and commanded. He had proven a determined foe, a dependable ally, and an exemplary subordinate. He knew more about Sousuke than perhaps anyone else living did, but he was still aware of just how much he didn't know.
Unbeknownst to Sousuke, he felt a kinship to him he that he had felt with a decidedly limited number of people. He also felt a level of responsibility towards him that was an unwanted and uncomfortable burden in a commanding officer.
"Sergeant...I take it you have questions regarding the reason for this meeting?"
"Yes, Lt. Commander. I am forced to believe that I am here now because of events that recently occured at my apartment with Captain Testarossa and Miss Chidori. Is that indeed the case, Sir?"
"The answer is yes and no. You are in this submarine now because of the pending mission. You are in that chair in this office because of the Captain's report. Before we proceed any further, I require that you give me full details of the day in question, keeping explanations professional and to the point. I shall hold all questions until the end of your report."
Sousuke's report was thorough and evenly paced. Kalinin watched as well as listened. He listened not only the words spoken, but the intonation, the cadence, and the length of any and all pauses. His eyes sought clues as well, watching Sousuke's eyes; his mouth; his posture; the movement of his hands and arms; the inclination of his head.
When Sousuke had finished, Kalinin said affably "An excellent report, Sergeant. I thank you. You have answered many questions I had, and have confirmed many of my suspicions as well. I will say for your sake, that I do not find fault in any of your actions, and have not lost any of my high regard for you as a professional. I continue to have concern for the frequent nature of unusual occurences that follow in your wake, but I am not displeased by your manner of dealing with such happenstance."
He watched Sousuke's face for signs of relief, and caught the telltale relaxation of his facial muscles most individuals would have missed. "Regardless of the cause of recent events, their occurence has by itself raised numerous issues for discussion, some of which I shall now bring up for examination. Before we get into details, I will mention one thing briefly and tangentially, with the greatest expectation that such words will remain between us alone...I take it I have your full cooperation and assurances, Sergeant?"
"Yes Sir, of course Sir!"
"Good. The events you have so meticulously described have raised questions about not only you, Sergeant, but also about Miss Chidori...and about Captain Testarossa. Even if I do not repeat Miss Chidori's name further in our converstaion, I am certain you will be cognizant of her implied role in your actions and decisions.
"As for our Captain, I simply wish to state that we have discussed matters together that have extended beyond the realm of professional conduct, and that includes issue relating to you, to her, and particularly to her where you are concerned. I did not want you to think that I have lacked in complete thouroughness, had you had thoughts yourself regarding such matters." Kalinin could sense that Sousuke had previously had some amount of uncertainty regarding Captain Testarossa's actions and interpretations, and had even more questions now. Those questions were not inconsequential, but it was not his place to answer them.
"Lt. Commander, may I ask a question, Sir?"
"Yes, Sergeant. If my guess is correct, you will be asking if a decision has been made regarding you mission in Japan?"
"Yes, Sir."
"All I can say is that the matter has been discussed in preliminary fashion and that, as you might surmise, this meeting between you and I will go a long way towards providing additional points for consideration." Kalinin, like Sousuke, continued to sit with the utmost economy of movement. The Lt. Commander smiled when he once again realized that his subordinate was also quite skilled in his observations.
"I understand, Sir."
"And do you approve, Sergeant?" Kalinin asked wryly.
"It is neither my position to approve or disapprove, Sir. Though, I must say that I appreciate all efforts at completeness, and I feel compelled to say that I will not doubt the fairness of any conclusions reached."
"I see. I would like to take a few moments to discuss some recent events that have occured in your capacity as Miss Chidori's bodyguard, making use of this opportunity to understand your intentions, motives, and decision making during such events."
The older soldier mentioned a number of memorable events that had taken place, and Sousuke could not help but look uncomfortable on occasion, despite his awareness that his every expression would be monitored. Serious conversations with the Lt. Commander could be difficult and demanding! When the time came for Sousuke to discuss his part in selected events, the younger man did so with and economy of speech and gesticulations.
As he listened to his subordinate's explanations, Kalinin could not help but smile inside, even if such a smile was somewhat inappropriate. Good Lord, but that young man was a veritable lightning rod for trouble...Kalinin would not be surprised at all had Sousuke secretly been auditioning for the role of the Fifth Rider of the Apocalype! And who else on the planet could possibly have such a talent to hurdle the sublime or stumble on the ridiculous, often in such close succession. He shook his head slightly when he heard of the use of the Bonta-Kun suit. He had seen photographs of the device, and remembered his initial moments of disbelief. Could anything at all in the complete annals of military history rival the combination of absurdity and success provided by that solution?!
When Sousuke finally ceased speaking, Kalanin maintained a straight face while offering his professional critique. When he finished, he took the opportunity to provide the young Sergeant with some insight into aspects of his mission that he may have had no prior reason to consider.
"There is one other issue I should bring to your attention, Sergeant. There are many people at work behind the scenes of your mission, many of whom you have never met and may have no requirement to meet. They are all worthy of thanks for their tireless efforts, and they all deserve your respect. I speak only partially in jest when I say that it is by all accounts a good thing that you shall not come face to face with some such individuals, as I could offer no guarantee of your personal safety. To be blunt, Sergeant, you are not thought kindly of by the staff members in the Financial Section, nor are you likely to be invited to any parties thrown by the Domestic Relations team. I will finish by saying that it has taken considerable time and effort...not to mention bribes in the form of untraceable donations, grants, and pocket monies...to convince school officials to allow you to remain."
"I see, Sir. I shall endeavor to improve."
"Yes, please see that you do your best in that regard, Sergeant. Would you like a cup of tea or a glass of water?"
"No thank you, Sir."
"Sergeant, do you agree that we can often learn as much about an individual by the questions he asks, as we learn from the answers he gives?" Kalinin smiled slightly, and projected an image of approachability.
"Yes, Sir. And I should say that recently I have had ample opportunity to both ask and answer my own questions." Sousuke also smiled slightly, and relaxed his posture a small amount.
"Ah, I see. Do you consider that good fortune, or bad fortune?" Kalinin said raising one eyebrow.
"Yes" was all that Sousuke replied while keeping a straight face.
Kalinin chuckled. "You are not planning on becoming a sage and leaving the service, are you Sergeant Sagara?"
"Not today, Sir. And not without permission."
"Permission, indeed. I will now give you permission to ask a question or two that lays heavy on your mind, Sergeant. After that, I shall take back the rudder."
Sousuke thought a moment. "Sir, if I may, I would like to ask a question on Miss Chidori's behalf."
"I see. Your request speaks well of you, Sergeant." Kalinin had no difficulty learning from Sousuke's question. "You are free to ask, as long as you realize that my answer may be limited, if I am permitted to answer at all."
"Yes, Sir...I understand." Sousuke said, trying his best to hide his anxiety. "Lt. Commander, can you tell me about Mithril's plans for Kaname? Can you tell me if she will be examined? Can you tell me if something is expected of her? How long are we planning to offer her protection? Is she in real and present danger?" Kalinin waited to answer, seeing that Sousuke was still trying to give form to his thoughts. "Sir, could there be a role for Kaname in Mithril?" Sousuke had switched from 'Miss Chidori' to 'Kaname.'
"Ah," Kalinin chuckled, "we have discovered another talent of yours, Sergeant Sagara. You are rather adept at asking simple questions."
"My apology, Sir."
Kalinin went as far as to laugh quietly. "Don't apologize, Sergeant. There is nothing wrong with asking questions, no matter what some military brass may think. I would be disappointed if you didn't have such questions...I know I would ask the same things if I was in your position."
Thank you, Sir."
Kalinin's face took on a more serious look. "I must refuse to answer a majority of your question, Sergeant. This is not my decision alone. And it is not because I do not wish I could inform you of such matters."
"I understand, Sir."
"In regards to the level of risk, the opinions vary. I personally continue to judge it to be unknown, but potentially high. The brief takeover of this craft was enough to open many eyes that had been all too comfortably closed for much too long a time. I do not need to name our long time common foe, may he burn forever in Hell. While he was always one to keep the cards close to his chest, we can not guarantee that he did not tell someone of Miss Chidori's nature. There is, of course, the even more worrisome question of where he learned of Miss Chidori, and whether such a source or sources still exisit. And, despite rigorous recent efforts at improving security and discovering the source of internal leaks, we must still reconsider the sanctity of any secret that Mithril believes it still holds with surety."
"Thank you, sir."
"Would you like to ask the obvious follow-up question, or will you allow me to ask it for you?" Kalinin looked Sousuke directly in the eyes, and continued when the younger man nodded his head. "Yes, Mithril does continue to regard Miss Chidori's safety as a priority, and you remain a trusted option in that regard. I must, of course, put stress on the word option. What I cannot say is how long you will be considered an option...or more importantly, how long you will represent the best option."
Kalinin paused, and folded his hands together on the desk top. "I suppose I may have said too much, but I also see no reason why I should not explain further. In fact, I can see one benefit of such knowledge."
"Sir?" Sousuke asked, curious and concerned.
"You are currently the most appropriate operative in this mission, Sergeant. But, due to recent recruitment, there is a possibility that might change some day. I will not go into details, other than to say a young lady of Japanese descent and American birth has been accepted into Mithril for training. She is a very clever young lady, and adept at multiple languages. She is not, as of yet, trained in the use of weapons. She has plans to attend college, and has no aversion to changing the location of her highschool education. I am certain you can see the significance in these facts, Sergeant."
"Yes, Sir. I understand, Sir." Sousuke realized, as he had before, that he could take nothing for granted. He also understood that knowledge of a potential alternative allowed him a greater degree of freedom in examining his own feelings and motives. He would not feel that he was guilty of abandoning Kaname, were he to decide he no longer wanted to serve as her bodyguard. While such an opportunity may not change his personal decision, he certainly appreciated the increased room to breath.
"Sergeant Sagara," Kalinin began, ready to change the direction of his questioning. "I would like your analysis regarding your selection for the mission of safeguarding Miss Chidori. Why were you selected?"
"Sir, I would list age, Japanese language skill, and necessary combat skills as the prime reasons."
"Very good, Sergeant. Can you think of additional reasons why we at Mithril may have sent you there? Secondary purposes." Kalinin was curious to see what conclusions his subordinate may have reached.
"Nothing major, Sir. The academic opportunities could prove useful. But I doubt they would have a major impact on my function as a combat soldier"
"The succint answer is education, Sergeant. But not necessarily academics. There are certainly things to learn outside of school texts, just as there are things to be learned outside of military manuals.
"Your placement in that school not only forces you to deal with people and situations you would otherwise never see, but it also allows you to do those things. Similarly, it will force you to examine yourself, and allow you a chance to do the same. The distinction between necessity and opportunity is important to note. I will allow you to contemplate the significance at your own leisure. To be blunt, we wanted you not only to examine yourself, but to examine yourself within a reference population of individuals of your own general age group. We also wanted to provide you the opportunity to grow as a person, Sergeant."
"Sir, I don't understand. How should these things concern me regarding my effectiveness as a soldier? And why should my superiors be concerned about me in this manner?" Sousuke was clearly puzzled.
Kalinin stroked his beard briefly, and took another sip of water. He sighed briefly, understanding the magnitude of the task at hand. It would take time and patience, and there was only so much he could accomplish today in one meeting. "I will answer your last question first. It is by no means the fault of Mithril, or any of her members, that you had a difficult and abbreviated childhood...it was not by any of our actions that you were forced to adopt the ways of a warrior at such an early and vulnerable age."
Sousuke said nothing, at that moment remembering the advance of foreign troops, the noise of gunfire, and his first desperate flight for life. As if reading his thoughts, Kalinin bowed his head before continuing. "Nonetheless, Sergeant, there are those of us who feel responsibility for you, and obligations towards you. We are making use of you at a young age even now, Sergeant, and our use of you keeps you absent from a world full of opportunities that have nothing to do with fighting, and bleeding, and dying."
"But sir, why is my age a concern here. In many countries, by tradition or by necessity, I would be considered an adult. And, regardless, I am a soldier. If you yourself had not recruited me sir, I would most likely still be fighting somewhere, if I were still living." Sousuke showed no rancor or regrets in his voice.
"Sergeant, in many cultures, the old feel a strong need to protect and nurture the young. They often want their children or charges to have a better life than they themselves have. While I cannot claim kinship to you, and whereas I may even have been responsible for the death of people who were your actual family, I still feel the a connection to you. That connection causes me to be concerned for your welfare as if you were a son or a younger brother of mine. There are others who have served with you that feel the same way. While our duty comes first, and we are required to set these feelings aside in the heat of battle, there are times when these feelings can be acted upon. Sergeant, as long as you are a member of Mithril, you will never be alone unless you wish it"
"Sir," Sousuke said, feeling somewhat humbled.
"And," Kalinin continued, "it is also a matter of prinicipal to myself and others. We, the people with command decisions, cannot allow ourselves to be overzealous in the use of the soldiers at our disposal. We should not become selectively blind to the very values we are fighting for."
When he resumed speaking, his voice was deep and sincere. "Even if you you were content to remain cloistered away from the discoveries and harsh realities of teenage life, we would certainly be remiss if we prevented your opportunity to experience such things." His thoughts returned to Petr. He had at one time earned the right to bring his youngest son with him into Mithril, an opportunity he turned down for his boy's sake. While he might wonder how things would have gone had he chosen differently, he refused to feel any regret.
"I see, Lt. Commander. I am compelled to offer my thanks."
"Certainly, Sergeant," Kalinin started benignly, but a hint of steel crept into his voice when he added "But, do not think we are driven only by altruism...we are not. It is true that there are still those within Mithril that agree with the old concept that the best soldier would be a skilled warrior totally devoid of all the constraints of society, someone willing to take any life at any moment, and someone willing to give up their own life whenever they were asked, regardless of reason. Plainly put, they want someone who will kill without question...destroy without remorse...and die without hesitation.
"That's not only a cold and a heartless philosophy, Sergeant, but also one that is limited in the scope of itsusefulness, and one that throughout history has shown itself to be self-defeating. That is not my philosophy, and it is not Captain Testarossa's. We both want you to be the best soldier you can be, and we both have similar ideas on how that might be accomplished. We expect you to become more than just an instrument of destruction."
Sousuke clearly wrestled with that concept for a a few minutes while his superior officer awaited his commentary. "Sir, when I first became a warrior, my elders told me that I was a weapon, God's weapon. They told me that I existed for God's use, and that they were the one's who would tell me God's will. They told me my existence did not extend beyond that, and that my life was only justified by my success. They discouraged thought, and said I had no need for my own judgement. I grew up believing that."
He paused, and Kalinin allowed him his moments of reflection. "When I found out how the people I had trusted had lied to serve themselves, I forswore them and their religion, but not all of their philosophy. Slowly, as I fought side by side with people of other ideals, I learned the necessity of judgement, and the value of thought. This is as you have said things should be. But, I cannot say that the new truths I have learned have changed the fact that I can best serve as a weapon. And I fail to understand how the opportunities you speak of will make me a better weapon." Sousuke stopped and asked if he may have a glass of water, which his commanding officier promptly supplied.
Kalinin himself thought a moment before responding. "Sergeant, I will admit that conceptually, soldiers are weapons. But, I suggest to you that such a view is not only dehumanizing, but also restrictive. A sword is a weapon, Sergeant, as is a gun. Both ultimately have no value that's not dependent upon the hand that wields them. A good warrior remains a good warrior, whether his commander is skilled or clumsy, dead or still in command."
"I can see that, Sir. Yes."
"Moreover, Sergeant, humanity is not a weakness in a soldier, but rather a strength, a measure of flexibility. A soldier who knows what to expect of himself is a blessing. And a soldier with an understanding of his fellow men is of potentially greater value. Not just in battle, but also as a contributing member of society.
"Despite what you say, I see far more in you Sergeant than you are willing to accept. I am not simply stating the obvious when I say that a seed has the potential to become a tree. Sergeant, that potential is unreached without the proper surroundings. I understand that you are having a difficult time at school adjusting to the new environment. But I will go on record saying that I believe it is exactly the environment you need to reach your full growth and bear your best fruit."
"I see, Sir. You have given me much to think on." Sousuke thought briefly on the irony of his current situation. He came with questions that were answered, and he was given clues to finding other answers on his own. Still, it seemed, he may leave with more questions than he came with. He smiled briefly, realizing that he had been foolish to expect otherwise.
If Sousuke had been looking at Kalinin, he would have seen an answering smile, and a calculating look in his eyes. "Sergeant Sagara?"
"Yes, Lt. Commander?"
With a deceptively calm voice, the older man lit the fuse. "A question for you to think of at your leisure--do you think Miss Chidori would be content if you were merely a weapon?" Kalinin was pleased when he noticed the tightness in Sousuke's jaw.
"Sir?!!"
"At your leisure Sergeant. Have I exhausted you, or do you feel able to continue with our discussion?"
"I am fine, Sir. Please continue."
"Very well. I need to be able to assess your progress, Sergeant, both as an operative and as a maturing adult. I need to be able to judge your usefulness, in general terms and specifically in the context of this mission. And I need to gain an understanding of how you affect the lives of the people you come in contact with. But I must warn you, that the following questions may be the most difficult and most discomforting questions I will ever ask you. Are you willing to proceed?"
"I am prepared, Sir."
"Well then, today we shall start with Miss Chidori. First, I would like your analysis of her strengths and weakensses as you see them..."
Sousuke felt the beginning prickles of discomfort, but shook them off.
"Second, I want for you to give a detailed description of Miss Chidori's feelings for you, as you see them..."
The prickles were threatening to become thorns, but Sousuke still perservered.
"Third, as if you were an unbiased observer, I would like you to provide me an evaluation of Sergeant Sousuke Sagara regarding his successes and failures within the school environment...as a student and a teenager, not as a covert operative. And..."
The thorns had become daggers. Sousuke, following the train of questioning, stood ready for swords.
"...Finally, I would like you to describe your feelings for Miss Chidori, with particular reference to the concepts of compatibility, friendship, love, and sexual relations." To his credit, Kalinin managed to ask the questions with the greatest aplomb.
Just as Sousuke began to question his ability to refrain from some unprofession exclaimation or untoward physical response, the buzzer on Lt. Commander Kalinin's intercom went off, breaking the mood. Sousuke plainly looked relieved.
"Lt. Commander?" It was Captain Testarossa's voice.
"Yes, Madame Captain?"
"The Intelligence Division reports that increased ground traffic has been noted in the vicinity of our target. They strongly recommend that we advance operations by eight hours."
"I understand, Captain. I shall commence the briefing session as soon as we can gather all necessary personnel."
"Thank you, Mr. Kalinin. I knew I could depend on you." The intercom light faded to darkness.
"As you can see, Sergeant, we must cut this conversation short."
"I understand, Sir!"
"As I was concerned that we might be faced with some form of interuption, and because there is a good chance that we may not have opportunity to talk like this again any time soon, I made certain I was prepared for such contingencies." Sousuke could see no evidence of a smile, no twitch of an eye.
"Sir?"
Lt. Commander Kalinin opened a side drawer in his desk, and removed a number of typed sheets of paper. "You will find the last four questions I asked you written down here, Sergeant. I would like complete and honest answers. While I expect your personal thoughts on these matters, I see no reason that you cannot enlist Miss Chidori's assistance if you see the need."
He reached into his desk for a duplicate set of papers. "These extra copies are to cover for the unlikely possibility that a dog might consume the first set. Barring any such canine gastronomical disaster, you could also consider giving them to Miss Chidori for her to fill out. You can let her know on my behalf, that I would not consider it an imposition to read her responses as well. I will leave things to your discretion, Sergeant."
Sousuke sweated, and cursed the untimely perspiration. "I will do as you order, Sir."
"I expect your answers within a week's time. You may choose any method of transmission you like. I will take this opportunity and give you my word that I will keep your answers strictly confidencial. However, if you wish for me to share the results with Captain Testarossa, you need only ask. You are dismissed, Sergeant."
