[FIC] Choices (part 2) {Chapter 39}
Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2003 2:42 am
Sousuke fought hard to keep his mind on the briefing. The mission briefing---a day or so from now--- would be more important; but, this conceptual meeting would still provide crucial background information. It may well provide details that would help him confirm or change the choices he had made.
Mr. Windham had returned to the TDD-1, bringing with him the American supposition that the group behind the Pakastani cabal and the group kidnapping Whispered were one in the same. It was the U.S. Intelligence community's opinion that the shadow organization had hoped to tie up more of the world's attention...not to mention the military capabilities of many nations...by starting a regional nuclear conflict between Pakistan and India. A not so secret 'secret treaty' might have dragged China into the conflict. When the world finally pulled itself away from the spreading catastrophe, it might be too late.
The intelligence operative gave details on the United State's knowledge of scalar weapons...their own, and those suspected to be in use by other nations: some friendly, some not.
Stalin had personally started the ball rolling, pushing the Soviet Union's scientific community down the path identified by Tesla's theories. They had been working diligently at the program ever since, at a scale far beyond that of the Manhattan project, both in manpower and resources, and in ultimate significance. The United States had not been without intelligence breakthroughs, even towards the beginning. However, no one wanted to believe the rumors...no one would take them seriously, except for theorists.
The Soviets took advantage of well known American national traits. The U.S. has always been slow to react to slowly developing threats. They often fell victim to the "Not Invented Here" syndrome. Many influential people in that country had held onto the mistaken idea that the Russians were just ignorant peasants. For a country that had precipitated Hiroshima and Nagasaki, they allowed themselves to remain blind to the power of technological breakthroughs.
Repeatedly, scientists brought warnings to the government and to high-ranking defense ministers. They were not believed. The only strong advocate had been President Reagan, but his hands were tied by unresponsive agencies. Amazing weapons had been developed by the Star Wars Initiative, but they were all useless in the face of scalar weaponry. Endoatmospheric interceptors. EM rail guns. Particle beam weapons. High energy nuclear pumped lasers. Directed energy radio-frequency devices. Extensive sensor networks. Enormous computer resources. All of those were completely vulnerable. All were useless against zero wave systems.
That U.S. president saw through the Russian rhetoric on Mutually Assured Destruction, suspecting that the Soviet Bloc possessed weapons far more capable than ABMs. He feared that his nation's nuclear arsenal was useless against the reported technology. Was useless, or some day would be so.
Worse yet, if the U.S. tried to use the nuclear triad to respond to the threat, their own missiles and their nuclear payloads could be used against them, detonated by the scalar weapons.
There was room for hope, despite all of the doom and gloom. The Russians had put enormous resources towards offensive uses, and towards defensive screens such as Tesla domes. The U.S. had started late in such areas and would not catch up any time soon. However, they had taken another tact. They had started extensive research into theories and mechanisms that could thwart the future threat, as it was currently projected. But, their work had not come to full fruit yet, and it did not take into account any discoveries that might lie within the amorphous realm of Black Technology.
The U.S. was not alone in its efforts or its successes. Bedini had created devices that are capable of disrupting the targeting capabilities of the Russian system. Other defences were in the works as well.
Sousuke drew attention to himself, slapping his own face hard to keep himself from dwelling on thoughts of Kaname and Tessa. Mr. Windam had paused to check his notes and to drink some water...the silence was too great a temptation for Sousuke's worried mind.
Mr. Windham took a moment to discuss a related issue that he did not want to be overlooked. That topic drew Sousuke's attention like blood draws predators. The Whispered.
There were varied reactions to the Whispered worldwide, with very few people in any one nation being aware of their existence, much less their significance. Of those who knew, many were seduced by the opportunities they might provide. There were also those who viewed them as threats, as means to destabilize the balance of power. With the right information, Third World nations could eclipse superpowers...and terrorists could find ways to drag most of the world's population with them on their way to glorious paradise.
There were those who wanted to start Whispered camps. There were those who wanted to dredge up the painful memories of the Salem witch trials and countless other sanctioned acts of persecution. There were those who wanted pogroms. Fortunately, there were also voices of reason. It was true that threats could arise from Black Technology. But, knowledge crucial to overcoming such threats...and totally unrelated threats...might also lie within the minds of the Whispered. Did anyone really want to be guilty of throwing the baby out with the bath water?
Sousuke could not resist his urges entirely. He pulled a small photograph out of his pocket. He looked at it, his feelings alternating between utter numbness and seering agony, his mind trying to find the right setting on its thermostat. He looked up, when Kurz and Melissa placed their hands on his and gave him brief words of encouragement. There were other people with their own anguish to deal with. He put the photo of Kaname away.
Mr. Windham covered many of the details that had been sent by Mithril Intel ops to Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin. He expanded on some areas, and provided additional case reports.
The Soviet array of transmitters was known as the Woodpecker grid because of the noise it made on certain sensor arrays. The clicking noises sounded like the continual pecking of a bird. The waves from those transmitters could travel in different manners, including patterns similar to that of Over The Horizon radar. It had not been possible to ever precisely locate a specific transmitter, or to determine just how large the number of transmitters was..
The sum total of the Russian system was code-named Fer de Lance, named after a deadly South American pit viper. The snake lay in wait for unsuspecting prey, then struck with blinding speed, its victim promptly expiring in writhing agony. The name seemed apt.
The guest speaker went briefly into scientic theory, mentioning terms and theories such as the Zero-Vector axiom, Kaluza geometry, the Bohm-Ahronov effect, and Kaznacacheyev's treatise on EM induction of cellular disease and disorder.
He mentioned incidents related to Russian testing, directed use of prototype weaponry, and unexpected accidents:
*The USS Thresher was suspected to have fallen victim to a longitudinal wave weapon
*Gary Power's U2 was belived to have been downed by a small jury-rigged Tesla howizter.
*In 1976, as a Bicentennial 'gift,' the Russians disrupted communications in the 3-30 mega Hertz range by means of their transmitters.
*U.S. space vehicles and shuttles had been used as targeting experience for the Russians. It was suspected they went even further, causing metal softening that led to the destruction of the Challenger shuttle. Titan rockets were destroyed over Vandenburg Air Force base.
*The Chernobyl incident was thought to have arisen through a scalar accident.
*The Arrow DC-8 downed in Gauder, Newfoundland was felt to be the victim of zero wave devices.
*Ships reported findings at sea that were suspected to be tests of giant missile shields.
*Airline pilots made reports of occurences belived to be cold explosions.
*Remote areas of Australia were felt to be used by the Russians and friendly nations as a test target.
*Microwaves resulting from scalar devices were implicated in heath problems developed by U.S. embassy personnel.
*A massive earthquake centered in the Great Lake region and involving 10 states was felt to have been precipitated by earthquake weapons.
*Scalar "deathray" devices were tested on Soviet Hind helicopters in Afhghanistan. To cover-up such usage, the helicopters also dropped gas cannisters. However, the witnessed deaths occured instantaneously...that is not a characteristic of gas attacks.
Mr. Windham discounted rumors that scalar weapons had been used to soften the metal in the Twin Towers before the impact of the passenger aircraft.
The suspected use longitudinal wave EM technology by other countries, terrorist groups, and crime syndicates was also discussed. As an example, TWA flight 800 was felt to have been brought down by the Yakuza and Aum Shinrikyo. Six Russian ammunition dumps at widely separated areas had been detonated in quick succession, an act that clearly informed the Russians that they were not alone in harnassing the energies of the vacuum.
"It is not merely poetic license to call scalr technology a double-edge sword of near unlimited power." Mr. Windham was winding down his part of the presentation. "The gates to hell incarnate have been opened by man's lust for power. No one considers the Russians to be madmen...they do not want to destroy the world, but rather want to conquer it. But, they know that with a single mistake, everybody could lose everything. The same goes for other sovereign nations." He stopped to wipe his brow.
"There are, as we now know, shadow groups with uncertain agendas. Some, no doubt, are funded by large nations who do not want to get their hands dirty...who don't want to get caught. They presumably will do as they are told. Others follow their own tune. Such groups may have no concern whatsoever for world safety...they are loose cannons of unknown destructive potential."
Sousuke looked over at the faces of his two comrades. Both Kurz' and Melissa's faces looked as if they had been carved from stone. He hadn't heard a single quip from Kurz. There had not been the slightest act of physical intimidation from Melissa.
Mr. Windham finished off his talk. The TDD-1's pastor stepped to the podium for a few closing words.
"As I understand things, the accidental misuse of the weapons discussed here today could lead to changes in the Sun that could end life on earth. The biblical prophecy of mankind being wiped out by fire and brimstone from the heavens could well become a reality." Many people in the audience bowed their heads, thinking of the vast dangers at hand.
"We stand upon the cusp of a great dilemma. We live in a wantonly irreligious age. People in this age tend to regard themselves as wiser than those of earlier ages, but what does all of our knowledge mean? We have learned much, but might not truly understand just what it all means. We here on this wondrous ship should not forget that there are things beyond the realm of science and technology. None of us here will ever be able to distill consciousness, beauty, love, or affection from any of our technological wonders. There are things that exist that science has no answer for, has no way to measure. And yet, science has become the opiate of the masses." The pastor lead the room in prayer before giving his closing thoughts.
"In the coming struggle, we must all rely on more than just the machines and weapons at our disposal. We must put our hope in things that cannot be measured, cannot be completely explained. We need to have faith. We need to follow our hearts. We need to fight for all that is good and for evrything that we hold dear...not merely strike out at that which we see as wrong or bad or unjust. We should not go forth merely to defend life...we should fight for the things that make our lives worth living. Don't be swallowed up with hate for those you see as evil. Fight for those that you love."
"I will leave you with a quote from Teilhard de Chardin:
Someday, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides, and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love. Then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."
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Sousuke looked through the books lining the shelves of the TDD-1s reading area. He hoped that no one had borrowed the book he was searching for.
Father O'Malley had spoken to Sousuke after the concepts briefing. He listened to the young man describe his concerns about the upcoming struggle and the weight that would fall on each warrior's shoulders. He took note of the terrible choices the AS pilot was faced with. He applauded the younger man's search for wisdom and personal understanding.
The pastor then offered Sousuke some thoughts from the proverbs of Solomon, son of David, King of Israel. He quoted from Chapter 11, stressing that the younger man should follow his heart in what he did, using his integrity as his guide. He quoted form Chapter 12, telling him that a fool will see his own ways as wise, while a wise man will seek out the advice of others. He also quoted from Chapter 24, exhorting his listener to trust in his own strength when he was faced with adversity.
He then caught Sousuke by surprise when he quoted an old Taoist proverb:
"No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see."
The pastor told Sousuke to find as much peace as he could before trying to work through his thoughts. Too much emotion might pervert or retard any insight he might hope to come upon. He recommended a book to Sousuke...a book that didn't hold any answers per se, but one which might cause Sousuke to think. He also thought---but did not say---that puzzling through the proverbs in the book might help distract the troubled young man...might help dull the pain of his strong emotions. That in itself my be the most important thing for him at the moment.
The book was the second to the last on the final shelf. It was an old collection of proverbs from different cultures, a haphazard collection that covered many different aspects of life.
Sousuke went to a storage cabinet in the room and removed a a pad of yellow lined paper and a pen. He read through the proverbs, writing down those that he might want to give thought to later:
@"Use Your Enemy's Hand To Catch a Snake" (Persian)
Sousuke thought about that proverb, coming up with something he would mention at the mission briefing if it were to go uncovered. Thought should be given to using the enemy's presence to counteract some of their own capabilities. Additionally, nations that had proven a thorn in the side of Mithril in the past would now be allies. It would be wise to send them into harms way when they were best suited for certain tasks.
@"A Man is Not Where He Lives, But Where He Loves" (Latin)
No surprise. Kaname came to mind. This would be one to write down on a specific piece of paper he set aside.
@"If You Chase Two Rabbits, You Will Catch Neither One" (Russian)
Kaname, again. And Tessa.
@"When You Want To Test The Depth of A Stream, Don't Use Both Feet" (Chinese)
That spoke to him of the perils of rash thought and action. It made sense not only in battle, but also in his assessment of his own feelings and decisions.
@"If a Man is Destined To Drown, He Will Drown Even In a Spoonful of Water" (Yiddish)
Sousuke wasn't certain what he belived about destiny. But he did know that if something was going to happen, it made no sense to run from it, or to attempt to hide.
@"Love is Like Dew That Falls On Both Nettles and Lilies" (Swedish)
Definitely a Kaname thought. He wrote that down. He added "and Halisens."
@"You Can't Wake A Person Who Is Pretending To Be Asleep" (Navajo)
That one sounded somehow profound, but he couldn't puzzle out an immediate useful message. He scribbled it down for future contemplation.
@"You Have To Do Your Own Growing No Matter How Tall You Grandfather Was (Irish)
That no doubt had to do with the need to do things for yourself. He also thought about his success during recent missions. He decided that it would be unwise to get overconfident, or to rely on tricks and stategems he had devised for those encounters. This mission should be treated as if it was his first. And as if it may well be his last.
@"He Who Wants A Rose Must Respect The Thorn" (Persian)
Kaname again. Add it to the list.
@"We Never Know The Worth Of Water Until The Well Is Dry" (French)
That could be applied to many things. Nothing should be taken for granted. Not peace. Not freedom. Not even life in general. And not Kaname.
@"Even A Clock That Doesn't Work Is Right Twice A Day" (Polish)
For the fist time that day, Sousuke grinned. There WAS some hope for him after all.
@"When Love Is Not Madness, It Is Not Love" (Spanish)
How old was that one? How could they have known Kaname. He grinned again as he wrote that one down
@"By Asking For The Impossible, We Often Obtain he Best Possible" (Italian)
That one caught Sousuke a hard one across the jaw. That rang so true. In life. In battle. Maybe even in a relationship. Maybe in the battle to save the life of one's partner in a relationship.
@"All Things Good To Know Are Difficult To Learn" (Greek)
Reassuring. Enlightening. Inspring.
@"He Who Is Afraid Of A Thing Gives It Power Over Him" (Morrocan)
Very true!!! He could afford to be concerned and worried. He must not let his fear rule him!
@"The Crow That Mimics The Cormorant Is Dead" (Japanese)
Yes. He could ask for advice. Ask for assistance. But he would need to find his own answers from it all. His own path.
@"Don't Fall Before You Are Pushed" (English)
Don't make unnecesary errors. Don't give into despair before all options have been tried. Don't let himself become too limited by sorrow too soon.
@"An Army Of Sheep Led By A Lion Would Defeat An Army Of Lions Led By A Sheep" (Arab)
That was a must! He would lead his squad with the spirit of a Lion. He should NOT let the knowledge of just how much was at stake stay his hand or slow his mind. Not in the fight to save the world as he knew it. Not in the quest to save Kaname. That was definitely a keeper. He might also have the graphics department make him up some lion's head decals.
@He Who Knows Nothing Doubts Nothing" (Brazilian)
His doubts and his search for answers were a good thing. Not a sign of weakness. Not a flaw.
@"Be Not Afraid Of Growing Slowly, Be Afraid Of Standing Still" (Chinese)
That was true. He had learned that himself over the past few months. He had gleaned that from his countless questions about his place in the world. It could also be applied to his relationship with Kaname. He wouldn't rush himself, or her.
@"Never Ask God To Give You Anything, Ask Him To Put You Where Things Are" (Mexican)
Sousuke understood the underlying premise. He also bent it for his own purpose. Regarding Kaname's rescue. And who should be in charge of it. It helped increase his confidence in his current course of action.
@"The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had No Tears" (Native American)
Another one written down for future digestion. Some good things required a struggle. Positive things could come from difficult situations.
@"There Is Nothing Noble In Being Superior To Someone Else. The True Nobility Is Being Superior To Your Previous Self" (Hindu)
That one said a mouthful. He wished he had stumbled upon that one a number of months ago. He would write this one down for Kaname to read someday. After he hid her halisen. And the kitchen utensils. Other sharp, heavy, or swingable objects. Furniture?
@"Care, And Not Fine Stables, Makes A Good Horse" (Danish)
Yes. Another one to read to Kaname. Or, at least to consider. Kaname might use that one to justify treating him like a horse!
@"Be Happy While You Are Living, For You Are A Long Time Dead" (Scottish)
Sousuke grinned again. Trust a Scotsman to speak thes obvious. But, it was true. So true. And he was often guilty of overlooking the simplest of things.
@"A Hero Is One Who Knows How To Hang On For A Minute Longer" (Norwegian)
That one was worth another decal. No, two decals. One for the Arbalest. One for his apartment window. It would come in handy at times of iminent halisen launch. He chuckled briefly, the sound dying quickly when he realized he was talking as if Kaname's rescue was a forgone conclusion. He raised an eyebrow when he realized how many times he had thought about Kaname's halisen. He should have started another column on his paper. '# times thought lovingly about Kaname' vs. '# times thought of halisen.' The numbers might be telling.
@"A Sparrow In The Hand Is Better Than A Dove On Your Roof." (German)
Sousuke would need to keep his thoughts and plans practical. In battle. And afterwards. It made no sense to dream up plans that had little chance of success.
@"Love Cannot Grow Without Passion" (Greek)
Kaname again. Passion. He had to wonder about himself sometimes. Had the passion been burned out of him as a child? Was he somehow holding it back unconsciously? Could he open the gate himself? Could Kaname? Someone else? Again, putting the horse before the cart.
@"It Is Not The Horse That Draws The Cart, But The Oats" (Russian)
There, horses again. And carts. It was wise to look at the full picture and not jump to conclusions. It was good to see the function of even the smallest part...the simplest weapon...the most unexpected person. He would need to do more thinking later, to strip himself down to his innermost motivations.
@"Don't Run Too Far, You Have To Come Back The Same Distance" (Biblical)
That one would be fruitful later on. Was he running too far to chase Kaname, in case he couldn't catch her, or if might fail in bringing her back? Or was he still running too far from his own feelings? There was also a message in there about overstepping one's bounds, about being too caught up in the tides of war. He would have to give this one some thought.
@"The Hammer Shatters Glass, But Forges Steel" (Russian)
Things can have more than one use, more than one effect. Love can break one's heart...or make one much stronger. Or so he had been told. Which would he find? A more painful parallel came to mind. Arbalest could shatter Kaname, in order to help forge a safer world. He couldn't let that thought run wild...he'd wrestled it down many times already. He couldn't just try to cut off the thought, as it grew more heads than the hydra. He would have to burn it away with the fires of truth and reason.
@"Wait Until The Night To Say It's A Good Day" (French)
That carried a lot of significance, both for the upcoming battle and for his attempts at relationship building.
@"If You Let Everyone Walk Over You, You Will Become A Carpet" (Bulgarian)
Sousuke blushed at that one. He usually did not let ANYONE walk all over him. With one notable exception. At least she kept her feet clean! Perhaps he would need to put more thought into this one if he and Kaname both survived.
@"Don't Push The River, It Will Flow By Itself" (Polish)
True. Very true. He needed to rely on patience and appropriate restraint. He did not need to waste his energy in needless pursuits. He did not need to go overboard with self-examination.
@"Love rules without rules" (Italian)
Ah. That would make things more difficult than he thought. Sousuke liked rules and established doctrine. Then again, there is great freedom in a lack of rules. Well, he would need to check with Kaname to see if that was acceptable.
@"He Who Seeks A Friend Without Faults Goes Without" (Turkish)
Another decal! Multiple copies. If he returned to Tokyo before Kaname, she would find that decal on her desk at school...on her mirror...on her refrigerator...Sousuke stopped to reconsider. That might lead to hits by the halisen on his head...his back...his limbs...anywhere Kaname could reach. No. It would be worth it. Fortune favors the brave!
@"You'll Never Plow A Field By Turning It Over In Your Mind" (Irish)
True. Thinking had its place...but it would come down to doing. Soon enough.
@"Patience is a Tree Whose Root Is Bitter But Whose Fruit Is Sweet" (Canadian)
Another thought to scribble down. Another decal for Kaname.
@"A Man Thinks He Knows, But A Woman Knows Better" (Chinese)
Uh! No decal. Absolutely NO DECAL! He would have to reconsider writing this one down. It probably didn't matter any way...it seems that Kaname must have read it somewhere already.
@"Beyond The Mountains Are Mountains Again" (Haitian)
Indeed. A good point to remember. There are always more struggles in life. Always more missions. Always more halisens. But also, more kisses, when things go well. Sousuke was used to the rocky path, the peaks and the valleys. For some reason, that thought made him blush for a brief moment.
@"Pearls Do Not Lie On The Seashore. If Thou Desirest One, Thou Must Dive For It" (Chinese)
That one was self evident. He needed to work for whatever he wanted. Answers. Relationships. Rescues.
@"A Man Chases A Woman Until She Catches Him (American)
Oh. Possibly so. It would not serve him well to ever get his hopes too high. Perhaps he needed to work on being a better catch? How? Now was not the time to worry about this!!!
@"Every Seed Knows Its Time" (Russian)
Yes. There was no denying that any longer. He had to go forward in life. He remembered his talk with Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin back when he had recieved the infamous homework assignment. Also, in a sense, Mithril had planted Sousuke. The environment he had been surrounded by was the soil. His training and prior missions had been the water. To get him ready for this mission. Before time ran out. For many things.
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Sousuke thought back to his return from the Chechen mission.
The flight in the helicopter could not go quickly enough for him. The battle had beem successful, but harrowing. The combat had been fierce, but the outcome seemed predetermined. On the other hand, the threat of a small scale nuclear catstrophe had been very real, and quick decisions had been necessary to save the lives of everyone within the blast radius of the pirated tactical devices.
His mind had been focused, in that he did not think of Kaname during the involved portions of his mission. During the quiet moments, however, he thought back to their last moments together. She had been frightened. He could offer no reassurances. They had no way of knowing if or when he might return. She had been very respectful, had made him the center of all they had said and done in those moments alone. He had told her that she was someone worth coming back to, and that only death could stop him. She said that she knew that he would always come back for her.
He willed the copter to move faster. The sooner he reached the TDD-1, the sooner he could be debriefed...the sooner he was debriefed, and the sooner he could begin the series of flights that would bring him back to Tokyo...bring him back to Kaname.
When the helicopter was snug aboard the submarine, and his feet first touched the deck, he almost immediately got the sense that something was wrong. People were waiting to talk with each member of the Special Response Team, and Sousuke watched as Melissa's, Kurz', Sgt. Xiao's, and other team members' faces fell as they were told some fact or bit of news. Had something happened since they had left? Had a nuclear device been overlooked? Had they committed some great mistake?
An aide walked up to Sousuke. She would not tell him what the situation was, but rather informed him that he needed to meet with Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin immediately. What could this all mean?
He walked into his commanding officer's quarters and was immediately asked to take a seat. Kalinin's voice was hard, cold. The tone reminded Sousuke of the weather during his arctic mission...frigid enough to shatter steel.
"Sergeant, let me first congratulate you on a mission well done. The world is in you debt, as is a sizeable indigenous population. I wish I could allow you time to rest and recuperate, but the current situation does not permit that." He tented his hands, and looked at Sousuke, no trace of any paternal feelings audible or visible.
The Lt. Cmdr. gave Sousuke a capsular summary of the new threat, telling him that future briefings would provide further details. "The crucial detail in this entire situation is, of course, the abduction of Whispered. Should they provide the solutions sought after, the world would be in terrible peril." Before he continued, Kalinin looked Sousuke directly in the eyes, his own face twitching ever so slightly.
"Sgt. Sagara, both Captain Testarossa and Kaname Chidori were among those taken." The words hung in the air like unexploded ordinance. There was no way, however, to defuse the situation. Sousuke's greatest fears were confirmed.
"Sir." It was what he needed to say for military courtesy. It was the only word he could squeeze out at that moment.
"I take it you understand the gravity of the situation, sergeant?" Kalinin's question was clearly rhetorical. "This is not merely a matter that could adversly affect every living person on this planet...this may well determine whether or not there continues to be any life on this world. Now. Or ever."
"I understand, Sir."
"As I expected you would. This mission is bigger than Mithril. We will be sending out three teams, augmented by members of the armed forces of other soverign nations. The numbers in these groups may not be overly large, but they will be supported by whatever resources the free nations of the globe can offer at the appointed places and the appropriate time. Combined naval, ground, and air operations are in the planning stages as we speak." Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin watched Sousuke's face and body, seeing no outward signs of desperation or lack of composure.
"We have been able to track the kidnapped individuals by a means I shall not disclose. Currently, it appears that they are being held at three separate sites. We can not be certain whether this is because they are unaware of our ability to pinpoint their location, or whether it is a sign of the confidence they hold in their defenses. We are strongly hoping for the former."
"As it now stands, Mithril will send team members to each of the sites. Captain Testarossa is at one site. Kaname Chidori is at another. The young woman you once rescued is at a third. Others are present at each site, as well. You have the option of a choice, sergeant. Can you see where this is leading?" Kalinin was pretty certain that Sousuke would be aware of the necesary points.
"Sir, I believe I understand. Do you wish to hear my analysis?" He continued after Kalinin nodded his head.
"First, we should proceed as if each and every Whispered held the key information sought after."
"Correct." Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin affirmed.
"Second, we must also consider the strong possibility that none of the kidnapped individuals will have such knowledge."
"Also correct."
"Third, we need assume that any Whispered individual still living has not been examined and has not been found lacking in desired knowledge."
"Yes."
"Fourth, we must take whatever measures are necessary to prevent the potential transfer of hazardous information. Mithril will make all possible effort to rescue the Whispered...but will not hesitate to destroy those missing individuals if rescue is not possible." Sousuke's lip twitched slightly.
"Regretably true. Fully necessary."
"Fifth, you are asking me if I can pull the trigger on Miss Chidori if it is required of me." Sousuke's eyes had gone completely cold.
"Yes. That is the most crucial bit of information I need from you at this time. If the answer is 'no,' then you would be the last person I would send to rescue Miss Chidori and those with her."
'If the answer is 'yes,' I can assign you with relative confidence to that precise mission. Your feelings for Miss Chidori, if kept in check, might make you the ideal man to send after her. You would no doubt go the extra mile to save her, and that might be a critical factor, as long as you can be completely certain that you would not hesitate when the moment came. There may be no second chances." His piercing stare was that of a raptor focused on a coney.
"I would be capable of doing so, Sir. I would not wish things to be so, but I am quite capable of dealing with any necessity. I would do so with love, compassion, and respect." The answer was as truthful as it was painful.
"I thought as much, sergeant. And I am offering you the choice of missions, with the caveat that the choice can still be nullified if the Intellience Departments determines that Arbalest will be uniquely suited for a specific role."
"Understood, Sir. Do I have time to think over my decision?"
"Yes, you have one day for your final anwer. I would be interested in your initial decision, in case matters arise that prompt immediate action."
"I would request permission to lead the team sent out to rescue Miss Chidori and her companions." A flash of life reappeared in Sosuke's eyes.
"Granted, sergeant. We will consider that to be the case unless I hear otherwise from you before the final leadership meeting tomorrow evening. In your thoughts tonight, I would like you to keep one thing in mind."
"Sir?"
"I do not believe what Stalin said was true. He said 'The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of a million is a statistic.' I believe that the death of a milion men is one million tragedies rolled into one."
"Yes, Sir!"
Lt. Cmdr, Kalinin did not give any clue to whether or not he realized how disconcerting his final statement would be:
"Sergeant, I am also to inform you that you are to meet with Commander Mardukas at the top of the hour. Dismissed."
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Sousuke remembered his meeting with another superior officer.
To say that Sousuke and Cmdr. Mardukas did not get along would be an understatement of staggering proportions. Sousuke did not fear may things, did not find too many situations more stressful than he could handle. But, for whatever reason, Sousuke felt unbelievably tense and ill at ease around the TDD-1's executive officer.
Perhaps that was due to the older man's seemingly unbridled dislike of Sousuke. And that may stem from what Cmdr. Mardukas viewed as Captain Testarossa's improper fascination with the young sergeant.
Trying to will himself at peace, Sousuke rapped smartly on the Commander's door.
"Enter!"
"Sergeant Sousuke Sagara, reporting as ordered, Sir!" Sousuke's always instinctually behaved as militarily proper as possible around Cmdr. Mardukas.
"At ease, soldier. I take it that you have met with Kalinin?"
"That is correct, Sir!" Slight beads of sweat had already formed on Sousuke's brow. The older man noticed and grinned a razor straight line in return.
"Did he offer you a choice of missions?" He made it sound as if that had been a mistake. He did not blink.
"Yes, Sir. I told him I chose---" Sousuke was interupted.
"Sergeant, I have no wish to hear your choice at this time. That information you may keep to yourself. I will be more interested in your choices after you have had sufficient time to think. I merely wish to provide you with some facts to consider." Cmdr. Mardukas made it sound as if he was going to provide unassailable facts, and by implication, a simple awareness of what the only correct choice could be.
"As you wish, Sir!"
"First, let me say that I am aware of your feelings for the young Japanese girl, Miss Chidori. I will say that I approve of such closeness to your charge only as far as it diffuses any interest you may have in someone who should be even less attainable." He did not have to mention Tessa's name. He frowned a deep frown, and the furrows of his brow looked as if they might carve a mark into his skull.
"However, beyond that, person feelings have no place in guard duty, sergeant. They have even less of a place in battle. Especially this battle. A British general---Archibald Wavel---once said 'There is no room in war for delicate machinery.' No doubt you can see his point. I will take it a step further. There is no room in war for delicate feelings and emotions. Do you understand my point?"
"I understand your point of view!" Sousuke answered. He clearly did not mean to say that he agreed completely with Cmdr. Mardukas' point. The older warrior saw that, and was very displeased.
"Sergeant, I hope you give thought to what I say. This is not about a difference of opinions among two men...this is about ensuring the safety of our Captain. More importantly, this is about doing our utmost to make certain that there is always a tomorrow!!!" The Commander was gripping his chair arms ever so subtly.
"Yes, Sir."
"As I said, whether I judge them appropriate or NOT, I can understand your feelings. What I must stress is that you need to put aside your feelings, no matter how difficult a task that might be. Churchill said 'Kites rise highest against the wind.' You can prevail against adversity. You can prevail against emotions. That has been one of the things about you I have admired unconditionally." Cmdr. Mardukas reached for a small metal pitcher and two porcelain cups.
"Tea, sergeant?"
"Yes, Sir. If I may." Sousuke would need to be certain that the older man did not see his hand tremble when he held his cup.
"I am certain you are privy to many of my opinions of you. I will restate them just the same." He poured Sousuke a cup of tea, and then himself. "You are young for a soldier, and you are reckless. Sugar?" He offered Sousuke a small covered bowl of sugar.
"No thank you, Sir."
"I am not the only one, sergeant, who thinks you take too many chances. There are others who are also of the opinion that you overstep the bounds of propriety and military ediquette. Lemon?"
"Yes sir, if you please."
"I suppose none of us should be surprised by these facts, as you were raised in a rough environment. That, and you have been paired with Sgt. Weber and Sgt. Major Mao. Would you care for a bisquit? Jam?" He removed a tin of imported bisquits from his desk, and two small jars of jam: plum and apricot. His opinion of the sweet fruit preserves counterbalanced his personal feelings towrads Kurz and Melissa.
"A bisquit would be very nice, Sir!" Sousuke thanked his superior officer for the delicacy. In accepting the plate, he looked up on the walls of the room surrounding him. A picture of the Queen was there. She appeared to be looking at Sousuke with a barely concealed look of disdain.
Cmdr. Mardukas slathered apricot jam on a biscuit, looking at the morsel with the same gaze a leopard gives a young boar.
"It is very fortunate for us all---yourself included---that you are an exceptional pilot. As you yourself must be aware, your technique remains rough around the edges. In spite of this, you always bring results. You succeed even where more experienced pilots fail." Cmdr, Mardukas almost sounded as if such a success was a personal affront. The bisquit gave into its master.
"Sir."
"But do not let that go to your head! There is always room for improvement. And it is imperative that you do not rest on past laurels!" A bite of bisquit, four chews, and a swallow.
"I understand, Commander."
"I truly hope so, sergeant! It is necessitous that you take time and think things through, thouroughly. Another quote from Churchill is appropriate: 'Men occasionaly stumble over the truth, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing has happened.' There is no room for emotional blindness." Mardukas finished off his biquit and followed it with a sip of tea. He sighed happily, briefly. Another one with plum would serve well.
"Sir"
"You have been informed about the critical role played by the Whispered in this crisis, sergeant?" The question was clearly rhetorical.
"Yes, Sir. I have."
"Good. You should keep the following in mind. Any of the Whispered could potentially hold the information that is being sought. It is by that consideration, an obvious necessity to save anyone we can...and to eradicate anyone we cannot." He paused for a bite of bisquit and a sip of tea. He wiped the corner of his mouth with a napkin.
"As we have agreed on that point, we may proceed on to the next. There are those among the Whispered who are more important to save than others. There are those who play a much greater role in advancing good works than others. Can we agree on this, at least in theory, sergeant?"
"I can understand your point, Sir."
"Excellent. Rather good, indeed. You should therefore be able to reach an indisputable conclusion. The most crucial Whispered to save is Captain Testarossa."
Sousuke remained silent. Cmdr, Mardukas waited for a reply, finishing off his second bisquit and his cup of tea.
"Are we of a different opinion, sergeant?" The older gentleman did not leave any uncertainty about the inadvisability of such.
"Sir, I completely understand Captain Testarossa's significance." Sousuke hoped that his answer would suffice.
Cmdr. Mardukas did not look completely satisfied, but he well understood the concept of partial victories. "That will do then, sergeant. You may go and ponder your decisions."
After his dismissal, Sousuke opened the door and prepared to leave.
"Oh...and sergeant..." Mardukas began his final remark. "I must compliment you. Your coversational skills have improved remarkably!"
*************************************************************
Sousuke's thoughts were still jumbled. He was pretty certain what he wanted to do, but Cmdr. Mardukas' argument was cogent, in a sense. He had knocked that thesis down a number of times already, but it kept getting back up on its feet. He grit his teeth, and tried to see deep inside himself, making certain he would't be manipulated by anything that the Commander had said or implied.
Should Sousuke follow his heart, and lead an attack to save the woman he cared for the most, believing that his feelings for her would provide him extra motivation...not wanting to entrust her rescue to anyone else?Or should he place his hope in the hands of his fellow soldiers, trusting that they could rescue Kaname while he fought to save one of Mithril's greatest assets? Was his current prefence the best because it was true to his thought? Or was it questionable, because it reeked of selfishness?
Two seasoned veterans---each with vast experience in battle and in life---each had opposing views. Well, that was not exactly true. Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin was open to either possibility, and had wisely left Sousuke to find his own truth. Sousuke certainly appreciated the freedom, but it made the responsibility all that more weighty.
Reading thebook on proverbs had certainly settled his mind some, and helped him gain more confidence in his decision. To believe with certainty, one must start with doubt. Or so one proverb had said. He had done that; but now, he needed help in removing as much doubt as possible.
He decided it was time to talk with Sgt. Major Mao and Sgt. Weber. He smiled inwardly for a brief moment: perhaps the best course of action was to find out what Kurz would do...and then do the opposite!!!
The knock on Melissa's door was followed by a loud series of curses, as well as a momentous metallic crash. Beer cans rolled out into the hallway as the door opened, a thin trail of beer left behind in a curious fractal shape.
Sousuke's first impression was that of a thick fog, the type that people are apt to say can be cut with a knife. Soon after that, a battering ram of odor knocked him backward, his eyes watering in the cigarette smoke. As the fog cleared some, he noticed Melissa standing in the doorway, a beer in her hand. Behind her, Kurz was building replicas of the great Egyptian pyramids out of empties. One wonder of the world had collapsed, thanks to Melissa's boot.
"Well...S-Sergeant S-Soukse...come to join the party? What took you so f@cking long?" Melissa sounded somewhat drunk...she must have had a lot to drink.
"Yeh...Sous ole boy...come in and down a few with the Kurzster and Sgt. Major Babe!!!" Kurz sounded the worse for wear too. It seems Sousuke was not the only one with things waying extra heavy on his mind.
Kurz tossed Sousuke a full six pack. Sousuke noted that Kurz had a lit cigarette in his mouth. Kurz hated cigarettes! Two opened boxes of powdered and cinnamon donuts sat near his one hand. Powder was all over his chin.
"I have too much to think about now to be drinking. I would have thought that the same would be true for you two!" Sousuke understood the concern they must be feeling, but now was not the time for self-indulgence. His voice sounded more arrogant than he had intended.
Sousuke found himself grasped firecely by his collar, moments before he was swung around and sent tumbling into the aluminum Cheops marvel. "Shit...not again" he heard Kurz moan.
As he was picking himself up, Sousuke felt a kick to his abdomen. When he looked up, Melissa stood looking down at him. "What makes you so f@ckin' high and mighty, Sousuke! Who the f@ck do you think you are, trying to tell me how to face my pain!" Melissa had a point. "I'll be ready in time for tomorrow's introductions, and for the briefing. Why don't you mind your own goddamn business!"
"Ooh...babe...you look so sexy when you're angry!" That, of course, was Kurz. When Melissa looked ready to smash him into a small greasy stain, he said "Please Melissa...go ahead...I'm certain it will make both of us feel better." There wasn't a shred of humor in his voice. Kurz with a flat voice was a noteworthy thing.
"I apologize, Sgt. Major. You are correct. I was very intent on my business, and I suppose I was being selfish in my anger. I had come here for advice, and couldn't believe that you would be drunk at such a time. I did not take your feelings into strong enough consideration. I shall return later." Sousuke turned to leave. Something very rare happened then.
Two things, actually. Melissa pulled him roughly into an embrace...a small number of tears in her eyes. "It's OK, Sousuke. I understand. You face the same losses we do, but you are the only one carrying the burden of choice."
The look in Kurz' eyes was sympathy, not jealousy.
"I do not wish to insult you, Sgt. Major, but I do not understand why you are this depressed. Tessa and Kaname have been taken hostage before, and the world has faced many perils. You are one of the strongest people I know, and it confuses me to see you like this." Sousuke's look was truly puzzled.
"I'm exhausted, Sousuke. We all are. On top of that, we find our friends gone. A one-two punch." Melissa released Sousuke and stepped back. "I know I should be optimistic, but I have a very bad feeling about this. There is a good chance that Tessa will die. And if I go after her, there is a good chance that I will be the one who kills her." Melissa crushed a near full bear can, sending beer guysering into the air.
"And, if I go after Kaname, and have to kill her...how can I face you, Sousuke? How can I face you after you kill Tessa? She's my friend, Sousuke!" She threw the can down, suddenly angered at her emotions.
"Me too, Sousuke." Kurz faced the same difficulties that his two companions faced. "I've laughed with both of them. I'd die for either one. What if I have to put them in my crosshairs and pull the trigger? How could I come back here? What would everything mean after that?" Kurz picked up a donut, looked at it, then placed it back in the box. "I usually feel like joking, Sousuke. But, not today."
Sousuke came here in hope of finding confidence. Instead, he found that his friends were facing the same demons he was. There was solace in that, but the stark realization eroded his confidence. If Melissa and Kurz were this worried, shouldn't he be? Could his personal insights be off target?
Sousuke spoke very assuredly at that moment, surprsing even himself. "Yes, we all care for them both. Just as we care for each other. Any of us may die. But can we only look at OUR loss? Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin told me that Stalin had said that one loss was a tragedy, but that a million was a statistic. He then told me that he believes the loss of a million would be one million tragedies. If we succeed, but our friends die...perhaps we will not be able to look each other in the eyes...but there will be millions of people who would wish to know our faces."
Melissa and Kurz stared at Sousuke for a moment, as if he had suddenly grown two pairs of horns. Melissa spoke first, wiping away tears, looking more like the usual Melissa. "Yes, Sousuke. I know. But that doesn't take away the pain. The fear." She fell to the floor into a sitting position, kicking some beer cans out of the way. "So, you came here for advice, huh? Big mistake!"
"I do not think so. But, I will do this. I will tell you what I have heard, and see what you think." Sousuke told of his discussions with Kalinin and Mardukas. He mentioned his coversation with Father O'Malley. He also showed Kurz and Melissa the item he was carrying...his notepad. "I will will read you the proverbs I wrote down."
Before Sousuke could speak any further, Kurz showed a small spark of life. "I hope you have the answer to this one, Solomon. Why did kamikazee pilots wear helmets?"
"Shut up Kurz! Go on Sousuke." Melissa's anger blew away a few small clouds of depression.
Sousuke read his notes to his two companions. Melissa was visibly shaken when he mentioned the one about a hero being someone who could hold on longer. She hung her head a moment, looking somewhat chastened. The same went for Kurz, but he was more touched by the proverb about reaching for the impossible.
Sousuke went on to describe his thoughts and feelings, asking his squad mates what they thought. Asking them what THEY would choose to do if they were given the choice.
"I'll tell you what I think, sergeant" Melissa said, her eyes bright. "Kaname is a very lucky girl. Lucky she has you. Lucky I'm not a number of years younger. I think I'll have a talk with her when she gets back. That will be the favor I owe her!" She punched Sousuke playfully in the shoulder.
"Yeh!" Kurz said. "The toddler comes looking for food and cooks dinner for his parents. He's such a good boy! Well missus, we should tuck him in bed and get down to making him a sister!" Kurz was joking. That was a notable thing at that moment, so Melissa let him remain pain free. "See you later, Sousuke old boy...come back any time you like. Just don't bother knockin' if the floor is rockin'!!! Oh, yeh!"
Melissa's instincts got the better of her compassion. Landing on his head, Kurz was glad that he hadn't fallen on the donuts.
"Seriously, Sousuke...thanks. I think that will help." Sousuke didn't know if she meant Kurz' involuntary backflip, or his own inspiration. "You sound like you are following your heart, and it sounds like your head agrees. What more can you ask for? Don't worry about Mardukas. He's good at what he does---and he means what he says--- but he won't be out there with us. He won't have his hand on any trigger that up close and personal. Kalinin trusts you, and so do I."
"Me too!" Kurz added, munching on a donut, his shirt covered with powder. He picked up another donut and held it up to his eye. "Don't think too much, though. Don't miss the donut by looking through the hole!"
"Shut up Kurz!!!" Another reflex from Melissa.
"Babe, you hurt me!" Kurz was making his way back to his old self. He thought his suggestion was clever.
"That comes later. And you can thank Sousuke that I am getting my spirit back." Melissa gave Sousuke a quick squeeze. She was still very down, but Sousuke was less concerned now.
"Traitor!" Kurz said to Sousuke, pelting him with donut fragments.
Sousuke looked at Kurz, then Melissa. Then Kurz again. It seemed that his words had somehow made a difference. There was a subtle truth expressed by their reactions. No one had offered him astounding wisdom or advice, but he felt better himself at that moment.
"Of course...we weren't feeling bad to begin with" Kurz said, laughing quietly. He had correctly judged Sousuke's look. "That was just part of my brilliant plan. Oh yeh!"
"SHUT...UP...KURZ!" The volume was louder than anyone might have expected. Both Sousuke and Melissa had spoken at the same time.
Kurz grumbled, throwing more donut at Sousuke. Some hit Melissa. She just sat there. THAT was truly worrisome. Kurz would make sure to leave before Sousuke did.
"As for choices, Sousuke, you can probably guess mine." Melissa ground out her cigarette, took out another.
"Tessa?" Sousuke asked.
"Yes" Melissa answered. "She's my bud, and I owe her that. Just as you owe Kaname. And, I could probably face myself better than I could face either of you two, if one of us was forced to take her out."
The wording hit Sousuke hard in the gut. It had only been a few weeks ago that he had taken Tessa out. She had begun to be his friend. A lot of opportunities had been lost.
"But, don't let my preference influence you, Sousuke. Do what you feel you must do. Tessa means more to you now than before, doesn't she?" Melissa wasn't talking love. Sousuke knew that. Kurz, respecting the seriousness of the conversation, remained silent.
"Yes," Sousuke said, undoubting. "Much more. If it were not for Kaname, I would go for Tessa, if I were still given the choice."
Melissa nodded her head. "Good. I figure she will be in good hands, whichever of us goes. I suppose we need to hope for the better, while preparing for the worst. I should also add, that it does not look like the three of us will be together, regardless of what you choose, Sousuke."
"Why is that, Sis?" Kurz asked, using a donut to mop some beer off of the floor.
"I am not certain, but I have gotten hints that there is another Arbalest prototype. If that's true, I have the sense that I will be the one assigned to it. My guess is that the mission planners would want lambda driver technology at as many sites as possible.
Sousuke's emotions were mixed. It would be liberating to have another ARX-7. He would not be called for every mission needing advanced technology. But, he also felt a small stab of jealousy. Part of him liked the exclusive nature of his AS. He felt unique himself sometimes...it only made sense that his Arm Slave should be unique as well. No matter.
"Sgt. Major...Melissa" Sousuke thought of Tessa, and her efforts to bring less formality between them. Melissa raised an eyebrow and smiled. "You mentioned introductions?"
"Yes...listen up Kurz, this will effect you too." Melissa frowned, seeing Kurz hold a donut up to each ear. "Our teams will be fighting closely with select individuals from various armies. They will come here for briefing, but will be launched or disembarked from their own vessels. We are expected to get to know them as well as possible, as we will be working closely with them in battle."
"I see...that is good...it may be that they brings things we do not know or do not have. It shall be good to meet other warriors." Sousuke was sincere and upbeat.
"I was certain you'd feel that way, Sousuke." Melissa nodded her head.
"Oh yeh! There's a chance some of them might be babes! This'll be a great chance to make Melissa jealous. Maybe I can break some hearts after the mission!" Kurz started juggling donuts.
Melissa, her aim as good as ever, knocked each donut out of the air with a beer can. All except the fourth donut, which fell to the floor when the last can hit Kurz in the forehead. "Oh, damn! I missed..." Melissa's smile spoke the truth her tongue would not.
Souske grinned. Things were getting better.
*************************************************************
Sousuke needed a break from thinking and planning. He stopped by the office that housed the Graphics division and other small groups. He picked up the items he had ordered that morning. He thanked the personnel warmly, impressed at their talents and their rapid turnaround time.
Walking across the hangar bay floor, he saw ghost images from the past: Kaname when she had been aboard, going on a tour with him...Tessa talking with Melissa and Kurz before their departure for Nowshera. Each had been smiling. That's the way he chose to think of them now. He didn't know yet where they were. There was no way he could know what they might be going through.
He stared up at Arbalest, its once pristine armor pitted and scraped in spots, despite refurbishing. The purple heart decal that the Chief Mechanic had presented him with was still in place, partially tattered and worn. Sousuke recalled the fight betwee Kaname and Tessa...the contest that followed...the night at the opera...the time at his apartment. His memories were somewhat tattered and worn as well. But, if things went well, perhaps everything could be touched up, almost as good as new. He sighed.
"Let me guess, Sonny...you been thinking again, ain't ya?" Bobo. He always seemed to turn up when Sousuke stood here deep in thought.
"Yes, Chief. Big time. Mighty big time." Sousuke's fondness for the man hadn't changed.
"Well...don't bother ever reminding me some day...but I can let it slide this time, Sonny. I figure you been hit somethin' hard, and all. It wasn't too long ago, you was here listenin' to me talk about cat fights. Now, some bastards done stole away both your cats!" Sousuke had never seen Bobo with such fire in his eyes. This was the first time he had seen the Chief mechanic enraged.
"Yes, Chief."
"I would take it as a personal favor, Sonny, if you could rip them kidnappers a new one. You get those pretty gals back, and you make that scum pay. You hear?" Bobo was too tense to spit or scratch.
"I will do my best."
"I don't doubt ya for a minute, Sonny. If I was a bettin' man, I'd wager we could drive a truck through them bastards when you're done with'em!" Bobo had enough spunk to spit now.
"Two trucks, Chief. Maybe three."
"Yes sirree! That's the spirit, boy! Whatcha got there?" Bobo saw the folder in Sousuke's hand.
Sousuke showed Bobo the Lion's head decals for the ARX-7. He told the Chief Mechanic of the proverb that inspired him. Sousuke mentioned some of the choices he faced, and told of the personal journey he was walking through.
"That's a real good saying, Sonny. Mighty good. And I don't doubt you're thinkin' hasn't hurt you too much yet. I got somethin' to add, that I heard from an old Cherokee buddy of mine long time back. You can see if it makes sense to ya." Bobo scratched himself, reminiscing.
Bobo spat, barely missing one of Sousuke's boots. "Laughing Bear was a strange one. Right strange! Strongest man I ever seen, but also the kindest. Born of the earth, and big with them mystical spirits, but probably the best damn mechanic I ever seen. He hated to drink, but was always the first to buy others a friendly round. His family, they had hard times. His land, it had seen better days."
Bobo's voice was rich with remembered sympathy. "He shoulda been hatin' everthin' and everybody. He didn't. He saw everythin' he looked at, and he could find the good in it. He heard everythin' said, and found what's right about it. He died too damn young, but he lived every day he had."
Sousuke waited quietly while Bobo paused, lost in a maze of bitter and sweet memories.
"There's a tale he told me once. I'll tell you now, Sonny. Just so you realize, it's tellin' not thinkin'!" He stared intensely at Sousuke, the beginning of a smile waking on his lips.
"Telling, Chief. I understand. No thinking."
"Damn straight, boy!" Bobo blew his nose on his shirt tail, and took up a storytelling stance, one hand on his hip, the other waving in the air.
"An old Indian was talkin' to his grandkids about life. He told 'em, there's a right big fight goin' on inside him. He said it was a real big fight. Worse then a cat fight. It was a fight between two wolves. You with me so far, Sonny?" Bobo spat.
"Yes, Chief. Wolves." Sousuke refrained from scratching his head. Wolves again.
"Damn right, wolves. One wolf was evil. He was all sort a bad things...fear...anger...regret...guilt...self-pity...lies...all that kinda stuff."
"The other wolf, he was good. Real good. He was stuff like peace...joy...happiness...trust...friendship...truth...faith. Yeh, the real fine stuff."
Bobo scratched, and looked Sousuke straight in the eyes. "You see where this is going, Sonny?"
"Not yet, Chief."
"Good to see you don't have all the answers. Wouldn't be nothin' to share with you if you did!" Bobo chuckled, sounding something like a diesel engine turning over.
"I agree."
"The Indian tells his grandkids that this fight is goin' on side each one of 'em. He tells 'em it goes on inside of EVERYONE. Them kids thought about it a while. Then they asked their grandpa, which wolf is gonna win?"
Bobbo paused, his big message coming.
He spat. Twice. And a third time for good measure.
"The old Indian said: The one you feed!" The Chief Mechanic looked, to see if Sousuke showed any signs of understanding.
"Yes" Sousuke said, his eyes poorly focused as he thought. "There is wisdom in that."
"Damn straight. Wouldn't waste my time tellin' it if there weren't." Bobo's laugh was jovial, rushing across the expanse of the hangar like a wave upon the shore
Sousuke noted that Bobo was standing by a number of large carts in front of the ARX-7. "Chief, what are those" He pointed at large bulky forms hidden by tarps.
"Oh...well Sonny, seems the Italians and folks from my country were feelin' a bit friendly like. They sent some new toys for your big metal friend there. For other folks, too. Gonna keep me and the boys busy a spell, I'm sure. They'll be tellin' you 'bout them later, I'll bet."
Sousuke thanked the older gentleman and headed back to his quarters. He was almost done with his thinking for the day, but had one thing more before he showered and hit his bed. He would write a letter to Kaname, one to leave for her in case she returned safely and he didn't. He would be brief and sincere with his feelings. He would share some thoughts he had worked through over the past day.
He felt his own mortaility strongly at that moment, for some reason. He would perservere. He knew which wolf to feed.
*************************************************************
End of part 2
Mr. Windham had returned to the TDD-1, bringing with him the American supposition that the group behind the Pakastani cabal and the group kidnapping Whispered were one in the same. It was the U.S. Intelligence community's opinion that the shadow organization had hoped to tie up more of the world's attention...not to mention the military capabilities of many nations...by starting a regional nuclear conflict between Pakistan and India. A not so secret 'secret treaty' might have dragged China into the conflict. When the world finally pulled itself away from the spreading catastrophe, it might be too late.
The intelligence operative gave details on the United State's knowledge of scalar weapons...their own, and those suspected to be in use by other nations: some friendly, some not.
Stalin had personally started the ball rolling, pushing the Soviet Union's scientific community down the path identified by Tesla's theories. They had been working diligently at the program ever since, at a scale far beyond that of the Manhattan project, both in manpower and resources, and in ultimate significance. The United States had not been without intelligence breakthroughs, even towards the beginning. However, no one wanted to believe the rumors...no one would take them seriously, except for theorists.
The Soviets took advantage of well known American national traits. The U.S. has always been slow to react to slowly developing threats. They often fell victim to the "Not Invented Here" syndrome. Many influential people in that country had held onto the mistaken idea that the Russians were just ignorant peasants. For a country that had precipitated Hiroshima and Nagasaki, they allowed themselves to remain blind to the power of technological breakthroughs.
Repeatedly, scientists brought warnings to the government and to high-ranking defense ministers. They were not believed. The only strong advocate had been President Reagan, but his hands were tied by unresponsive agencies. Amazing weapons had been developed by the Star Wars Initiative, but they were all useless in the face of scalar weaponry. Endoatmospheric interceptors. EM rail guns. Particle beam weapons. High energy nuclear pumped lasers. Directed energy radio-frequency devices. Extensive sensor networks. Enormous computer resources. All of those were completely vulnerable. All were useless against zero wave systems.
That U.S. president saw through the Russian rhetoric on Mutually Assured Destruction, suspecting that the Soviet Bloc possessed weapons far more capable than ABMs. He feared that his nation's nuclear arsenal was useless against the reported technology. Was useless, or some day would be so.
Worse yet, if the U.S. tried to use the nuclear triad to respond to the threat, their own missiles and their nuclear payloads could be used against them, detonated by the scalar weapons.
There was room for hope, despite all of the doom and gloom. The Russians had put enormous resources towards offensive uses, and towards defensive screens such as Tesla domes. The U.S. had started late in such areas and would not catch up any time soon. However, they had taken another tact. They had started extensive research into theories and mechanisms that could thwart the future threat, as it was currently projected. But, their work had not come to full fruit yet, and it did not take into account any discoveries that might lie within the amorphous realm of Black Technology.
The U.S. was not alone in its efforts or its successes. Bedini had created devices that are capable of disrupting the targeting capabilities of the Russian system. Other defences were in the works as well.
Sousuke drew attention to himself, slapping his own face hard to keep himself from dwelling on thoughts of Kaname and Tessa. Mr. Windam had paused to check his notes and to drink some water...the silence was too great a temptation for Sousuke's worried mind.
Mr. Windham took a moment to discuss a related issue that he did not want to be overlooked. That topic drew Sousuke's attention like blood draws predators. The Whispered.
There were varied reactions to the Whispered worldwide, with very few people in any one nation being aware of their existence, much less their significance. Of those who knew, many were seduced by the opportunities they might provide. There were also those who viewed them as threats, as means to destabilize the balance of power. With the right information, Third World nations could eclipse superpowers...and terrorists could find ways to drag most of the world's population with them on their way to glorious paradise.
There were those who wanted to start Whispered camps. There were those who wanted to dredge up the painful memories of the Salem witch trials and countless other sanctioned acts of persecution. There were those who wanted pogroms. Fortunately, there were also voices of reason. It was true that threats could arise from Black Technology. But, knowledge crucial to overcoming such threats...and totally unrelated threats...might also lie within the minds of the Whispered. Did anyone really want to be guilty of throwing the baby out with the bath water?
Sousuke could not resist his urges entirely. He pulled a small photograph out of his pocket. He looked at it, his feelings alternating between utter numbness and seering agony, his mind trying to find the right setting on its thermostat. He looked up, when Kurz and Melissa placed their hands on his and gave him brief words of encouragement. There were other people with their own anguish to deal with. He put the photo of Kaname away.
Mr. Windham covered many of the details that had been sent by Mithril Intel ops to Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin. He expanded on some areas, and provided additional case reports.
The Soviet array of transmitters was known as the Woodpecker grid because of the noise it made on certain sensor arrays. The clicking noises sounded like the continual pecking of a bird. The waves from those transmitters could travel in different manners, including patterns similar to that of Over The Horizon radar. It had not been possible to ever precisely locate a specific transmitter, or to determine just how large the number of transmitters was..
The sum total of the Russian system was code-named Fer de Lance, named after a deadly South American pit viper. The snake lay in wait for unsuspecting prey, then struck with blinding speed, its victim promptly expiring in writhing agony. The name seemed apt.
The guest speaker went briefly into scientic theory, mentioning terms and theories such as the Zero-Vector axiom, Kaluza geometry, the Bohm-Ahronov effect, and Kaznacacheyev's treatise on EM induction of cellular disease and disorder.
He mentioned incidents related to Russian testing, directed use of prototype weaponry, and unexpected accidents:
*The USS Thresher was suspected to have fallen victim to a longitudinal wave weapon
*Gary Power's U2 was belived to have been downed by a small jury-rigged Tesla howizter.
*In 1976, as a Bicentennial 'gift,' the Russians disrupted communications in the 3-30 mega Hertz range by means of their transmitters.
*U.S. space vehicles and shuttles had been used as targeting experience for the Russians. It was suspected they went even further, causing metal softening that led to the destruction of the Challenger shuttle. Titan rockets were destroyed over Vandenburg Air Force base.
*The Chernobyl incident was thought to have arisen through a scalar accident.
*The Arrow DC-8 downed in Gauder, Newfoundland was felt to be the victim of zero wave devices.
*Ships reported findings at sea that were suspected to be tests of giant missile shields.
*Airline pilots made reports of occurences belived to be cold explosions.
*Remote areas of Australia were felt to be used by the Russians and friendly nations as a test target.
*Microwaves resulting from scalar devices were implicated in heath problems developed by U.S. embassy personnel.
*A massive earthquake centered in the Great Lake region and involving 10 states was felt to have been precipitated by earthquake weapons.
*Scalar "deathray" devices were tested on Soviet Hind helicopters in Afhghanistan. To cover-up such usage, the helicopters also dropped gas cannisters. However, the witnessed deaths occured instantaneously...that is not a characteristic of gas attacks.
Mr. Windham discounted rumors that scalar weapons had been used to soften the metal in the Twin Towers before the impact of the passenger aircraft.
The suspected use longitudinal wave EM technology by other countries, terrorist groups, and crime syndicates was also discussed. As an example, TWA flight 800 was felt to have been brought down by the Yakuza and Aum Shinrikyo. Six Russian ammunition dumps at widely separated areas had been detonated in quick succession, an act that clearly informed the Russians that they were not alone in harnassing the energies of the vacuum.
"It is not merely poetic license to call scalr technology a double-edge sword of near unlimited power." Mr. Windham was winding down his part of the presentation. "The gates to hell incarnate have been opened by man's lust for power. No one considers the Russians to be madmen...they do not want to destroy the world, but rather want to conquer it. But, they know that with a single mistake, everybody could lose everything. The same goes for other sovereign nations." He stopped to wipe his brow.
"There are, as we now know, shadow groups with uncertain agendas. Some, no doubt, are funded by large nations who do not want to get their hands dirty...who don't want to get caught. They presumably will do as they are told. Others follow their own tune. Such groups may have no concern whatsoever for world safety...they are loose cannons of unknown destructive potential."
Sousuke looked over at the faces of his two comrades. Both Kurz' and Melissa's faces looked as if they had been carved from stone. He hadn't heard a single quip from Kurz. There had not been the slightest act of physical intimidation from Melissa.
Mr. Windham finished off his talk. The TDD-1's pastor stepped to the podium for a few closing words.
"As I understand things, the accidental misuse of the weapons discussed here today could lead to changes in the Sun that could end life on earth. The biblical prophecy of mankind being wiped out by fire and brimstone from the heavens could well become a reality." Many people in the audience bowed their heads, thinking of the vast dangers at hand.
"We stand upon the cusp of a great dilemma. We live in a wantonly irreligious age. People in this age tend to regard themselves as wiser than those of earlier ages, but what does all of our knowledge mean? We have learned much, but might not truly understand just what it all means. We here on this wondrous ship should not forget that there are things beyond the realm of science and technology. None of us here will ever be able to distill consciousness, beauty, love, or affection from any of our technological wonders. There are things that exist that science has no answer for, has no way to measure. And yet, science has become the opiate of the masses." The pastor lead the room in prayer before giving his closing thoughts.
"In the coming struggle, we must all rely on more than just the machines and weapons at our disposal. We must put our hope in things that cannot be measured, cannot be completely explained. We need to have faith. We need to follow our hearts. We need to fight for all that is good and for evrything that we hold dear...not merely strike out at that which we see as wrong or bad or unjust. We should not go forth merely to defend life...we should fight for the things that make our lives worth living. Don't be swallowed up with hate for those you see as evil. Fight for those that you love."
"I will leave you with a quote from Teilhard de Chardin:
Someday, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides, and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love. Then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."
*************************************************************
Sousuke looked through the books lining the shelves of the TDD-1s reading area. He hoped that no one had borrowed the book he was searching for.
Father O'Malley had spoken to Sousuke after the concepts briefing. He listened to the young man describe his concerns about the upcoming struggle and the weight that would fall on each warrior's shoulders. He took note of the terrible choices the AS pilot was faced with. He applauded the younger man's search for wisdom and personal understanding.
The pastor then offered Sousuke some thoughts from the proverbs of Solomon, son of David, King of Israel. He quoted from Chapter 11, stressing that the younger man should follow his heart in what he did, using his integrity as his guide. He quoted form Chapter 12, telling him that a fool will see his own ways as wise, while a wise man will seek out the advice of others. He also quoted from Chapter 24, exhorting his listener to trust in his own strength when he was faced with adversity.
He then caught Sousuke by surprise when he quoted an old Taoist proverb:
"No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see."
The pastor told Sousuke to find as much peace as he could before trying to work through his thoughts. Too much emotion might pervert or retard any insight he might hope to come upon. He recommended a book to Sousuke...a book that didn't hold any answers per se, but one which might cause Sousuke to think. He also thought---but did not say---that puzzling through the proverbs in the book might help distract the troubled young man...might help dull the pain of his strong emotions. That in itself my be the most important thing for him at the moment.
The book was the second to the last on the final shelf. It was an old collection of proverbs from different cultures, a haphazard collection that covered many different aspects of life.
Sousuke went to a storage cabinet in the room and removed a a pad of yellow lined paper and a pen. He read through the proverbs, writing down those that he might want to give thought to later:
@"Use Your Enemy's Hand To Catch a Snake" (Persian)
Sousuke thought about that proverb, coming up with something he would mention at the mission briefing if it were to go uncovered. Thought should be given to using the enemy's presence to counteract some of their own capabilities. Additionally, nations that had proven a thorn in the side of Mithril in the past would now be allies. It would be wise to send them into harms way when they were best suited for certain tasks.
@"A Man is Not Where He Lives, But Where He Loves" (Latin)
No surprise. Kaname came to mind. This would be one to write down on a specific piece of paper he set aside.
@"If You Chase Two Rabbits, You Will Catch Neither One" (Russian)
Kaname, again. And Tessa.
@"When You Want To Test The Depth of A Stream, Don't Use Both Feet" (Chinese)
That spoke to him of the perils of rash thought and action. It made sense not only in battle, but also in his assessment of his own feelings and decisions.
@"If a Man is Destined To Drown, He Will Drown Even In a Spoonful of Water" (Yiddish)
Sousuke wasn't certain what he belived about destiny. But he did know that if something was going to happen, it made no sense to run from it, or to attempt to hide.
@"Love is Like Dew That Falls On Both Nettles and Lilies" (Swedish)
Definitely a Kaname thought. He wrote that down. He added "and Halisens."
@"You Can't Wake A Person Who Is Pretending To Be Asleep" (Navajo)
That one sounded somehow profound, but he couldn't puzzle out an immediate useful message. He scribbled it down for future contemplation.
@"You Have To Do Your Own Growing No Matter How Tall You Grandfather Was (Irish)
That no doubt had to do with the need to do things for yourself. He also thought about his success during recent missions. He decided that it would be unwise to get overconfident, or to rely on tricks and stategems he had devised for those encounters. This mission should be treated as if it was his first. And as if it may well be his last.
@"He Who Wants A Rose Must Respect The Thorn" (Persian)
Kaname again. Add it to the list.
@"We Never Know The Worth Of Water Until The Well Is Dry" (French)
That could be applied to many things. Nothing should be taken for granted. Not peace. Not freedom. Not even life in general. And not Kaname.
@"Even A Clock That Doesn't Work Is Right Twice A Day" (Polish)
For the fist time that day, Sousuke grinned. There WAS some hope for him after all.
@"When Love Is Not Madness, It Is Not Love" (Spanish)
How old was that one? How could they have known Kaname. He grinned again as he wrote that one down
@"By Asking For The Impossible, We Often Obtain he Best Possible" (Italian)
That one caught Sousuke a hard one across the jaw. That rang so true. In life. In battle. Maybe even in a relationship. Maybe in the battle to save the life of one's partner in a relationship.
@"All Things Good To Know Are Difficult To Learn" (Greek)
Reassuring. Enlightening. Inspring.
@"He Who Is Afraid Of A Thing Gives It Power Over Him" (Morrocan)
Very true!!! He could afford to be concerned and worried. He must not let his fear rule him!
@"The Crow That Mimics The Cormorant Is Dead" (Japanese)
Yes. He could ask for advice. Ask for assistance. But he would need to find his own answers from it all. His own path.
@"Don't Fall Before You Are Pushed" (English)
Don't make unnecesary errors. Don't give into despair before all options have been tried. Don't let himself become too limited by sorrow too soon.
@"An Army Of Sheep Led By A Lion Would Defeat An Army Of Lions Led By A Sheep" (Arab)
That was a must! He would lead his squad with the spirit of a Lion. He should NOT let the knowledge of just how much was at stake stay his hand or slow his mind. Not in the fight to save the world as he knew it. Not in the quest to save Kaname. That was definitely a keeper. He might also have the graphics department make him up some lion's head decals.
@He Who Knows Nothing Doubts Nothing" (Brazilian)
His doubts and his search for answers were a good thing. Not a sign of weakness. Not a flaw.
@"Be Not Afraid Of Growing Slowly, Be Afraid Of Standing Still" (Chinese)
That was true. He had learned that himself over the past few months. He had gleaned that from his countless questions about his place in the world. It could also be applied to his relationship with Kaname. He wouldn't rush himself, or her.
@"Never Ask God To Give You Anything, Ask Him To Put You Where Things Are" (Mexican)
Sousuke understood the underlying premise. He also bent it for his own purpose. Regarding Kaname's rescue. And who should be in charge of it. It helped increase his confidence in his current course of action.
@"The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had No Tears" (Native American)
Another one written down for future digestion. Some good things required a struggle. Positive things could come from difficult situations.
@"There Is Nothing Noble In Being Superior To Someone Else. The True Nobility Is Being Superior To Your Previous Self" (Hindu)
That one said a mouthful. He wished he had stumbled upon that one a number of months ago. He would write this one down for Kaname to read someday. After he hid her halisen. And the kitchen utensils. Other sharp, heavy, or swingable objects. Furniture?
@"Care, And Not Fine Stables, Makes A Good Horse" (Danish)
Yes. Another one to read to Kaname. Or, at least to consider. Kaname might use that one to justify treating him like a horse!
@"Be Happy While You Are Living, For You Are A Long Time Dead" (Scottish)
Sousuke grinned again. Trust a Scotsman to speak thes obvious. But, it was true. So true. And he was often guilty of overlooking the simplest of things.
@"A Hero Is One Who Knows How To Hang On For A Minute Longer" (Norwegian)
That one was worth another decal. No, two decals. One for the Arbalest. One for his apartment window. It would come in handy at times of iminent halisen launch. He chuckled briefly, the sound dying quickly when he realized he was talking as if Kaname's rescue was a forgone conclusion. He raised an eyebrow when he realized how many times he had thought about Kaname's halisen. He should have started another column on his paper. '# times thought lovingly about Kaname' vs. '# times thought of halisen.' The numbers might be telling.
@"A Sparrow In The Hand Is Better Than A Dove On Your Roof." (German)
Sousuke would need to keep his thoughts and plans practical. In battle. And afterwards. It made no sense to dream up plans that had little chance of success.
@"Love Cannot Grow Without Passion" (Greek)
Kaname again. Passion. He had to wonder about himself sometimes. Had the passion been burned out of him as a child? Was he somehow holding it back unconsciously? Could he open the gate himself? Could Kaname? Someone else? Again, putting the horse before the cart.
@"It Is Not The Horse That Draws The Cart, But The Oats" (Russian)
There, horses again. And carts. It was wise to look at the full picture and not jump to conclusions. It was good to see the function of even the smallest part...the simplest weapon...the most unexpected person. He would need to do more thinking later, to strip himself down to his innermost motivations.
@"Don't Run Too Far, You Have To Come Back The Same Distance" (Biblical)
That one would be fruitful later on. Was he running too far to chase Kaname, in case he couldn't catch her, or if might fail in bringing her back? Or was he still running too far from his own feelings? There was also a message in there about overstepping one's bounds, about being too caught up in the tides of war. He would have to give this one some thought.
@"The Hammer Shatters Glass, But Forges Steel" (Russian)
Things can have more than one use, more than one effect. Love can break one's heart...or make one much stronger. Or so he had been told. Which would he find? A more painful parallel came to mind. Arbalest could shatter Kaname, in order to help forge a safer world. He couldn't let that thought run wild...he'd wrestled it down many times already. He couldn't just try to cut off the thought, as it grew more heads than the hydra. He would have to burn it away with the fires of truth and reason.
@"Wait Until The Night To Say It's A Good Day" (French)
That carried a lot of significance, both for the upcoming battle and for his attempts at relationship building.
@"If You Let Everyone Walk Over You, You Will Become A Carpet" (Bulgarian)
Sousuke blushed at that one. He usually did not let ANYONE walk all over him. With one notable exception. At least she kept her feet clean! Perhaps he would need to put more thought into this one if he and Kaname both survived.
@"Don't Push The River, It Will Flow By Itself" (Polish)
True. Very true. He needed to rely on patience and appropriate restraint. He did not need to waste his energy in needless pursuits. He did not need to go overboard with self-examination.
@"Love rules without rules" (Italian)
Ah. That would make things more difficult than he thought. Sousuke liked rules and established doctrine. Then again, there is great freedom in a lack of rules. Well, he would need to check with Kaname to see if that was acceptable.
@"He Who Seeks A Friend Without Faults Goes Without" (Turkish)
Another decal! Multiple copies. If he returned to Tokyo before Kaname, she would find that decal on her desk at school...on her mirror...on her refrigerator...Sousuke stopped to reconsider. That might lead to hits by the halisen on his head...his back...his limbs...anywhere Kaname could reach. No. It would be worth it. Fortune favors the brave!
@"You'll Never Plow A Field By Turning It Over In Your Mind" (Irish)
True. Thinking had its place...but it would come down to doing. Soon enough.
@"Patience is a Tree Whose Root Is Bitter But Whose Fruit Is Sweet" (Canadian)
Another thought to scribble down. Another decal for Kaname.
@"A Man Thinks He Knows, But A Woman Knows Better" (Chinese)
Uh! No decal. Absolutely NO DECAL! He would have to reconsider writing this one down. It probably didn't matter any way...it seems that Kaname must have read it somewhere already.
@"Beyond The Mountains Are Mountains Again" (Haitian)
Indeed. A good point to remember. There are always more struggles in life. Always more missions. Always more halisens. But also, more kisses, when things go well. Sousuke was used to the rocky path, the peaks and the valleys. For some reason, that thought made him blush for a brief moment.
@"Pearls Do Not Lie On The Seashore. If Thou Desirest One, Thou Must Dive For It" (Chinese)
That one was self evident. He needed to work for whatever he wanted. Answers. Relationships. Rescues.
@"A Man Chases A Woman Until She Catches Him (American)
Oh. Possibly so. It would not serve him well to ever get his hopes too high. Perhaps he needed to work on being a better catch? How? Now was not the time to worry about this!!!
@"Every Seed Knows Its Time" (Russian)
Yes. There was no denying that any longer. He had to go forward in life. He remembered his talk with Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin back when he had recieved the infamous homework assignment. Also, in a sense, Mithril had planted Sousuke. The environment he had been surrounded by was the soil. His training and prior missions had been the water. To get him ready for this mission. Before time ran out. For many things.
*************************************************************
Sousuke thought back to his return from the Chechen mission.
The flight in the helicopter could not go quickly enough for him. The battle had beem successful, but harrowing. The combat had been fierce, but the outcome seemed predetermined. On the other hand, the threat of a small scale nuclear catstrophe had been very real, and quick decisions had been necessary to save the lives of everyone within the blast radius of the pirated tactical devices.
His mind had been focused, in that he did not think of Kaname during the involved portions of his mission. During the quiet moments, however, he thought back to their last moments together. She had been frightened. He could offer no reassurances. They had no way of knowing if or when he might return. She had been very respectful, had made him the center of all they had said and done in those moments alone. He had told her that she was someone worth coming back to, and that only death could stop him. She said that she knew that he would always come back for her.
He willed the copter to move faster. The sooner he reached the TDD-1, the sooner he could be debriefed...the sooner he was debriefed, and the sooner he could begin the series of flights that would bring him back to Tokyo...bring him back to Kaname.
When the helicopter was snug aboard the submarine, and his feet first touched the deck, he almost immediately got the sense that something was wrong. People were waiting to talk with each member of the Special Response Team, and Sousuke watched as Melissa's, Kurz', Sgt. Xiao's, and other team members' faces fell as they were told some fact or bit of news. Had something happened since they had left? Had a nuclear device been overlooked? Had they committed some great mistake?
An aide walked up to Sousuke. She would not tell him what the situation was, but rather informed him that he needed to meet with Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin immediately. What could this all mean?
He walked into his commanding officer's quarters and was immediately asked to take a seat. Kalinin's voice was hard, cold. The tone reminded Sousuke of the weather during his arctic mission...frigid enough to shatter steel.
"Sergeant, let me first congratulate you on a mission well done. The world is in you debt, as is a sizeable indigenous population. I wish I could allow you time to rest and recuperate, but the current situation does not permit that." He tented his hands, and looked at Sousuke, no trace of any paternal feelings audible or visible.
The Lt. Cmdr. gave Sousuke a capsular summary of the new threat, telling him that future briefings would provide further details. "The crucial detail in this entire situation is, of course, the abduction of Whispered. Should they provide the solutions sought after, the world would be in terrible peril." Before he continued, Kalinin looked Sousuke directly in the eyes, his own face twitching ever so slightly.
"Sgt. Sagara, both Captain Testarossa and Kaname Chidori were among those taken." The words hung in the air like unexploded ordinance. There was no way, however, to defuse the situation. Sousuke's greatest fears were confirmed.
"Sir." It was what he needed to say for military courtesy. It was the only word he could squeeze out at that moment.
"I take it you understand the gravity of the situation, sergeant?" Kalinin's question was clearly rhetorical. "This is not merely a matter that could adversly affect every living person on this planet...this may well determine whether or not there continues to be any life on this world. Now. Or ever."
"I understand, Sir."
"As I expected you would. This mission is bigger than Mithril. We will be sending out three teams, augmented by members of the armed forces of other soverign nations. The numbers in these groups may not be overly large, but they will be supported by whatever resources the free nations of the globe can offer at the appointed places and the appropriate time. Combined naval, ground, and air operations are in the planning stages as we speak." Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin watched Sousuke's face and body, seeing no outward signs of desperation or lack of composure.
"We have been able to track the kidnapped individuals by a means I shall not disclose. Currently, it appears that they are being held at three separate sites. We can not be certain whether this is because they are unaware of our ability to pinpoint their location, or whether it is a sign of the confidence they hold in their defenses. We are strongly hoping for the former."
"As it now stands, Mithril will send team members to each of the sites. Captain Testarossa is at one site. Kaname Chidori is at another. The young woman you once rescued is at a third. Others are present at each site, as well. You have the option of a choice, sergeant. Can you see where this is leading?" Kalinin was pretty certain that Sousuke would be aware of the necesary points.
"Sir, I believe I understand. Do you wish to hear my analysis?" He continued after Kalinin nodded his head.
"First, we should proceed as if each and every Whispered held the key information sought after."
"Correct." Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin affirmed.
"Second, we must also consider the strong possibility that none of the kidnapped individuals will have such knowledge."
"Also correct."
"Third, we need assume that any Whispered individual still living has not been examined and has not been found lacking in desired knowledge."
"Yes."
"Fourth, we must take whatever measures are necessary to prevent the potential transfer of hazardous information. Mithril will make all possible effort to rescue the Whispered...but will not hesitate to destroy those missing individuals if rescue is not possible." Sousuke's lip twitched slightly.
"Regretably true. Fully necessary."
"Fifth, you are asking me if I can pull the trigger on Miss Chidori if it is required of me." Sousuke's eyes had gone completely cold.
"Yes. That is the most crucial bit of information I need from you at this time. If the answer is 'no,' then you would be the last person I would send to rescue Miss Chidori and those with her."
'If the answer is 'yes,' I can assign you with relative confidence to that precise mission. Your feelings for Miss Chidori, if kept in check, might make you the ideal man to send after her. You would no doubt go the extra mile to save her, and that might be a critical factor, as long as you can be completely certain that you would not hesitate when the moment came. There may be no second chances." His piercing stare was that of a raptor focused on a coney.
"I would be capable of doing so, Sir. I would not wish things to be so, but I am quite capable of dealing with any necessity. I would do so with love, compassion, and respect." The answer was as truthful as it was painful.
"I thought as much, sergeant. And I am offering you the choice of missions, with the caveat that the choice can still be nullified if the Intellience Departments determines that Arbalest will be uniquely suited for a specific role."
"Understood, Sir. Do I have time to think over my decision?"
"Yes, you have one day for your final anwer. I would be interested in your initial decision, in case matters arise that prompt immediate action."
"I would request permission to lead the team sent out to rescue Miss Chidori and her companions." A flash of life reappeared in Sosuke's eyes.
"Granted, sergeant. We will consider that to be the case unless I hear otherwise from you before the final leadership meeting tomorrow evening. In your thoughts tonight, I would like you to keep one thing in mind."
"Sir?"
"I do not believe what Stalin said was true. He said 'The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of a million is a statistic.' I believe that the death of a milion men is one million tragedies rolled into one."
"Yes, Sir!"
Lt. Cmdr, Kalinin did not give any clue to whether or not he realized how disconcerting his final statement would be:
"Sergeant, I am also to inform you that you are to meet with Commander Mardukas at the top of the hour. Dismissed."
*************************************************************
Sousuke remembered his meeting with another superior officer.
To say that Sousuke and Cmdr. Mardukas did not get along would be an understatement of staggering proportions. Sousuke did not fear may things, did not find too many situations more stressful than he could handle. But, for whatever reason, Sousuke felt unbelievably tense and ill at ease around the TDD-1's executive officer.
Perhaps that was due to the older man's seemingly unbridled dislike of Sousuke. And that may stem from what Cmdr. Mardukas viewed as Captain Testarossa's improper fascination with the young sergeant.
Trying to will himself at peace, Sousuke rapped smartly on the Commander's door.
"Enter!"
"Sergeant Sousuke Sagara, reporting as ordered, Sir!" Sousuke's always instinctually behaved as militarily proper as possible around Cmdr. Mardukas.
"At ease, soldier. I take it that you have met with Kalinin?"
"That is correct, Sir!" Slight beads of sweat had already formed on Sousuke's brow. The older man noticed and grinned a razor straight line in return.
"Did he offer you a choice of missions?" He made it sound as if that had been a mistake. He did not blink.
"Yes, Sir. I told him I chose---" Sousuke was interupted.
"Sergeant, I have no wish to hear your choice at this time. That information you may keep to yourself. I will be more interested in your choices after you have had sufficient time to think. I merely wish to provide you with some facts to consider." Cmdr. Mardukas made it sound as if he was going to provide unassailable facts, and by implication, a simple awareness of what the only correct choice could be.
"As you wish, Sir!"
"First, let me say that I am aware of your feelings for the young Japanese girl, Miss Chidori. I will say that I approve of such closeness to your charge only as far as it diffuses any interest you may have in someone who should be even less attainable." He did not have to mention Tessa's name. He frowned a deep frown, and the furrows of his brow looked as if they might carve a mark into his skull.
"However, beyond that, person feelings have no place in guard duty, sergeant. They have even less of a place in battle. Especially this battle. A British general---Archibald Wavel---once said 'There is no room in war for delicate machinery.' No doubt you can see his point. I will take it a step further. There is no room in war for delicate feelings and emotions. Do you understand my point?"
"I understand your point of view!" Sousuke answered. He clearly did not mean to say that he agreed completely with Cmdr. Mardukas' point. The older warrior saw that, and was very displeased.
"Sergeant, I hope you give thought to what I say. This is not about a difference of opinions among two men...this is about ensuring the safety of our Captain. More importantly, this is about doing our utmost to make certain that there is always a tomorrow!!!" The Commander was gripping his chair arms ever so subtly.
"Yes, Sir."
"As I said, whether I judge them appropriate or NOT, I can understand your feelings. What I must stress is that you need to put aside your feelings, no matter how difficult a task that might be. Churchill said 'Kites rise highest against the wind.' You can prevail against adversity. You can prevail against emotions. That has been one of the things about you I have admired unconditionally." Cmdr. Mardukas reached for a small metal pitcher and two porcelain cups.
"Tea, sergeant?"
"Yes, Sir. If I may." Sousuke would need to be certain that the older man did not see his hand tremble when he held his cup.
"I am certain you are privy to many of my opinions of you. I will restate them just the same." He poured Sousuke a cup of tea, and then himself. "You are young for a soldier, and you are reckless. Sugar?" He offered Sousuke a small covered bowl of sugar.
"No thank you, Sir."
"I am not the only one, sergeant, who thinks you take too many chances. There are others who are also of the opinion that you overstep the bounds of propriety and military ediquette. Lemon?"
"Yes sir, if you please."
"I suppose none of us should be surprised by these facts, as you were raised in a rough environment. That, and you have been paired with Sgt. Weber and Sgt. Major Mao. Would you care for a bisquit? Jam?" He removed a tin of imported bisquits from his desk, and two small jars of jam: plum and apricot. His opinion of the sweet fruit preserves counterbalanced his personal feelings towrads Kurz and Melissa.
"A bisquit would be very nice, Sir!" Sousuke thanked his superior officer for the delicacy. In accepting the plate, he looked up on the walls of the room surrounding him. A picture of the Queen was there. She appeared to be looking at Sousuke with a barely concealed look of disdain.
Cmdr. Mardukas slathered apricot jam on a biscuit, looking at the morsel with the same gaze a leopard gives a young boar.
"It is very fortunate for us all---yourself included---that you are an exceptional pilot. As you yourself must be aware, your technique remains rough around the edges. In spite of this, you always bring results. You succeed even where more experienced pilots fail." Cmdr, Mardukas almost sounded as if such a success was a personal affront. The bisquit gave into its master.
"Sir."
"But do not let that go to your head! There is always room for improvement. And it is imperative that you do not rest on past laurels!" A bite of bisquit, four chews, and a swallow.
"I understand, Commander."
"I truly hope so, sergeant! It is necessitous that you take time and think things through, thouroughly. Another quote from Churchill is appropriate: 'Men occasionaly stumble over the truth, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing has happened.' There is no room for emotional blindness." Mardukas finished off his biquit and followed it with a sip of tea. He sighed happily, briefly. Another one with plum would serve well.
"Sir"
"You have been informed about the critical role played by the Whispered in this crisis, sergeant?" The question was clearly rhetorical.
"Yes, Sir. I have."
"Good. You should keep the following in mind. Any of the Whispered could potentially hold the information that is being sought. It is by that consideration, an obvious necessity to save anyone we can...and to eradicate anyone we cannot." He paused for a bite of bisquit and a sip of tea. He wiped the corner of his mouth with a napkin.
"As we have agreed on that point, we may proceed on to the next. There are those among the Whispered who are more important to save than others. There are those who play a much greater role in advancing good works than others. Can we agree on this, at least in theory, sergeant?"
"I can understand your point, Sir."
"Excellent. Rather good, indeed. You should therefore be able to reach an indisputable conclusion. The most crucial Whispered to save is Captain Testarossa."
Sousuke remained silent. Cmdr, Mardukas waited for a reply, finishing off his second bisquit and his cup of tea.
"Are we of a different opinion, sergeant?" The older gentleman did not leave any uncertainty about the inadvisability of such.
"Sir, I completely understand Captain Testarossa's significance." Sousuke hoped that his answer would suffice.
Cmdr. Mardukas did not look completely satisfied, but he well understood the concept of partial victories. "That will do then, sergeant. You may go and ponder your decisions."
After his dismissal, Sousuke opened the door and prepared to leave.
"Oh...and sergeant..." Mardukas began his final remark. "I must compliment you. Your coversational skills have improved remarkably!"
*************************************************************
Sousuke's thoughts were still jumbled. He was pretty certain what he wanted to do, but Cmdr. Mardukas' argument was cogent, in a sense. He had knocked that thesis down a number of times already, but it kept getting back up on its feet. He grit his teeth, and tried to see deep inside himself, making certain he would't be manipulated by anything that the Commander had said or implied.
Should Sousuke follow his heart, and lead an attack to save the woman he cared for the most, believing that his feelings for her would provide him extra motivation...not wanting to entrust her rescue to anyone else?Or should he place his hope in the hands of his fellow soldiers, trusting that they could rescue Kaname while he fought to save one of Mithril's greatest assets? Was his current prefence the best because it was true to his thought? Or was it questionable, because it reeked of selfishness?
Two seasoned veterans---each with vast experience in battle and in life---each had opposing views. Well, that was not exactly true. Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin was open to either possibility, and had wisely left Sousuke to find his own truth. Sousuke certainly appreciated the freedom, but it made the responsibility all that more weighty.
Reading thebook on proverbs had certainly settled his mind some, and helped him gain more confidence in his decision. To believe with certainty, one must start with doubt. Or so one proverb had said. He had done that; but now, he needed help in removing as much doubt as possible.
He decided it was time to talk with Sgt. Major Mao and Sgt. Weber. He smiled inwardly for a brief moment: perhaps the best course of action was to find out what Kurz would do...and then do the opposite!!!
The knock on Melissa's door was followed by a loud series of curses, as well as a momentous metallic crash. Beer cans rolled out into the hallway as the door opened, a thin trail of beer left behind in a curious fractal shape.
Sousuke's first impression was that of a thick fog, the type that people are apt to say can be cut with a knife. Soon after that, a battering ram of odor knocked him backward, his eyes watering in the cigarette smoke. As the fog cleared some, he noticed Melissa standing in the doorway, a beer in her hand. Behind her, Kurz was building replicas of the great Egyptian pyramids out of empties. One wonder of the world had collapsed, thanks to Melissa's boot.
"Well...S-Sergeant S-Soukse...come to join the party? What took you so f@cking long?" Melissa sounded somewhat drunk...she must have had a lot to drink.
"Yeh...Sous ole boy...come in and down a few with the Kurzster and Sgt. Major Babe!!!" Kurz sounded the worse for wear too. It seems Sousuke was not the only one with things waying extra heavy on his mind.
Kurz tossed Sousuke a full six pack. Sousuke noted that Kurz had a lit cigarette in his mouth. Kurz hated cigarettes! Two opened boxes of powdered and cinnamon donuts sat near his one hand. Powder was all over his chin.
"I have too much to think about now to be drinking. I would have thought that the same would be true for you two!" Sousuke understood the concern they must be feeling, but now was not the time for self-indulgence. His voice sounded more arrogant than he had intended.
Sousuke found himself grasped firecely by his collar, moments before he was swung around and sent tumbling into the aluminum Cheops marvel. "Shit...not again" he heard Kurz moan.
As he was picking himself up, Sousuke felt a kick to his abdomen. When he looked up, Melissa stood looking down at him. "What makes you so f@ckin' high and mighty, Sousuke! Who the f@ck do you think you are, trying to tell me how to face my pain!" Melissa had a point. "I'll be ready in time for tomorrow's introductions, and for the briefing. Why don't you mind your own goddamn business!"
"Ooh...babe...you look so sexy when you're angry!" That, of course, was Kurz. When Melissa looked ready to smash him into a small greasy stain, he said "Please Melissa...go ahead...I'm certain it will make both of us feel better." There wasn't a shred of humor in his voice. Kurz with a flat voice was a noteworthy thing.
"I apologize, Sgt. Major. You are correct. I was very intent on my business, and I suppose I was being selfish in my anger. I had come here for advice, and couldn't believe that you would be drunk at such a time. I did not take your feelings into strong enough consideration. I shall return later." Sousuke turned to leave. Something very rare happened then.
Two things, actually. Melissa pulled him roughly into an embrace...a small number of tears in her eyes. "It's OK, Sousuke. I understand. You face the same losses we do, but you are the only one carrying the burden of choice."
The look in Kurz' eyes was sympathy, not jealousy.
"I do not wish to insult you, Sgt. Major, but I do not understand why you are this depressed. Tessa and Kaname have been taken hostage before, and the world has faced many perils. You are one of the strongest people I know, and it confuses me to see you like this." Sousuke's look was truly puzzled.
"I'm exhausted, Sousuke. We all are. On top of that, we find our friends gone. A one-two punch." Melissa released Sousuke and stepped back. "I know I should be optimistic, but I have a very bad feeling about this. There is a good chance that Tessa will die. And if I go after her, there is a good chance that I will be the one who kills her." Melissa crushed a near full bear can, sending beer guysering into the air.
"And, if I go after Kaname, and have to kill her...how can I face you, Sousuke? How can I face you after you kill Tessa? She's my friend, Sousuke!" She threw the can down, suddenly angered at her emotions.
"Me too, Sousuke." Kurz faced the same difficulties that his two companions faced. "I've laughed with both of them. I'd die for either one. What if I have to put them in my crosshairs and pull the trigger? How could I come back here? What would everything mean after that?" Kurz picked up a donut, looked at it, then placed it back in the box. "I usually feel like joking, Sousuke. But, not today."
Sousuke came here in hope of finding confidence. Instead, he found that his friends were facing the same demons he was. There was solace in that, but the stark realization eroded his confidence. If Melissa and Kurz were this worried, shouldn't he be? Could his personal insights be off target?
Sousuke spoke very assuredly at that moment, surprsing even himself. "Yes, we all care for them both. Just as we care for each other. Any of us may die. But can we only look at OUR loss? Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin told me that Stalin had said that one loss was a tragedy, but that a million was a statistic. He then told me that he believes the loss of a million would be one million tragedies. If we succeed, but our friends die...perhaps we will not be able to look each other in the eyes...but there will be millions of people who would wish to know our faces."
Melissa and Kurz stared at Sousuke for a moment, as if he had suddenly grown two pairs of horns. Melissa spoke first, wiping away tears, looking more like the usual Melissa. "Yes, Sousuke. I know. But that doesn't take away the pain. The fear." She fell to the floor into a sitting position, kicking some beer cans out of the way. "So, you came here for advice, huh? Big mistake!"
"I do not think so. But, I will do this. I will tell you what I have heard, and see what you think." Sousuke told of his discussions with Kalinin and Mardukas. He mentioned his coversation with Father O'Malley. He also showed Kurz and Melissa the item he was carrying...his notepad. "I will will read you the proverbs I wrote down."
Before Sousuke could speak any further, Kurz showed a small spark of life. "I hope you have the answer to this one, Solomon. Why did kamikazee pilots wear helmets?"
"Shut up Kurz! Go on Sousuke." Melissa's anger blew away a few small clouds of depression.
Sousuke read his notes to his two companions. Melissa was visibly shaken when he mentioned the one about a hero being someone who could hold on longer. She hung her head a moment, looking somewhat chastened. The same went for Kurz, but he was more touched by the proverb about reaching for the impossible.
Sousuke went on to describe his thoughts and feelings, asking his squad mates what they thought. Asking them what THEY would choose to do if they were given the choice.
"I'll tell you what I think, sergeant" Melissa said, her eyes bright. "Kaname is a very lucky girl. Lucky she has you. Lucky I'm not a number of years younger. I think I'll have a talk with her when she gets back. That will be the favor I owe her!" She punched Sousuke playfully in the shoulder.
"Yeh!" Kurz said. "The toddler comes looking for food and cooks dinner for his parents. He's such a good boy! Well missus, we should tuck him in bed and get down to making him a sister!" Kurz was joking. That was a notable thing at that moment, so Melissa let him remain pain free. "See you later, Sousuke old boy...come back any time you like. Just don't bother knockin' if the floor is rockin'!!! Oh, yeh!"
Melissa's instincts got the better of her compassion. Landing on his head, Kurz was glad that he hadn't fallen on the donuts.
"Seriously, Sousuke...thanks. I think that will help." Sousuke didn't know if she meant Kurz' involuntary backflip, or his own inspiration. "You sound like you are following your heart, and it sounds like your head agrees. What more can you ask for? Don't worry about Mardukas. He's good at what he does---and he means what he says--- but he won't be out there with us. He won't have his hand on any trigger that up close and personal. Kalinin trusts you, and so do I."
"Me too!" Kurz added, munching on a donut, his shirt covered with powder. He picked up another donut and held it up to his eye. "Don't think too much, though. Don't miss the donut by looking through the hole!"
"Shut up Kurz!!!" Another reflex from Melissa.
"Babe, you hurt me!" Kurz was making his way back to his old self. He thought his suggestion was clever.
"That comes later. And you can thank Sousuke that I am getting my spirit back." Melissa gave Sousuke a quick squeeze. She was still very down, but Sousuke was less concerned now.
"Traitor!" Kurz said to Sousuke, pelting him with donut fragments.
Sousuke looked at Kurz, then Melissa. Then Kurz again. It seemed that his words had somehow made a difference. There was a subtle truth expressed by their reactions. No one had offered him astounding wisdom or advice, but he felt better himself at that moment.
"Of course...we weren't feeling bad to begin with" Kurz said, laughing quietly. He had correctly judged Sousuke's look. "That was just part of my brilliant plan. Oh yeh!"
"SHUT...UP...KURZ!" The volume was louder than anyone might have expected. Both Sousuke and Melissa had spoken at the same time.
Kurz grumbled, throwing more donut at Sousuke. Some hit Melissa. She just sat there. THAT was truly worrisome. Kurz would make sure to leave before Sousuke did.
"As for choices, Sousuke, you can probably guess mine." Melissa ground out her cigarette, took out another.
"Tessa?" Sousuke asked.
"Yes" Melissa answered. "She's my bud, and I owe her that. Just as you owe Kaname. And, I could probably face myself better than I could face either of you two, if one of us was forced to take her out."
The wording hit Sousuke hard in the gut. It had only been a few weeks ago that he had taken Tessa out. She had begun to be his friend. A lot of opportunities had been lost.
"But, don't let my preference influence you, Sousuke. Do what you feel you must do. Tessa means more to you now than before, doesn't she?" Melissa wasn't talking love. Sousuke knew that. Kurz, respecting the seriousness of the conversation, remained silent.
"Yes," Sousuke said, undoubting. "Much more. If it were not for Kaname, I would go for Tessa, if I were still given the choice."
Melissa nodded her head. "Good. I figure she will be in good hands, whichever of us goes. I suppose we need to hope for the better, while preparing for the worst. I should also add, that it does not look like the three of us will be together, regardless of what you choose, Sousuke."
"Why is that, Sis?" Kurz asked, using a donut to mop some beer off of the floor.
"I am not certain, but I have gotten hints that there is another Arbalest prototype. If that's true, I have the sense that I will be the one assigned to it. My guess is that the mission planners would want lambda driver technology at as many sites as possible.
Sousuke's emotions were mixed. It would be liberating to have another ARX-7. He would not be called for every mission needing advanced technology. But, he also felt a small stab of jealousy. Part of him liked the exclusive nature of his AS. He felt unique himself sometimes...it only made sense that his Arm Slave should be unique as well. No matter.
"Sgt. Major...Melissa" Sousuke thought of Tessa, and her efforts to bring less formality between them. Melissa raised an eyebrow and smiled. "You mentioned introductions?"
"Yes...listen up Kurz, this will effect you too." Melissa frowned, seeing Kurz hold a donut up to each ear. "Our teams will be fighting closely with select individuals from various armies. They will come here for briefing, but will be launched or disembarked from their own vessels. We are expected to get to know them as well as possible, as we will be working closely with them in battle."
"I see...that is good...it may be that they brings things we do not know or do not have. It shall be good to meet other warriors." Sousuke was sincere and upbeat.
"I was certain you'd feel that way, Sousuke." Melissa nodded her head.
"Oh yeh! There's a chance some of them might be babes! This'll be a great chance to make Melissa jealous. Maybe I can break some hearts after the mission!" Kurz started juggling donuts.
Melissa, her aim as good as ever, knocked each donut out of the air with a beer can. All except the fourth donut, which fell to the floor when the last can hit Kurz in the forehead. "Oh, damn! I missed..." Melissa's smile spoke the truth her tongue would not.
Souske grinned. Things were getting better.
*************************************************************
Sousuke needed a break from thinking and planning. He stopped by the office that housed the Graphics division and other small groups. He picked up the items he had ordered that morning. He thanked the personnel warmly, impressed at their talents and their rapid turnaround time.
Walking across the hangar bay floor, he saw ghost images from the past: Kaname when she had been aboard, going on a tour with him...Tessa talking with Melissa and Kurz before their departure for Nowshera. Each had been smiling. That's the way he chose to think of them now. He didn't know yet where they were. There was no way he could know what they might be going through.
He stared up at Arbalest, its once pristine armor pitted and scraped in spots, despite refurbishing. The purple heart decal that the Chief Mechanic had presented him with was still in place, partially tattered and worn. Sousuke recalled the fight betwee Kaname and Tessa...the contest that followed...the night at the opera...the time at his apartment. His memories were somewhat tattered and worn as well. But, if things went well, perhaps everything could be touched up, almost as good as new. He sighed.
"Let me guess, Sonny...you been thinking again, ain't ya?" Bobo. He always seemed to turn up when Sousuke stood here deep in thought.
"Yes, Chief. Big time. Mighty big time." Sousuke's fondness for the man hadn't changed.
"Well...don't bother ever reminding me some day...but I can let it slide this time, Sonny. I figure you been hit somethin' hard, and all. It wasn't too long ago, you was here listenin' to me talk about cat fights. Now, some bastards done stole away both your cats!" Sousuke had never seen Bobo with such fire in his eyes. This was the first time he had seen the Chief mechanic enraged.
"Yes, Chief."
"I would take it as a personal favor, Sonny, if you could rip them kidnappers a new one. You get those pretty gals back, and you make that scum pay. You hear?" Bobo was too tense to spit or scratch.
"I will do my best."
"I don't doubt ya for a minute, Sonny. If I was a bettin' man, I'd wager we could drive a truck through them bastards when you're done with'em!" Bobo had enough spunk to spit now.
"Two trucks, Chief. Maybe three."
"Yes sirree! That's the spirit, boy! Whatcha got there?" Bobo saw the folder in Sousuke's hand.
Sousuke showed Bobo the Lion's head decals for the ARX-7. He told the Chief Mechanic of the proverb that inspired him. Sousuke mentioned some of the choices he faced, and told of the personal journey he was walking through.
"That's a real good saying, Sonny. Mighty good. And I don't doubt you're thinkin' hasn't hurt you too much yet. I got somethin' to add, that I heard from an old Cherokee buddy of mine long time back. You can see if it makes sense to ya." Bobo scratched himself, reminiscing.
Bobo spat, barely missing one of Sousuke's boots. "Laughing Bear was a strange one. Right strange! Strongest man I ever seen, but also the kindest. Born of the earth, and big with them mystical spirits, but probably the best damn mechanic I ever seen. He hated to drink, but was always the first to buy others a friendly round. His family, they had hard times. His land, it had seen better days."
Bobo's voice was rich with remembered sympathy. "He shoulda been hatin' everthin' and everybody. He didn't. He saw everythin' he looked at, and he could find the good in it. He heard everythin' said, and found what's right about it. He died too damn young, but he lived every day he had."
Sousuke waited quietly while Bobo paused, lost in a maze of bitter and sweet memories.
"There's a tale he told me once. I'll tell you now, Sonny. Just so you realize, it's tellin' not thinkin'!" He stared intensely at Sousuke, the beginning of a smile waking on his lips.
"Telling, Chief. I understand. No thinking."
"Damn straight, boy!" Bobo blew his nose on his shirt tail, and took up a storytelling stance, one hand on his hip, the other waving in the air.
"An old Indian was talkin' to his grandkids about life. He told 'em, there's a right big fight goin' on inside him. He said it was a real big fight. Worse then a cat fight. It was a fight between two wolves. You with me so far, Sonny?" Bobo spat.
"Yes, Chief. Wolves." Sousuke refrained from scratching his head. Wolves again.
"Damn right, wolves. One wolf was evil. He was all sort a bad things...fear...anger...regret...guilt...self-pity...lies...all that kinda stuff."
"The other wolf, he was good. Real good. He was stuff like peace...joy...happiness...trust...friendship...truth...faith. Yeh, the real fine stuff."
Bobo scratched, and looked Sousuke straight in the eyes. "You see where this is going, Sonny?"
"Not yet, Chief."
"Good to see you don't have all the answers. Wouldn't be nothin' to share with you if you did!" Bobo chuckled, sounding something like a diesel engine turning over.
"I agree."
"The Indian tells his grandkids that this fight is goin' on side each one of 'em. He tells 'em it goes on inside of EVERYONE. Them kids thought about it a while. Then they asked their grandpa, which wolf is gonna win?"
Bobbo paused, his big message coming.
He spat. Twice. And a third time for good measure.
"The old Indian said: The one you feed!" The Chief Mechanic looked, to see if Sousuke showed any signs of understanding.
"Yes" Sousuke said, his eyes poorly focused as he thought. "There is wisdom in that."
"Damn straight. Wouldn't waste my time tellin' it if there weren't." Bobo's laugh was jovial, rushing across the expanse of the hangar like a wave upon the shore
Sousuke noted that Bobo was standing by a number of large carts in front of the ARX-7. "Chief, what are those" He pointed at large bulky forms hidden by tarps.
"Oh...well Sonny, seems the Italians and folks from my country were feelin' a bit friendly like. They sent some new toys for your big metal friend there. For other folks, too. Gonna keep me and the boys busy a spell, I'm sure. They'll be tellin' you 'bout them later, I'll bet."
Sousuke thanked the older gentleman and headed back to his quarters. He was almost done with his thinking for the day, but had one thing more before he showered and hit his bed. He would write a letter to Kaname, one to leave for her in case she returned safely and he didn't. He would be brief and sincere with his feelings. He would share some thoughts he had worked through over the past day.
He felt his own mortaility strongly at that moment, for some reason. He would perservere. He knew which wolf to feed.
*************************************************************
End of part 2
