[FIC] Gang and Girl Visit Hinata: Havoc Ensues (part nine)
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2003 3:57 pm
Motoko sat alone in her room, staring at the empty suit of samurai armor. It was the armor of a warrior. It seemed to be mocking her. She had spent so much of her life in training, but what was she? She certainly was not a warrior.
Her sister had been the greatest fighter she had ever seen. She worshipped her sister. She had once wanted to follow in her footsteps. If Tsuruko could see her now, wallowing in self-doubt and self-pity, she would walk away in disgust. Why had she fallen? How could she have fallen so far?
Her anger boiled up inside. MEN!!! They spoke kindly. They made promises. But they all viewed women as weak. They simply wanted to take advantage of the female sex. Keitaro was a man. She had hated him. Then, she had learned to accept him, even trust him. He had told her that the way she looked did not matter. He had led her to believe that love and femininity were not weaknesses. But that must have been a trick. A lie! Some ruse to get her to lower her guard. A way to make her weak. It seems to have worked all too well.
Motoko had been stopped again by a weakling and by a turtle. What was worse, she had arrived at the conclusion that the men visiting the apartments were dangerous and not to be trusted. No one would believe her. When she tried to stop them---for the good of all of her friends---she had failed and failed miserably. Naru, Shinobu, Su, Kitsune…they were all at the mercy of those fiends.
The more that she thought, the worse that she felt. She had embarrassed herself in front of friend and foe alike. Her phobia had taken over. The sword her sister gave her lay somewhere downstairs. It could even be in the hands of her enemy. In fear, she had thrown it away. Her last vestige of strength and courage had gone with it. When Naru had mentioned that Kaname had been possessed and Motoko was needed, she had refused to help.
Bang bang bang bang bang. It was not the gunfire she had heard earlier. It was not the gunfire that she had ignored, not knowing if it were her friends who were getting shot.
Someone was knocking at her door.
“GO AWAY!!!”
No answer.
Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang.
“I said GO AWAY. I don’t want any supper. I don’t want to do any planning. I DO NOT want any visitors.”
Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang
“WHY WON’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”
“There is a great danger coming. You will have a role to play. The talents that you possess may prove crucial.” It was that stranger’s voice. That man! Sousuke Sagara.
“You have no business being here. I do NOT have to talk to you. You cannot force me to. If Keitaro will not stand up for my rights as a tenant, then I will call the police!!!” Motoko was angry, but she was also frightened. What did he want? If he assaulted her, could she stop him?
“Calling the police would do no one any good, least of all the police. If by chance they managed to lock up my comrades and myself, the Apartments….the city….the world itself would suffer for you actions. We all face self doubt some time. But, we do not all bring down the innocent with us when we embrace our fall.”
Those words stung. He sensed her weakness. It was merely a ploy to put her off balance.
“Talk all you want. I will NOT open the door. If you try to break down the door, I will scream for help.” Motoko wished she had her sword. She had an old katana. It would suffice. Searching for it, she came across her sister’s kimono. She threw it aside. It was a sign of failure again.
The door exploded. Fragments of wood and wood products rained down upon Motoko. When she turned, Sousuke stood in her room. He carried her sword.
Voices called out. The sound of many feet running could be heard. Naru, Kitsune, and Shinobu stood outside the room. Sara showed up as well. If there was any destruction going on, she did not want to miss it. Keitaro did not come. Sousuke had told him of his plans.
“Sousuke, honey, was that necessary?” Kitsune asked.
“Yes” Sousuke reassured her.
“Was this Keitaro’s idea?” Naru’s fist was shaking.
“No. It was mine.” Sousuke noticed that Naru looked disappointed.
“Why didn’t you wait for ME? I thought you liked me!” Sara stomped her foot.
“I ask your pardon, Sara. This is a private matter, between myself and Miss Aoyama.”
“I wouldn’t actually call a grenade private, sugar.” Kitsune had a very large grin.
“It only took out the door” Sousuke replied, feeling that should be explanation enough.
“Try not to blow anything else up, OK?” Naru left after making her request.
“Unless it’s Keitaro!” Sara left too.
“I am certain you had good reasons, Sousuke. I need to do some cleaning in the kitchen. If you need help, let me know.” Shinobu went downstairs.
Motoko was flabbergasted. “I thought you all were my friends” she managed to spit out. No other words could get off her tongue. She hadn’t thought that her world could crumble any further. It just did.
“We are, Motoko. This is for your own good. You’ll see.” Kitsune headed off to her room to get a fresh bottle of sake.
Glaring at Sousuke, Motoko swung her katana fiercely. “Secret technique, air-splitting sword!!!” Nothing happened. She hung her head, crestfallen. What more did she have to lose?
“To defeat a thousand enemies is good. But the samurai who defeats herself is the greatest of warriors.” Sousuke attempted to put things in terms she might relate to.
Motoko brandished her sword, looking as if she would use it to bludgeon Sousuke into submission if necessary. “What would you[/]i know of that? You hide behind a gun and explosives. Any coward can do that. There is no ki needed in a weakling’s weapons.”
“You are incorrect. Weakness is not reflected in the choice of weapons. You should know this. To be swayed by neither the opponent nor by his weapon was the essence of swordsmanship to the samurai.” Sousuke talked as if he was lecturing a recalcitrant child. That fact was not lost on Motoko.
“You have no right to speak such words. You have not spent your life training to be a warrior. You have no idea where my true weakness lies!” Motoko shivered in self revulsion, a single tear making its way down her cheek.
“You are mistaken. I have been faced with battle. I have had to fight to survive for most of my life. My training did not come in moments of safety and seclusion. It came amongst blood, pain, and death.” The words carried a truth and conviction that humbled Motoko. Sousuke threw her sword to the floor at her feet. “You do not face your true weakness, and that is something that you must do. Unless you know your weakness, you cannot move yourself forward. That is the way to true strength.”
“I DO know my weakness. I have seen it in my sister, and it destroyed her as a warrior. She could challenge the very elements themselves. No demon could stand before her. She threw that away. For a man! I will NOT let that happen to me, no matter what else happens.”
Sousuke sighed. This was difficult. The words he needed came to him, but he felt like a hypocrite. With so many issues of his own to deal with, should he be trying to lecture anyone else? Perhaps he was talking to his own needs as well.
“A warrior must bring up his sense of values. He must consider deeply what is worthwhile.” Sousuke saw the look in the young woman’s eye at the use of the word ’he.’ “She must know others’ pain. Before one should judge another’s actions, he or she should try to realize the reason for those actions. You should not judge your sister based on your own values. You should not judge yourself without perceiving the true root of your behavior.”
“My SISTER…” Motoko was cut off by Sousuke.
“Your sister does indeed highlight your weakness as I understand it. If your friends’ account of you was in error, then perhaps I am wrong as well. It will be for you to decide. In thinking of your sister, you need to distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters. For yourself, you need to understand that you are not your sister, and have no obligation to live your life in a manner you believe she abandoned.”
“You do NOT understand!” Motoko’s hands were tight fists. Her arms were rigid and her body trembled. “My sister was the greatest warrior our family had seen in generations. It was her duty to be the head of the Divinity School of Swordsmanship. She selfishly threw…that…all…away.”
“Another thing a warrior must do is develop intuitive judgement and understanding for everything. I myself suffer in this regard. That is my burden to bear. Yet, I believe I have seen into the depth of you and come away with an answer. Your sister’s act was not selfish, it was courageous. The choice of a true warrior. She did not cling falsely to someone else’s expectations. When she realized her own path, she had the strength to follow it.”
“No! But…” Motoko’s mind scattered in so many directions, like a group of butterflies in a gust of wind.
“The selfish one was you.” Sousuke saw the dawn of understanding in her eyes. “You had a vision of what your sister needed to be. You are afraid to disappoint that imaginary sister, the one that exists only in your mind. You believe deep inside that your true sister failed you and that image. You are afraid that you will do the same, wasting your abilities, and avoiding your duty.” Sousuke decide to take thinks one step further. “I will offer this supposition: the Divinity School of Swordsmanship is better off not having a headmistress whose heart was not in that role.”
“I…I…”
“Keitaro may seem like a weakling and a fool, but he has talents that I myself lack. He has already shown you the truth about appearances. The dress that you once wore did not make you weak. You defeated a fiercesome foe clad in that fashion. He showed you kindness when you treated him with contempt. That was a strength that many people lack.”
Motoko hung her head. “Yes.”
“He has also shown you that love is a strength, not a weakness. You need not fear love. Be thankful that you may some day grow to understand it.” It was Sousuke’s turn to hang his head. “There is nothing I have to teach you about that. It is one of my great failings, as others perceive me. I am not afraid of love. I do not know if I can feel it. I do not know if I can feel much of anything.”
Motoko stood stunned. He was clearly a warrior, and he did not fear love. He mourned his inability to love. She felt her heart begin to thaw. He truly had been trying to help her. This was difficult for him.
“Thank you.” She blushed. “But I think you go against one of the philosophies. Do not think dishonestly. You DO have some feelings for Kaname Chidori, don’t you?” She saw his reaction. It was reassuring. He was a proven soldier, and he was uncertain.
“Uh---”
“Yes.” Motoko felt as if she were developing a bond with the young mercenary.
The two of them were silent for a while, each immersed in his or her own thoughts.
Motoko broke the silence. “Turtles.” She shuddered when she said the word.
Sousuke remained silent, looking at her face, waiting. She continued. “I am afraid of turtles. I cannot control that fear. How can I be a warrior? Conquer the self, and you will conquer the opponent. If I cannot face a small turtle, how can I remain confident that I will not fail when I face a more important challenge?” She reached her hand towards her sword, but could not bring herself to take it up.
Standing, Sousuke reached down to pick up the sword. “The sword is not just a blade. Each piece plays a part. To make use of the blade, you must accept the hilt.” He ran his hand over the smooth dark inlays. “Beautiful craftsmanship. A true work of art. It should not be thrown away.” Motoko got the impression that he was talking about the sword, but not only the sword. She felt the blood rush to her face. “Do you see my point?”
“Yes. But…”
“An unpolished crystal does not shine. An undisciplined samurai does not have brilliance. You cannot control an irrational fear. You can attempt to control your reactions. Yours fears and aversions are part of you. You need not embrace them; but, you must accept them.”
Sousuke threw the sword. Motoko caught it, forcing herself to maintain her grip.
“I will leave you now. I shall look for a suitable replacement door. Like everyone else under this roof, you have matters to think about. The battle will not wait for your decision.” Souske nodded to Motoko, then walked out into the hallway.
Kaname was standing there, waiting.
“Kaname?”
“I’m very proud of you, Sousuke. “ Her look was tender, almost amazed. “In some ways you are so wise. Who would think it, since you are so clueless about so many things.” She smiled. “That was a wonderful thing that you did there.”
“Kaname, I was simply being a good soldier. We need all of the fighters that we can find.” There was a truth in what he said. The falsehood resided with the words he did not say.
“I see.” It was obvious that Kaname was not convinced. She walked up closer, acting nonchalant. “Oh, and about your trouble understanding your feelings? Don’t worry. I’m certain there is some girl somewhere who will be willing to wait….”
“Uh---”
“You are dismissed, soldier.” Kaname walked slowly down the hallway, emphasizing the movement of her hips. She stopped to toss her hair, then disappeared down the stairs.
“Uh---”
************************************************************
More coming for part nine.
Her sister had been the greatest fighter she had ever seen. She worshipped her sister. She had once wanted to follow in her footsteps. If Tsuruko could see her now, wallowing in self-doubt and self-pity, she would walk away in disgust. Why had she fallen? How could she have fallen so far?
Her anger boiled up inside. MEN!!! They spoke kindly. They made promises. But they all viewed women as weak. They simply wanted to take advantage of the female sex. Keitaro was a man. She had hated him. Then, she had learned to accept him, even trust him. He had told her that the way she looked did not matter. He had led her to believe that love and femininity were not weaknesses. But that must have been a trick. A lie! Some ruse to get her to lower her guard. A way to make her weak. It seems to have worked all too well.
Motoko had been stopped again by a weakling and by a turtle. What was worse, she had arrived at the conclusion that the men visiting the apartments were dangerous and not to be trusted. No one would believe her. When she tried to stop them---for the good of all of her friends---she had failed and failed miserably. Naru, Shinobu, Su, Kitsune…they were all at the mercy of those fiends.
The more that she thought, the worse that she felt. She had embarrassed herself in front of friend and foe alike. Her phobia had taken over. The sword her sister gave her lay somewhere downstairs. It could even be in the hands of her enemy. In fear, she had thrown it away. Her last vestige of strength and courage had gone with it. When Naru had mentioned that Kaname had been possessed and Motoko was needed, she had refused to help.
Bang bang bang bang bang. It was not the gunfire she had heard earlier. It was not the gunfire that she had ignored, not knowing if it were her friends who were getting shot.
Someone was knocking at her door.
“GO AWAY!!!”
No answer.
Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang.
“I said GO AWAY. I don’t want any supper. I don’t want to do any planning. I DO NOT want any visitors.”
Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang
“WHY WON’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”
“There is a great danger coming. You will have a role to play. The talents that you possess may prove crucial.” It was that stranger’s voice. That man! Sousuke Sagara.
“You have no business being here. I do NOT have to talk to you. You cannot force me to. If Keitaro will not stand up for my rights as a tenant, then I will call the police!!!” Motoko was angry, but she was also frightened. What did he want? If he assaulted her, could she stop him?
“Calling the police would do no one any good, least of all the police. If by chance they managed to lock up my comrades and myself, the Apartments….the city….the world itself would suffer for you actions. We all face self doubt some time. But, we do not all bring down the innocent with us when we embrace our fall.”
Those words stung. He sensed her weakness. It was merely a ploy to put her off balance.
“Talk all you want. I will NOT open the door. If you try to break down the door, I will scream for help.” Motoko wished she had her sword. She had an old katana. It would suffice. Searching for it, she came across her sister’s kimono. She threw it aside. It was a sign of failure again.
The door exploded. Fragments of wood and wood products rained down upon Motoko. When she turned, Sousuke stood in her room. He carried her sword.
Voices called out. The sound of many feet running could be heard. Naru, Kitsune, and Shinobu stood outside the room. Sara showed up as well. If there was any destruction going on, she did not want to miss it. Keitaro did not come. Sousuke had told him of his plans.
“Sousuke, honey, was that necessary?” Kitsune asked.
“Yes” Sousuke reassured her.
“Was this Keitaro’s idea?” Naru’s fist was shaking.
“No. It was mine.” Sousuke noticed that Naru looked disappointed.
“Why didn’t you wait for ME? I thought you liked me!” Sara stomped her foot.
“I ask your pardon, Sara. This is a private matter, between myself and Miss Aoyama.”
“I wouldn’t actually call a grenade private, sugar.” Kitsune had a very large grin.
“It only took out the door” Sousuke replied, feeling that should be explanation enough.
“Try not to blow anything else up, OK?” Naru left after making her request.
“Unless it’s Keitaro!” Sara left too.
“I am certain you had good reasons, Sousuke. I need to do some cleaning in the kitchen. If you need help, let me know.” Shinobu went downstairs.
Motoko was flabbergasted. “I thought you all were my friends” she managed to spit out. No other words could get off her tongue. She hadn’t thought that her world could crumble any further. It just did.
“We are, Motoko. This is for your own good. You’ll see.” Kitsune headed off to her room to get a fresh bottle of sake.
Glaring at Sousuke, Motoko swung her katana fiercely. “Secret technique, air-splitting sword!!!” Nothing happened. She hung her head, crestfallen. What more did she have to lose?
“To defeat a thousand enemies is good. But the samurai who defeats herself is the greatest of warriors.” Sousuke attempted to put things in terms she might relate to.
Motoko brandished her sword, looking as if she would use it to bludgeon Sousuke into submission if necessary. “What would you[/]i know of that? You hide behind a gun and explosives. Any coward can do that. There is no ki needed in a weakling’s weapons.”
“You are incorrect. Weakness is not reflected in the choice of weapons. You should know this. To be swayed by neither the opponent nor by his weapon was the essence of swordsmanship to the samurai.” Sousuke talked as if he was lecturing a recalcitrant child. That fact was not lost on Motoko.
“You have no right to speak such words. You have not spent your life training to be a warrior. You have no idea where my true weakness lies!” Motoko shivered in self revulsion, a single tear making its way down her cheek.
“You are mistaken. I have been faced with battle. I have had to fight to survive for most of my life. My training did not come in moments of safety and seclusion. It came amongst blood, pain, and death.” The words carried a truth and conviction that humbled Motoko. Sousuke threw her sword to the floor at her feet. “You do not face your true weakness, and that is something that you must do. Unless you know your weakness, you cannot move yourself forward. That is the way to true strength.”
“I DO know my weakness. I have seen it in my sister, and it destroyed her as a warrior. She could challenge the very elements themselves. No demon could stand before her. She threw that away. For a man! I will NOT let that happen to me, no matter what else happens.”
Sousuke sighed. This was difficult. The words he needed came to him, but he felt like a hypocrite. With so many issues of his own to deal with, should he be trying to lecture anyone else? Perhaps he was talking to his own needs as well.
“A warrior must bring up his sense of values. He must consider deeply what is worthwhile.” Sousuke saw the look in the young woman’s eye at the use of the word ’he.’ “She must know others’ pain. Before one should judge another’s actions, he or she should try to realize the reason for those actions. You should not judge your sister based on your own values. You should not judge yourself without perceiving the true root of your behavior.”
“My SISTER…” Motoko was cut off by Sousuke.
“Your sister does indeed highlight your weakness as I understand it. If your friends’ account of you was in error, then perhaps I am wrong as well. It will be for you to decide. In thinking of your sister, you need to distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters. For yourself, you need to understand that you are not your sister, and have no obligation to live your life in a manner you believe she abandoned.”
“You do NOT understand!” Motoko’s hands were tight fists. Her arms were rigid and her body trembled. “My sister was the greatest warrior our family had seen in generations. It was her duty to be the head of the Divinity School of Swordsmanship. She selfishly threw…that…all…away.”
“Another thing a warrior must do is develop intuitive judgement and understanding for everything. I myself suffer in this regard. That is my burden to bear. Yet, I believe I have seen into the depth of you and come away with an answer. Your sister’s act was not selfish, it was courageous. The choice of a true warrior. She did not cling falsely to someone else’s expectations. When she realized her own path, she had the strength to follow it.”
“No! But…” Motoko’s mind scattered in so many directions, like a group of butterflies in a gust of wind.
“The selfish one was you.” Sousuke saw the dawn of understanding in her eyes. “You had a vision of what your sister needed to be. You are afraid to disappoint that imaginary sister, the one that exists only in your mind. You believe deep inside that your true sister failed you and that image. You are afraid that you will do the same, wasting your abilities, and avoiding your duty.” Sousuke decide to take thinks one step further. “I will offer this supposition: the Divinity School of Swordsmanship is better off not having a headmistress whose heart was not in that role.”
“I…I…”
“Keitaro may seem like a weakling and a fool, but he has talents that I myself lack. He has already shown you the truth about appearances. The dress that you once wore did not make you weak. You defeated a fiercesome foe clad in that fashion. He showed you kindness when you treated him with contempt. That was a strength that many people lack.”
Motoko hung her head. “Yes.”
“He has also shown you that love is a strength, not a weakness. You need not fear love. Be thankful that you may some day grow to understand it.” It was Sousuke’s turn to hang his head. “There is nothing I have to teach you about that. It is one of my great failings, as others perceive me. I am not afraid of love. I do not know if I can feel it. I do not know if I can feel much of anything.”
Motoko stood stunned. He was clearly a warrior, and he did not fear love. He mourned his inability to love. She felt her heart begin to thaw. He truly had been trying to help her. This was difficult for him.
“Thank you.” She blushed. “But I think you go against one of the philosophies. Do not think dishonestly. You DO have some feelings for Kaname Chidori, don’t you?” She saw his reaction. It was reassuring. He was a proven soldier, and he was uncertain.
“Uh---”
“Yes.” Motoko felt as if she were developing a bond with the young mercenary.
The two of them were silent for a while, each immersed in his or her own thoughts.
Motoko broke the silence. “Turtles.” She shuddered when she said the word.
Sousuke remained silent, looking at her face, waiting. She continued. “I am afraid of turtles. I cannot control that fear. How can I be a warrior? Conquer the self, and you will conquer the opponent. If I cannot face a small turtle, how can I remain confident that I will not fail when I face a more important challenge?” She reached her hand towards her sword, but could not bring herself to take it up.
Standing, Sousuke reached down to pick up the sword. “The sword is not just a blade. Each piece plays a part. To make use of the blade, you must accept the hilt.” He ran his hand over the smooth dark inlays. “Beautiful craftsmanship. A true work of art. It should not be thrown away.” Motoko got the impression that he was talking about the sword, but not only the sword. She felt the blood rush to her face. “Do you see my point?”
“Yes. But…”
“An unpolished crystal does not shine. An undisciplined samurai does not have brilliance. You cannot control an irrational fear. You can attempt to control your reactions. Yours fears and aversions are part of you. You need not embrace them; but, you must accept them.”
Sousuke threw the sword. Motoko caught it, forcing herself to maintain her grip.
“I will leave you now. I shall look for a suitable replacement door. Like everyone else under this roof, you have matters to think about. The battle will not wait for your decision.” Souske nodded to Motoko, then walked out into the hallway.
Kaname was standing there, waiting.
“Kaname?”
“I’m very proud of you, Sousuke. “ Her look was tender, almost amazed. “In some ways you are so wise. Who would think it, since you are so clueless about so many things.” She smiled. “That was a wonderful thing that you did there.”
“Kaname, I was simply being a good soldier. We need all of the fighters that we can find.” There was a truth in what he said. The falsehood resided with the words he did not say.
“I see.” It was obvious that Kaname was not convinced. She walked up closer, acting nonchalant. “Oh, and about your trouble understanding your feelings? Don’t worry. I’m certain there is some girl somewhere who will be willing to wait….”
“Uh---”
“You are dismissed, soldier.” Kaname walked slowly down the hallway, emphasizing the movement of her hips. She stopped to toss her hair, then disappeared down the stairs.
“Uh---”
************************************************************
More coming for part nine.