[FIC]Definitions of Sanity, part 1
Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 2:02 am
The smoke had cleared from the gymnasium. The strong odor of zinc chloride still permeated the room. The firemen and rescue team were relieved to find out it was only a false alarm. They were exceedingly unhappy that it was another false alarm. Gym teachers and students were resigned to their fate, but by no means surprised. The janitor mumbled words under his breath that are best not repeated.
The school principal was livid.
“What happened here? And why today of all days? We’re holding the regional volleyball tournament here tomorrow!” Mr. Ichibara was new to the job. He had been assigned to the school one week earlier, but his coronary arteries and gastric ulcer all swore he must have been there a whole year already.
“There was a large dense cloud of noxious smoke, sir.” Mr. Murabi held out a discolored smoke grenade. “We found this.”
Mr. Ichibara found himself unable to speak for a moment. His whole body shook. The veins at his temples bulged, ready to burst. His hands became rigid claws. He knew who was responsible. It could be no one else. “Whose……is……THAT!!!”
Sousuke stepped out of the milling group of students, his posture erect and eyes looking straight forward. “Sir, it is now the property of the sanitation engineer. It is entirely safe. It does not require an expert in ordinance removal.!”
Many of the students laughed. Kaname looked for something to throw at Sousuke. Mr. Murabi wiped his forehead.
Sighing, Mr. Ichibara wondered why he had taken this job. Was the money really worth it? “Let me rephrase the question. Whose WAS that?”
“It was mine, SIR!” Sousuke stood at attention.
“Why am I not surprised, Mr. Sagara?” It was a rhetorical question. Sousuke did not view it that way.
“Because you are an astute leader, sir. I fail to see why many of the teachers have referred to you as a chowder head.” Sousuke stood at parade rest.
Mr. Murabi used all of his willpower to keep from snickering. The students were far less considerate. The sound of their combined laughter was deafening. The janitor had to shout to hear his own cursing.
Mr. Ichibara was beet red. He could barely stutter. When his face had the complexion of a tomato, he was able to force out “But……….why……….did……….you……….use……….it?” He let out a long breath, his normal coloration returning. “Can you give me even ONE reason that makes any sense?”
“Sir, it was for Miss Chidori’s sake.” Sousuke spoke the truth without thinking about the consequences. Kaname’s eyes glowed with demonic fury.
“How? Did Miss Chidori ask you to use the smoke grenade?” Mr. Ichibara’s voice was practically dripping with sarcasm.
“No sir,” Sousuke snapped out his answer briskly, standing at attention again. “Her own skills at recognizing hazardous situations are woefully lacking. At times she can be rather obtuse.”
Kyouko was glad she had brought her camera to gym class. Kaname was trying to pull a metal bar off of the wall. She was grunting like a boar going full tilt after a truffle.
“Of course. I can see that.” Mr. Ichibara jumped when the sound of a dropped piece of metal echoed about the cavernous room. “What was the hazardous situation, Mr. Sagara?”
“Sir, she was at risk of positional asphyxia. That alone did not require the cover of smoke. However, having watched the progression of events, I could not entirely exclude the possibility of a an exceedingly clever conspiracy. No one could have suspected the perpetrators. It would have looked like an accident. I needed to remove Miss Chidori unseen, in case someone intended to take things a step further.” Sousuke was pleased with his efficient report.
Mr. Ichibara felt the burning sensation in his gut again. He grimaced, realizing that he had left his antacids back at his desk. “I’m trying very hard to be patient, Mr. Sagara,” he managed to grunt out between clenched teeth. “You have one more opportunity to make sense out of all this, or you and Miss Chidori will be spending time with me in my office after class today.”
Kaname turned as white as a she as she mouthed the word ME?, her eyes very wide.
“I will keep things simple, sir. Not everyone here is a specialist like you and myself. I had been observing Miss Chidori, alert for any sign of peril. She was the center bottom person on a fifteen person pyramid. The structure had been performed without a single slip or poorly timed movement. I was not concerned. But, then I caught sight of suspicious activity. One girl placed her hand out, missing Kaname’s shoulder, even though it was not moving. She gave way. The entire group of girls fell on top of Miss Chidori and was laying on top of each other laughing. There was a strong possibility that---”
“I was laughing too, you MORON!!!” Kaname was red in the face, hands at her hips.
“Kaname, please do not interupt. I do, however, appreciate your attempt to prove my point.” Kyouko took shot after shot of the progression of looks passing across Kaname’s face. “Miss Chidori’s laughter was indeed inappropriate. Frighteningly so. Laughter in the face of danger could have been a sign of severe oxygen starvation. There was little time before she suffered irreversible anoxic brain injury. For that---”
“SOUSUKE!!! Keep it up and YOU will be suffering irreversible brain injury.” Kaname had the iron bar again.
Sousuke walked up close to Mr. Ichibara, speaking quietly so not to be overheard. “Miss Chidori’s actions support my conjecture, sir. In some studies, oxygen deprivation in mice or other small rodents has resulted in violent behavior.”
“Really?” Mr. Ichibara caught himself. “Mr. Sagara, that does not explain why she pushed an entire cabinet of instruments on you in music class yesterday, or why she broke an expensive globe on your head in history class the day before that.” He caught himself again. “And none of that explains today’s tragedy in the least. Can’t you see why I am so furious?”
“You have been holding your breath out of bad temper, Sir. That could lead to a shortage of oxygen.”
“AARRGGHH! Enough. My heart can’t take any more of this. You. Miss Chidori. My office. After school.” With that, Mr. Ichibara strode quickly from the room. “Conspiracies. Perpetrators. Intentional accidents. Smoke grenades. OXYGEN DEPRIVATION.”
Ever helpful, Sousuke called out “Mr. Ichibara, there is an oxygen cylinder in the nurse’s office.” Watching the man run out of the room after that, he felt a feeling of satisfaction, knowing he had helped.
“Funny you should mention the nurse’s office, Sousuke.”
Sousuke turned around. Kaname was there. She had a blunt instrument in her hand.
************************************************************
After entering the posh office, Sousuke introduced himself and immediately took one of the offered chairs in front of a large polished mahogany desk.
Kaname went straight over to a wall covered by framed diplomas and certificates. “They certainly look real. I’m assuming that these cannot be purchased, counterfeited, or stolen.” Inwardly, she cursed. Now he’s got me thinking like HIM. The halisen tapped against her leg as her arm twitched involuntarily.
“Yes, Miss Chidori, I can assure they are real. If you are truly concerned, I can give you the telephone number for the regional referral office, or can put you in touch with the registrar at my training school.” Dr. Wakinabe was a middle-aged man with piercing eyes and a lop-sided smile. A large scar ran from his mouth to his chin, a souvenir of his days on the street as a youth.
“No, no. That’s not necessary. It’s not as if we’re here on my behalf, any way. If that military otaku isn’t worried, why should I care?” Kaname sat down next to Sousuke, giving him a nasty look before turning her back to him altogether.
Dr. Wakinabe scribbled some words on a large notepad.
“Sousuke, the telephone call from Mr. Ichibara was near incoherent at times. I shouldn’t say this, but it almost seems as if he has serious anxiety issues. He insisted that I do a thorough examination of you, for the good of the entire school. I was able to make out the words gym, smoke, conspiracy, perpetrators, pyramid, and oxygen. An interesting set of words, to say the least. Hopefully you will help shed some light on the situation.” Dr. Wakinabe leaned back in his chair, pad on his lap.
“I shall do my best, sir!” Sousuke was sitting ramrod straight in his chair. This was a professional he was reporting to. A specialist.
“Good, good. I’m happy to hear that. First, Miss Chidori, I thank you for escorting Sousuke here. But, as this is a personal meeting, one requiring the strictest confidentiality, I will need to ask you to have a seat in the waiting area. The receptionist will bring you refreshments if you like. The selection of reading material is rather extensive..”
Kaname’s face went through a series of expressions. Shock at being asked to leave. Acceptance, once she realized the validity of the request. Exuberance when she thought about free time without Sousuke dogging her steps. Disappointment, when she realized that she might be missing out on some choice stuff. “Certainly, doctor.” She rose from her seat, but stopped when Sousuke’s hand touched her wrist lightly.
“Sir, I have no problem with Miss Chidori staying in the room with us. There may be important things for her to hear and come to terms with, that I would be unlikely to tell her in other situations. As you mentioned confidentiality, and you are a professional of the highest order, I will confide in you the fact that I have been assigned to serve as her bodyguard. However, despite my trust in you, I can be no more precise than that.” Sousuke’s look was very intense.
Dr. Wakinabe tapped one finger against his cheek for a few moments, looking from Sousuke to kaname and back again. “Bodyguard? I see from your look and her reaction, that there is some truth behind that. Or, at the very least, the two of you believe there is. Your request is highly irregular, Sousuke. We will be discussing things that are very personal, things which people of all ages often find embarrassing. I have the impression that your word is important to you. I will need you to promise me that you would answer every question in the same manner you would have if Miss Chidori was not here. The whole interview would be invalid if you were to purposefully lie or withhold important feelings or information.”
“Sir, it is not a problem. I am quite capable of….” Sousuke was cut off.
“Not a problem?” Kaname was standing, halisen grasped in her hand. “What makes you think that I want to hear anything about a Moody Military maniac. It’s enough that you have to follow me everywhere I go, blowing things up, getting me in trouble, ruining my life. She stood up and headed for the door. “Doctor, do me a favor. Cure him real fast, or have him certified as insane and unable to attend school. You would be doing me a big favor.”
Dr. Wakinabe was quiet as he watched Kaname, listening to her vent.
“Sir, I apologize for Miss Chidori. It has been a trying day for her. Physical trauma and oxygen deprivation.” Sousuke sat back in his chair, arms firmly grasping the sides.
Dr. Wakinabe opened his mouth to answer, but waited too long.
“Sousuke! Enough with that NONSENSE.” Kaname slapped the fan against her leg. “On second thought, I’m not going anywhere.” She walked over and sat down in her chairm after pulling it another three feet away from Sousuke. “No telling what sort of stupid things he will say, believing they are true.”
“Well then, now that everything is settled, let’s begin. Are you both comfortable? It’s very important that you are. I can have different chairs brought in, or you may recline on the couch.” Dr. Wakinabe waved his arm towards a leather couch alongside of his desk, the elevated arm near his chair.
“Doctor, I can’t be comfortable anywhere he is, but I’ve been through many tough times, so I will survive. You don’t have to worry about him. He’s just as comfortable sleeping under a bed as he is laying on rocky ground. He’s the cause of everyone else’s discomfort!” Kaname’s lips were pressed hard together.
“Tough time? I see. I’m sorry to hear that. Sousuke, hearing no complaints from you, let’s start of by discussing the occurrence in the gym. What happened. Why it happened. The thought processes that went through your mind. After that, we will delve into your past, and for completeness sake, go through a number of psychological tests. “
“By your command, sir.”
“OK, Sousuke, in your own words, can you….” Dr. Wakinabe was interrupted.
“Doctor, before we begin, you are not a medical doctor, are you?” Kaname sat forward in her chair, chin in her hand. “You cannot prescribe Sousuke tranquilizers or something? Are you qualified to give him tests or interpret the results? I don’t want any technicalities here. I don’t want Sousuke to have any excuses.”
Dr. Wakinabe scribbled on his pad some more. He opened his mouth to speak, but was trumped again again.
“What exactly are you writing down Doctor, Sousuke hasn’t even started speaking yet.” There was a touch of heat in Kaname’s voice.
“To answer your last question, Miss Chidori, I will not divulge my notes. I will say however, that I may be recording facts, writing down possible questions, or simply doodling if it helps me in my thought process. I would hope that you will allow me to carry out my interview here without too many interruptions.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Kaname blushed.
“Thank you. You are not alone, Miss Chidori. Many people are confused about the difference between psychiatry and psychology. I am a psychologist, not a psychiatrist.” Dr. Wakinabe rolled his chair back a couple of inches, assuming a pedantic tone of voice. I do not hold a medical degree, and did not go through any form of medical training. Psychiatrists tend to focus on the use of medications for treatment, but are not required to train in psychoanalysis or psychotherapy as psychologists are. I personally hold a Ph.D from a professional school, and have served as a Clinical Psychologist for a number of esteemed institutions. I did my doctoral dissertation on childhood traumas. I have acquired significant skill in analyzing information and drawing conclusions from psychological sessions. I am certainly qualified to evaluate Sousuke.”
“I will trust in your judgement, Doctor.” Kaname felt sheepish.
“I’m glad to hear that. I believe my judgement is pretty good. But I will pass along a little wisdom. Good judgement comes from experience. A lot of experience comes as the result of bad judgement.” Dr. Wakinabe sagely nodded his head.
Both Sousuke and Kaname could identify with what he just said.
With Kaname remaining relatively silent, Sousuke went on to describe the events of the other day. He answered all subsequent questions promptly and in amazing detail. From moment to moment, Kaname didn’t know whether she felt like she was trapped in a war movie, a psychological thriller, a comedy, or a C-grade flick.
“Based on your judgment and your level of concern, I can see no real psychopathology behind your actions, Sousuke. Though I will repeat my lesson on good judgment and bad judgment, if need be.” Dr. Wakinabe was thrilled to have such an interesting patient.
“Please, Doctor. Repeat it. Early and often. It would help if you tattooed the saying on each of his otaku hands.” Kaname was not thrilled.
“I understand, doctor” Sousuke said seriously. “I have received this lecture before, from my superiors. But, I grew up in a land where too much time spent in thinking often added to the number or corpses. I cannot allow myself to allow serious injury to befall Miss Chidori.”
“SOUSUKE!!! More often than not, you are the cause of serious injuries!” Kaname fought the urge to swing the halisen.
“There have been no fatalities. And, you are still alive.”
“There have not been any fatalities YET. And just what sort of life do I have with you around? I have to wonder how long it’s going to be before I go crazy!” Kaname’s look was frightening.
“Miss Chidori, please take a seat.” Kaname sat down with bad grace at Dr. Wakinabe’s request. “Sousuke, let’s discuss that land you grew up in. Start with your earliest childhood memories, and bring me forward to the present day. Please, if any area is too difficult to diacuss, at least give me an indication that there are items you wish to skip for now.”
“His first memories probably have to do with sucking on his mother’s machine gun or learning potty training in a mine field! He probably even had a rank when he was born!” Kaname zipped her lip when Dr. Wakinabe stared at her.
Sousuke went on to give a thourough recounting of his life, leaving out any direct reference to Mithril. Dr. Wakinabe filled in a full pad with his notes. Kaname was buffeted by moments of shock, horror, sympathy, disbelief, and even pride. A number of times, she had to hold a tissue to her eyes.
“I thought I had more than my fair share of problems. Sousuke, you….” Kaname spoke up when Sousuke finished, but found that words couldn’t explain the miasma of pain and sorrow that ebbed and flowed within her.
Dr. Wakinabe had long since ceased to be surprised or astounded. “Sousuke, there are certainly a lot of things we could discuss. I will say this. You have come out remarkably intact for someone who was faced with such difficult situations. I suspect you will continue to have a hard time adjusting to the civilized world, but I expect you will continue to learn and grow successfully. I do not think it will be easy, however---for you, for those around you, or for those who stand in your way.”
“AMEN!” Kaname exclaimed louder than she had intended. She bowed her head upon seeing Dr. Wakinabe’s look of anger.
“If need be, we can continue in this vein at a later date. At this time Sousuke, I would like to move on to a number of different types of tests, if you agree.” Dr. Wakinabe put his pad down on his desk top and poured himself a glass of water. “You make take a moment to stretch, or to ask the receptionist for a beverage or light snack.”
“I will do whatever you think best, sir.” Sousuke was impressed with the psychologist’s demeanor and attention to details.
“I suppose I will have to help you study for your tests, as always. If you flunk life, Sousuke, don’t come crying to me.” Kaname folded both her arms across her chest.
************************************************************
“Sousuke, is Miss Chidori always so…forceful, and energetic?” Dr. Watanabe was walking around his office rearranging the order of some of his textbooks. Kaname had left the room to “freshen up.”
“Sir, she is somewhat subdued today. I think that is out of deference to you.” Sousuke was sitting cross-legged on the floor, relaxing.
“Oh. Subdued. I see.” The psychologist’s eyebrows rose as far as they could go. “So, she is more…expressive, when the two of you are alone?”
“Yes, sir, she is. I think she is very in touch with her feelings. She is also very generous with her criticisms and suggestions for improvement. Unfortunately, many of her suggestions are anatomically impossible, or at odds with my assigned mission.”
“I can understand that. Yes. Your commanding officers must have faith in your abilities, or are set on you learning through further hardship.” Dr. Wakinabe patted Sousuke on the shoulder.”
“Sir?”
The door opened. Kaname entered, looking both men in the face sequentially. “You weren’t talking about ME, were you?” Not getting an answer, she retrieved her halisen. “Hmmppff.
A trained professional, Dr. Wakinabe kept from grinning. Picking up his pad, he wrote a quick note.
“Before we get started with any testing, I would like to speak to the issue of diversity and standardization. There is a tremendous amount of diversity amongst any culture. A number of distinct dynamics play a role in creating each unique individual. The earliest things in our lives have the greatest impact on us, but it is the later influences that result in the greatest amount of difference among people. That being said, as each of us grows---unless we make a radical change or experience a significant trauma---we become more and more consistent in our way of thinking and reacting. It gives credence to the adage that it is difficult to teach an old dog new tricks. And….” Dr. Wakinabe frowned, interrupted again.
“Great. Thanks for the cheerful thought. I get the significant trauma of dealing with the ultimate otaku, and he is likely to keep acting the same crazy way? The only way you could make me happier is if you can direct me to the nearest bridge!” Kaname pouted after tossing her hair.
Dr. Wakinabe opened his drawer and took out a small packet. “Gum?” He offered chewing gum to his visitors. Kaname accepted. Sousuke did not. “As I was saying, personal growth is not linear, but is heavily weighted towards the front end of one’s life. The older one gets, the less he is to personality modification. The dynamics that a person tended to use earlier in life---physiological, psychological, social, and cultural---will provide a strong and significant undercurrent to his ongoing interaction with the environment. That being said, at your age Sousuke, there is still an opportunity to affect significant change over time, should such change seem to be particularly advantageous for you or society as a whole.”
“Hallelujah!” Kaname continued to chew her gum with demonic fervor.
“But, before we can determine if there are any issues serious enough to need attention, I want to return to my first point. Diversity. Within a given culture, and across different cultures, there are various traits that can each be considered ‘normal.’ There are also certain traits that will within context be considered ‘abnormal.’ Some behaviors will cross the line and be considered ‘pathological.’ There are various ways to evaluate a person, and some work better in certain situations. The problem inherent in many forms of evaluation is that they are looking to establish abnormality, not confirm normalcy. But, in experienced hands, significant assessments can be made.”
“Doctor, is there any culture where it is considered normal to blow up school lockers, set booby traps for Art class, or run around going Fumo fumo fumoffu?”
Dr. Wakinabe opened a file cabinet and extracted a number of hanging folders. He did not respond to Kaname’s question. Opening the folders, he began sorting papers into a number of different piles.
“Or, is there any context where a normal person would jump out of a moving train, leap off a cliff with a large balloon, or get into gun battles with wacked-out police officers?”
Dr. Wakinabe walked over to a personal computer and turned it on. He flashed through a number of folders until he reached the one he wanted, bringing up a screening test. He paid no more attention to Kaname’s last question than he did the one before it.
“Shooting watermelons with a shotgun, blind-folded? Riding his bicycle off a steep hill with a girl on back? Fighting with karate guys? Kissing some other girl without her permission?” Kaname was obviously miffed at being ignored. “Hmmmpppfff!” The look she gave Sousuke had ominous implications.
After handing Sousuke a set of papers, the psychologist returned to his seat. “We’ll start off with some written screening tests. After that, I would like to see your response to the Rorschach test. The final test will be done on the office computer. Are you ready, or do you need something to drink or a chance to visit the restroom?”
“I am ready, sir.”
“Good. I would like you to read each question aloud to start with. Then, I would like you to pencil the answer ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ If you are uncertain, we can discuss the question further. Please begin with the top sheet and continue until all of the questions have been completed.
“Do you suspect that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving you?” Sousuke read the question. He picked up the pencil he was given.
“That’s a ‘yes,’ Sousuke. Definitely. I know that I always feel that way.” Kaname knew that this type of question would paint Sousuke as some kind of maniac for sure.
“No.” Sousuke filled in the circle next to ‘No.’
“WHAT?!!” Kaname brought her halisen down hard on her chair arm.
“Miss Chidori, please. Let Sousuke answer as he sees fit.” Dr. Wakinabe scribbled some more notes.
“But…But…” Kaname finally gave up and scowled.
“Do you persistently bear grudges and not forget insults or injuries?” Sousuke took a moment to think.
“Another ‘yes,’ Sergeant Denial. I know you bear the same grudges that I do. Pony man. Shirai. The crazy janitor. Crazed killers.” Kaname nodded her head. “Don’t get me started on injuries.”
“No. I seek to remove problems and to complete missions, but I do not obsess over insults.” He filled in another ‘No.’
“Sousuke, you MORON!!! You’re going to foul up the test. You better not do that to me. Be honest.” Kaname was turning pink in the face. She accidentally swallowed her gum.
“Do you experience recurrent strange day dreams or fantasies?” Sousuke thought a bit. “Doctor, would recurring nightmares about past traumatic events count?”
“No, Sousuke. That is something entirely different.” The psychologist was watching Kaname, not Sousuke.
“Sousuke, you are a recurring strange day dream! You know you spend all day thinking up conspiracies and threats. You probably dream about Arm Slave battles day and night.” Kaname practically dared Sousuke to gainsay her.
“No.”
“BAKA!!!” Kaname brought the halisen down sharply on Sousuke’s head, making his pencil slide across his paper. Her face was a bright red.
“Do you have continuous feelings of emptiness?” Sousuke and Kaname each answered the question for themselves simultaneously: “Yes.” Kaname looked away and blushed.
“Are you preoccupied with unlimited success or ideal love?” While Sousuke shook his head and filled in the circle, Dr. Wakinabe spoke directly to Kaname.
“Kaname, would you like to answer that question?”
“No. No, doctor. This test is for Sousuke.” Her face was pale.
“Do you feel uncomfortable in situations where you are not the center of attention?” Sousuke answered his own question “no.”
Kaname continued to look away.
“Have you been cruel to people or animals?” Sousuke pondered the meaning of ‘cruel’ against the context of his life and profession.
“If you don’t put down ‘yes’ to that one Sousuke, I’ll never trust you again! Trying to flush a boy’s head down a toilet. Kneeing a gangster in the groin with a Bonta-Kun suit. Blowing up a girl’s love letter. Interogations. Killing. You are NOT kind and considerate like me.” Kaname’s eyes flashed.
“No. I am not cruel.”
“Wrong!” Kaname brought the halisen down on Sousuke’s head again. Then on his shoulder. Then across the back. “How can I believe another word you say to me?” Her face turned a remarkable shade of scarlet.
“Kaname. It is not a problem. You tend to believe whatever you want to believe.”
Dr. Wakinabe was busy writing.
After finishing with the test that screened for Personality Disorders, Sousuke continued on with the questions that looked for evidence of Sexual Disorders. There were four possible amswers to each entry: ‘not at all’…’some of the time’…’frequently’…and ‘almost always.’
“I think or fantasize about sex.” Sousuke looked flustered. It was his turn to blush.
Kaname looked on eagerly. She wouldn’t let herself believe she cared about the answer. It would be fun just to watch Sousuke wriggle like a worm on a hook.
“Uh.” Sousuke tried to answer.
“Uh.” Again, unsuccessful.
“Uh.”
“Come on Sousuke, spit it out!!!” Kaname was gripping the arms of her chair. She had dropped the halisen.
“Miss Chidori, am I going to have to ask you to wait outside?” Dr. Wakinabe’s voice was stern.
“No sir. Sorry. I beg your pardon.”
“Some of the time.” Sousuke answered, not able to look the psychologist in the eyes.
Kaname looked surprised.
“Uh. I am able to get an erection. Uh.” Sousuke knew the answer. If he didn’t then, he would most every morning when he woke up.
“Well, NOT when a pretty girl goes out and buys a sexy new white bikini and wears it to the beach. Hmmmpppfff!!!” Kaname stuck out her lower lip. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and shuffled her feet.
“Frequently.”
Kaname almost slid out of her seat.
“Are you alright, Miss Chidori? Is something bothering you?” Dr. Wakinabe hid a smile when he asked.
“Uh…” It was Kaname’s turn to be inarticulate.
Sousuke plowed ahead bravely. “I engage in masturbation more than I feel is normal.” Kaname never heard the answer. She had closed her eyes and placed both fingers in her ears. There were some things she just did not need to know.
Sousuke managed to finish with the Sexual questions without passing out. It was one of the most difficult missions he had faced in a long while. He managed to get through the questions screening for Depression without any explosions from Kaname or beatings with the halisen. The final sety of questions had to deal with Anxiety. Answer format was ‘Yes or No.’
“Do you feel you worry excessively about many things?” Sousuke asked the psychologist for the definition of ‘excessively’ in the setting of the test. He wanted clarification on the difference between ‘worrying’ and ‘being concerned about.’
“The answer is a colossal ‘YES,’ Sousuke. You don’t need to ask all of those questions. Sheesh, do I have to answer your questions for you?” Kaname did not believe in the principal of inertia. A body at rest did not necessarily tend to remain at rest.
“No. I have legitimate concerns that come with my position. That is not the same as worrying.”
“Bullshit.” Kaname very rarely swore. When she did, she usually blushed and offered an immediate apology. Usually. “You worry about shoeboxes. You worry about girls getting dressed in their private locker room. You worry about canisters of unknown substances. You worry about busts made for an Art project. You worry about a girl going on a date with an old crush. You worry about gangsters, terrorists, kidnapping, killing, molestation, explosions, gunshots, strangers…everything.” Kaname was short of breath, but continued. “I worry myself sick worrying about all YOUR worrying. Your answer worries me most of all!!!
The only sound in the room was Kaname’s heavy breathing.
Sousuke looked down at his paper. Dr. Wakinabe had so much to write down, he had difficulty of choosing his first item.
“Should I continue now, sir?”
“It would almost seem anticlimactic…” Dr. Wakinabe was busy scribbling.
“Sir?”
“Oh! Sorry. Yes, please continue Sousuke.”
Sousuke made the mistake of looking over at Kaname. She had picked up the halisen. She did not look happy.
“Do you experience sensations of shortness of breath, palpitations, or shaking at rest?” Sousuke quickly answered ‘No’ and filled in the corresponding circle.
Kaname was shaking. Her heart was pounding against her chest. Her breath coming in ragged gasps.
“Do you feel that you will be in a place or a situation from which you feel that you will not be able to escape.” Sousuke thought a moment. “No. That situation may very well occur, but I do not fear the occurrence.”
Kaname froze like a deer in a car’s headlights. Her eyes were glued to Sousuke. She was entirely rigid. Three words kept tumbling through her head: ’Sousuke’ and ’no escape.’
Dr. Wakinabe looked on with interest.
“Do you persistently relive an upsetting event from the past?” Sousuke quickly answered ‘Yes.’
Kaname closed her eyes and bowed her head.
“Do you avoid social situations because of feelings of fear?” Sousuke answered ‘No’ to that question.
Kaname mumbled under her breath. “I avoid social situations because of Sousuke.”
After they finished with the last of the questionnaires, Dr. Wakinabe took a deep breath an stood up. “Can I trust you two alone in this room? After all that, I find that I need a short break.”
************************************************************
Before Dr. Wakinabe returned to the room, Kaname made certain to pick up all of the items she had thrown at Sousuke. She thought she had done a good job, but there were so many books, paperweights, coffee cups, and desk utensils laying around, it was hard to remember each and every placement. She spat on a bronze bust of Sigmund Freud, polishing it with the tail of her blouse. Maybe he won’t notice the dent.
Sousuke sat in his chair, waiting patiently. A trickle of blood ran down near his ear. This confrontation barely rated a ‘Kaname Class 1’ by usual standards.
After shutting off the close-circuit TV, Dr. Wakinabe poured himself a third cup of coffee. He had taken the other two black. This one would be no different.
Squaring his shoulders, he headed back to his office.
************************************************************
The simplest reactions can tell a trained observer something. Dr. Wakinabe walked into his office in a nonchalant fashion. The first thing he did was walk over to one of his end tables. “Hmm, I thought this ashtray was over there. He stole a glance at Kaname, holding back a grin when he saw her twitch. “And this letter opener, I always have it on the left side.” He looked again. Kaname was pretending to be engrossed with the Middle Eastern Tapestry on the near wall. “Ah well, either I’m getting senile, or the maid has been taking creative liberties.” Standing between Sousuke and Kaname, he remarked “Well, it’s nice to see that the two of you can get along when you try. I expected my room to look like a war zone.” Sousuke’s face was blank, unmoved. Kaname was reading the fine print on her halisen.
“Is there anything either of you wants to tell me? Something you would like to get off your chest? No? OK, let’s get down to business again.” He sat back down in his chair. He stared at his bust of Sigmund Freud, then picked it up. Kaname dropped her halisen, “We’ve finished the screening tests. The remaining tests fall into three categories: Trait Analysis, Psychopathology, and Psychological types. We’ll do the Rorschach for the second categorie, and something called the Murray Appraisal Process or M.A.P. for the third. First, we’ll do a little testing based on a dominant personality theory. The Big-5 factors “theory” breaks the personality into five major factors.” He began to rub his hand over the bronze sculpture. “Hmmm. I wonder how this dent got here?”
Kaname smiled. “Errr…Sounds very interesting, Doctor!”
“Really? I’ve always found it a bit tedious myself, and merely descriptive, but it does explain things sometimes. It is particularly good at providing insight on how two people differ, and how that diffrence may result in the way the treat one another.”
“Oh.” Kaname snuck a glance at Sousuke, who was patiently listening.
“I must commend you, Miss Chidori. You have sat through a lot today, on the behalf of your fellow student and at the request of your principal. Let’s make this interesting for you, two. A have a pair of forms here. You can fill out one as well. There are only three hundred total items.”
Kaname’s face went blank at the mention of “three hundred.” Sousuke sat quietly,unperturbed.
“All you need to do is check off one of five items on the rating scale: very inaccurate, moderately inaccurate, neither accut=rate or inaccurate, moderately accurate, or very accurate. Describe yourself honestly, as you see yourself, in relationship to other people you know of your same sex, of roughly the same age. Since you thought it all sounded interesting, I though you’de jump at the opportunity.” Dr. Wakinabe put the Sigmund Freud bronze down on the edge of the desk, directly in front of Kaname.
Sousuke and Kaname got to work. The questions seemed endless. Sousuke calmly applied himself to the task, answering questions with metronomical precision. Kaname scratched her head, squirmed around in her chair, bit the end off of her pencil eraser, and straightened her skirt numerous times.
Worry about things
Make friends easily
Have a vivid imagination
Get angry easily
Like order
Trust others
Often feel blue
Experience my emotions intensely
Take charge
Make people welcome
Am easily intimidated
Go straight to the goal
Often eat too much
Love excitement
Dislike being the center of attention
Panic easily
Radiate joy
Fear for the worst
Believe that others have good intentions
Like music
Stick to the rules
Feel other’s emotions
Like to visit new places
Seek adventure
Become overwhelmed by event
Chose my words with care
And so forth, and so on.
Soon after they had both started, Kaname started checking on the answers that Sousuke gave.
“Sousuke, you don’t make friends, you wait for them to be assigned! I attract friends like a magnet.”
“Sousuke, you don’t believe that there is an absolute right or an absolute wrong, you only believe there is an alive and a dead! I know right from wrong.”
“Sousuke, you never choose you words with care, like me. You’ve annoyed or frightened every single member of the school board and half the student body. Probably half of Tokyo, too!”
“Sousuke, you don’t sympathize with the homeless, you create the homeless.”
“Sousuke, you better be very careful how you answer the question about believing in the importance of art.” The halisen was in her hand, and Kaname’s hand was poised over Sousuke’s head.
When they were both done, Dr. Wakinabe fed the answer forms into a machine on his desk. The ratings were tallied, computations were performed, and the results were printed. The psychologist put the papers in two separate folders with their names on them.
“Wait a minute, Doctor. You can’t leave it at that. Can’t we know the results?
“Uh….” Dr. Wakinabe looked for the most effective words. “Uh….” Well, the results were only worth so much in themselves, but his visitors' reactions to the results might be instructive. “If you wish.”
“Good. I got you beat, Sousuke!” Kaname smiled, leaned back in her chair, and started humming a happy tune.
“Let’s start with NEUROTICISM and the proneness to psychological distress, excessive cravings or urges, and unrealistic ideas. Sousuke, your score is low, that characteristically indicates that you are calm, secure, unemotional, and relaxed. Miss Chidori, your score is rather high, suggesting that you tend to be insecure, a worrier, emotional, and nervous.” Dr. Wakinabe picked up his pad of paper and pencil, keeping his eye on Kaname.
“EMOTIONAL? Sousuke, tell the doctor that I am NOT overly emotional!” She tapped her foot harder and harder. “SOUSUKE.”
“But Kaname, you do….”
The halisen struck and returened faster than the psychologist could see. Only the fact that Sousuke lay on the ground with a rectangular red blotch on his cheek gave any indication of what had occurred.
“Next up is EXTRAVERSION, the capacity for joy, and the need for stimulation. Sousuke, your score is low again. In this instance, it implies that you are inartistic and extremely conventional.”
“BINGO!!!” Kaname was smiling. She particularly agreed with ‘inartistic.’ She stuck out her tongue and pulled down on one bottom eyelid. “Loser!”
“Miss Chidori, your score was high again. The results would suggest that you are talkative, optimistic, sociable, and affectionate.” Kaname stood up and took a bow. “But, the test is sometimes wrong. I can see that you are very talkative, however.”
Kaname’s mouth fell open. “But…but…SOUSUKE!!!” She smacked Souske in the knee. The Doctor was not a physician, but he still took note of the perfect patellar reflex. Souske’s foot had risen fairly far, kicking the bronze bust and flinging it through a decorative window.
“Why?” Sousuke rubbed his knee before tending to his aching toe.
“Don’t be a moron, Sousuke. I couldn’t hit the doctor, could I? Besides, you should have defended me!”
“Let’s tackle OPENNESS next, along with the toleration for and exploration of the unknown. Sousuke, you scored low again. No surprise there. Unartistic and unconventional.”
“HMMPPFF. At least the test is consistent and accurate for otakus!” Kaname took out a brush and started working on her hair.
“Miss Chidori, your score was midline. You have some degree of creativity and originality. You may be curious and imaginative.”
“Yes.” That was all Kaname would venture. Sousuke looked relieved.
“AGREEABLENESS is the fourth category, along with an assessment of one’s orientation along a continuum from compassion to antagonism, in thoughts and actions. Sousuke, before we go any further, why don’t you pick up your chair and walk it over towards the wall. Ten feet to the right ought to suffice.”
“Sir?”
“Professional reasons, Sousuke.” Dr. Wakinabe saluted.
“Sir!” Sousuke moved his chair.
“Should I move too, doctor?” Kaname looked over at Sousuke.
“That’s a splendid offer, Miss Chidori. How about you move your chair ten feet to the left. Good. Thank you. Sousuke, your score was high this time. That indicates that you are good-natured, helpful, and trustful.”
Dr. Wakinabe took out a kerchief and wiped his brow. “The next category is CONSCIENTIOUSNESS. That, and the….”
“Excuse me, doctor. What about my scores?” Kaname had a suspicious look on her face.
“Miss Chidori, since you expressed doubts about this test, why don’t we just confine our discussion to Sousuke?” The psychologist double-checked to see that there was nothing valuable or irreplaceable located directly between Sousuke and Kaname. Seeing Kaname’s look, he sighed. “Very well. Miss Chidori, your score was low. In other people, that would be an indication of rudeness, uncooperative nature, and irritability.”
No one said anything for three whole minutes.
“It’s OK to continue, doctor” Kaname finally said, very sweetly. “It’s not as if I’m going to act immature or pounce on Sousuke.” Still smiling, she mumbled “at this moment.” Continuing to smile, she said “It’s not as if I am very upset to be here today, missing a number of assignments. I really don’t mind having to make up two tests. And, it doesn’t bother me that none of it was my own fault.” Her fingernails were scratching deep grooves in the wood of the chair arms.
“Commendable. Rather inspiring. As I was saying, CONSCIENTIOUSNESS is the final Factor. That, and an assessment of the degree of organization, persistence, and motivation in goal-oriented behavior. Sousuke, your score was extremely high. You are organized, neat, and very reliable. Your score was lower than Sousuke’s, Miss Chidori, but still very high. No doubt you show the same characteristics that he does.”
“Doctor, please don’t ever say I am anything like that Mindless Military Menace cowering in the corner over there. And Sousuke, you scored higher than I did. How nice.”
Sousuke had a premonition of impending doom. It was bad enough, that the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse were running away before it struck. ‘How nice’ might as well have been ‘My name is Kaname Chidori, you ruined my life, prepare to die.’
“Looking at the clock, it appears we will only have time for the Rorschach, Sousuke. If we need to do the M.A.P. or the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I can schedule another appointment. For you.” Dr. Wakinabe opened his top drawer and took out a phone book. “Why don’t the two of you take a quick walk outside and get a breath of fresh air. I need to check and see what the insurance policy on my office will pay for. I’m hoping there’s not a large deductable.”
*************************************************************
Dr. Wakinabe looked at the bust of Sigmund Freud. “Well, you old charlatan, it would be entertaining to see what you might have said about those two.” He puffed away on a big cigar, the type that Churchill used to like, and Freud as well. The smoke left through a nearby opened window. “Your model of the mind may not be correct, old man, but there certainly seems to be a lot of things at war in each of their unconscious minds. A lot of repression of painful thoughts.”
The psychologist looked out of the window. Mr. Sagara and Miss Chidori were both down below, buying drinks from a street vendor. As much as she hit Sousuke, and as much as she acted as if she wanted him gone, Kaname didn’t let him wander too far from her sight today. She had followed him outside, walking behind him as he strode along the avenue. “Well, that wasn’t entirely unsuspected.” Sousuke had handed Kaname a drink. Kaname dumped it over his head. Sousuke just stood there taking the abuse, not moving, and not putting up any kind of a fight.
That pair. They are interesting as individuals, to say the least. But, when they are together! Charcoal is generally harmless. Sulphur as well. Saltpeter. Saltpeter was once put in food by certain armies, or used to douse equipment and uniforms. People believed it would reduce the male ardor. Excess marching did a better job of that. Numbskull, your thoughts are wandering. Aside from being a minor irritant to eyes or skin, and something unwise to breath or ingest in large quantities, saltpeter---potassium nitrate---is not very dangerous. But, mix them all together in the right proportions? Be careful around sparks!
“Yes, old boy, I wager Sousuke is a mix of charcoal and sulphur. I figure Miss Chidori for the saltpeter. I’ll go even further to bet that they will either be the salvation of one another, or the destruction of each other.”
Looking out the window, Dr. Wakinabe had the cigar drop from his slack lips. He hadn’t realized that Sousuke was armed. “You don’t see that every day, do you?” Kaname’s voice had echoed up to the psychologist’s perch, the broken sound saying something about going home. She had thrown Sousuke in front of a speeding cab and shouted “TAXI!!!,” stopping the car. She was so busy with the taxi, that she didn’t see the car speeding straight for her from the other side of the street. From the ground, gunfire rang out. Tire fragments littered the sidewalk as the car swerved out of control, taking out a fire hydrant, a city mailbox, and a trash receptacle. Remarkable. Simply unbelievable. “Should I let them back in my office, you old fake? They already put a dent in you. What do they have in store for me? Maybe I should have gone into combat psychology after all!”
Dr. Wakinabe smiled. They have me talking to a bronze bust, or more precisely talking to myself. That’s alright, sometimes I think better that way. He listened again. Now Kaname was letting Sousuke have it for being so reckless to shoot a car. Priceless.
His cigar smoldering on a ledge two stories below, the psychologist decide to close his window. He had heard enough. Walking over to a painting on the wall, he found another historical figure to talk to. Emil Kraeplin. “Well Emil, I won’t tell you what Sigmund said about you. I know the psychiatrists dismiss Freud out of hand, embracing your concepts of a biological and genetic basis for psychiatric disorders. It gives them justifications for all of their drugs and their talking. But what would you think if you saw THAT pair? Could you rule out childhood trauma or parental relationships as a cause of their issues? Would you say that anyone who suspected major social and environmental causes was full of bunk? Just because Freud may have been a liar and a cheat in some ways, doesn’t mean that everything he said was wrong.”
Dr. Wakinabe stood there a few moments, lost in thought. He heard a number of voices approaching in the hallway outside his door. The voices were getting louder. It was Sousuke and Kaname.
”So, were you scared out there, Sousuke?”
“Scared, Kaname? I had no fear of the Taxi. They generally stop in time.”
“No, Sousuke. Were you scared when you saw the car heading for me?”
“Sousuke?”
“SOUSUKE!!!”
“Yes, Kaname.”
“ ‘Yes, Kaname’ WHAT?”
“I was scared, Kaname.”
“Oh.”
The voices stopped getting closer. Dr. Wakinabe was taking notes again.
”So, you were scared for ME, Sousuke?”
“Uh”
“Sousuke?”
“Uh”
“SOUSUKE!!!”
“What, Kaname?”
“Were you scared for me?”
“Why would I be scared for you, Kaname?”
“Sousuke, just say it.”
Silence again. Dr. Wakinabe was smiling.
“Say it, Sousuke!”
“Kaname, please keep your voice down. There may be patients in these other rooms. It is time to go back in the office. We do not wish to leave Dr. Wakinabe with a bad impression.”
As the door opened, Dr. Wakinabe said a short prayer. His insurance agent had not been very reassuring.
Walking back to his desk, he shook his head. Even if he were to tell someone else about all this, would they believe him?
************************************************************
End of part 1.
The school principal was livid.
“What happened here? And why today of all days? We’re holding the regional volleyball tournament here tomorrow!” Mr. Ichibara was new to the job. He had been assigned to the school one week earlier, but his coronary arteries and gastric ulcer all swore he must have been there a whole year already.
“There was a large dense cloud of noxious smoke, sir.” Mr. Murabi held out a discolored smoke grenade. “We found this.”
Mr. Ichibara found himself unable to speak for a moment. His whole body shook. The veins at his temples bulged, ready to burst. His hands became rigid claws. He knew who was responsible. It could be no one else. “Whose……is……THAT!!!”
Sousuke stepped out of the milling group of students, his posture erect and eyes looking straight forward. “Sir, it is now the property of the sanitation engineer. It is entirely safe. It does not require an expert in ordinance removal.!”
Many of the students laughed. Kaname looked for something to throw at Sousuke. Mr. Murabi wiped his forehead.
Sighing, Mr. Ichibara wondered why he had taken this job. Was the money really worth it? “Let me rephrase the question. Whose WAS that?”
“It was mine, SIR!” Sousuke stood at attention.
“Why am I not surprised, Mr. Sagara?” It was a rhetorical question. Sousuke did not view it that way.
“Because you are an astute leader, sir. I fail to see why many of the teachers have referred to you as a chowder head.” Sousuke stood at parade rest.
Mr. Murabi used all of his willpower to keep from snickering. The students were far less considerate. The sound of their combined laughter was deafening. The janitor had to shout to hear his own cursing.
Mr. Ichibara was beet red. He could barely stutter. When his face had the complexion of a tomato, he was able to force out “But……….why……….did……….you……….use……….it?” He let out a long breath, his normal coloration returning. “Can you give me even ONE reason that makes any sense?”
“Sir, it was for Miss Chidori’s sake.” Sousuke spoke the truth without thinking about the consequences. Kaname’s eyes glowed with demonic fury.
“How? Did Miss Chidori ask you to use the smoke grenade?” Mr. Ichibara’s voice was practically dripping with sarcasm.
“No sir,” Sousuke snapped out his answer briskly, standing at attention again. “Her own skills at recognizing hazardous situations are woefully lacking. At times she can be rather obtuse.”
Kyouko was glad she had brought her camera to gym class. Kaname was trying to pull a metal bar off of the wall. She was grunting like a boar going full tilt after a truffle.
“Of course. I can see that.” Mr. Ichibara jumped when the sound of a dropped piece of metal echoed about the cavernous room. “What was the hazardous situation, Mr. Sagara?”
“Sir, she was at risk of positional asphyxia. That alone did not require the cover of smoke. However, having watched the progression of events, I could not entirely exclude the possibility of a an exceedingly clever conspiracy. No one could have suspected the perpetrators. It would have looked like an accident. I needed to remove Miss Chidori unseen, in case someone intended to take things a step further.” Sousuke was pleased with his efficient report.
Mr. Ichibara felt the burning sensation in his gut again. He grimaced, realizing that he had left his antacids back at his desk. “I’m trying very hard to be patient, Mr. Sagara,” he managed to grunt out between clenched teeth. “You have one more opportunity to make sense out of all this, or you and Miss Chidori will be spending time with me in my office after class today.”
Kaname turned as white as a she as she mouthed the word ME?, her eyes very wide.
“I will keep things simple, sir. Not everyone here is a specialist like you and myself. I had been observing Miss Chidori, alert for any sign of peril. She was the center bottom person on a fifteen person pyramid. The structure had been performed without a single slip or poorly timed movement. I was not concerned. But, then I caught sight of suspicious activity. One girl placed her hand out, missing Kaname’s shoulder, even though it was not moving. She gave way. The entire group of girls fell on top of Miss Chidori and was laying on top of each other laughing. There was a strong possibility that---”
“I was laughing too, you MORON!!!” Kaname was red in the face, hands at her hips.
“Kaname, please do not interupt. I do, however, appreciate your attempt to prove my point.” Kyouko took shot after shot of the progression of looks passing across Kaname’s face. “Miss Chidori’s laughter was indeed inappropriate. Frighteningly so. Laughter in the face of danger could have been a sign of severe oxygen starvation. There was little time before she suffered irreversible anoxic brain injury. For that---”
“SOUSUKE!!! Keep it up and YOU will be suffering irreversible brain injury.” Kaname had the iron bar again.
Sousuke walked up close to Mr. Ichibara, speaking quietly so not to be overheard. “Miss Chidori’s actions support my conjecture, sir. In some studies, oxygen deprivation in mice or other small rodents has resulted in violent behavior.”
“Really?” Mr. Ichibara caught himself. “Mr. Sagara, that does not explain why she pushed an entire cabinet of instruments on you in music class yesterday, or why she broke an expensive globe on your head in history class the day before that.” He caught himself again. “And none of that explains today’s tragedy in the least. Can’t you see why I am so furious?”
“You have been holding your breath out of bad temper, Sir. That could lead to a shortage of oxygen.”
“AARRGGHH! Enough. My heart can’t take any more of this. You. Miss Chidori. My office. After school.” With that, Mr. Ichibara strode quickly from the room. “Conspiracies. Perpetrators. Intentional accidents. Smoke grenades. OXYGEN DEPRIVATION.”
Ever helpful, Sousuke called out “Mr. Ichibara, there is an oxygen cylinder in the nurse’s office.” Watching the man run out of the room after that, he felt a feeling of satisfaction, knowing he had helped.
“Funny you should mention the nurse’s office, Sousuke.”
Sousuke turned around. Kaname was there. She had a blunt instrument in her hand.
************************************************************
After entering the posh office, Sousuke introduced himself and immediately took one of the offered chairs in front of a large polished mahogany desk.
Kaname went straight over to a wall covered by framed diplomas and certificates. “They certainly look real. I’m assuming that these cannot be purchased, counterfeited, or stolen.” Inwardly, she cursed. Now he’s got me thinking like HIM. The halisen tapped against her leg as her arm twitched involuntarily.
“Yes, Miss Chidori, I can assure they are real. If you are truly concerned, I can give you the telephone number for the regional referral office, or can put you in touch with the registrar at my training school.” Dr. Wakinabe was a middle-aged man with piercing eyes and a lop-sided smile. A large scar ran from his mouth to his chin, a souvenir of his days on the street as a youth.
“No, no. That’s not necessary. It’s not as if we’re here on my behalf, any way. If that military otaku isn’t worried, why should I care?” Kaname sat down next to Sousuke, giving him a nasty look before turning her back to him altogether.
Dr. Wakinabe scribbled some words on a large notepad.
“Sousuke, the telephone call from Mr. Ichibara was near incoherent at times. I shouldn’t say this, but it almost seems as if he has serious anxiety issues. He insisted that I do a thorough examination of you, for the good of the entire school. I was able to make out the words gym, smoke, conspiracy, perpetrators, pyramid, and oxygen. An interesting set of words, to say the least. Hopefully you will help shed some light on the situation.” Dr. Wakinabe leaned back in his chair, pad on his lap.
“I shall do my best, sir!” Sousuke was sitting ramrod straight in his chair. This was a professional he was reporting to. A specialist.
“Good, good. I’m happy to hear that. First, Miss Chidori, I thank you for escorting Sousuke here. But, as this is a personal meeting, one requiring the strictest confidentiality, I will need to ask you to have a seat in the waiting area. The receptionist will bring you refreshments if you like. The selection of reading material is rather extensive..”
Kaname’s face went through a series of expressions. Shock at being asked to leave. Acceptance, once she realized the validity of the request. Exuberance when she thought about free time without Sousuke dogging her steps. Disappointment, when she realized that she might be missing out on some choice stuff. “Certainly, doctor.” She rose from her seat, but stopped when Sousuke’s hand touched her wrist lightly.
“Sir, I have no problem with Miss Chidori staying in the room with us. There may be important things for her to hear and come to terms with, that I would be unlikely to tell her in other situations. As you mentioned confidentiality, and you are a professional of the highest order, I will confide in you the fact that I have been assigned to serve as her bodyguard. However, despite my trust in you, I can be no more precise than that.” Sousuke’s look was very intense.
Dr. Wakinabe tapped one finger against his cheek for a few moments, looking from Sousuke to kaname and back again. “Bodyguard? I see from your look and her reaction, that there is some truth behind that. Or, at the very least, the two of you believe there is. Your request is highly irregular, Sousuke. We will be discussing things that are very personal, things which people of all ages often find embarrassing. I have the impression that your word is important to you. I will need you to promise me that you would answer every question in the same manner you would have if Miss Chidori was not here. The whole interview would be invalid if you were to purposefully lie or withhold important feelings or information.”
“Sir, it is not a problem. I am quite capable of….” Sousuke was cut off.
“Not a problem?” Kaname was standing, halisen grasped in her hand. “What makes you think that I want to hear anything about a Moody Military maniac. It’s enough that you have to follow me everywhere I go, blowing things up, getting me in trouble, ruining my life. She stood up and headed for the door. “Doctor, do me a favor. Cure him real fast, or have him certified as insane and unable to attend school. You would be doing me a big favor.”
Dr. Wakinabe was quiet as he watched Kaname, listening to her vent.
“Sir, I apologize for Miss Chidori. It has been a trying day for her. Physical trauma and oxygen deprivation.” Sousuke sat back in his chair, arms firmly grasping the sides.
Dr. Wakinabe opened his mouth to answer, but waited too long.
“Sousuke! Enough with that NONSENSE.” Kaname slapped the fan against her leg. “On second thought, I’m not going anywhere.” She walked over and sat down in her chairm after pulling it another three feet away from Sousuke. “No telling what sort of stupid things he will say, believing they are true.”
“Well then, now that everything is settled, let’s begin. Are you both comfortable? It’s very important that you are. I can have different chairs brought in, or you may recline on the couch.” Dr. Wakinabe waved his arm towards a leather couch alongside of his desk, the elevated arm near his chair.
“Doctor, I can’t be comfortable anywhere he is, but I’ve been through many tough times, so I will survive. You don’t have to worry about him. He’s just as comfortable sleeping under a bed as he is laying on rocky ground. He’s the cause of everyone else’s discomfort!” Kaname’s lips were pressed hard together.
“Tough time? I see. I’m sorry to hear that. Sousuke, hearing no complaints from you, let’s start of by discussing the occurrence in the gym. What happened. Why it happened. The thought processes that went through your mind. After that, we will delve into your past, and for completeness sake, go through a number of psychological tests. “
“By your command, sir.”
“OK, Sousuke, in your own words, can you….” Dr. Wakinabe was interrupted.
“Doctor, before we begin, you are not a medical doctor, are you?” Kaname sat forward in her chair, chin in her hand. “You cannot prescribe Sousuke tranquilizers or something? Are you qualified to give him tests or interpret the results? I don’t want any technicalities here. I don’t want Sousuke to have any excuses.”
Dr. Wakinabe scribbled on his pad some more. He opened his mouth to speak, but was trumped again again.
“What exactly are you writing down Doctor, Sousuke hasn’t even started speaking yet.” There was a touch of heat in Kaname’s voice.
“To answer your last question, Miss Chidori, I will not divulge my notes. I will say however, that I may be recording facts, writing down possible questions, or simply doodling if it helps me in my thought process. I would hope that you will allow me to carry out my interview here without too many interruptions.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Kaname blushed.
“Thank you. You are not alone, Miss Chidori. Many people are confused about the difference between psychiatry and psychology. I am a psychologist, not a psychiatrist.” Dr. Wakinabe rolled his chair back a couple of inches, assuming a pedantic tone of voice. I do not hold a medical degree, and did not go through any form of medical training. Psychiatrists tend to focus on the use of medications for treatment, but are not required to train in psychoanalysis or psychotherapy as psychologists are. I personally hold a Ph.D from a professional school, and have served as a Clinical Psychologist for a number of esteemed institutions. I did my doctoral dissertation on childhood traumas. I have acquired significant skill in analyzing information and drawing conclusions from psychological sessions. I am certainly qualified to evaluate Sousuke.”
“I will trust in your judgement, Doctor.” Kaname felt sheepish.
“I’m glad to hear that. I believe my judgement is pretty good. But I will pass along a little wisdom. Good judgement comes from experience. A lot of experience comes as the result of bad judgement.” Dr. Wakinabe sagely nodded his head.
Both Sousuke and Kaname could identify with what he just said.
With Kaname remaining relatively silent, Sousuke went on to describe the events of the other day. He answered all subsequent questions promptly and in amazing detail. From moment to moment, Kaname didn’t know whether she felt like she was trapped in a war movie, a psychological thriller, a comedy, or a C-grade flick.
“Based on your judgment and your level of concern, I can see no real psychopathology behind your actions, Sousuke. Though I will repeat my lesson on good judgment and bad judgment, if need be.” Dr. Wakinabe was thrilled to have such an interesting patient.
“Please, Doctor. Repeat it. Early and often. It would help if you tattooed the saying on each of his otaku hands.” Kaname was not thrilled.
“I understand, doctor” Sousuke said seriously. “I have received this lecture before, from my superiors. But, I grew up in a land where too much time spent in thinking often added to the number or corpses. I cannot allow myself to allow serious injury to befall Miss Chidori.”
“SOUSUKE!!! More often than not, you are the cause of serious injuries!” Kaname fought the urge to swing the halisen.
“There have been no fatalities. And, you are still alive.”
“There have not been any fatalities YET. And just what sort of life do I have with you around? I have to wonder how long it’s going to be before I go crazy!” Kaname’s look was frightening.
“Miss Chidori, please take a seat.” Kaname sat down with bad grace at Dr. Wakinabe’s request. “Sousuke, let’s discuss that land you grew up in. Start with your earliest childhood memories, and bring me forward to the present day. Please, if any area is too difficult to diacuss, at least give me an indication that there are items you wish to skip for now.”
“His first memories probably have to do with sucking on his mother’s machine gun or learning potty training in a mine field! He probably even had a rank when he was born!” Kaname zipped her lip when Dr. Wakinabe stared at her.
Sousuke went on to give a thourough recounting of his life, leaving out any direct reference to Mithril. Dr. Wakinabe filled in a full pad with his notes. Kaname was buffeted by moments of shock, horror, sympathy, disbelief, and even pride. A number of times, she had to hold a tissue to her eyes.
“I thought I had more than my fair share of problems. Sousuke, you….” Kaname spoke up when Sousuke finished, but found that words couldn’t explain the miasma of pain and sorrow that ebbed and flowed within her.
Dr. Wakinabe had long since ceased to be surprised or astounded. “Sousuke, there are certainly a lot of things we could discuss. I will say this. You have come out remarkably intact for someone who was faced with such difficult situations. I suspect you will continue to have a hard time adjusting to the civilized world, but I expect you will continue to learn and grow successfully. I do not think it will be easy, however---for you, for those around you, or for those who stand in your way.”
“AMEN!” Kaname exclaimed louder than she had intended. She bowed her head upon seeing Dr. Wakinabe’s look of anger.
“If need be, we can continue in this vein at a later date. At this time Sousuke, I would like to move on to a number of different types of tests, if you agree.” Dr. Wakinabe put his pad down on his desk top and poured himself a glass of water. “You make take a moment to stretch, or to ask the receptionist for a beverage or light snack.”
“I will do whatever you think best, sir.” Sousuke was impressed with the psychologist’s demeanor and attention to details.
“I suppose I will have to help you study for your tests, as always. If you flunk life, Sousuke, don’t come crying to me.” Kaname folded both her arms across her chest.
************************************************************
“Sousuke, is Miss Chidori always so…forceful, and energetic?” Dr. Watanabe was walking around his office rearranging the order of some of his textbooks. Kaname had left the room to “freshen up.”
“Sir, she is somewhat subdued today. I think that is out of deference to you.” Sousuke was sitting cross-legged on the floor, relaxing.
“Oh. Subdued. I see.” The psychologist’s eyebrows rose as far as they could go. “So, she is more…expressive, when the two of you are alone?”
“Yes, sir, she is. I think she is very in touch with her feelings. She is also very generous with her criticisms and suggestions for improvement. Unfortunately, many of her suggestions are anatomically impossible, or at odds with my assigned mission.”
“I can understand that. Yes. Your commanding officers must have faith in your abilities, or are set on you learning through further hardship.” Dr. Wakinabe patted Sousuke on the shoulder.”
“Sir?”
The door opened. Kaname entered, looking both men in the face sequentially. “You weren’t talking about ME, were you?” Not getting an answer, she retrieved her halisen. “Hmmppff.
A trained professional, Dr. Wakinabe kept from grinning. Picking up his pad, he wrote a quick note.
“Before we get started with any testing, I would like to speak to the issue of diversity and standardization. There is a tremendous amount of diversity amongst any culture. A number of distinct dynamics play a role in creating each unique individual. The earliest things in our lives have the greatest impact on us, but it is the later influences that result in the greatest amount of difference among people. That being said, as each of us grows---unless we make a radical change or experience a significant trauma---we become more and more consistent in our way of thinking and reacting. It gives credence to the adage that it is difficult to teach an old dog new tricks. And….” Dr. Wakinabe frowned, interrupted again.
“Great. Thanks for the cheerful thought. I get the significant trauma of dealing with the ultimate otaku, and he is likely to keep acting the same crazy way? The only way you could make me happier is if you can direct me to the nearest bridge!” Kaname pouted after tossing her hair.
Dr. Wakinabe opened his drawer and took out a small packet. “Gum?” He offered chewing gum to his visitors. Kaname accepted. Sousuke did not. “As I was saying, personal growth is not linear, but is heavily weighted towards the front end of one’s life. The older one gets, the less he is to personality modification. The dynamics that a person tended to use earlier in life---physiological, psychological, social, and cultural---will provide a strong and significant undercurrent to his ongoing interaction with the environment. That being said, at your age Sousuke, there is still an opportunity to affect significant change over time, should such change seem to be particularly advantageous for you or society as a whole.”
“Hallelujah!” Kaname continued to chew her gum with demonic fervor.
“But, before we can determine if there are any issues serious enough to need attention, I want to return to my first point. Diversity. Within a given culture, and across different cultures, there are various traits that can each be considered ‘normal.’ There are also certain traits that will within context be considered ‘abnormal.’ Some behaviors will cross the line and be considered ‘pathological.’ There are various ways to evaluate a person, and some work better in certain situations. The problem inherent in many forms of evaluation is that they are looking to establish abnormality, not confirm normalcy. But, in experienced hands, significant assessments can be made.”
“Doctor, is there any culture where it is considered normal to blow up school lockers, set booby traps for Art class, or run around going Fumo fumo fumoffu?”
Dr. Wakinabe opened a file cabinet and extracted a number of hanging folders. He did not respond to Kaname’s question. Opening the folders, he began sorting papers into a number of different piles.
“Or, is there any context where a normal person would jump out of a moving train, leap off a cliff with a large balloon, or get into gun battles with wacked-out police officers?”
Dr. Wakinabe walked over to a personal computer and turned it on. He flashed through a number of folders until he reached the one he wanted, bringing up a screening test. He paid no more attention to Kaname’s last question than he did the one before it.
“Shooting watermelons with a shotgun, blind-folded? Riding his bicycle off a steep hill with a girl on back? Fighting with karate guys? Kissing some other girl without her permission?” Kaname was obviously miffed at being ignored. “Hmmmpppfff!” The look she gave Sousuke had ominous implications.
After handing Sousuke a set of papers, the psychologist returned to his seat. “We’ll start off with some written screening tests. After that, I would like to see your response to the Rorschach test. The final test will be done on the office computer. Are you ready, or do you need something to drink or a chance to visit the restroom?”
“I am ready, sir.”
“Good. I would like you to read each question aloud to start with. Then, I would like you to pencil the answer ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ If you are uncertain, we can discuss the question further. Please begin with the top sheet and continue until all of the questions have been completed.
“Do you suspect that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving you?” Sousuke read the question. He picked up the pencil he was given.
“That’s a ‘yes,’ Sousuke. Definitely. I know that I always feel that way.” Kaname knew that this type of question would paint Sousuke as some kind of maniac for sure.
“No.” Sousuke filled in the circle next to ‘No.’
“WHAT?!!” Kaname brought her halisen down hard on her chair arm.
“Miss Chidori, please. Let Sousuke answer as he sees fit.” Dr. Wakinabe scribbled some more notes.
“But…But…” Kaname finally gave up and scowled.
“Do you persistently bear grudges and not forget insults or injuries?” Sousuke took a moment to think.
“Another ‘yes,’ Sergeant Denial. I know you bear the same grudges that I do. Pony man. Shirai. The crazy janitor. Crazed killers.” Kaname nodded her head. “Don’t get me started on injuries.”
“No. I seek to remove problems and to complete missions, but I do not obsess over insults.” He filled in another ‘No.’
“Sousuke, you MORON!!! You’re going to foul up the test. You better not do that to me. Be honest.” Kaname was turning pink in the face. She accidentally swallowed her gum.
“Do you experience recurrent strange day dreams or fantasies?” Sousuke thought a bit. “Doctor, would recurring nightmares about past traumatic events count?”
“No, Sousuke. That is something entirely different.” The psychologist was watching Kaname, not Sousuke.
“Sousuke, you are a recurring strange day dream! You know you spend all day thinking up conspiracies and threats. You probably dream about Arm Slave battles day and night.” Kaname practically dared Sousuke to gainsay her.
“No.”
“BAKA!!!” Kaname brought the halisen down sharply on Sousuke’s head, making his pencil slide across his paper. Her face was a bright red.
“Do you have continuous feelings of emptiness?” Sousuke and Kaname each answered the question for themselves simultaneously: “Yes.” Kaname looked away and blushed.
“Are you preoccupied with unlimited success or ideal love?” While Sousuke shook his head and filled in the circle, Dr. Wakinabe spoke directly to Kaname.
“Kaname, would you like to answer that question?”
“No. No, doctor. This test is for Sousuke.” Her face was pale.
“Do you feel uncomfortable in situations where you are not the center of attention?” Sousuke answered his own question “no.”
Kaname continued to look away.
“Have you been cruel to people or animals?” Sousuke pondered the meaning of ‘cruel’ against the context of his life and profession.
“If you don’t put down ‘yes’ to that one Sousuke, I’ll never trust you again! Trying to flush a boy’s head down a toilet. Kneeing a gangster in the groin with a Bonta-Kun suit. Blowing up a girl’s love letter. Interogations. Killing. You are NOT kind and considerate like me.” Kaname’s eyes flashed.
“No. I am not cruel.”
“Wrong!” Kaname brought the halisen down on Sousuke’s head again. Then on his shoulder. Then across the back. “How can I believe another word you say to me?” Her face turned a remarkable shade of scarlet.
“Kaname. It is not a problem. You tend to believe whatever you want to believe.”
Dr. Wakinabe was busy writing.
After finishing with the test that screened for Personality Disorders, Sousuke continued on with the questions that looked for evidence of Sexual Disorders. There were four possible amswers to each entry: ‘not at all’…’some of the time’…’frequently’…and ‘almost always.’
“I think or fantasize about sex.” Sousuke looked flustered. It was his turn to blush.
Kaname looked on eagerly. She wouldn’t let herself believe she cared about the answer. It would be fun just to watch Sousuke wriggle like a worm on a hook.
“Uh.” Sousuke tried to answer.
“Uh.” Again, unsuccessful.
“Uh.”
“Come on Sousuke, spit it out!!!” Kaname was gripping the arms of her chair. She had dropped the halisen.
“Miss Chidori, am I going to have to ask you to wait outside?” Dr. Wakinabe’s voice was stern.
“No sir. Sorry. I beg your pardon.”
“Some of the time.” Sousuke answered, not able to look the psychologist in the eyes.
Kaname looked surprised.
“Uh. I am able to get an erection. Uh.” Sousuke knew the answer. If he didn’t then, he would most every morning when he woke up.
“Well, NOT when a pretty girl goes out and buys a sexy new white bikini and wears it to the beach. Hmmmpppfff!!!” Kaname stuck out her lower lip. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and shuffled her feet.
“Frequently.”
Kaname almost slid out of her seat.
“Are you alright, Miss Chidori? Is something bothering you?” Dr. Wakinabe hid a smile when he asked.
“Uh…” It was Kaname’s turn to be inarticulate.
Sousuke plowed ahead bravely. “I engage in masturbation more than I feel is normal.” Kaname never heard the answer. She had closed her eyes and placed both fingers in her ears. There were some things she just did not need to know.
Sousuke managed to finish with the Sexual questions without passing out. It was one of the most difficult missions he had faced in a long while. He managed to get through the questions screening for Depression without any explosions from Kaname or beatings with the halisen. The final sety of questions had to deal with Anxiety. Answer format was ‘Yes or No.’
“Do you feel you worry excessively about many things?” Sousuke asked the psychologist for the definition of ‘excessively’ in the setting of the test. He wanted clarification on the difference between ‘worrying’ and ‘being concerned about.’
“The answer is a colossal ‘YES,’ Sousuke. You don’t need to ask all of those questions. Sheesh, do I have to answer your questions for you?” Kaname did not believe in the principal of inertia. A body at rest did not necessarily tend to remain at rest.
“No. I have legitimate concerns that come with my position. That is not the same as worrying.”
“Bullshit.” Kaname very rarely swore. When she did, she usually blushed and offered an immediate apology. Usually. “You worry about shoeboxes. You worry about girls getting dressed in their private locker room. You worry about canisters of unknown substances. You worry about busts made for an Art project. You worry about a girl going on a date with an old crush. You worry about gangsters, terrorists, kidnapping, killing, molestation, explosions, gunshots, strangers…everything.” Kaname was short of breath, but continued. “I worry myself sick worrying about all YOUR worrying. Your answer worries me most of all!!!
The only sound in the room was Kaname’s heavy breathing.
Sousuke looked down at his paper. Dr. Wakinabe had so much to write down, he had difficulty of choosing his first item.
“Should I continue now, sir?”
“It would almost seem anticlimactic…” Dr. Wakinabe was busy scribbling.
“Sir?”
“Oh! Sorry. Yes, please continue Sousuke.”
Sousuke made the mistake of looking over at Kaname. She had picked up the halisen. She did not look happy.
“Do you experience sensations of shortness of breath, palpitations, or shaking at rest?” Sousuke quickly answered ‘No’ and filled in the corresponding circle.
Kaname was shaking. Her heart was pounding against her chest. Her breath coming in ragged gasps.
“Do you feel that you will be in a place or a situation from which you feel that you will not be able to escape.” Sousuke thought a moment. “No. That situation may very well occur, but I do not fear the occurrence.”
Kaname froze like a deer in a car’s headlights. Her eyes were glued to Sousuke. She was entirely rigid. Three words kept tumbling through her head: ’Sousuke’ and ’no escape.’
Dr. Wakinabe looked on with interest.
“Do you persistently relive an upsetting event from the past?” Sousuke quickly answered ‘Yes.’
Kaname closed her eyes and bowed her head.
“Do you avoid social situations because of feelings of fear?” Sousuke answered ‘No’ to that question.
Kaname mumbled under her breath. “I avoid social situations because of Sousuke.”
After they finished with the last of the questionnaires, Dr. Wakinabe took a deep breath an stood up. “Can I trust you two alone in this room? After all that, I find that I need a short break.”
************************************************************
Before Dr. Wakinabe returned to the room, Kaname made certain to pick up all of the items she had thrown at Sousuke. She thought she had done a good job, but there were so many books, paperweights, coffee cups, and desk utensils laying around, it was hard to remember each and every placement. She spat on a bronze bust of Sigmund Freud, polishing it with the tail of her blouse. Maybe he won’t notice the dent.
Sousuke sat in his chair, waiting patiently. A trickle of blood ran down near his ear. This confrontation barely rated a ‘Kaname Class 1’ by usual standards.
After shutting off the close-circuit TV, Dr. Wakinabe poured himself a third cup of coffee. He had taken the other two black. This one would be no different.
Squaring his shoulders, he headed back to his office.
************************************************************
The simplest reactions can tell a trained observer something. Dr. Wakinabe walked into his office in a nonchalant fashion. The first thing he did was walk over to one of his end tables. “Hmm, I thought this ashtray was over there. He stole a glance at Kaname, holding back a grin when he saw her twitch. “And this letter opener, I always have it on the left side.” He looked again. Kaname was pretending to be engrossed with the Middle Eastern Tapestry on the near wall. “Ah well, either I’m getting senile, or the maid has been taking creative liberties.” Standing between Sousuke and Kaname, he remarked “Well, it’s nice to see that the two of you can get along when you try. I expected my room to look like a war zone.” Sousuke’s face was blank, unmoved. Kaname was reading the fine print on her halisen.
“Is there anything either of you wants to tell me? Something you would like to get off your chest? No? OK, let’s get down to business again.” He sat back down in his chair. He stared at his bust of Sigmund Freud, then picked it up. Kaname dropped her halisen, “We’ve finished the screening tests. The remaining tests fall into three categories: Trait Analysis, Psychopathology, and Psychological types. We’ll do the Rorschach for the second categorie, and something called the Murray Appraisal Process or M.A.P. for the third. First, we’ll do a little testing based on a dominant personality theory. The Big-5 factors “theory” breaks the personality into five major factors.” He began to rub his hand over the bronze sculpture. “Hmmm. I wonder how this dent got here?”
Kaname smiled. “Errr…Sounds very interesting, Doctor!”
“Really? I’ve always found it a bit tedious myself, and merely descriptive, but it does explain things sometimes. It is particularly good at providing insight on how two people differ, and how that diffrence may result in the way the treat one another.”
“Oh.” Kaname snuck a glance at Sousuke, who was patiently listening.
“I must commend you, Miss Chidori. You have sat through a lot today, on the behalf of your fellow student and at the request of your principal. Let’s make this interesting for you, two. A have a pair of forms here. You can fill out one as well. There are only three hundred total items.”
Kaname’s face went blank at the mention of “three hundred.” Sousuke sat quietly,unperturbed.
“All you need to do is check off one of five items on the rating scale: very inaccurate, moderately inaccurate, neither accut=rate or inaccurate, moderately accurate, or very accurate. Describe yourself honestly, as you see yourself, in relationship to other people you know of your same sex, of roughly the same age. Since you thought it all sounded interesting, I though you’de jump at the opportunity.” Dr. Wakinabe put the Sigmund Freud bronze down on the edge of the desk, directly in front of Kaname.
Sousuke and Kaname got to work. The questions seemed endless. Sousuke calmly applied himself to the task, answering questions with metronomical precision. Kaname scratched her head, squirmed around in her chair, bit the end off of her pencil eraser, and straightened her skirt numerous times.
Worry about things
Make friends easily
Have a vivid imagination
Get angry easily
Like order
Trust others
Often feel blue
Experience my emotions intensely
Take charge
Make people welcome
Am easily intimidated
Go straight to the goal
Often eat too much
Love excitement
Dislike being the center of attention
Panic easily
Radiate joy
Fear for the worst
Believe that others have good intentions
Like music
Stick to the rules
Feel other’s emotions
Like to visit new places
Seek adventure
Become overwhelmed by event
Chose my words with care
And so forth, and so on.
Soon after they had both started, Kaname started checking on the answers that Sousuke gave.
“Sousuke, you don’t make friends, you wait for them to be assigned! I attract friends like a magnet.”
“Sousuke, you don’t believe that there is an absolute right or an absolute wrong, you only believe there is an alive and a dead! I know right from wrong.”
“Sousuke, you never choose you words with care, like me. You’ve annoyed or frightened every single member of the school board and half the student body. Probably half of Tokyo, too!”
“Sousuke, you don’t sympathize with the homeless, you create the homeless.”
“Sousuke, you better be very careful how you answer the question about believing in the importance of art.” The halisen was in her hand, and Kaname’s hand was poised over Sousuke’s head.
When they were both done, Dr. Wakinabe fed the answer forms into a machine on his desk. The ratings were tallied, computations were performed, and the results were printed. The psychologist put the papers in two separate folders with their names on them.
“Wait a minute, Doctor. You can’t leave it at that. Can’t we know the results?
“Uh….” Dr. Wakinabe looked for the most effective words. “Uh….” Well, the results were only worth so much in themselves, but his visitors' reactions to the results might be instructive. “If you wish.”
“Good. I got you beat, Sousuke!” Kaname smiled, leaned back in her chair, and started humming a happy tune.
“Let’s start with NEUROTICISM and the proneness to psychological distress, excessive cravings or urges, and unrealistic ideas. Sousuke, your score is low, that characteristically indicates that you are calm, secure, unemotional, and relaxed. Miss Chidori, your score is rather high, suggesting that you tend to be insecure, a worrier, emotional, and nervous.” Dr. Wakinabe picked up his pad of paper and pencil, keeping his eye on Kaname.
“EMOTIONAL? Sousuke, tell the doctor that I am NOT overly emotional!” She tapped her foot harder and harder. “SOUSUKE.”
“But Kaname, you do….”
The halisen struck and returened faster than the psychologist could see. Only the fact that Sousuke lay on the ground with a rectangular red blotch on his cheek gave any indication of what had occurred.
“Next up is EXTRAVERSION, the capacity for joy, and the need for stimulation. Sousuke, your score is low again. In this instance, it implies that you are inartistic and extremely conventional.”
“BINGO!!!” Kaname was smiling. She particularly agreed with ‘inartistic.’ She stuck out her tongue and pulled down on one bottom eyelid. “Loser!”
“Miss Chidori, your score was high again. The results would suggest that you are talkative, optimistic, sociable, and affectionate.” Kaname stood up and took a bow. “But, the test is sometimes wrong. I can see that you are very talkative, however.”
Kaname’s mouth fell open. “But…but…SOUSUKE!!!” She smacked Souske in the knee. The Doctor was not a physician, but he still took note of the perfect patellar reflex. Souske’s foot had risen fairly far, kicking the bronze bust and flinging it through a decorative window.
“Why?” Sousuke rubbed his knee before tending to his aching toe.
“Don’t be a moron, Sousuke. I couldn’t hit the doctor, could I? Besides, you should have defended me!”
“Let’s tackle OPENNESS next, along with the toleration for and exploration of the unknown. Sousuke, you scored low again. No surprise there. Unartistic and unconventional.”
“HMMPPFF. At least the test is consistent and accurate for otakus!” Kaname took out a brush and started working on her hair.
“Miss Chidori, your score was midline. You have some degree of creativity and originality. You may be curious and imaginative.”
“Yes.” That was all Kaname would venture. Sousuke looked relieved.
“AGREEABLENESS is the fourth category, along with an assessment of one’s orientation along a continuum from compassion to antagonism, in thoughts and actions. Sousuke, before we go any further, why don’t you pick up your chair and walk it over towards the wall. Ten feet to the right ought to suffice.”
“Sir?”
“Professional reasons, Sousuke.” Dr. Wakinabe saluted.
“Sir!” Sousuke moved his chair.
“Should I move too, doctor?” Kaname looked over at Sousuke.
“That’s a splendid offer, Miss Chidori. How about you move your chair ten feet to the left. Good. Thank you. Sousuke, your score was high this time. That indicates that you are good-natured, helpful, and trustful.”
Dr. Wakinabe took out a kerchief and wiped his brow. “The next category is CONSCIENTIOUSNESS. That, and the….”
“Excuse me, doctor. What about my scores?” Kaname had a suspicious look on her face.
“Miss Chidori, since you expressed doubts about this test, why don’t we just confine our discussion to Sousuke?” The psychologist double-checked to see that there was nothing valuable or irreplaceable located directly between Sousuke and Kaname. Seeing Kaname’s look, he sighed. “Very well. Miss Chidori, your score was low. In other people, that would be an indication of rudeness, uncooperative nature, and irritability.”
No one said anything for three whole minutes.
“It’s OK to continue, doctor” Kaname finally said, very sweetly. “It’s not as if I’m going to act immature or pounce on Sousuke.” Still smiling, she mumbled “at this moment.” Continuing to smile, she said “It’s not as if I am very upset to be here today, missing a number of assignments. I really don’t mind having to make up two tests. And, it doesn’t bother me that none of it was my own fault.” Her fingernails were scratching deep grooves in the wood of the chair arms.
“Commendable. Rather inspiring. As I was saying, CONSCIENTIOUSNESS is the final Factor. That, and an assessment of the degree of organization, persistence, and motivation in goal-oriented behavior. Sousuke, your score was extremely high. You are organized, neat, and very reliable. Your score was lower than Sousuke’s, Miss Chidori, but still very high. No doubt you show the same characteristics that he does.”
“Doctor, please don’t ever say I am anything like that Mindless Military Menace cowering in the corner over there. And Sousuke, you scored higher than I did. How nice.”
Sousuke had a premonition of impending doom. It was bad enough, that the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse were running away before it struck. ‘How nice’ might as well have been ‘My name is Kaname Chidori, you ruined my life, prepare to die.’
“Looking at the clock, it appears we will only have time for the Rorschach, Sousuke. If we need to do the M.A.P. or the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I can schedule another appointment. For you.” Dr. Wakinabe opened his top drawer and took out a phone book. “Why don’t the two of you take a quick walk outside and get a breath of fresh air. I need to check and see what the insurance policy on my office will pay for. I’m hoping there’s not a large deductable.”
*************************************************************
Dr. Wakinabe looked at the bust of Sigmund Freud. “Well, you old charlatan, it would be entertaining to see what you might have said about those two.” He puffed away on a big cigar, the type that Churchill used to like, and Freud as well. The smoke left through a nearby opened window. “Your model of the mind may not be correct, old man, but there certainly seems to be a lot of things at war in each of their unconscious minds. A lot of repression of painful thoughts.”
The psychologist looked out of the window. Mr. Sagara and Miss Chidori were both down below, buying drinks from a street vendor. As much as she hit Sousuke, and as much as she acted as if she wanted him gone, Kaname didn’t let him wander too far from her sight today. She had followed him outside, walking behind him as he strode along the avenue. “Well, that wasn’t entirely unsuspected.” Sousuke had handed Kaname a drink. Kaname dumped it over his head. Sousuke just stood there taking the abuse, not moving, and not putting up any kind of a fight.
That pair. They are interesting as individuals, to say the least. But, when they are together! Charcoal is generally harmless. Sulphur as well. Saltpeter. Saltpeter was once put in food by certain armies, or used to douse equipment and uniforms. People believed it would reduce the male ardor. Excess marching did a better job of that. Numbskull, your thoughts are wandering. Aside from being a minor irritant to eyes or skin, and something unwise to breath or ingest in large quantities, saltpeter---potassium nitrate---is not very dangerous. But, mix them all together in the right proportions? Be careful around sparks!
“Yes, old boy, I wager Sousuke is a mix of charcoal and sulphur. I figure Miss Chidori for the saltpeter. I’ll go even further to bet that they will either be the salvation of one another, or the destruction of each other.”
Looking out the window, Dr. Wakinabe had the cigar drop from his slack lips. He hadn’t realized that Sousuke was armed. “You don’t see that every day, do you?” Kaname’s voice had echoed up to the psychologist’s perch, the broken sound saying something about going home. She had thrown Sousuke in front of a speeding cab and shouted “TAXI!!!,” stopping the car. She was so busy with the taxi, that she didn’t see the car speeding straight for her from the other side of the street. From the ground, gunfire rang out. Tire fragments littered the sidewalk as the car swerved out of control, taking out a fire hydrant, a city mailbox, and a trash receptacle. Remarkable. Simply unbelievable. “Should I let them back in my office, you old fake? They already put a dent in you. What do they have in store for me? Maybe I should have gone into combat psychology after all!”
Dr. Wakinabe smiled. They have me talking to a bronze bust, or more precisely talking to myself. That’s alright, sometimes I think better that way. He listened again. Now Kaname was letting Sousuke have it for being so reckless to shoot a car. Priceless.
His cigar smoldering on a ledge two stories below, the psychologist decide to close his window. He had heard enough. Walking over to a painting on the wall, he found another historical figure to talk to. Emil Kraeplin. “Well Emil, I won’t tell you what Sigmund said about you. I know the psychiatrists dismiss Freud out of hand, embracing your concepts of a biological and genetic basis for psychiatric disorders. It gives them justifications for all of their drugs and their talking. But what would you think if you saw THAT pair? Could you rule out childhood trauma or parental relationships as a cause of their issues? Would you say that anyone who suspected major social and environmental causes was full of bunk? Just because Freud may have been a liar and a cheat in some ways, doesn’t mean that everything he said was wrong.”
Dr. Wakinabe stood there a few moments, lost in thought. He heard a number of voices approaching in the hallway outside his door. The voices were getting louder. It was Sousuke and Kaname.
”So, were you scared out there, Sousuke?”
“Scared, Kaname? I had no fear of the Taxi. They generally stop in time.”
“No, Sousuke. Were you scared when you saw the car heading for me?”
“Sousuke?”
“SOUSUKE!!!”
“Yes, Kaname.”
“ ‘Yes, Kaname’ WHAT?”
“I was scared, Kaname.”
“Oh.”
The voices stopped getting closer. Dr. Wakinabe was taking notes again.
”So, you were scared for ME, Sousuke?”
“Uh”
“Sousuke?”
“Uh”
“SOUSUKE!!!”
“What, Kaname?”
“Were you scared for me?”
“Why would I be scared for you, Kaname?”
“Sousuke, just say it.”
Silence again. Dr. Wakinabe was smiling.
“Say it, Sousuke!”
“Kaname, please keep your voice down. There may be patients in these other rooms. It is time to go back in the office. We do not wish to leave Dr. Wakinabe with a bad impression.”
As the door opened, Dr. Wakinabe said a short prayer. His insurance agent had not been very reassuring.
Walking back to his desk, he shook his head. Even if he were to tell someone else about all this, would they believe him?
************************************************************
End of part 1.
Trying to break
the PSYCHYATRIST is gonna need