[FIC] The Scale of Anubis (part 1)
Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 9:28 pm
The Nile River.
Once the bread basket of humanity, the murky river looked unpalatable and uninviting.
Small boats were propelled here and there, the craft of hopeful anchovy fishermen. No other large traffic was visible. Crocodiles basked forebodingly on the shores, paying no heed to the hippos who disappeared beneath the rippled surface as the Mithril barge grew near.
Sousuke’s thoughts were as dark as the churning water pushed away by the craft and its tug. The ECS system meant that he and the cargo were invisible, but did not restrict his view. There was simply nothing he wanted to see. In the past, he would have loved a chance to visit either of the two sites targeted for this mission.
The two teams had initially been inserted over land, somewhere a good distance above the Aswan High Dam and Lake Nasser. The huge artificial lake---480 km in length---was not the concern this time around. Should the Aswan Dam be destroyed, the huge onrush of accumulated water could flood all of Egypt.
Because of that, Egypt had come to the Camp David accords---Israel had marked the dam as a target of great worth. Mithril had stopped one terrorist plot targeting the dam in the past, early in Sousuke’s career.
“Hey Sis, look! The Sphinx!” Kurz flounced his hair, swinging it in Melissa’s face. She grabbed her combat knife, struck with a sudden urge to give her flamboyant team member a crew cut. Kurz was pointing at Sousuke. “How does the Sphinx smell without a nose?”
Neither Sousuke nor Melissa took the bait. That only encouraged Kurz all the more.
“TERRIBLE!!!” He looked on expectantly. No one laughed.
“Babe, if your not going to laugh at my jokes, I have another way to pass the time. You. Me. A lot of moaning and groaning.”
“Weber, you are a horse’s ass. No, a hippo’s ass. I like horses.” Melissa spat into the river. “We can do that moaning and groaning thing if you like.” She showed him her blade. “I’m not a surgeon, but I think I can get your balls off without too much blood loss.”
Kurz wasn’t certain whether or not Sgt. Major Mao was joking. She probably was, but there were a number of things he refused to risk on a ‘probably.’ He walked over to stand in front of Sousuke. “Sousuke, old chum. How about you and I wrap nasty old Mao in some bandages. We can make a fortune selling her as a mummy.”
Sousuke didn’t even bother to look up from the equipment bundle he sat on.
“Leave Sousuke alone, Weber. You know he’s not his usual self today. It’s time for you and I to prep our M9s. You don’t have any time to spare. You’ll be prepping his too!” She threw her cigarette into the Nile.
“C’mon, Sis! He’s a big strong boy. I’m certain he can handle it. It might even do him some good. You never pamper *me* like that!” Kurz followed on Melissa’s heels. “I could use some babying too, you know. I’m partial to breast feeding.”
The last think Sousuke heard from them then was a shout of pain from Kurz.
A flight of birds flew overhead. Absentmindedly, the young soldier watched as they darted down close to the water, wheeling away as if they were one large animal. Sousuke sighed. He envied them their freedom. They were not burdened by emotions.
**********************************************
The briefing had taken place aboard the TDD-1. Sousuke had been pulled away from Tokyo during mid terms. His grades would not be a problem. The contributions that Mithril made to Jindai High School would make certain of that.
Kaname had not been happy. She had gone to a lot of trouble to cook Sousuke’s favorite dishes. She put together a study planner so she could help Sousuke prepare. Moments before he knocked on her door, the recall message came in. It was a high priority signal. There could be no delay. He gave Kaname the bad news over his cellular phone. She hung up during his explanation.
A mushroom was the cause of all the trouble. Amanita bisporigera. ‘The Destroying Angel.’ An oxymoron of sorts. One of the most dangerous saprophytes on earth. One bite of the mushroom could kill a healthy adult, thanks to a heavy concentration of Amanitin, a cyclic peptide.
The poison is almost always fatal, with the death being a very unpleasant one. Severe abdominal pains would soon be followed by liver, kidney, and circulatory system failure. There was no antidote. Nothing would prevent the terrible suffering.
Usually, the only unfortunate victims were campers and hikers in North American who foolishly trusted their mushroom lore, mistaking the button stage of the mushroom for similar edible fungi. However, distressing news had been brought to Mithril’s attention by means of the Israelis. A terrorist group had set up facilities to grow huge numbers of mushrooms. Their aim was unclear, but their method was clear enough.
Large underground caverns were built underneath a number of archeological treasures, the last place that the perpetrators would think anyone would look. They had planned ahead. When the formation of Lake Nasser threatened to submerge the wonders of Abu Simbel, the miraculous temple was cut up into huge blocks andmoved to higher ground. Secret facilities were built during that procedure, with the hidden knowledge passed from one underground sect to another.
The other man-made cavern was built beneath the ruins of Deir al-Madinah, an ancient Egyptian village that was once the home to the artisans who built the Great pyramids. It had once been called Set Maat her imenty Waset, ‘The place of Maat.’ By extension, the older name meant “place of truth.” In contrast, it was now a den of the darkess deceit. The villagers had once worshipped Meretseger, the Cobra-goddess who guarded the Valley of Kings. That was apropos. Poison was no stranger to the region.
Sousuke’s troubles arose once he returned briefly to Tokyo. There was no telling how long it would take to successfully set-up the necessary means to insert the teams into the area unseen and unsuspected. He wouldbe flown back to the TDD-1 as soon as he was needed. There was no margin for error. Even one escaping truck loaded with mushrooms could cause deaths on an unimaginable scale.
Melissa had made it a point to coach Sousuke. She told him to buy Kaname flowers. She suggested a gold pendant or bracelet as well. Those, and honesty.
His heart was beating fast when he knocked on her door, although he was not entirely certain why. When she finally came to see who was knocking, her face was red and her blouse was soaked with tears. Her hair was a mess. She looked frantic.
“You’re back already, Sousuke. Only two days. Good. I need your help. Please.” She was obviously terribly upset about something. She had an armful of clothing and was dropping one piece after another as she walked aimlessly between the door and points unknown. “I have my ticket. I bought a second one just in case. Our flight leaves in three hours.”
“Flight, Kaname? But I....”
“We need to get to New York City as quickly as possible. I don’t just need a bodyguard now Sousuke; I need a friend. It’s Ayame.” At the mention of her sister’s name, the tears flowed again.
“What...”
“She’s sick, Sousuke. Very sick. The doctors don’t know if she’ll make it. There’s no time to waste. Did you unpack? If not, that’s great--- you’ll be ready to go.” Kaname was actually trembling. Sousuke did not know what to do. He was so used to Kaname’s strength and resilience.
“I cannot go, Kaname.” The words hung between the two of them like unexploded ordinance. The look on Kaname’s face was one of disbelief.
“Sousuke?” Her voice was plaintive. Her heart was there to see. She had never allowed anyone to see her vulnerability before.
“The mission, Kaname. I am on standby. I cannot leave the safe house.” Sousuke felt terrible. It was a feeling he was all too familiar with---he had felt this way in battle before, when he was forced to leave wounded comrades behind in order to assure that the objectives were met.
“But...“Kaname dropped every single item she had been carrying.
“I am sorry, Kaname.”
“Sorry?” The word carried with it a sense of total numbness. That would soon change. “SORRY!” Anger grew inside Kaname. All of her fears, concerns, worries, and insecurities converged. For that moment in time, it felt as if Sousuke was the cause of them all.
“Yes, Kaname. I do not have a choice. There are millions of lives in danger.”
“There are ALWAYS millions of lives in danger, Sousuke. I only have ONE sister. I need your help. Don’t you understand that?” Kaname was too upset to think clearly. She had no desire to be rational.
“I understand, Kaname. But I am not a doctor. I cannot cure your sister. She may well pull through. There is no cure for the poison of the ‘Destroying Angel’ mushroom. If the mission fails, many will die a hideously painful death.” Water supplies of big cities were notoriously vulnerable. The catastrophe could be enormous.
“A mushroom, Sousuke. A damn mushroom. You choose THAT over Ayame? You can’t be serious.” If anything, Kaname’s rage had stopped her trembling. She was more focused.
Nothing Sousuke said made any head way. Kaname had thrown the flowers and jewelry out into the hallway. That act had little impact compared to her final words. “I don’t want to loose my sister, Sgt. Sagara. I want to make a trade. I wish you were dead instead.”
The slamming door carried with it a terrible sense of finality.
*******************************************************
Sousuke watched the children playing down by the river edge. The barge was passing through a heavily populated region, now. The youths cavorted and splashed into the water, seemingly unconcerned about the dangers around them. The crocodiles remained still. A lone hippopotamus watched them, ready to flee if necessary. An emaciated jackal ran out of cover, grabbed a dead fish, then disappeared.
Life and death. The Nile brought life. The great river also brought death. Would any of those children meet an untimely end?
Would Kaname’s sister?
He shook his head hard. It wasn’t his fault that Ayame was stricken. She had bacterial meningitis, an infection of the membranes that line the brain and spinal cord. About 20% of such cases were fatal. Some survivors suffered significant complications, such as deafness, mental deterioration, or epilepsy. The bacteria were passed from one person to another by respiratory secretions sneezed or coughed up by an infected person. He wasn’t infected. He had not even met Kaname’s sister.
His emotions were confusing him. He did not need that with a battle approaching. Especially, *this* battle. The danger to the world was staggering. The value of the ruins they would be fighting near was astronomical. He would rather take serious injuries himself, then see even a single chip of stone removed from the temples and other edifices.
Kaname. He had begun to come to terms with what she must mean to him. He had wanted to find ways to modify his behavior, to please her. He would gladly give his own life, to keep her from harm. If he could have, he would have gone with her to the States. The lives of the many outweighed the lives of the few, or the one. He understood her priorities. He had hoped that she would accept his.
I wish you were dead instead
Those words were spoken in the heat of the moment, spurred by anger and generated from terrible fear. Sousuke knew that Kaname did not literally mean what she had said. But the words had already started a snowball rolling down the hill. Sousuke’s thoughts had subsequently become a huge rampaging sphere of ice. They threatened to become an avalanche. The analogy seemed out of place, with the relentless sun bearing down on the young soldier’s towel-covered head.
Sousuke thought about life. The meaning of life. The uncertainty of life. As the ponderous barge began to navigate a bend in the river, the children passed out of sight. It was as if they never existed, or were merely phantoms conjured up by his mind. Just like his own brother and sister, dead all these years, murdered by Russian soldiers in Afghanistan. He couldn’t make out their faces, no matter how he tried. He somehow felt he had failed them, as a result. Had they truly existed? What might his life be like if they were still alive?
His thoughts grew strangely morbid. Could this be *his* time? What would Kaname feel if he died? How might she feel after speaking the words she did? What would be his legacy? Had he made a difference in the world? Had his actions help create or preserve peace and prosperity---or was he simply a destroyer, a bringer of death and pain?
Had anything he had done caused Kaname’s life to be better? Could he have done things differently? What would he change if he were given that choice?
There were bricks being used to hold down the tarps spread over the slumbering Arm Slaves. Standing up, Sousuke began picking up the bricks, heaving them as far as he could out into the river. He followed their arc, his eyes squinting in the noonday sun. Their flight was brief. They disappeared from view with a splash, never to be seen again. How many people had even known they existed? Would anyone care that they were gone? They never had the opportunity to be used to their fullest potential.
I want to make a trade
There was no bargaining with death. When it was time, the darkness would descend. No matter how good man's deeds, he would die. No matter how far his evil reached, his days would end. In a sense, he could live on, in the hearts and minds of others.
Sousuke was a fan of legends and mythology. Brooding on death---sitting on a barge in the middle of Egypt---he thought of Anubis, the ancient god of death and dying. His head that of a jackal or some form of dog, he was also known as The Guardian of the Dead. Once the lord of the underworld, he allowed Osiris to take that position out of respect.
Ancient Egyptians saw death as the start of a perilous journey, rather than the end of life. In order to reach the land where the gods dwelt---and to live among them---they must first traverse the land of the dead. Each ‘Book Of The Dead’ was tailored to some extent for the individual making the journey. It contained the spells and hymns thought to be most appropriate to the life that person had led, as well as a collection of speeches and entreaties that would be used in attempts made to pass the tests they faced during their journey. The most crucial test was the Weighing of the Heart.
To the Egyptian, the heart was like a book---it recorded all of the good and bad deeds of a person’s life. In the ‘Hall of Judgement,’ the data would be analyzed during an official ceremony:
*Anubis would lead the deceased into the Hall*
*The deceased’s heart is placed on one of the pans of a scale, to be weighed against the goddess Maat’s ‘Feather of Truth‘*
*Anubis would adjust the plummet, seeing if the heart was sinful and weighed more than the feather*
*Thoth would record the verdict*
*The deceased would be led by Horus before Osiris, if the verdict had been rendered in his or her favor*
*If the verdict went against the petitioner, he would be given to the devourer, the ‘Eater of Hearts.’*
Sousuke thought about Ammut, the devourer. She was a demon to the Egyptians. More accurately, she was a demoness of punishment. For a moment, he pictured her with Kaname’s face, instead of the crocodile’s head she was said to possess. Would Kaname judge his heart to be heavy with sin? Would she wish the final
death for him? He blinked hard, and the vision cleared. One thing was for certain, he would never mention that thought to Kaname. He would have to explain that the demoness had the mid portion of a lion. She might not mind that. He knew exactly what would happen if he told her that the ‘Eater of Hearts’ had the
hind quarters of a hippopotamus.
Sousuke did not have a Book of the Dead. Instead, he jumped ahead. He began to think back on his life. He began to take a tally of his good and bad deeds.
Would he find himself worthy?
Would Kaname?
**********************************************
***********************************************
Sousuke stood near the edge of the barge, hand above his eye. In the heat of the day, the images in the distance wavered, looking tenuous and uncertain. They were not far from their place of disembarking. He would need to get into his pilot suit soon. Unlikely to be unburdened by thoughts and worries, he vowed to keep those unwanted burdens in order. If he pushed ahead with his recriminations purposefully and voluntarily, there was less chance of random and crippling thoughts and feelings tripping him up at inopportune times.
The final briefing had gone smoothly, from a professional standpoint. He, Sgt. Major Mao, and Sgt. Weber would escort the ground troops to Abu Simbel. If they were fortunate, there would be no Arm Slaves or other vehicles requiring their special attention. In that case they would stand guard and mop up any external resistance. They had no idea what to expect. Little was known about the monetary wealth of the terrorist or their potential backers. Even less was known about their total manpower or equipment resources.
Kurz had been a disruptive force near the end of the meeting. Initial threats from Melissa did not blunt his irreverence or jocularity. Sousuke, without a trace of humor, had provided the key to his comrade’s silencing.
“Sgt. Weber, as we are in Egypt, I would suggest you do not anger the Sgt. Major. The stories in this country are rather colorful. The outcomes are often quite drastic.” Sousuke was not concerned about laughter or applause. He was a good student of both Sgt. Weber and Sgt. Major Mao. In combat, he knew how to play to their strengths and weaknesses. He was learning to do the same with their squabbles.
“Sousuke, you truly need to lighten up a bit. Life is for the living. There is plenty of time for order and propriety after we die. Life’s a story. It’s what you write that counts, not how the tale ends!” He had a beer in his hand. That might be the greatest danger he would face on this mission. Drinking *before* a mission was verboten. Stealing Melissa’s beer was tantamount to a death sentence. The Sgt. Major had been the only one with the foresight to bring along post-fight libations.
“Besides, the stories you are talking about are so old, you would need to spend a whole week just blowing the dust off of them! What possible lesson could they hold for the magnificent Kurz Weber? O Yeh!!!” He looked at the empty can in his palm. Should he toss it into the passing water, or parade it before Melissa?
“I shall let you decide. I will merely speak of the god Osiris. He was the diety of life, death, and rebirth. The great-grandson of Ra, he sat upon the throne of the gods, ruling over the living world as Ra did over the gods. He was the first Pharaoh, and his Queen, Isis, was the first Queen. They ruled for many ages together, when the world was still young.
His ways were just and upright. All peoples praised Osiris and Isis, and peace reigned over all, for that was the Golden Age.”
“Hey, nothing wrong with THIS story. I think I like this Osiris dude. Reminds me a lot of…well, ME.” Kurz laughed. He was still undecided about the beer can.
“Yet there was trouble. Proud Set---the brother of Osiri---he who defended the Sun Boat from Apep the Destroyer, was unsettled in his heart.” Sousuke’s voice was flat, but his cadence was captivating. Kurz even managed to stand still.
“He coveted the throne of Osiris. He coveted Isis. He coveted the power over the living world and he desired to take it from his brother. In his dark mind he conceived of a plot to kill Osiris and take all from him. He built a box and inscribed it with wicked magic that would chain anyone who entered it from escaping.”
“Wow. That’s one nasty son-of-a-bitch,” Kurz said, belching. The smell of beer wafted about the impromptu meeting area under the tarp. “Sound a lot like Sis, here.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder, in the direction of Melissa.
“Set took the box to the great feast of the gods. He waited until Osiris had made himself drunk on much beer, then challenged Osiris to a contest of strength.” Sousuke stopped and stared at the beer hand behind Kurz’ back. He gave Melissa a subtle node, noting that she suddenly became more alert.
“Each one in turn would enter the box, and attempt, through sheer strength, to break it open. Osiris, sure in his power yet feeble in mind because of his drink, entered the box. Set quickly poured molten lead into the box. Osiris tried to escape, but the wicked magic held him bound and he died. Set then picked up the box and hurled it into the Nile where it floated away. Set claimed the throne of Osiris for himself and demanded that Isis be his Queen. None of the other gods dared to stand against him, for he had killed Osiris and could easily do the same to them. Great Ra turned his head aside and mourned, yet he did not stand against Set.”
“You see, Kurzie poo. There IS a danger in drinking beer.” Melissa put a hand on the blond soldier’s shoulder. She understood Sousuke‘s non-verbal message. “Not too helpful being feeble-minded, either. Is it?”
Kurz threw the beer can into the Nile.
“That was a dark time. Set was everything his brother was not. He was cruel and unkind. War divided Egypt, and all was lawless while Set ruled. In vain the people cried to Ra, but his heart was hardened by grief, and he would not listen.”
“Just like Tessa,” Kurz said. “I told her I should be squad leader. I don’t understand why she got all huffy when I told her women were better as underlings. She must like it on top, eh Sousuke? Get it? On top!!!” The ne’er-do-well laughed uproarishly at his own joke. “I guess that makes you an 'upperling,' right Sis?”
Melissa cracked her knuckles. She practiced a few kicks.
“Only Isis persevered---she was unafraid of Set. Mourning, she searched all of the Nile for the box containing the body. Finally she found it, lodged in a tamarisk bush that had turned into a mighty tree, for the power of Osiris still was in him, though he lay dead. She tore open the box and wept over the lifeless body of Osiris. She carried the box back to Egypt and placed it in the house of the gods. She cast a spell. The spirit of dead Osiris entered her and she conceived and birthed a son whose destiny it would be to avenge his father. She called the child Horus, and hid him on an island far away from the gaze of his uncle Set.”
“Damn, what fun is that? A baby, but no horizontal mambo? Harsh!”
“The story’s moving off course, Sousuke.” Melissa smiled. “If Kurz was Osiris, who would mourn for him?”
“Sousuke would? Right old chum?” Kurz put both arms across his chest and struck a pose.
Sousuke opened his mouth, then stopped. The dark thoughts threatened to overwhelm him again. Would anyone weep over his loss, if he died this day?
“I… I… I am just the story teller. I must maintain impartiality.” Sousuke’s statement drew a thumbs-up up sign from Melissa. He took no notice of it.
“I shall resume the story. Isis went to wise Thoth, who knows all secrets, and implored his help. She asked him for magic that could bring Osiris back to life. Thoth was the lord of knowledge, and had brought himself into being by speaking his name. He searched through his magic. He knew that Osiris' spirit had departed his body and was lost. To restore Osiris, Thoth had to remake him so that his spirit would recognize him and rejoin….”
Sousuke was interrupted.
“Hey babe, after Sousuke gets done flapping his gums, how about you and I rejoin?” He looked lewdly at Melissa, enjoying her appearance in the form-fitting Arm Slave suit.
“There’s only one thing stopping me, stud!” Melissa licked her lips, knowing she could get Kurz’ hopes up. The fall would be spectacular.
“R-R-Really? Only one?” Kurz rubbed his hands together.
“Yes. Just a single insignificant thing.”
“Oh yeh!!! Lay it on me, babe!” Kurz forced himself to breath slowly.
“We can’t ‘rejoin’ because we’ve never joined in the first place.” He was teetering on the edge of the precipice now.
“Sis!” Kurz’ face was comical in its disappointment.
“And the only way we will EVER join is over my dead body!” That was the push that should have sent him tumbling.
“Really?” Kurz was made of strong stuff. He also didn’t know enough to quit when he was behind. “Well, I’ll hold you to that promise. I’ll tell you now so that you’ll know---it WILL be good for you. Oh Yeh!”
“Well, if I can’t hurt you then, I’d better do it now. Right?” A roundhouse kick sent Kurz hard against his M9. A mechanic above him dropped a spanner. It hit the blond sergeant on the head. “Sousuke, you better finish up while Kurz is still conscious.”
“Thoth and Isis together prepared the Ritual of Life. But, before Thoth could work the magic, cruel Set discovered them. He stole the body of Osiris and tore it into many pieces, scattering them throughout Egypt. He was sure that Osiris would never be reborn.”
“I think I like this Set character,” Melissa laughed. “He had a wealth of good ideas.”
Kurz cringed.
“Isis did not despair. She asked her sister Nephthys to guide her and help her find the pieces of Osiris. They searched far and wide, bringing each piece to Thoth that he might work magic upon it. When all the pieces were together, Thoth went to Anubis, lord of the dead. Anubis sewed the pieces back together, washed the entrails of Osiris, embalmed him wrapped him in linen, and cast the Ritual of Life. When Osiris' mouth was opened, his spirit reentered him and he lived again.” Sousuke hung his head. He was finished.
He forgot to mention the whole point of his story. That story had a relatively happy ending. Having died, Osiris was no longer allowed to rule the living world. He was, however, given the underworld as his domain. If Sousuke died, there would be no miraculous reprieve.
“Wow! I like the way that worked. Of course, that might mean someone could bring that crazy black-hearted bastard back!” Kurz didn’t name names. No one wanted to hear the name ‘Gauron’ if it wasn’t necessary.
“So, Sousuke…. What was the thing that Kurz needed to worry about?” Naturally, Melissa wouldn’t miss out on *that* part.
“Isis and Nepthys found every part but one.” Sousuke said quietly.
“And?” Melissa thought she knew the answer. She wanted Kurz to know it too.
“His penis.”
“WHAT???” Kurz’ eyes went big. “What’s wrong with you Sousuke? Telling a tale like that!”
“O, I kinda liked it, Kurzie. You’ve always told me you were a god among men, right?” Melissa slid her combat knife out of its sheath. “Now, let’s talk about my beer….”
It had done Sousuke some good seeing that exchange. It was a familiar thing, far away from home. The two soldiers were the closest thing he had to family.
His thoughts turned to Kaname again, wondering how things were going with her family.
If he were Osiris, he feared she would be Set rather than Isis. If he returned safely, he would refrain from entering boxes or enclosed spaces. He would not stay around Kaname any time she had a knife in her hands.
He would rather take his chances with Ammut.
*************************
The wind was gusting strongly when the large gangplank fell from the barge to the dusty shore. Luckily, there was not an overabundance of windblown sand---that would have potentially defeated the ECS. The image of amorphous formless shapes walking through the streets of the quiet village might bring back superstitions regarding the ancient gods.
Melissa’s M9 headed out first, its Bofors in hand and primary systems set to infrared. Woe betide any hostile forces that might happen upon her unawares. The first two troop carriers followed, their huge wheels churning up the dust as they sped on their way. Watchful men in the machine gun rings wore cloth over the mouths and noses. Goggles protected their eyes from the stinging particles. Kurz trudged along next, a giant sniper rifle cradled in the grasp of his Arm Slave. Two more troop carriers preceded Sousuke, whose craft brought up the rear. His M9 was carrying a Hellbore flame cannon---if they came across any truck or vehicle carrying the mushrooms, he would end their threat once and for all.
Sousuke felt somewhat naked without air cover. True, the Mithril soldiers all wore Egyptian Army uniforms---and the troop carriers were decked out in Egyptian colors and insignia---but they would be headed into places where standard troops would have no business venturing.
He could find no comfort in the seat of the M9. It was not because Sousuke was piloting something other than Arbalest---the logistics of the mission had precluded that. No, it was because his very soul felt at if it too was naked. Memories rushed in. Recollections of a desert far away. Thoughts of a time long ago. The process was beginning in earnest. It was as if he had walked into the Hall of Judgment. He fully expected to be looking into the polished teeth of a jackal-headed deity any moment now.
The thoughts swirled faster and fiercer than the desert sands outside. He saw uncertain images of the Mission building in Kabul, the place of his earliest memories. His mother was there. Did she really look like that. His father was there too. Why did his face have to be blurry? Two others faded in and out of focus. His brother and sister. He would give anything to remember something substantial about them.
He felt the concussion of bombs. He heard the smashing of doors. Blood---that was the first day he had truly smelled blood. The acrid taste of fear filled his mouth, then as it had in those darkest of days. Every part of his bottle tingled, then went numb.
There were forms, hideous amorphous forms. They seemed like Giants. They moved like ghosts. Russian soldiers, seen through a young child’s eyes. There were also the bodies of his family, some killed by falling bits of building, and the others ruthlessly brutalized and killed by the fiends in his memories.
His sins were clear to him.
FEAR. He had run, never once checking to see if anyone in his family was still alive.
SELFISHNESS. Again, he had though only of his survival.
GUILT. When he reached a place of relative safety, he had begun to blame himself for what happened. Somehow, the soldier’s must have come because of him. Perhaps because of the small roll he had stolen from the vendor the day before last. There had been no place for reason, then.
WORRY. It became his life’s blood.
Were there any virtues brought to light that day? He had survived where everyone else had perished. But, that was good fortune, not some great deed of his. It felt right to justify his actions. He had only been a small child. Did that matter?
The small convoy took a turn off of the main concourse. They headed towards lightly populated areas. Sousuke’s thoughts changed direction as well.
He envisioned himself sitting in Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin’s office. There is a new assignment. He must bodyguard a civilian girl. Her picture---taken years earlier---means nothing to him. She is only a mission. Kurz, on the other hand, goes ballistic.
SLOTH. He had no desire to leave the sub, to take on that assignment.
INSOLENCE. He wanted to throw the mission dossier in the trash. There had been FEAR. He was not fit for the real world. What did he know about it? How could he blend in successfully.
ARROGANCE. It was a babysitting assignment. How could a blue-haired girl count for more than an ace Arm Slave pilot?
The view blurred, wavered, then reformed. He stood in front of his new classmates.
LYING. It became a huge part of his life. It was necessary for his cover. He did not like those CD’s. He really WAS a sergeant. Those were the tamest of the lies he would tell.
He had been INSOLENT, IMPLACABLE, and DISRESPECTFUL, bursting into the girl’s locker room while they were in various stages of undress because he could not allow too much time to pass before he knew exactly what was going on.
He also realized that he had been plain stupid. But, that was not a sin.
Caught by the irate girls , he had resorted to EXCUSE-MAKING and more falsehoods.
Dragging himself back to the safe house, handcuffed to a metal folding chair, he hade been filled with BITTERNESS and SELF-PITY.
When he later listened in on the tap on the girl’s phone---hearing that she thought he was ‘interesting’---his thoughts had been IRRESPONSIBLE. He had come close to refusing any further involvement in the mission.
Again, there were plausible reasons for many of his actions. Of course, criminals can also explain in great detail why they do the things they do. That was not the most telling thing. He could not thing of a single constructive thing he had done. Had he shown FAITH?
No.
Had he been he filled with HOPE?
No.
Did she show signs of CHARITY?
No.
Was his FORTITUDE in evidence?
No.
He also showed little concern with TEMPERENCE and PRUDENCE.
Setting the M9 on auto-pilot for a few moments, Sousuke rubbed at his eyes. Kaname had meant nothing to him then. Her life was still relatively tranquil. Was their a connection? Did her life become more disordered as his feeling about her evolved?
Was he guilty of a form of VOYEURISM? Did he get a view of normal life by watching Kaname?
Or did his actions give her a chance to get a view of an abnormal life, or have the unwanted pleasure of abnormality injected into her life? Was that some manner of ABUSE?
The sound of a jangling goat bell brought his mind back to the present, just in time. He quickly shut off the auto-pilot and grabbed the control lever. The M9’s huge metal foot hovered unseen just above the head of a young goat herder. His animals running frightened around him---somehow sensing the presence of the Arm Slave. He had no inkling of how close to death he had come.
THOUGHTLESSNESS. IRRESPONSIBILITY. Those sins had come close to stealing that child’s every hope and dream.
It was not the first time Sousuke had been in such a situation. This time, however, the results were much more favorable. He had no wish to revisit those days. But, sooner or later, those thoughts would barge through the door into his mind uninvited.
This felt as if it were going to be a long mission, even before any type of fighting or guard duty took place on site.
*****************************************************
*****************************************************
Sousuke took a moment to dismount and check the ground. He wanted to make certain that there was no trace of the task he had just finished. Before climbing back into his M9, he stood a moment in the hot wind, lost in thought.
Some things are a matter of perspective. Depending on frame of reference---and cultural, ethnic, and societal norms---certain things can be viewed as good by some people, and bad by others---with all sorts of shades in between.
Other things were less ambiguous. It was not a question of good or bad. It was a matter of necessity.
A small truck of Egyptian soldiers lay dead in the wreckage of their burning vehicle. The armed men had challenged the drivers of the transporters---rightfully so. They had made their stand when their commands were rebuffed---they did it with courage and admirable teamwork. All had died when unseen forces beyond their imagining ripped their bodies to shred and exploded the truck---each and every one left behind a wife and children to mourn their mysterious disappearance.
*It was easy to claim the actions were necessary:
*The Mithril troops could not afford to be stopped.
*They could not risk that the terrorists could not be alarmed or alerted.
*There was no time or place for captives.
*No anesthetic agents had been loaded aboard any of the Mithril craft---every spare space had already been accounted for.
Sousuke had been given the sad task of digging an unmarked grave and removing all trace of his activity. The monomolecular cutter could double as a long flat shovel in the soft and shifting sand.. The rocket boosters on the back of the M9 smoothed the sand in the area he had disrupted in his grisly task.
He had not been the one who pulled the trigger. Sgt. Major Mao, as squad leader, had taken that burden upon herself. Still, he had stood by and done nothing.
He had not uttered a single word. Furthermore, he would have given the same order.
The mission came first. Eight lives ceased to be, in hopes that millions of other lives could continue onward. Was this a sin? If so, did his soul share the burden? Were his hands dripping with the blood of innocent men, by proxy?
What if someone were forced to kill Kaname in similar fashion. Would that makes things any better? Would his feeling of loss be any less? Those thoughts were too disturbing to consider now.
*It was for a good cause.
*At least it was painless.
*Many other people would benefit.
*The terrorists were ultimately to blame.
*He had been ordered to stand by.
*They could have been killed themselves if they failed to act.
*Any other armed force would have done the same.
The potential excuses were endless. None of them made Sousuke feel any better. But, the bottom line remained. There was a job to be done. They would bring thunder, death, and destruction and let God reckon the cost.
The small but powerful forced moved on after everyone was set. They would reach their goal near dusk. That would prove ideal for their plans. As the daylight faded, the ghosts in Sousuke’s memories arrived in force once more.
Once again, the sands that blew before his tired eyes were the sands of the past. He was still a boy, but he had taken his first big steps away from innocence. There had been no family or friends he could turn to. He learned how terrible the conditions were in the street -side and state-run orphanages and shelters. The abuse had been unspeakable, worse than anything done by the invaders. He would not subject himself to that.
Still, those institutions served him well. He learned to be a thief, stealing the food and supplies he needed from them. It never crossed his mind that every bite of food he pilfered was once less bite of food for someone else. The warmth of the blankets he made off with was something he could sense. The shivering of deprived youths was not.
STEALING. It kept him alive. It helped teach him stealth. It forced him to value necessity more than morals---when the situation called for that.
EXTORTION. He began bullying other vagrants and unfortunates. He had been terribly wronged. After a while, he felt no compulsion against doing the same to those who were weaker or slower than himself.
For a moment, the self examination stopped. He realized just how much he owed Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin and the men that came before him. It was a miracle that he had any sense of justice, temperance, or charity at all. The road ahead of him was long, and filled with confusing twists and turns---but, he was much further along than he had any right to be.
He realized another thing. Kaname needed to be added to that list. Whether or not she realized, there was no doubt that she had helped him grow as well. He should be feeling some form of gratitude in that regard. Instead, he struggled against a sense of impending loss. Would Kaname ever forgive him for abandoning her in her time of need?
That train of thought was pointless at the moment. Kaname was thousands of miles away. What had been said, was said. What had been done, was done. Instead, Sousuke’s thought once more about his aimless days on the streets of Kabul.
TRESPASSING. CHEATING. Even GLUTTONY. The last was a relative issue. He stole and extorted more than he needed to survive, but less than he would have been given freely had his parents been alive---they had been generous, even though they were of poor means.
Thinking hard, he added HYPOCRISY to the list. Whenever the opportunity arose, he spoke out against the Russians for the crimes they committed. Yet, he did many of those same things himself. He was not a murderer, but that would come soon enough. He had not been taken over by hate, revenge, judgment, and stubbornness; but, the time was fast approaching.
Sousuke shivered. He had been little more than an animal. That same raw and lawless part of him still reached out to grab hold of him at times, in the heat of battle. Ruthlessness in combat was one of the things that kept bringing him back alive.
Were there any things that could be said in his favor? Could he mark even a single thing on the ‘good’ side of the ledger?
Yes. He could not deny the truth. Sometimes strengths are born out of adversity.
HOPE. Despite all that had befallen him, he still managed to hold onto expectations for something different. He had wanted something better. If it lay within his power to obtain it, he would seize it.
FORTITUDE. His mental and physical endurance grew. His strength grew, in body and in spirit. Whether good or evil, his actions had begun to increase the depth of his courage.
PRUDENCE. He had learned caution and carefulness. He had begun to understand the true meaning of wisdom, as opposed to the nonsense that many elders spouted. Vigilance had become a part of his every waking thought.
CHARITY. That had been vanishingly rare at first, but the seed had germinated. On occasion, when his memories of his parents’ kindness overpowered more recent memories of harshness and injustice, he made it a point to help those in need. True, it was often as a means to obtain something for himself later on, but it was a start.
Did the fact that he would go on to save countless oppressed and endangered people justify the acts he had committed in his youth? Were the hard times he faced---and the drastic steps he took---the fire that was needed to temper his steel? Could he be the force for good he was today, if he had not faced evil first hand during his formative years?
“Urzu 6 and Urzu 7, stay sharp. We’re past the point of no return. If this mission is going to get done, it has to be tonight. Turn that damn racket down, Weber!” Sgt. Major Mao’s message brought him temporarily back to the here and now. He shook his head. It was easy to picture Sgt. Weber in his pilot’s chair, moving to some obnoxiously loud music.
He sat and wondered, as his M9 lumbered along. Was he himself the fire to Kaname‘s steel? Did her continual survival make the hardships she faced at his hand meaningful ? Was she learning something crucial from the adventures they had?
Capricious, his thoughts flitted across his mind much like the fragments of palm tree fronds he saw blowing past the external viewer on his Arm Slave. A collage of memories fused, split, and combined yet again:
*He tackled teachers.
*Grenades went off in class.
*Busts for art class were destroyed.
*Shoe boxes and love letters ceased to be.
*An art class was subjected to tricks and traps.
*’Coincidence’ became an answer for everything.
*Concealed, he and Kyouko kept watch on Kaname.
*He and Kaname ended up trapped in a grocery store meat locker.
*Kaname lost out on a chance to be an exchange student in Okinawa.
*With no driver’s license, he drove a bus full of his fellow students.
*He saw a teacher near naked.
*He caught sight of Kaname and the other girls without their clothes on, after having led the way for a bunch of deceitful boys.
*Ignoring a dubious contract, he obligated the Jindai High girls to perform in a strip club.
There was no avoiding the glaring light of Truth. Those had been detrimental or disruptive events, without any real shread of justification. He could make excuses until the cows came home, but that wouldn't change the facts. But, in the interest of Justice, he had to admit that there had been positive events with desirable outcomes. It was a matter of balance. Which way would the scale tip? He forced himself to remember the good as well as the bad:
*He reached out emotionally to Kaname on a railway bench.
*Intent on rescuing her, he leaped off of a cliff with her in his arms, a balloon slowing their descent.
*Together, they worked to help stop a crazed man in a pony costume.
*He admitted his fear to Kaname, fooled into thinking she had been covered with blood instead of paint.
*While Kaname rummaged around in a dumpster, he rushed towards a procession of tractors and their snowy payload
*Leaping from a building in a Bonta-Kun suit, he served notice to a bunch of gangsters.
*He saved Kaname from a bunch of thugs with rape on their mind.
*He rescued her from amoral criminals intent on pilfering a museum and kidnapping its patrons..
*Under great duress, he got himself, his teacher, and his classmates through a gauntlet of terrorists on that same bus.
*Alone, he took on a crazed police woman for the sake of his friends.
Yes, it was indeed a mixed bag. If he were an avid pool player like Kurz, he might have said he had run the table. He saw evidence of ARROGANCE, INTERRUPTION, and ARGUING.
But, he also saw signs of TRUST, MERCY, IMPARTIALITY, and RELIANCE.
He remained weak in terms of MODERATION and RESTRAINT---yet, he showed some improvement in regards to IMPATIENCE, STUBBORNNESS, and INGRATITUDE.
The key word was ‘some.’
He was far from perfect when it came to issues of ANGER and WORRY.
But to his credit, he was making headway with FAIRNESS, DISCRETION, and BENEVOLENCE.
No, better strike those last two.
The fullest measure of his success in his undercover mission was the fact that Kaname was still alive. She had faced a number of dangerous and difficult situations, and he had been able to rescue her.
Still, for every good thing he brought Kaname, he seemed to bring her two bad things. Was that a fact, or was he being overly harsh with himself? There was no denying the fact that many of the catastrophes she had found herself embroiled in came about because of him, his poor judgment, or his inability to fit into everyday society.
The fullest measure of his growth as a man rested different criteria altogether. Was he improving? Or, was he becoming more of a burden to Kaname than he was worth?
Could he find a way to maximize the joy and stability he brought to her life, while minimizing the pain and disorder? Did she take any joy in his presence, when all was said and done. Why did he find himself wanting that? Was it for her sake, or for his own?
He had to pry his hand off of the control lever. His grip had become so tight, that his arm muscles were locked in a painful spasm. The blurriness in his vision was evidence that he was hyperventilating. He needed to calm down. His thoughts had been becoming too intense, too jumbled. He could not possibly hope to distill everything he had been---and everything he had done---into one neat package. It was pointless to attempt the impossible. He needed moderation, mercy, and fairness more than ever---for himself.
He was not Kaname’s enemy.
He could not change the past.
He should be wary of setting unattainable goals.
It was good that he wanted to become worthy of Kaname’s admiration and trust. But, if that did not come naturally---and in its own time---it would not come at all.
Two more Egyptian Army vehicles registered on his short range radar screen, their visual contact obscured by an impending sandstorm. Holding his breath, he saw them veer away from his heading moments before they crossed into a mandatory kill zone. The camels that showed up on his infrared scanner were in no such danger. He was pretty certain that Sgt. Major Mao would trust them to keep silent.
Exhausted from his estimates of his own virtues and sins, Sousuke found himself breaking one of Sagara’s Rules Of Battle. His mind wandered further than it should. He began to ponder the significance of a story he had read: ‘The Doomed Prince.’ Also known as ‘The Crocodile, the Snake, and the Dog‘:
One of the kings of Egypt was unhappy, for he had no son to rule in his place, once he was gone. He prayed to the gods, who answered his prayers, and a son was born to him. But, the seven Hathors announced that this prince would die by either a snake, a crocodile or a dog.
The King was informed of this prediction. He ordered that the child be kept within a palace in the desert and guarded at all times.
The boy grew strong and tall. One day he climbed to the top of the wall of his palace, and saw a man walking with a dog. He asked a servant what that animal was, and was informed that it was a dog. The prince wanted a dog of his own, and ordered the servant to bring him one. The king was informed of his son's desire for a dog. The king gave in to his son's desire, and gave him a dog.
The prince grew to become a young man. And he complained to his father the king, saying, "Why am I kept a prisoner? I am destined to die either by a snake, a crocodile, or a dog. It is the will of the gods. Then let me live my life, while it lasts." The king eventually consented, giving his son weapons, and sending him and his dog to a foreign land.
In the foreign land, he encountered a beautiful princess. The king of this land had no son, and desired a husband for his daughter, the princess. Those who wished to marry the princess had to climb a wall to reach the princess. Every day, young men tried to climb the wall, and failed. The Egyptian prince climbed the wall, and won the heart of the princess.
The king asked who had won his daughter. And the prince answered that he was the son of one of the soldiers of the king of Egypt, and that he had run away from home. In anger, the king refused to let his daughter marry a commoner. His daughter threatened to neither eat nor drink until they be married. The king demanded that the young man be killed. His daughter threatened to kill herself, if he were killed. The king gave in to his daughter, and they were married.
Once they were married, the prince told his wife of his destiny, to be killed by a snake, a crocodile, or a dog. His wife responded that they should kill the dog, immediately. The prince refused, saying that his dog would never harm him.
A crocodile rose from the river, each night. But it was prevented from attacking the prince, by the presence of a giant who protected the prince.
One night, while the prince slept, the princess saw a snake come into their bedroom, and creep toward the sleeping prince. She trapped the snake and killed it. She woke the prince, and showed him the dead snake, and the prince marveled at this. She said, "See, the gods have allowed me to remove one of your three fates." The prince made offerings, and thanked the gods.
One day, the prince came to the river, and the crocodile spoke to him. The crocodile said that he would eventually kill the prince, when the giant lowered his guard.
One night, the prince and his wife were out walking. The crocodile, hiding in the reeds, saw that the giant had not noticed the him, and that an attack on the prince would probably succeed. The crocodile rushed from hiding, and attacked the prince, injuring him. But the dog jumped between the crocodile and the prince, distracting the crocodile. The giant drove a large spear through the crocodile's heart.
The princess saw that the crocodile was dead, and that her husband was still alive, although seriously injured. A servant was sent to find a doctor. In tears, the princess whispered to her unconscious husband, "Now, two of your fates have been removed. Forgive me, but I must remove the third fate." And she told the giant to kill the dog, which was standing guard over its master. And the giant killed the dog.
But, the crocodile was not yet dead. It made one last attack. And the prince and the crocodile died together.
Soon, the princess gave birth to a son, the prince's son. This son eventually ruled Egypt. Even so, the princess lived the rest of her days in regret about her own actions.
His head throbbing, Sousuke tried to make sense of the story from his own perspective. How did the lessons inherent in that tale apply to his life as a soldier. What could he learn to help him in his dutiy concerning Kaname?
One cannot avoid Destiny.
He wasn’t certain he believed in Destiny. He tended to put a lot of faith in his speed, dexterity, and decision-making abilities. Was that FAITH, or was it ARROGANCE? Fate was a much more comfortable concept, given the amount of time he routinely spent in battle. Still, it may well be his destiny to die by a bullet. Worrying too much about that was more likely to get him shot than it was prevent any such injury.
A person trying to be helpful may well cause harm to befall the one he wishes to help
That one had indeed struck close to home. It dredged up memories of civilians who had died as a result of his actions---they were men and women he was fighting to protect. War often brought about such paradoxes; but, that did not remove the need for CAREFULNESS and EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.
He also thought of Kaname. The parallels were all too obvious. He must not allow himself to fall prey to HYPERSENSITIVITY, GUILT, or WORRY. Nonetheless, a dark thought assailed him. What would he do if an action of his led to her death? What would life hold for him after that?
One should not rush into conclusions regarding success or failure.
There was ample historical documentation of that lesson. How man battle had been lost by commanders who were too quick to celebrate? How many times had the tides of war been turned by those who refused to believe what others thought was obvious?
He should apply the rule to Kaname as well. Her reactions may often be a sign of his failure. But, they could just as easily be a reflection of unrealistic expectations on her part. He was finding it extremely difficult to understand women. He was not alone in that regard.
If one allows it, he can suffer grievously over things that were beyond his ability to control or prevent.
That would be fertile grounds for thought when he was less distractible.
Almost asleep at the stick, Sousuke was jarred back to full awareness by the sound of a threat detector. Three large vehicles were heading in his direction. Eighteen wheel trucks. A glance at his position indicator told him that he had lagged precipitously. The rest of the Mithril troops were far ahead of him and had not noticed his tardiness.
He typed a query into the onboard computer. A GPS grid appeared on his HUD. The trucks were coming from the direction of the temples at Abu Simbel. That was an unwanted discovery. His head now clear, he still found himself deep within the Fogs of War. Did those trucks carry mushrooms, or the poison derived from them. Or, were they simply innocent men, determined to carry out their responsibilities despite the fierce some weather.
This was a predicament. The worst thing that could happen would be for the trucks to somehow become aware of the Arm Slave and call in their discovery--that would be a horrendous setback if the drivers were indeed terrorists.
A full out attack could obliterate all three vehicles before the men had any idea what hit them. But, that carried worth it the risk of killing innocent bystanders---they wouldn’t even be soldiers giving their lives for their country. They would be men or women simply trying to practice their trade---much like his parents had been.
There was also a middle ground. If the ECS system was still effective, he could knock over one of the trucks and look inside. It might leave a mystery, if the drivers were innocent. But, Mithril left more mysteries in its wake than any organization had a right to. If the sand made his M9 visible, he might be forced to kill people he was convinced were innocent.
Regardless, it was not his decision.
“Urzu 2, this is Urzu 7. Do you copy? Over.”
The five seconds it took Sgt. Major Mao seemed like an eternity.
“Urzu 7, I read you. Sousuke, what are you doing?” Melissa sounded irate and sheepish at the same time. She realized how far back Sousuke was. She also realized that she had not discovered that by her own volition.
“I have company, Sgt. Major.” He detailed his situation and asked for orders.
“Burn them, Sgt. Sagara. Literally.” Melissa’s voice had been resolute. She was not willing to take any risks.
“Should I check the remains, Sgt, Major
“Negative. Finish the job and catch up as quickly as possible. Urzu 2 out.”
Sousuke did not hesitate. He pushed his M9 into a run. Switches thrown, the pilot flame on the Hellbore roared to life. Coming in from the most advantageous angle, he torched one truck after another. Dark oily smoke was immediately dispersed by the violent swirling winds. The napalm-like solution coating the trucks was insatiable, its flames lapping at the available oxygen greedily. Even brief gusts of gale force wind could not extinguish the unholy blaze.
The wages of sin. Those may have been innocent men. They may have been men long overdue in Hell. There had been no time to check the nature of the beast. He had to assume it was a crocodile, and he had to make completely certain that the creature was dead, unable to drag someone down with it.
It was his duty to shake off the encounter and move on.
**************************************
End of part 1
Once the bread basket of humanity, the murky river looked unpalatable and uninviting.
Small boats were propelled here and there, the craft of hopeful anchovy fishermen. No other large traffic was visible. Crocodiles basked forebodingly on the shores, paying no heed to the hippos who disappeared beneath the rippled surface as the Mithril barge grew near.
Sousuke’s thoughts were as dark as the churning water pushed away by the craft and its tug. The ECS system meant that he and the cargo were invisible, but did not restrict his view. There was simply nothing he wanted to see. In the past, he would have loved a chance to visit either of the two sites targeted for this mission.
The two teams had initially been inserted over land, somewhere a good distance above the Aswan High Dam and Lake Nasser. The huge artificial lake---480 km in length---was not the concern this time around. Should the Aswan Dam be destroyed, the huge onrush of accumulated water could flood all of Egypt.
Because of that, Egypt had come to the Camp David accords---Israel had marked the dam as a target of great worth. Mithril had stopped one terrorist plot targeting the dam in the past, early in Sousuke’s career.
“Hey Sis, look! The Sphinx!” Kurz flounced his hair, swinging it in Melissa’s face. She grabbed her combat knife, struck with a sudden urge to give her flamboyant team member a crew cut. Kurz was pointing at Sousuke. “How does the Sphinx smell without a nose?”
Neither Sousuke nor Melissa took the bait. That only encouraged Kurz all the more.
“TERRIBLE!!!” He looked on expectantly. No one laughed.
“Babe, if your not going to laugh at my jokes, I have another way to pass the time. You. Me. A lot of moaning and groaning.”
“Weber, you are a horse’s ass. No, a hippo’s ass. I like horses.” Melissa spat into the river. “We can do that moaning and groaning thing if you like.” She showed him her blade. “I’m not a surgeon, but I think I can get your balls off without too much blood loss.”
Kurz wasn’t certain whether or not Sgt. Major Mao was joking. She probably was, but there were a number of things he refused to risk on a ‘probably.’ He walked over to stand in front of Sousuke. “Sousuke, old chum. How about you and I wrap nasty old Mao in some bandages. We can make a fortune selling her as a mummy.”
Sousuke didn’t even bother to look up from the equipment bundle he sat on.
“Leave Sousuke alone, Weber. You know he’s not his usual self today. It’s time for you and I to prep our M9s. You don’t have any time to spare. You’ll be prepping his too!” She threw her cigarette into the Nile.
“C’mon, Sis! He’s a big strong boy. I’m certain he can handle it. It might even do him some good. You never pamper *me* like that!” Kurz followed on Melissa’s heels. “I could use some babying too, you know. I’m partial to breast feeding.”
The last think Sousuke heard from them then was a shout of pain from Kurz.
A flight of birds flew overhead. Absentmindedly, the young soldier watched as they darted down close to the water, wheeling away as if they were one large animal. Sousuke sighed. He envied them their freedom. They were not burdened by emotions.
**********************************************
The briefing had taken place aboard the TDD-1. Sousuke had been pulled away from Tokyo during mid terms. His grades would not be a problem. The contributions that Mithril made to Jindai High School would make certain of that.
Kaname had not been happy. She had gone to a lot of trouble to cook Sousuke’s favorite dishes. She put together a study planner so she could help Sousuke prepare. Moments before he knocked on her door, the recall message came in. It was a high priority signal. There could be no delay. He gave Kaname the bad news over his cellular phone. She hung up during his explanation.
A mushroom was the cause of all the trouble. Amanita bisporigera. ‘The Destroying Angel.’ An oxymoron of sorts. One of the most dangerous saprophytes on earth. One bite of the mushroom could kill a healthy adult, thanks to a heavy concentration of Amanitin, a cyclic peptide.
The poison is almost always fatal, with the death being a very unpleasant one. Severe abdominal pains would soon be followed by liver, kidney, and circulatory system failure. There was no antidote. Nothing would prevent the terrible suffering.
Usually, the only unfortunate victims were campers and hikers in North American who foolishly trusted their mushroom lore, mistaking the button stage of the mushroom for similar edible fungi. However, distressing news had been brought to Mithril’s attention by means of the Israelis. A terrorist group had set up facilities to grow huge numbers of mushrooms. Their aim was unclear, but their method was clear enough.
Large underground caverns were built underneath a number of archeological treasures, the last place that the perpetrators would think anyone would look. They had planned ahead. When the formation of Lake Nasser threatened to submerge the wonders of Abu Simbel, the miraculous temple was cut up into huge blocks andmoved to higher ground. Secret facilities were built during that procedure, with the hidden knowledge passed from one underground sect to another.
The other man-made cavern was built beneath the ruins of Deir al-Madinah, an ancient Egyptian village that was once the home to the artisans who built the Great pyramids. It had once been called Set Maat her imenty Waset, ‘The place of Maat.’ By extension, the older name meant “place of truth.” In contrast, it was now a den of the darkess deceit. The villagers had once worshipped Meretseger, the Cobra-goddess who guarded the Valley of Kings. That was apropos. Poison was no stranger to the region.
Sousuke’s troubles arose once he returned briefly to Tokyo. There was no telling how long it would take to successfully set-up the necessary means to insert the teams into the area unseen and unsuspected. He wouldbe flown back to the TDD-1 as soon as he was needed. There was no margin for error. Even one escaping truck loaded with mushrooms could cause deaths on an unimaginable scale.
Melissa had made it a point to coach Sousuke. She told him to buy Kaname flowers. She suggested a gold pendant or bracelet as well. Those, and honesty.
His heart was beating fast when he knocked on her door, although he was not entirely certain why. When she finally came to see who was knocking, her face was red and her blouse was soaked with tears. Her hair was a mess. She looked frantic.
“You’re back already, Sousuke. Only two days. Good. I need your help. Please.” She was obviously terribly upset about something. She had an armful of clothing and was dropping one piece after another as she walked aimlessly between the door and points unknown. “I have my ticket. I bought a second one just in case. Our flight leaves in three hours.”
“Flight, Kaname? But I....”
“We need to get to New York City as quickly as possible. I don’t just need a bodyguard now Sousuke; I need a friend. It’s Ayame.” At the mention of her sister’s name, the tears flowed again.
“What...”
“She’s sick, Sousuke. Very sick. The doctors don’t know if she’ll make it. There’s no time to waste. Did you unpack? If not, that’s great--- you’ll be ready to go.” Kaname was actually trembling. Sousuke did not know what to do. He was so used to Kaname’s strength and resilience.
“I cannot go, Kaname.” The words hung between the two of them like unexploded ordinance. The look on Kaname’s face was one of disbelief.
“Sousuke?” Her voice was plaintive. Her heart was there to see. She had never allowed anyone to see her vulnerability before.
“The mission, Kaname. I am on standby. I cannot leave the safe house.” Sousuke felt terrible. It was a feeling he was all too familiar with---he had felt this way in battle before, when he was forced to leave wounded comrades behind in order to assure that the objectives were met.
“But...“Kaname dropped every single item she had been carrying.
“I am sorry, Kaname.”
“Sorry?” The word carried with it a sense of total numbness. That would soon change. “SORRY!” Anger grew inside Kaname. All of her fears, concerns, worries, and insecurities converged. For that moment in time, it felt as if Sousuke was the cause of them all.
“Yes, Kaname. I do not have a choice. There are millions of lives in danger.”
“There are ALWAYS millions of lives in danger, Sousuke. I only have ONE sister. I need your help. Don’t you understand that?” Kaname was too upset to think clearly. She had no desire to be rational.
“I understand, Kaname. But I am not a doctor. I cannot cure your sister. She may well pull through. There is no cure for the poison of the ‘Destroying Angel’ mushroom. If the mission fails, many will die a hideously painful death.” Water supplies of big cities were notoriously vulnerable. The catastrophe could be enormous.
“A mushroom, Sousuke. A damn mushroom. You choose THAT over Ayame? You can’t be serious.” If anything, Kaname’s rage had stopped her trembling. She was more focused.
Nothing Sousuke said made any head way. Kaname had thrown the flowers and jewelry out into the hallway. That act had little impact compared to her final words. “I don’t want to loose my sister, Sgt. Sagara. I want to make a trade. I wish you were dead instead.”
The slamming door carried with it a terrible sense of finality.
*******************************************************
Sousuke watched the children playing down by the river edge. The barge was passing through a heavily populated region, now. The youths cavorted and splashed into the water, seemingly unconcerned about the dangers around them. The crocodiles remained still. A lone hippopotamus watched them, ready to flee if necessary. An emaciated jackal ran out of cover, grabbed a dead fish, then disappeared.
Life and death. The Nile brought life. The great river also brought death. Would any of those children meet an untimely end?
Would Kaname’s sister?
He shook his head hard. It wasn’t his fault that Ayame was stricken. She had bacterial meningitis, an infection of the membranes that line the brain and spinal cord. About 20% of such cases were fatal. Some survivors suffered significant complications, such as deafness, mental deterioration, or epilepsy. The bacteria were passed from one person to another by respiratory secretions sneezed or coughed up by an infected person. He wasn’t infected. He had not even met Kaname’s sister.
His emotions were confusing him. He did not need that with a battle approaching. Especially, *this* battle. The danger to the world was staggering. The value of the ruins they would be fighting near was astronomical. He would rather take serious injuries himself, then see even a single chip of stone removed from the temples and other edifices.
Kaname. He had begun to come to terms with what she must mean to him. He had wanted to find ways to modify his behavior, to please her. He would gladly give his own life, to keep her from harm. If he could have, he would have gone with her to the States. The lives of the many outweighed the lives of the few, or the one. He understood her priorities. He had hoped that she would accept his.
I wish you were dead instead
Those words were spoken in the heat of the moment, spurred by anger and generated from terrible fear. Sousuke knew that Kaname did not literally mean what she had said. But the words had already started a snowball rolling down the hill. Sousuke’s thoughts had subsequently become a huge rampaging sphere of ice. They threatened to become an avalanche. The analogy seemed out of place, with the relentless sun bearing down on the young soldier’s towel-covered head.
Sousuke thought about life. The meaning of life. The uncertainty of life. As the ponderous barge began to navigate a bend in the river, the children passed out of sight. It was as if they never existed, or were merely phantoms conjured up by his mind. Just like his own brother and sister, dead all these years, murdered by Russian soldiers in Afghanistan. He couldn’t make out their faces, no matter how he tried. He somehow felt he had failed them, as a result. Had they truly existed? What might his life be like if they were still alive?
His thoughts grew strangely morbid. Could this be *his* time? What would Kaname feel if he died? How might she feel after speaking the words she did? What would be his legacy? Had he made a difference in the world? Had his actions help create or preserve peace and prosperity---or was he simply a destroyer, a bringer of death and pain?
Had anything he had done caused Kaname’s life to be better? Could he have done things differently? What would he change if he were given that choice?
There were bricks being used to hold down the tarps spread over the slumbering Arm Slaves. Standing up, Sousuke began picking up the bricks, heaving them as far as he could out into the river. He followed their arc, his eyes squinting in the noonday sun. Their flight was brief. They disappeared from view with a splash, never to be seen again. How many people had even known they existed? Would anyone care that they were gone? They never had the opportunity to be used to their fullest potential.
I want to make a trade
There was no bargaining with death. When it was time, the darkness would descend. No matter how good man's deeds, he would die. No matter how far his evil reached, his days would end. In a sense, he could live on, in the hearts and minds of others.
Sousuke was a fan of legends and mythology. Brooding on death---sitting on a barge in the middle of Egypt---he thought of Anubis, the ancient god of death and dying. His head that of a jackal or some form of dog, he was also known as The Guardian of the Dead. Once the lord of the underworld, he allowed Osiris to take that position out of respect.
Ancient Egyptians saw death as the start of a perilous journey, rather than the end of life. In order to reach the land where the gods dwelt---and to live among them---they must first traverse the land of the dead. Each ‘Book Of The Dead’ was tailored to some extent for the individual making the journey. It contained the spells and hymns thought to be most appropriate to the life that person had led, as well as a collection of speeches and entreaties that would be used in attempts made to pass the tests they faced during their journey. The most crucial test was the Weighing of the Heart.
To the Egyptian, the heart was like a book---it recorded all of the good and bad deeds of a person’s life. In the ‘Hall of Judgement,’ the data would be analyzed during an official ceremony:
*Anubis would lead the deceased into the Hall*
*The deceased’s heart is placed on one of the pans of a scale, to be weighed against the goddess Maat’s ‘Feather of Truth‘*
*Anubis would adjust the plummet, seeing if the heart was sinful and weighed more than the feather*
*Thoth would record the verdict*
*The deceased would be led by Horus before Osiris, if the verdict had been rendered in his or her favor*
*If the verdict went against the petitioner, he would be given to the devourer, the ‘Eater of Hearts.’*
Sousuke thought about Ammut, the devourer. She was a demon to the Egyptians. More accurately, she was a demoness of punishment. For a moment, he pictured her with Kaname’s face, instead of the crocodile’s head she was said to possess. Would Kaname judge his heart to be heavy with sin? Would she wish the final
death for him? He blinked hard, and the vision cleared. One thing was for certain, he would never mention that thought to Kaname. He would have to explain that the demoness had the mid portion of a lion. She might not mind that. He knew exactly what would happen if he told her that the ‘Eater of Hearts’ had the
hind quarters of a hippopotamus.
Sousuke did not have a Book of the Dead. Instead, he jumped ahead. He began to think back on his life. He began to take a tally of his good and bad deeds.
Would he find himself worthy?
Would Kaname?
**********************************************
***********************************************
Sousuke stood near the edge of the barge, hand above his eye. In the heat of the day, the images in the distance wavered, looking tenuous and uncertain. They were not far from their place of disembarking. He would need to get into his pilot suit soon. Unlikely to be unburdened by thoughts and worries, he vowed to keep those unwanted burdens in order. If he pushed ahead with his recriminations purposefully and voluntarily, there was less chance of random and crippling thoughts and feelings tripping him up at inopportune times.
The final briefing had gone smoothly, from a professional standpoint. He, Sgt. Major Mao, and Sgt. Weber would escort the ground troops to Abu Simbel. If they were fortunate, there would be no Arm Slaves or other vehicles requiring their special attention. In that case they would stand guard and mop up any external resistance. They had no idea what to expect. Little was known about the monetary wealth of the terrorist or their potential backers. Even less was known about their total manpower or equipment resources.
Kurz had been a disruptive force near the end of the meeting. Initial threats from Melissa did not blunt his irreverence or jocularity. Sousuke, without a trace of humor, had provided the key to his comrade’s silencing.
“Sgt. Weber, as we are in Egypt, I would suggest you do not anger the Sgt. Major. The stories in this country are rather colorful. The outcomes are often quite drastic.” Sousuke was not concerned about laughter or applause. He was a good student of both Sgt. Weber and Sgt. Major Mao. In combat, he knew how to play to their strengths and weaknesses. He was learning to do the same with their squabbles.
“Sousuke, you truly need to lighten up a bit. Life is for the living. There is plenty of time for order and propriety after we die. Life’s a story. It’s what you write that counts, not how the tale ends!” He had a beer in his hand. That might be the greatest danger he would face on this mission. Drinking *before* a mission was verboten. Stealing Melissa’s beer was tantamount to a death sentence. The Sgt. Major had been the only one with the foresight to bring along post-fight libations.
“Besides, the stories you are talking about are so old, you would need to spend a whole week just blowing the dust off of them! What possible lesson could they hold for the magnificent Kurz Weber? O Yeh!!!” He looked at the empty can in his palm. Should he toss it into the passing water, or parade it before Melissa?
“I shall let you decide. I will merely speak of the god Osiris. He was the diety of life, death, and rebirth. The great-grandson of Ra, he sat upon the throne of the gods, ruling over the living world as Ra did over the gods. He was the first Pharaoh, and his Queen, Isis, was the first Queen. They ruled for many ages together, when the world was still young.
His ways were just and upright. All peoples praised Osiris and Isis, and peace reigned over all, for that was the Golden Age.”
“Hey, nothing wrong with THIS story. I think I like this Osiris dude. Reminds me a lot of…well, ME.” Kurz laughed. He was still undecided about the beer can.
“Yet there was trouble. Proud Set---the brother of Osiri---he who defended the Sun Boat from Apep the Destroyer, was unsettled in his heart.” Sousuke’s voice was flat, but his cadence was captivating. Kurz even managed to stand still.
“He coveted the throne of Osiris. He coveted Isis. He coveted the power over the living world and he desired to take it from his brother. In his dark mind he conceived of a plot to kill Osiris and take all from him. He built a box and inscribed it with wicked magic that would chain anyone who entered it from escaping.”
“Wow. That’s one nasty son-of-a-bitch,” Kurz said, belching. The smell of beer wafted about the impromptu meeting area under the tarp. “Sound a lot like Sis, here.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder, in the direction of Melissa.
“Set took the box to the great feast of the gods. He waited until Osiris had made himself drunk on much beer, then challenged Osiris to a contest of strength.” Sousuke stopped and stared at the beer hand behind Kurz’ back. He gave Melissa a subtle node, noting that she suddenly became more alert.
“Each one in turn would enter the box, and attempt, through sheer strength, to break it open. Osiris, sure in his power yet feeble in mind because of his drink, entered the box. Set quickly poured molten lead into the box. Osiris tried to escape, but the wicked magic held him bound and he died. Set then picked up the box and hurled it into the Nile where it floated away. Set claimed the throne of Osiris for himself and demanded that Isis be his Queen. None of the other gods dared to stand against him, for he had killed Osiris and could easily do the same to them. Great Ra turned his head aside and mourned, yet he did not stand against Set.”
“You see, Kurzie poo. There IS a danger in drinking beer.” Melissa put a hand on the blond soldier’s shoulder. She understood Sousuke‘s non-verbal message. “Not too helpful being feeble-minded, either. Is it?”
Kurz threw the beer can into the Nile.
“That was a dark time. Set was everything his brother was not. He was cruel and unkind. War divided Egypt, and all was lawless while Set ruled. In vain the people cried to Ra, but his heart was hardened by grief, and he would not listen.”
“Just like Tessa,” Kurz said. “I told her I should be squad leader. I don’t understand why she got all huffy when I told her women were better as underlings. She must like it on top, eh Sousuke? Get it? On top!!!” The ne’er-do-well laughed uproarishly at his own joke. “I guess that makes you an 'upperling,' right Sis?”
Melissa cracked her knuckles. She practiced a few kicks.
“Only Isis persevered---she was unafraid of Set. Mourning, she searched all of the Nile for the box containing the body. Finally she found it, lodged in a tamarisk bush that had turned into a mighty tree, for the power of Osiris still was in him, though he lay dead. She tore open the box and wept over the lifeless body of Osiris. She carried the box back to Egypt and placed it in the house of the gods. She cast a spell. The spirit of dead Osiris entered her and she conceived and birthed a son whose destiny it would be to avenge his father. She called the child Horus, and hid him on an island far away from the gaze of his uncle Set.”
“Damn, what fun is that? A baby, but no horizontal mambo? Harsh!”
“The story’s moving off course, Sousuke.” Melissa smiled. “If Kurz was Osiris, who would mourn for him?”
“Sousuke would? Right old chum?” Kurz put both arms across his chest and struck a pose.
Sousuke opened his mouth, then stopped. The dark thoughts threatened to overwhelm him again. Would anyone weep over his loss, if he died this day?
“I… I… I am just the story teller. I must maintain impartiality.” Sousuke’s statement drew a thumbs-up up sign from Melissa. He took no notice of it.
“I shall resume the story. Isis went to wise Thoth, who knows all secrets, and implored his help. She asked him for magic that could bring Osiris back to life. Thoth was the lord of knowledge, and had brought himself into being by speaking his name. He searched through his magic. He knew that Osiris' spirit had departed his body and was lost. To restore Osiris, Thoth had to remake him so that his spirit would recognize him and rejoin….”
Sousuke was interrupted.
“Hey babe, after Sousuke gets done flapping his gums, how about you and I rejoin?” He looked lewdly at Melissa, enjoying her appearance in the form-fitting Arm Slave suit.
“There’s only one thing stopping me, stud!” Melissa licked her lips, knowing she could get Kurz’ hopes up. The fall would be spectacular.
“R-R-Really? Only one?” Kurz rubbed his hands together.
“Yes. Just a single insignificant thing.”
“Oh yeh!!! Lay it on me, babe!” Kurz forced himself to breath slowly.
“We can’t ‘rejoin’ because we’ve never joined in the first place.” He was teetering on the edge of the precipice now.
“Sis!” Kurz’ face was comical in its disappointment.
“And the only way we will EVER join is over my dead body!” That was the push that should have sent him tumbling.
“Really?” Kurz was made of strong stuff. He also didn’t know enough to quit when he was behind. “Well, I’ll hold you to that promise. I’ll tell you now so that you’ll know---it WILL be good for you. Oh Yeh!”
“Well, if I can’t hurt you then, I’d better do it now. Right?” A roundhouse kick sent Kurz hard against his M9. A mechanic above him dropped a spanner. It hit the blond sergeant on the head. “Sousuke, you better finish up while Kurz is still conscious.”
“Thoth and Isis together prepared the Ritual of Life. But, before Thoth could work the magic, cruel Set discovered them. He stole the body of Osiris and tore it into many pieces, scattering them throughout Egypt. He was sure that Osiris would never be reborn.”
“I think I like this Set character,” Melissa laughed. “He had a wealth of good ideas.”
Kurz cringed.
“Isis did not despair. She asked her sister Nephthys to guide her and help her find the pieces of Osiris. They searched far and wide, bringing each piece to Thoth that he might work magic upon it. When all the pieces were together, Thoth went to Anubis, lord of the dead. Anubis sewed the pieces back together, washed the entrails of Osiris, embalmed him wrapped him in linen, and cast the Ritual of Life. When Osiris' mouth was opened, his spirit reentered him and he lived again.” Sousuke hung his head. He was finished.
He forgot to mention the whole point of his story. That story had a relatively happy ending. Having died, Osiris was no longer allowed to rule the living world. He was, however, given the underworld as his domain. If Sousuke died, there would be no miraculous reprieve.
“Wow! I like the way that worked. Of course, that might mean someone could bring that crazy black-hearted bastard back!” Kurz didn’t name names. No one wanted to hear the name ‘Gauron’ if it wasn’t necessary.
“So, Sousuke…. What was the thing that Kurz needed to worry about?” Naturally, Melissa wouldn’t miss out on *that* part.
“Isis and Nepthys found every part but one.” Sousuke said quietly.
“And?” Melissa thought she knew the answer. She wanted Kurz to know it too.
“His penis.”
“WHAT???” Kurz’ eyes went big. “What’s wrong with you Sousuke? Telling a tale like that!”
“O, I kinda liked it, Kurzie. You’ve always told me you were a god among men, right?” Melissa slid her combat knife out of its sheath. “Now, let’s talk about my beer….”
It had done Sousuke some good seeing that exchange. It was a familiar thing, far away from home. The two soldiers were the closest thing he had to family.
His thoughts turned to Kaname again, wondering how things were going with her family.
If he were Osiris, he feared she would be Set rather than Isis. If he returned safely, he would refrain from entering boxes or enclosed spaces. He would not stay around Kaname any time she had a knife in her hands.
He would rather take his chances with Ammut.
*************************
The wind was gusting strongly when the large gangplank fell from the barge to the dusty shore. Luckily, there was not an overabundance of windblown sand---that would have potentially defeated the ECS. The image of amorphous formless shapes walking through the streets of the quiet village might bring back superstitions regarding the ancient gods.
Melissa’s M9 headed out first, its Bofors in hand and primary systems set to infrared. Woe betide any hostile forces that might happen upon her unawares. The first two troop carriers followed, their huge wheels churning up the dust as they sped on their way. Watchful men in the machine gun rings wore cloth over the mouths and noses. Goggles protected their eyes from the stinging particles. Kurz trudged along next, a giant sniper rifle cradled in the grasp of his Arm Slave. Two more troop carriers preceded Sousuke, whose craft brought up the rear. His M9 was carrying a Hellbore flame cannon---if they came across any truck or vehicle carrying the mushrooms, he would end their threat once and for all.
Sousuke felt somewhat naked without air cover. True, the Mithril soldiers all wore Egyptian Army uniforms---and the troop carriers were decked out in Egyptian colors and insignia---but they would be headed into places where standard troops would have no business venturing.
He could find no comfort in the seat of the M9. It was not because Sousuke was piloting something other than Arbalest---the logistics of the mission had precluded that. No, it was because his very soul felt at if it too was naked. Memories rushed in. Recollections of a desert far away. Thoughts of a time long ago. The process was beginning in earnest. It was as if he had walked into the Hall of Judgment. He fully expected to be looking into the polished teeth of a jackal-headed deity any moment now.
The thoughts swirled faster and fiercer than the desert sands outside. He saw uncertain images of the Mission building in Kabul, the place of his earliest memories. His mother was there. Did she really look like that. His father was there too. Why did his face have to be blurry? Two others faded in and out of focus. His brother and sister. He would give anything to remember something substantial about them.
He felt the concussion of bombs. He heard the smashing of doors. Blood---that was the first day he had truly smelled blood. The acrid taste of fear filled his mouth, then as it had in those darkest of days. Every part of his bottle tingled, then went numb.
There were forms, hideous amorphous forms. They seemed like Giants. They moved like ghosts. Russian soldiers, seen through a young child’s eyes. There were also the bodies of his family, some killed by falling bits of building, and the others ruthlessly brutalized and killed by the fiends in his memories.
His sins were clear to him.
FEAR. He had run, never once checking to see if anyone in his family was still alive.
SELFISHNESS. Again, he had though only of his survival.
GUILT. When he reached a place of relative safety, he had begun to blame himself for what happened. Somehow, the soldier’s must have come because of him. Perhaps because of the small roll he had stolen from the vendor the day before last. There had been no place for reason, then.
WORRY. It became his life’s blood.
Were there any virtues brought to light that day? He had survived where everyone else had perished. But, that was good fortune, not some great deed of his. It felt right to justify his actions. He had only been a small child. Did that matter?
The small convoy took a turn off of the main concourse. They headed towards lightly populated areas. Sousuke’s thoughts changed direction as well.
He envisioned himself sitting in Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin’s office. There is a new assignment. He must bodyguard a civilian girl. Her picture---taken years earlier---means nothing to him. She is only a mission. Kurz, on the other hand, goes ballistic.
SLOTH. He had no desire to leave the sub, to take on that assignment.
INSOLENCE. He wanted to throw the mission dossier in the trash. There had been FEAR. He was not fit for the real world. What did he know about it? How could he blend in successfully.
ARROGANCE. It was a babysitting assignment. How could a blue-haired girl count for more than an ace Arm Slave pilot?
The view blurred, wavered, then reformed. He stood in front of his new classmates.
LYING. It became a huge part of his life. It was necessary for his cover. He did not like those CD’s. He really WAS a sergeant. Those were the tamest of the lies he would tell.
He had been INSOLENT, IMPLACABLE, and DISRESPECTFUL, bursting into the girl’s locker room while they were in various stages of undress because he could not allow too much time to pass before he knew exactly what was going on.
He also realized that he had been plain stupid. But, that was not a sin.
Caught by the irate girls , he had resorted to EXCUSE-MAKING and more falsehoods.
Dragging himself back to the safe house, handcuffed to a metal folding chair, he hade been filled with BITTERNESS and SELF-PITY.
When he later listened in on the tap on the girl’s phone---hearing that she thought he was ‘interesting’---his thoughts had been IRRESPONSIBLE. He had come close to refusing any further involvement in the mission.
Again, there were plausible reasons for many of his actions. Of course, criminals can also explain in great detail why they do the things they do. That was not the most telling thing. He could not thing of a single constructive thing he had done. Had he shown FAITH?
No.
Had he been he filled with HOPE?
No.
Did she show signs of CHARITY?
No.
Was his FORTITUDE in evidence?
No.
He also showed little concern with TEMPERENCE and PRUDENCE.
Setting the M9 on auto-pilot for a few moments, Sousuke rubbed at his eyes. Kaname had meant nothing to him then. Her life was still relatively tranquil. Was their a connection? Did her life become more disordered as his feeling about her evolved?
Was he guilty of a form of VOYEURISM? Did he get a view of normal life by watching Kaname?
Or did his actions give her a chance to get a view of an abnormal life, or have the unwanted pleasure of abnormality injected into her life? Was that some manner of ABUSE?
The sound of a jangling goat bell brought his mind back to the present, just in time. He quickly shut off the auto-pilot and grabbed the control lever. The M9’s huge metal foot hovered unseen just above the head of a young goat herder. His animals running frightened around him---somehow sensing the presence of the Arm Slave. He had no inkling of how close to death he had come.
THOUGHTLESSNESS. IRRESPONSIBILITY. Those sins had come close to stealing that child’s every hope and dream.
It was not the first time Sousuke had been in such a situation. This time, however, the results were much more favorable. He had no wish to revisit those days. But, sooner or later, those thoughts would barge through the door into his mind uninvited.
This felt as if it were going to be a long mission, even before any type of fighting or guard duty took place on site.
*****************************************************
*****************************************************
Sousuke took a moment to dismount and check the ground. He wanted to make certain that there was no trace of the task he had just finished. Before climbing back into his M9, he stood a moment in the hot wind, lost in thought.
Some things are a matter of perspective. Depending on frame of reference---and cultural, ethnic, and societal norms---certain things can be viewed as good by some people, and bad by others---with all sorts of shades in between.
Other things were less ambiguous. It was not a question of good or bad. It was a matter of necessity.
A small truck of Egyptian soldiers lay dead in the wreckage of their burning vehicle. The armed men had challenged the drivers of the transporters---rightfully so. They had made their stand when their commands were rebuffed---they did it with courage and admirable teamwork. All had died when unseen forces beyond their imagining ripped their bodies to shred and exploded the truck---each and every one left behind a wife and children to mourn their mysterious disappearance.
*It was easy to claim the actions were necessary:
*The Mithril troops could not afford to be stopped.
*They could not risk that the terrorists could not be alarmed or alerted.
*There was no time or place for captives.
*No anesthetic agents had been loaded aboard any of the Mithril craft---every spare space had already been accounted for.
Sousuke had been given the sad task of digging an unmarked grave and removing all trace of his activity. The monomolecular cutter could double as a long flat shovel in the soft and shifting sand.. The rocket boosters on the back of the M9 smoothed the sand in the area he had disrupted in his grisly task.
He had not been the one who pulled the trigger. Sgt. Major Mao, as squad leader, had taken that burden upon herself. Still, he had stood by and done nothing.
He had not uttered a single word. Furthermore, he would have given the same order.
The mission came first. Eight lives ceased to be, in hopes that millions of other lives could continue onward. Was this a sin? If so, did his soul share the burden? Were his hands dripping with the blood of innocent men, by proxy?
What if someone were forced to kill Kaname in similar fashion. Would that makes things any better? Would his feeling of loss be any less? Those thoughts were too disturbing to consider now.
*It was for a good cause.
*At least it was painless.
*Many other people would benefit.
*The terrorists were ultimately to blame.
*He had been ordered to stand by.
*They could have been killed themselves if they failed to act.
*Any other armed force would have done the same.
The potential excuses were endless. None of them made Sousuke feel any better. But, the bottom line remained. There was a job to be done. They would bring thunder, death, and destruction and let God reckon the cost.
The small but powerful forced moved on after everyone was set. They would reach their goal near dusk. That would prove ideal for their plans. As the daylight faded, the ghosts in Sousuke’s memories arrived in force once more.
Once again, the sands that blew before his tired eyes were the sands of the past. He was still a boy, but he had taken his first big steps away from innocence. There had been no family or friends he could turn to. He learned how terrible the conditions were in the street -side and state-run orphanages and shelters. The abuse had been unspeakable, worse than anything done by the invaders. He would not subject himself to that.
Still, those institutions served him well. He learned to be a thief, stealing the food and supplies he needed from them. It never crossed his mind that every bite of food he pilfered was once less bite of food for someone else. The warmth of the blankets he made off with was something he could sense. The shivering of deprived youths was not.
STEALING. It kept him alive. It helped teach him stealth. It forced him to value necessity more than morals---when the situation called for that.
EXTORTION. He began bullying other vagrants and unfortunates. He had been terribly wronged. After a while, he felt no compulsion against doing the same to those who were weaker or slower than himself.
For a moment, the self examination stopped. He realized just how much he owed Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin and the men that came before him. It was a miracle that he had any sense of justice, temperance, or charity at all. The road ahead of him was long, and filled with confusing twists and turns---but, he was much further along than he had any right to be.
He realized another thing. Kaname needed to be added to that list. Whether or not she realized, there was no doubt that she had helped him grow as well. He should be feeling some form of gratitude in that regard. Instead, he struggled against a sense of impending loss. Would Kaname ever forgive him for abandoning her in her time of need?
That train of thought was pointless at the moment. Kaname was thousands of miles away. What had been said, was said. What had been done, was done. Instead, Sousuke’s thought once more about his aimless days on the streets of Kabul.
TRESPASSING. CHEATING. Even GLUTTONY. The last was a relative issue. He stole and extorted more than he needed to survive, but less than he would have been given freely had his parents been alive---they had been generous, even though they were of poor means.
Thinking hard, he added HYPOCRISY to the list. Whenever the opportunity arose, he spoke out against the Russians for the crimes they committed. Yet, he did many of those same things himself. He was not a murderer, but that would come soon enough. He had not been taken over by hate, revenge, judgment, and stubbornness; but, the time was fast approaching.
Sousuke shivered. He had been little more than an animal. That same raw and lawless part of him still reached out to grab hold of him at times, in the heat of battle. Ruthlessness in combat was one of the things that kept bringing him back alive.
Were there any things that could be said in his favor? Could he mark even a single thing on the ‘good’ side of the ledger?
Yes. He could not deny the truth. Sometimes strengths are born out of adversity.
HOPE. Despite all that had befallen him, he still managed to hold onto expectations for something different. He had wanted something better. If it lay within his power to obtain it, he would seize it.
FORTITUDE. His mental and physical endurance grew. His strength grew, in body and in spirit. Whether good or evil, his actions had begun to increase the depth of his courage.
PRUDENCE. He had learned caution and carefulness. He had begun to understand the true meaning of wisdom, as opposed to the nonsense that many elders spouted. Vigilance had become a part of his every waking thought.
CHARITY. That had been vanishingly rare at first, but the seed had germinated. On occasion, when his memories of his parents’ kindness overpowered more recent memories of harshness and injustice, he made it a point to help those in need. True, it was often as a means to obtain something for himself later on, but it was a start.
Did the fact that he would go on to save countless oppressed and endangered people justify the acts he had committed in his youth? Were the hard times he faced---and the drastic steps he took---the fire that was needed to temper his steel? Could he be the force for good he was today, if he had not faced evil first hand during his formative years?
“Urzu 6 and Urzu 7, stay sharp. We’re past the point of no return. If this mission is going to get done, it has to be tonight. Turn that damn racket down, Weber!” Sgt. Major Mao’s message brought him temporarily back to the here and now. He shook his head. It was easy to picture Sgt. Weber in his pilot’s chair, moving to some obnoxiously loud music.
He sat and wondered, as his M9 lumbered along. Was he himself the fire to Kaname‘s steel? Did her continual survival make the hardships she faced at his hand meaningful ? Was she learning something crucial from the adventures they had?
Capricious, his thoughts flitted across his mind much like the fragments of palm tree fronds he saw blowing past the external viewer on his Arm Slave. A collage of memories fused, split, and combined yet again:
*He tackled teachers.
*Grenades went off in class.
*Busts for art class were destroyed.
*Shoe boxes and love letters ceased to be.
*An art class was subjected to tricks and traps.
*’Coincidence’ became an answer for everything.
*Concealed, he and Kyouko kept watch on Kaname.
*He and Kaname ended up trapped in a grocery store meat locker.
*Kaname lost out on a chance to be an exchange student in Okinawa.
*With no driver’s license, he drove a bus full of his fellow students.
*He saw a teacher near naked.
*He caught sight of Kaname and the other girls without their clothes on, after having led the way for a bunch of deceitful boys.
*Ignoring a dubious contract, he obligated the Jindai High girls to perform in a strip club.
There was no avoiding the glaring light of Truth. Those had been detrimental or disruptive events, without any real shread of justification. He could make excuses until the cows came home, but that wouldn't change the facts. But, in the interest of Justice, he had to admit that there had been positive events with desirable outcomes. It was a matter of balance. Which way would the scale tip? He forced himself to remember the good as well as the bad:
*He reached out emotionally to Kaname on a railway bench.
*Intent on rescuing her, he leaped off of a cliff with her in his arms, a balloon slowing their descent.
*Together, they worked to help stop a crazed man in a pony costume.
*He admitted his fear to Kaname, fooled into thinking she had been covered with blood instead of paint.
*While Kaname rummaged around in a dumpster, he rushed towards a procession of tractors and their snowy payload
*Leaping from a building in a Bonta-Kun suit, he served notice to a bunch of gangsters.
*He saved Kaname from a bunch of thugs with rape on their mind.
*He rescued her from amoral criminals intent on pilfering a museum and kidnapping its patrons..
*Under great duress, he got himself, his teacher, and his classmates through a gauntlet of terrorists on that same bus.
*Alone, he took on a crazed police woman for the sake of his friends.
Yes, it was indeed a mixed bag. If he were an avid pool player like Kurz, he might have said he had run the table. He saw evidence of ARROGANCE, INTERRUPTION, and ARGUING.
But, he also saw signs of TRUST, MERCY, IMPARTIALITY, and RELIANCE.
He remained weak in terms of MODERATION and RESTRAINT---yet, he showed some improvement in regards to IMPATIENCE, STUBBORNNESS, and INGRATITUDE.
The key word was ‘some.’
He was far from perfect when it came to issues of ANGER and WORRY.
But to his credit, he was making headway with FAIRNESS, DISCRETION, and BENEVOLENCE.
No, better strike those last two.
The fullest measure of his success in his undercover mission was the fact that Kaname was still alive. She had faced a number of dangerous and difficult situations, and he had been able to rescue her.
Still, for every good thing he brought Kaname, he seemed to bring her two bad things. Was that a fact, or was he being overly harsh with himself? There was no denying the fact that many of the catastrophes she had found herself embroiled in came about because of him, his poor judgment, or his inability to fit into everyday society.
The fullest measure of his growth as a man rested different criteria altogether. Was he improving? Or, was he becoming more of a burden to Kaname than he was worth?
Could he find a way to maximize the joy and stability he brought to her life, while minimizing the pain and disorder? Did she take any joy in his presence, when all was said and done. Why did he find himself wanting that? Was it for her sake, or for his own?
He had to pry his hand off of the control lever. His grip had become so tight, that his arm muscles were locked in a painful spasm. The blurriness in his vision was evidence that he was hyperventilating. He needed to calm down. His thoughts had been becoming too intense, too jumbled. He could not possibly hope to distill everything he had been---and everything he had done---into one neat package. It was pointless to attempt the impossible. He needed moderation, mercy, and fairness more than ever---for himself.
He was not Kaname’s enemy.
He could not change the past.
He should be wary of setting unattainable goals.
It was good that he wanted to become worthy of Kaname’s admiration and trust. But, if that did not come naturally---and in its own time---it would not come at all.
Two more Egyptian Army vehicles registered on his short range radar screen, their visual contact obscured by an impending sandstorm. Holding his breath, he saw them veer away from his heading moments before they crossed into a mandatory kill zone. The camels that showed up on his infrared scanner were in no such danger. He was pretty certain that Sgt. Major Mao would trust them to keep silent.
Exhausted from his estimates of his own virtues and sins, Sousuke found himself breaking one of Sagara’s Rules Of Battle. His mind wandered further than it should. He began to ponder the significance of a story he had read: ‘The Doomed Prince.’ Also known as ‘The Crocodile, the Snake, and the Dog‘:
One of the kings of Egypt was unhappy, for he had no son to rule in his place, once he was gone. He prayed to the gods, who answered his prayers, and a son was born to him. But, the seven Hathors announced that this prince would die by either a snake, a crocodile or a dog.
The King was informed of this prediction. He ordered that the child be kept within a palace in the desert and guarded at all times.
The boy grew strong and tall. One day he climbed to the top of the wall of his palace, and saw a man walking with a dog. He asked a servant what that animal was, and was informed that it was a dog. The prince wanted a dog of his own, and ordered the servant to bring him one. The king was informed of his son's desire for a dog. The king gave in to his son's desire, and gave him a dog.
The prince grew to become a young man. And he complained to his father the king, saying, "Why am I kept a prisoner? I am destined to die either by a snake, a crocodile, or a dog. It is the will of the gods. Then let me live my life, while it lasts." The king eventually consented, giving his son weapons, and sending him and his dog to a foreign land.
In the foreign land, he encountered a beautiful princess. The king of this land had no son, and desired a husband for his daughter, the princess. Those who wished to marry the princess had to climb a wall to reach the princess. Every day, young men tried to climb the wall, and failed. The Egyptian prince climbed the wall, and won the heart of the princess.
The king asked who had won his daughter. And the prince answered that he was the son of one of the soldiers of the king of Egypt, and that he had run away from home. In anger, the king refused to let his daughter marry a commoner. His daughter threatened to neither eat nor drink until they be married. The king demanded that the young man be killed. His daughter threatened to kill herself, if he were killed. The king gave in to his daughter, and they were married.
Once they were married, the prince told his wife of his destiny, to be killed by a snake, a crocodile, or a dog. His wife responded that they should kill the dog, immediately. The prince refused, saying that his dog would never harm him.
A crocodile rose from the river, each night. But it was prevented from attacking the prince, by the presence of a giant who protected the prince.
One night, while the prince slept, the princess saw a snake come into their bedroom, and creep toward the sleeping prince. She trapped the snake and killed it. She woke the prince, and showed him the dead snake, and the prince marveled at this. She said, "See, the gods have allowed me to remove one of your three fates." The prince made offerings, and thanked the gods.
One day, the prince came to the river, and the crocodile spoke to him. The crocodile said that he would eventually kill the prince, when the giant lowered his guard.
One night, the prince and his wife were out walking. The crocodile, hiding in the reeds, saw that the giant had not noticed the him, and that an attack on the prince would probably succeed. The crocodile rushed from hiding, and attacked the prince, injuring him. But the dog jumped between the crocodile and the prince, distracting the crocodile. The giant drove a large spear through the crocodile's heart.
The princess saw that the crocodile was dead, and that her husband was still alive, although seriously injured. A servant was sent to find a doctor. In tears, the princess whispered to her unconscious husband, "Now, two of your fates have been removed. Forgive me, but I must remove the third fate." And she told the giant to kill the dog, which was standing guard over its master. And the giant killed the dog.
But, the crocodile was not yet dead. It made one last attack. And the prince and the crocodile died together.
Soon, the princess gave birth to a son, the prince's son. This son eventually ruled Egypt. Even so, the princess lived the rest of her days in regret about her own actions.
His head throbbing, Sousuke tried to make sense of the story from his own perspective. How did the lessons inherent in that tale apply to his life as a soldier. What could he learn to help him in his dutiy concerning Kaname?
One cannot avoid Destiny.
He wasn’t certain he believed in Destiny. He tended to put a lot of faith in his speed, dexterity, and decision-making abilities. Was that FAITH, or was it ARROGANCE? Fate was a much more comfortable concept, given the amount of time he routinely spent in battle. Still, it may well be his destiny to die by a bullet. Worrying too much about that was more likely to get him shot than it was prevent any such injury.
A person trying to be helpful may well cause harm to befall the one he wishes to help
That one had indeed struck close to home. It dredged up memories of civilians who had died as a result of his actions---they were men and women he was fighting to protect. War often brought about such paradoxes; but, that did not remove the need for CAREFULNESS and EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.
He also thought of Kaname. The parallels were all too obvious. He must not allow himself to fall prey to HYPERSENSITIVITY, GUILT, or WORRY. Nonetheless, a dark thought assailed him. What would he do if an action of his led to her death? What would life hold for him after that?
One should not rush into conclusions regarding success or failure.
There was ample historical documentation of that lesson. How man battle had been lost by commanders who were too quick to celebrate? How many times had the tides of war been turned by those who refused to believe what others thought was obvious?
He should apply the rule to Kaname as well. Her reactions may often be a sign of his failure. But, they could just as easily be a reflection of unrealistic expectations on her part. He was finding it extremely difficult to understand women. He was not alone in that regard.
If one allows it, he can suffer grievously over things that were beyond his ability to control or prevent.
That would be fertile grounds for thought when he was less distractible.
Almost asleep at the stick, Sousuke was jarred back to full awareness by the sound of a threat detector. Three large vehicles were heading in his direction. Eighteen wheel trucks. A glance at his position indicator told him that he had lagged precipitously. The rest of the Mithril troops were far ahead of him and had not noticed his tardiness.
He typed a query into the onboard computer. A GPS grid appeared on his HUD. The trucks were coming from the direction of the temples at Abu Simbel. That was an unwanted discovery. His head now clear, he still found himself deep within the Fogs of War. Did those trucks carry mushrooms, or the poison derived from them. Or, were they simply innocent men, determined to carry out their responsibilities despite the fierce some weather.
This was a predicament. The worst thing that could happen would be for the trucks to somehow become aware of the Arm Slave and call in their discovery--that would be a horrendous setback if the drivers were indeed terrorists.
A full out attack could obliterate all three vehicles before the men had any idea what hit them. But, that carried worth it the risk of killing innocent bystanders---they wouldn’t even be soldiers giving their lives for their country. They would be men or women simply trying to practice their trade---much like his parents had been.
There was also a middle ground. If the ECS system was still effective, he could knock over one of the trucks and look inside. It might leave a mystery, if the drivers were innocent. But, Mithril left more mysteries in its wake than any organization had a right to. If the sand made his M9 visible, he might be forced to kill people he was convinced were innocent.
Regardless, it was not his decision.
“Urzu 2, this is Urzu 7. Do you copy? Over.”
The five seconds it took Sgt. Major Mao seemed like an eternity.
“Urzu 7, I read you. Sousuke, what are you doing?” Melissa sounded irate and sheepish at the same time. She realized how far back Sousuke was. She also realized that she had not discovered that by her own volition.
“I have company, Sgt. Major.” He detailed his situation and asked for orders.
“Burn them, Sgt. Sagara. Literally.” Melissa’s voice had been resolute. She was not willing to take any risks.
“Should I check the remains, Sgt, Major
“Negative. Finish the job and catch up as quickly as possible. Urzu 2 out.”
Sousuke did not hesitate. He pushed his M9 into a run. Switches thrown, the pilot flame on the Hellbore roared to life. Coming in from the most advantageous angle, he torched one truck after another. Dark oily smoke was immediately dispersed by the violent swirling winds. The napalm-like solution coating the trucks was insatiable, its flames lapping at the available oxygen greedily. Even brief gusts of gale force wind could not extinguish the unholy blaze.
The wages of sin. Those may have been innocent men. They may have been men long overdue in Hell. There had been no time to check the nature of the beast. He had to assume it was a crocodile, and he had to make completely certain that the creature was dead, unable to drag someone down with it.
It was his duty to shake off the encounter and move on.
**************************************
End of part 1
DAMN! That
Ohkay, what's the mind of dd got
