FullMetal*Panic!

It was going to be a long week for Sousuke. Had his and Kaname’s agreement been a secret, things would have gone much better, no doubt. But, Kaname told everyone. Over the loudspeaker, no less. She wanted to make certain Sousuke couldn’t sneak any otaku acts in under the radar. She now had a school full of front line observers.

Of course, that also waved a red flag in front of the eyes of a whole herd of bulls. A lot of people had gripes with Sousuke. No small number held grudges. Kaname couldn’t have set him up any worse if she had strapped a giant bullseye to his back and given everybody a gun.

Sousuke, naturally, did not enjoy his new found attention. But, he was never fond of attention.

At first, Kaname was beside herself with glee. Sousuke had brought so much stress and disruption into peoples’ lives. It was only fair that he got a taste of it in return. After all, it was only for a week. If Sousuke could survive that much time stranded in the wilderness, he shouldn’t have much difficulty coping with a little hazing.

Furthermore, Kaname was a celebrity. She was everybody’s new best friend. She was the Delilah to Sousuke’s Samson.

There was only one thing Kaname hadn’t thought of: a ticket system. Everyone rushed to see who could get their claws into Sousuke first. It caused no small numbers of squabbles and hard feelings amongst the hopefuls.

Sousuke, of course, had his share of friends and supporters. But, they wisely chose to lay low, rather than risk being tarred with the same brush.

Had they known something that Kaname happened upon, the judge, jury, and executioners might have reigned in their zest and zeal. Someday, they would receive a bill for their apparent gift.

“Sousuke, what are you writing down?” Kaname was very suspicious of anything Sousuke might do this week.

“Notes, Kaname?”

“What kind of notes? Something you just remembered, but forgot to write down in History class.” He did that on occasion.

“Negative.”

“Well?” She began tapping the halisen against her leg, faster and harder.

“Kaname?”

“WHAT….. ARE….. YOU….. WRITING….. DOWN???” Kaname’s rising voice caused a number of people to turn and look at her.

“Names, Kaname. Names. Dates. Times. And, occurrences.”

“Here. Let me see that. Time for a ‘Kaname Ordained Search.’” She grabbed his notepad away from him.

Kaname flipped through the pages. The purpose of the note pad was all too obvious.

“Sousuke, I thought I told you ‘NO OTAKU STUFF.’” She brought the notebook crashing down upon his head. “I told you, you could not use threats of revenge, warnings, or anything like that!”

“I have not, Kaname. I have not mentioned to anyone what I am doing.”

“Then what….” Kaname was puzzled.

“I am simply taking notes, Kaname. That is not against the rules. I will later check it twice. It merely records who has been naughty and who has been nice.” He paused, thinking. “Everyone on my list so far has been naughty.”

“But WHY, Sousuke?” Kaname had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“The week will end, Kaname.”

That simple statement of truth sent shivers up and down Kaname’s spine. What had she done? Sousuke was usually the one who brought up references of history, myth, or legend. Now it was Kaname’s turn to think along those lines:

At one time the only mortals on the earth were men. Prometheus had made them, Athena had breathed life into them. The chief god Zeus did NOT care for them.

Kaname smiled. She could only wonder what Zeus would have thought of Sousuke.

One day Prometheus was trying to solve a quarrel that was raging between the gods and the men. At a festival, the men were going to sacrifice a bull for the first time. They asked him which parts of the bull should be offered to the gods and which should be eaten by men. Prometheus decided to play a trick on Zeus.

He killed the bull, skinned it and butchered it. He split it into two portions: in one he put the best, lean meat. In the second he put bones followed by a thick layer of fat. Prometheus offered both to Zeus to take his choice. Zeus looked at both portions, one looked good but was rather on the small side, the other was much larger and covered in a layer of fat which Zeus thought must cover the best, tastiest portion of meat. He chose that one. When Zeus realized that he had been tricked, he was furious. He took fire away from man so that they could never cook their meat or feel warm again.

Prometheus reacted immediately, flying to the Isle of Lemnos, where he knew the smith Hephaestus had fire. He carried a burning torch back to man. Zeus was enraged. He swore vengeance and started making an evil plan.

Zeus set Hephaestos the task of creating a clay woman with a human voice. Hephaestos did as he was instructed and created a masterpiece. Athena, goddess of wisdom and Zeus' daughter, breathed life into it. She taught the woman how to weave and clothed her. Aphrodite the goddess of love made her beautiful. The god Hermes taught her to charm and deceive.

Zeus was pleased with what he saw, but he had made her as a trap. He named the woman Pandora and sent her as a gift to Epimetheus. Epimetheus had been warned by his brother Prometheus that he should NEVER accept gifts from Zeus because there would always be a catch.

Epimetheus ignored his brother's warning, fell in love with Pandora, and married her.

Zeus, pleased that his trap was working gave Pandora a wedding gift of a beautiful box. There was one condition however...that was that she never opened the box.

For a while they were very happy. Pandora often wondered what was in the box but she was never left alone, so she never opened it. Gradually, over time, she began to wonder more and more about what was in the box. She could not understand why someone would send her a box if she could not see what was in it. It became very important to find out what was hidden there.

Finally she could stand it no longer. One day---when everyone was out---she crept up to the box, took the huge key, fitted it carefully into the lock and turned it.

She swung up the lid to peep inside, but before she realised it, the room was filled with terrible things: disease, despair, malice, greed, old age, death, hatred, violence, cruelty and war. She slammed the lid down and turned the key again...keeping only the spirit of hope inside.

All that Kaname could do was hope.


************************************************************

MONDAY

The morning started off like any other day. Sousuke followed Kaname to school. There was no way to predict the day to come.

The first salvo came from an unsuspected source.

“I will be assigning the homework projects for each class. Please have a piece of paper and a pencil handy.” The science teacher had rotated into home room responsibility that morning. He assigned the students exercises from each of their different courses.

“Mr. Sagara. As you have shown an over-abundance of historical knowledge….” A number of students snickered at that while others frowned. “…you will be excused from doing any homework for History.”

The grumbling in the class made it clear that no one liked that apparent favortism.

“Instead, you have extra assignments in Math, Science, English, and Cultural Studies. Perhaps with sufficient effort, you can raise your level of expertise in those areas as well.”

It looked like some of the teachers were going to get into the game. That was taking school spirit a little too far, Kaname thought. But, in the long run, it would actually be for Sousuke’s own good.

A number of people in the class applauded.

“Way to go, Einstein.” One of the rugby players handed an apple to Sousuke. “I was going to give it to the teacher. Eat up. I have a feeling it may be the last good meal you get this week.”

Sousuke took a bite of the offered fruit, then stopped when everyone on the rugby squad started laughing.

“It’s OK, man. The apple’s OK. I even washed it,” the boy told Sousuke.

Sousuke took another bite.

“Yeh, in the urinal!!!” Another rugby player couldn’t keep the secret any longer. It was alright---the damage had already been done.

The class exploded in laughter. The teacher looked relieved. He really liked apples.

“I see. I have eaten much worse in Afghanistan. The food still maintains its nutritive value. However, I must return this fruit.” He threw it to the boy who had given it to him. “No doubt, as you have christened it in your own bodily fluids, your gesture has some form of sexual significance. I must refuse. I have no such feelings for males.”

“Or women, apparently.” Kaname groused. She had begun to worry about Sousuke. She had never intended him to be cruelly abused. Still, maybe a little hazing would do him good. The other students might even begin to see him as one of them.

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU SON OF A BITCH….” The rugby player knocked over his desk in an effort to get at Sousuke. His plan had backfired.

“Look how eager he is to get his hands on Sousuke!” Someone from a different sports club yelled out. Catcalls followed. The rumors would be all about the school by mid-afternoon.

The entire rugby squad growled. Sousuke’s time would come.

Kaname changed her mind. She wondered if Sousuke would even live through an entire week.

“Mr. Sagara. We cannot have this kind of disruption in class. If you please. Take your desk and move it to the rear corner. I shall note the appropriate number of demerits. At least you have not blown up anyone this morning.

Sousuke did as he was told. He was not taken aback. This was nothing for someone who had survived the cruel jokes of the mujahadeen as a child.

Kaname passed him a note. “I’m sorry, Sousuke” it said.

Sousuke sent one back. “It is not a problem.”

The teacher intercepted the note. “I’m afraid it IS a problem, Mr. Sagara. I would have thought you had outgrown this kind of childishness before now. Today, after lunch, you will be responsible for cleaning the blackboard erasers in each class room.”

The day didn’t get any better for Sousuke.

He found gum on his chair, the hard way. Someone had stolen raw liver from the kitchen and placed it in his desk. His protein bars were replaced with dog biscuits. The latch on his school bag was glued tight with epoxy. Legs seemed to come out of nowhere in the hallway. Between classes, the teachers found him hanging out of an upper window, mouth taped, arms and legs bound together.

Kaname spoke to him in the hallway. “Sousuke, I think it’s time to modify the bet. You can do whatever is necessary to defend yourself.” Her conscious was beginning to bother her. She had been so happy, so impressed with herself. She failed to think things all of the way through.

“No, Kaname. Your concern does you credit. It is good to learn what kind of person you are, when the chance presents itself.

Kaname blushed. She liked hearing that, but was in no mood to accept it. Besides, at this moment, she didn’t think it was right for anyone to compliment her.

“Don’t be stupid, Sousuke. This isn’t some macho show-off thing, you know. You don’t have to go proving yourself to me! HMMPPFF!!” Boys could be so stupid.

“You misunderstand, Kaname. I have already proven myself to you. You are still alive.” That statement hit Kaname like a pole-axe. “It is a matter of honor. I made a promise. I will keep that promise. Under any and all circumstances. If you did not want me to make that promise, you should not have tried to extract it from me.”

As Sousuke stood there, a group of rugby players emptied a garbage can filled with water over his head. They did not bother to remove the garbage first. A slimy banana peel sat on his head like a helmet.

“OK, Sousuke. I hope you know what you are getting yourself into.” Kaname couldn’t help herself. She found herself impressed by Sousuke’s character. She began strolling away. She smiled. He looked so funny with that peel draped over his hair.

“I had little choice, Kaname. I did not want to be ordered away.”

Kaname stopped in mid step, stumbling against the wall. What was the big deal. He had implied as much the other day when she forced him into the promise. She told her heart to stop beating so fast.


*********************************************


The lunch ladies lost no opportunity to get back at Sousuke. While he was eating one of the dog biscuits---they did contain an impressive assortment of vitamins and minerals---they upended a huge vat of sesame sauce over him. It would take them and the janitor the better half of an afternoon to clean up the mess; but, they certainly were not complaining. That little episode ought to brighten their lives for a good while.

Kaname began to see the other side of the bet. Shinji and a group of other boys were discussing their favorite war novels and movies. It was a prime chance for Sousuke to be one of the boys, to make new friends. He sat silently, responding only to questions that had nothing to do with warfare or the military. It was more than that. He didn’t really seem like himself. It was like watching a seal in someone’s bath tub, or an eagle kept in a canary’s cage.

Tempers flared at a pair of tables near the center of the room.. There was bad blood between a number of street gangs, and a number of their members attended Jindai High. Chairs were thrown. Punches, too. Food was flung over combatants and bystanders alike. Before security could be called, knives were drawn. One boy ended up with a shallow cut across his ribs. The blood seeped quickly into the porous fabric of his sweatshirt.

As security led one boy away, and the teachers escorted the other boy to an awaiting ambulance, Kaname felt the tight squeeze of guilt around her heart. That was not the first time that violence had threatened to erupt in school. Before, however, Sousuke had been very quick to defuse matters. He was equitable---if no one listened, he would knock both unruly students out with his taser. He served a useful purpose that way. The teachers overlooked that particular weapon.

“Great job, Sagara!” One of the gang member’s friends said sarcastically as he walked by Sousuke.

“You were informed of my pledge,” Sousuke answered, unconcerned. “In fact, you were one of the ones who put improper substances inside my desk, were you not? I found your fingerprints.

“This is DIFFERENT. Peoples’ lives were at stake.” The boy glowered down at Sousuke, looking as if he was on the verge of getting violent. himself

“That is true. Why didn’t you help him, then. Perhaps it was more your responsibility than mine. He was your friend, was he not?”

Sousuke’s words struck like a knife. No, more like a spear to the heart. The boy’s face froze. There was nothing he could say in response.

Other students stood stunned as well. A number began to see Sousuke in a different light. They had always feared him or laughed at him for some of his tendencies. But, they had always taken certain things for granted as well. It was something to think about.

“Sousuke….” Kaname said. Around her, Ryo, Maya, and Kyouko looked concerned. Kyouko held Mizuke’s arm---she had wanted to go and tell that boy off. The memories of Sousuke’s kindness to her during the bus trip was fresh in her mind.

“It is not a problem, Kaname. It was not my job. I already have one person to protect. They should learn to take care of themselves. I may not always be here.”

Kaname flinched. That was true. She had even threatened as much, even though she knew it was not something she wanted. Still, to hear those words spoken so matter-of-factly, she came to understand just how real that possibility was. Why did she keep coming back to this subject?


*****************************************

After lunch, the remainder of the day’s classes had been canceled. This was a special week at Jindai High. Today the students would have Apprentice Day. Tuesdays afternoon was scheduled for Cultural day. There would be a musical presentation by the band and chorus on Wednesday, and Sports Day on Thursday. The school dance was on Friday.

Because Kaname had been busy with other activities, the organization of the day’s activities had rested in the hands of another girl. The girl had a grudge of sorts with Sousuke. He had blown up the love letter she had sent him.

Kaname was assigned to work with a Cosmetician for the rest of the day. Not exactly a line of work she would choose to pursue, but there would be a chance to learn something about running a small business. Shinji was apprenticed out to a librarian. Maya would be helping out at a bakery. Ryo would be stationed in a jewelry store. Kyouko would be at the Aquarium, working with a marine biologist.

Sousuke’s services were given to the hard working crew of Truck #38, of the Refuse Reclamation Department. He didn’t say a word. He just accepted his folder, checked the address, and looked in the paperwork for any necessary apparel or equipment.

Kaname was incensed. She knew exactly why Sousuke had been given that position.

“That’s not fair, and you know it!” She had said, coming to Sousuke’s defense.

“Sure it is,” the girl retorted. “So much garbage happens around here because of Sousuke. So much garbage is created around here because of his antics. Where else could he learn such a valuable lesson?”

“I can think of a LOT of places,” Kaname growled.

“Yes. Well, it was too bad that out class representative was too busy to take on this responsibility. By the way, there has been a last minute change.” The girl crossed a line through Kaname’s name. “Aki REALLY wanted to work with a cosmetician. But, you’re in luck. There is a vacant spot on Truck #38. Sousuke will probably enjoy the company. Aren’t you glad you could help him out?”

Kaname had been speechless. She hadn’t expected to be slapped down like that simply by trying to help. She caught her breath again. That phrase described a lot of Sousuke’s actions. Maybe she should cut him a little slack in the future. It was also interesting to see just how deep some peoples’ grudges went. Satsuki wasn’t usually that brazen and forward. There was truth to the saying ‘absolute power corrupts absolutely.’

After that, the day stank for Kaname. Literally. She and Sousuke were given overalls to dress in. Hers were size XXL---the arms hung down to her knees and she could have fit in either pants leg. Her gloves were way to large---they looked like catcher’s mitts. She even got to wear a jaunty scarf. Whoopee!

Sousuke never said a negative word. He impressed the workers from the moment he arrived. He could sling loaded garbage containers as if they were filled with air. He hung off of the back of the truck like he had gibbon blood. In the truck bay, he was a whirling dervish with a scrub brush and polishing rag in hand. It might not be a career he would ever choose, but his sense of duty would not allow him to do less than his best.

Kaname was a different story.

“I hate this job.” She said that to Souisuke more than one hundred times.

“I really loath this job.” She said that fifty times.

“I’m going to KILL Satsuki.” That was said twenty five times.

Kaname lost track how many times her hands slipped out of her gloves. She fell off the truck a number of times. She slipped into dumpsters---the one outside of the fish market was the worst. She got garbage and any number of unidentifiable substances all up and down her arms---it would take more than a week just to scrub away the stench.

The men all made fun of the irritable. Mostly, it was because she complained so much. But, it was also because she was a woman. Sousuke said nothing. His pledge had struck again.

Still, as the day moved into night, Kaname gradually came around. She took her lead from Sousuke. She worked more and spoke less. She began telling jokes and laughing at other peoples’ jokes. The last time she fell in a dumpster, she came out laughing, holding a copy of a popular magazine. The lead story was titled ‘New Popular Jobs For People On The Move.’ A miraculous transformation took place. The men all warmed to her. By the end of the shift, she was like a daughter or a sister to some of them. She and Sousuke even ate dinner with the crew at their favorite sushi bar.

“You did very well today,” Sousuke said, walking home from the restaurant.

“Thank you, Sousuke” Kaname said, blushing.

“Yes, you impressed everyone, I think.” Sousuke nodded his head.

“They were good guys,” Kaname said. “I never realized how hard they worked, or the conditions they had to work under.” She was also beginning to see that about Sousuke and the things he did.

“You may have found your calling, Kaname.” Sousuke had not meant it as a joke.

“WHAT???” Kaname’s fists clenched. She gritted her teeth together.

“It was obvious. You are capable enough to excel as a Refuse Reclamation specialist.”

“BAKU!!!”

It took the public works department fifteen minutes to extract Sousuke from the storm drain.


***********************************************************

***********************************************************


TUESDAY

“Don’t walk so fast, Sousuke. Show a little consideration.” Kaname’s exclamation was echoed by Kyouko, Mizuke, Ryo, and Maya. Ren just smiled---she knew he was simply moving at normal Sousuke speed.

“I apologize. But I do not need a human shield, Kaname.” Sousuke looked at the girls ringing him. Kaname’s guilt had taken on a corporal form.

“I see. Is THAT how you show your gratitude?” Kaname stomped her foot. She shook a fist at Sousuke.

“Maybe we should form a wall between Kaname and Sousuke….” Ryo quipped.

“No way!” Maya said, pretending to get dizzy. “THAT would be dangerous.”

“The sentiment is acknowledged, Kaname. However, by placing yourselves in close proximity to Ground Zero….” Sousuke was interrupted.

SMACK!!!

“Owww….. Kaname, that hurt.” Sousuke rubbed his head.

“’GROUND ZERO,’ Sousuke???” Kaname was correct, Sousuke HAD lapsed into mil-speak.

“By placing yourself close to me….” Sousuke waited, looking at the halisen.

“Go ON, Sousuke.” It was like walking on a razor: if Sousuke unconsciously used military terms he would be in trouble…. if he took too long to answer he would also be in big trouble.

“….you place yourself in danger.”

Ren stuck her hand up and grabbed Kaname’s wrist. Kaname nodded. No need to jump the gun.

“HMMMPPPFFF!!!” Kaname laughed her usual raucous laugh. “Do NOT be such a moron, Sousuke. What possible trouble can we run into on the way to homeroom?” A number of the others girls chuckled with her.

“Ready….”

“Aim….”

“FIRE!!!”

Three boys armed with large fire extinguishers pulled the pins, squeezed the handles, and shot the canister’s contents towards Sousuke.

Amazingly enough, the girls DID end up protecting him. He was completely clean. They each looked like they had fallen into a vat or whipped cream. Foam fell of them onto the floor, making a plopping noise.

Shinji, given the task of being one of the photographers for Cultural day, had just put a fresh roll in his camera. He soon found him snapping picture after picture. He got a great shot of the three other boys with the fire hose. That, and the shots of the girls being blasted down the hallway by the strong stream of water.

When they regained their feet, the girls growled like a pack of wild dogs. The boys soon learned the error of there ways in a manner they would not soon forget. Sousuke grabbed Kaname’s arms as she made to run past him.

“Kaname, you should not resort to violence. Is that not the lesson you are trying to teach me?”

Kaname whistled to Ryo and pointed to a large wheel. She then placed the nozzle of the fire hose down Sousuke’s pants. She gave Ryo a ‘thumbs up.’ Smiling, Ryo dialed in maximum water pressure.

Shinji needed another new roll of film.


*********************************************

When Sousuke sat down at his desk, a large amount of squid fell out of his desk. He looked over at Mizuke? She shrugged her shoulders. She hadn’t done it. She had dealt with more than enough squid to last a lifetime.

“Hey, Sagara.” It was the rugby team club captain. “I gotta say you are taking this like a champ. Not everyone would have the balls to do that. Most would squirt some tears and run back to Mama.” He patted Sousuke on the back. “Because of that, we gave your name to the Principal. You’re now part of the Rugby team. See you for Thursday’s game.” He neglected to mention that they had forged Sousuke’s signature.

Across the room, Kaname had no way of knowing the boy had taped a ‘KICK ME, I DON’T HAVE ANY WEAPONS’ sign to Sousuke’s back.

A group of boys stole Sousuke’s book bag for a moment. Sousuke remained seated. A little while later, the book bag found its way back, flung across the room. The back of Sousuke’s head stopped it. Checking through it to see what the damage was, Sousuke noted that one of his textbooks looked thicker. He took it out and flipped through the pages. Some one had taped a lot of extra material in the book.

The teacher noticed Sousuke’s face. He was sweating heavily. Wanting to make certain that one of his students wasn’t sick, he walked over. His eyes widened when he saw the altered book.

“Mr. Sagara, I am shocked. I had not figured you for one who would make such an egregious affront to your female classmates.” All of the girls looked at Sousuke, wondering what he had doing now. “I thought you studied at night with someone.”

“Miss Chidori, Sir.”

“Does she look at your book at night?” The teacher was now staring at Kaname. “I had not judged her to be one to promote such material.”

“I rarely handle the book, Sir. She reads the questions to me.”

The teacher’s mouth dropped open.

“What is it Sousuke?” Kaname didn’t like the direction the teacher’s accusations had taken. “Let me see that book.” She took it from Shinji who was handed it by Sousuke.

Kaname opened the book back up. She turned pale. The book fell from her hands, landing open to one of the new pages. Someone had gathered up cut-outs of Girlie Magazine centerfolds and taped them into Sousuke’s book.

“SOUSUKE!!!” Kaname shouted, despite the fact that the teacher was standing nearby.

“Yes Kaname?”

“What is going on her? Doesn’t this all strike you as a little bit odd?” Kaname was hoping Sousuke would claim innocence, clearing her in the process.

“Yes, Kaname!”

“Good. Why don’t you tell everyone what you find odd?” That ought to do it.

“Their chests are so very large. Is that truly possible. How much exercise is needed to become so huge?”

For a moment, the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

The smarter students kneeled down and hid under their desks. It was something like the Duck-And-Cover drills used in the States during the 50s and 60s.

“AHHH! BAKU!!!”

Kaname’s halisen sent Sousuke out of the upper story window. There was a loud crashing noise. A pulley squeaked as the window washer lifted Sousuke a short distance to his classroom. A bucket sat on his head. His clothes were drenched.

“So those pictures DID get you wet! We didn’t know you had it in you, Sagara.”

The classroom erupted in laughter. The teacher did not find things funny at all.

“Miss Chidori, you will be on eraser detail today. Mr. Sagara, I will get to you later.” The teacher looked around the room for guilty faces. Everyone smiled like an angel. He had finally realized that someone other than Sousuke had rigged the book. “Well, if we have no one brave enough to step forward and admit ownership of this prank, I will just have to confiscate this book.” The book made its way home with him later that night.

“Attention please.” The teacher slammed the book down on the table. “Before we get to our lesson for today, I will assign the topics for your upcoming science projects. The teacher went through the list of projects. Sousuke’s assignment was the last one to be called out.

“Mr. Sagara, you will write a paper on the following topic: ‘The use of suppositories in large herbivores---a comparative study.’ I suggest you visit the city zoos. I expect you to record your evidence of first-hand research.” He paused, looking down at Sousuke. “This should provide you with a good opportunity for hands on study.”

“You mean hands IN, don’t you?” One of the girls asked. Everyone laughed so hard they almost broke out in tears. One boy fell out of his chair.

Kaname looked over at Sousuke with a sneer on her face. She was not feeling sorry for him at the moment. Anything but.


*******************************************

Once again, Sousuke had to run the gauntlet of endless small tricks and trials. He never showed even the slightest bit of anger or irritation. He found a live lobster waiting for him in his locker, claws at the ready. He was jumped in the restrooms and pelted with a barrage of wet paper towels. One teacher found him taped to the blackboard in the classroom.

The rugby squad filled his shirt full of candy and used him as a pinata.

“We always knew you were a sweet guy,” one of the boys quipped.

“It’s really nice, you given us candy like this….” Another laughed.

“And letting us hit you with broom handles!” They all laughed together.

“It is not a problem.” Sousuke had been through much worse.

“I think this is way beyond too much!” It was Kaname. Someone had told her what was going on. “Let him down, or the Principal will hear about it.” She was alone. She hadn’t thought to gather up her friends.

“O, and who is going to tell him, Miss Class Rep?” The team members all surrounded Kaname.

“I think you’ll be too busy, giving us kissing lessons….” The look on the one player’s face was anything but friendly.

“WHAT???” Kaname was beginning to get worried. They were probably just trying to scare her. Probably.

“Sure, it will be educational for Senor Sagara as well. He’ll get to see how real men act with the women.” The guys all gave each other high fives.

Kaname looked over at Sousuke. She knew he could slip out of those ropes in an instance if he needed to. He showed no sign of being ready for action. His eyes were concerned, but nothing more.

“What’s going on here?” A teacher walked up. The boys began walking away. Shinji had seen what was going on and went for help. “Are you alright, Mr. Sagara?”

“I am fine. All I need is to be unbound.”

After the teacher untied Sousuke, he headed back on his errand.

“Sousuke, I’m sorry.” Kaname said. She wondered how many times she would have to apologize this week.

“Do not worry yourself over me, Kaname. Be more concerned for yourself. It appears you do not wish me to speak about danger and threats. You should therefore think on such topics yourself.”

“I will, Sousuke. Believe me, I will.”

“I will now go outside and eat my lunch. I do not wish to irritate the janitor any further.”

“Sousuke, there is something I wasn’t you to do first.” Kaname’s face was intense.

“Kaname?”

“When you write down your entry in your logbook, put a big red circle around those guys. I want to be sure they get what’s coming to them. If I can, I would like to help!” Kaname clenched her fists.

“Affirmative. I enjoy doing things with you, Kaname.”

Kaname blushed.


***********************************

As it turns out, the janitor had more than enough grudges to settle with Sousuke. The sesame sauce on the cafeteria floor was merely a minor irritant. He didn’t strike Sousuke. He didn’t dip him in a vat of cleaning solution. He didn’t even slop water on his shoes with a mop.

“You will come with me over the lunch break,” the man said. “I often miss my afternoon meal when I have to clean up after one of your escapades.”

“It is not a problem.” Sousuke considered the man’s statement to be an order,

Most students would have been ready to scream after doing what Sousuke did next. Sousuke merely took everything in stride, learning what he could.

The janitor took Sousuke on a tour of all of his facilities, babbling on endlessly about the effectiveness of one cleaner or another. He described just how much work it took to mop up or scrub up after bombs, food fights, fire extinguisher battles, and the like. He and Sousuke both spent time removing new graffiti bout Sousuke off of the school walls.

“I thank you for your instruction, Sir.”

Sousuke’s response caught the janitor by surprise.

“Well, young man. Any time you want to learn more about the janitorial profession, my door is always open. I always have a spare mop ready.” The janitor actually smiled.

“That is good to hear. Miss Chidori causes sizeable messes on occasion. I think this tour would be of benefit for her too. She has already shown skills in matters of trash removal.”

“OK. I’ll talk to the Principal about it….” the janitor promised as Sousuke headed off for Cultural Day.


**************************************

A large stage had been set up in the gymnasium. A sea of folding chairs surrounded it. Banners hung everywhere, telling about the background of Jindai and the history of Japan. In one corner, Sousuke had been hung in effigy.

The first presentation of the day was done by a group of professional musicians. They performed a program of Japanese cultural music, using three general classes of instruments: percussion, stringed, and wind. A number of unusual instruments, including bells used in Buddhist ceremonies, were also demonstrated.

Thunder filled the room when the huge Odaiko drums were played. The noise covered up pranks done to Sousuke. The sound of taiko drums drowned out Kaname’s shouts at the pranksters.

Smaller hourglass drums---kotsuzumi and otzusumi were also used. One girl took a pair of chopsticks and kept the beat on Sousuke’s head. Kaname beat a lively tune on *her* with the halisen.

Sousuke had a repite while the players demonstrated the 13-string koto and the 3-string shamisen. The biwa---a short-necked lute---would later be played by one of the Jindai students during a puppet show. The visitors explained that the instrument was once played by blind monk entertainers.

The most famous type of flute shown was the shakuhachi bamboo flute. Imported from China in the distant past, it had become associated with Buddhist ‘Priests of Nothingness.’ A number of students thought that would be a good thing for Sousuke to become---a way of saying the school might be a more peaceful place if he wasn’t there. Nokan, takebue, and shinobue flutes were also played.

After the professionals played, students versed in the traditional instruments gave a short recital of their own. They would perform larger pieces on Wednesday.

Next up was the Bunraku, the Japanese puppet theater. It was closer in style to Punch and Judy than Pinnochio. There were no strings---performers are hidden behind a curtain. The puppets were large---about one half life size---each operated by three students.

In professional plays, the topics are usually historical and deal with the common Japanese theme of girl and ninjo---the conflict between social obligations and human emotions. To many Japanese, Chikamatsu’s ‘Love Suicides at Sonezaki’ were of equal stature with Romeo and Juliet.

A number of students had written the play. Others had made costumes for the rented puppets. The storyline had been kept a secret from everyone. Many of the students were restless at the start. Their generation didn’t have much exposure to this type of performance. Their attitude soon changed.

The musume---maiden puppet head---was strangely familiar. It wore a scowl and had long blue hair, not the intricate hair style seen in most traditional women. The bunshichi---warrior puppet head---had short scraggly hair and a cross-shaped scar on one cheek.

“Hey, are those Kenchin and Karyou?” One Gundam fanatic shouted out. He was pelted with shoes. It was official. There was at least one person in the school more clueless than Sousuke.

“Kaname, I believe the one is supposed to be you. But, the chest is too large. The posterior is too small. Should I point this out to them?”

Sousuke flew back over two rows of seats, courtesy of the halisen. From where she stood, kaname replied. “The warrior puppet is different that you, too, Sousuke. IT doesn’t feel pain.”

Often enough, art imitates life. The opening part of the Bunraku had the maiden take a large paper object and repeatedly beat the warrior. Soon after that, the misadventures of the two were depicted in frenetic detail. The warrior mistook a new hairdo as a wild animal attacking. He sliced it with his samurai sword. The warrior thought a kimono sash was a snake and cut it in two. The maiden was naked underneath. The maiden sung a song of longing and readied herself for a kiss. The warrior kissed his sword. On and on it went.

The show was so popular, the presenting students promised to write another one. Kaname promised herself that the presenters would get the ‘dirty jobs' at the remainder of that school year’s events.

The final show for the day would be Kabuki. As it was not a military topic, Sousuke was able to give some of the background history to his fellow students.

“Early performances had been all-female, due to their sensual nature. Kanamae, what does sensual mean?”

Kaname put her face in her hands. She chose her words carelessly. “Not now, Sousuke. I’ll tell you later.” The oohs and ahhs from her classmates made her blush.

“Thank you, Kaname. No doubt your lesson will be as thorough as always.” Kaname sank down into her chair. “The performers were prostitutes, and male audiences often got out of control.”

“YEH!!! Let’s have some of THAT today!” One of the boys shouted.

“Kaname, is your character---” Sousuke wasn’t able to finish that question. Kaname winced. Her foot was sore after booting Sousuke in the belly.

“The young male performers who took over for the women were---ironically---prostitutes themselves.”

At that, a number of wrestlers started calling out the name of the rugby player who had given the apple to Sousuke. A small riot threatened to break out. Even in such a simple task, Sousuke had the potential to incite civic unrest.

“Later, older actors became more common, and more formalized and strictly theatrical dramas were enacted. Kabuki is performed on a large revolving stage with scenic backdrops and trcks such as trapdoors for surprise entrances. Kamite---stage left---is often where the important characters will be found. Standard male roles include the handsome lover…”

“Kiss him, Kaname!” Someone yelled out. It was Mizuke, her attempt to conceal her voice failed. Kaname went to pay her a brief visit.

“…or the handsome hero…”

“Kiss him TWICE, Kaname.” Shinji was smart enough to run.

“…or the evil samurai…”

“KICK HIM IN THE NUTS.” That came from the entire rugby team. Kaname put her hand on her chin, pondering.

“Roles for the female characters included high ranking samurai lady…”

“Grab her, Sagara!” That came from one of the wrestlers.

“Kaname?” Sousuke asked.

“Moron!” Sousuke was pushed over his chair.

“I shall resume. High ranking samurai lady… virtuous young maiden…”

“That lets Chidori out!” When the crowd pointed out the perpetrator, he high-tailed it out of the gym.

“…and wicked woman.” Nobody said anything. It was dead quiet. Everybody was staring at Kaname.”

“WHAT?!!” Kaname huffed. She tapped the halisen on her arm.

“Nothing.” “I didn’t say anything.” “I had something in my eye.” “It was HIM” Everybody spoke up at once.

“Traditional Kabuki is highly melodramatic….”

Everybody looked at Kaname again, but quickly looked at the ceiling or their fingernails when she glared at them.

“…but, it is strictly historical. Like Shakespeare’s works, the characters in the plays and stories are often familiar to the audience.” Finished, Sousuke went to sit down again. He was prevented by one of the students who wrote this play.

“Sousuke, you need to come down with us to get in costume.” The girl fought hard to keep from smiling.

“But, I have had no opportunity to practice!” Sousuke was not one for performing.

“It’s OK, Sousuke. It’s all in good fun” Kaname said, trying to reassure him.

“I’m glad you feel that way. We need you too, Kaname.” A boy as carrying bundles of costumes.

“WHAT?!” Kaname’s voice carried across the huge room.

“It is not a problem,” Sousuke said. “It is all in good fun.”

“WHO ASKED YOU!” Sousuke tumbled down to the stage area.

The play was a historical drama, depicting one of the greatest battle in the history of ancient Japan. Sousuke and Kaname need not have worried about their spoken lines---they had none.

Sousuke was the back half of a costume horse.

Kaname was put in front of him.

The warrior ‘riding’ Sousuke took great glee in swatting the horse’s rump with his sword. Sousuke was black-and-blue by the end of the performance. Kabuki is a dying art form amongst the younger generation, but the students loved that performance. They wanted an encore. With the horse.

“I always knew Sagara was a horse’s ass!” That was Shirai, looking for attention.

“Hey Sagara, how’s the view in there?” One of the swimmers shouted out.

“It is not unpleasant…” Sousuke’s muffled voice replied

“SOUSUKE!!!” came from the other end. No one could see Kaname blush.

The rear part of the horse came flying off. Sousuke fell down a trap door one of the girls had conveniently opened.

“HMMPPFF! Leave him in there,” Kaname grunted.


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End of part 2