[FIC] Cold Turkey (part 3)
Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 1:05 am
WEDNESDAY
Sousuke became a status symbol of sorts. It was a passing fad thing. Which ever student group managed to pull a prank on him gained some status points in the school. The art class struck first.
If anything, the student body was becoming adept at forgery. The art teacher had been handed a memo, supposedly from the Principal. Sousuke was going to serve as the live model for the class. When the teacher flipped to the next chapter in the lesson planner, it turned out to be nudes.
Sousuke was sweating heavily when he stepped out of the dressing room. He was allowed a large fig leaf---nothing more. The resultant drawings were interesting. There were some guys who left out the leaf. Naturally, one part of Sousuke’s anatomy was conspicuously absent from their paintings. A number of girls, still in to Sousuke fan club despite ‘Sagara Week,’ asked for two pieces of paper so they could sketch a side view. Most drawings and paintings bore a striking resemblance to earlier works. Sousuke was depicted as naked. A majority of artists drew him hanging from trees, wrapped up in rope.
Hackers had managed to get into the scheduling computer. Sousuke was assigned to the Home Economics class for that day, following Art Class. The Western style curriculum was on trial, to see if it had any place in a Japanese school system. Kaname happened to be in the same class.
The teacher was strict, playing everything by the book with no exceptions. Sousuke was forced to wear a large frilly apron and a hair cap. Kyouko asked to be excused---she said she was going to the bathroom, but was actually intent on getting more film. Sousuke was on his best behavior, but still managed to end up on the bad side of a number of the girls. First, despite having no explosives on hand, he managed to blow up the dessert of the day.
“Too much baking powder, Mr. Sagara. And, it goes in the oven, not a pressure cooker.” The teacher’s words were soon written in Sousuke’s notebook. Those words did nothing to appease the three girls covered with a thick layer of batter.
Second, when it came down to the judging of the next project, Sousuke’s cake placed second. That earned him the jealous glare of a number of different girls. Kaname took notice, overhearing a number of girls plotting to sabotage Sousuke’s next dish.
“Teacher, I suggest that Sousuke be used to judge the next batch. It will give everyone a reason to see who can do the best job.” Kaname smiled. That way Sousuke couldn’t show anyone else up.
“That’s a great idea, Miss Chidori. Mr. Sagara, you can hang up your apron. The hair net is optional.”
Once again, Kaname failed to think things through. She had set Sousuke up even worse than before.
“OK ladies, Kabocha muffins with nama cream. Start off making your pumpkin paste.” The girls all got to work. The teacher gave Sousuke a short course on judging baked good.
When they were finished, the girls all lined up. Some were tittering nervously---they actually wanted to make a good impressing on Sousuke. Others had sly smiles---who knows what they might be up to. Kaname just didn’t want to make a fool of herself. When it was their turn, each girl bowed to Sousuke, dropped down on her knees, and held the platter she carried up above her head.
Sousuke took his job very seriously.
“Excellent consistency. Flavor a bit bland, but pleasant. The cream is too thick.” The girl thanked Sousuke for his attention and returned to her seat.
Kyouko had a similar evaluation. She smiled, then sat down.
On the third muffin, Sousuke’s eyes opened wide. He wanted to speak, but no words came out.
“Ooops…I just remembered, the recipe called for sugar. I used salt.” her friends patted that girl on the back. Sousuke also had to suffer through ‘accidents’ using pepper, mustard powder, and even onions.
Kaname was the last in line. “Here you go Sousuke. I hope you like it.” Kaname found that she was holding her breath. Why? It was only Sousuke. It was nothing more than a stupid pumpkin muffin.
Sousuke bit into the muffin. The whole group of girls sat on the edge of their seats---there was no telling what might happen. Kyouko was ready.
“Commendable effort, Kaname….” Sousuke began.
Kaname smiled.
“However, I am confused. Did they supply you with inferior ingredients? It is not up to your usual adequate standard.”
Kaname’s jaw dropped open. ‘Adequate?’
“The taste is very good, but the muffin is overly firm….”
Kaname growled. She bit down on her oven mitt to muffle the sound.
“If you put one on either end of a short rope, you could make an effective bolo.”
Kaname went over and picked up a large spatula. She had left the halisen in her locker.
“Your efforts at Waste Collection spoke to a much higher standard….”
“BIG IDIOT!!!” Kaname brought a large shelled out pumpkin over Sousuke’s head. He looked like something out of ‘The Headless Horseman.’ “YOU BROKE THE RULES… NO OTAKU STUFF ALLOWED!!!”
The girls all took notes on how to treat a troublesome man. The teacher looked on as well---her husband had been getting uppity lately.
“I’ll show you ‘Adequate,’ Sousuke!” Kaname pelted Sousuke with an entire carton of eggs.
“Mrrffllbrffll” Sousuke replied from inside the pumpkin.
“I think this bowl of bean paste might be ‘overly firm.’ Moron!” She poured the mixture down Sousuke’s shirt.
“Erfflmrmrgrbll!!!” Sousuke said, dancing about.
“Bolo? When I’m through, YOU’LL be ready for Waste Collection!” Kaname opened the oven. A number of girls rushed up and pulled Sousuke out.
“Kaname,” Kyouko said, holding onto her friend’s arm. “I thought your plan was to protect Sousuke!”
“O! I forgot….” Kaname looked somewhat sheepish for a moment. That is, until she noted a small number of girls asking if Sousuke was alright. They all offered to help clean him off. He could use the girls’ shower if necessary.
“SOUSUKE!!!”
*************************************************
Walking down the hallway, Sousuke noted that most of the lights were out. He suspected a trap. The words he heard didn’t make any sense.
“Everything that can be invented has been invented. Charles H. Duell, U.S. Patent Office Commisioner, 1899.”
Sousuke thought he recognized that voice. It sounded like a small scrawny boy with overly thick glasses. Was that his form moving in the shadows?
“640K ought to be enough for anybody. Bill Gates, 1981.”
Another body obscured by darkness. That had sounded like an extremely tall girl with a penchant for computers.
“Louis Pasteur’s theory of Germs is ridiculous. Pierre Pachet, professor of Physiology at Toulousse, 1872.”
Was that the short chubby guy with the acne problem?
“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Decca Recording Co., rejecting the Beatles, 1962.”
That was the girl who had the large braces and ponytails.
“Beatles?”
“How could insects be playing music?”
“Huh?”
“Sorry guys,” the girl said. “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.”
“We already did computers.”
“Geez.”
“Make her draw the periodical table on the lunchroom table with ketchup again!”
Sousuke began to get worried. He knew who he faced. Nerds. There was no telling what THEY might do.
The lights went entirely out.
There was heavy breathing. “Sousuke, I’m you father.” Nerd humor: ‘The Empire Strikes back.’
“No, that’s impossible.” Sousuke liked that movie. His response was automatic.
“Good enough! You won yourself a chance at escape, young Hallwalker. If you can give us an Infamous Quote, you can go free. If you do not, it’s the probe droid for you.” There was the sound of a high-powered drill.
Sousuke was caught on the horns of a dilemma. Who in their right mind wanted to face nerds with power tools? But, the only quotation that came to mind would break his pledge. His opposing thoughts held a debate, much like the shoulder angel and shoulder devil in Western cartoons. ‘Kaname is not here now’ was the winning argument. He would apologize to her later, when he was safe. This was not the major part of his promise. He would stick to that, no matter what.
“Airplanes are interesting toys, but of no military value. Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Supeieure de Guerre.” Sousuke began to sweat.
There was a rush of mumbling. Sousuke couldn’t make anything out. It reminded him of Jawas.
“You are correct. You are free to go. But, I should inform you of one important fact. You are one of US, now.” That statement was followed by maniacal laughter.
“Yes.”
“Most certainly.”
“Forever.”
“I am sorry, but I do not belong to any groups.” Sousuke had won. That should suffice.
“Airplanes are interesting toys….” It was his voice. They had a tape recorder.
“I’m certain Miss Chidori would like to hear this interesting recording.” The voice was evil through and through.
*******************************************
Gym class should have been a refuge for Sousuke. The instructor was ex-military and no nonsense. No one should have been allowed to get out of line. But, as it turned out, it was HIS car that Sousuke once thought might be a terrorist vehicle. Sousuke’s excuse of ‘Only terrorists and people with very bad taste select that vehicle’ did not sit well with him. He was also very upset that all four wheels had come loose and rolled away in the middle of rush hour traffic.
“Today we will be running the mile,” the gym teacher announced. “You can all thank Mr. Sagara for that.” He held a grudge for a long time. His car had been repaired over two months ago.
Sousuke got evil looks from every body, even Shinji. Especially Shinji.
“You’re all big boys. So, we’re not going to worry just about distance today. You have to show me good running form. If you don’t, you’ll do the distance again!”
Some of the guys were worried. Most thought they knew what was going on. They suspected that Sousuke was going to be doing a LOT of running. They were right.
Sousuke had no problem whatsoever with the first mile. He finished far ahead of the next runner. When all of the boys were gathered together, the instructor spoke to them.
“I’ve seen young girls do better, but that was enough to get by. Get yourselves some water, and take a breather.” The boys began following that order. “Everyone except for Mr. Sagara. You will be running again. You showed a deplorable lack of sportsmanship, finishing so far ahead of your classmates. Go!” He fired a starter’s pistol.
The second mile was no harder than the first. When Sousuke crossed the finish line, he walked over to his coach.
“Well, exhausted yet, Mr. Sagara?” The coach was hopeful.
“No Sir. I have been very busy of late. I have not had time for my usual training. I wish to thank you for this opportunity.”
For a moment, the coach was stunned. Then he smiled. “You all heard that,” he said to the other boys. “Such insolence cannot be tolerated!!! Start running mister. Think about what you did.”
“Wash his mouth out with soup!”
“Make him do TWO miles.”
“Have him run backwards.”
The rugby boys were loving it. Sagara would be reduced to a crawling, puking wreck. That would teach him!
Sousuke remained silent when he finished that mile. The gym teacher was growing angry. Even though if it wasn’t Sousuke’s intention, he was making a fool out of the man.
“Do you know what you did incorrectly, young man?” The instructor frantically tried to find a reasonable excuse.
“No sir.”
“Then, for your ignorance, you have earned yourself a fourth mile.” He smiled. THAT would do. “If you make it under eight minutes, you’re finished. If you don’t, get ready for number five.”
Sousuke took off again. He enjoyed running. Once, he had thought about training to run the actual path run by Pheiddippedes between Athens and what had been Sparta. His career kept him too busy. As he ran, he began thinking about the events of the Battle of Marathon, 490 B.C. That shouldn’t be against Kaname’s rules.
“You boys well rested now?” the instructor asked the remainder of the gym class. “Because if you are, I have a pocket full of yen for anybody who can slow Mr. Sagara down.” The rest of the boys, with the exception of Shinji, took off as if they had been shot out of the barrel of a cannon.
As it turned out, Sousuke would have even more pursuers. The girls’ class was out now, and they were in their Long Distance Running block as well. One girl held a grudge against Sousuke after he shaved the dog she had brought to class. He had wanted to be certain that the German Shepherd did not have any tattoos marking it as a trainee at a number of little known schools for attack dogs favored by underground mercenary and terrorist groups.
“I’ll bring bentos for an entire week for the first girl that can catch up to Sousuke and pants him. Hard!”
For a long while, Kaname was in the lead. “Sousuke!” She shouted as she sped along. “Sousuke, I got a chance to hear a VERY interesting audio recording.”
By the end of gym class, Sousuke had worked up a good sweat. The rest of the girls and guys were spread all over the track. Most were on their backs, gasping for breath.
“That was amazing, Sousuke.” Kaname was wobbling, but still walking. She held up her hands. “Don’t worry. I promise I won’t do anything. I’m too tired to do anything.”
“You ran very well for someone with your physical proportions, Kaname.”
Kaname’s eyes narrowed. She walked up behind Sousuke. There was a sound of tearing cloth. Sousuke’s eyes rolled back in his head.
“B-B-But….. K-K-Kaname….. you promised!”
“I know, Sousuke. We’re even now. Let that be a lesson to you. Stick to your promise. And, never trust a nerd!!!”
*******************************************
After all the running everybody did, they should have been in a more mellow mood. They were not. Just about every boy and girl in Sousuke’s class made it a point to spill, drop, or crush some kind of food on Sousuke over lunch break.
“That really is uncalled for,” Kaname said, her own anger gone. “It’s not as if you forced them to chase you.” She tried to offer Sousuke some of her rolled omelet. He refuse, sticking with the dog biscuits.
“It is not a problem, Kaname. Something good is coming out of it. They are learning unity.”
Kaname just shook her head. She couldn’t help but smiling. There was no way she was going to let Sousuke know, but she was truly impressed yet again, seeing how he kept such a level head and an upbeat attitude.
“Do you have a part in the upcoming Music Festival, Sousuke?” Things had been so hectic lately, Kaname had forgotten to ask before. She had the role of a Kabuki dancer during one of the musical presentations.
“No, I have not been given an assignment.”
“O, we’ll take care of THAT, won’t we boys.” The entire drama class hog-tied Sousuke and led him away. No doubt they were still angry over the last time he blew up one of their shows, thinking they were actual soldiers intent on kidnapping Kaname.
The presentations all went very well. Afterwards, Sousuke was walking a little funny.
“Sousuke, are you OK?” Kaname sounded concerned. “I saw the drama class. Some of their members did very well with the Odaikos. I didn’t see you though. Were you running the light or sound boards?”
“No, Kaname. I was assigned to a drum.”
“But Sousuke, I saw all of the drums. I was up close. I didn’t see you.” Kaname didn’t think that Sousuke would lie to her.
“You probably did not check *inside* of the drums.”
**********************************************
After the Music Day, the students were allowed to use the rest of the day for their science projects. Sousuke headed out towards the Tokyo Zoo. Kaname accompanied him, as the Art Museum she needed to visit was in the same general area.
Before they left, however, Sosuke needed to get through the latest round of shenanigans. Kaname had stopped feeling guilty. Now she was feeling annoyed. Her fellow students had been at it for three whole days, and didn’t show any signs of letting up.
“Only Sousuke,” she said quietly to herself. “Only Sousuke.”
When Kaname was in the girls’ room, Sousuke was jumped by the entire girls volleyball team. They had two missions. The first was to show Sousuke their appreciation for a memorable bus trip. When Kaname would find him shirtless and pantless, he would be covered with lipstick from head to toe. The second was payback for the digging up the sand of their volleyball pits looking for possible mines. After she growled at seeing the lipstick marks, Kaname laughed so hard she almost passed out. The girls had brought an electric razor. They had also shaved Sousuke eyebrows off.
“Are you OK, Sousuke?”
“Yes, Kaname.” He had a strange look on his face. “It felt….. Interesting.”
“What? JERK!!!” Kaname gave him an elbow in the gut and started stomping away.
“Ow, Kaname. What is wrong about finding the shaving process interesting?”
Kaname stopped and shook her head. What would be worse, having Sousuke enjoy being kissed by a dozen girls, or Sousuke not even taking notice of the kisses of a dozen girls?
It took them a while to find Sousuke’s clothes. His pants were in the girls’ locker room. They were treated with a dozen different perfumes. His shirt was stuffed inside of a large P.A. speaker. If the belt buckle hadn’t been left hanging out, they never would have found it. One sock was flying from the front flag pole. The other was sitting inside the awards case, next to a hand drawn plaque that read ‘Jindai Chamionship, final score. Girls’ Volleyball 12, Sousuke Sagara 0.’
“Talk about knowing how to win friends and influence people. You really are a monster, Sousuke.” Kaname was in a good mood. She hadn’t found a bag of cow manure in *her* locker, or a bunch of steamed crabs in her book bag.
“It is not by intention, Kaname. Things happen in the course of my duty. As long as you remain unharmed, I am content.”
Kaname smiled.
“But, it seems that you have won a lot of admirers, too.”
Kaname stopped smiling.
“Sousuke?” Kaname didn’t like the sound of Sousuke’s statement.
“When I managed to remove myself from wood bin in the craftsman room, I found a number of posters. I removed all that I could find.”
“What posters, Sosusuke?” Kanmame began to have a bad feeling in her stomach.
“Uh….”
“Sousuke….” Kaname was NOT in the mood for the ‘Uh’ game.
“Uh….”
“SOUSUKE!!!” She screamed directly into Sousuke’s ear.
“Here.” He handed Kaname a thick ream of papers from out of his malodorous book bag.
Obviously, some one had great talent with computers and graphic arts. There was a picture of a jackass with Kaname’s head. There was a poster with a dog’s head on Kaname’s body. There were a number of variations on a pornographic theme with Sousuke’s and Kaname’s head. Those were the nicer ones.
“OOOOHHH!!!” Kaname was NOT happy.
“I guess you can look on the positive side, Kaname.”
“WHAT???” The look on Kaname’s face clearly challenged Sousuke to find anything positive in this latest prank.
“Despite what you might think, my methods must be having some success. I do not believe they could develop such anger and jealousy over three days. If anything, they should feel a debt towards you for the fun that they have had.” Sousuke ran his hand over his face where the eyebrows once were.
“What is your point, Sousuke?” Kaname’s face was particularly sour looking.
“They have not done these things to you before. I doubt they will do so again after the week is up.”
“I see.” Kaname nodded her head. It seems that Sousuke’s protection WAS worth something after all. That made her feel better somehow.
“But, that means they may now consider YOU fair game, Kaname.”
Kaname stopped short, her eyes going very wide. She seriously considered calling in sick the next two days.
As they were walking out of the school to head over to the train station, Kaname found out the truth of Sousuke’s statement the hard way.
“O, Chiddd---orrrrrrr---eeeeeeeeeee….” It was the boys’ Track Team. They had been scheduled to make a trip to watch the International World Meet in the Tokyo Dome. But, because the school was running out of money, Kaname had to decide between two events that needed funding. She gave the Jindai Herpetologist Club money to see the reptile and amphibian show in Nagoya, since the Track Team had been to an event late the year before.
With Sousuke standing idly by, the dragged her over to the flag pole, loped the rope anround her ankles, and hefted her high into the air. Her screams carried a good five city blocks. She had invented a dozen new curse words by the time Sousuke got her down.
“Was the view interesting up there, Kaname?”
“SOUSUKE!!!”
*********************************************
Riding on the crowded train, Kaname tried to put a positive spin on the past three days.
“Well Sousuke, you’ve managed to go three days without blowing something up!”
“Yes, Kaname. Except in baking.”
“That does not count, Sousuke. You know what I meant.” Kaname laughed, remembering the look on the Home-Ec teacher’s face. It was priceless.
“Yes, Kaname.”
“And you didn’t even turn into a pumpkin or anything did you???” Kaname laughed.
Sousuke stared at her.
“Huh? O!” It wasn’t the best example. Home-Ec, again.
“It is not a problem for me, Kaname. I have been through much worse.” Sousuke turned to stare out the train window.
“I see.” Kaname’s voice got husky, seeing Sousuke’s reaction.
Sousuke remained quiet.
“Would it help to talk to someone about it, Sousuke. But, I guess they have people at Mithril for that kind of stuff, huh.” Kaname shivered. No doubt---given the hints she had gotten from Sousuke, Tessa, Melissa, and Kurz---Sousuke must have spend a significant amount of time talking with psychologists.
“Yes, Kaname.”
Kaname decided to remain quiet. Her and her big mouth. She hadn’t meant to cause Sousuke any pain.
“It started when I was on my own in Kabul. After my parents had died….”
Sousuke went on to tell Kaname about his days as a street urchin, and his days with the mujahadeen. It wasn’t a pretty story. At times, Kaname’s face went dead white. Other times, the tears coursed down her cheeks. She learned a lot more than she thought she wanted to know, but she somehow felt better. She realized something. With all that Sousuke had gone through, it was amazing that he hadn’t turned into a raving maniac over the past three days.
His voice growing hoarse, Sousuke stopped talking after he had shared painful memories of a mission in Guatamala. His face hadn’t changed, but there was a slight spark of pain in his eyes. It was a miraculous sight to Kaname. Sousuke Sagara was human after all.
“Sousuke?” Kaname needed to ask this next question. She was afraid of what the answer might be.
“Yes, Kaname.”
“The way you act in school….. Is that because you enjoy guns and bombs? Do you….. Like shooting things and blowing stuff up?” She tried to find the right words. “Is it hard in High School, not being able to kill when you face people you view as enemies?” She looked down at her lap.
“It is very hard in High School, Kaname.”
Kaname’s face fell. She didn’t want to think of Sousuke as a wild dog on a leash.
“It is hard, because I do not fit in.” He paused a moment. “I no longer kill out of need or anger. I merely do what needs to be done to stay alive, and to complete missions that save many other lives. It is not fun. I do not find pleasure in it. Sometimes….” His voice became very bleak. He looked out of the train window again. Kaname wished she could see his eyes.
“O….” Kaname didn’t know what to say.
They were both quiet for a while longer.
“Thank you, Kaname.”
“For what, Sousuke?” Kaname didn’t feel as if she deserved any thoughts. Her suspicions had been rather accusatory.
“For listening. For asking.” There was a different spark in his eyes momentarily, before the wall went up again.
Kaname wasn’t certain what she felt.
***************************************
Sousuke’s first trip to the zoo was memorable. He carried off his duties with great aplomb. Despite showering a number of times, he remained somewhat fragrant. Kaname threatened to sit in another car, but stayed with him just the same. She was carrying a large number of art books for her project.
After they left the station and were headed down the street, they ran into serious trouble. Very serious trouble. They were not dealing with high school students any more.
“Well, well, well. I think I recognize that blue-haired little cutie. Don’t you boys?”
It was one of the gangster’s that Kaname had mouthed off to at the amusement park, the day she was on a date with a boy she had once had a crush on.
“Yeh, I remember.” The man threw away a bottle of sake he finished. “She didn’t seem to think much about my drinking habits.”
“How could I forget such a pleasant experience,” the third man said, paring his fingernails with a sharp little blade.
“And unless I miss my guess, that would be Sousuke Sagara with her. We know about him now too, don’t we boys?” The first speaker pulled a roll of coins out of his pocket and formed a fist around it.
“Yes, word on the street is that he’s going cold turkey, swearing off violence. Amazing how much some people talk, isn’t it? Never know when you might pick up something useful by listening.” He slipped on a pair of brass knuckles.
“Yes, especially to little birds. Want to know what a litlte bird told me?” The one man looked at his two comrades, smiling.
“Sure!” The one man rammed his knife into a telephone pole and listened intently.
“Seems some little bird once saw someone named Sagara getting out of a strange machine once. Want to guess what it looked like?”
“Hmmm… a giant mouse …..or a mouse-bear-chipmunk kind of thing?” Exactly.
“Bonta-Kun,” Sousuke said.
“Yes,” the leader of the trio spoke. “Nice of you to admit it. I like a man with guts. Seems to me you did a favor to some members of one of the organizations once. Because of that, we won’t hurt you too bad.”
“No, you’ll live.”
“Mostly in one piece, too.”
“How can you do that to someone who can’t fight back. You are just mrphll grbll mrbll---” Sousuke had clamped a hand over her mouth.
“That mouth is going to get her in trouble some day,” one man said, throwing his coin roll up in the air and catching it.
“Yes,” Sousuke agreed. “But, not today. She does not belong in this fight. Will you let her go unharmed? I will say, if you promise not to harm her.”
“Souske, no!!!”
“Kaname, QUIET!!!” Sousuke had never raised his voice to her ever. In all likelihood he might never do it again. That was why it was so effective.
Kaname held her tongue. She was shivering, worried about what was going to happen to Sousuke. Then the guilt was just too strong to keep bottled up. “Please, Sousuke. Just forget about the damn promise. PLEASE!!!”
“No.” Sousuke looked over to the head man, who nodded his head. “Go home, Kaname. Unless you want to watch this.”
Kaname ran away crying. She called the police, but knew they wouldn’t get there in time. She sat outside of Sousuke’s apartment, planning on waiting until he came home.
He didn’t come home.
******************************************
End of part 3
Sousuke became a status symbol of sorts. It was a passing fad thing. Which ever student group managed to pull a prank on him gained some status points in the school. The art class struck first.
If anything, the student body was becoming adept at forgery. The art teacher had been handed a memo, supposedly from the Principal. Sousuke was going to serve as the live model for the class. When the teacher flipped to the next chapter in the lesson planner, it turned out to be nudes.
Sousuke was sweating heavily when he stepped out of the dressing room. He was allowed a large fig leaf---nothing more. The resultant drawings were interesting. There were some guys who left out the leaf. Naturally, one part of Sousuke’s anatomy was conspicuously absent from their paintings. A number of girls, still in to Sousuke fan club despite ‘Sagara Week,’ asked for two pieces of paper so they could sketch a side view. Most drawings and paintings bore a striking resemblance to earlier works. Sousuke was depicted as naked. A majority of artists drew him hanging from trees, wrapped up in rope.
Hackers had managed to get into the scheduling computer. Sousuke was assigned to the Home Economics class for that day, following Art Class. The Western style curriculum was on trial, to see if it had any place in a Japanese school system. Kaname happened to be in the same class.
The teacher was strict, playing everything by the book with no exceptions. Sousuke was forced to wear a large frilly apron and a hair cap. Kyouko asked to be excused---she said she was going to the bathroom, but was actually intent on getting more film. Sousuke was on his best behavior, but still managed to end up on the bad side of a number of the girls. First, despite having no explosives on hand, he managed to blow up the dessert of the day.
“Too much baking powder, Mr. Sagara. And, it goes in the oven, not a pressure cooker.” The teacher’s words were soon written in Sousuke’s notebook. Those words did nothing to appease the three girls covered with a thick layer of batter.
Second, when it came down to the judging of the next project, Sousuke’s cake placed second. That earned him the jealous glare of a number of different girls. Kaname took notice, overhearing a number of girls plotting to sabotage Sousuke’s next dish.
“Teacher, I suggest that Sousuke be used to judge the next batch. It will give everyone a reason to see who can do the best job.” Kaname smiled. That way Sousuke couldn’t show anyone else up.
“That’s a great idea, Miss Chidori. Mr. Sagara, you can hang up your apron. The hair net is optional.”
Once again, Kaname failed to think things through. She had set Sousuke up even worse than before.
“OK ladies, Kabocha muffins with nama cream. Start off making your pumpkin paste.” The girls all got to work. The teacher gave Sousuke a short course on judging baked good.
When they were finished, the girls all lined up. Some were tittering nervously---they actually wanted to make a good impressing on Sousuke. Others had sly smiles---who knows what they might be up to. Kaname just didn’t want to make a fool of herself. When it was their turn, each girl bowed to Sousuke, dropped down on her knees, and held the platter she carried up above her head.
Sousuke took his job very seriously.
“Excellent consistency. Flavor a bit bland, but pleasant. The cream is too thick.” The girl thanked Sousuke for his attention and returned to her seat.
Kyouko had a similar evaluation. She smiled, then sat down.
On the third muffin, Sousuke’s eyes opened wide. He wanted to speak, but no words came out.
“Ooops…I just remembered, the recipe called for sugar. I used salt.” her friends patted that girl on the back. Sousuke also had to suffer through ‘accidents’ using pepper, mustard powder, and even onions.
Kaname was the last in line. “Here you go Sousuke. I hope you like it.” Kaname found that she was holding her breath. Why? It was only Sousuke. It was nothing more than a stupid pumpkin muffin.
Sousuke bit into the muffin. The whole group of girls sat on the edge of their seats---there was no telling what might happen. Kyouko was ready.
“Commendable effort, Kaname….” Sousuke began.
Kaname smiled.
“However, I am confused. Did they supply you with inferior ingredients? It is not up to your usual adequate standard.”
Kaname’s jaw dropped open. ‘Adequate?’
“The taste is very good, but the muffin is overly firm….”
Kaname growled. She bit down on her oven mitt to muffle the sound.
“If you put one on either end of a short rope, you could make an effective bolo.”
Kaname went over and picked up a large spatula. She had left the halisen in her locker.
“Your efforts at Waste Collection spoke to a much higher standard….”
“BIG IDIOT!!!” Kaname brought a large shelled out pumpkin over Sousuke’s head. He looked like something out of ‘The Headless Horseman.’ “YOU BROKE THE RULES… NO OTAKU STUFF ALLOWED!!!”
The girls all took notes on how to treat a troublesome man. The teacher looked on as well---her husband had been getting uppity lately.
“I’ll show you ‘Adequate,’ Sousuke!” Kaname pelted Sousuke with an entire carton of eggs.
“Mrrffllbrffll” Sousuke replied from inside the pumpkin.
“I think this bowl of bean paste might be ‘overly firm.’ Moron!” She poured the mixture down Sousuke’s shirt.
“Erfflmrmrgrbll!!!” Sousuke said, dancing about.
“Bolo? When I’m through, YOU’LL be ready for Waste Collection!” Kaname opened the oven. A number of girls rushed up and pulled Sousuke out.
“Kaname,” Kyouko said, holding onto her friend’s arm. “I thought your plan was to protect Sousuke!”
“O! I forgot….” Kaname looked somewhat sheepish for a moment. That is, until she noted a small number of girls asking if Sousuke was alright. They all offered to help clean him off. He could use the girls’ shower if necessary.
“SOUSUKE!!!”
*************************************************
Walking down the hallway, Sousuke noted that most of the lights were out. He suspected a trap. The words he heard didn’t make any sense.
“Everything that can be invented has been invented. Charles H. Duell, U.S. Patent Office Commisioner, 1899.”
Sousuke thought he recognized that voice. It sounded like a small scrawny boy with overly thick glasses. Was that his form moving in the shadows?
“640K ought to be enough for anybody. Bill Gates, 1981.”
Another body obscured by darkness. That had sounded like an extremely tall girl with a penchant for computers.
“Louis Pasteur’s theory of Germs is ridiculous. Pierre Pachet, professor of Physiology at Toulousse, 1872.”
Was that the short chubby guy with the acne problem?
“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Decca Recording Co., rejecting the Beatles, 1962.”
That was the girl who had the large braces and ponytails.
“Beatles?”
“How could insects be playing music?”
“Huh?”
“Sorry guys,” the girl said. “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.”
“We already did computers.”
“Geez.”
“Make her draw the periodical table on the lunchroom table with ketchup again!”
Sousuke began to get worried. He knew who he faced. Nerds. There was no telling what THEY might do.
The lights went entirely out.
There was heavy breathing. “Sousuke, I’m you father.” Nerd humor: ‘The Empire Strikes back.’
“No, that’s impossible.” Sousuke liked that movie. His response was automatic.
“Good enough! You won yourself a chance at escape, young Hallwalker. If you can give us an Infamous Quote, you can go free. If you do not, it’s the probe droid for you.” There was the sound of a high-powered drill.
Sousuke was caught on the horns of a dilemma. Who in their right mind wanted to face nerds with power tools? But, the only quotation that came to mind would break his pledge. His opposing thoughts held a debate, much like the shoulder angel and shoulder devil in Western cartoons. ‘Kaname is not here now’ was the winning argument. He would apologize to her later, when he was safe. This was not the major part of his promise. He would stick to that, no matter what.
“Airplanes are interesting toys, but of no military value. Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Supeieure de Guerre.” Sousuke began to sweat.
There was a rush of mumbling. Sousuke couldn’t make anything out. It reminded him of Jawas.
“You are correct. You are free to go. But, I should inform you of one important fact. You are one of US, now.” That statement was followed by maniacal laughter.
“Yes.”
“Most certainly.”
“Forever.”
“I am sorry, but I do not belong to any groups.” Sousuke had won. That should suffice.
“Airplanes are interesting toys….” It was his voice. They had a tape recorder.
“I’m certain Miss Chidori would like to hear this interesting recording.” The voice was evil through and through.
*******************************************
Gym class should have been a refuge for Sousuke. The instructor was ex-military and no nonsense. No one should have been allowed to get out of line. But, as it turned out, it was HIS car that Sousuke once thought might be a terrorist vehicle. Sousuke’s excuse of ‘Only terrorists and people with very bad taste select that vehicle’ did not sit well with him. He was also very upset that all four wheels had come loose and rolled away in the middle of rush hour traffic.
“Today we will be running the mile,” the gym teacher announced. “You can all thank Mr. Sagara for that.” He held a grudge for a long time. His car had been repaired over two months ago.
Sousuke got evil looks from every body, even Shinji. Especially Shinji.
“You’re all big boys. So, we’re not going to worry just about distance today. You have to show me good running form. If you don’t, you’ll do the distance again!”
Some of the guys were worried. Most thought they knew what was going on. They suspected that Sousuke was going to be doing a LOT of running. They were right.
Sousuke had no problem whatsoever with the first mile. He finished far ahead of the next runner. When all of the boys were gathered together, the instructor spoke to them.
“I’ve seen young girls do better, but that was enough to get by. Get yourselves some water, and take a breather.” The boys began following that order. “Everyone except for Mr. Sagara. You will be running again. You showed a deplorable lack of sportsmanship, finishing so far ahead of your classmates. Go!” He fired a starter’s pistol.
The second mile was no harder than the first. When Sousuke crossed the finish line, he walked over to his coach.
“Well, exhausted yet, Mr. Sagara?” The coach was hopeful.
“No Sir. I have been very busy of late. I have not had time for my usual training. I wish to thank you for this opportunity.”
For a moment, the coach was stunned. Then he smiled. “You all heard that,” he said to the other boys. “Such insolence cannot be tolerated!!! Start running mister. Think about what you did.”
“Wash his mouth out with soup!”
“Make him do TWO miles.”
“Have him run backwards.”
The rugby boys were loving it. Sagara would be reduced to a crawling, puking wreck. That would teach him!
Sousuke remained silent when he finished that mile. The gym teacher was growing angry. Even though if it wasn’t Sousuke’s intention, he was making a fool out of the man.
“Do you know what you did incorrectly, young man?” The instructor frantically tried to find a reasonable excuse.
“No sir.”
“Then, for your ignorance, you have earned yourself a fourth mile.” He smiled. THAT would do. “If you make it under eight minutes, you’re finished. If you don’t, get ready for number five.”
Sousuke took off again. He enjoyed running. Once, he had thought about training to run the actual path run by Pheiddippedes between Athens and what had been Sparta. His career kept him too busy. As he ran, he began thinking about the events of the Battle of Marathon, 490 B.C. That shouldn’t be against Kaname’s rules.
“You boys well rested now?” the instructor asked the remainder of the gym class. “Because if you are, I have a pocket full of yen for anybody who can slow Mr. Sagara down.” The rest of the boys, with the exception of Shinji, took off as if they had been shot out of the barrel of a cannon.
As it turned out, Sousuke would have even more pursuers. The girls’ class was out now, and they were in their Long Distance Running block as well. One girl held a grudge against Sousuke after he shaved the dog she had brought to class. He had wanted to be certain that the German Shepherd did not have any tattoos marking it as a trainee at a number of little known schools for attack dogs favored by underground mercenary and terrorist groups.
“I’ll bring bentos for an entire week for the first girl that can catch up to Sousuke and pants him. Hard!”
For a long while, Kaname was in the lead. “Sousuke!” She shouted as she sped along. “Sousuke, I got a chance to hear a VERY interesting audio recording.”
By the end of gym class, Sousuke had worked up a good sweat. The rest of the girls and guys were spread all over the track. Most were on their backs, gasping for breath.
“That was amazing, Sousuke.” Kaname was wobbling, but still walking. She held up her hands. “Don’t worry. I promise I won’t do anything. I’m too tired to do anything.”
“You ran very well for someone with your physical proportions, Kaname.”
Kaname’s eyes narrowed. She walked up behind Sousuke. There was a sound of tearing cloth. Sousuke’s eyes rolled back in his head.
“B-B-But….. K-K-Kaname….. you promised!”
“I know, Sousuke. We’re even now. Let that be a lesson to you. Stick to your promise. And, never trust a nerd!!!”
*******************************************
After all the running everybody did, they should have been in a more mellow mood. They were not. Just about every boy and girl in Sousuke’s class made it a point to spill, drop, or crush some kind of food on Sousuke over lunch break.
“That really is uncalled for,” Kaname said, her own anger gone. “It’s not as if you forced them to chase you.” She tried to offer Sousuke some of her rolled omelet. He refuse, sticking with the dog biscuits.
“It is not a problem, Kaname. Something good is coming out of it. They are learning unity.”
Kaname just shook her head. She couldn’t help but smiling. There was no way she was going to let Sousuke know, but she was truly impressed yet again, seeing how he kept such a level head and an upbeat attitude.
“Do you have a part in the upcoming Music Festival, Sousuke?” Things had been so hectic lately, Kaname had forgotten to ask before. She had the role of a Kabuki dancer during one of the musical presentations.
“No, I have not been given an assignment.”
“O, we’ll take care of THAT, won’t we boys.” The entire drama class hog-tied Sousuke and led him away. No doubt they were still angry over the last time he blew up one of their shows, thinking they were actual soldiers intent on kidnapping Kaname.
The presentations all went very well. Afterwards, Sousuke was walking a little funny.
“Sousuke, are you OK?” Kaname sounded concerned. “I saw the drama class. Some of their members did very well with the Odaikos. I didn’t see you though. Were you running the light or sound boards?”
“No, Kaname. I was assigned to a drum.”
“But Sousuke, I saw all of the drums. I was up close. I didn’t see you.” Kaname didn’t think that Sousuke would lie to her.
“You probably did not check *inside* of the drums.”
**********************************************
After the Music Day, the students were allowed to use the rest of the day for their science projects. Sousuke headed out towards the Tokyo Zoo. Kaname accompanied him, as the Art Museum she needed to visit was in the same general area.
Before they left, however, Sosuke needed to get through the latest round of shenanigans. Kaname had stopped feeling guilty. Now she was feeling annoyed. Her fellow students had been at it for three whole days, and didn’t show any signs of letting up.
“Only Sousuke,” she said quietly to herself. “Only Sousuke.”
When Kaname was in the girls’ room, Sousuke was jumped by the entire girls volleyball team. They had two missions. The first was to show Sousuke their appreciation for a memorable bus trip. When Kaname would find him shirtless and pantless, he would be covered with lipstick from head to toe. The second was payback for the digging up the sand of their volleyball pits looking for possible mines. After she growled at seeing the lipstick marks, Kaname laughed so hard she almost passed out. The girls had brought an electric razor. They had also shaved Sousuke eyebrows off.
“Are you OK, Sousuke?”
“Yes, Kaname.” He had a strange look on his face. “It felt….. Interesting.”
“What? JERK!!!” Kaname gave him an elbow in the gut and started stomping away.
“Ow, Kaname. What is wrong about finding the shaving process interesting?”
Kaname stopped and shook her head. What would be worse, having Sousuke enjoy being kissed by a dozen girls, or Sousuke not even taking notice of the kisses of a dozen girls?
It took them a while to find Sousuke’s clothes. His pants were in the girls’ locker room. They were treated with a dozen different perfumes. His shirt was stuffed inside of a large P.A. speaker. If the belt buckle hadn’t been left hanging out, they never would have found it. One sock was flying from the front flag pole. The other was sitting inside the awards case, next to a hand drawn plaque that read ‘Jindai Chamionship, final score. Girls’ Volleyball 12, Sousuke Sagara 0.’
“Talk about knowing how to win friends and influence people. You really are a monster, Sousuke.” Kaname was in a good mood. She hadn’t found a bag of cow manure in *her* locker, or a bunch of steamed crabs in her book bag.
“It is not by intention, Kaname. Things happen in the course of my duty. As long as you remain unharmed, I am content.”
Kaname smiled.
“But, it seems that you have won a lot of admirers, too.”
Kaname stopped smiling.
“Sousuke?” Kaname didn’t like the sound of Sousuke’s statement.
“When I managed to remove myself from wood bin in the craftsman room, I found a number of posters. I removed all that I could find.”
“What posters, Sosusuke?” Kanmame began to have a bad feeling in her stomach.
“Uh….”
“Sousuke….” Kaname was NOT in the mood for the ‘Uh’ game.
“Uh….”
“SOUSUKE!!!” She screamed directly into Sousuke’s ear.
“Here.” He handed Kaname a thick ream of papers from out of his malodorous book bag.
Obviously, some one had great talent with computers and graphic arts. There was a picture of a jackass with Kaname’s head. There was a poster with a dog’s head on Kaname’s body. There were a number of variations on a pornographic theme with Sousuke’s and Kaname’s head. Those were the nicer ones.
“OOOOHHH!!!” Kaname was NOT happy.
“I guess you can look on the positive side, Kaname.”
“WHAT???” The look on Kaname’s face clearly challenged Sousuke to find anything positive in this latest prank.
“Despite what you might think, my methods must be having some success. I do not believe they could develop such anger and jealousy over three days. If anything, they should feel a debt towards you for the fun that they have had.” Sousuke ran his hand over his face where the eyebrows once were.
“What is your point, Sousuke?” Kaname’s face was particularly sour looking.
“They have not done these things to you before. I doubt they will do so again after the week is up.”
“I see.” Kaname nodded her head. It seems that Sousuke’s protection WAS worth something after all. That made her feel better somehow.
“But, that means they may now consider YOU fair game, Kaname.”
Kaname stopped short, her eyes going very wide. She seriously considered calling in sick the next two days.
As they were walking out of the school to head over to the train station, Kaname found out the truth of Sousuke’s statement the hard way.
“O, Chiddd---orrrrrrr---eeeeeeeeeee….” It was the boys’ Track Team. They had been scheduled to make a trip to watch the International World Meet in the Tokyo Dome. But, because the school was running out of money, Kaname had to decide between two events that needed funding. She gave the Jindai Herpetologist Club money to see the reptile and amphibian show in Nagoya, since the Track Team had been to an event late the year before.
With Sousuke standing idly by, the dragged her over to the flag pole, loped the rope anround her ankles, and hefted her high into the air. Her screams carried a good five city blocks. She had invented a dozen new curse words by the time Sousuke got her down.
“Was the view interesting up there, Kaname?”
“SOUSUKE!!!”
*********************************************
Riding on the crowded train, Kaname tried to put a positive spin on the past three days.
“Well Sousuke, you’ve managed to go three days without blowing something up!”
“Yes, Kaname. Except in baking.”
“That does not count, Sousuke. You know what I meant.” Kaname laughed, remembering the look on the Home-Ec teacher’s face. It was priceless.
“Yes, Kaname.”
“And you didn’t even turn into a pumpkin or anything did you???” Kaname laughed.
Sousuke stared at her.
“Huh? O!” It wasn’t the best example. Home-Ec, again.
“It is not a problem for me, Kaname. I have been through much worse.” Sousuke turned to stare out the train window.
“I see.” Kaname’s voice got husky, seeing Sousuke’s reaction.
Sousuke remained quiet.
“Would it help to talk to someone about it, Sousuke. But, I guess they have people at Mithril for that kind of stuff, huh.” Kaname shivered. No doubt---given the hints she had gotten from Sousuke, Tessa, Melissa, and Kurz---Sousuke must have spend a significant amount of time talking with psychologists.
“Yes, Kaname.”
Kaname decided to remain quiet. Her and her big mouth. She hadn’t meant to cause Sousuke any pain.
“It started when I was on my own in Kabul. After my parents had died….”
Sousuke went on to tell Kaname about his days as a street urchin, and his days with the mujahadeen. It wasn’t a pretty story. At times, Kaname’s face went dead white. Other times, the tears coursed down her cheeks. She learned a lot more than she thought she wanted to know, but she somehow felt better. She realized something. With all that Sousuke had gone through, it was amazing that he hadn’t turned into a raving maniac over the past three days.
His voice growing hoarse, Sousuke stopped talking after he had shared painful memories of a mission in Guatamala. His face hadn’t changed, but there was a slight spark of pain in his eyes. It was a miraculous sight to Kaname. Sousuke Sagara was human after all.
“Sousuke?” Kaname needed to ask this next question. She was afraid of what the answer might be.
“Yes, Kaname.”
“The way you act in school….. Is that because you enjoy guns and bombs? Do you….. Like shooting things and blowing stuff up?” She tried to find the right words. “Is it hard in High School, not being able to kill when you face people you view as enemies?” She looked down at her lap.
“It is very hard in High School, Kaname.”
Kaname’s face fell. She didn’t want to think of Sousuke as a wild dog on a leash.
“It is hard, because I do not fit in.” He paused a moment. “I no longer kill out of need or anger. I merely do what needs to be done to stay alive, and to complete missions that save many other lives. It is not fun. I do not find pleasure in it. Sometimes….” His voice became very bleak. He looked out of the train window again. Kaname wished she could see his eyes.
“O….” Kaname didn’t know what to say.
They were both quiet for a while longer.
“Thank you, Kaname.”
“For what, Sousuke?” Kaname didn’t feel as if she deserved any thoughts. Her suspicions had been rather accusatory.
“For listening. For asking.” There was a different spark in his eyes momentarily, before the wall went up again.
Kaname wasn’t certain what she felt.
***************************************
Sousuke’s first trip to the zoo was memorable. He carried off his duties with great aplomb. Despite showering a number of times, he remained somewhat fragrant. Kaname threatened to sit in another car, but stayed with him just the same. She was carrying a large number of art books for her project.
After they left the station and were headed down the street, they ran into serious trouble. Very serious trouble. They were not dealing with high school students any more.
“Well, well, well. I think I recognize that blue-haired little cutie. Don’t you boys?”
It was one of the gangster’s that Kaname had mouthed off to at the amusement park, the day she was on a date with a boy she had once had a crush on.
“Yeh, I remember.” The man threw away a bottle of sake he finished. “She didn’t seem to think much about my drinking habits.”
“How could I forget such a pleasant experience,” the third man said, paring his fingernails with a sharp little blade.
“And unless I miss my guess, that would be Sousuke Sagara with her. We know about him now too, don’t we boys?” The first speaker pulled a roll of coins out of his pocket and formed a fist around it.
“Yes, word on the street is that he’s going cold turkey, swearing off violence. Amazing how much some people talk, isn’t it? Never know when you might pick up something useful by listening.” He slipped on a pair of brass knuckles.
“Yes, especially to little birds. Want to know what a litlte bird told me?” The one man looked at his two comrades, smiling.
“Sure!” The one man rammed his knife into a telephone pole and listened intently.
“Seems some little bird once saw someone named Sagara getting out of a strange machine once. Want to guess what it looked like?”
“Hmmm… a giant mouse …..or a mouse-bear-chipmunk kind of thing?” Exactly.
“Bonta-Kun,” Sousuke said.
“Yes,” the leader of the trio spoke. “Nice of you to admit it. I like a man with guts. Seems to me you did a favor to some members of one of the organizations once. Because of that, we won’t hurt you too bad.”
“No, you’ll live.”
“Mostly in one piece, too.”
“How can you do that to someone who can’t fight back. You are just mrphll grbll mrbll---” Sousuke had clamped a hand over her mouth.
“That mouth is going to get her in trouble some day,” one man said, throwing his coin roll up in the air and catching it.
“Yes,” Sousuke agreed. “But, not today. She does not belong in this fight. Will you let her go unharmed? I will say, if you promise not to harm her.”
“Souske, no!!!”
“Kaname, QUIET!!!” Sousuke had never raised his voice to her ever. In all likelihood he might never do it again. That was why it was so effective.
Kaname held her tongue. She was shivering, worried about what was going to happen to Sousuke. Then the guilt was just too strong to keep bottled up. “Please, Sousuke. Just forget about the damn promise. PLEASE!!!”
“No.” Sousuke looked over to the head man, who nodded his head. “Go home, Kaname. Unless you want to watch this.”
Kaname ran away crying. She called the police, but knew they wouldn’t get there in time. She sat outside of Sousuke’s apartment, planning on waiting until he came home.
He didn’t come home.
******************************************
End of part 3