Chapter 2 – What is love?
“What?” she demanded, “What do you mean leaving for good?”
“I’ve been recalled. Someone else will be guarding you starting 7 days from now. It will be at least through out your college years,” his stomach knotted as he told her this. After a pause, “I won’t be bothering you or breaking in anymore, “ he managed pitifully and struggled to suppress showing his feelings.
Blinking a few times, trying to take this in, Kaname slowly walked over to Sousuke. “But…but…” is all she could lamely say.
She plopped down on the large couch beside him, tucked her legs up, clasped her legs in her arms, and they sat in silence for a while. When she gathered her composure again, Kaname knew it probably wasn’t any use but she pouted, “I don’t want anyone else to guard me”. Tears streamed down her face after her confession and she buried her head in his shoulder. Uncomfortably, he put an arm around her. She looked up a bit and asked, “Is it what you want? Do you want to go?”
He swallowed. Did he want to go? Since when did he think about what he wanted? For 2 years now, his only concern had been protecting Kaname. He didn’t want to protect her at first – he was horribly uncomfortable with it in fact. But now, he was going to have to leave. He’d grown to like her, to be friends with her. He saw her almost everyday. What would he do now? Could he just go back to focusing on other tasks as assigned? She’d changed him, but just how much – he couldn’t tell.
She sat up looking at him, growing annoyed at waiting for an answer. “Well?!?!? Do you or don’t you?” Kaname’s thoughts instantly raced to Tessa. Maybe he wants to go back to be around her again?
Feeling more uncomfortable than ever and not able to look at Kaname out of embarrassment, he managed a barely audible, “No.”
Feeling relieved to hear it Kaname ruffled his hair. Teasing him a bit, she said, “Well, soldier you are really sick. Your current orders are to rest, until ordered otherwise. We’ll talk more in the morning.” He started to get up, but she pushed his shoulder down to keep him from getting up. She grabbed the blankets and pillow off his cot and rummaged for some fever reducing medicine. He was too sick to disagree anymore. She tucked him in on the couch and sat down on the floor beside him. He was instantly asleep and snoring quietly. “Poor Sousuke – they put him in a situation then snatch him out of it with no thought to what he wants. He always does what they tell him. What will it get him in the end?” she thought to herself. She looked around his apartment, her eyes struck on the communications equipment and an idea formed in her head.
…
After implementing her plan as discreetly as possible, she made some soup and began to feel the late hour. Sleepily she eyed the blanket-less cot. Well, that option was out. Mr. Efficient Sousuke kept his apartment at a minimum temperature. She wasn’t used to that at all – and didn’t want to freeze tonight. There was a small space between Sousuke and the back of the couch. Did she dare sneak into that space and sleep next to him?
She dared it – she may soon not see him again. She carefully crawled in beside him, pulled the blanket up over both of them and inched her arm around him. He barley even stirred as she crawled in with him. His fever still hadn’t gone down. He was dreaming – she could feel his arms tensing and relaxing. Suddenly he jerked in his sleep and screamed, “No! Kaname!!!!”
She held him more tightly and whispered to him, “I’m here. It’s ok Sousuke.” He seemed to relax, but then realization dawned and he sat bolt upright on the couch and scrambled away startled – hitting her nose hard with his elbow and falling off the couch in the process. THUD! He looked up at her wild eyed and asked, “Kaname? What…what are you doing here?”
Holding her throbbing nose, hoping it wouldn’t start bleeding she waited to explain until the pain subsided and she was sure there was no blood. Through her hands over her face, her words were muffled, “There was no where else to sleep with blankets and I didn’t want to leave you alone. You were so sick – you STILL have a high fever.”
He was beet red from head to toe from the fever, the startling realization that she had been lying near him and the fact that he just smacked her in the nose. He was ready for the halisen slap – but this time it didn’t hit him. He looked down at her and meekly spoke, “I’m sorry about your nose – are you ok?” He tried to peel her hands off her face to see the damage. Her nose began to stop stinging and she giggled as he peeled her hands away, “Sorry for startling you.” She muffled several more giggles and gave up stifling them to let out a big laugh, while holding his hand with her own.
Sousuke shook his head and thought me may never understand girls – just what was so funny? Kaname ruffled his hair again and teased him with an evil little twinkle in her eye, “I’ve never seen you move so fast! Am I that scary here in the dark?”
“Uhh…no,” he looked down at the floor, “I won’t do it again.”
She looked at him mischievously, “What did you mean by that?” She grinned like a Cheshire cat and said, “Go a head and tell me what you’re thinking. I forgot the halisen at home – you’re safe.” He seemed to relax a little and sat up. Then in a more serious tone she said, “Maybe I should go home and let you get some sleep. I seem to be disturbing you.” Then, she offered, “I can check on you in the morning?”
“No!” he commanded and surprised himself at the command. Sousuke was unsure of quite what to say next and still looking down at the floor, “Please, I want you to stay – just like we were. For just a moment I felt…” he stumbled looking for the words he wanted. “I felt like … we were safe and the world was at peace. I’ve never felt like that before. I had a nightmare that you were killed, then I heard you whispering to me. I was never so relieved. For once, I had what I wanted.” She smiled, how could she not smile after a confession like that? He’d never spoken so much about how he felt about anything before. Her dare had been worth the effort and the assault on her nose.
“Ok. But just for tonight,” she blushed as she pacified him and she felt his forehead again. His fever was down a bit. She sighed with relief and glanced at the glow in the dark clock. 3 A. M. He could have the medicine again. She got up to get it and he watched her every move as the moonlight poured into one of the apartment windows. She returned with the meds and handed him a glass of water. His mind turned over her actions this night. No one had ever been this kind to him. People were always seeing what he could do for them – what skills he had that they could use. He had lived to do others bidding, to obey and often to kill on command. For the first time – someone actually was caring for him beyond military companionship. Granted those relationships run deep and he had lost many comrades he cared about – but this was different. He was piecing together his feelings and trying to understand hers.
They both felt awkward climbing back onto the couch together. They hadn’t planned out who would be where and were a bit of a jumble with Kaname on top of him – blushing profusely for a minute or two. He could even see her blush in the moonlight. “Hey! Make up your mind and scoot over!” she demanded with a gleam in her eye. He ended up lying on his back with an arm around her and she lay on her side with her head on his shoulder and her arm around him. He breathed in a deep breath and hugged her more tightly – he had never felt so satisfied. More thoughts swirled in Sousuke’s head. Was this what love was like? If Kurz and Melissa ever found out about this – would they tease Sousuke for not knowing what to do? For fumbling with his words? For being too sick to even kiss her? For the first time – he really wanted to. He wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass, fever or not! He turned his head and placed a small kiss on the top of her head. She responded by hugging him more tightly in return. He lay awake for quite a while just enjoying the wonder of being near Kaname, watching her breathe and her hair softly move with each breath. He had a hard time believing she was really here with him. Finally sleep over took him and this time his dreams were peaceful – with out his glock under his pillow.
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Well – this is the moosh I had wanted to see at the end of both seasons. The shoujo side of me said it was going to blow it's brains out at the end of season 2. So I'm making up for the moosh I wanted to see. Let me know what you think.
[Fanfic] Sousuke's last stand - ch 2
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[Fanfic] Sousuke's last stand - ch 2
If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
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So far, good.
I'm glad Souske was too sick to remember his pistol under his pillow.
I'm glad Souske was too sick to remember his pistol under his pillow.
".... that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion - that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain..."
exerpt from Abe Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.
exerpt from Abe Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.