[FIC] Christmas cake (pt. 1)
Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2004 1:57 am
The bushes rustled.
Only the most capable operative would have noticed the nervous breathing coming from inside the shrub.
A number of people made their way to the door. They were inconsequential. The primary target was not in sight. None of the secondary concerns were anywhere within range.
The shadowy figure listened carefully, sniffing the air when no worrisome sounds were heard.
The chill air caused exhaled gases to be visible. Only the greatest act of will prevented the knocking of knees or explosive coughing.
It was time.
The coast was clear.
The route had been mapped out long in advance.
The shadowy form practically burst forth from the azaleas in front of Jindai High School. The expected window was indeed open. The room was unoccupied. Initial insertion took place without a hitch. The training session had been well worth the time.
A quick dash across the main hallway went unnoticed. The target was alone, back turned the door. The figure reached inside of a full length winter coat and took out a closely guarded item. It was too easy. But, the hardest part lay ahead. Only an unfeeling cad would be able to go through with this and not feel any emotion.
Quiet.
There must be complete silence.
The target was exceedingly skilled, and could not be allowed any chance of escape. And, there could be no witnesses.
One step.
Sweat began to form in small beads.
Another step, with the item held in a raised arm.
The beads of sweat coalesced, forming larger drops.
Breath was held.
Courage was wavering.
Resolve was tested like never before.
A third step.
Sweat fell to the floor, breaking into infinitesimal fragments.
Almost there!
It would soon be over. A foot raised off the floor, preparing for the next step.
The vagaries of fate took over.
"Ah! There you are, Kaname!" Kyouko’s cheerful voice froze Kaname dead in her tracks, a few feet away from Sousuke, a fancy engraved card in her hand.
Kaname jumped, as if she had stepped barefoot on a live wire.
"O, Kyouko. So nice to...uh...see you here, now..."
Sousuke turned around.
"Your approach was somewhat noisy, but remarkably quiet for an untrained girl with large feet. Were you testing me?"
"Ummm...errrr....testing...YES!!! That’s exactly what I was doing. AH HA HAH HAH HAH HA HAHHH...." Kaname quickly tucked the card back inside her coat. She turned to scowl at her friend, mentally daring her to take out her camera.
"Are you feeling good, Kaname? You look upset... or nervous?" Kyouko smiled when she saw Kaname’s hands clench. "Was it something to do with Sousuke?"
"I just said that. Didn’t I?" Kaname came close to growling. She felt like a wolf at that moment, and Kyouko looked an awful lot like a lamb chop.
"Hey guys, what’s up? Why does Kaname look so upset?" Ryo walked over next to Kyouko. "Did Sousuke do something again?"
"I... am... NOT... upset!" Kaname looked as if she was ready to go ballistic. Ryo joined the food chain.
"What’s all the commotion about?" Maya strode into the room, holding a large box. It was filled with kurisumasu kehki, strawberry festooned Christmas cakes. "Is Kaname obsessing with Sousuke’s otaku habits again?"
Ryo looked at Kyouko and smiled. Sousuke put down the cleaning manual for the Squad Automatic Weapon, his one eyebrow raised in curiosity.
"Me? Obsessed with Sousuke? You have GOT to be kidding. AH HA HAH HAH HA HAH!" Kaname picked up a Christmas cake, trying hard to keep her hand from shaking. "Are these from a bakery, or did you buy them from the ladies on the sidewalk down town?"
"Wow! Maya’s got the cakes. Hey, everybody, in here. The more the merrier!" Shinji walked in, a scarf around his neck and a large grin on his face. Mizuki came in shortly thereafter.
"So, what was everybody talking about?" Mizuki asked, looking at Kaname’s feigned look of angelic calm. "Does it start with an ‘S’?"
"Kaname was doing something with Sousuke...." Kyouko answered, camera ready. "I think it was supposed to be a secret."
"Kaname?" Sousuke asked. If there were any secrets involving Chidori, he should make certain there was no reason for concern.
"Please. Why would I be doing anything with Sousuke that was secret? By definition, nothing the Misguided Military Mutant does is secret for long. Remember the upgrade to the sprinkler system that had the gym under water? Or, the X-ray machine he installed at the school entrance, and how the music club used it to take see-through pictures of all the girls?"
"Yes," Sousuke answered. "They said they wanted to see what had mrrrfffbbbfflll mrpphhhlll mrphhh"
Kaname knew exactly what the club members had said. ‘We just wanted to know what crawled up Kaname’s ass and died.’ She had been mortified. The jokes had been continuous for a week. Sousuke had needed sutures after he asked why she hadn’t told him about the animal infestation.
"Of course. You’re absolutely right." Maya winked at Ryo. Kaname caught the exchange, ready to strangle someone.
"Actually, the was no animal...." Sousuke ended up flying over a series of desks. Kaname picked up a cake and shooved it in his mouth. She quickly tried to hide the halisen behind her back.
"Uh oh. Is this a bad time?" Ren walked into the room with a large paper bag. "I brought some small gifts for everyone. But, if this is a Kaname and Sousuke moment, I can wait."
"When is it a good time?" Shinji asked. Everyone except Kaname and Sousuke laughed.
"So, Kaname...." Kyouko lad a devilish look on her face. "Have you made any plans for Christmas Eve?"
All of the other girls looked intently at Kaname, holding their breaths. Christmas Eve was a time boys often took their girlfriends out for a romantic dinner or a night at a hotel.
"Something..... romantic....?" Mizuki’s grin was inflammatory.
Kaname looked as if she had turned to stone. But, she was made of strong stuff. Nothing would knock her down for long.
"Romantic? Me? AH HAH HAH HA HAH!"
"Yes, Kaname is correct. Why would the night before a commercial holiday be of any significance? There would be absolutely no reason to risk going out on such an occasion." Sousuke did not like the idea of crowds or overly festive occasions. Not where Kaname’s safety was concerned.
Sousuke’s words seemed to have an effect on Kaname. Her mouth went flat. Her shoulders quivered momentarily. Her eyes went blank.
"I should hurry. I believe there are duties I must perform as class representative." Kaname walked forcefully from the room, chin held high and arms swinging wildly.
Something dropped out of her coat and slid across the floor. It was a card. The card had Sousuke’s name on it. It was closed by a stamped bit of wax on a fanciful ribbon. There was a slight hint of perfume about it.
Sousuke picked up the card and placed it in his satchel.
Could this be the reason Kaname was acting somewhat strangely?
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Damn that Sousuke!
Damn Kyouko.
Damn them all.
Damn the stupid holiday season.
Why did they even have to have Christmas in Japan anyway? Most Japanese profess no personal religion, culture binding them to Shinto and Buddhism. Many traditions and customs prevent them from understanding the message of salvation, or from grasping the concept of a supreme God. Less than one percent of the population was Christian, and there were numerous people who wondered if Christmas represented Santa Claus’ birthday.
At least in America, people knew there was some connection with the birth of Jesus, despite the mercantile approach many people took. In Japan, it wasn’t even an official holiday. There were artificial trees about, but many of them were for Japanese New Year. English language Christmas carols played on speakers outside of stores, beckoning people to buy gifts. She had even heard a trance version of Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer the other day!
The Mitsukoshi store decorated a huge Ginza Christmas tree. Most other gaudy decorations were put up by other commercial agencies. Large groups of brass bands would play outside of the Sony building. Advertising everywhere was in green and red. Why? Because everyone was so intent on taking hold of Western traditions? Maybe they should worry about their own holidays. There was already a reason to buy Oseibo gifts to celebrate the end of the year... did people really need to buy Christmas gifts as well?
Kaname fought back tears. She wasn’t certain why she was on the verge of crying. Yes she was.
“Be honest, girl....“
She knew exactly why. Finally, after wrestling terribly with herself, she had
found the courage to do something that she had long denied even wanting. Her emotions had been stoked to a feverish level, and the possibility of things going wrong had her on the verge of a complete meltdown.
She had been so close. Then, the rug was pulled out from under her feet.Maybe she should be thankful, given Sousuke’s commentary at the end. The collapse of that rushed opportunity may have saved her from a more catastrophic result. It might be safer just to forget about things. There might still be time for a refund.
Yes, there would be any number of excuses that made sense.
There were always excuses...distractions... last minute losses of confidence.
Why should this time be any different? It’s not as if she ever had success with any romantic situations in the past, regardless of who was involved. Romance wouldn’t make her study more. Romance wouldn’t boost the scores on her exams. If anything, it would probably make things worse. After all, there was a good reason why the nation outlawed dating in Junior High. It wasn’t a coincidence that a majority of students didn’t think about dating until they got into college.
No. This time would have been different, regardless of what the answer might have been. She had never felt this way before. She had never allowed herself to open up this much. She had never found her pulse racing... or her breath quickening... or her daydreams getting so wild... not before a certain young soldier turned her world upside down and inside out.
“Not before Sousuke....“
She had to be honest with herself. It wasn’t Christmas she was angry about. She wasn’t even certain her predominant emotion was anger. Christmas Eve was the issue. Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony---called he Daiku here---would be playing everywhere. People would be eating Christmas cake. Young lovers would be going out to spend romantic times together at fancy restaurants.... or hotels.
Christmas cakes. Most end up being eaten on Christmas Day. Any cakesunsold come December 26th were considered worthless. That had led to the use of the phrase “Christmas cake” when referring to a woman who had not found a husband before she reached the age of twenty-six.
Kaname was still a good ways away from twenty-six. But, that wouldn’tmake her feel any better come Christmas Day, if no one wanted her. She didn’t want to be like those discarded pastries. What she wouldn’t give to have someone look at her as if she had great significance.
Kaname banged her fist against the wall in the small janitorial cubbyhole she had stepped into. She needed to get herself under control before she could step out amongst her fellow students. What had she been thinking? She hadn’t even begun dating yet! Did she really believe that something like she planned might break the ice and get things going? How could she have been so foolish? She knew who she was talking about. All too well! She could guess what his reaction might be. Why did she set herself up for such pain?
She knew why.
Floating down from great heights, arms around Sousuke as he held onto a huge balloon. He had been worried about her. When he knew that she was safe, everything had been alright.
But, she had been terribly hurt when he took no notice of her knew white bikini. She had looked good in that!
Riding on the back of a bicycle, coming back from an abandoned hospital. She had failed to frighten Sousuke with horror stories and the spooky environment, but he had been scared when he thought she might be dead or severely injured. She had even gotten a brief confession out of him.
He wouldn’t say it again, though. That disappointed her. Moron!
Watching Bonta-Kun running from the police, as she rode in a Ferris wheel with and old crush. She had known who was in that costume. The shotgunhad been a dead giveaway, even if the fighting skills had not.
He had saved her once again, dressed in that ridiculous suit. Fumo fumoffu!
And, how could she forget what happened in Khanka? That maniac had kidnapped her. That quack scientist had put her in that damn machine. Sousuke revealed his true identity, saving her from everything, even though he was badly wounded.
For a moment there, before Kurz interrupted, things had been so.... so....
close.
But he was so clueless. Why did she forget that time and time again? He never understood what she was feeling. His embarrassing display with the dating simulator was nothing compared to real life! That whole business with Mizuki had been frustrating to watch. And that uninvited kiss!!!
“Damn you, Sousuke....”
Maybe she WAS setting her hopes too high. He was nothing but a thick- skulled muddle-headed otaku idiot! He forgot appointments for study. He showed up in the middle of a softball game, materializing out of nowhere, as if it were no big deal. He gave her jewelry because of practicality, duty, and obligation. He promised a vacation to an island, but instead took her to meat that Captain! He paid altogether too much attention to HER when she came to visit the school for a brief while. On the submarine, he had told her how bad his world had become when he was assigned to Tokyo... and to her. He forgot her homework. He was so out-to-lunch that he thought that flirting and picking up girls meant capturing them in cages!!!
But, he did invite her to join him at his special fishing spot. He did say that
he felt as if he could do anything if she was with him. In the light of the
setting sun, by a fountain at a lake, he had looked at her in her mother’s
purple kimono and said that she was beautiful.
“Sousuke Sagara, you are so confusing....”
Her life had never been the same since that scar-faced student showed up with a gun in his school bag. How many times had he driven her close to murder with his nonsense and his antics? How often did she come to being shot, exploded, or otherwise bent, spindled, or mutilated? That big jerk had even brought an unknown biological agent into the classroom, risking who knows what!!! The students and teachers had been thrown into tizzy. So many people were frightened, thinking they were going to die. So many were embarrassed, caught naked in front of their peers and total strangers. Mithril had to pull a lot of strings and call in a lot of favors to save his enrollment at the school.
Still, he was the only boy who ever made her feel warm inside when she smiled. He was the only one who really valued her safety, and not just because it was his job. He risked drastic reprimand on occasion, just to be certain she was OK. For someone who stuck to the exact letter or rules and regulations most of the time, he would bend those rules for her. She KNEW there was something inside of that rigid military shell. In his own way, he cared for her in a way that he had never cared for anyone else before. She could just sense it. Even Melissa Mao had inferred as much once.
What was it that she really wanted? How much did she hope for? Was she willing to go too far to find out what there might be between them? Was that even wise, given the sobering fact that he could be pulled away from Tokyo at any moment, his life put squarely on the line during some world crisis? He might even be reassigned permanently! Did it make any sense to set herself up for THAT fall?
“Why is this so hard....”
She remembered what Sousuke had said and done during the Full Monty Bacteria crisis, before they had all known that the mysterious agent was not a fatal virus. It made her blush, and caused her to question her own heart. What might have happened if he didn’t get that reassuring phone call? His voice floated in his mind. Her pulse rate went up and her breathing quickened.
He had lead her to the Nurse’s office, after saying ‘Please come with me.’
She had hesitated, and he had been forceful, saying ‘I said there is no time. Just come with me.’
He had pulled the curtain away from an infirmary bed. She had stared at that bed, wondering just what he might have in mind.
‘Chidori, take off your clothes.’ Those words first ran like ice water through
her. But, she felt part of her warming up.
‘Just because we are going to die...it’s too sudden.’ She had fought the idea. There were endless excuses. ‘I have to prepare mentally.’ ‘Besides, in a place like this....’
‘He had been insistent. ‘It’s OK. So, don’t say any words and just take off your clothes.’
She had done just that.
Naked, she had sat behind that curtain, torn by mixed desires and conflicting emotions.
What might have happened if things had gone further? Because of the false pretenses---whether or not they were intentional---she might have been mortified, She could very well ended up hating him forever.
Now, she had the luxury to think about such things. How far did she want to go? What might it mean? How does Sousuke feel? Might a more intimate relationship help him find a better place in the world? Or, would it weaken him, making him less effective at his job, putting him at greater risk?
“Courage, Kaname....”
She had made up her mind to give Sousuke the card. She had no control over what happened directly after that. If he accepted her offer, anything else that followed would be something they could explore together.
Yes, she would give him the card. She reached inside her coat to look at it one more time.
It was gone.
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Sousuke didn’t notice any discomfort as he huddled behind a transformer shed at the rear of Jindai High School. The parka, boots, and tinted goggles that had served him well under Arctic conditions were overkill in the tamer city environs. As the wind caused the tall and naked trees to sway and bend, he thought back to times when he and the SRT had made their way across desolate terrain, their mission in the balance. He did not consider it strange that such things made up the majority of his teenage memories
The situation was nowhere near that drastic, but he needed Sgt. Major Mao’s assistance just the same. He was far over his head. There was no telling what he would face, and how costly any wrong move might prove. A good soldier doesn’t rush into battle unprepared, or retreat before the battle is lost. Melissa would know what to do.
It was difficult turning the knobs on the radio in his survival mittens, so it took a while to dial in the correct frequency. Moments of static interrupted the signal, but he finally reached the com operator aboard the TDD-1. The deck officer was paging the Sgt. Major.
Sousuke was troubled. Deeply so. He’d rather be closed inside an M9 or Arbalest, hacking his way through the exuberant underbrush of some Central American hotspot, heavily armed junta members hot on his heals. He’d prefer to be fighting his way across a burning desert, huge waves of sand blinding his sensors and clogging up the joints on his Arm Slave, calling his ability to make it back to base into question. He knew what to do in those situations.
He hadn’t taken great notice of Kaname’s behavior at the beginning of school that morning. She had been somewhat nervous, and flashed a bit of anger, but neither of those characteristics had been out of the ordinary. The tone in her voice when she left the room had spoken of disappointment, but he was no stranger to that emotion in her.
Then he had spotted the card. Sitting in the middle of the class room floor. It had his name on it. His immediate thought was to detonate it in a safe location, fearing some type of trap. But, after more than a dozen similar episodes in the past, he was beginning to show more restraint. No doubt such lax behavior was an open invitation to tragedy, but he needed to make some concessions to his role as a high school student.
The logical conclusion was that Kaname had dropped it accidentally, as it was located where she had been standing. Naturally, the proper move might then be to return it to her---there might have been some significance to her in being able to present it personally. But, taking note of her actions in a different light, he wondered if she was somehow uncomfortable doing just that. And, as clueless as he was, he still had an idea what might happen if he handed the card to Kaname, and it had actually come from another young lady.
In class after class, he observed Kanmae’s reactions. She was on edge. At times, she even looked frantic. Was his failure to make any commentary about the card a problem? But, she also spent time between classes looking under furniture, behind counters, and in assorted nooks and crannies about the building and the school grounds. Did she suspect some kind of clandestine activities?
It was not an idle thought. He should consider all possibilities. Her safety was his primary concern. Had she caught wind of some plot that she didn’t tell him about? Might she doubt his ability to handle matters without causing some form of catastrophic outcome? Could the card actually be some form of farewell address, informing him that she no longer wanted his assistance or needed his protection? That thought had brought him up short---like a small dog with a big attitude, it fastened itself to him and wouldn’t let go until he acted.
He opened the card.
It WAS from Kaname.
At first, he didn’t know what to make of the writing inside:
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‘Sousuke---
I would be honored if you could accompany me to dinner on the night of December 24th. If I may be so bold, I have made reservations at Fujimama’s and for the Belles Des Belles hotel.
Yours expectantly,
Kaname’
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He had been sorely puzzled. It was kind of Kaname to offer to buy him dinner, even though he was quite content with the occasional meals that she cooked for him. But what would they need a hotel reservation from? No matter what hour they finished dining, a taxi could take them home in decent time. The unnecessary expenditure of money had him conjuring all sorts of shady scenarios. What was Kaname involved in? Might she need his help in getting out of some sordid or tricky situation?
Then for some reason, he remembered Kyouko’s question: “So, Kaname....have you made any plans for Christmas Eve?”
Mizuke had added an inquiry of her own before Kaname could reply: “Something..... romantic....?”
“Romantic? Me? AH HAH HAH HA HAH!” Kaname’s response had been rushed and somewhat excessive. He had told her on numerous occasions that loud laughter was an environmental hazard. She had had struck him repeatedly the time he borrowed a decibel meter to prove his point.
Christmas Eve....
Something romantic....
December 24th WAS Christmas Eve...
Sousuke had been stunned. He somehow felt personally at risk, dangerously so. The last time he had felt anything like this had been the time he stopped his foot just inches above a well-concealed anti-personnel mine.
Kaname? Him? Something romantic?
Romantic?
How? Why? For what purpose? She had not made any obvious overtures regarding dating in the past. In fact, half of the time he couldn’t be certain whether or not she hated him!
There a big difference between hating and dating.
Or, so he surmised.
Dating?
The very thought made him stiffen.
He must be jumping to conclusions.
That is a dangerous habit in a soldier.
But, he also knew how dangerous ignorance could be to an operative.
Yes, it might be possible that she wanted to arrange a tryst with someone else, an adult perhaps, and needed him present to provide a cover story. Maybe it was a married man or a famous politician. Could it be someone from another school, a boy she was willing to share Jindai secrets with? Not a teacher!
None of that made any sense. Kaname was not like that. Realizing that such possibilities didn’t likely exist, he began to sweat heavily. His heart raced at great speed, even though he had not exerted himself. He felt dizzy, and his breathing was labored. He could not afford to fall ill, not before he solved this mystery.
Flashes from his past ran before his eyes fleetingly, raising his stress level even higher. Scenes from a movie Kurz had forced him to watch once, a romantic film with very little clothing. A vision of Kaname standing in her mother’s kimono. Quick glimpses of her body behind the screen in the Nurse’s office.
“NO! Those thoughts serve no purpose. Such feelings get soldiers in trouble- --they do not aid them in any way....”
For some reason, he involuntarily recalled how it felt to have Kaname in his arms during various rescue situations. The scent of her perfume filled his mind, causing him to look to see if she was actually there. The look in her eyes, it had confused him more than once---an openness and a sharing, followed by disappointment for some reason. He recalled the sound of her voice during quiet moments alone---certain notes and inflections caused his throat to tighten. There was a discomfort in parts of his body he did not wish to acknowledge.
“This does not make any sense. A piece of paper should not distract a Specialist in this manner. I may need a medical examination....”
He remembered watching another movie, an instructional video from an Australian sheep breeding program that Kurz gift-wrapped for his birthday one year. Befuddled, he had watched the documentary, trying to determine what secret military value it might hold. His long-haired squad mate told everyone at the dinner table that night that Sousuke had been watching a How-To movie.
Melissa had to explain the joke to him---after she had Kurz wash every inch of each Arm Slave in the holding bay.
A brief image of Kaname dressed only in a skimpy wool coat passed before his eyes. Where had THAT come from??? Had the solution on the card been a hallucinogen? Was it the center of some plot after all?
Sousuke took his own pulse. He checked his capillary refill time. There were no irregularities in his heartbeat. A brief neurological exam failed to show any glaring deficits or hyper-reactivity. He was well oriented to person, place, and time. There were no obvious visual field defects or disturbances of cerebellar function.
He needed to talk with someone. His reactions might indicate a tendency that could spell disaster in future missions. If he were subject to some inappropriate psychological or physical condition, it would be best to have it looked into as soon as possible..
And if the card did indeed have something to do with dating....
Or boy and girl things....
He would DEFINITELY need to speak to somebody!
His arms seemed to be experiencing a slight tremor. Strange. He would need to sneak into the infirmary and borrow a thermometer. He might also see if they had any sterile saline solution. He might be well-served by starting an IV. His mouth was incredibly dry.
Who should he contact? It had not taken him long to run down the list of possibilities.
It couldn’t be anyone at the school. Even he understood the propensity for gossip, and the devastating effects it could have.
Not Kurz! Not unless he wanted the issue discussed throughout Da Danaan, the Mithril base, and bars throughout Southeast Asia.
Tessa? No!!! That would be the last person on earth he would bring up such a subject with. The Captain’s behavior around him was another point of confusion.
Kurz had suggested he watch the sheep movie with Tessa. He hadn’t. Just the same, a vision of her in a lamb costume began to materialize. He struck himself hard on the side of the head, chasing it away just in time.
Tessa? The last person? Negative! Sousuke swallowed as best he could. THAT would be Cmdr. Mardukas. He had to make certain that the Cmdr. never had reason to suspect some incapacity or disability. Never. Not ever.
Perhaps Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin. His judgment proved repeatedly sound. Though he was certainly not a father figure or friend, the Lt. Cmdr. Often looked out for Sousuke’s best interest. No, it would be best not to raise any question of doubt there as well.
The answer was obvious. He should have settled on it straight out. Sgt. Major Mao. She was not someone inclined to go running to their commanding officers. It was in her best interest to have all of her squad members in peak physical and mental condition. In addition, she was a woman. There was a saying ‘send a thief to catch a thief.’ Perhaps a woman was the best person to ask about Kaname’s possible intentions and expectations---unless there were certain secrets that females were beholden to keep privy.
What other options did he have?
He would stay outside waiting for Melissa to get on the line, or until the start of the next period. Fortunately, no one else was outside braving the icy winds.
“Urzu-7, this is Urzu-2, do you read me? Over.”
Sousuke felt relieved. In fact, he hadn’t felt that much relief since the time a Mithril copter had appeared overhead, snatching him out of a dangerous firefight in a drug runner’s compound, seconds before the charges he had planted blew the group of buildings sky high.
“Urzu-2, this is Urzu-7. I read you.”
“Sousuke! What is your situation. The radio officer said your message was urgent. Is the school under attack? Has Kaname been kidnapped or injured? I can have the rest of the SRT mobilized within fifteen minutes. Launch windows may be somewhat tricky, but the sub should be able to surface in twice that time.”
“Uh....”
“Sousuke, are you injured? What is going on? Urzu-7..... answer. If you are in too much danger to answer, I will start emergency proceedings immediately.” Melissa went on to tell an unidentified officer to locate the other SRT members aboard Da Danaan.
“Uh...”
“Dammit!!!! There must be something wrong. Hold on Sousuke. We’ll get help there as soon as....” The Sgt. Major was clearly concerned. Sousuke interrupted her.
“No.”
“What? Repeat, Urzu-7. Come on Sousuke!” Her voice was insistent.
“The situation is urgent, but it...uh...is not an... uh... emergency.”
“How? You pulled me away from a planning session, mister. This had better be important. Sousuke, you don’t want to move ahead of Kurz on my shit list!!!” Melissa sounded like she was quickly growing angry.
“Ummm....”
“SAGARA!!! Get to it. That’s an order.”
“Sir, yes sir!!!” Sousuke actually stood and snapped to attention. “This morning, Miss Chidori was acting strangely. Her behavior has grown more suspicious with every passing moment. Then I discovered the item....”
“What, Sousuke? A bomb? Listening device? Some evidence that she might have been blackmailed or drugged? Just what kind of threat do you suspect?”
“I am uncertain. That is why I have contacted you. She dropped a card. It had my name on it. I read it. I do not understand the situation and do not wish to compromise my mission. I needed the advice of my superior.”
There was no reply.
One minute passed. Then two. The line was still open, and Sousuke could hear faint sonar pings in the background.
“Sgt. Major?”
Still no answer.
“Sgt. Major Mao, are you still there?”
“A card, Sousuke?” Melissa’s voice was totally flat. Sousuke had never heard her quite that deadpan before.
“Affirmative! With a wax seal, a ribbon, and an inorganic substance most likely representing perfume.”
There was no reply, again. Sousuke could barely make out the sound of something being crumpled.
There was a male voice in the background: “But that can was full, Sgt. Major Mao.”
Melissa’s reply was terse and razor-edged: “I know that!”
The silence returned. All Sousuke heard was breathing, the kind that all operatives were taught to use in stress reduction.
“OK, Sousuke. Let’s forget that you called me on a secure line to inform me that you got a card. A card. What exactly is the problem?” Melissa sounded much calmer, almost personable.
“Kaname invited me to dinner on December 24th. To a fancy restaurant. She also mentioned reservations at a hotel called Belles Des Belles.”
Sousuke heard a quick in rush of breath. Then chuckling. Followed by out and out laughter. “Wooo Hooo! What Weber wouldn’t give to hear this one!!!” The Sgt. Major had done a complete turn around. She now sounded cheerful--- too much so.
“Sgt. Major?”
“I can see why you called now, Sousuke. I’ve been to Belles Des Belles before, and any number of places like it. Has anyone explained to you what type of hotel it is?” Melissa’s voice sounded rich with anticipation.
“Negative! Is it a meeting place for terrorists or operatives? Could this be some kind of a trap?” Sousuke began to be concerned.
“Yes. It could indeed be some kind of trap....” Her voice was practically ecstatic. That was an inappropriate response for a potentially dangerous situation.
“But not the type that you would know anything about, Sousuke.
“But Kaname....”
“The Belles Des Belles is a Love Hotel, Sousuke.” Melissa paused, wishing she had a video feed of her subordinate. “It is a meeting place for couples and lovers. A place to go to spend some time together, away from the cramped rooms and thin walls of their apartments and work place.”
“Uh....”
“They have a bed, and all sorts of amenities. There may even be some kind of theme in the décor and the furniture. The better places are in high demand. Reservations need to be made weeks in advance, especially for Christmas Eve.”
“Uh...”
“You do realize that Christmas Eve is a night for couples to indulge their affection and express their amorous.....or lustful..... feelings?”
“Uh...”
“It would seem that a certain blue-haired girl has invited you to spend some time alone with her at a romantic hideaway.” Inexplicably, Melissa muted the channel momentarily, right after she began chortling uncontrollably.
Sousuke dropped his handset, then needed to remove his mitten to pick it up again.
“Urzu-7, are you still there?”
“Affirmative.” Sousuke’s voice was higher in pitch than before.
“At ease, Sousuke. At ease. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed at you.” The sound of Melissa’s voice clearly said she was fighting not to laugh again.
“You’re absolutely priceless, do you know that? But, I wouldn’t have you any other way.”
“Sgt. Major?”
“A mean man in a fight, before you even needed to shave. A maestro in an Arm Slave. One of the best operatives that Mithril has. A fine comrade. And more clueless than a boy in middle school!” There was humor and affection in Melissa’s voice.
“I see.” Sousuke sounded somewhat dejected. It was not the first time that someone had clued him in on just how clueless he was. It was painfully obvious to him, even without anyone’s observations.
“You should keep one thing in mind though, Sousuke. If anyone knows that, it’s Kaname. She still sent you the card. You two have been through a lot, you know. Even if you haven’t stumbled across the fact yourself, you have changed in a lot of ways since you’ve spent time with her.”
It was Sousuke’s time to be silent.
Melissa’s words had definitely done something. He no longer felt like a spring that had been wound too tightly. But, the whole concept of someone taking an interest in him was too new, too foreign. Romantic entanglements had never been allowed aboard the TDD-1 or at the Mithril camps and bases, even had he been old enough to attract such attention. No, for the past few years, when he was not on board a submersible or stationed in some camp, he was at various points throughout the globe, involved in a mission. Much of his free time had been spent hiking, fishing, reading, or working out.... alone.
“I was not trained in dating. The stories that Sgt. Weber and others tell never made much sense to me. Such things did not happen amongst the youth of Afghanistan. Most marriages were arranged by parents. Curfew for girls was 7:00 pm. On the streets, I was not someone who was acceptable, even had I been old enough to be considered.”
Truth be told, he had no interest in girls whatsoever in his earliest days alone. Few boys his age did. Besides, survival was his top priority. There had been no opportunity for companionship of any kind. That came later. He learned that there are things you might see....and might even come to want.... that you should never hope for... and would never have chance to touch.
“In mujahadeen service, the women of ease all laughed at my age, and no man would introduce his daughters. I was a warrior, nothing more. What urges or feelings awakened in me then were by necessity ignored or put down.”
“I’m sorry, Sousuke.” Melissa’s voice was deep and troubled. “I shouldn’t have made light of things. It’s easy to forget what you’ve been through.” She though a moment more. “Do you think poorly of yourself because of all that?” Her voice was almost too quiet to hear.
“I..... I..... do not know. I am a soldier. As long as it does not affect my performance in battle, I suppose it is not a problem.” Sousuke’s voice was emotionless, robotic.
His answer had not been completely honest.
The fact had not escaped Sgt. Major Mao.
“I think you’re wrong, Sousuke. You are a soldier, but that is not all that you are. It’s what you DO. Men or women who repress their feelings and emotions can often make superb fighters.... for a while. Sooner or later, they often run into trouble. I know that all too well. It’s why I had to make a change. It’s how I ended up in Mithril. I was almost too late.” There was an unmistakable sadness in her voice.
“I do not know. I have no way to know. When I am told to fight, I fight. When I need to kill, I kill. In between, I simply live. I do not know what I want. I don’t know what to do. Can you tell me what I should do?” Sousuke’s voice bubbled up from deep within his soul, the pleas of a young boy looking for someone to play a role his parents would have, if they had been allowed to go on living.
Melissa wished she could give Sousuke the peace he sought and the knowledge he needed. But, those were things he had to find for himself. All she could do was offer advice.
“There are no easy answers, Sousuke. But, this is also not a life or death situation. Your value as a person is not at risk. Your effectiveness as a professional may well suffer more if you remain confused. All that you really have to worry about are you heart and your pride. All that I can do is make a suggestion.”
“Sergeant Major?”
“I know it’s Tessa’s spiel, but when we talk like this, you can call me Melissa. It’s OK. I won’t report it, and I promise not to kick upside the head or punch you below the belt. I’ll take it out on Kurz instead. How‘s that?”
“Acceptable. Melissa. What is your advice?”
“Ask yourself some questions. Be honest with your answers. Don’t be afraid of any truth you may realize. Make sure you follow the same path you do in battle---be willing to take chances, if the goal is worth attaining. Decide for yourself what you want, paying no attention to your official mission objectives. Pay attention to Kaname---she will let you know if you are doing well or not. Trust me..... she will.”
Melissa laughed. “Listen to me. I sound like a mother hen or a toothless grandma. Shit!”
“What kind of questions should I ask?”
“You have risked your life many times for Miss Chidori, haven’t you? Ask yourself if you would do the same thing if she was no longer your professional responsibility, and under what circumstances. Take it a step further, and ask yourself if you would do the same if you were ordered not to, your career in jeopardy were you to disobey your commands.”
“I see.” Sousuke already knew the answer. He had never looked at things that way before.
“You spend a lot of time around her, too. Would you want to do that if you were discharged from Mithril, and where given the chance for a relatively normal life. How would you feel instead, if Tessa told you tomorrow you had to leave, never to return?”
“Ah.”
“And, for a little while, remove all thoughts of missions, duty, obligation, and threats from your mind. Think nothing about vigilance, responsibilities, professional conduct, and the like. Then, ask yourself how you feel when she’s near. When she smiles. When she speaks kindly to you. When parts of her body catch your attention....”
“But...”
“Sousuke, is there something you want to deny?!!” Melissa’s voice snapped like a whip. It was her Drill Sergeant persona again.
“Uh...”
“SAGARA!!!”
“Negative, Sergeant Major. No.”
“Good. There’s hope for you yet. Tell Kaname I said that, too. Where was I? Ask yourself how you feel when she shows interest in another guy. When you think she might hate you. When your mistakes make her cry or run away. When her eyes look tender. When she teases you. Everything.”
“I see.”
“Simple, right?” Melissa laughed, then sobered quickly.
“It might not come naturally, Sousuke. But, I will guarantee it will prove useful. One way or another. It doesn’t matter if you find you would be ideally suited as a gigolo, or belong tucked behind the walls of some musty old monastery. All you need to do is find what sounds true to your own heart. There are no right or wrong answers. And, there is only one way to find out whether or not Kaname might be the girl for you.”
“Why....”
“Trust me in this, Sousuke. It’s something you need to find out, one way or another. There is one thing worse than taking a chance and making a mistake.... it’s letting something good slip by without even trying.”
It took a while before Sousuke was ready to answer. For a few long moments, the time between each beat of his heart felt like an eternity.
“I will do as you recommend, Melissa.”
“Good. I....” Melissa stopped in mid-sentence. Sousuke could hear a short conversation with someone else.
“I’ve been informed that I must immediately return to the meeting. Accordingly, if you call me ‘Melissa’ again before I end transmission, I will present your balls to you on a string. You can offer them to Kaname as a corsage, if you like. Do I make myself clear?!!” There was still a hint of levity in her growl.
“Affirmative.”
“Carry on, Urzu-7. God speed. Wait. Before I leave, do you want me to have Kurz call you with some advice?”
“N-O-O-O!!!”
“Urzu-2, signing off.” Sousuke heard laughter before the transmission terminated.
He looked at the school building as if it were the lair of some great beast. He took out the card and held it in his hand. Was it his sword? The Holy Grail? Or an invitation to join the creature for dinner, knowing full well who was on the menu? Might there be a fair maiden waiting inside, hoping for his arrival? Could he be a knight in shining armor? Especially given the reputation of many knights when the ladies helped them out of their armor....
His cheeks burned warm, despite the frigid air.
He shook his head.
There were questions to ask and answers to find. He would need to approach Kaname with a reply. That is, if he could get his feet moving again.
He practiced saying ‘Yes,’ just in case that was the answer he settled on. It would probably be better if his response were audible. Maybe he should bring pencil and paper just in case.
Did Kaname know sign language?
Only the most capable operative would have noticed the nervous breathing coming from inside the shrub.
A number of people made their way to the door. They were inconsequential. The primary target was not in sight. None of the secondary concerns were anywhere within range.
The shadowy figure listened carefully, sniffing the air when no worrisome sounds were heard.
The chill air caused exhaled gases to be visible. Only the greatest act of will prevented the knocking of knees or explosive coughing.
It was time.
The coast was clear.
The route had been mapped out long in advance.
The shadowy form practically burst forth from the azaleas in front of Jindai High School. The expected window was indeed open. The room was unoccupied. Initial insertion took place without a hitch. The training session had been well worth the time.
A quick dash across the main hallway went unnoticed. The target was alone, back turned the door. The figure reached inside of a full length winter coat and took out a closely guarded item. It was too easy. But, the hardest part lay ahead. Only an unfeeling cad would be able to go through with this and not feel any emotion.
Quiet.
There must be complete silence.
The target was exceedingly skilled, and could not be allowed any chance of escape. And, there could be no witnesses.
One step.
Sweat began to form in small beads.
Another step, with the item held in a raised arm.
The beads of sweat coalesced, forming larger drops.
Breath was held.
Courage was wavering.
Resolve was tested like never before.
A third step.
Sweat fell to the floor, breaking into infinitesimal fragments.
Almost there!
It would soon be over. A foot raised off the floor, preparing for the next step.
The vagaries of fate took over.
"Ah! There you are, Kaname!" Kyouko’s cheerful voice froze Kaname dead in her tracks, a few feet away from Sousuke, a fancy engraved card in her hand.
Kaname jumped, as if she had stepped barefoot on a live wire.
"O, Kyouko. So nice to...uh...see you here, now..."
Sousuke turned around.
"Your approach was somewhat noisy, but remarkably quiet for an untrained girl with large feet. Were you testing me?"
"Ummm...errrr....testing...YES!!! That’s exactly what I was doing. AH HA HAH HAH HAH HA HAHHH...." Kaname quickly tucked the card back inside her coat. She turned to scowl at her friend, mentally daring her to take out her camera.
"Are you feeling good, Kaname? You look upset... or nervous?" Kyouko smiled when she saw Kaname’s hands clench. "Was it something to do with Sousuke?"
"I just said that. Didn’t I?" Kaname came close to growling. She felt like a wolf at that moment, and Kyouko looked an awful lot like a lamb chop.
"Hey guys, what’s up? Why does Kaname look so upset?" Ryo walked over next to Kyouko. "Did Sousuke do something again?"
"I... am... NOT... upset!" Kaname looked as if she was ready to go ballistic. Ryo joined the food chain.
"What’s all the commotion about?" Maya strode into the room, holding a large box. It was filled with kurisumasu kehki, strawberry festooned Christmas cakes. "Is Kaname obsessing with Sousuke’s otaku habits again?"
Ryo looked at Kyouko and smiled. Sousuke put down the cleaning manual for the Squad Automatic Weapon, his one eyebrow raised in curiosity.
"Me? Obsessed with Sousuke? You have GOT to be kidding. AH HA HAH HAH HA HAH!" Kaname picked up a Christmas cake, trying hard to keep her hand from shaking. "Are these from a bakery, or did you buy them from the ladies on the sidewalk down town?"
"Wow! Maya’s got the cakes. Hey, everybody, in here. The more the merrier!" Shinji walked in, a scarf around his neck and a large grin on his face. Mizuki came in shortly thereafter.
"So, what was everybody talking about?" Mizuki asked, looking at Kaname’s feigned look of angelic calm. "Does it start with an ‘S’?"
"Kaname was doing something with Sousuke...." Kyouko answered, camera ready. "I think it was supposed to be a secret."
"Kaname?" Sousuke asked. If there were any secrets involving Chidori, he should make certain there was no reason for concern.
"Please. Why would I be doing anything with Sousuke that was secret? By definition, nothing the Misguided Military Mutant does is secret for long. Remember the upgrade to the sprinkler system that had the gym under water? Or, the X-ray machine he installed at the school entrance, and how the music club used it to take see-through pictures of all the girls?"
"Yes," Sousuke answered. "They said they wanted to see what had mrrrfffbbbfflll mrpphhhlll mrphhh"
Kaname knew exactly what the club members had said. ‘We just wanted to know what crawled up Kaname’s ass and died.’ She had been mortified. The jokes had been continuous for a week. Sousuke had needed sutures after he asked why she hadn’t told him about the animal infestation.
"Of course. You’re absolutely right." Maya winked at Ryo. Kaname caught the exchange, ready to strangle someone.
"Actually, the was no animal...." Sousuke ended up flying over a series of desks. Kaname picked up a cake and shooved it in his mouth. She quickly tried to hide the halisen behind her back.
"Uh oh. Is this a bad time?" Ren walked into the room with a large paper bag. "I brought some small gifts for everyone. But, if this is a Kaname and Sousuke moment, I can wait."
"When is it a good time?" Shinji asked. Everyone except Kaname and Sousuke laughed.
"So, Kaname...." Kyouko lad a devilish look on her face. "Have you made any plans for Christmas Eve?"
All of the other girls looked intently at Kaname, holding their breaths. Christmas Eve was a time boys often took their girlfriends out for a romantic dinner or a night at a hotel.
"Something..... romantic....?" Mizuki’s grin was inflammatory.
Kaname looked as if she had turned to stone. But, she was made of strong stuff. Nothing would knock her down for long.
"Romantic? Me? AH HAH HAH HA HAH!"
"Yes, Kaname is correct. Why would the night before a commercial holiday be of any significance? There would be absolutely no reason to risk going out on such an occasion." Sousuke did not like the idea of crowds or overly festive occasions. Not where Kaname’s safety was concerned.
Sousuke’s words seemed to have an effect on Kaname. Her mouth went flat. Her shoulders quivered momentarily. Her eyes went blank.
"I should hurry. I believe there are duties I must perform as class representative." Kaname walked forcefully from the room, chin held high and arms swinging wildly.
Something dropped out of her coat and slid across the floor. It was a card. The card had Sousuke’s name on it. It was closed by a stamped bit of wax on a fanciful ribbon. There was a slight hint of perfume about it.
Sousuke picked up the card and placed it in his satchel.
Could this be the reason Kaname was acting somewhat strangely?
******************
******************
******************
Damn that Sousuke!
Damn Kyouko.
Damn them all.
Damn the stupid holiday season.
Why did they even have to have Christmas in Japan anyway? Most Japanese profess no personal religion, culture binding them to Shinto and Buddhism. Many traditions and customs prevent them from understanding the message of salvation, or from grasping the concept of a supreme God. Less than one percent of the population was Christian, and there were numerous people who wondered if Christmas represented Santa Claus’ birthday.
At least in America, people knew there was some connection with the birth of Jesus, despite the mercantile approach many people took. In Japan, it wasn’t even an official holiday. There were artificial trees about, but many of them were for Japanese New Year. English language Christmas carols played on speakers outside of stores, beckoning people to buy gifts. She had even heard a trance version of Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer the other day!
The Mitsukoshi store decorated a huge Ginza Christmas tree. Most other gaudy decorations were put up by other commercial agencies. Large groups of brass bands would play outside of the Sony building. Advertising everywhere was in green and red. Why? Because everyone was so intent on taking hold of Western traditions? Maybe they should worry about their own holidays. There was already a reason to buy Oseibo gifts to celebrate the end of the year... did people really need to buy Christmas gifts as well?
Kaname fought back tears. She wasn’t certain why she was on the verge of crying. Yes she was.
“Be honest, girl....“
She knew exactly why. Finally, after wrestling terribly with herself, she had
found the courage to do something that she had long denied even wanting. Her emotions had been stoked to a feverish level, and the possibility of things going wrong had her on the verge of a complete meltdown.
She had been so close. Then, the rug was pulled out from under her feet.Maybe she should be thankful, given Sousuke’s commentary at the end. The collapse of that rushed opportunity may have saved her from a more catastrophic result. It might be safer just to forget about things. There might still be time for a refund.
Yes, there would be any number of excuses that made sense.
There were always excuses...distractions... last minute losses of confidence.
Why should this time be any different? It’s not as if she ever had success with any romantic situations in the past, regardless of who was involved. Romance wouldn’t make her study more. Romance wouldn’t boost the scores on her exams. If anything, it would probably make things worse. After all, there was a good reason why the nation outlawed dating in Junior High. It wasn’t a coincidence that a majority of students didn’t think about dating until they got into college.
No. This time would have been different, regardless of what the answer might have been. She had never felt this way before. She had never allowed herself to open up this much. She had never found her pulse racing... or her breath quickening... or her daydreams getting so wild... not before a certain young soldier turned her world upside down and inside out.
“Not before Sousuke....“
She had to be honest with herself. It wasn’t Christmas she was angry about. She wasn’t even certain her predominant emotion was anger. Christmas Eve was the issue. Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony---called he Daiku here---would be playing everywhere. People would be eating Christmas cake. Young lovers would be going out to spend romantic times together at fancy restaurants.... or hotels.
Christmas cakes. Most end up being eaten on Christmas Day. Any cakesunsold come December 26th were considered worthless. That had led to the use of the phrase “Christmas cake” when referring to a woman who had not found a husband before she reached the age of twenty-six.
Kaname was still a good ways away from twenty-six. But, that wouldn’tmake her feel any better come Christmas Day, if no one wanted her. She didn’t want to be like those discarded pastries. What she wouldn’t give to have someone look at her as if she had great significance.
Kaname banged her fist against the wall in the small janitorial cubbyhole she had stepped into. She needed to get herself under control before she could step out amongst her fellow students. What had she been thinking? She hadn’t even begun dating yet! Did she really believe that something like she planned might break the ice and get things going? How could she have been so foolish? She knew who she was talking about. All too well! She could guess what his reaction might be. Why did she set herself up for such pain?
She knew why.
Floating down from great heights, arms around Sousuke as he held onto a huge balloon. He had been worried about her. When he knew that she was safe, everything had been alright.
But, she had been terribly hurt when he took no notice of her knew white bikini. She had looked good in that!
Riding on the back of a bicycle, coming back from an abandoned hospital. She had failed to frighten Sousuke with horror stories and the spooky environment, but he had been scared when he thought she might be dead or severely injured. She had even gotten a brief confession out of him.
He wouldn’t say it again, though. That disappointed her. Moron!
Watching Bonta-Kun running from the police, as she rode in a Ferris wheel with and old crush. She had known who was in that costume. The shotgunhad been a dead giveaway, even if the fighting skills had not.
He had saved her once again, dressed in that ridiculous suit. Fumo fumoffu!
And, how could she forget what happened in Khanka? That maniac had kidnapped her. That quack scientist had put her in that damn machine. Sousuke revealed his true identity, saving her from everything, even though he was badly wounded.
For a moment there, before Kurz interrupted, things had been so.... so....
close.
But he was so clueless. Why did she forget that time and time again? He never understood what she was feeling. His embarrassing display with the dating simulator was nothing compared to real life! That whole business with Mizuki had been frustrating to watch. And that uninvited kiss!!!
“Damn you, Sousuke....”
Maybe she WAS setting her hopes too high. He was nothing but a thick- skulled muddle-headed otaku idiot! He forgot appointments for study. He showed up in the middle of a softball game, materializing out of nowhere, as if it were no big deal. He gave her jewelry because of practicality, duty, and obligation. He promised a vacation to an island, but instead took her to meat that Captain! He paid altogether too much attention to HER when she came to visit the school for a brief while. On the submarine, he had told her how bad his world had become when he was assigned to Tokyo... and to her. He forgot her homework. He was so out-to-lunch that he thought that flirting and picking up girls meant capturing them in cages!!!
But, he did invite her to join him at his special fishing spot. He did say that
he felt as if he could do anything if she was with him. In the light of the
setting sun, by a fountain at a lake, he had looked at her in her mother’s
purple kimono and said that she was beautiful.
“Sousuke Sagara, you are so confusing....”
Her life had never been the same since that scar-faced student showed up with a gun in his school bag. How many times had he driven her close to murder with his nonsense and his antics? How often did she come to being shot, exploded, or otherwise bent, spindled, or mutilated? That big jerk had even brought an unknown biological agent into the classroom, risking who knows what!!! The students and teachers had been thrown into tizzy. So many people were frightened, thinking they were going to die. So many were embarrassed, caught naked in front of their peers and total strangers. Mithril had to pull a lot of strings and call in a lot of favors to save his enrollment at the school.
Still, he was the only boy who ever made her feel warm inside when she smiled. He was the only one who really valued her safety, and not just because it was his job. He risked drastic reprimand on occasion, just to be certain she was OK. For someone who stuck to the exact letter or rules and regulations most of the time, he would bend those rules for her. She KNEW there was something inside of that rigid military shell. In his own way, he cared for her in a way that he had never cared for anyone else before. She could just sense it. Even Melissa Mao had inferred as much once.
What was it that she really wanted? How much did she hope for? Was she willing to go too far to find out what there might be between them? Was that even wise, given the sobering fact that he could be pulled away from Tokyo at any moment, his life put squarely on the line during some world crisis? He might even be reassigned permanently! Did it make any sense to set herself up for THAT fall?
“Why is this so hard....”
She remembered what Sousuke had said and done during the Full Monty Bacteria crisis, before they had all known that the mysterious agent was not a fatal virus. It made her blush, and caused her to question her own heart. What might have happened if he didn’t get that reassuring phone call? His voice floated in his mind. Her pulse rate went up and her breathing quickened.
He had lead her to the Nurse’s office, after saying ‘Please come with me.’
She had hesitated, and he had been forceful, saying ‘I said there is no time. Just come with me.’
He had pulled the curtain away from an infirmary bed. She had stared at that bed, wondering just what he might have in mind.
‘Chidori, take off your clothes.’ Those words first ran like ice water through
her. But, she felt part of her warming up.
‘Just because we are going to die...it’s too sudden.’ She had fought the idea. There were endless excuses. ‘I have to prepare mentally.’ ‘Besides, in a place like this....’
‘He had been insistent. ‘It’s OK. So, don’t say any words and just take off your clothes.’
She had done just that.
Naked, she had sat behind that curtain, torn by mixed desires and conflicting emotions.
What might have happened if things had gone further? Because of the false pretenses---whether or not they were intentional---she might have been mortified, She could very well ended up hating him forever.
Now, she had the luxury to think about such things. How far did she want to go? What might it mean? How does Sousuke feel? Might a more intimate relationship help him find a better place in the world? Or, would it weaken him, making him less effective at his job, putting him at greater risk?
“Courage, Kaname....”
She had made up her mind to give Sousuke the card. She had no control over what happened directly after that. If he accepted her offer, anything else that followed would be something they could explore together.
Yes, she would give him the card. She reached inside her coat to look at it one more time.
It was gone.
*******************
*******************
*******************
Sousuke didn’t notice any discomfort as he huddled behind a transformer shed at the rear of Jindai High School. The parka, boots, and tinted goggles that had served him well under Arctic conditions were overkill in the tamer city environs. As the wind caused the tall and naked trees to sway and bend, he thought back to times when he and the SRT had made their way across desolate terrain, their mission in the balance. He did not consider it strange that such things made up the majority of his teenage memories
The situation was nowhere near that drastic, but he needed Sgt. Major Mao’s assistance just the same. He was far over his head. There was no telling what he would face, and how costly any wrong move might prove. A good soldier doesn’t rush into battle unprepared, or retreat before the battle is lost. Melissa would know what to do.
It was difficult turning the knobs on the radio in his survival mittens, so it took a while to dial in the correct frequency. Moments of static interrupted the signal, but he finally reached the com operator aboard the TDD-1. The deck officer was paging the Sgt. Major.
Sousuke was troubled. Deeply so. He’d rather be closed inside an M9 or Arbalest, hacking his way through the exuberant underbrush of some Central American hotspot, heavily armed junta members hot on his heals. He’d prefer to be fighting his way across a burning desert, huge waves of sand blinding his sensors and clogging up the joints on his Arm Slave, calling his ability to make it back to base into question. He knew what to do in those situations.
He hadn’t taken great notice of Kaname’s behavior at the beginning of school that morning. She had been somewhat nervous, and flashed a bit of anger, but neither of those characteristics had been out of the ordinary. The tone in her voice when she left the room had spoken of disappointment, but he was no stranger to that emotion in her.
Then he had spotted the card. Sitting in the middle of the class room floor. It had his name on it. His immediate thought was to detonate it in a safe location, fearing some type of trap. But, after more than a dozen similar episodes in the past, he was beginning to show more restraint. No doubt such lax behavior was an open invitation to tragedy, but he needed to make some concessions to his role as a high school student.
The logical conclusion was that Kaname had dropped it accidentally, as it was located where she had been standing. Naturally, the proper move might then be to return it to her---there might have been some significance to her in being able to present it personally. But, taking note of her actions in a different light, he wondered if she was somehow uncomfortable doing just that. And, as clueless as he was, he still had an idea what might happen if he handed the card to Kaname, and it had actually come from another young lady.
In class after class, he observed Kanmae’s reactions. She was on edge. At times, she even looked frantic. Was his failure to make any commentary about the card a problem? But, she also spent time between classes looking under furniture, behind counters, and in assorted nooks and crannies about the building and the school grounds. Did she suspect some kind of clandestine activities?
It was not an idle thought. He should consider all possibilities. Her safety was his primary concern. Had she caught wind of some plot that she didn’t tell him about? Might she doubt his ability to handle matters without causing some form of catastrophic outcome? Could the card actually be some form of farewell address, informing him that she no longer wanted his assistance or needed his protection? That thought had brought him up short---like a small dog with a big attitude, it fastened itself to him and wouldn’t let go until he acted.
He opened the card.
It WAS from Kaname.
At first, he didn’t know what to make of the writing inside:
-----------------------------------------
‘Sousuke---
I would be honored if you could accompany me to dinner on the night of December 24th. If I may be so bold, I have made reservations at Fujimama’s and for the Belles Des Belles hotel.
Yours expectantly,
Kaname’
----------------------------------------
He had been sorely puzzled. It was kind of Kaname to offer to buy him dinner, even though he was quite content with the occasional meals that she cooked for him. But what would they need a hotel reservation from? No matter what hour they finished dining, a taxi could take them home in decent time. The unnecessary expenditure of money had him conjuring all sorts of shady scenarios. What was Kaname involved in? Might she need his help in getting out of some sordid or tricky situation?
Then for some reason, he remembered Kyouko’s question: “So, Kaname....have you made any plans for Christmas Eve?”
Mizuke had added an inquiry of her own before Kaname could reply: “Something..... romantic....?”
“Romantic? Me? AH HAH HAH HA HAH!” Kaname’s response had been rushed and somewhat excessive. He had told her on numerous occasions that loud laughter was an environmental hazard. She had had struck him repeatedly the time he borrowed a decibel meter to prove his point.
Christmas Eve....
Something romantic....
December 24th WAS Christmas Eve...
Sousuke had been stunned. He somehow felt personally at risk, dangerously so. The last time he had felt anything like this had been the time he stopped his foot just inches above a well-concealed anti-personnel mine.
Kaname? Him? Something romantic?
Romantic?
How? Why? For what purpose? She had not made any obvious overtures regarding dating in the past. In fact, half of the time he couldn’t be certain whether or not she hated him!
There a big difference between hating and dating.
Or, so he surmised.
Dating?
The very thought made him stiffen.
He must be jumping to conclusions.
That is a dangerous habit in a soldier.
But, he also knew how dangerous ignorance could be to an operative.
Yes, it might be possible that she wanted to arrange a tryst with someone else, an adult perhaps, and needed him present to provide a cover story. Maybe it was a married man or a famous politician. Could it be someone from another school, a boy she was willing to share Jindai secrets with? Not a teacher!
None of that made any sense. Kaname was not like that. Realizing that such possibilities didn’t likely exist, he began to sweat heavily. His heart raced at great speed, even though he had not exerted himself. He felt dizzy, and his breathing was labored. He could not afford to fall ill, not before he solved this mystery.
Flashes from his past ran before his eyes fleetingly, raising his stress level even higher. Scenes from a movie Kurz had forced him to watch once, a romantic film with very little clothing. A vision of Kaname standing in her mother’s kimono. Quick glimpses of her body behind the screen in the Nurse’s office.
“NO! Those thoughts serve no purpose. Such feelings get soldiers in trouble- --they do not aid them in any way....”
For some reason, he involuntarily recalled how it felt to have Kaname in his arms during various rescue situations. The scent of her perfume filled his mind, causing him to look to see if she was actually there. The look in her eyes, it had confused him more than once---an openness and a sharing, followed by disappointment for some reason. He recalled the sound of her voice during quiet moments alone---certain notes and inflections caused his throat to tighten. There was a discomfort in parts of his body he did not wish to acknowledge.
“This does not make any sense. A piece of paper should not distract a Specialist in this manner. I may need a medical examination....”
He remembered watching another movie, an instructional video from an Australian sheep breeding program that Kurz gift-wrapped for his birthday one year. Befuddled, he had watched the documentary, trying to determine what secret military value it might hold. His long-haired squad mate told everyone at the dinner table that night that Sousuke had been watching a How-To movie.
Melissa had to explain the joke to him---after she had Kurz wash every inch of each Arm Slave in the holding bay.
A brief image of Kaname dressed only in a skimpy wool coat passed before his eyes. Where had THAT come from??? Had the solution on the card been a hallucinogen? Was it the center of some plot after all?
Sousuke took his own pulse. He checked his capillary refill time. There were no irregularities in his heartbeat. A brief neurological exam failed to show any glaring deficits or hyper-reactivity. He was well oriented to person, place, and time. There were no obvious visual field defects or disturbances of cerebellar function.
He needed to talk with someone. His reactions might indicate a tendency that could spell disaster in future missions. If he were subject to some inappropriate psychological or physical condition, it would be best to have it looked into as soon as possible..
And if the card did indeed have something to do with dating....
Or boy and girl things....
He would DEFINITELY need to speak to somebody!
His arms seemed to be experiencing a slight tremor. Strange. He would need to sneak into the infirmary and borrow a thermometer. He might also see if they had any sterile saline solution. He might be well-served by starting an IV. His mouth was incredibly dry.
Who should he contact? It had not taken him long to run down the list of possibilities.
It couldn’t be anyone at the school. Even he understood the propensity for gossip, and the devastating effects it could have.
Not Kurz! Not unless he wanted the issue discussed throughout Da Danaan, the Mithril base, and bars throughout Southeast Asia.
Tessa? No!!! That would be the last person on earth he would bring up such a subject with. The Captain’s behavior around him was another point of confusion.
Kurz had suggested he watch the sheep movie with Tessa. He hadn’t. Just the same, a vision of her in a lamb costume began to materialize. He struck himself hard on the side of the head, chasing it away just in time.
Tessa? The last person? Negative! Sousuke swallowed as best he could. THAT would be Cmdr. Mardukas. He had to make certain that the Cmdr. never had reason to suspect some incapacity or disability. Never. Not ever.
Perhaps Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin. His judgment proved repeatedly sound. Though he was certainly not a father figure or friend, the Lt. Cmdr. Often looked out for Sousuke’s best interest. No, it would be best not to raise any question of doubt there as well.
The answer was obvious. He should have settled on it straight out. Sgt. Major Mao. She was not someone inclined to go running to their commanding officers. It was in her best interest to have all of her squad members in peak physical and mental condition. In addition, she was a woman. There was a saying ‘send a thief to catch a thief.’ Perhaps a woman was the best person to ask about Kaname’s possible intentions and expectations---unless there were certain secrets that females were beholden to keep privy.
What other options did he have?
He would stay outside waiting for Melissa to get on the line, or until the start of the next period. Fortunately, no one else was outside braving the icy winds.
“Urzu-7, this is Urzu-2, do you read me? Over.”
Sousuke felt relieved. In fact, he hadn’t felt that much relief since the time a Mithril copter had appeared overhead, snatching him out of a dangerous firefight in a drug runner’s compound, seconds before the charges he had planted blew the group of buildings sky high.
“Urzu-2, this is Urzu-7. I read you.”
“Sousuke! What is your situation. The radio officer said your message was urgent. Is the school under attack? Has Kaname been kidnapped or injured? I can have the rest of the SRT mobilized within fifteen minutes. Launch windows may be somewhat tricky, but the sub should be able to surface in twice that time.”
“Uh....”
“Sousuke, are you injured? What is going on? Urzu-7..... answer. If you are in too much danger to answer, I will start emergency proceedings immediately.” Melissa went on to tell an unidentified officer to locate the other SRT members aboard Da Danaan.
“Uh...”
“Dammit!!!! There must be something wrong. Hold on Sousuke. We’ll get help there as soon as....” The Sgt. Major was clearly concerned. Sousuke interrupted her.
“No.”
“What? Repeat, Urzu-7. Come on Sousuke!” Her voice was insistent.
“The situation is urgent, but it...uh...is not an... uh... emergency.”
“How? You pulled me away from a planning session, mister. This had better be important. Sousuke, you don’t want to move ahead of Kurz on my shit list!!!” Melissa sounded like she was quickly growing angry.
“Ummm....”
“SAGARA!!! Get to it. That’s an order.”
“Sir, yes sir!!!” Sousuke actually stood and snapped to attention. “This morning, Miss Chidori was acting strangely. Her behavior has grown more suspicious with every passing moment. Then I discovered the item....”
“What, Sousuke? A bomb? Listening device? Some evidence that she might have been blackmailed or drugged? Just what kind of threat do you suspect?”
“I am uncertain. That is why I have contacted you. She dropped a card. It had my name on it. I read it. I do not understand the situation and do not wish to compromise my mission. I needed the advice of my superior.”
There was no reply.
One minute passed. Then two. The line was still open, and Sousuke could hear faint sonar pings in the background.
“Sgt. Major?”
Still no answer.
“Sgt. Major Mao, are you still there?”
“A card, Sousuke?” Melissa’s voice was totally flat. Sousuke had never heard her quite that deadpan before.
“Affirmative! With a wax seal, a ribbon, and an inorganic substance most likely representing perfume.”
There was no reply, again. Sousuke could barely make out the sound of something being crumpled.
There was a male voice in the background: “But that can was full, Sgt. Major Mao.”
Melissa’s reply was terse and razor-edged: “I know that!”
The silence returned. All Sousuke heard was breathing, the kind that all operatives were taught to use in stress reduction.
“OK, Sousuke. Let’s forget that you called me on a secure line to inform me that you got a card. A card. What exactly is the problem?” Melissa sounded much calmer, almost personable.
“Kaname invited me to dinner on December 24th. To a fancy restaurant. She also mentioned reservations at a hotel called Belles Des Belles.”
Sousuke heard a quick in rush of breath. Then chuckling. Followed by out and out laughter. “Wooo Hooo! What Weber wouldn’t give to hear this one!!!” The Sgt. Major had done a complete turn around. She now sounded cheerful--- too much so.
“Sgt. Major?”
“I can see why you called now, Sousuke. I’ve been to Belles Des Belles before, and any number of places like it. Has anyone explained to you what type of hotel it is?” Melissa’s voice sounded rich with anticipation.
“Negative! Is it a meeting place for terrorists or operatives? Could this be some kind of a trap?” Sousuke began to be concerned.
“Yes. It could indeed be some kind of trap....” Her voice was practically ecstatic. That was an inappropriate response for a potentially dangerous situation.
“But not the type that you would know anything about, Sousuke.
“But Kaname....”
“The Belles Des Belles is a Love Hotel, Sousuke.” Melissa paused, wishing she had a video feed of her subordinate. “It is a meeting place for couples and lovers. A place to go to spend some time together, away from the cramped rooms and thin walls of their apartments and work place.”
“Uh....”
“They have a bed, and all sorts of amenities. There may even be some kind of theme in the décor and the furniture. The better places are in high demand. Reservations need to be made weeks in advance, especially for Christmas Eve.”
“Uh...”
“You do realize that Christmas Eve is a night for couples to indulge their affection and express their amorous.....or lustful..... feelings?”
“Uh...”
“It would seem that a certain blue-haired girl has invited you to spend some time alone with her at a romantic hideaway.” Inexplicably, Melissa muted the channel momentarily, right after she began chortling uncontrollably.
Sousuke dropped his handset, then needed to remove his mitten to pick it up again.
“Urzu-7, are you still there?”
“Affirmative.” Sousuke’s voice was higher in pitch than before.
“At ease, Sousuke. At ease. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed at you.” The sound of Melissa’s voice clearly said she was fighting not to laugh again.
“You’re absolutely priceless, do you know that? But, I wouldn’t have you any other way.”
“Sgt. Major?”
“A mean man in a fight, before you even needed to shave. A maestro in an Arm Slave. One of the best operatives that Mithril has. A fine comrade. And more clueless than a boy in middle school!” There was humor and affection in Melissa’s voice.
“I see.” Sousuke sounded somewhat dejected. It was not the first time that someone had clued him in on just how clueless he was. It was painfully obvious to him, even without anyone’s observations.
“You should keep one thing in mind though, Sousuke. If anyone knows that, it’s Kaname. She still sent you the card. You two have been through a lot, you know. Even if you haven’t stumbled across the fact yourself, you have changed in a lot of ways since you’ve spent time with her.”
It was Sousuke’s time to be silent.
Melissa’s words had definitely done something. He no longer felt like a spring that had been wound too tightly. But, the whole concept of someone taking an interest in him was too new, too foreign. Romantic entanglements had never been allowed aboard the TDD-1 or at the Mithril camps and bases, even had he been old enough to attract such attention. No, for the past few years, when he was not on board a submersible or stationed in some camp, he was at various points throughout the globe, involved in a mission. Much of his free time had been spent hiking, fishing, reading, or working out.... alone.
“I was not trained in dating. The stories that Sgt. Weber and others tell never made much sense to me. Such things did not happen amongst the youth of Afghanistan. Most marriages were arranged by parents. Curfew for girls was 7:00 pm. On the streets, I was not someone who was acceptable, even had I been old enough to be considered.”
Truth be told, he had no interest in girls whatsoever in his earliest days alone. Few boys his age did. Besides, survival was his top priority. There had been no opportunity for companionship of any kind. That came later. He learned that there are things you might see....and might even come to want.... that you should never hope for... and would never have chance to touch.
“In mujahadeen service, the women of ease all laughed at my age, and no man would introduce his daughters. I was a warrior, nothing more. What urges or feelings awakened in me then were by necessity ignored or put down.”
“I’m sorry, Sousuke.” Melissa’s voice was deep and troubled. “I shouldn’t have made light of things. It’s easy to forget what you’ve been through.” She though a moment more. “Do you think poorly of yourself because of all that?” Her voice was almost too quiet to hear.
“I..... I..... do not know. I am a soldier. As long as it does not affect my performance in battle, I suppose it is not a problem.” Sousuke’s voice was emotionless, robotic.
His answer had not been completely honest.
The fact had not escaped Sgt. Major Mao.
“I think you’re wrong, Sousuke. You are a soldier, but that is not all that you are. It’s what you DO. Men or women who repress their feelings and emotions can often make superb fighters.... for a while. Sooner or later, they often run into trouble. I know that all too well. It’s why I had to make a change. It’s how I ended up in Mithril. I was almost too late.” There was an unmistakable sadness in her voice.
“I do not know. I have no way to know. When I am told to fight, I fight. When I need to kill, I kill. In between, I simply live. I do not know what I want. I don’t know what to do. Can you tell me what I should do?” Sousuke’s voice bubbled up from deep within his soul, the pleas of a young boy looking for someone to play a role his parents would have, if they had been allowed to go on living.
Melissa wished she could give Sousuke the peace he sought and the knowledge he needed. But, those were things he had to find for himself. All she could do was offer advice.
“There are no easy answers, Sousuke. But, this is also not a life or death situation. Your value as a person is not at risk. Your effectiveness as a professional may well suffer more if you remain confused. All that you really have to worry about are you heart and your pride. All that I can do is make a suggestion.”
“Sergeant Major?”
“I know it’s Tessa’s spiel, but when we talk like this, you can call me Melissa. It’s OK. I won’t report it, and I promise not to kick upside the head or punch you below the belt. I’ll take it out on Kurz instead. How‘s that?”
“Acceptable. Melissa. What is your advice?”
“Ask yourself some questions. Be honest with your answers. Don’t be afraid of any truth you may realize. Make sure you follow the same path you do in battle---be willing to take chances, if the goal is worth attaining. Decide for yourself what you want, paying no attention to your official mission objectives. Pay attention to Kaname---she will let you know if you are doing well or not. Trust me..... she will.”
Melissa laughed. “Listen to me. I sound like a mother hen or a toothless grandma. Shit!”
“What kind of questions should I ask?”
“You have risked your life many times for Miss Chidori, haven’t you? Ask yourself if you would do the same thing if she was no longer your professional responsibility, and under what circumstances. Take it a step further, and ask yourself if you would do the same if you were ordered not to, your career in jeopardy were you to disobey your commands.”
“I see.” Sousuke already knew the answer. He had never looked at things that way before.
“You spend a lot of time around her, too. Would you want to do that if you were discharged from Mithril, and where given the chance for a relatively normal life. How would you feel instead, if Tessa told you tomorrow you had to leave, never to return?”
“Ah.”
“And, for a little while, remove all thoughts of missions, duty, obligation, and threats from your mind. Think nothing about vigilance, responsibilities, professional conduct, and the like. Then, ask yourself how you feel when she’s near. When she smiles. When she speaks kindly to you. When parts of her body catch your attention....”
“But...”
“Sousuke, is there something you want to deny?!!” Melissa’s voice snapped like a whip. It was her Drill Sergeant persona again.
“Uh...”
“SAGARA!!!”
“Negative, Sergeant Major. No.”
“Good. There’s hope for you yet. Tell Kaname I said that, too. Where was I? Ask yourself how you feel when she shows interest in another guy. When you think she might hate you. When your mistakes make her cry or run away. When her eyes look tender. When she teases you. Everything.”
“I see.”
“Simple, right?” Melissa laughed, then sobered quickly.
“It might not come naturally, Sousuke. But, I will guarantee it will prove useful. One way or another. It doesn’t matter if you find you would be ideally suited as a gigolo, or belong tucked behind the walls of some musty old monastery. All you need to do is find what sounds true to your own heart. There are no right or wrong answers. And, there is only one way to find out whether or not Kaname might be the girl for you.”
“Why....”
“Trust me in this, Sousuke. It’s something you need to find out, one way or another. There is one thing worse than taking a chance and making a mistake.... it’s letting something good slip by without even trying.”
It took a while before Sousuke was ready to answer. For a few long moments, the time between each beat of his heart felt like an eternity.
“I will do as you recommend, Melissa.”
“Good. I....” Melissa stopped in mid-sentence. Sousuke could hear a short conversation with someone else.
“I’ve been informed that I must immediately return to the meeting. Accordingly, if you call me ‘Melissa’ again before I end transmission, I will present your balls to you on a string. You can offer them to Kaname as a corsage, if you like. Do I make myself clear?!!” There was still a hint of levity in her growl.
“Affirmative.”
“Carry on, Urzu-7. God speed. Wait. Before I leave, do you want me to have Kurz call you with some advice?”
“N-O-O-O!!!”
“Urzu-2, signing off.” Sousuke heard laughter before the transmission terminated.
He looked at the school building as if it were the lair of some great beast. He took out the card and held it in his hand. Was it his sword? The Holy Grail? Or an invitation to join the creature for dinner, knowing full well who was on the menu? Might there be a fair maiden waiting inside, hoping for his arrival? Could he be a knight in shining armor? Especially given the reputation of many knights when the ladies helped them out of their armor....
His cheeks burned warm, despite the frigid air.
He shook his head.
There were questions to ask and answers to find. He would need to approach Kaname with a reply. That is, if he could get his feet moving again.
He practiced saying ‘Yes,’ just in case that was the answer he settled on. It would probably be better if his response were audible. Maybe he should bring pencil and paper just in case.
Did Kaname know sign language?
