[Fanfic] Sousuke's last stand - ch 10 (Pg-13)
Posted: Sun Jun 06, 2004 11:03 pm
Chapter 10 – Obsession?
The next evening…
Sousuke thoughts relentlessly replayed the conversation before Kaname went home. She had been quietly resting in the niche of his shoulder with his arms wrapped around her, when she sat up with a serious look on her face. Looking up into his, she point blankly asked, “Sousuke why are you applying to the same college as I am?”
“To be with you.” - There wasn’t any other answer for him being here, away from Mithril. He was simple, predictable in this way. Shouldn’t she have known the answer?
“Have you thought of what you’re going to do? You can’t just follow me around all my life. What if we don’t make it as a couple? What will you do?”
He sat in silence. Why couldn’t he just follow her? Granted, he’d be getting a Criminal Justice degree, then likely apply to the police force. But, a future WITHOUT her? He struggled to push that 10 ton thought out of the way. What did she want from him? Wasn’t she happy just being together? Now that the threat to her was minimal, wouldn’t they have a peaceful life – together? A deadly serious look shadowed his face.
Expectantly, she waited. No answer came.
“Sousuke, I love you. I didn’t mean to put you in a bad mood. I’m sorry. I need to go – I promised Kyouko I’d go shopping with her in the morning. It’s late and I need some sleep. She knows you’re here. But, I can’t wait to tell her you’re back for good. See you tomorrow.” she crawled off the couch, ruffled his hair and kissed him on the forehead.
When he saw her out, he held her so tightly that she had asked him to let her breathe.
The door shut. Left alone for his thoughts to haunt him, he just stared at the door.
…
Snapping back, he shook his head. “Get a hold of your self. The soldier inside of you wouldn’t have let that thought control you. The civilian won’t either,” he closed his eyes, focused himself and let out a deep breath.
…
Glock safely tucked under his pillow, Sousuke tried to find a comfortable position on the couch. Had he been foolish to hope that Kaname would stay the night? He tossed. Why did she have to start that conversation before she left? He turned. He beat his head on his pillow. “This is getting you no where…STOP the ‘what ifs’!” he yelled at himself inside his own head.
His head turned toward the table and his eyes lighted on the Tokyo University registration form and entrance exam study guide. Why not do something – get your mind off this? Sleepily he trudged to the table.
…
3 A.M. Sousuke’s head was nose down on his study guide. He breathed irregularly, eyes tracing REM patterns on his eyelids, the happenings of his dreams tried to force themselves into reality as he screamed, “KANAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Sweating and shaking, Sousuke awoke from hearing his own voice. The nightmare replayed in his head.
Locked in her whispered state, she lay screaming on the verge of mental collapse. He was outside the room unable to get in – nothing he did would penetrate that wall. She was helpless and all he could do was watch.
His mind jolted as it switched gears to the song Kaname made him listen to the day before…
Softly opening my heart
If I pull you toward me hard
I'll certainly get through to you better
Well...
Living busily, squeezing out everything
My legs get tangled
But I always get ahead with them
Taking it, catching it
If it isn't you
It has no meaning **
His head drooped and he ran his hands through his hair. Was he so obsessed with Kaname that it made him unstable? Or was she the first normal part of his life - unsettling all he had built his life around? What would happen if she were gone? Everything was adequate, no better than that, until that conversation a few hours ago. Should he call her to be sure she was all right or should he just let her sleep?
“Focus,” he voiced his thought and forced himself to obey his own order. His eyes roamed to his pillow… “Of course…” - a placid look replaced the insanity.
The Glock, her gift of love… He scrambled over to dig the holster out of his armory trunk.
Sliding it on, he recalled every touch from her as she put it on him the first time. Comfort came from the hug of the straps around his shoulders. Sliding his Glock into the holster, he closed his eyes and stood taller. Kaname knew him well. Did she imagine he’d find consolation from it in the early hours of the morning, when she planned this gift? This Glock wasn’t something to shove under his pillow – it was meant to be at his side, especially when she couldn’t be.
An ache still nagged at his heart, but he didn’t feel like he was losing his mind anymore. Should he call her? Better safe than sorry.
7 rings…8 rings…9 rings…
“Uh, hello?” she answered – sleep and annoyance messages subliminally being sent to the offending caller.
“Kaname, are you ok?”
“Sousuke! Argh. Yes, I’m fine. What are you doing calling me at…3:25 A.M.?”
“Uhm…sorry.”
“Listen, it’s sweet of you to care. Now go to bed. I’ll stop by your place before I meet Kyouko in the morning. Ok?”
“Affirmative.”
…
He flopped on the couch, relief and sleep flooding in like the tide.
-----------------------
** Song: Haruka Kanata (Far Off in the Distance) by Asian Kung Fu Generation. Snippet from English translation by the kind folks at mognet.net
Boy, can I tell my brain is fried from too much sun and fun today. I had thought I had work to do on this chap - but it was ready (there wasn't ANY yellow highlighting left showing trouble spots)....oy!
The next evening…
Sousuke thoughts relentlessly replayed the conversation before Kaname went home. She had been quietly resting in the niche of his shoulder with his arms wrapped around her, when she sat up with a serious look on her face. Looking up into his, she point blankly asked, “Sousuke why are you applying to the same college as I am?”
“To be with you.” - There wasn’t any other answer for him being here, away from Mithril. He was simple, predictable in this way. Shouldn’t she have known the answer?
“Have you thought of what you’re going to do? You can’t just follow me around all my life. What if we don’t make it as a couple? What will you do?”
He sat in silence. Why couldn’t he just follow her? Granted, he’d be getting a Criminal Justice degree, then likely apply to the police force. But, a future WITHOUT her? He struggled to push that 10 ton thought out of the way. What did she want from him? Wasn’t she happy just being together? Now that the threat to her was minimal, wouldn’t they have a peaceful life – together? A deadly serious look shadowed his face.
Expectantly, she waited. No answer came.
“Sousuke, I love you. I didn’t mean to put you in a bad mood. I’m sorry. I need to go – I promised Kyouko I’d go shopping with her in the morning. It’s late and I need some sleep. She knows you’re here. But, I can’t wait to tell her you’re back for good. See you tomorrow.” she crawled off the couch, ruffled his hair and kissed him on the forehead.
When he saw her out, he held her so tightly that she had asked him to let her breathe.
The door shut. Left alone for his thoughts to haunt him, he just stared at the door.
…
Snapping back, he shook his head. “Get a hold of your self. The soldier inside of you wouldn’t have let that thought control you. The civilian won’t either,” he closed his eyes, focused himself and let out a deep breath.
…
Glock safely tucked under his pillow, Sousuke tried to find a comfortable position on the couch. Had he been foolish to hope that Kaname would stay the night? He tossed. Why did she have to start that conversation before she left? He turned. He beat his head on his pillow. “This is getting you no where…STOP the ‘what ifs’!” he yelled at himself inside his own head.
His head turned toward the table and his eyes lighted on the Tokyo University registration form and entrance exam study guide. Why not do something – get your mind off this? Sleepily he trudged to the table.
…
3 A.M. Sousuke’s head was nose down on his study guide. He breathed irregularly, eyes tracing REM patterns on his eyelids, the happenings of his dreams tried to force themselves into reality as he screamed, “KANAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Sweating and shaking, Sousuke awoke from hearing his own voice. The nightmare replayed in his head.
Locked in her whispered state, she lay screaming on the verge of mental collapse. He was outside the room unable to get in – nothing he did would penetrate that wall. She was helpless and all he could do was watch.
His mind jolted as it switched gears to the song Kaname made him listen to the day before…
Softly opening my heart
If I pull you toward me hard
I'll certainly get through to you better
Well...
Living busily, squeezing out everything
My legs get tangled
But I always get ahead with them
Taking it, catching it
If it isn't you
It has no meaning **
His head drooped and he ran his hands through his hair. Was he so obsessed with Kaname that it made him unstable? Or was she the first normal part of his life - unsettling all he had built his life around? What would happen if she were gone? Everything was adequate, no better than that, until that conversation a few hours ago. Should he call her to be sure she was all right or should he just let her sleep?
“Focus,” he voiced his thought and forced himself to obey his own order. His eyes roamed to his pillow… “Of course…” - a placid look replaced the insanity.
The Glock, her gift of love… He scrambled over to dig the holster out of his armory trunk.
Sliding it on, he recalled every touch from her as she put it on him the first time. Comfort came from the hug of the straps around his shoulders. Sliding his Glock into the holster, he closed his eyes and stood taller. Kaname knew him well. Did she imagine he’d find consolation from it in the early hours of the morning, when she planned this gift? This Glock wasn’t something to shove under his pillow – it was meant to be at his side, especially when she couldn’t be.
An ache still nagged at his heart, but he didn’t feel like he was losing his mind anymore. Should he call her? Better safe than sorry.
7 rings…8 rings…9 rings…
“Uh, hello?” she answered – sleep and annoyance messages subliminally being sent to the offending caller.
“Kaname, are you ok?”
“Sousuke! Argh. Yes, I’m fine. What are you doing calling me at…3:25 A.M.?”
“Uhm…sorry.”
“Listen, it’s sweet of you to care. Now go to bed. I’ll stop by your place before I meet Kyouko in the morning. Ok?”
“Affirmative.”
…
He flopped on the couch, relief and sleep flooding in like the tide.
-----------------------
** Song: Haruka Kanata (Far Off in the Distance) by Asian Kung Fu Generation. Snippet from English translation by the kind folks at mognet.net
Boy, can I tell my brain is fried from too much sun and fun today. I had thought I had work to do on this chap - but it was ready (there wasn't ANY yellow highlighting left showing trouble spots)....oy!
me wonders what is up with Sousuke's little... dreams of late.
........................bodyguard I mean.