[FIC] Higher Education (pt 12)
Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 5:52 pm
The window pane rattled, good indication of the force of the winds outside.
Great torrents of rain fell outside, making loud pattering noises on the worn concrete floor of Kaname’s balcony. Wind chimes jangled continuously, with the ornate decoration tossed and buffeted to near destruction.
Occasional thunderclaps rumbled past like stampedes of heavenly creatures.
On a night not too different than this one, Kaname had the chance to explain to Sousuke how she had felt, and why she had done what she did. Instead, she had let an important opportunity slip away. Looking over at Sousuke, busy working with the ingredients she had given him, she gave thanks for having not lost the chance to get close to him again.
And, tonight, she would be able to speak about difficult things with greater in greater depth.
That was a good thing. Still, she thought about how she had reacted. Naturally, she had been shocked when he held her up against a wall with a gun to her neck. Then, he vanished, as if he had been a mirage. When she finally ran across him again… and he was being smothered by those girls… she had resorted to a trick to hold his attention. Even then, the once clueless soldier was affecting her poise and composure.
“I’m in danger.”
Those words had been pathetic. And, as it turned out, they had been prophetic. In a way, everything ended up making perfect sense. A battle had brought them close in Khanka. A terrorist attack had brought him closer to her here.
“Why are you watching her?”
Those other girls had been jealous, even possessive. She had thought them silly, wondering if they had a shred of pride. Why should anyone fawn over a guy that way? Where was their sense of dignity? Her arrogance had been misplaced.
“Why would I wish to do that?”
It hadn’t mattered what Sousuke had meant by that. Whether she knew it or not, Kaname had desperately wanted to see Sousuke again. Why couldn’t she admit it to herself?
She had been too proud.
And, she had been afraid.
“Never mind, Sousuke.”
She had thrown Sousuke’s umbrella at him, turned, then walked away. It wasn’t until she had reached the door of her apartment that she realized that she had been crying. But, instead of being sad and depressed at her loss, she had given into her anger again. All the blame had fallen on Sousuke. The food and utensils strewn across the kitchen floor had given mute testimony to that fact.
“Great, that’s all I need. To have the power go out.”
Her words had been predictive again. Disoriented, and tied into knots by her warring emotions, Kaname had run into the hallway door. That had hurt! One useless idiot had showed up back in her life, and she turns into a mindless klutz.
“Respecting your desires, I stayed out of your way.”
She had snapped at him, angry that he might have been following her again out of duty and obligation, instead of the reasons she would have wanted three years ago. Sousuke had been telling her that he didn’t think she ever wanted to see her again; but, instead of taking the opportunity to deny that, she had turned on him.
Again.
“It’s… I… well, you show up out of the blue after three years, then just disappear. Can you understand how that made me feel?”
Kaname couldn’t blame herself for being upset earlier, when she had first seen him and her buried emotions rose back to the surface. But she had wanted to talk with him… to clean the slate… hope for something new between them. All that melted away, like snow falling on a warm road.
“But… you have to understand… it was hard….”
She had wanted him to understand. She didn’t want for him to hate her. But, she had an opportunity to apologize for treating him the way she had. Her pride still held her back. Her anger still had some grip on her.
“Sousuke, I did NOT want you gone… you had to go… I was really…..”
She had admitted it to herself. Finally, she had been ready to open up to him. Fate taught her an important lesson then. You never know how much time you have for anything. If you get too wrapped up in your own thoughts, desires, and emotions, the world can pass you by.
“I have to go.”
As quickly as that, he was gone. If either of them had died in that terrorist attack, her words would never have been spoken. If Sousuke had been pulled away on a separate mission, he might never have had reason again to risk opening up to her.
What a big difference a few days make.
Sousuke was here. They had gone through some heart-wrenching emotions, but had come out whole, stronger than before. She hoped their relationship would had taken root, with promise to grow into something special over time.
Something still needed to be done.
She owed Sousuke those explanations. She was going to have to tell him why she acted the way she did, those three years ago. To do that, she would need to delve back into painful memories.
There would be time for that later. She would make sure of it.
Now, however, she would continue to show Sousuke his way around the kitchen and pay attention to the stories he was telling her.
Kaname wanted to show him everything She new. She wanted to learn every single detail of his life that other people had been privileged to see, but she could only imagine.
There was more she wanted.
That much was obvious.
She had never been anywhere near this impulsive and flirtatious with any other guy. And, it wasn’t simply because she loved to get a reaction out of Sousuke.
If she tried to be logical, she’d ask herself what was going on. Sousuke was not the most handsome guy she had grown attached to. He wasn’t the brightest or the most outgoing.
Of course, she could counter with mention of the times they had spent together before, and the fact that they had saved each other’s lives on a number of occasions.
But, his future prospects were a big mystery. Who could even say how long he’d be alive? When would the next phone call take him away forever?
Did she want to be like the tragic heroine who faithfully waits for her hero, the knight who is constantly going away on one crusade or another? Working on her embroidery by the window, or brushing her long silken locks out in the serenity garden, she would tide away the time between his brief and passion-filled returns.
Her mind went through all of the arguments. But, her heart would make the decision.
There was never any doubt that Sousuke would do anything for her, within reason. He would die for her with no regret other than leaving her behind. Was that why she wanted to give him every thought in her head… every feeling in her heart… every dream and secret in her soul… and… and…
Her body.
She blushed. Sousuke had chosen that very moment to look over at her.
Of course!
Other guys had gotten her attention, and a small few had even won her heart. But none had made her feel this way. Was it love? The other guys had come on to her, while Sousuke merely responded to the situations she put him in. Was the past they shared what was causing her to yearn for him? She didn’t think so. The things that once caught her attention were still there. And, there were hints of a whole lot more.
Yes.
Kaname couldn’t think of another guy whom she had wanted to open up enough to, such that she would share her oldest hurts and her deepest fears.
Only Sousuke.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
“Tempura is, in many ways, an archetypal Japanese food. All the essential qualities of Japanese cuisine are reflected in its preparation. Do you have any idea what they are?“ Kaname had tied her hair behind her and was wearing a kerchief on her head like a queen’s crown. She waved a large wooden spoon around like it was her scepter.
“I do not have an answer, Kaname.” Sousuke looked nonplussed. That did not sit well with Kaname. The look, not the lack of an answer.
“Hmmmpppfff. I suppose I can tell you this one time, Sousuke---the use of absolutely fresh ingredients, the artful presentation, and the perfection of technique by a skilled chef. As you will find out tonight, result is one of the triumphs of Japanese cooking…. a fried food that is light and fresh-tasting rather than heavy and greasy. It's a cooking style in which the essence of the ingredient itself completely defines the taste.” Kaname folded her arms across her chest, her face set in an expression that clearly indicated that she was looking for applause or approval.
“I see.” Sousuke would normally had stopped there. But, adept at reading the ever changing battlefield, he was beginning to make use of that skill to read Kaname as well. “It is a well chosen dish then, and I am very fortunate to have someone as talented as you show it to me.”
Kaname beamed, but shut her smile down. She was in control there, not Sousuke.
“It often comes as a surprise to foreigners and Japanese alike to learn that tempura was not originally a Japanese dish; it actually owes its origins to the visiting Portuguese missionaries of the sixteenth century”
Kaname preened, glad to show Sousuke that SHE too had some historical knowledge.
“You are very clever, Kaname.” That had Kaname blow him a kiss. “Did you know that between 1499 and 1580, Portugal acquired an empire stretching from Brazil eastward to the Moluccas, reaching the zenith of its prosperity before entering upon a period of swift decline, ruled by Spanish Kings for nearly sixty years after that?” That earned Sousuke a very sour stare.
Kaname didn’t say anything.
Sousuke took note.
“Is it my turn again, Kaname?” Sousuke was ready to continue telling Kaname about his life over the past three years.
“I….. think….. that….. just….. was….. your….. turn…..” Kaname wasn’t truly angry. But, she was going with her feelings. She had decided that she was not going to walk on eggshells around Sousuke.
“AI see. One thing more, then. Are you aware of which spices originally came from one of the many islands of the Moluccas?” Sousuke had begun to surmise that Kaname’s competitive nature extended to more than the athletic field and the classroom. His own need to compete was usually limited to the battlefield; but, a Specialist is required to adapt.
“Why… would… I… care… about… that…. ?” Kaname was patting one hand with the end of the spoon.
“It is not a problem. I still consider you to be reasonably intelligent.” Sousuke did not smile. He continued to learn some things about himself around Kaname, and that was reason for amazement.
This was actually fun. Realizing that he saw something as fun left him feeling mixed emotions. What did fun mean to a soldier in the strictest sense? On the other hand, why should a soldier be different than everybody else?
That realization had been a long time coming.
“Excu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-se me….” Kaname spun the spoon in her hand like a baton.
“It is your turn, Kaname. What do you wish to tell me about Tempura, next?” Sousuke wore a perfectly innocent looking face.
“Yes. Back to Tempura. Sure. We have a lot of cooking to do. But out of kindness to you, I will let you tell me about the spices.” The spoon stopped spinning.” Kaname looked on expectantly.
“My apologies. I should not have bored you with information of such a useless nature. Please continue….” Sousuke nodded his head.
“It’s OK, Sousuke.” Kaname clenched her free hand into a fist.
Sousuke took not of Kaname’s appearance. He filed his newfound knowledge away.
“No. You are just being kind. It is one of the things that made me want to be near you in high school.”
“Oh.” Kaname smiled. Then her eyes narrowed again. “What were the spices, Sousuke?”
“You had asked me how I ended up at Tokyo University---”
“SOUSUKE!”
Sousuke closed his eyes. Opening them a second later, he pointed to a spice rack hanging from a long towel and utensil bar. “Nutmeg and Cloves.”
“Good boy!” Kaname put down the spoon and fluffed her hair. She looked at Sousuke a moment, smiled, then came over to lean against him again. “It’s OK Sousuke, I still consider you reasonably brave.” She bumped against him, then headed back to her cooking.
Kaname showed Sousuke the bowl she had been working with, after having described what ingredients were needed to make the batter.
“The batter shouldn't be mixed too thoroughly, but should be lumpy and full of air bubbles. To achieve this consistency the batter is made up in small batches immediately before it's used, and each batch is thrown away when it starts to settle. I‘ll remind you once again, making tempura is a delicate process, and lots of things can go wrong.” Kaname spoke in a loud confident voice, master of that that she surveyed.
“You mean like dating, Kaname? Sousuke asked, sounding inquisitive.
“Well… it….” Kaname wondered where that had come from.
“And like setting up perimeter charges with---” Sousuke never got to finish with his example.
“You better NOT make some strange otaku connection there. I don’t want to hear you comparing ME to some kind of mission or something!” Kaname stamped her foot. Not paying attention, she brought the batter-covered spoon down, missing the apron and leaving a steak of sticky food on her leg.
Her face was memorable.
“I see. My apologies.“ Sousuke liked seeing the different sides of Kaname. It was interesting. And it was a challenge. What could he do to see some more? Thinking about Kaname behavior that evening, he came up with a reasonable conjecture.
Sousuke hung his head and sighed.
“So, despite the actions that you took earlier, you do NOT want me to examine or comment upon your topography and terrain. Disappointing, but understandable.”
Kaname’s one hand twitched. She stared at the spoon with an accusatory glare.
“It would also be considered inappropriate for me to scout ahead, trying to determine your likes and dislikes. Regrettable, but beyond my control.”
The blue-haired girl narrowed her eyes. Sousuke was not going to get her too react. At least not without thinking first.
“No doubt you would be angry with me should I set attainable goals and make mission plans suitable for attaining those… uh… objectives.” Sousuke looked over at Kaname, who was busily tapping her toes.
He had fired his broadside. It was the best he could do with the armament he now had. It was time to find out how thick the walls of the other vessel were.
“Sousuke, I’m not strong enough to carry YOU all of the way to the hospital. But, please continue….” He was not about to get the better of her. If they were going to spar, he should have chosen a weapon he had an advantage with.
“Uh…I am finished.” Sousuke noted the smirk on Kaname’s face.
Another lesson learned.
“Now, when the vegetables and seafood are cut, washed, dried, and dipped in the batter to give them a thin, almost transparent coating, they're dropped one at a time into the oil… a combination of vegetable and sesame oil…. which must be constantly kept at exactly the right temperature. Finally, the tempura must be cooked for just the right amount of time, pulled out of the oil the precise moment it's done. If all goes well, the final product is perfect tempura -- crisp, golden brown, hot, and delicious.” She licked her lips.
You’re not ready for the major leagues yet, boy.
“The first rule of tempura is to get it while it's hot.” Kaname waited a moment then asked “Aren’t you going to ask if that’s like dating?
She struck a mildly provocative pose.
“Uh…” Sousuke’s face looked startled.
The opposing ship had superior weaponry.
Kaname chuckled. She did a slow turn.
Sit down. Next batter. No pun intended.
OK, let’s get serious now. I don’t want to stunt his growth or anything.
“Close your mouth, Sousuke. Show a little dignity. Hmmmpppfff!” She smiled. She was very pleased to see Sousuke give her a shy smile in return. “There are a few points that you have to remember:
“First, slice the vegetables thin so they can be fried in a short time.
“Second, you will need a deep, thick-walled pan or wok. It should be filled about 1 inch deep with oil.
“Third, deep-fry in small batches so you can maintain the temperature of the oil.
“Finally, tempura-fry vegetables at 340F and fish at 360F. OK. That’s enough for now. See one, do one, teach one. Let’s get busy!”
Kaname pushed Sousuke over towards the stove top, marveling once again about the firmness of his back. He must work-out more than he did before.
Together, the two of them cooked up the first food that they would eat together that night. It was a transcendent time for Kaname, even though she had cooked tempura many times before. She had never cooked it with Sousuke.
“OK, Sousuke. Let’s see if you remember what I told you. When should you take the tempura out?“
“When the batter gets SLIGHTLY brown. Vegetables usually take less than two to three minutes. The thinner the vegetable, the faster it cooks. For fish, the time to pull it out is when the batter turns very slightly brown. It is good idea to do trial frying in the beginning. You told me I should taste it and decide how long it will have to be fried. Once one gets the timing right, the rest is simple.” Sousuke looked to see if he was correct.
Kaname just stood there shaking her head, looking disappointed. Then abruptly, she smile and leaped on Sousuke, giving him a big bear hug.
The timing was right.
“Very good. I just may keep you after all?” Kaname smiled and gave Sousuke a quick kiss. Could she keep this going all night? She didn’t want it to stop.
Sousuke stiffened. It had Kaname’s throat go suddenly tight.
What was wrong?
“Sousuke?” Kaname looked concerned. Was her affectionate behavior too much for Sousuke? She stepped back.
“It’s alright, Kaname. Should I continue with my story?” Sousuke tightened his jaw and forced himself to relax.
“No, Sousuke.” Kaname voice was very soft. “Something I said bothered you. I would like to know what’s wrong. I hope you feel you can open up to me and tell me anything on you mind….. And everything in your heart.” She reached her hand out, but pulled it back.
She would give Sousuke his space.
“Yes. I must learn to do that. For you, Kaname. I…” Sousuke ran his hand through his hair, then looked into the blue-eyed girl’s eyes.
“My mission here may continue until I graduate. It might even go longer if Mithril can arrange for me to receive a position as a graduate student. But…” Sousuke’s eyes hardened. “They can pull me away at any time. For a brief mission. Or, forever. It’s just like before.”
There was anger in Sousuke’s voice. Anger and grief. Kaname knew what he must be feeling. He wanted something constant in his life, but not just the constant fighting. No doubt he felt obligated to Mithril. They had essentially saved his life, but he didn’t see risking his life repeatedly as sufficient payment in return.
Did he think he needed to dedicate his life to that organization as a result? Was he putting too much on his shoulders, thinking that the world as a whole was more important than one young man?
Was he worried about what that all would mean for her?
Probably, the big-hearted moron!
He was too upset now to ask him if he would ever consider leaving the service. No, now it was her duty and obligation to reassure him that she was willing to take the necessary risks, and to try and offer him a future with her, no matter how long it lasted.
“Yes, Sousuke. It’s a very heavy load you carry. If no one else has ever thanked you for your sacrifice, let me do so now.” Kaname pulled his arms around her and spoke in a deep emotion-filled voice. “Thank you. Thank you very much.”
Sousuke tightened his arms, almost to the point that Kaname couldn’t breath, crushed in his sudden embrace. He lowered his head against her, not saying a word in reply. The minutes grew longer, and his grip on her loosened bit by bit until he took his arms away.
“Thank YOU, Kaname. Every day, you show me something that no one else has. I wish….” Sousuke stopped, shaking his head.
“This isn’t fair for you. None of this is fair for you.” He slid out from in front of Kaname and walked over to the window, looking out into the darkened sky. “You deserve so much more,” he said.
Kaname didn’t know what to say. Telling him how she felt wouldn’t chase away his fears. There was no way to truthfully tell him that everything would always be wonderful.
“Sousuke, it’s not about what I deserve. It’s about who I want. No. It’s about who I need. I’m not just saying this to make you feel better. No one else has made me feel the way you have in these short days. Angry. Remorseful. Hurt. Excited. Hopeful. Happy. You need to understand that.” She walked over to Sousuke timidly, her determination and strength growing with each step.
“But… I will leave again some day. You will be hurt again, Kaname. I don’t wish to cause you that kind of pain again. I’m not as worried about how much it will hurt me. I’m a trained professional. I will do what must be done.” Sousuke absentmindedly counted the seconds between lightning flashes and the subsequent thunder.
“I know Sousuke. I have already asked myself if I’m willing to face that again. I am. I would rather live one week with you… one month… one year… and discover all the things I never had reason to discover before, than throw away those chances because I’m afraid of what happens when I let them go. And in that time, I can grow with you, learning the best way to comfort you, soldier.
Sousuke shuddered. He pulled away from Kaname, turned, and took a step away.
“Sousuke? What? I---”
“I am sorry, Kaname. Your words. Feeling like I was, it was a shock to hear them.” Sousuke’s eyes looked haunted.
Kaname needed to know why.
“Can you tell me about it?” She spoke very evenly, trying not to seem either too eager or too worried.
“Yes. But, it will be otaku….” Sousuke expelled a great rush of breath, then tried to relax.
“That’s OK, Sousuke. Just this once.” Kaname pulled out a chair and sat down. She looked at Sousuke… the other chair… and Sousuke again. He sat.
“It is a difficult tale for a Japanese man to tell. It is made more difficult by my being a soldier.” Sousuke took a sip of his now cold tea. “The Japanese Army used comfort stations extensively until the war ended in the Pacific in 1945. At those sites, they housed comfort women. That was the name they gave the women they….”
“Used for… uh… comfort.” Kaname bit her lip. She remembered reading something about new textbooks introduced into the junior high curriculum ignoring the plight of the women Sousuke was referencing.
“Yes. A majority of the women who provided…..uh… sexual release…. for Japanese soldiers were forcibly taken from their families. Family members were beaten or killed if they tried to rescue the women. The ages of the girls that were taken to the comfort houses ranged from 9.…. to 20. Some were married women with children.” Sousuke’s hand clenched into a fist. Even though he had been raised in conditions that could have caused him to feel otherwise, he respected the sanctity of individuals above anything else. That was a direct result of the horrors he had seen and the rights he never had.
“You don’t have to say any more, Sousuke.” Kaname felt for Sousuke, but was partly glad to have this opportunity. His reaction told her a great deal. Especially in a young man who might have expected a lot and looked to take a lot, given his talents and the rough thankless life he led.
“Do you know the fullness of the soldiers’ sins, Kaname? Once the women arrived at the comfort station they were forced to have sex with 20 to 30 men a day. If they resisted they were beaten or killed. A majority of the 80,000 to 200,000 comfort women were from Korea though others were recruited or kidnapped from China, Phillipines, Burma, and Indonesia. Many women became sterile from the repeated rapes. When the comfort women became useless because of their sickness, their milk was mixed with cyanide, their bodies taken to a cave and finally, the cave was blown up with a grenade.” Sousuke’s eyes were filled with pity and sadness.
Kaname’s respect for him continued to grow.
“I didn’t know that Sousuke.” Kaname wished she hadn’t heard those facts. She shuddered, thinking what it might have been like. It was easy to understand why the men in the Japanese Parliament did not want such shameful historical facts included in school books. It was no surprise that many Japanese refused to believe any such events took place.
“You can see why I behaved as I did. You said that you offered me comfort, even though you meant something else. And, I am a soldier. I apologize. It was wrong for me to overreact.” Sousuke sounded contrite.
Kaname placed her hand on Sousuke’s.
“Sousuke, you amaze me more every minute, do you know that?” Kaname smiled.
“Kaname? I know many facts. That should not---”
“That’s not what I meant, Sousuke. What would have happened if those soldiers were as good a man as you? I doubt many of them faced the things you have. They had an idea that they were entitled to take whatever they wanted. Women were not people to them. I don‘t think that you can totally blame Society for that.” Kaname drew aimless diagrams on Sousuke’s hand with one finger. “What worried you specifically, Sousuke. You’re not thinking of taking advantage of me against my will, are you?”
It was not something that she would joke about. She was reasonably certain Sousuke would never behave that way. But, a small part of her was still uncertain. With all that Sousuke had been through growing up, he was still a mystery in many ways.
“NO!!!”
“So?” Kaname tapped her finger on the fist that Sousuke had made, he opened his hand and she slid hers into it.
“The intentions may be different, but the end may be the same. I… uh… I am not implying….” Sousuke blushed.
“It would be alright if you did, Sosuske. I’m certain you realize what kind of things go on in a relationship between two consenting adults.” Kaname spoke very evenly and quietly, simply wanting to sound as if she were speaking a general fact. “We don’t need to talk about things that make you uncomfortable; but, I am quite capable of making my own decision… in everything. You need worry only about yourself. OK?”
“Uh…. ummm…. yes. What I meant to say is that I would hope to take comfort from you in the appropriate ways; but, when I had done so, I would move on again. I do not know if that would be using you unfairly.” Sousuke’s eyes held a great depth of concern for Kaname. At that moment, she had a great deal less doubt about her accidental admission to him earlier on.
“Sousuke, I want you to realize one thing. Don’t doubt it for a minute. I have already made up my own mind about our relationship. I know what I want. I am quite aware of what is at risk. I have chosen to accept whatever might happen. You need not worry a single bit about ANY of that. The only thing you need to do is follow your own heart.” Kaname’s voice was very stern. She wanted you make certain that she drove that point home.
“But----”
“I was hurt the first time, Sousuke. So were you. I wasn’t willing to admit my feelings then, and wasn’t prepared for what happen. That was my fault, not yours. Period. Understood?” Kaname’s eyes looked intense and unyielding.
Sousuke nodded his head.
“Good. We can talk about this later if you like. It might be better if you take some time to think things through.” Kaname would too, but had a good idea what her decision would be.
“Yes. You are very wise, Kaname. I am very fortunate.” Sousuke’s face was unreadable.
Kaname blushed.
“Just you remember that! Now, it’s your turn. You were going to tell me about how you came to Tokyo University.” Kaname stood up and walked over to the countertop. “I’ll start getting things ready for the next dish while you speak. It will be pan-fried batter cake that is topped with various ingredients. Okobomiyaki.”
“Kaname, isn’t Okonomiyaki a fast food, usually not suitable for cooking at home due to the amount of fire power required for cooking?” Sousuke raised an eyebrow.
“Firepower, Sousuke?” Kaname put her hands on her hips.
“Uh… amount and type of heat required?” Sousuke blinked repeatedly. Did he have to be that careful with his words?
“Yes, but I have a recipe that’s similar and suitable for small kitchens. It’s pretty simple, consisting of a bowl of pancake-like batter, plus a dish of diced vegetables and the main ingredient, such as shrimp or pork. Okonomiyaki" literally means ‘cook what you like,’ so people use all sorts of things.”
“Rolls… protein bars… and MREs?” Sousuke asked with a straight face. He had decided that he was not going to operate entirely in a No-Otaku zone. In battle, forces from different nations often need to compromise. In a personal relationship, the same thing would make sense.
Wouldn’t it?
Kaname didn’t answer immediately. After thinking, she said. “Not tonight. But if you want to try that, we will. You will eat it all, however. Every last bit. I hate waste.”
“Uh. It was just a question.” Sousuke accepted whatever small headway he had made.
“Mmmmm Hmmmm. Where was I? You developed a liking for pizza, right? I did too when I was in New York. Because the customers choose their own ingredients, Japanese sometimes compare okonomiyaki to pizza, although the similarity really ends there.” Kaname always thought that comparison was ridiculous. “The big thing to learn is when to flip the pancake and when to take it off the grill. Okonomiyaki takes longer to cook than you might expect, and the finished product doesn't hold together nearly as well as a breakfast pancake.”
“Yes, I am aware of that. The okonomiyaki style of cooking originated in Osaka and continues to be most popular there, although okonomiyaki-ya can be found throughout the country.” Sousuke nodded.
“How do you know that, Sousuke?” Kaname came tro understand that she had begun wanting to know where all of Sousuke’s eclectic bits of knowledge came from.
“From the time I spent in Osaka. It is an appropriate coincidence, as it ties in with my true and fabricated educational experience.” Sousuke went on to describe what he had done since leaving Tokyo.
Mithril had arranged for tutors, as some members felt that Sousuke would be a more valuable asset if he could be placed in a college environment when needed. The research community had begun working on a number of far-reaching technologies, with and without covert infusion of Black Technology. Some of the scientists were more worthy of a bodyguard than Whispered candidates were. Secrets from the Whispered were often fragmentary, promising something but not delivering on their true potential without some other clue. The above-board technological advances at some institutes were more fruitful.
Some were potentially more destabilizing.
“My high school transcripts were fabricated, so that I could get into Osaka University.” Sousuke looked a little sheepish. Kaname wondered why.
“Fabricated? You mean faked. Sousuke!” Kaname looked peeved.
“It was not my decision, Kaname. And, it served a purpose.” Sousuke did not wilt under the glare in Kaname’s eyes. “My performance there, and at the University, has been very good in any case.”
“Sousuke?” Kaname’s voice was too quiet and emotionless for her boyfriend’s liking.
“Yes?” Sousuke braced himself. If Kaname’s reactions were similar to those she had exhibited in the past, it was the calm before the storm.
“Did they change your transcript at Jindai High School?” Kaname’s voice was still very quiet.
“Affirmative.”
“I see.” Kaname put down the utensils that she had been using. “And just how much did they improve your grades, Sousuke?”
“Uh….” Soususke began to sweat. In the past, telling the truth would have gotten him a halisen between the eyes. “I do not believe the exact details would be elucidating.”
Kaname knew what that meant. “Better than my grades, Sousuke? The ones I worked…… hard…… to achieve?”
“Yes.” Sousuke swallowed.
What was Kaname going to do?
“Oh. Good. It’s nice having a smart boyfriend!” She turned back to her work.
Sousuke sighed. It was premature.
Kaname flipped a spoonful of batter onto his apron.
“Hmmmpppfff! At least I got a diploma!” She wasn’t really angry, though she was severely miffed.
Take that, cheater!
Big jerk!
“I am happy for you, Kaname. I would have liked to earn mine.” Sousuke was being honest. He hadn’t been a great student, but he had been improving with Kaname’s help.
“But you didn’t. Too bad. It’s not a problem.” Kaname walked over with a rag and cleaned off Sousuke’s apron. She then wiped his already clean cheeks with the sloppy cloth. “Ooops!” Smiling at Sousuke’s look, she cleaned him well with a clean paper towel.
“I also would have liked to earn the special Academic Achievement Award that they presented me with.” Sousuke walked across the kitchen.
The loud clatter of a bowel falling into the sink could be heard.
When Kaname turned and saw where Sousuke was, she scowled.
“Can I continue while you start on another bowl of batter?” Sousuke asked calmly.
“Did they give you a Nobel Prize, too?” Kaname tossed her hair. “Just wondering….” Kaname no longer looked displeased.
“Yes. In Kitchen Survival.”
Kaname smiled.
Good comeback Sousuke.
There may be some hope for you yet.
Sousuke went on to describe his days at the college, but left out all references to his work.
“Sousuke? Were you there as a Security Specialist, as you are here?” Kaname thought that was the most likely answer.
“Negative.”
“Did you help guard one of the scientists?” She nodded her head. That was also a logical answer.
“No.”
“It wasn’t another Whispered girl, was it?” Kaname bit her lip. If it was, she wasn’t certain she wanted to hear about it. That was silly, she knew. But, she couldn‘t help herself.
“No, not a Whispered girl, Kaname.”
Was that a slight catch in his voice?
Yes.
Could that mean….
“Was it a girl, Sousuke?” Kaname made certain to put the bowel out of reach. She began to wonder about her reactions.
“Affirmative. She was the daughter of the lead scientist at the Institute of Science and Industrial Research. He was pretty well guarded in his facilities, but his daughter was a colleg student at the undergraduate campus. That was where I was enrolled. I was in each class that she took. Her safety was of paramount importance, so that she could not be kidnapped and held as a bargaining chip. The work that the scientist was doing was extremely provocative.” Sousume walked over and took another sip of tea.
“Was she provocative, Sousuke?” Kaname’s face looked a little odd. That had slipped out without thinking. She shouldn’t be jealous, after all. She had gone out with numerous boys. Still….
“Kaname?”
“Never mind.” Time to pull herself together. She was Kaname Chidori after all.
“Yes. Well. Mithril had signed on as a cooperative partner with the scientist, secretly of course. His area of expertise was in Nanotechnology---or more specifically, in an area known as molecular manufacturing.” Sousuke had done a lot of research into that area, and some of the facts he found were potentially worrisome, possibly even more so than the cold fusion technology he was guarding now. By all rights, he should still be in Osaka, if the scientist had not died from a carcinoma that had not been suspected until shortly before his death.
“Was she pretty, Sousuke? This girl you were protecting.” Ooooh. Get a grip girl. Think nan… o… technology….
“Ummm. Yes. I believe she was. Is there a reason that is important?” Sousuke watched Kaname’s face, taking close notice of the contortions it went though. Interesting. Informative, too.
“”Uh… no. Why was Nanotechnology so important that you were with a… in Osaka instead of piloting Arbalest?”
“The ARX-7 had destroyed in an act of sabotage by traitors in league with an opposing group.” Sousuke felt like spitting. After the episode where Gauron took control of Dana. that kind of thing should not have happened again. “As the newer model of Arm Slave with Lambda Driver technology was not yet available, I was no longer a unique commodity.” Sousuke stopped and looked at Kaname.
“I had thought about asking for a transfer to Tokyo University, as I would have been useful in the start up of the security plans for the Applied Research lab. I did not ask for that, as I knew that you did not wish to see or speak to me.” Sousuke clenched his jaw.
Kaname looked shocked. Her mind immediately wondered what nearly two years might have been like if Sousuke had been her boyfriend all along. Maybe it was better this way. She was more mature, and had seen and done things away from him. He had changed in many ways too.
How much of it was due to the things he had done over the past three years?
“The scientist was perfecting means by which matter can be manipulated on an atom-by-atom or molecule-by-molecule basis, in order to attain any desired configuration. This was a total paradigm shift. Most contemporary industrial methods are top-down technologies… they take larger objects and make them smaller.”
“I see. I should probably get back to work as I listen. By the way, was the girl smaller or larger than me, Sousuke?” Kaname’s voice sounded calm and conversational. The term 'top-down' had made her twitch. She closed her eyes tight and said a short mantra.
“She was shorter. Top-down type of processes are somewhat of an aberration in the natural order of things---”
“I meant, was she more or less curvaceous, Sousuke.” Kaname busied herself with the new batch of batter. Well, there was no fighting it. She might as well get it out of her system.
“Uh…she was less ample in her… uh… assets, Kaname. But…” Sousuke grimaced. He still had trouble knowing when to stop. “As I was saying. Most products of living organisms… not to mention the organisms themselves…. are made very differently.”
“Sousuke, how was she made differently?” Kaname put the bowl down and looked at Sousuke. At the very least, this ought to give him the opportunity to speak about certain things with more confidence. Especially things that might make her less than ecstatic.
“Is there a specific thing you are after, Kaname? It may save you a number of questions.” Sousuke belived he understood what Kaname wanted to know. It was not relevant to his topic of discussion, but it was probably of great significance to her.
Should that make him feel uncomfortable, or flattered?
Kaname simply stood there tapping her foot. Faster than before.
“She was an apple blossom, Kaname. You are a cherry blossom. I prefer the later.” That answer ought to win points based on his stated preference alone. And, it ought to have her wondering exactly what he meant. “Human organs are created from tiny organelles and cells, themselves a type of molecular machine. A human brain… a coral reef…. even a mighty redwood tree… all of those and similar things progress from smaller components to the larger finished item.”
“That’s very interesting, Sousuke. I hadn’t heard anything about that science before. Were she and you an item. Did you have a similar relationship with her as you did with me? Or something more?” Kaname’s eyes looked slightly troubled for a moment.
“She was not my girlfriend Kaname. She never grew to be on continued friendly terms with me. We were not intimate. We did not share an apartment. We did not have adventures together. I did not miss her when I parted company.” Sousuke needed to mind his own control. For some unknwon reason, he was growing just the slightest bit exasperated.
“OK, OK. You don’t need all that detail. I don’t know why you sound so defensive….” Kaname busied herself by checking out the floor tiles.
Sousuke just shook his head. It took a bit before he found his tongue again. In the interim, Kaname smiled and asked. “Is there more…on Nanotechnology, I mean? There must be, knowing you.”
“It appears you do not wish to hear it.” Sousuke had decided Kaname that he was not an easy opponent in this type of endeavor. “I would rather talk about the girl now.”
“What?” Kaname flinched.
“Yes, she was very kind, and a quiet soul. I never needed to worry about being struck or thrown in front of cars.” Sousuke paused for effect. He had judged the chance of being struck to be of very low probability. Additionally, there were no taxi cabs in the kitchen area.
“Ok. I see. Well, don’t stop NOW, Sousuke.” Kaname knew exactly what Sousuke was doing. She really enjoyed seeing his continued attempts at meeting her on her own ground. She would find some way to get him back, never fear.
It was her responsibility.
Sousuke needed training, whether he knew it or not.
“The things I had learned elsewhere had come to fruit there. I never once blew up her correspondence… forgot her homework… placed her in life or death situations… or brought infectious agents into her presence.” Sousuke looked over at Kaname. She looked like she was in control. “I also never told her that she was beautiful.” He looked again. Kaname had let a quick smile slip. “But, she did touch her lips to mine on one occasion.”
“What?” Kaname’s face grew concerned, then went back to normal.
“But I digress. The human body begins as a single cell…..the fertilized ovum we learned about in high school. Yet, a mature human being consists of approximately 75 trillion cells, spread across an amazing spectrums of types. The potential of molecular manufacturing through Nanotechnology is comparable. If the technology reaches full fruit, some processes could result in the equivalent of growing Da Dannan or an army of Arm Slaves from the mechanical equivalent of a single fertilized egg.”
“Humpty Dumpty was an egg, Sousuke.” Kaname smiled a wicked smile. Mention some kiss would he. It was probably platonic.
“Kaname, that is a child’s story. Humpty Dumpty was a cannon from the English Civil War of1642-49. It was placed at St Mary at the Walls church and caused considerable damage to Lord Fairfax's attacking forces before a concentration of Roundhead fire onto the church brought the gun tumbling down.” Sousuke decide that he would try something Kaname was fond of. “Hmmmpppfff!!!” he turned to pay attention to something across the room.
For a moment, Kaname stood there staring. Then she smiled and ran at Sousuke. She had a batter-filled spoon in her hand.
That’s it, you’re going down!
The kitchen, arranged as it was, allowed Kaname to approach Sousuke quickly. His back turned when she started, he reacted instinctively.
A lightning quick step to the side was followed by a shoulder turn and lean.
Grabbing Kaname, he had her airborne before he realized what was going on.
Almost instantaneously, he changed his move, grabbing the spoon with one hand and Kaname with the other. Cradling her through the air, he brought her around his body and set her down gently on her feet.
“I apologize,” he said, looking into her frightened eyes. She still wasn’t certain what had just happened. “I reacted automatically. Part of me knew that you were the only one within reach, so I adjusted accordingly.”
Her heart racing, Kaname looked at Sousuke, then looked at the spoon. Not a drop of food had been spilled. Sousuke’s level of body control had been amazing. She was rattled, but not hurt.
Still, she was forced to wonder. Was Sousuke always on a hair-trigger? Was that how he had survived for so many years, placed in situations as a child that many adults had no chance of living through? Could he ever adjust his reactions around her?
Did all that mean she couldn’t be playful in some ways?
More importantly, did it mean that she wasn’t entirely safe around him?
“You look frightened, Kaname.” Sousuke himself was concerned. “Are you worried that I may be like the wild animals they always talk about?”
“Animals?” Kaname took the spoon when Sousuke offered it to her.
“People often think that lion or tiger cubs are very pleasant and wish them for pets. However, even trained well and raised with love and attention, they can revert back to their animal instincts at any time, even if they are placid and well-behaved for a majority of their lives.” By the manner of his statement, Kaname could tell that Sousuke had thought on this point before. “The same goes for other animals that have not been domesticated... or even some domesticated animals raised in difficult environments.”
“Should I be afraid, Sousuke?” Kaname new she was worried about one thing, now. She was worried how Sousuke might answer. “Is it something you can change? I can’t be sure that I might not spontaneously do something like that again when we’re together.” She ran one hand slowly up and down her leg.
“I need to adapt my mindset. I have done a similar thing before, in high school. You often struck swiftly and without warning with your halisen, but I did not react in that manner. I was acting in a new manner today, and I was distracted. It is inexcusable…… but correctable.” Sousuke sighed. “Perhaps I should not attempt to be something I’m not....”
Kaname swallowed and took a deep breath. She was still a little concerned, but thought she understood what Sousuke meant. “I would not like that Sousuke. Maybe we just need to take things slowly, so you have an opportunity to adjust a little at a time. I really like the way you’ve changed over the years. Very much. I also like what I’ve seen over the past day or so.”
“I do not wish to cause you even the slightest discomfort, Kaname. It may be better if----“
“SOUSUKE!” Kaname put the spoon down. Placing her hands on Sousuke, she shook him. “If you’re scared, fine. But I will handle this. There’s something special inside of you that has never had a chance to fully develop. Do you understand? You owe it to yourself to see what you can be.” Kaname shook Sousuke again, then leaned up against him. “If you really want me to be as happy as I can, you also owe it to me.”
Kaname knew that last statement was a little selfish. But, she also thought that it might spur Sousuke to do as she said.
“I see. I....”
“Now would be a very good time to hug me, Mister.” Kaname burrowed her head into his shoulder.
“Affirmative.” Sousuke wrapped his arms gingerly around Kaname.
“I’m NOT going to break, Sousuke.” There was tender, and there was overly timid. The first was great. They should be past the other by now, no matter what.
Sousuke tightened his arms and let out a long sigh. “No. You are very strong Kaname. Perhaps you will need to be.”
Kaname felt like shaking Sousuke again. But, she didn’t want that to lose its effectiveness.
“Sousuke, do not go looking for faults. That’s my job.” Kaname squeezed him hard then, wriggled out from his embrace. She smiled up at him. “Now, open up your mouth.” Kaname reached for the batter-filled spoon.
“Kaname?”
“Just do it, Sousuke!” She held the spoon up before his mouth. “Let me know how the batter tastes to you. Get an idea of how it should taste, because it is perfect.” She smiled.
Sousuke tasted the batter. “It is not unpleasant, Kaname.”
Kaname frowned.
“It tastes good, Kaname.”
Kaname smiled. “See. We can make these changes a little at a time. You’re going to have to be strong too, soldier.” She chuckled.
“Uh....”
“You do want to change some for me, don’t you Souske?” Kaname fluttered her eyelashes and pouted.
Sousuke stared a moment. Then, he nodded his head. “Yes. Will you do the same, Kaname?” It was a question that Sousuke felt a need to ask.
“Maybe,” Kanamae said impishly. “For me, it’s optional.” She stroked his arm once, then headed back to cooking. “Now, if you’re finished obsessing over that girl... whatever her name was... why don’t you tell me why Mithril was so worried about Nanotechnology.”
“If I must. It was pleasant speaking about her.” Sousuke didn’t crack a smile.
“Don’t push your luck, Mister.” Kaname grinned. “I’m not always this forgiving.”
“I see. I should begin then, while I still can. Nanotechnology can be used to create materials fifty times stronger than anything known while making it lighter at the same time. In a medical fields it may some day allow a cure for cancer and other diseases. But, like many powerful technologies, it poses significant risks, but in terns of accidents and willful abuse. Nano-devices can be programmed to be self-replicating, or can be made to have only a single one time effect. The possibility of replicators going “wild” and potentially devouring anything in their paths is not something to be taken lightly, however. The scientists referred to that as the ‘gray goo problem.’ Military Nanotechnology offers enormous potential for mischief, Kaname.”
“Why don’t they just ban it then?” Kaname shook her head. The world was full of enough scary things as it was.
“Such actions stand little chance of success. Despite expensive efforts, illicit drug manufacturing cannot be entirely eliminated. Larger nations had little success in controlling nuclear research in Iraq and North Korea. Even more telling was the Russian response regarding biological warfare. An international convention banned such research. The Soviets were a signatory, yet embarked on a huge program. Why?” Sousuke looked to see if Kaname could reason that out.
“Ummmmmmmmm…. If the other countries truly intended to honor the treaty, they would have a big advantage?” Kaname called Sousuke over to the stove to watch her finish up work on the large savory pancakes.
“Very good. I may just keep you around.” Sousuke did not look worried when he said that. Kaname smiled, noticing that. “Recalling that disturbing discovery, no one would risk being surpassed in Nanotechnology. History does often repeat itself.”
Kaname sniffed. “And you are going to tell me how, Sosusuke?” She then grinned. He was talking to her. He was in Tokyo. He was in her apartment. He was in an apron. She could be a little generous.
“Shouldn’t I, Kaname?” Sousuke did wonder at times if his area of expertise would have no positive effect on a ‘normal woman.’
“I wouldn’t let anyone else tell me those things. With you, it’s OK. If necessary, I can even make it mandatory.” Kaname poured the batter and other ingredients on a hot griddle.
“Understood.” Sousuke felt relieved. He found himself wanting Kaname to appreciate him for who and what he was. “In 1875, Great Britain was the world’s only superpower. High Explosives were a new technology, and its ingerent dangers led the nation to pass an act that barred all private experimentation in explosives and rocketry. The result years later was that German V-2 and V-1 weapons bombarded London and other cities rather than the other way around.”
Sousuke went on to tell more about his duties in Osaka, until Kaname asked him to flip the okonomiyaki for her.
“How did you like college when you were there?” Kaname debated which food to work on next. The grill was still extremely hot, so she decided to choose accordingly.
“It was not an unpleasant assignment. There were no attacks. The girl was never in any danger in retrospect. I was able to learn things.” Sousuke did not sound enthusiastic.
“Oh. How about here at Tokyo University?” Kaname unwrapped a package of fresh eel.
“I am enjoying the schoolwork more. The guard duty had been more hazardous, as you well know. There are….” Sousuke stopped, looking at Kaname as she faced away from him. “There are other things that I prefer too.”
“Thank you, Sousuke.” Kaname hoped that he had been speaking about her. “Things will only get better. I promise. Just wait and see. OK. Next. Grilled unagi. A delicacy. Popular not only for its flavor but also for its stamina-giving properties.”
“My stamina is already very good, Kaname.”
Kaname swallowed. Her reaction to Sousuke’s comment made her blush. She knew what the big idiot meant. Still….
“Are you OK, Kaname?” Sousuke had been watching her face.
“Good unagi combines a rich flavor with an appetizing texture, crisp on the outside but tender on the inside.” Kaname put her hand over her mouth and coughed. “The cooking process is what makes the eel both crisp and tender: I n a reastaurant, eels are first grilled over hot charcoals, then steamed to remove excess fat, then seasoned with a sweetish sauce and grilled a second time. We will do our best with whatever we have.“ She coughed again, still feeling as if she had swallowed something the wrong way.
“Yes. I always attempt to do that, Kaname. I will do that with you as well.“
Kaname felt herself grow warm in the face. She was glad that Sousuke could not read her thoughts.
Just what had brought all this on?
While Kaname helped Sousuke do the grilling, the young soldier told her about his first few months on the Komaba campus. He described his courses… his arrangement with the researchers… and the things he did on his own time. Kaname paid particular attention to the latter, wanting to find things they might do together that would make him more comfortable.
Sousuke also gave a detailed history of his ‘harem.’ Kaname was less pleased to hear all that, but couldn’t help smiling and laughing at times. Poor Sousuke. He had sounded like he was surrounded by an enemy he couldn’t fight back against. His admission that he had found a number of the girls attractive, and had been attempted to accept their offer of a date, had earned him an eel down the back of his shirt.
“It was… difficult seeing you Kaname…. when I did not let you see me.” Sousuke’s face went stiff when he admitted that. “It was especially hard in some ways… because those other girls were so… uh… interested….” Kaname gave him a brief hug, then removed the eel for him. Helping him pull his shirt tail out had her trembling for a brief moment.
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that any more. Back to unagi. As for the eels themselves, the best are caught wild rather than bred in eel farms. Common wisdom is that the ideal size between 12-20 inches.”
“I see then. I will remember that. Size matters. Correct?” Sousuke looked at Kaname, wondering why her eyes went wide
“Well... they say... but...” Kaname had trouble getting the first word out.
“Kaname. Your low blood pressure. You are not having that circulatory problem again?” Sousuke had noticed Kaname turning red again.
“NO!” Kaname winced. “No, Sousuke. I’m doing fine. Thank you. While the eel cooks. Let’s work on some Okinawan style cooking.” She smiled. It was her time to show her knowledge again. “It was only 100 years ago that the kingdom of Okinawa was incorporated into Japan, and the southern islands still maintain their own distinctive culture, language and cuisine. Okinawan cooking tends toward stronger and spicier flavors than Japanese food, and is more heavily influenced by Chinese cooking styles. Pork is a very important ingredient, and every part of the pig is used, from pig's feet and pig's ears to pork tripe. Other ingredients include local seafood and native tropical vegetables and fruits.”
Sousuke opened his mouth to speak, but stopped.
“Something to tell me about Okinawa, Sousuke?” Kaname raised an eyebrow.
“Another day, Kaname.” Sousuke let Kaname have her moment.
“Good. Now, could I interest you in some Pig’s ear or tripe?” Kaname was kidding. She didn’t have either of those, and was not fond of either.
“It is not a problem. I will eat whatever you have. I have consumed much worse.” Sousuke had not realized that Kaname had been joking.
“What do you mean, Sousuke? I hope you’re not talking about my cooking in high school!” Kaname narrowed her eyes.
“Negative.” Sousuke went on to tell Kaname about his childhood, from the days he ate slop in an orphanage in Kabul… through the days he would eat garbage, rats, dogs, and anything he could steal as a street urchin… to the days he was treated more like an enemy than a fighter during his early days with the mujahadeen. He went on to describe many of the things that he had eaten during long missions that had gone wrong.
Kaname went from shock to horror to disgust to shock again, more times than she could count. Souuske had never gone into this much detail about his early life before. He sorrow for him grew, but so did her admiration.
To have survived all that….
“Sousuke, was that why you liked my cooking at Jindai?” Kaname reached for another eel.
“No Kaname. Most of your meals were far superior to those things.” Sousuke didn’t catch his slip.
“Most of them. I see.” Kaname scowled. Then, smiling, she backed into Sousuke hard, causing him to garb onto her in order not to lose balance and fall. “Well, I’ll try to do better now. But, if you EVER bring any of that stuff into my kitchen, you will be leaving through that window. Do you hear me?”
“Affirmative.” Tentatively, Sousuke shifted his grasp. He wrapped his arms loosely around Kaname’s abdomen, a hair’s breadth beneath her breasts. When she moved, he made contact with them briefly.
“I… I will make some Okinawan chanpurunow… basically a stir-fry using some combination of tofu, leeks and eggs plus other ingredients.” Kaname was well aware where Sousuke’s hands rested.
“Tofu was invented over 2,000 years ago in China. Did you know that, Kaname?”
“No, Sousuke.” Kaname was content just to lean back against Sousuke, glad he had initiated the action, even if his first move had been out of necessity. She wondered if that was why she felt a bit shy. He was essentially in control, not her. She didn’t curtail his exposition on the ubiquitous foodstuff.
“It was supposedly brought to Japan in the Nara period by a Japanese delegation that had ventured to China to study Buddhism but instead came home with a shipload of hearty Chinese recipes. Tofu's earliest appearances in Japanese history were as Buddhist offerings, but tofu was soon discovered to be a valuable source of protein for the vegetarian clergy. It is one of the healthiest substances known to man and can provide a complete food package. Tofu is derived from soybean milk. That milk is the best milk food in terms of nutrition, even if compared to a mother’s milk.”
Kaname closed her eyes. Those last words had her fantasizing. He was very tempted to move Sousuke’s hands a bit higher, but was certain that would make him feel uneasy and uncomfortable. That was OK, She was just glad she was feeling what she was, despite all the things they had been through during their day of see-sawing emotions. Nothing that Sousuke had told her had made her feel any less strongly for him. If anything, they made her simple hormonally charged daydreams seem like something she truly wished for.
It was good for her to be patient, too. She wanted their bond to grow little by little, so it was strong and unbreakable. Anticipation wouldn‘t hurt her. It would probably make things all the more sweeter when the day came.
“Tofu is the Japanese way of pronouncing the Chinese dòu fu which, surprisingly, means rotten beans.” Sousuke finished with what he wanted to say.
“Great way to spark the appetite,” Kaname groused. She wasn’t only speaking about dinner.
They finished their cooking together, putting some of the food aside for bento lunches at school the next day. Each of them found things to talk about the time they had spent apart. Sousuke seemed to grow more comfortable around her and her open feelings. Kaname couldn’t have asked for more.
After dinner, it would be time for her to talk about her most difficult feelings and memories from the past.
But with Sousuke there, she'd be alright.
Great torrents of rain fell outside, making loud pattering noises on the worn concrete floor of Kaname’s balcony. Wind chimes jangled continuously, with the ornate decoration tossed and buffeted to near destruction.
Occasional thunderclaps rumbled past like stampedes of heavenly creatures.
On a night not too different than this one, Kaname had the chance to explain to Sousuke how she had felt, and why she had done what she did. Instead, she had let an important opportunity slip away. Looking over at Sousuke, busy working with the ingredients she had given him, she gave thanks for having not lost the chance to get close to him again.
And, tonight, she would be able to speak about difficult things with greater in greater depth.
That was a good thing. Still, she thought about how she had reacted. Naturally, she had been shocked when he held her up against a wall with a gun to her neck. Then, he vanished, as if he had been a mirage. When she finally ran across him again… and he was being smothered by those girls… she had resorted to a trick to hold his attention. Even then, the once clueless soldier was affecting her poise and composure.
“I’m in danger.”
Those words had been pathetic. And, as it turned out, they had been prophetic. In a way, everything ended up making perfect sense. A battle had brought them close in Khanka. A terrorist attack had brought him closer to her here.
“Why are you watching her?”
Those other girls had been jealous, even possessive. She had thought them silly, wondering if they had a shred of pride. Why should anyone fawn over a guy that way? Where was their sense of dignity? Her arrogance had been misplaced.
“Why would I wish to do that?”
It hadn’t mattered what Sousuke had meant by that. Whether she knew it or not, Kaname had desperately wanted to see Sousuke again. Why couldn’t she admit it to herself?
She had been too proud.
And, she had been afraid.
“Never mind, Sousuke.”
She had thrown Sousuke’s umbrella at him, turned, then walked away. It wasn’t until she had reached the door of her apartment that she realized that she had been crying. But, instead of being sad and depressed at her loss, she had given into her anger again. All the blame had fallen on Sousuke. The food and utensils strewn across the kitchen floor had given mute testimony to that fact.
“Great, that’s all I need. To have the power go out.”
Her words had been predictive again. Disoriented, and tied into knots by her warring emotions, Kaname had run into the hallway door. That had hurt! One useless idiot had showed up back in her life, and she turns into a mindless klutz.
“Respecting your desires, I stayed out of your way.”
She had snapped at him, angry that he might have been following her again out of duty and obligation, instead of the reasons she would have wanted three years ago. Sousuke had been telling her that he didn’t think she ever wanted to see her again; but, instead of taking the opportunity to deny that, she had turned on him.
Again.
“It’s… I… well, you show up out of the blue after three years, then just disappear. Can you understand how that made me feel?”
Kaname couldn’t blame herself for being upset earlier, when she had first seen him and her buried emotions rose back to the surface. But she had wanted to talk with him… to clean the slate… hope for something new between them. All that melted away, like snow falling on a warm road.
“But… you have to understand… it was hard….”
She had wanted him to understand. She didn’t want for him to hate her. But, she had an opportunity to apologize for treating him the way she had. Her pride still held her back. Her anger still had some grip on her.
“Sousuke, I did NOT want you gone… you had to go… I was really…..”
She had admitted it to herself. Finally, she had been ready to open up to him. Fate taught her an important lesson then. You never know how much time you have for anything. If you get too wrapped up in your own thoughts, desires, and emotions, the world can pass you by.
“I have to go.”
As quickly as that, he was gone. If either of them had died in that terrorist attack, her words would never have been spoken. If Sousuke had been pulled away on a separate mission, he might never have had reason again to risk opening up to her.
What a big difference a few days make.
Sousuke was here. They had gone through some heart-wrenching emotions, but had come out whole, stronger than before. She hoped their relationship would had taken root, with promise to grow into something special over time.
Something still needed to be done.
She owed Sousuke those explanations. She was going to have to tell him why she acted the way she did, those three years ago. To do that, she would need to delve back into painful memories.
There would be time for that later. She would make sure of it.
Now, however, she would continue to show Sousuke his way around the kitchen and pay attention to the stories he was telling her.
Kaname wanted to show him everything She new. She wanted to learn every single detail of his life that other people had been privileged to see, but she could only imagine.
There was more she wanted.
That much was obvious.
She had never been anywhere near this impulsive and flirtatious with any other guy. And, it wasn’t simply because she loved to get a reaction out of Sousuke.
If she tried to be logical, she’d ask herself what was going on. Sousuke was not the most handsome guy she had grown attached to. He wasn’t the brightest or the most outgoing.
Of course, she could counter with mention of the times they had spent together before, and the fact that they had saved each other’s lives on a number of occasions.
But, his future prospects were a big mystery. Who could even say how long he’d be alive? When would the next phone call take him away forever?
Did she want to be like the tragic heroine who faithfully waits for her hero, the knight who is constantly going away on one crusade or another? Working on her embroidery by the window, or brushing her long silken locks out in the serenity garden, she would tide away the time between his brief and passion-filled returns.
Her mind went through all of the arguments. But, her heart would make the decision.
There was never any doubt that Sousuke would do anything for her, within reason. He would die for her with no regret other than leaving her behind. Was that why she wanted to give him every thought in her head… every feeling in her heart… every dream and secret in her soul… and… and…
Her body.
She blushed. Sousuke had chosen that very moment to look over at her.
Of course!
Other guys had gotten her attention, and a small few had even won her heart. But none had made her feel this way. Was it love? The other guys had come on to her, while Sousuke merely responded to the situations she put him in. Was the past they shared what was causing her to yearn for him? She didn’t think so. The things that once caught her attention were still there. And, there were hints of a whole lot more.
Yes.
Kaname couldn’t think of another guy whom she had wanted to open up enough to, such that she would share her oldest hurts and her deepest fears.
Only Sousuke.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
“Tempura is, in many ways, an archetypal Japanese food. All the essential qualities of Japanese cuisine are reflected in its preparation. Do you have any idea what they are?“ Kaname had tied her hair behind her and was wearing a kerchief on her head like a queen’s crown. She waved a large wooden spoon around like it was her scepter.
“I do not have an answer, Kaname.” Sousuke looked nonplussed. That did not sit well with Kaname. The look, not the lack of an answer.
“Hmmmpppfff. I suppose I can tell you this one time, Sousuke---the use of absolutely fresh ingredients, the artful presentation, and the perfection of technique by a skilled chef. As you will find out tonight, result is one of the triumphs of Japanese cooking…. a fried food that is light and fresh-tasting rather than heavy and greasy. It's a cooking style in which the essence of the ingredient itself completely defines the taste.” Kaname folded her arms across her chest, her face set in an expression that clearly indicated that she was looking for applause or approval.
“I see.” Sousuke would normally had stopped there. But, adept at reading the ever changing battlefield, he was beginning to make use of that skill to read Kaname as well. “It is a well chosen dish then, and I am very fortunate to have someone as talented as you show it to me.”
Kaname beamed, but shut her smile down. She was in control there, not Sousuke.
“It often comes as a surprise to foreigners and Japanese alike to learn that tempura was not originally a Japanese dish; it actually owes its origins to the visiting Portuguese missionaries of the sixteenth century”
Kaname preened, glad to show Sousuke that SHE too had some historical knowledge.
“You are very clever, Kaname.” That had Kaname blow him a kiss. “Did you know that between 1499 and 1580, Portugal acquired an empire stretching from Brazil eastward to the Moluccas, reaching the zenith of its prosperity before entering upon a period of swift decline, ruled by Spanish Kings for nearly sixty years after that?” That earned Sousuke a very sour stare.
Kaname didn’t say anything.
Sousuke took note.
“Is it my turn again, Kaname?” Sousuke was ready to continue telling Kaname about his life over the past three years.
“I….. think….. that….. just….. was….. your….. turn…..” Kaname wasn’t truly angry. But, she was going with her feelings. She had decided that she was not going to walk on eggshells around Sousuke.
“AI see. One thing more, then. Are you aware of which spices originally came from one of the many islands of the Moluccas?” Sousuke had begun to surmise that Kaname’s competitive nature extended to more than the athletic field and the classroom. His own need to compete was usually limited to the battlefield; but, a Specialist is required to adapt.
“Why… would… I… care… about… that…. ?” Kaname was patting one hand with the end of the spoon.
“It is not a problem. I still consider you to be reasonably intelligent.” Sousuke did not smile. He continued to learn some things about himself around Kaname, and that was reason for amazement.
This was actually fun. Realizing that he saw something as fun left him feeling mixed emotions. What did fun mean to a soldier in the strictest sense? On the other hand, why should a soldier be different than everybody else?
That realization had been a long time coming.
“Excu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-se me….” Kaname spun the spoon in her hand like a baton.
“It is your turn, Kaname. What do you wish to tell me about Tempura, next?” Sousuke wore a perfectly innocent looking face.
“Yes. Back to Tempura. Sure. We have a lot of cooking to do. But out of kindness to you, I will let you tell me about the spices.” The spoon stopped spinning.” Kaname looked on expectantly.
“My apologies. I should not have bored you with information of such a useless nature. Please continue….” Sousuke nodded his head.
“It’s OK, Sousuke.” Kaname clenched her free hand into a fist.
Sousuke took not of Kaname’s appearance. He filed his newfound knowledge away.
“No. You are just being kind. It is one of the things that made me want to be near you in high school.”
“Oh.” Kaname smiled. Then her eyes narrowed again. “What were the spices, Sousuke?”
“You had asked me how I ended up at Tokyo University---”
“SOUSUKE!”
Sousuke closed his eyes. Opening them a second later, he pointed to a spice rack hanging from a long towel and utensil bar. “Nutmeg and Cloves.”
“Good boy!” Kaname put down the spoon and fluffed her hair. She looked at Sousuke a moment, smiled, then came over to lean against him again. “It’s OK Sousuke, I still consider you reasonably brave.” She bumped against him, then headed back to her cooking.
Kaname showed Sousuke the bowl she had been working with, after having described what ingredients were needed to make the batter.
“The batter shouldn't be mixed too thoroughly, but should be lumpy and full of air bubbles. To achieve this consistency the batter is made up in small batches immediately before it's used, and each batch is thrown away when it starts to settle. I‘ll remind you once again, making tempura is a delicate process, and lots of things can go wrong.” Kaname spoke in a loud confident voice, master of that that she surveyed.
“You mean like dating, Kaname? Sousuke asked, sounding inquisitive.
“Well… it….” Kaname wondered where that had come from.
“And like setting up perimeter charges with---” Sousuke never got to finish with his example.
“You better NOT make some strange otaku connection there. I don’t want to hear you comparing ME to some kind of mission or something!” Kaname stamped her foot. Not paying attention, she brought the batter-covered spoon down, missing the apron and leaving a steak of sticky food on her leg.
Her face was memorable.
“I see. My apologies.“ Sousuke liked seeing the different sides of Kaname. It was interesting. And it was a challenge. What could he do to see some more? Thinking about Kaname behavior that evening, he came up with a reasonable conjecture.
Sousuke hung his head and sighed.
“So, despite the actions that you took earlier, you do NOT want me to examine or comment upon your topography and terrain. Disappointing, but understandable.”
Kaname’s one hand twitched. She stared at the spoon with an accusatory glare.
“It would also be considered inappropriate for me to scout ahead, trying to determine your likes and dislikes. Regrettable, but beyond my control.”
The blue-haired girl narrowed her eyes. Sousuke was not going to get her too react. At least not without thinking first.
“No doubt you would be angry with me should I set attainable goals and make mission plans suitable for attaining those… uh… objectives.” Sousuke looked over at Kaname, who was busily tapping her toes.
He had fired his broadside. It was the best he could do with the armament he now had. It was time to find out how thick the walls of the other vessel were.
“Sousuke, I’m not strong enough to carry YOU all of the way to the hospital. But, please continue….” He was not about to get the better of her. If they were going to spar, he should have chosen a weapon he had an advantage with.
“Uh…I am finished.” Sousuke noted the smirk on Kaname’s face.
Another lesson learned.
“Now, when the vegetables and seafood are cut, washed, dried, and dipped in the batter to give them a thin, almost transparent coating, they're dropped one at a time into the oil… a combination of vegetable and sesame oil…. which must be constantly kept at exactly the right temperature. Finally, the tempura must be cooked for just the right amount of time, pulled out of the oil the precise moment it's done. If all goes well, the final product is perfect tempura -- crisp, golden brown, hot, and delicious.” She licked her lips.
You’re not ready for the major leagues yet, boy.
“The first rule of tempura is to get it while it's hot.” Kaname waited a moment then asked “Aren’t you going to ask if that’s like dating?
She struck a mildly provocative pose.
“Uh…” Sousuke’s face looked startled.
The opposing ship had superior weaponry.
Kaname chuckled. She did a slow turn.
Sit down. Next batter. No pun intended.
OK, let’s get serious now. I don’t want to stunt his growth or anything.
“Close your mouth, Sousuke. Show a little dignity. Hmmmpppfff!” She smiled. She was very pleased to see Sousuke give her a shy smile in return. “There are a few points that you have to remember:
“First, slice the vegetables thin so they can be fried in a short time.
“Second, you will need a deep, thick-walled pan or wok. It should be filled about 1 inch deep with oil.
“Third, deep-fry in small batches so you can maintain the temperature of the oil.
“Finally, tempura-fry vegetables at 340F and fish at 360F. OK. That’s enough for now. See one, do one, teach one. Let’s get busy!”
Kaname pushed Sousuke over towards the stove top, marveling once again about the firmness of his back. He must work-out more than he did before.
Together, the two of them cooked up the first food that they would eat together that night. It was a transcendent time for Kaname, even though she had cooked tempura many times before. She had never cooked it with Sousuke.
“OK, Sousuke. Let’s see if you remember what I told you. When should you take the tempura out?“
“When the batter gets SLIGHTLY brown. Vegetables usually take less than two to three minutes. The thinner the vegetable, the faster it cooks. For fish, the time to pull it out is when the batter turns very slightly brown. It is good idea to do trial frying in the beginning. You told me I should taste it and decide how long it will have to be fried. Once one gets the timing right, the rest is simple.” Sousuke looked to see if he was correct.
Kaname just stood there shaking her head, looking disappointed. Then abruptly, she smile and leaped on Sousuke, giving him a big bear hug.
The timing was right.
“Very good. I just may keep you after all?” Kaname smiled and gave Sousuke a quick kiss. Could she keep this going all night? She didn’t want it to stop.
Sousuke stiffened. It had Kaname’s throat go suddenly tight.
What was wrong?
“Sousuke?” Kaname looked concerned. Was her affectionate behavior too much for Sousuke? She stepped back.
“It’s alright, Kaname. Should I continue with my story?” Sousuke tightened his jaw and forced himself to relax.
“No, Sousuke.” Kaname voice was very soft. “Something I said bothered you. I would like to know what’s wrong. I hope you feel you can open up to me and tell me anything on you mind….. And everything in your heart.” She reached her hand out, but pulled it back.
She would give Sousuke his space.
“Yes. I must learn to do that. For you, Kaname. I…” Sousuke ran his hand through his hair, then looked into the blue-eyed girl’s eyes.
“My mission here may continue until I graduate. It might even go longer if Mithril can arrange for me to receive a position as a graduate student. But…” Sousuke’s eyes hardened. “They can pull me away at any time. For a brief mission. Or, forever. It’s just like before.”
There was anger in Sousuke’s voice. Anger and grief. Kaname knew what he must be feeling. He wanted something constant in his life, but not just the constant fighting. No doubt he felt obligated to Mithril. They had essentially saved his life, but he didn’t see risking his life repeatedly as sufficient payment in return.
Did he think he needed to dedicate his life to that organization as a result? Was he putting too much on his shoulders, thinking that the world as a whole was more important than one young man?
Was he worried about what that all would mean for her?
Probably, the big-hearted moron!
He was too upset now to ask him if he would ever consider leaving the service. No, now it was her duty and obligation to reassure him that she was willing to take the necessary risks, and to try and offer him a future with her, no matter how long it lasted.
“Yes, Sousuke. It’s a very heavy load you carry. If no one else has ever thanked you for your sacrifice, let me do so now.” Kaname pulled his arms around her and spoke in a deep emotion-filled voice. “Thank you. Thank you very much.”
Sousuke tightened his arms, almost to the point that Kaname couldn’t breath, crushed in his sudden embrace. He lowered his head against her, not saying a word in reply. The minutes grew longer, and his grip on her loosened bit by bit until he took his arms away.
“Thank YOU, Kaname. Every day, you show me something that no one else has. I wish….” Sousuke stopped, shaking his head.
“This isn’t fair for you. None of this is fair for you.” He slid out from in front of Kaname and walked over to the window, looking out into the darkened sky. “You deserve so much more,” he said.
Kaname didn’t know what to say. Telling him how she felt wouldn’t chase away his fears. There was no way to truthfully tell him that everything would always be wonderful.
“Sousuke, it’s not about what I deserve. It’s about who I want. No. It’s about who I need. I’m not just saying this to make you feel better. No one else has made me feel the way you have in these short days. Angry. Remorseful. Hurt. Excited. Hopeful. Happy. You need to understand that.” She walked over to Sousuke timidly, her determination and strength growing with each step.
“But… I will leave again some day. You will be hurt again, Kaname. I don’t wish to cause you that kind of pain again. I’m not as worried about how much it will hurt me. I’m a trained professional. I will do what must be done.” Sousuke absentmindedly counted the seconds between lightning flashes and the subsequent thunder.
“I know Sousuke. I have already asked myself if I’m willing to face that again. I am. I would rather live one week with you… one month… one year… and discover all the things I never had reason to discover before, than throw away those chances because I’m afraid of what happens when I let them go. And in that time, I can grow with you, learning the best way to comfort you, soldier.
Sousuke shuddered. He pulled away from Kaname, turned, and took a step away.
“Sousuke? What? I---”
“I am sorry, Kaname. Your words. Feeling like I was, it was a shock to hear them.” Sousuke’s eyes looked haunted.
Kaname needed to know why.
“Can you tell me about it?” She spoke very evenly, trying not to seem either too eager or too worried.
“Yes. But, it will be otaku….” Sousuke expelled a great rush of breath, then tried to relax.
“That’s OK, Sousuke. Just this once.” Kaname pulled out a chair and sat down. She looked at Sousuke… the other chair… and Sousuke again. He sat.
“It is a difficult tale for a Japanese man to tell. It is made more difficult by my being a soldier.” Sousuke took a sip of his now cold tea. “The Japanese Army used comfort stations extensively until the war ended in the Pacific in 1945. At those sites, they housed comfort women. That was the name they gave the women they….”
“Used for… uh… comfort.” Kaname bit her lip. She remembered reading something about new textbooks introduced into the junior high curriculum ignoring the plight of the women Sousuke was referencing.
“Yes. A majority of the women who provided…..uh… sexual release…. for Japanese soldiers were forcibly taken from their families. Family members were beaten or killed if they tried to rescue the women. The ages of the girls that were taken to the comfort houses ranged from 9.…. to 20. Some were married women with children.” Sousuke’s hand clenched into a fist. Even though he had been raised in conditions that could have caused him to feel otherwise, he respected the sanctity of individuals above anything else. That was a direct result of the horrors he had seen and the rights he never had.
“You don’t have to say any more, Sousuke.” Kaname felt for Sousuke, but was partly glad to have this opportunity. His reaction told her a great deal. Especially in a young man who might have expected a lot and looked to take a lot, given his talents and the rough thankless life he led.
“Do you know the fullness of the soldiers’ sins, Kaname? Once the women arrived at the comfort station they were forced to have sex with 20 to 30 men a day. If they resisted they were beaten or killed. A majority of the 80,000 to 200,000 comfort women were from Korea though others were recruited or kidnapped from China, Phillipines, Burma, and Indonesia. Many women became sterile from the repeated rapes. When the comfort women became useless because of their sickness, their milk was mixed with cyanide, their bodies taken to a cave and finally, the cave was blown up with a grenade.” Sousuke’s eyes were filled with pity and sadness.
Kaname’s respect for him continued to grow.
“I didn’t know that Sousuke.” Kaname wished she hadn’t heard those facts. She shuddered, thinking what it might have been like. It was easy to understand why the men in the Japanese Parliament did not want such shameful historical facts included in school books. It was no surprise that many Japanese refused to believe any such events took place.
“You can see why I behaved as I did. You said that you offered me comfort, even though you meant something else. And, I am a soldier. I apologize. It was wrong for me to overreact.” Sousuke sounded contrite.
Kaname placed her hand on Sousuke’s.
“Sousuke, you amaze me more every minute, do you know that?” Kaname smiled.
“Kaname? I know many facts. That should not---”
“That’s not what I meant, Sousuke. What would have happened if those soldiers were as good a man as you? I doubt many of them faced the things you have. They had an idea that they were entitled to take whatever they wanted. Women were not people to them. I don‘t think that you can totally blame Society for that.” Kaname drew aimless diagrams on Sousuke’s hand with one finger. “What worried you specifically, Sousuke. You’re not thinking of taking advantage of me against my will, are you?”
It was not something that she would joke about. She was reasonably certain Sousuke would never behave that way. But, a small part of her was still uncertain. With all that Sousuke had been through growing up, he was still a mystery in many ways.
“NO!!!”
“So?” Kaname tapped her finger on the fist that Sousuke had made, he opened his hand and she slid hers into it.
“The intentions may be different, but the end may be the same. I… uh… I am not implying….” Sousuke blushed.
“It would be alright if you did, Sosuske. I’m certain you realize what kind of things go on in a relationship between two consenting adults.” Kaname spoke very evenly and quietly, simply wanting to sound as if she were speaking a general fact. “We don’t need to talk about things that make you uncomfortable; but, I am quite capable of making my own decision… in everything. You need worry only about yourself. OK?”
“Uh…. ummm…. yes. What I meant to say is that I would hope to take comfort from you in the appropriate ways; but, when I had done so, I would move on again. I do not know if that would be using you unfairly.” Sousuke’s eyes held a great depth of concern for Kaname. At that moment, she had a great deal less doubt about her accidental admission to him earlier on.
“Sousuke, I want you to realize one thing. Don’t doubt it for a minute. I have already made up my own mind about our relationship. I know what I want. I am quite aware of what is at risk. I have chosen to accept whatever might happen. You need not worry a single bit about ANY of that. The only thing you need to do is follow your own heart.” Kaname’s voice was very stern. She wanted you make certain that she drove that point home.
“But----”
“I was hurt the first time, Sousuke. So were you. I wasn’t willing to admit my feelings then, and wasn’t prepared for what happen. That was my fault, not yours. Period. Understood?” Kaname’s eyes looked intense and unyielding.
Sousuke nodded his head.
“Good. We can talk about this later if you like. It might be better if you take some time to think things through.” Kaname would too, but had a good idea what her decision would be.
“Yes. You are very wise, Kaname. I am very fortunate.” Sousuke’s face was unreadable.
Kaname blushed.
“Just you remember that! Now, it’s your turn. You were going to tell me about how you came to Tokyo University.” Kaname stood up and walked over to the countertop. “I’ll start getting things ready for the next dish while you speak. It will be pan-fried batter cake that is topped with various ingredients. Okobomiyaki.”
“Kaname, isn’t Okonomiyaki a fast food, usually not suitable for cooking at home due to the amount of fire power required for cooking?” Sousuke raised an eyebrow.
“Firepower, Sousuke?” Kaname put her hands on her hips.
“Uh… amount and type of heat required?” Sousuke blinked repeatedly. Did he have to be that careful with his words?
“Yes, but I have a recipe that’s similar and suitable for small kitchens. It’s pretty simple, consisting of a bowl of pancake-like batter, plus a dish of diced vegetables and the main ingredient, such as shrimp or pork. Okonomiyaki" literally means ‘cook what you like,’ so people use all sorts of things.”
“Rolls… protein bars… and MREs?” Sousuke asked with a straight face. He had decided that he was not going to operate entirely in a No-Otaku zone. In battle, forces from different nations often need to compromise. In a personal relationship, the same thing would make sense.
Wouldn’t it?
Kaname didn’t answer immediately. After thinking, she said. “Not tonight. But if you want to try that, we will. You will eat it all, however. Every last bit. I hate waste.”
“Uh. It was just a question.” Sousuke accepted whatever small headway he had made.
“Mmmmm Hmmmm. Where was I? You developed a liking for pizza, right? I did too when I was in New York. Because the customers choose their own ingredients, Japanese sometimes compare okonomiyaki to pizza, although the similarity really ends there.” Kaname always thought that comparison was ridiculous. “The big thing to learn is when to flip the pancake and when to take it off the grill. Okonomiyaki takes longer to cook than you might expect, and the finished product doesn't hold together nearly as well as a breakfast pancake.”
“Yes, I am aware of that. The okonomiyaki style of cooking originated in Osaka and continues to be most popular there, although okonomiyaki-ya can be found throughout the country.” Sousuke nodded.
“How do you know that, Sousuke?” Kaname came tro understand that she had begun wanting to know where all of Sousuke’s eclectic bits of knowledge came from.
“From the time I spent in Osaka. It is an appropriate coincidence, as it ties in with my true and fabricated educational experience.” Sousuke went on to describe what he had done since leaving Tokyo.
Mithril had arranged for tutors, as some members felt that Sousuke would be a more valuable asset if he could be placed in a college environment when needed. The research community had begun working on a number of far-reaching technologies, with and without covert infusion of Black Technology. Some of the scientists were more worthy of a bodyguard than Whispered candidates were. Secrets from the Whispered were often fragmentary, promising something but not delivering on their true potential without some other clue. The above-board technological advances at some institutes were more fruitful.
Some were potentially more destabilizing.
“My high school transcripts were fabricated, so that I could get into Osaka University.” Sousuke looked a little sheepish. Kaname wondered why.
“Fabricated? You mean faked. Sousuke!” Kaname looked peeved.
“It was not my decision, Kaname. And, it served a purpose.” Sousuke did not wilt under the glare in Kaname’s eyes. “My performance there, and at the University, has been very good in any case.”
“Sousuke?” Kaname’s voice was too quiet and emotionless for her boyfriend’s liking.
“Yes?” Sousuke braced himself. If Kaname’s reactions were similar to those she had exhibited in the past, it was the calm before the storm.
“Did they change your transcript at Jindai High School?” Kaname’s voice was still very quiet.
“Affirmative.”
“I see.” Kaname put down the utensils that she had been using. “And just how much did they improve your grades, Sousuke?”
“Uh….” Soususke began to sweat. In the past, telling the truth would have gotten him a halisen between the eyes. “I do not believe the exact details would be elucidating.”
Kaname knew what that meant. “Better than my grades, Sousuke? The ones I worked…… hard…… to achieve?”
“Yes.” Sousuke swallowed.
What was Kaname going to do?
“Oh. Good. It’s nice having a smart boyfriend!” She turned back to her work.
Sousuke sighed. It was premature.
Kaname flipped a spoonful of batter onto his apron.
“Hmmmpppfff! At least I got a diploma!” She wasn’t really angry, though she was severely miffed.
Take that, cheater!
Big jerk!
“I am happy for you, Kaname. I would have liked to earn mine.” Sousuke was being honest. He hadn’t been a great student, but he had been improving with Kaname’s help.
“But you didn’t. Too bad. It’s not a problem.” Kaname walked over with a rag and cleaned off Sousuke’s apron. She then wiped his already clean cheeks with the sloppy cloth. “Ooops!” Smiling at Sousuke’s look, she cleaned him well with a clean paper towel.
“I also would have liked to earn the special Academic Achievement Award that they presented me with.” Sousuke walked across the kitchen.
The loud clatter of a bowel falling into the sink could be heard.
When Kaname turned and saw where Sousuke was, she scowled.
“Can I continue while you start on another bowl of batter?” Sousuke asked calmly.
“Did they give you a Nobel Prize, too?” Kaname tossed her hair. “Just wondering….” Kaname no longer looked displeased.
“Yes. In Kitchen Survival.”
Kaname smiled.
Good comeback Sousuke.
There may be some hope for you yet.
Sousuke went on to describe his days at the college, but left out all references to his work.
“Sousuke? Were you there as a Security Specialist, as you are here?” Kaname thought that was the most likely answer.
“Negative.”
“Did you help guard one of the scientists?” She nodded her head. That was also a logical answer.
“No.”
“It wasn’t another Whispered girl, was it?” Kaname bit her lip. If it was, she wasn’t certain she wanted to hear about it. That was silly, she knew. But, she couldn‘t help herself.
“No, not a Whispered girl, Kaname.”
Was that a slight catch in his voice?
Yes.
Could that mean….
“Was it a girl, Sousuke?” Kaname made certain to put the bowel out of reach. She began to wonder about her reactions.
“Affirmative. She was the daughter of the lead scientist at the Institute of Science and Industrial Research. He was pretty well guarded in his facilities, but his daughter was a colleg student at the undergraduate campus. That was where I was enrolled. I was in each class that she took. Her safety was of paramount importance, so that she could not be kidnapped and held as a bargaining chip. The work that the scientist was doing was extremely provocative.” Sousume walked over and took another sip of tea.
“Was she provocative, Sousuke?” Kaname’s face looked a little odd. That had slipped out without thinking. She shouldn’t be jealous, after all. She had gone out with numerous boys. Still….
“Kaname?”
“Never mind.” Time to pull herself together. She was Kaname Chidori after all.
“Yes. Well. Mithril had signed on as a cooperative partner with the scientist, secretly of course. His area of expertise was in Nanotechnology---or more specifically, in an area known as molecular manufacturing.” Sousuke had done a lot of research into that area, and some of the facts he found were potentially worrisome, possibly even more so than the cold fusion technology he was guarding now. By all rights, he should still be in Osaka, if the scientist had not died from a carcinoma that had not been suspected until shortly before his death.
“Was she pretty, Sousuke? This girl you were protecting.” Ooooh. Get a grip girl. Think nan… o… technology….
“Ummm. Yes. I believe she was. Is there a reason that is important?” Sousuke watched Kaname’s face, taking close notice of the contortions it went though. Interesting. Informative, too.
“”Uh… no. Why was Nanotechnology so important that you were with a… in Osaka instead of piloting Arbalest?”
“The ARX-7 had destroyed in an act of sabotage by traitors in league with an opposing group.” Sousuke felt like spitting. After the episode where Gauron took control of Dana. that kind of thing should not have happened again. “As the newer model of Arm Slave with Lambda Driver technology was not yet available, I was no longer a unique commodity.” Sousuke stopped and looked at Kaname.
“I had thought about asking for a transfer to Tokyo University, as I would have been useful in the start up of the security plans for the Applied Research lab. I did not ask for that, as I knew that you did not wish to see or speak to me.” Sousuke clenched his jaw.
Kaname looked shocked. Her mind immediately wondered what nearly two years might have been like if Sousuke had been her boyfriend all along. Maybe it was better this way. She was more mature, and had seen and done things away from him. He had changed in many ways too.
How much of it was due to the things he had done over the past three years?
“The scientist was perfecting means by which matter can be manipulated on an atom-by-atom or molecule-by-molecule basis, in order to attain any desired configuration. This was a total paradigm shift. Most contemporary industrial methods are top-down technologies… they take larger objects and make them smaller.”
“I see. I should probably get back to work as I listen. By the way, was the girl smaller or larger than me, Sousuke?” Kaname’s voice sounded calm and conversational. The term 'top-down' had made her twitch. She closed her eyes tight and said a short mantra.
“She was shorter. Top-down type of processes are somewhat of an aberration in the natural order of things---”
“I meant, was she more or less curvaceous, Sousuke.” Kaname busied herself with the new batch of batter. Well, there was no fighting it. She might as well get it out of her system.
“Uh…she was less ample in her… uh… assets, Kaname. But…” Sousuke grimaced. He still had trouble knowing when to stop. “As I was saying. Most products of living organisms… not to mention the organisms themselves…. are made very differently.”
“Sousuke, how was she made differently?” Kaname put the bowl down and looked at Sousuke. At the very least, this ought to give him the opportunity to speak about certain things with more confidence. Especially things that might make her less than ecstatic.
“Is there a specific thing you are after, Kaname? It may save you a number of questions.” Sousuke belived he understood what Kaname wanted to know. It was not relevant to his topic of discussion, but it was probably of great significance to her.
Should that make him feel uncomfortable, or flattered?
Kaname simply stood there tapping her foot. Faster than before.
“She was an apple blossom, Kaname. You are a cherry blossom. I prefer the later.” That answer ought to win points based on his stated preference alone. And, it ought to have her wondering exactly what he meant. “Human organs are created from tiny organelles and cells, themselves a type of molecular machine. A human brain… a coral reef…. even a mighty redwood tree… all of those and similar things progress from smaller components to the larger finished item.”
“That’s very interesting, Sousuke. I hadn’t heard anything about that science before. Were she and you an item. Did you have a similar relationship with her as you did with me? Or something more?” Kaname’s eyes looked slightly troubled for a moment.
“She was not my girlfriend Kaname. She never grew to be on continued friendly terms with me. We were not intimate. We did not share an apartment. We did not have adventures together. I did not miss her when I parted company.” Sousuke needed to mind his own control. For some unknwon reason, he was growing just the slightest bit exasperated.
“OK, OK. You don’t need all that detail. I don’t know why you sound so defensive….” Kaname busied herself by checking out the floor tiles.
Sousuke just shook his head. It took a bit before he found his tongue again. In the interim, Kaname smiled and asked. “Is there more…on Nanotechnology, I mean? There must be, knowing you.”
“It appears you do not wish to hear it.” Sousuke had decided Kaname that he was not an easy opponent in this type of endeavor. “I would rather talk about the girl now.”
“What?” Kaname flinched.
“Yes, she was very kind, and a quiet soul. I never needed to worry about being struck or thrown in front of cars.” Sousuke paused for effect. He had judged the chance of being struck to be of very low probability. Additionally, there were no taxi cabs in the kitchen area.
“Ok. I see. Well, don’t stop NOW, Sousuke.” Kaname knew exactly what Sousuke was doing. She really enjoyed seeing his continued attempts at meeting her on her own ground. She would find some way to get him back, never fear.
It was her responsibility.
Sousuke needed training, whether he knew it or not.
“The things I had learned elsewhere had come to fruit there. I never once blew up her correspondence… forgot her homework… placed her in life or death situations… or brought infectious agents into her presence.” Sousuke looked over at Kaname. She looked like she was in control. “I also never told her that she was beautiful.” He looked again. Kaname had let a quick smile slip. “But, she did touch her lips to mine on one occasion.”
“What?” Kaname’s face grew concerned, then went back to normal.
“But I digress. The human body begins as a single cell…..the fertilized ovum we learned about in high school. Yet, a mature human being consists of approximately 75 trillion cells, spread across an amazing spectrums of types. The potential of molecular manufacturing through Nanotechnology is comparable. If the technology reaches full fruit, some processes could result in the equivalent of growing Da Dannan or an army of Arm Slaves from the mechanical equivalent of a single fertilized egg.”
“Humpty Dumpty was an egg, Sousuke.” Kaname smiled a wicked smile. Mention some kiss would he. It was probably platonic.
“Kaname, that is a child’s story. Humpty Dumpty was a cannon from the English Civil War of1642-49. It was placed at St Mary at the Walls church and caused considerable damage to Lord Fairfax's attacking forces before a concentration of Roundhead fire onto the church brought the gun tumbling down.” Sousuke decide that he would try something Kaname was fond of. “Hmmmpppfff!!!” he turned to pay attention to something across the room.
For a moment, Kaname stood there staring. Then she smiled and ran at Sousuke. She had a batter-filled spoon in her hand.
That’s it, you’re going down!
The kitchen, arranged as it was, allowed Kaname to approach Sousuke quickly. His back turned when she started, he reacted instinctively.
A lightning quick step to the side was followed by a shoulder turn and lean.
Grabbing Kaname, he had her airborne before he realized what was going on.
Almost instantaneously, he changed his move, grabbing the spoon with one hand and Kaname with the other. Cradling her through the air, he brought her around his body and set her down gently on her feet.
“I apologize,” he said, looking into her frightened eyes. She still wasn’t certain what had just happened. “I reacted automatically. Part of me knew that you were the only one within reach, so I adjusted accordingly.”
Her heart racing, Kaname looked at Sousuke, then looked at the spoon. Not a drop of food had been spilled. Sousuke’s level of body control had been amazing. She was rattled, but not hurt.
Still, she was forced to wonder. Was Sousuke always on a hair-trigger? Was that how he had survived for so many years, placed in situations as a child that many adults had no chance of living through? Could he ever adjust his reactions around her?
Did all that mean she couldn’t be playful in some ways?
More importantly, did it mean that she wasn’t entirely safe around him?
“You look frightened, Kaname.” Sousuke himself was concerned. “Are you worried that I may be like the wild animals they always talk about?”
“Animals?” Kaname took the spoon when Sousuke offered it to her.
“People often think that lion or tiger cubs are very pleasant and wish them for pets. However, even trained well and raised with love and attention, they can revert back to their animal instincts at any time, even if they are placid and well-behaved for a majority of their lives.” By the manner of his statement, Kaname could tell that Sousuke had thought on this point before. “The same goes for other animals that have not been domesticated... or even some domesticated animals raised in difficult environments.”
“Should I be afraid, Sousuke?” Kaname new she was worried about one thing, now. She was worried how Sousuke might answer. “Is it something you can change? I can’t be sure that I might not spontaneously do something like that again when we’re together.” She ran one hand slowly up and down her leg.
“I need to adapt my mindset. I have done a similar thing before, in high school. You often struck swiftly and without warning with your halisen, but I did not react in that manner. I was acting in a new manner today, and I was distracted. It is inexcusable…… but correctable.” Sousuke sighed. “Perhaps I should not attempt to be something I’m not....”
Kaname swallowed and took a deep breath. She was still a little concerned, but thought she understood what Sousuke meant. “I would not like that Sousuke. Maybe we just need to take things slowly, so you have an opportunity to adjust a little at a time. I really like the way you’ve changed over the years. Very much. I also like what I’ve seen over the past day or so.”
“I do not wish to cause you even the slightest discomfort, Kaname. It may be better if----“
“SOUSUKE!” Kaname put the spoon down. Placing her hands on Sousuke, she shook him. “If you’re scared, fine. But I will handle this. There’s something special inside of you that has never had a chance to fully develop. Do you understand? You owe it to yourself to see what you can be.” Kaname shook Sousuke again, then leaned up against him. “If you really want me to be as happy as I can, you also owe it to me.”
Kaname knew that last statement was a little selfish. But, she also thought that it might spur Sousuke to do as she said.
“I see. I....”
“Now would be a very good time to hug me, Mister.” Kaname burrowed her head into his shoulder.
“Affirmative.” Sousuke wrapped his arms gingerly around Kaname.
“I’m NOT going to break, Sousuke.” There was tender, and there was overly timid. The first was great. They should be past the other by now, no matter what.
Sousuke tightened his arms and let out a long sigh. “No. You are very strong Kaname. Perhaps you will need to be.”
Kaname felt like shaking Sousuke again. But, she didn’t want that to lose its effectiveness.
“Sousuke, do not go looking for faults. That’s my job.” Kaname squeezed him hard then, wriggled out from his embrace. She smiled up at him. “Now, open up your mouth.” Kaname reached for the batter-filled spoon.
“Kaname?”
“Just do it, Sousuke!” She held the spoon up before his mouth. “Let me know how the batter tastes to you. Get an idea of how it should taste, because it is perfect.” She smiled.
Sousuke tasted the batter. “It is not unpleasant, Kaname.”
Kaname frowned.
“It tastes good, Kaname.”
Kaname smiled. “See. We can make these changes a little at a time. You’re going to have to be strong too, soldier.” She chuckled.
“Uh....”
“You do want to change some for me, don’t you Souske?” Kaname fluttered her eyelashes and pouted.
Sousuke stared a moment. Then, he nodded his head. “Yes. Will you do the same, Kaname?” It was a question that Sousuke felt a need to ask.
“Maybe,” Kanamae said impishly. “For me, it’s optional.” She stroked his arm once, then headed back to cooking. “Now, if you’re finished obsessing over that girl... whatever her name was... why don’t you tell me why Mithril was so worried about Nanotechnology.”
“If I must. It was pleasant speaking about her.” Sousuke didn’t crack a smile.
“Don’t push your luck, Mister.” Kaname grinned. “I’m not always this forgiving.”
“I see. I should begin then, while I still can. Nanotechnology can be used to create materials fifty times stronger than anything known while making it lighter at the same time. In a medical fields it may some day allow a cure for cancer and other diseases. But, like many powerful technologies, it poses significant risks, but in terns of accidents and willful abuse. Nano-devices can be programmed to be self-replicating, or can be made to have only a single one time effect. The possibility of replicators going “wild” and potentially devouring anything in their paths is not something to be taken lightly, however. The scientists referred to that as the ‘gray goo problem.’ Military Nanotechnology offers enormous potential for mischief, Kaname.”
“Why don’t they just ban it then?” Kaname shook her head. The world was full of enough scary things as it was.
“Such actions stand little chance of success. Despite expensive efforts, illicit drug manufacturing cannot be entirely eliminated. Larger nations had little success in controlling nuclear research in Iraq and North Korea. Even more telling was the Russian response regarding biological warfare. An international convention banned such research. The Soviets were a signatory, yet embarked on a huge program. Why?” Sousuke looked to see if Kaname could reason that out.
“Ummmmmmmmm…. If the other countries truly intended to honor the treaty, they would have a big advantage?” Kaname called Sousuke over to the stove to watch her finish up work on the large savory pancakes.
“Very good. I may just keep you around.” Sousuke did not look worried when he said that. Kaname smiled, noticing that. “Recalling that disturbing discovery, no one would risk being surpassed in Nanotechnology. History does often repeat itself.”
Kaname sniffed. “And you are going to tell me how, Sosusuke?” She then grinned. He was talking to her. He was in Tokyo. He was in her apartment. He was in an apron. She could be a little generous.
“Shouldn’t I, Kaname?” Sousuke did wonder at times if his area of expertise would have no positive effect on a ‘normal woman.’
“I wouldn’t let anyone else tell me those things. With you, it’s OK. If necessary, I can even make it mandatory.” Kaname poured the batter and other ingredients on a hot griddle.
“Understood.” Sousuke felt relieved. He found himself wanting Kaname to appreciate him for who and what he was. “In 1875, Great Britain was the world’s only superpower. High Explosives were a new technology, and its ingerent dangers led the nation to pass an act that barred all private experimentation in explosives and rocketry. The result years later was that German V-2 and V-1 weapons bombarded London and other cities rather than the other way around.”
Sousuke went on to tell more about his duties in Osaka, until Kaname asked him to flip the okonomiyaki for her.
“How did you like college when you were there?” Kaname debated which food to work on next. The grill was still extremely hot, so she decided to choose accordingly.
“It was not an unpleasant assignment. There were no attacks. The girl was never in any danger in retrospect. I was able to learn things.” Sousuke did not sound enthusiastic.
“Oh. How about here at Tokyo University?” Kaname unwrapped a package of fresh eel.
“I am enjoying the schoolwork more. The guard duty had been more hazardous, as you well know. There are….” Sousuke stopped, looking at Kaname as she faced away from him. “There are other things that I prefer too.”
“Thank you, Sousuke.” Kaname hoped that he had been speaking about her. “Things will only get better. I promise. Just wait and see. OK. Next. Grilled unagi. A delicacy. Popular not only for its flavor but also for its stamina-giving properties.”
“My stamina is already very good, Kaname.”
Kaname swallowed. Her reaction to Sousuke’s comment made her blush. She knew what the big idiot meant. Still….
“Are you OK, Kaname?” Sousuke had been watching her face.
“Good unagi combines a rich flavor with an appetizing texture, crisp on the outside but tender on the inside.” Kaname put her hand over her mouth and coughed. “The cooking process is what makes the eel both crisp and tender: I n a reastaurant, eels are first grilled over hot charcoals, then steamed to remove excess fat, then seasoned with a sweetish sauce and grilled a second time. We will do our best with whatever we have.“ She coughed again, still feeling as if she had swallowed something the wrong way.
“Yes. I always attempt to do that, Kaname. I will do that with you as well.“
Kaname felt herself grow warm in the face. She was glad that Sousuke could not read her thoughts.
Just what had brought all this on?
While Kaname helped Sousuke do the grilling, the young soldier told her about his first few months on the Komaba campus. He described his courses… his arrangement with the researchers… and the things he did on his own time. Kaname paid particular attention to the latter, wanting to find things they might do together that would make him more comfortable.
Sousuke also gave a detailed history of his ‘harem.’ Kaname was less pleased to hear all that, but couldn’t help smiling and laughing at times. Poor Sousuke. He had sounded like he was surrounded by an enemy he couldn’t fight back against. His admission that he had found a number of the girls attractive, and had been attempted to accept their offer of a date, had earned him an eel down the back of his shirt.
“It was… difficult seeing you Kaname…. when I did not let you see me.” Sousuke’s face went stiff when he admitted that. “It was especially hard in some ways… because those other girls were so… uh… interested….” Kaname gave him a brief hug, then removed the eel for him. Helping him pull his shirt tail out had her trembling for a brief moment.
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that any more. Back to unagi. As for the eels themselves, the best are caught wild rather than bred in eel farms. Common wisdom is that the ideal size between 12-20 inches.”
“I see then. I will remember that. Size matters. Correct?” Sousuke looked at Kaname, wondering why her eyes went wide
“Well... they say... but...” Kaname had trouble getting the first word out.
“Kaname. Your low blood pressure. You are not having that circulatory problem again?” Sousuke had noticed Kaname turning red again.
“NO!” Kaname winced. “No, Sousuke. I’m doing fine. Thank you. While the eel cooks. Let’s work on some Okinawan style cooking.” She smiled. It was her time to show her knowledge again. “It was only 100 years ago that the kingdom of Okinawa was incorporated into Japan, and the southern islands still maintain their own distinctive culture, language and cuisine. Okinawan cooking tends toward stronger and spicier flavors than Japanese food, and is more heavily influenced by Chinese cooking styles. Pork is a very important ingredient, and every part of the pig is used, from pig's feet and pig's ears to pork tripe. Other ingredients include local seafood and native tropical vegetables and fruits.”
Sousuke opened his mouth to speak, but stopped.
“Something to tell me about Okinawa, Sousuke?” Kaname raised an eyebrow.
“Another day, Kaname.” Sousuke let Kaname have her moment.
“Good. Now, could I interest you in some Pig’s ear or tripe?” Kaname was kidding. She didn’t have either of those, and was not fond of either.
“It is not a problem. I will eat whatever you have. I have consumed much worse.” Sousuke had not realized that Kaname had been joking.
“What do you mean, Sousuke? I hope you’re not talking about my cooking in high school!” Kaname narrowed her eyes.
“Negative.” Sousuke went on to tell Kaname about his childhood, from the days he ate slop in an orphanage in Kabul… through the days he would eat garbage, rats, dogs, and anything he could steal as a street urchin… to the days he was treated more like an enemy than a fighter during his early days with the mujahadeen. He went on to describe many of the things that he had eaten during long missions that had gone wrong.
Kaname went from shock to horror to disgust to shock again, more times than she could count. Souuske had never gone into this much detail about his early life before. He sorrow for him grew, but so did her admiration.
To have survived all that….
“Sousuke, was that why you liked my cooking at Jindai?” Kaname reached for another eel.
“No Kaname. Most of your meals were far superior to those things.” Sousuke didn’t catch his slip.
“Most of them. I see.” Kaname scowled. Then, smiling, she backed into Sousuke hard, causing him to garb onto her in order not to lose balance and fall. “Well, I’ll try to do better now. But, if you EVER bring any of that stuff into my kitchen, you will be leaving through that window. Do you hear me?”
“Affirmative.” Tentatively, Sousuke shifted his grasp. He wrapped his arms loosely around Kaname’s abdomen, a hair’s breadth beneath her breasts. When she moved, he made contact with them briefly.
“I… I will make some Okinawan chanpurunow… basically a stir-fry using some combination of tofu, leeks and eggs plus other ingredients.” Kaname was well aware where Sousuke’s hands rested.
“Tofu was invented over 2,000 years ago in China. Did you know that, Kaname?”
“No, Sousuke.” Kaname was content just to lean back against Sousuke, glad he had initiated the action, even if his first move had been out of necessity. She wondered if that was why she felt a bit shy. He was essentially in control, not her. She didn’t curtail his exposition on the ubiquitous foodstuff.
“It was supposedly brought to Japan in the Nara period by a Japanese delegation that had ventured to China to study Buddhism but instead came home with a shipload of hearty Chinese recipes. Tofu's earliest appearances in Japanese history were as Buddhist offerings, but tofu was soon discovered to be a valuable source of protein for the vegetarian clergy. It is one of the healthiest substances known to man and can provide a complete food package. Tofu is derived from soybean milk. That milk is the best milk food in terms of nutrition, even if compared to a mother’s milk.”
Kaname closed her eyes. Those last words had her fantasizing. He was very tempted to move Sousuke’s hands a bit higher, but was certain that would make him feel uneasy and uncomfortable. That was OK, She was just glad she was feeling what she was, despite all the things they had been through during their day of see-sawing emotions. Nothing that Sousuke had told her had made her feel any less strongly for him. If anything, they made her simple hormonally charged daydreams seem like something she truly wished for.
It was good for her to be patient, too. She wanted their bond to grow little by little, so it was strong and unbreakable. Anticipation wouldn‘t hurt her. It would probably make things all the more sweeter when the day came.
“Tofu is the Japanese way of pronouncing the Chinese dòu fu which, surprisingly, means rotten beans.” Sousuke finished with what he wanted to say.
“Great way to spark the appetite,” Kaname groused. She wasn’t only speaking about dinner.
They finished their cooking together, putting some of the food aside for bento lunches at school the next day. Each of them found things to talk about the time they had spent apart. Sousuke seemed to grow more comfortable around her and her open feelings. Kaname couldn’t have asked for more.
After dinner, it would be time for her to talk about her most difficult feelings and memories from the past.
But with Sousuke there, she'd be alright.
)
