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[FIC] The Book (part 2)

Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:17 pm
by dd
I expect you all to pay attention.“

The teacher looked around the room, meeting the gaze of every student in class. His eyes narrowed when he looked at Sousuke.

“Mr. Sagara, you appear much more restrained this morning. Not only that, you already have your book out and are reading ahead. Excellent. It appears that our new arrangement is working out already.”

There was a low level grumbling in the class. Some one coughed, hiding the words ‘brown noser’ in the sound.

“I am gratified that you think so, Sir.” Sousuke swallowed hard. His desk was in the rear corner, away from everyone else’s. Today, that forced isolation was actually working to his advantage. He was not reading Chemistry. If anyone were to get a look at his text, there would be a commotion.

“You probably should have put his desk on the balcony. Maybe the flagpole.” Kaname’s snide remark made it quite clear that she was still in a snit. “Siberia would be better.” She added ‘big jerk’ under her breath.

“Really?” The teacher asked. “Mr. Sagara is minding his manners. You on the other hand have spoken rudely and out of turn. “He smiled, tapping his pointer against the side of his leg. A small man, he had an inferiority complex, except when he smacked his pointer about. He was a god here. “But, that has actually served a purpose. You’ll be my helper today.”

“Huh?” Kaname spared Sousuke an angry glance. This was his fault. And what was that big idiot doing, pouring over his book like that. Wait a minute. Book? The same book? Just what was going on?

“I will ask you some questions. If you answer right, it will reinforce the things that you and the others should have read. If you answer wrong, my correcting you will serve the same purpose.” The teacher leaned against his desk. “So Miss Chidori, what is an acid?”

“An acid is…“ Kaname searched her memory. She had just read that last night. It was simple. “A substance which…”

“An acid is a substance that when added to water produces hydrogen ions.” The teacher jumped in before Kaname was done. “I would have thought that someone who was a Class Representative would want to set a better example for her classmates.”

Kaname clenched her fists, but kept her mouth shut. This was Sousuke’s fault. Oooooh!

“OK. Let’s try again. A Student Council Vice President will no doubt know this one. What is a base?” The teacher smacked his pointer against a desk. One girl jerked in her seat. “I do not mean those things you run around in softball, when you should be spending your time studying.”

“A base is a substance…” Kaname tried to rush her answer in, to no avail.

“A base is a substance which when added to water produces hydroxide ions.” The teacher said. “You may want to write that down.” That remark had a number of students snickering, The teacher smiled and folded his arms across his chest.

“At least some big idiot didn’t mention military bases!” Kaname said crossly. She put her hand over her mouth. She had blurted something rudely again. Seeing the teacher scowl, and then scribble something down in his lesson book, she turned back and stared at Sousuke. No doubt the teacher was going to give her extra homework. That otaku numbskull wasn’t even watching her closely like he usually did. What good was a mean glare if he wasn’t paying attention. That damn book!

Sousuke was too bust reading about chemical substances of a different sort. He swallowed hard, wondering just how much of this would prove useful. He could read this hear without feeling too uncomfortable. There was no way he could turn to those other pages again, not with Kaname in his field of vision.

KARMA SUTRA: LOVE POTIONS

The ways of enlarging the lingam must be now related.

When a man wishes to enlarge his lingam, he should rub it with the bristles of certain insects that live in trees, and then, after rubbing it for ten nights with oils, he should again rub it with the bristles as before. By continuing to do this a swelling will be gradually produced in the lingam, and he should then lie on a cot, and cause his lingam to hang down through a hole in the cot. After this he should take away all the pain from the swelling by using cool concoctions. The swelling, which is called 'Suka', and is often brought about among the people of the Dravida country, lasts for life.



“Uhhh.” He closed his mouth quickly. Luckily no one was paying attention to him at the moment, not even Kaname. She was busy helping the class again. It was amzing how generous a person she was.

He did not think that any pharmacies in Tokyo would carry insect bristles. That was alright. He was not about to utilize any of these methods. He was not like the crew members aboard De Danaan who would spend inordinate amount of monies o things they saw in magazine ads or infomercials. He also was not going to cut a hole in his cot.

If the lingam is rubbed with the following things, the plant physalis flexuosa, the shavara-kandaka plant, the jalasuka plant, the fruit of the egg plant, the butter of a she buffalo, the hastri-charma plant, and the juice of the vajrarasa plant, a swelling lasting for one month will be produced.

By rubbing it with oil boiled in the concoctions of the above things, the same effect will be produced, but lasting for six months.

The enlargement of the lingam is also effected by rubbing it or moistening it with oil boiled on a moderate fire along with the seeds of the pomegranate, and the cucumber, the juices of the valuka plant, the hastri-charma plant, and the eggplant.


No. None of that was necessary. It was just as well. He was not much of a cook. Melissa said that he could probably burn water. That was an exaggeration. He was certain of it. He could only imagine what might happen if he asked Kaname to cook him up oil boiled with pomegranate, cucumber, eggplant, and Indian herbs. His hand twitched. He could imagine her response if he told her the reason why. Perhaps if he said it was a science experiment. No! Absolutely not. This was not necessary.

The miscellaneous experiments and recipes (love potions) are as follows:

If a man mixes the powder of the milk hedge plant, and the Kantaka plant with the excrement of a monkey and the powdered root of the lanjalika plant, and throws this mixture on a woman, she will not love anybody else afterwards.


That sounded like black magic or wishful thinking. It did not matter. If he threw anything on Kaname, she would throw him out a window. Also, with his luck, he would probably hit Mizuki. No. It could be worse. What if he hit Tsubaki Issei. Afetr that one episode, Kaname actually thought that he and the Karate Club leader were gay, when it was actually Mizuki who like the martial artist.

If a man thickens the juice of the fruits of the cassia fistula, and the eugenia jambolana by mixing them with the powder of the soma plant, the vernonia anthelmintica, the eclipta prostata, and the lohopa-jihirka, and applies this composition to the yoni of a woman, and then has sexual intercourse with her, his love for her will be destroyed.

The same effect is produced if a man has connection with a woman who has bathed in the buttermilk of a she-buffalo mixed with the powders of the gopalika plant, the banu-padika plant and the yellow amaranth.


Those were a bit drastic. But, it was an issue to consider tangentially. A man could fall in love with a woman who might not care about him. That sounded very unfortunate. Likewise, a person might change his or her feelings. That might be regrettable for the other person. It was difficult enough getting through all this, assuming that things would work out well. Did he really wish to put himself at risk? If his newfound feelings meant what he thought they did, the answer would most likely be ‘yes’.

“Alright Miss Chidori, a chance to redeem yourself in front of your classmates. What color with acid turn litmus?” The teacher raised one eyebrow.

“Red,” Kaname answered.

“That is correct.” The teacher looked around the room. “Who gave her the answer? Miss Tokiwa?” He grinned when he saw Kyouko sit up quickly, a shocked look on her face. “Well, let’s answer this one on your own, Miss Chidori. How do acids taste?”

“Sour,” Kaname said, with a slight shake of her head.

“Also correct,” the teacher replied. “But, as one who should look out for the welfare of her fellow students, you should have prefaced things by saying ‘DO NOT TASTE ACIDS IN THE LABORATORY!’

“I…” Kaname looked incredulous. This joker was really getting on her case, but there was absolutely nothing she could do. To him. Sousuke was a different story.

“No, too late. I have already taken the responsible tack for you. Let’s speed things up a bit. You seem to be slowing the class down.” The teacher smacked his pointer down again, knocking away a doodle a boy was sketching. “How do bases feel? What color do they turn litmus? How do they taste? Should I speak slower?”

“Soapy or slippery… blue… sour…” Kaname spoke quickly. “And no one should taste them in the laboratory!”

“No need to answer so quickly. There is no need to show off for the others. That kind of things does not impress me.” The teacher laced his fingers together and cracked his knuckles. “No one here is stupid enough to taste dangerous chemicals, I hope.” He looked at the back of the room. “Mr. Sagara, is Miss Chidori foolish enough to do something like that?”

Sousuke didn’t answer. He was too busy reading. His usually sharp senses had been nullified fully for the first time.

An ointment made of the fruit of the asteracantha longifolia (kokilaksha) will contract the yoni of a Hastini or Elephant woman, and this contraction lasts for one night.

An ointment made by pounding the roots of the nelumbrium speciosum, and of the blue lotus, and the powder of the plant physalis flexuosa mixed with ghee and honey, will enlarge the yoni of the Mrigi or Deer woman.



“Ummm… errr…” Sousuke bit on the side of his cheek. Must be quiet! He was still having troubles with the concept of a yomi, much less the notion of one contracting or enlarging. He would not even think of it in its Japanese or English name at this point. And those illustrations…

“It seems that Mr. Sagara is too polite to answer,” the teacher said. A larger number of students laughed this time. Kaname felt her face tightening up. “No matter. Miss Chidori, I would like you to take this chalk, walk over to the blackboard, and write the rather simplistic equation for water dissociation.”

Kaname did as she was instructed, writing H20 (liquid) goes to H+ (aqueous) and H-(aqueous).

“My my my. Even a blind hog finds a truffle sometimes. While we are on such a favorable roll, please write down the Equilibrium Constant.”

Again, Kaname did as asked, writing Kw equals (H+)(OH-)/(H2O).

“Remarkable. You may make up for your earlier stumbles.” The teacher clapped his hands together silently, and then nodded to the class. Everyone except Kaname’s friends clapped, enjoying the whole game. Kaname was adding up demerits for Sousuke. He would be in her detention center for years if this kept up.

An ointment made of the fruit of the emblica myrabolans soaked in the milky juice of the milk hedge plant, of the soma plant, the calotropis gigantea, and the juice of the fruit of the vernonia anthelmintica, will make the hair white.

Which hair? That thought had him breaking out into a heavier sweat. Perhaps it meant the hair on the head. However, that was not useful. He did not want to think if he told Kaname how to turn her hair white. Once he had mistakenly asked her if she could cook him Spaghetti Carbonara, as he had discovered a fondness for it. Captain Testarossa had cooked it for him. His request had not gone over well. He did not care to remember the particulars. He could picture a similar occurrence taking place if Kaname mistakenly thought that he wanted her hair to look more like the Captain’s.

The juice of the roots of the madayantaka plant, the yellow amaranth, the anjanika plant, the clitoria ternateea, and the shlakshnaparin plant, used as a lotion, will make the hair grow.
That might prove useful. Melissa had threatened to shave Kurz’ head any number of times. Kaname had used the same threat on him before, too.

A woman who hears a man playing on a reed pipe which has been dressed with the juices of the bahupadika plant, the tabernamontana coronaria, the costus speciosus or arabicus, the pinus deodora, the euphorbia antiquorum, the vajra and the Kantaka plant, becomes his slave.

Hmmm. Again, wishful thinking and superstition. If such a method were actually successful, he could sell the secret to Kurz for a year’s salary or more. That is, if his prior statements were factual. Now was not the time to remember the things that his friend said he would do to Melissa if she was his slave. No doubt he would come across references to them later in this book.

“Now Miss Chidori, I would like you to name the six ‘strong acids’, give the definition of such, and write down an example of one such reaction in water.” The teacher looked at his watch. He wouldn’t keep the game going much longer. There were indeed things in his lesson plan that needed to get covered today. He had some time to spare, since Mr. Sagara hadn’t blown anything up, searched any new students belongs and person, or leaped out of a window to assault the driver of a delivery van with a missing license plate.

“A strong acid completely dissociates in water, forming H+ and an anion.

An example would be this.” She wrote HN03 dissociates completely in water to form H+ and N03-. “The six strong acids are Hydrochloric, Sulfuric, Perchloric, Hydroiodic, Hydrobromic, and…” She froze. The last one slipped her mind. Damn, it was one of the simple ones. Wait. It started with ‘N.’ Yes, it was…

“Nitric,” Sousuke answered. He had come to the end of a chapter and set the book aside. “Nitric acid. Trinitrotoluene is made by reacting toluene, a solvent, with mixed nitric and sulfuric acid. DNT can be used to produce numerous products, including ammunition and explosives.” he blinked rapidly. That military connotation might get him in trouble with Kaname. It would be good to stay on her better side, after the incident that morning. “Also polyurethane foams, dyes, and automobile airbags.” All of those were used I some fashion in earlier Arm Slaves.

“Correct, Mr. Sagara. Nitric acid. I fail to see how anyone could have forgotten that one.” The teacher shook his head and sighed. “Your answer was very informative as well. You are a credit to your school.” He looked at Kaname, not feeling a need to make the obvious comparison.

“Credit to the school,” Kaname said under her breath. “I hadn’t forgotten Nitric Acid. Some stupid stuck-up show-off had to butt in.”

Kaname had fifty items on her ‘shit list’ that day. All of them were ‘Sousuke’.

Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:31 pm
by Taurec
Damn I'm slow, this must have given you sooooo much fun writing this.
Just don't get sued by the ghost of Mallanaga Vatsyayana.

Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:55 pm
by dd
sued by the ghost
They can do that? @#$%^&!!! :sweat:

I imagine that people can find a lawyer for just about anything... :evil:

Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 3:42 pm
by Ariane
Haha, I can't wait to see how Kaname takes this out on Sousuke, and how he attempts to get back in her good graces...