FullMetal*Panic!

It had begun.

Sousuke sat on the chair, the eyes of every girl upon him.

Who would he call? What would he ask for a Truth? What might he Dare someone to do? The room was charged with uncertainty, anticipation, anxiety, and excitement.

Scientists once thought they had lightning and thunder figured out, until new theories disproved their earlier assumptions. Now, science is left without an explanation. All that is certain is that there is a limit in nature. Just as a bucket can only hold so much water, the atmosphere can only hold a certain sized electric field. The same could be said for that room in Kaname’s apartment.

“I…” Sousuke looked over at Ren. That single word had some of the girls shivering. “I accept the assignment.” He sat silently after that, thinking. Then, he stood. He raised his arm, finger extended. “I choose…”

The finger swung about in a slow level arc. Everyone held their breath, the sound of their hearts loud inn their ears. For Sousuke, the world seemed to slow, much the way it did in the middle of an Arm Slave battle. He needed some way to make a choice. In combat, with the upper hand, he would choose the weakest opponent and remove it quickly. If the mission success was threatened by one particular enemy, he would concentrate his efforts there. In the heat of melee, he would choose the nearest foe, or fight any enemy that engaged him.

“Any time now, Sousuke.” Kaname stood with her hands on her hips. The waiting was driving her nuts.

“You…” Sousuke pointed at Kaname. She had made his choice for him. “I select Kaname Chidori.”

“I knew it!” Maya grinned. “Her big mouth did her in.”

“You shall be my second choice at the end of the round, Maya Mukai.” Sousuke swung his finger around and pointed at Maya. Some girls actually ducked when that finger swung past them.

“Whose big mouth?” Ryo slapped Maya on the back and chuckled.

Sousuke looked over at Kaname. He scrutinized her face, seeing her brows furrow and her hand clutch at the fabric of her pajama pants. “Are you angry at me, for choosing you, Kaname?”

“What?” Kaname tried to smile. “Don’t be stupid, Sousuke. Of course not.” She swallowed hard. She began rubbing her fingers together. “It’s… it’s just a game…”

“I see,” Sousuke said. “Good.” He watched her a bit longer. “You seemed anxious. Are you frightened?”

“Frightened? Me?” Kaname stood straighter, holding her chin up. “No, you big idiot!”

“You sound angry.” Sousuke said.

“I… am… not… angry…” Kaname looked rather perturbed.

“Sousuke, you need to ask Kaname ‘Truth or Dare’.” Ren asserted her authority as Umpire. She knew all too well what would happen if Sousuke and Kaname kept up as they were. “Not ‘are you angry’ or ‘are you frightened’.”

“I apologize,” Sousuke said. “Kaname, Truth or Dare?”

“Your choice, Sousuke.” Kaname stuck out her lower lip. She was not frightened. Not at all. Not even a slight bit. She would prove that, by letting him choose. Her response had the girls whispering and looking on expectantly.

“Understood,” Sousuke said. “Your courage is noteworthy.” He looked over at Ren, missing how Kaname blushed. “Is it alright for me to say that?”

“I will allow it,” Ren said with a smile. “You should ask Kaname a question, or challenge her to a Dare. You have one minute.” She pushed down on one side of the timer.

“I will ask a Truth,” Sousuke said. Looking over at Kaname, he cleared his throat. He was oblivious to the fact that a roomful of girls were grasping the edge of their sleeping bags, leaning forward if the were seated, or standing on their tiptoes. “Yes. That will do. Kaname, briefly describe the Ee ja nai ka movement of the Edo era.”

A number of girls fell over. Some lay back hard, their pillows saving them from fierce contact with the floor. Maya and Ryo looked at one another and sighed. Ren smiled.

“What?” Kaname looked startled. “I’m not going to answer that!”

“I admit to being disappointed,” Sousuke said. “It was you who told me to take the upcoming exam seriously. Having studied diligently, I expected that you would have done the same. Not only to prevent hypocrisy, but also because you are the Class Representative.” He shrugged. “As the rest of you probably know, The Ee ja nai ka movement was a spontaneous outbreak of ecstatic behavior or mass hysteria which occured in Japan from July 1867 to April 1868, at the end of the Edo period and the start of the Meiji restoration. People in Japan took part in pilgrimages, worshipping of amulets said to have fallen from heaven, spontaneous dancing and chanting, and wearing costumes. The name of the movement, Ee ja nai ka, comes from a popular song or chant. The meaning is ‘It's OK’ or ‘Why not?’”

“It’s not OK!” Kaname clenched her fists. “And I will tell you why not!” She narrowed her eyes, once again forced to deal with a Sousukesque situation.

“Ren has asked me to refrain from telling you that you are angry,” Sousuke said.

“Ahhhh!” Kaname pulled at her hair. “Baka!” She couldn’t help herself. She walked over to Sousuke, grabbed him by the lapels, and shook him. He looked like a Bobble Head doll; for a few moments.

“I will assume that I am also prohibited from telling Kaname that she is behaving like a poor sport?” Sousuke tried to focus his vision when he looked over at Ren. Instinctively he ducked, when Kaname hand swept past where his head had been.

“S-o-u-s-u-k-e-!” Kaname pushed Sousuke aside and sat down in the chair. “Don’t you know anything? You don’t ask questions about Japanese History in Truth or Dare. Geeeez.”

“Miss Mikihara?” Sousuke looked to the Umpire for confirmation. She nodded her head. “I see. My mistake, then.” He stood silently, stroking his chin. “OK. I have a better question, then. Kaname, looking at the major terrorist attacks since 9/11, most of them have occurred in Muslim countries. Turkey, Morocco, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Indonesia and so on. Why?“

Kaname just closed her eyes and hung her head. The girls all muttered amongst themselves. They were impatient for the game to begin in earnest, but some were enjoying Kaname’s dilemma.

“No answer?“ Sousuke looked around the room. Everybody was looking at him. They must be anxious to learn the truth. “The targets have usually been non-Muslims. Western tourists, Jews, other non-Muslim locals, and so on. These acts are aimed at shaking the stability of Muslim countries whose economies rely largely on tourism. Once their regimes shake and cave in, the next phase will be to launch the final battle against the West and America.” That was fairly academic, actually.

“Idiot,” Kaname said between clenched teeth. “Moron. Jerk. Stupid head.”

“Kaname?” Sousuke looked over at Ren. “Oh. I understand. I apologize.” He looked at the clock. “You have a timing device. I did not allow Kaname sufficient time to answer.”

“Rrrrrrrrr-rrrr-rrr-rr-r…” Kaname’s eyes snapped open. For a moment, her face looked like that of Enma, king of the underworld, as seen at the temple she used to work part time at. If she were to judge Sousuke as good or bad, and decide into which afterworld he should be sent, he would have ended up in Buddhist hell.

“As Umpire, I am granting Kaname a ‘pass’.” Ren spoke calmly. “She has been through enough for this round.” She looked at Sousuke. “It’s alright. Listen to the types of questions that everyone else asks. You’ll catch on quickly enough.”

“Excuse me,” Sousuke said contritely. “I hope I have not ruined the game.” He coughed. “Am I to be punished?”

“YES!”

It seemed that all of the girls answered at once.

“No,” Kaname said, pushing the hair away from her face. “Being you is punishment enough.” She sighed. “It’s my turn to ask.” She looked around the room. “Mizuki…”

“…” Mizkuki’s mouth opened and closed, like that of a beached carp.

“I will let someone else call on you.” Kaname grinned. Most of the other girls chuckled. Mizuki looked relieved, and then irritated. “Let’s see…” She looked over at Kyouko. “Ky…”

“Truth,” Kyouko said, trusting Kaname to ask a relatively safe question. It was the kind of thing she would do. Call on her best friend and leave her shielded for the rest of that round.

“OK,” Kaname said. “I could ask you about boys…” She kept a straight face, hearing the inrush of breaths around her, and seeing Kyouko’s eyes go wide. “No. Hmmmm. “If you, your best friend, and your father were all bitten by poisonous snakes, but there was only one dose of antidote available, what would you do?”

The girls all muttered amongst themselves. That was a nice one. Sure, it wasn’t the embarrassing stuff, but that would come sooner or later. This kind of question was pretty provocative in its own right. A good game of Truth or dare could go long ways towards learning about values, beliefs, and the way that people think.

“I would give it to my father,” Kyouko answered. She tugged at one of her pigtails. “Sorry, Kaname.”

“It’s only a question, Ky.” Kaname laughed. “I would have answered the same way.”

“Alright, let’s keep it down now,” Ren said. All of the girls had been discussing the question amongst themselves. “Kyouko…”

“Maya,” Kyouko said. She smiled when her friend mouthed ‘thank you’. Now Sousuke wouldn’t be able to call on her. “Truth or Dare?”

“Dare,” Maya answered. There was nothing more lame and boring than a game where everyone answered ‘Truth.’ She needed to set an example.

“You go girl!” Ryo clapped her hands.

“Uhhh…” Kyouko wrinkled up her nose, thinking. “Imitate someone in the room. Let’s see if we can guess who it is.

“Fine,” Maya said. She knew exactly who to copy. “Kaname… get down..” She ran and pushed Kaname hard to the ground, and then covered her. “My mistake… I thought that was a bomb…” She picked up the hamster ball and handed it to her stunned friend. “One can never to too safe… there was a terrorist attack using a rodent as a bomb in Kablamastan.”

“There is no such country as Kablamastan,” Sousuke said, barely heard above the laughter and talking. “You probably mean Kazakhstan or Kyrgyzstan.” That only made everyone laugh even louder. “Wait. Maya is your friend. There is no need to belittle her. Not everyone is familiar with the last seventeen Republics of the Soviet Union, and the fifteen resultant independent states.”

“That was a very good imitation, Maya.” Ren grinned. “We all know who that was supposed to be. Your turn to ask.”

“Great!” She looked at Sousuke. “Before that, do you want to tell us if there ever was a terrorist attack using a hamster?” That had everyone snickering. “Inquiring minds want to know…”

“Affirmative,” Sousuke said, feeling somewhat pleased. It was good that his fellow classmates took security issues seriously. “Hamsters originated in the Middle East, Central Asia, and southeastern Europe. So, it should not be surprising to hear that terrorists have placed plastic explosive with hamster cages in Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Jordan, and the Chechen Republic.” He thought a moment. “The species involved were Syrian and Roborovski Dwarf hamsters, I believe.”

“I’m sorry I asked,” Maya said, shaking her head. “Ryo, Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” Ryo answered.

““What was the last place you went skinny dipping?” Maya asked, sounding nonchalant. The room went dead still, and then erupted in excited murmurs.

“Maya!” Ryo blushed. It would have been easy, had she been able to answer ‘I never have’. She couldn’t. And Maya knew that! “That’s…” She swallowed hard. When she spoke, it was in a very quiet voice. “A waterfall. Outside of the Asahidake Onsen.”

“Why is everyone acting like that?” Sousuke asked Kaname, seeing how the girls were talking, and noticing how pink that Ryo turned. “What is skinny dipping?”

“It’s…” Kaname cleared her throat. For a moment, she pictured herself skinny dipping, Sousuke standing near her, gun in hand. She tried to shake away that image. “Big jerk! Everyone knows what that is…”

“It means swimming naked,” Ren said.

“I fail to see the issue,” Sousuke said. “I have done that on numerous occasions.” He had, as a child in Afghanistan, and at various training camps run by Mithril.

“With girls,” someone asked.

“Affirmative.” Sousuke said. The reaction of the young women puzzled him even more. At a young age, he had shared lakes and streams with other children in the mujahideen camps.

“We… we should get back to the game…” Kaname blinked rapidly. She had almost been tempted to ask ‘With Tessa?’ What did it matter, if Sousuke swam naked with girls. It was none of her business. There was no reason for her to care one way or the other!

Ren put things back on track. Ryo went on to ask her friend from a different class “What was the last bad thing you were caught doing?” That girl asked the next person “Did you ever have a crush on one of your teachers?” She in turn asked “Would you murder an innocent person, if it ended all hunger in the world?” Dares were in short supply. Until Mizuki was called on.

“Mizuki, Truth or Dare?” One girl had just the perfect question picked out. Mizuki had gotten her in trouble the week before.

“Dare,” Mizuki said, with some trepidation. The girl wouldn’t hold a grudge, would she? If she gave out a Dare, it would be something like everyone had done at the last party, right. Take a bite out of the oldest food in the refrigerator. Give someone a piggy back ride around the apartment. Sing a popular song. Maybe even make a crank call to a boy. Something like that…

“Alright,” the girl said, somewhat disappointed. But, her eyes soon lit up and she chuckled. “We all know about you and Shirai. Some of us heard that you had Sousuke pretending to be him, to save face with some of your friends. Pretend he is you, and you are him. Show us what he did that got you so upset.”

“Uhhh…” Sousuke knew just what he had done.

“Wait… that’s a bit much, isn’t it guys…” Kaname looked at Sousuke, and then at Mizuki. “Ren?”

“It’s OK,” Ren said. Something like that was often part of Truth or Dare.

“No… there’s no way…” Mizuke shook her head. “I’m not going to…” She looked over at Sousuke angrily. It was one more thing she could blame him for. “I’d rather stick my head in a toilet, the way he did to that idiot Shirai…”

“Fine. If you’re going to be a ‘Wimp’.” The girl looked at Ren. “How about we use that as punishment, instead of paddling?”

Ren sat quietly for a short while. “I will agree to that. But, you need to clean the toilet completely before she does it.” While she was the sweetest of girls, she had grown up in a Yakuza family. When things got ugly between gangs, people sometimes found heads in toilets. This was minor in comparison.

“But… that’s not fair… Ren, I thought you were…” Mizuki looked to be on the brink of tears.

“If I take the punishment for Mizuki, will that suffice?” Sousuke looked over at Ren. His offer had everyone looking at him. There was a look of shock and gratitude on Mizuki’s face. Very rarely had anyone ever stood up for her.

“No,” Ren replied. “This is Mizuki’s decision.”

Mizuki stood up, stopped in front of the girl who gave her the Dare, staring down at her. Then, running a hand through her hair, she walked over to Sousuke.

“Uhhh…” Sousuke’s pulse quickened.

“That’s…” Kaname quickly closed her mouth, when a large majority of the girls turned to look at her.

Mizuki closed her eyes, gathering her will. She could do this. Hearing Sousuke say ‘If I take the punishment for Mizuki, will that suffice?’ inside her head, she opened her eyes, looking determined. “Thank you, Sousuke.” That would make this easier.

As the girls clapped their hands to a beat, Mizuki bent over and kissed Sousuke. That had Sousuke going stiff, and Kaname turning pale. Everyone else applauded, banged their glasses together, or began hooting.

“There,” Mizuki said, feeling like she was Queen of the Roost for that moment. Soon enough, though, the full impact of what she had done caught up with her. “Well… ummm… Sousuke… Truth or Dare.”

“It does not matter,” Sousuke said. “Choose what you wish.” he ignored all of the girls who called out, asking if he liked the kiss. Their questions were not the official one. Misuke was in charge of selecting his mission.

“OK. Truth. Let’s see…” Mizuki paused. Before, she had come up with a number of questions she would have wanted to ask him. She couldn’t seem to remember them now. “Have you every kissed someone other than me?”

“Affirmative!” Sousuke answered. “Many people. Men and women both.”

“Ohhhhhh-hhhh-hhh-hh-h…”

“He’s talking about CPR, the jerk!” Kaname clenched her fists. “Sousuke, you idiot, we’ve been over this before, the last time we discussed kissing.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhh-hhhh-hhh-hh-h…”

“That’s not what I meant!” Kaname stomped her foot, turning red again. “When Sousuke wanted to know why Mizuki was angry, I explained it to him. I asked him the same question Mizuki did, that’s all. Hmmmpppfff!”

“Kaname is correct,” Sousuke admitted. “I stand corrected. Mizuki is the only one I remember kissing.”

“You mean there might be some you don’t remember?” Maya asked.

“Yes,” Sousuke answered. “In the past, I spent a great deal of time around prostitutes. But, my memory of those days is somewhat incomplete.”

“Mmmmm-mmmm-mmm-mm-m…”

“Wh-… Wh-… Wh-…” It was Kaname’s turn to do an impromptu fish imitation.

Mizuki looked ready to collapse. She wished she never asked Sousuke about kissing. Maya, Ryo, and the others all looked at Sousuke as if they saw a monster. Kyouko was too stunned to take any pictures. Only Ren looked unconcerned.

“Prostitutes…” One girl managed to speak. “You do mean women who sell… you know… for money…”

“Yes,” Sousuke said. “They worked the sex trade at the encampments.” He thought back to his early days in Afghanistan, not that long after his parents had been killed by Soviet soldiers by accident. “I spent time with all of them. I do not recall ever kissing my mother, or the camp followers.”

“How old were you, Sousuke?” Kaname asked, knowing that there must be some twist to anything that Sousuke said about women. At least she hoped there was.

“I was a child,” Sousuke replied. “They were the ones who were my surrogate family.”

“Whew-wwww-www-ww-w…”

“Don’t do that again!” Kaname put her hands on her hips. She began stammering, when everyone turned a questioning eye on her. “You know… take up so much game time…” She blushed when all of her friends put their heads together, whispering again.

“Sousuke, I made a mistake.” Ren said apologetically. “I shouldn’t have let Mizuki call on you. The last person to be asked should call on you, so that you can ask the last question of the round.” She thought a moment. “Does anyone mind if Mizuki gets to choose someone else and go again?” No one had any problem with that suggestion.

Mizuki asked one girl “If you had a diary, what dark secret would you keep hidden in it?” That girl gave the next player a Dare, having her put her clothing on backwards, while a number of girls held their hands over Sousuke’s eyes. She in turn asked her friend “If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt someone without being discovered, would you?”

The questions seemed to blur together beyond that point. Who would you like to lock in prison for a year? How was your worst date so far? Have you fantasized killing someone? If you knew a meteor would end all life on earth in one week, what things would you want to do? What has been your most frightening experience? What do you do when you want to feel sexy? If the person you were engaged too had an accident and became paraplegic, would you go through with the marriage? If you were to wake up in the body of someone else, who would you choose? Would you sleep with a teacher for a better grade, or a boss for a better job?

The Dares were creative, too. The only one that Ren waved off was when one girl told another to put Sousuke’s gun down her pants. Otherwise, there were plenty of silly antics, and a few mildly risqué ones.

Eventually, Sousuke needed to be called on again, and he had to choose the final person for that round.

“Sousuke, Truth or Dare?” The final girl smiled. She had a good question picked out, and an even better Dare.

“You may choose for me,” Sousuke said.

“Thank you,” the girl said. “Kaname, do you have a leotard you can still fit in?”

“Yes,” Kaname answered, puzzled. “Why?”

“Dare,” the girl said. “Sousuke, you’ll need to put on the leotard. When you’re done, you will dance around the room like a ballerina.

Sousuke began sweating. That did not sound like something a Specialist should ever do. Kaname’s mouth fell open. She was too stunned to offer an objection. The others girls whistled, clapped, or called out.

“But… I have no good knowledge of how a ballerina dances…” Sousuke said. That excuse would not save him. One by one, girls got up and moved about the room, performing echappe, bourree, and passe pique movements.

“Relever to spring up!” One girl said. Those words were as foreign to Sousuke as ‘Emplace the tripod, lock the pintle assembly into the pintle bushing, and attach the T&E mechanism to the machine gun’ would have been to anyone else in the room.

“Abaisser to descend!” Another girl added, followed by another girl saying “Pique to step onto!”

“Don’t forget a sur le cou-de-pied derriere.” Ren’s cousin was a ballet dancer.

The girls all began chanting ‘derriere’ after hearing that. The refrain got louder and louder, causing Sousuke to sweat more and more. Finally, Kaname was convinced to retrieve her leotard, and Sousuke put it on. It was hot pink.

“Here,” Maya said, handing Sousuke something she had grabbed from Kaname’s closet. It was a short pleated skirt. “You’ll need this too.” Seeing him hesitated, she helped him put it on, while all of her friends made cat calls.

“Maybe I should accept the punishment instead,” Sousuke said. This was bad. Very very bad. “Methods used during the Edo period would be acceptable…”

“No Edo!” A number of girls said.

“Dance… soldier… now!” The Asker had seen how that method had worked for someone earlier. Kaname had good luck with it in class, as well.

Sousuke put on his one minute performance. It felt as if it lasted a lifetime. As he leapt and spun, he heard one girl say “We could put the pictures on the Internet.” Another said “We could send them in to Soldier of Fortune or whatever guys like him read.” That was followed by numerous suggestions, including the Post Office, Police Station, Supermarket, and Boy’s Locker Room.

The final move was rather spectacular, showing Sousuke’s agility to the utmost. It had the girls speechless. And, it had Kyouko very upset.

“I had stipulated ‘No photographs.’ I am certain that you and everyone else heard me.” After somersaulting over Kaname, pirouetting past Ryo, and leaping over Mizuke with his legs split, Sousuke grabbed the camera and tossed it into Kaname’s fish tank. “Umpire, was my derriere adequate?” He meant ‘sur le cou-de-pied derriere’.

“I… it…” Ren turned bright red. Everyone went silent. They had never seen that before. “Yes…” That answer was followed by all sorts of remarks and chatter.

“So, do you think his derriere is adequate?” Maya asked Kaname.

“Huh?” Kaname began coughing.

“More than adequate?” Ryo asked.

“I… he…” Kaname shut her mouth. No answer was the best answer in situations like this.

“Kaname? Do you need to see that last move again?” Sousuke, naturally, had no idea what ‘derriere’ meant. “Will that help you decide?”

“Baka!” Kaname kicked Sousuke in the shin. Big idiot! “Go in the room and change out of my leotard, before you ruin it. Honestly.” She grinned, thinking of something. If he made her feel uncomfortable, he should expect the same in return. “If you’re back in time, I won’t tell Kurz and Melissa what I just saw.” She pushed down on the timer. When Sousuke ran from the room, she turned the dial from one minute down to fifteen seconds.

“She digs it,” Maya said.

“No doubt about it,” Ryo added.

“Did you check out his ‘package’, too?” The girl who asked that ran for her life, seeing Kaname’s face.

When Sousuke returned, Ren tried to tone down the kind of comments spreading throughout the room. After everyone settled own, Sousuke needed to chose the last participant for that segment of the game.

“Kaname, who should I select?” Sousuke looked over at her. Now that he knew what kind of questions had been asked, he was caught in a quandary. First, the person. Second, the question or the challenge.

“Why are you asking me?” Kaname asked with a scowl. “If you can pilot…” She coughed behind her hand. “You’re a big boy. Figure it out for yourself.”

“As you wish,” Sousuke said. “Ahhh. I know how. May I have a show of hands? Who here was impressed by my derriere?”

A number of girls raised their hands without thinking. Soon, seeing the ice broken, other girls followed suit. Kaname was not about to do the same. It was neither a Truth nor a dare. Right? Not that she cared, either way. She almost swallowed her tongue, seeing Kyouko lift her hand up.

“I… it…” Kyouko quickly put up another arm, seeing Kaname look her way. “I was just stretching.” She faked a long and deep yawn.

“Sousuke…” Ren said. “Do you realize that the word ‘derriere’ is French for ‘behind’?” She paused a moment. “People use it as a word for ‘backside’.”

“Uhhh…” Sousuke looked around the room, feeling more and more tense by the moment. “Backside…”

“Affirmative,” Maya said. “Backside. Posterior. Rear. Bum…”

“Keister,” Ryo added. “Fanny. Rump. Tooshie. Butt.”

“Ass,” one of the more outspoken girls finished with.

“Uhhh…” Sousuke swallowed hard, sweating up a storm. Automatically, he looked at each of the girls who had raised her hand. He stopped, looking at Kyouko. “You… Miss Tokiwa… you raised both hands…”

“Eeep!” Kyouko squeaked. “I was just stretching, Sousuke.”

“I see,” Sousuke said, regaining his composure. “I will forget the matter of backsides, posteriors, and rear ends. You shall be my choice. Truth or Dare?”

“But…” Kyouko looked like she wanted to dive under the nearest pile of blankets.

“Exactly!” That girl’s quip had Ren trying to restore some semblance of order.

“It’s OK, Ky.” Kaname walked over to stand next to her friend. “I doubt that Sousuke will do anything to embarrass you.” She shrugged, and hen tossed her hair. “He’s just too clueless…”

“Tr-… Tr-… Truth…” Kaname looked at Sousuke with big soulful eyes. She trembled ever so slightly.

“So be it,” Sousuke said. “I take it, I cannot ask her what two events the Japanese faked during World War Two, serving as excuses to invade China?”

“That’s OK, Sousuke.” Kyouko nodded her head. She gave Ren a pleading look. “I don’t know the answer.”

“It is not a problem,” Sousuke said kindly. “In 1931 an act of sabotage took place on the Japanese railway in Manchuria. It came to be called ‘The Kwantung Incident’, after the name of the Japanese army guarding the railroad.”

“Sousuke…” By now, Kaname was almost too numb to be exasperated. Almost.

“I am answering as quickly as I can, Kaname. Please try to be more patient.” Sousuke said. “In response to the so-called dastardly deed, Japan quickly moved to military action that eventually led to the complete takeover of Manchuria, which they renamed Manchukuo and set up with a puppet Chinese ruler. Anti-Japanese forces had not committed any terrorist act. Rather, it had been fabricated by the Japanese military itself.”

“Sousuke…” Kaname picked up Sousuke’s Glock. She knew just what to aim it at. She had heard enough synonyms for backside to last her a lifetime.

“We will not need a re-enactment of the events, Kaname. My words should be sufficient.” He turned to speak to Kyouko, wondering why everyone was pressed up against the walls. “In 1937, there occurred the ‘Marco Polo Bridge Incident’ on the Chinese Manchukuokan border, which lead to the Japanese invasion of China proper. It later turned out that this incident, like its predecessor in 1931, had also been entirely fabricated by the Japanese military. Japan quickly took control of the major Chinese coastal cities, in the course of which their forces committed the infamous Nanking Massacre. Perhaps I will save that as a question for later.”

“Sousuke…” Kaname found herself surrounded by girls, who grabbed the gun out of her hand and threw it into another room.

“I’m sorry, Sousuke.” Ren sighed. “As informative as that was, I’m afraid that kind of question doesn’t fit into the spirit of the game.” She looked a silent apology to Kyouko.

“I will acquiesce,” Sousuke said. “In this setting, you are the professional.” He scratched his head, looking over at Kyouko again. “I find myself in need of a question.”

“What did she say in the last love letter she wrote?” One girl asked.

“Has she ever bitten someone else’s tongue?” Another girl queried.

“How often does she dream about sex?” That girl was subsequently smacked by every pillow in the room.

“I do not believe those questions are appropriate for Miss Tokiwa,” Sousuke said sternly.

That earned him a grateful look from Kyouko. A number of the girls looked at him with dreamy eyes. He was oblivious to the fact that he was changing some opinions about him. Kaname was all too aware. She put the weight on one foot, and then the other, wishing the game would end soon.

“Alright. This will be more practical.” Sousuke rubbed his eyes. He fought back a yawn. “If a pervert infiltrated the girl’s locker room…”

“You mean like you did, when you were new at school?” Maya smiled. She remembered when Sousuke had opened the door to the dressing area, looking for Kaname. He had claimed that he wanted to join the team, and was sent home handcuffed to a metal folding chair.

“Or like that creepy old guy did, when Tessa came to school.” Ryo’s comment had Sousuke thinking about Cmdr. Mardukas. That caused his heaviest perspiration of the evening.

“I will continue,” Sousuke said in rushed manner. “If a pervert infiltrated the girl’s locker room, and you had available to you a combat knife, a grenade, and an assault rifle, which would you use to defend yourself?”

Kaname just closed her eyes and shook her head. It was pointless to say anything.

“Well…” Kyouko smiled. That was a strange question; but, it suited Sousuke. And, she could answer it without embarrassing herself. “The rifle, I guess.”

“Excellent choice,” Sousuke said, a look of approval on his face. “The grenade would cause too much collateral damage. Unless you were a skilled knife-fighter, your small size would put you at a severe disadvantage.” He paused. “If you ever wish to apply to a paramilitary organization, I can… ooopphhfff…”

Kaname couldn’t help herself. She kicked Sousuke hard in the rear end.

“It looks as if we survived the game,” Sousuke said, rubbing his sore behind. “I will be heading home, then.”

“Awwww-www-ww-w…”

“But Sousuke,” Ren said. “That was only the first round.”