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Truth or Dare (chapter 5) [FIC]

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 1:33 am
by dd
The squad had shown signs of attrition.

At least, that was how Sousuke viewed things, looking around the room.

In the first round, the group had played at full strength. During the second round, a few girls had succumb to sleep, and were covered over with blankets. Before the start of this, the third round, a few more had trouble keeping their eyes open.

“OK gang, time for Round Three.” Maya held the halisen in her lap. She had been chosen as the Umpire for the next session. “Huh? What is it, Sousuke?” She pursed her lips, wondering why Sousuke raise raising his hand. It wasn’t like this was homeroom or something.

“Madame Umpire, I must apologize.” Sousuke looked someone sheepish. “I can offer no excuse, other than the fact that I found myself in a new environment, and had not gathered sufficient intelligence.”

“Geeeez,” Kaname said, pulling at her hair. “We’re all too tired for nonsense.”

“No we’re not!” A chorus of bleary-eyed girls spoke up as one.

“What do you have to apologize for, Sousuke?” Maya grinned, watching Kaname’s face. “Is it because you’ve been staring down Kaname’s shirt every chance you got? I’m surprised that someone as sharp as our Student Council Vice President hasn’t caught you.”

“Wh-… Wh-… What?” Hands clenched, Kaname suddenly didn’t feel so weary any more. She turned a scathing look on Sousuke.

“But… I have not… Kaname…” Sousuke went stiff. “Miss Mukai, I fail to see why you would claim such a thing.”

“I saw it too,” Ryo lied. “So did Mizuki and Kyouko,” She put her hand over Kyouko’s mouth.

“S-… S-… S-…” Kaname’s eyes seemed to glow with an unholy light. Sousuke realized that he would much rather face down a Venom with a penknife in hand, than stare into those eyes.

“Perhaps the lack of sleep has affected your judgment, Madame Umpire” Sousuke said, backing slowly away from Kaname, keeping his eyes looking safely at her feet. “I assure you, I have done nothing improper.”

“That’s why you’re in trouble,” Maya said.

“Right!” Ryo shook her finger at Sousuke. “You didn’t peek, and that was what Kaname wanted you to do.”

“Kaname?” Sousuke looked up into her face. “Is what the Umpire saying true?” He swallowed hard. “Isn’t it the solemn duty of the Team Leader to encourage veracity?”

“You…” Kaname took a step. “You…” She took two more steps. “You total imbecile!” She walked over to stand nose to nose with a sweating Sousuke.

“Think she walked closer to give him another chance?” Mizuki grinned, knowing that she had a ring side seat for Armageddon.

“Yes,” Ryo said. “Our plan is working perfectly. This gives her the perfect opportunity.”

“But, she’ll pretend she‘s not doing that,” a girl added. “Don’t let her trick you, Sousuke!”

“Uhhh…” Sousuke fought the urge to look. Before, he had not felt any temptation. Well, not too much. But now, knowing that he wasn’t supposed to do it, he found it hard to keep his eyes on Kaname’s. He looked downward, only for the briefest of moments. He didn’t see anything. She didn’t know that.

“Baka!” Kaname put her hands on Sousuke’s chest and pushed him as hard as she could. That had the startled soldier stumbling backwards, wind milling each of his arms, trying to maintain his balance.

“Urrr-rr-r…” Sousuke tripped over one sleeping girl. He fell hard between two other young women. Each hand landed on the breast of a different girl. Only recently asleep, they both woke of immediately. Spasmodically, Sousuke’s hands both contracted, squeezing something ample and pleasantly soft.

“E-e-e-e-k…” One girl squeaked.

“You… you… you pervert!” The other girl slapped Sousuke hard across the cheek.

“S-… S-… S-O-U-S-U-K-E-!”

Kaname’s shout woke anyone who was still asleep. The nerve of that lecherous opportunistic jerk! He probably threw himself down like that on purpose.

“You’re in big trouble now, Sousuke.” Maya smiled.

“That’s right,” Ryo said.

“But…” Sousuke held his hands up away from his body, making certain he didn’t inadvertently touch someone else.

Kaname looked down at him, sprawled as he was across a number of sleeping rolls. “I hate you, Sousuke. I really do. You‘re a headache I just don‘t need!”

Sousuke stood up, after apologizing to the fondled girls and explaining what happened. Without saying another word, he gathered up his clothes, his weapons, and his supply bag. As the girls watched, he strode out onto the darkened balcony. A few moments later, the borrowed pajamas came flying into the room.

“Great job, Kaname.” Maya shook her head, a frown on her face.

“That really wasn’t fair to Sousuke, you know.” Ryo crossed her arms over her chest, looking somewhat stern.

“We tricked him, Kaname.” Mizuki said. “You act like you expect him to be perfect all the time. Like you actually are yourself…”

“That‘s no excuse…” Kaname felt a rush of righteous indignation. Sousuke was about as far from perfect as anyone could be! “You saw what…” She shivered. They just didn’t know how she felt. The nonsense that went on at school was only the tip of the iceberg. “It’s not just tonight…” Even though Sousuke wasn’t to blame for everything that had happened to her life, he was forced to bear the burden of her resentment, because he made things worse just as often as he made things better. Still, if she took a moment to put herself in his shoes… “You’re right…”

Wanting to catch Sousuke before he climbed out of view, she hurried towards the balcony, stepping out into the dark. She bumbed into him, while he was in the process of getting dressed.

“Uhhh…” Sousuke froze in the act of pulling on his pants. There was just enough light to see that he was not wearing undergarments. Luckily, the heavy shadows left things mostly up to the imagination.

“Y-… Y-You… Y-Y-You’re…” Kaname felt dizzy, as if the world was spinning faster and faster. “N-…N-…” She couldn’t get the word ‘naked’ out.

“Not for much longer,” Sousuke said, his voice coming out in a croak. “I will need you to… uhhh… take your hand off of…uhhh…” When Kaname brought her hand back like she had touched a hot stove, he managed to get his trousers up and zippered. He then slipped his shirt over his head, relieved that none of the other girls were standing at the sliding glass door, looking on.

“I… it wasn’t… you know…” Kaname didn’t know whether she should jump off of the balcony, or run and crawl under her bed for the next ten years. “I’m sorry. It was an accident!” She bowed her head. If Sousuke wanted to, he could leave her embarrassed until the Crack of Doom, just by walking back inside and telling her friends what she had just done.

“That is the story of my mission guarding you,” Sousuke said, pulling on his shirt. “It seems that I have done more harm to you than those that have taken you captive in the past.” He slung his weapons, shouldered his bag, and readied the Tactical ResQMax. “This evening was no exception.” He tested the wind with a few a few small pieces of paper.

“No… it’s not really that bad…” Kaname put her hand on Sousuke’s grapnel launcher, lowering it. She tried to find some way to explain things. “Remember when we were onboard the submarine, and you came back from that island, and Melissa was hurt…” She spoke quietly, so no one else could hear. “When I offered comfort… you were really upset… and you said that everything had been bad since you met me…”

“I was frustrated,” Sousuke said, feeling ashamed of the things he had said back then. “Things were not like I was used to… nothing seemed to be going well…” He looked out over the city.

“That’s the story of my life with you guarding me,“ Kaname said, softly, tears coming to her eyes. “So many things are out of my control, now. Sometimes…” She sighed. It was too hard to put into words just then. “I just want to say that I don’t really hate you, OK?” When Sousuke stood unmoving, she felt a need to add something more. “I’ll try to get less angry with you.”

“That is kind of you,” Sousuke said. “You should get back to your friends. They will wish to resume their game.”

We should get back, you big idiot.” Kaname yanked on Sousuke’s sleeve. She couldn’t believe that she passed up a perfect opportunity to send him back to his apartment. But, if there was such thing as karma, things should go a lot better for her if he stayed. “Unless you’re afraid…”

“No,” Sousuke said, immediately standing straighter. He lowered the line launcher and let the bag slide down along his arm. “I will not leave this mission incomplete.”

When the two of them walked back into the crowded room, all of the girls were waiting, hushed. Some of them smiled when they saw Sousuke. Others scowled and sighed. The remainder simply shrugged, worked their way back under their blankets, and tried to get back to sleep.

“So, what took you guys so long?” Mizuki rubbed her hands together.

“You were dressed, weren’t you, Sousuke?” Ryo raised an eyebrow.

“Kaname didn’t take advantage of you, did she?” Maya smiled.

“Negative!” Sousuke went stiff. Fortunately, the stiffness involved his entire body, not simply the part that Kaname had grabbed by mistake. “Miss Chidori would never do such a thing intentionally!” That much was certainly true.

“Of course not,” Kaname said. “One pervert is more than plenty. Ah hah hah hah hah hah-h-h-h-h-h…” Both she and Sousuke turned bright red.

Mmm Hmmm…” Maya took out a brush and worked on her hair a bit. “I guess we should get back to the game. What was it you were trying to say before, Sousuke?”

“The name of the game is ‘Truth or Dare‘. It is simple to see whether or not a person completes a Dare. However, we have not established any method to ensure that the game players are actually telling the truth.” Sousuke hung his head. “I apologize. If I had not been unsettled by being in an unfamiliar situation, I would have seen to that earlier.”

“That’s alright,” Kaname said sweetly. “The game is based on trust. There’s no need to…” She was interrupted.

“As Umpire, I will be the judge of that.” Maya winked at Ryo. They both knew just how much Kaname was allergic to Sousuke’s otaku explanations and suggestions. She deserved this, after snapping at him earlier. “What could you have done?”

“But…” Kaname waved her hands frantically.

Shhhh-hhh-hh-h…” The girls all shushed her.

“He’ll…” Kaname shook her head, wanting to nip things in the bud.

“SHHHHHH-HHHHH-HHHH-HHH-HH-H…”

“As you all know…” Sousuke said, standing with his legs spread apart and his arms behind him. He spoke in a steady conversationally tone, as if he was lecturing a group of cadets. “…Interrogation is the process of interviewing a source to obtain information that the source would not otherwise willingly disclose. A typical purpose is not to force a confession, but rather to develop sufficient rapport, playing on the source's character, to prompt the source to disclose his information. There are multiple possible methods of interrogation including deception, torture, increasing suggestibility, and mind-altering drugs.”

“Sousuke…” Kaname bit her lip, knowing that she had promised Sousuke that she would keep her temper.

“Fascinating,” Ryo said, leaning forward, pretending to look interested.

“Very,” another girl added, keeping a straight face.

“Conveniently, sleep deprivation can also be effective.” Sousuke looked at the number of sleeping bags strewn across the largest room in the apartment. “If necessary, I could also have used exposure to extremes of cold and heat, or the practice of placing prisoners in stress positions for agonizing lengths of time.” He looked up. “No, not prisoners. My mistake. Players.”

Sousuke…” Kaname grabbed hold of the fabric on both sides of her pajama bottoms. She tried to slow her breathing.

“Kaname’s in a stress position most of the time,” Kyouko said to Ren.

“You’re probably right,” Ren replied.

“Equipment can also prove useful,“ Sousuke continued, warming to his subject. “A polygraph instrument is basically a combination of medical devices that are used to monitor changes occurring in the body. As a person is questioned about a certain event or incident, the examiner looks to see how the person's heart rate, blood pressure, respiratory rate and electro-dermal activity change in comparison to normal levels. Fluctuations may indicate that person is being deceptive, but exam results are open to interpretation by the examiner.” He spoke in a very stern tone. “However, there are limitations. Polygraphy, like voice analysis, relies on second-hand signs of lying which a good actor can suppress. Furthermore, someone who is telling the truth might exhibit just these signals, because the very act of being questioned by the authorities is stressful. Instead, current research is looking directly at the source of lies, the brain itself.”

“S-o-u-s-u-k-e…” Kaname began shuffling her feet some. She looked edgy, like a sprinter getting ready for the first race of the year, or a batter waiting for the first pitch of a game.

“Do you have that kind of equipment?” Mizuki swallowed hard. If he did, just what would that say about him?

“Negative. But, I know of people who do. Had I been thinking, I could have asked to have the necessary items delivered to my apartment.” Sousuke looked somewhat depressed.

“Darn,” Ryo said, hiding a smile behind her hand.

“What a shame,” Maya added.

“Really?” Sousuke looked at the two girls. “There may still be time, if you wish…”

“SOU-mrphlbrglfrblmrph…” One of Kaname’s friends placed her hand over her mouth.

“We should consider all possibilities, then.” Sousuke no longer sounded downtrodden. “So we can select the methods most appropriate for a slumber party. A second technique that can essentially probe the brain directly during questioning is the cognomens. The subject wears a headband that beams infra-red light through their skulls and into their brains. Part of this light is reflected back, and the pattern of reflection indicates activity in the tissue it has been reflected from. EEG devices are a third alternative, with greater than ninety-nine accuracy at determining the veracity of certain kinds of statements.” Sousuke rubbed his chin for a moment. “Experiments are also being done with brain scan technologies such as functional magnetic resonance imaging , MRIs. Researchers have created scenarios in which study subjects will lie predictably. They observe blood flow within subjects' brains as they alternately lie and tell the truth. That has allowed them to identify the specific areas in the brain where lies are formed.” He sighed. “Such equipment is not portable, however.”

Mrglbrflnrmlbrglfrph…” Kaname struggled to break free. Two additional friends had hold of her arms.

“Another method involves substances used as so-called truth serums. Sodium pentothal, the most commonly known speech-inducing compound, makes people more talkative, but not necessarily more honest. This problem has dogged US spymasters for more than a half century.” Sousuke began pacing as he lectured. Some of the girls he walked past actually seemed genuinely interested in his discourse.

“My father is a veterinarian at the zoo,” one girl said. “He and his partners use Sodium Pentothal. When an animal is injured and needs an examination, a quick dose of the drug by tranquilizer dart gives few minutes to the veterinarian to do the examination. It can also be used to calm down a large animal that needs to be shipped from one place to another. The medication slows the metabolism and minimizes the stress and excitement.”

“Maybe Kaname could use some of that,” Mizuki quipped.

“Then we have a source, should we need that drug.” Sousuke nodded his head. “Excellent. We also have limited quantities of alcohol.”

“"In vino, veritas", one girl from the Latin club offered.

“Precisely,” Sousuke said. “While the use of such is illegal at our age, it is far less reprehensible than utilization of other drugs that the CIA and other national intelligence agencies have experimented with. I doubt that anyone brought mescaline, barbiturates, LSD, or certain extracts of marijuana. If need be…”

“S-O-U-S-U-K-E-!”

Kaname had managed to break free. Anger and disbelief growing with each step, she made her way over to Sousuke.

“Kaname… what…” Sousuke looked puzzled. Why was Kaname upset?

“Idiot… imbecile… morondunced-u-n-d-e-r-h-e-a-dd-o-l-tnumbskullsimpletonhalf witmental defectiveOTAKU JERK!”

“Quite a vocabulary,” Mizuki said.

“Kaname’s a straight ‘A’ student,” Kyouko said proudly.

“…” Sousuke opened his mouth but didn’t have opportunity to speak.

“There will be no lie detectors. There will be no infrared whatever. There will be no EEGs. And there will be absolutely no drugs of any kind!” Kaname poked Sousuke hard in the chest with each assertion.

“But Kaname, you promised you wouldn’t get angry…” Sousuke blinked rapidly.

“I said I’d try,” Kaname retorted. “I did try. You would try the temper of a Saint!”

“They’re so cute together,” one girl said.

“You’d think they were married or something,” another added.

“Young love.” The third girl placed her chin on her hands and sighed. Both Sousuke and Kaname froze hearing that.

“We probably should let you two get a room or something,” Maya said, her efforts a major success. “But, we have Truth or Dare to play.”

When Sousuke and Kaname sat back down, it was as far apart as possible. When the vote was taken, the girls chose to change the arrangement. Now, each person would get a turn to ask a question that everyone had to answer, the Asker included.

“Did you ever try to run away from home?” That was the first question asked.

“Yes,” Kaname answered, when it was her turn. “When I was seven and a half years old. The police found me and returned me home the following day.” She thought back to those days. The problems she had then were so minor compared to the ones she faced now.

“Affirmative,” Sousuke said. “Numerous times. After my parents were killed by Russian soldiers in front of me, I hid in the homes of family friends. But, with my parents gone, those friends were no longer very friendly.” He felt no unease, sharing his life’s story. He had done that with Mithril councilors on a number of occasions. “The orphanages were worse. It was difficult, avoiding those that wished to victimize me. So, I chose to leave. I could not leave the mujahideen camps, however. I would have been viewed as a possible informant and hunted down.” Everyone was quiet after he finished. Suddenly, everyone’s problems seemed small in comparison. They all began to understand just what kind of things he had been through.

“Well, let’s not bring things down too much,” Maya said. “Kyouko, what’s your question?”

“Ummm… let’s see…what is your favorite perfume?” Kyouko asked.

When it came down to Sousuke, he scratched his head. “If I do not know the name of any perfumes, do I need to take a Dare? Or, do I receive a punishment?”

“I think we can let it slide just this once, Mister.” Maya smiled, using one of Kaname’s words for Sousuke. “Kaname, why don’t you go into your bathroom, and bring in your perfumes. Girls, anyone who brought a perfume or two, take them out. Why don’t we have a little contest.”

Rather than act shy or disinterested, many of the girls hurried to get out their favorite fragrances. Some merely unscrewed the tops or sprayed perfume on paper or cotton balls. Some of the young ladies chose to spray it on themselves, or put some behind their ears.

Kaname was left feeling somewhat undecided. First, she wasn’t too happy with the idea of Sousuke judging any of the scents that she liked. No doubt the big idiot would say something like ‘I much prefer the smell of the standard issue insect repellent’ or ‘that smell is only slightly less objectionable than the medical waste at a field hospital’. Second, she wasn’t too keen on those chattering ninnies fawning over Sousuke. That would give him a swelled head. He didn’t need that, right? Someone had to look after him. Third, she didn’t know if she should put some on herself. If she did, where? Her wrist? Neck? Behind her ears? Certainly not her cleavage!

“Well, it’s only a game, after all…” Kaname sprayed some on her arms, whispering to herself. When it came time for Sousuke to try out her chosen scents, she felt ready to faint. She was left feeling disappointed when he commended her for a valiant attempt, and moved on. Chiding herself, she listened eagerly for the names of the perfumes, when Sousuke pointed to his finalists.

“Angéliques Sous la Pluie, by Jean-Claude Ellena.” One girl held her hands over her head, clasped.

“Shiseido Zen,” Mizuki said, startled to have been included in final fragrances.

“Eau Parfumée Extrême, by Bvlgaria.” Ren smiled sweetly and passed her perfume bottle amongst the other girls.

“Mine is by Dominique Ropion,” one girl said. “It features notes of tuberose, orange blossom, coconut and camphor.” She started blushing. She didn’t give the name.

“I believe that last one is my favorite,” Sousuke said solemnly. He wasn’t certain how important perfume was to a girl. If it was anywhere near as important as weapons selection was to him, he did not wish to hurt anyone’s feelings. “You were all exceptional combatants… uhhh… I mean…”

“We know, Sousuke.” One girl smiled. “But, why didn’t you tell us what it‘s called?” She directed that to the girl who won the brief little competition.

Kaname opened her mouth to second that request. Looking at Sousuke, she bit her tongue. She couldn’t allow herself to sound to eager. Besides, why should she care?

“It’s… well…” The girl looked down at her feet. “‘Carnal Flowers.’” She immediately tensed up when the other girls teased her.

“I read about that one,” Ryo said. “One magazine called it the ultimate seduction perfume.” She looked over at Sousuke. “No wonder he likes it.”

“Uhhh…” Sousuke’s eyes went wide. “Were you trying to seduce me?”

The girl went as pale as a sheet. The other girls threw their pillows at Sousuke. Kaname fought down the urge to clobber him with the nearby pedestal table. After things settled back down, Maya got things back on track. It was Ryo’s turn, and she asked “What was the last thing you asked about when you visited a fortune teller?” The next girl asked “What part of your best friend’s character would you like to change?” That had Kyouko coming close to taking a Dare. The following Truth, “Who do you know with the cutest buns,” caused a bit of a stir.

Sousuke answered ‘Moomin Bakery Café.’ The girls were in too much of a tizzy to deride him for too long. Kaname, hating to seem cowardly, immediately took a Dare, able to keep from looking in Sousuke’s direction. She was not the only one to avoid taking the Truth. Fortunately, the challenges were somewhat tame. She ended up wearing clown make-up courtesy of the other girls.

“It does not bring out her better features,” Sousuke said. “And, it is impractical. Camouflage paint should allow one to blend in with the environment one is moving through. Perhaps she could blend in with my nightmares, but little else.”

Kaname had smiled, hearing that Sousuke thought that she had ‘better features.’ But, the rest was far too otaku. Also, the reference to her being in his nightmare was backwards. Once again moving without thinking, she found an unopened soda. It was warm. It was wet. It was soon all over Sousuke’s head.

That little vignette prompted the next question: “In your nightmares, who do you run from?” After everyone answered, they moved onto “Have you ever dated someone who was married?” When everyone answered ’no’, a girl asked “How did your last pet die?”

“Land mine,” Sousuke said.

Everyone froze. One girl, usually somewhat timid, asked “And the one before that?”

“Soup,” Sousuke answered.

“Awww, poor thing.” Another girl said. “It choked to death?”

“No,” Sousuke replied, shaking his head. “Food was scarce in the camp.” That answer quickly changed the subject.

The game continued. Lack of sleep eroded inhibitions. The fact that the punch had been spiked with alcohol, and the entire large punch bowl was empty, gave a hint that some of the girl’s judgment might be a bit impaired. While the night was already memorable, thing had not exploited the potential of a risqué Truth or Dare fun fest. Yet.

“If you had a Genie lamp, how long would you rub it until the Genie came out?” That girl’s question had a number of faces turning bright red. A few girls slid into their sleeping bags and covered their heads. It was an obvious double entendre, and everyone but Sousuke picked up on it.

“That question is disallowed,” Maya said, even though she was rather mischievous herself. The question itself was the joke, and few people would give any answer worth hearing.

“Madame Umpire, why was that question terminated?” Sousuke had his hand raised again.

“It…” Maya’s mouth fell open. The only boy in the room was the one who had to ask! “You see…” He had asked her. By rights, as Umpire, she should probably answer, or tell him to forget about it. But, power brings its privileges. “Do we have any volunteers?” She looked around the room, hoping no one would step up to the plate. “OK, I’ll choose someone then…” She began looking around the room slowly.

Kaname fliched. She had been targeted more than her fair share already. She knew exactly who Maya would pick. Let her! She was not about to explain that one to Sousuke.

“Hmmm…. I know…” Maya smiled. “K-…” She paused. The other girls looked relieved, and some came out of their sleeping bags. “K-…” A large smile creased her face when she saw the face that Kaname made. “K-…” The tension had built to a climax. “Kyouko.”

The room went dead quiet, followed by an explosion of noise that woke anyone still asleep. Kaname felt a great feeling of relief wash over her; but, she felt angry just the same. Kyouko was too sweet to be picked on that way, even if it was by one of her friends. Kyouko’s glasses slid off of her nose.

“A very apt choice,” Sousuke said, nodding. “Miss Tokiwa is very kind, and does not criticize me for my lack of understanding, the way that Kaname does.” He looked over at Kyouko. “She is also very knowledgeable. No doubt she has sufficient experience with the subject at hand.”

Kyouko swooned. Ren rushed to comfort her. The girls all glared at Sousuke, as if he purposefully caused their friend to collapse. “I think we spent far too much time with that one,” Maya said, feeling guilty. “Next Truth.”

“If you were a piece of cake…” The girl had a wicked gleam in her eye. If they thought the last question was fun, they hadn’t seen anything yet. “… Who would you want to eat you?”

Everyone threw pillows, blankets, and just about everything else, as the Asker. Maya was very quick to disqualify that question as well.

“Madame Umpire, why was that question terminated too?” Sousuke’s hand was waving in the air. “This is all very suspicious.”

“N-E-V-E-R M-I-N-D-!”

Everyone in the room shouted at the same time. That brought more angry knocks from the neighbors next door. Kaname asked the other partygoers to try and keep it down. Her friends all promised to be quieter. They did not swear to make the game any tamer.

“If you were to drink your fill of wine from someone’s mouth, who would you choose?” That question had everyone whispering to one another. They turned their eyes on Maya, who raised the halisen and said “Go for it!”

Most of the girls got into the spirit of the game, going for Truth. There was a lot of blushing, giggling, and applause. When it came Kaname’s turn, a feeling of electricity spread throughout the room. There wad a lot of groaning and exasperated sighs when she chose ‘Dare.’

“Hmmmmm… how brave…” Maya tapped the halisen against her leg. “Well, I know what fits.” She grinned. The girls were all letting her choose the Dares, after she canvassed them for their approval. “Kaname, for the next minute, you need to make your way around the apartment, acting like a chicken.”

“Yeh!” “Alright!” “Good one!” Everyone clapped. A few of the girls threw popcorn on the floor for Kaname to peck up. One partygoer was smacked on the head with the paper fan when she tried to empty a bowl of popcorn in Sousuke’s lap.

“Buck… buck… buck…” Kaname didn’t feel humiliated. She had avoided a very sticky situation. Not only didn’t she want to answer her friends, she had no desire to make any kind of admission to herself. “Buck… buck… buck…” Flapping her elbows and bobbing her head, she bent down every so often to peck up some popcorn. “Buck… buck… buck…” She almost choked, thinking what Sousuke might say about her poultry routine some time in the future. Big stupid head! Loser!

“I have a joke,” Sousuke said, remembering something he had been told by a grizzled old veteran of multiple wars.

“This is a night for firsts!” Ryo looked incredulous.

“Wow,” Mizuki said. “I can tell my children that I was there when he did it.”

“What is your joke?” Ren smiled.

“The military was posed a simple question. ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’ Various divisions gave their answers.” Sousuke stood up. He had center stage. There was no reason that he shouldn’t be able to engage in light-hearted conversation like the others did. “The training and doctrine office answered ‘The purpose is to familiarize the chicken with road-crossing procedures. Road-crossing should be performed only between the hours of sunset and sunrise. Solo chickens must have at least three miles of visibility and a safety observer.”

The girls all looked at one another and sighed.

“Buck…” Kaname spat out some popcorn.

“The commander of the Special Forces unit said ‘The chicken crossed at a ninety-degree angle to avoid prolonged exposure to a line of communication. To achieve maximum surprise, the chicken should have performed this maneuver at dark using night vision goggles, preferably near a road bend in a valley’.” Sousuke‘s eye lit up. He wasn’t usually one to laugh, but this was funny.

Maya hung her head. She should have vetoed this from the start.

Buck…” Kaname flapped her ‘wings’ angrily.

“The officers in Personnel Command replied ‘Due to the needs of the armed forces, the chicken was involuntarily reassigned to the other side of the road. This will be a three-year controlled tour and we promise to give the chicken a good-deal assignment afterwards. Every chicken will be required to do one road-crossing during its career, and this will not affect its opportunities for future promotion’.” He paused, wondering why no one was laughing. They must be waiting for the punch line.

A number of the girls gathered in small groups, discussing their favorite singing groups and television shows.

Buck…” Kaname sounded like a chicken about to go postal.

“The response from Military Intelligence was as follows…” Sousuke felt a rush of expectation. It was time for the big finale. It was like pouring the last few shots necessary into any enemy armored vehicle, watching the vehicle brew up. “’What chicken?” He looked perplexed, when everyone remained silent. “You see, the term ‘military intelligence’ is actually an oxymoron…”

“The moron part is right,” Mizuki said.’

“Ohhh Sousuke…” Kyouko hung her head.

BUCKBUCKBUCKBUCKBUCK…”

Kaname couldn’t help herself. She went ballistic. She hit Sousuke hard, with pillow after pillow. Soon, feathers were flying about the room again. If it had been colder in the room, the girls might have imagined themselves in the middle of a heavy snow storm.

“Kaname, you ruined the opportunity for people to respond to my joke.” Sousuke had a look of disappointment on his face. That, and a coating of feathers.

“Ooooooo-ooooo-oooo-ooo-oo-o…” Kaname looked ready to let him have it again.

“Why don’t you settle down some, Kaname.” Maya said. “It’s time for Sousuke to answer the Truth.” That had everyone paying attention again.

“Uhhh…” Sousuke looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a Heavy Equipment Transporter.

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:25 am
by Weltall Elite
I can never decide for any certainty what I think of your writing. I loved the first chapter. The second and third had me pulling out my hair because of all the quotes and Edo references. Asides from dragging out, Sousuke is bad at Classical Japanese. How's he going to be so educated on Japanese history? And Sousuke went WAY overboard on insulting Kaname. Even he's not THAT oblivious. Even I was starting to hate him.

However, I really liked the fourth and fifth chapters. And as much as it pains me to admit it, I found the part where Mizuki kissed Sousuke to be kinda charming. Not that I'd like them to be a couple, but her change of heart was cute. And I was glad to finally see a part where Kaname WASN'T kicking Sousuke around unfairly, though it was shortlived.

I think the big draw to this story, and the reason I worked my way through the second and third chapters is that I feel this story is about to explode at any moment. Nothing makes for raw tension like a Truth or Dare game. ;) So let's see where you're going with this. Kaname's already rubbed Sousuke's lamp and imitated a cock-fighting rooster. The fun continues in round four. :twisted: