Inuyasha

[mika]

is yours subbed?

[HELLFIRE]

Recap of the trailer of m3 that's been out forever:

Inuyasha & Sesshomaru's father left behind not two but three swords it seems,
but the third sword is so powerful it's been sealed across time. Seal on it's
been broken -- go figure -- and it ends up in Inuyasha's possession. Guess
who comes to check up on the legitamacy of THAT inheritance. Battle of
the Brothers... how's THAT for a bandname

We're also going to get to see Inuyasha's father in human form, and
the backstory between him and Inu's mother.











Regards

[mika]

that's why i've been waiting anxiously for the subbed version to be released. can't wait to watch the brothers

[Esyla]

i hate my life
my dad has forbid me to download anything onto my computer because i have crashed the hard drive already 4 times.
and he really doesnt want to get it replaced.

but i wanna see the inuyasha episodes and the movies!!!!

[RussianFox]

sorry for the commotion mika. i got confused 2nd and 3rd for some reason. i'm yet to get the 3rd....

[RussianFox]

Esyla, feding your hunger here.
Wednesday
10:00 am
The housemates awake with weary eyes after tending to their newborns all night. Miroku is seen on Camera 14d leaving Sango’s seat on the couch muttering, “the baby needed his father, ok?” Showers and other morning routines are being strategically coordinated by the housemates to keep the babies within a two-metre radius of respective parents. Big Buttocks announces that in the afternoon he will be announcing the results of the parenting tasks, and if they are not satisfactory, he will be cutting their weekly budget to $7.50. “That’s enough for a packet of…nothing,” Naraku swiftly leaves the room.
10:45 am
The boys continue to show their maternal instincts throughout the morning, with Naraku lovingly dressing Tiger-Lily Xena Fairy Princess-Pea for the day. Sesshoumaru makes the observation that he went into the house as a femmie-bishounen, but now he's married with a kid. However, he slips right into the role, even rubbing Naraku’s back after he finishes dressing their beautiful child.
11:13 am
Someone in the house has discovered the whereabouts of the Big Buttocks microphone!
“THIS IS BIG BUTTOCKS! I AM BEAUTIFUL! MAYBE I’M BORN WITH IT! MAYBE IT’S MAYBELLINE!”
11.45 am
It appears that the one with the microphone holds the power, and Inuyasha has been forced to do SBD four times in a row. Naraku has been commanded to cook some “Youkai food for bloody once!”
12.00 pm
Big Buttocks (the real one) is furious. Sesshoumaru comes galloping down the garden path with his ‘tail’ between his legs, whimpering. No one has ever seen him in such a state. “Big Buttocks has no fashion sense!” He whispers emphatically to the cast.
“NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO SEE ME!” Big Buttocks roars. “SESSHOUMARU, YOU WILL BE PUNISHED!”
“Feh,” Sesshoumaru uses Inuyasha’s catchphrase as he drops onto one of the couches. “There’s nothing painful enough to fluster moi.”
“You tell him, my Sesshomie-poo!” Naraku eggs Sesshoumaru on.
“Just you wait,” Big Buttocks growls in a blood curdling voice that makes everyone’s hair stand on end, “Just you wait.”
“Eat me,” Says Sesshoumaru.
Big Buttocks announces that Sesshoumaru’s punishment will be announced this evening after he has thought of a really juicy one. The tension levels in the house rise.
1.00 pm
Big Buttocks calls the housemates to the lounge room to discuss nominations. They must elect two housemates of their choice, in order of whom they would most like to evict out of the house. The one they want most to leave the house receives two points, the other one point.
Shippou- "Inuyasha gets two points, because he tried to kill me on Monday! I was going to vote out Kouga, but Miroku tried to kill me on Tuesday so I suppose he deserves to be voted out too! Yeah! Inuyasha and Miroku! Grrr…"
Kagome- "Kikyou is so irritating! I mean she's been stealing my hot chocolate supply and keeps grumbling about her menstrual cycle, I mean, I'm a girl too you know and I don't grumble about it! She keeps eyeing Inuyasha too, and that's sabotaging our chances of passing the weekly task satisfactorily! Besides, she's passed her time! Oh, and I'd also like to nominate Sesshoumaru because he takes too long in bathroom."
*sounds like someone else's time of the month is coming up soon!*
Naraku- "Miroku. I just don't like the guy!" flashes a casual grin "Inuyasha too, I just don't like him either."
Sango- "I choose Jaken because he does absolutely nothing around the house to help. Kikyou creeps me, the way she lurches around the house like a zomb- uh…oh, Miroku can wait till next time…"
Inuyasha- "That f***ing Kouga bastard won't stay away from Kagome! Shippou should go out too. I reckon Big Buttocks is waiting for me to stuff up so I'll have to do SBD again! Feh!"
Jaken- "I want Shippou out. It's the battle of the small people and quite frankly the house is not big enough for the both of us. Kikyou, well she's a bitch! I still can't believe Big Buttocks paired us up for that ridiculous task!"
Kouga- "Inuyasha doesn't belong here! Kagome is my woman! I'm nominating Kikyou too; I can't stand having another person around who looks like my woman."
Miroku- "Jaken. He's an annoying, irritating little…" squirms "…little pain in the ass! Also Kouga, he just doesn't seem to fit in."
Kikyou- "Kagome should definitely go out! She's stealing my Inuyasha away, she thinks she can have him just because Big Buttocks has paired her up with him for the weekly task, I mean she doesn't realise how sensitive I get during my menstrual period, especially the mood swings and all, but DAMMIT, A DEAD PERSON JUST SHOULDN'T SUFFER ANYMORE! - ahem. But if she leaves, she should leave her hot chocolate supply behind - for the house to enjoy…eheh… Also Sesshoumaru…" eyes narrow towards Sesshoumaru "I know you did it Sesshoumaru, I know you stole my black mascara!"
Sesshoumaru- "I want Jaken out! *shocked faces*
"M'lord Sesshoumaru?!?! How could this be?"
"I'd really like to FINALLY get AWAY from him! Inuyasha, my dear *cough* brother, you must also be nominated. It's either him, or me and the viewers cannot stand for a hanyou with no fashion sense or make up!
Big Buttocks mutters some personal joke about Sesshoumaru being a pot calling the kettle black, and bursts into deep chuckles. When asked to explain himself, Big Buttocks simply replies, "You'll see, you'll see…" Then goes on to explain that after he's done the calculations, he'll let the house know who the three unlucky people are. An uncanny silence descends over the house as the ten occupants wait to see if their name is on the blacklist. 2.00 pm
Sango and Miroku have really taken to George. Sango sits on the couch ‘feeding’ George with a bottle while Miroku adjusts his booties.
“He’s got your eyes,” Sango says, smiling at the baby.
“He’s got your nose,” Miroku replies.
“He’s got your smile,” Sango says wistfully.
“He’s got your round, curvaceous ars…he’s got your head.”
Naraku shrieks from the kitchen. “How did Tiger Lily Xena Fairy Princess Pea get in the microwave?!”
3.00 pm
Inuyasha, gruffness personified, appears to have noticed how downcast Kagome has been since the apparent ‘demise’ of their baby. Having spent a lot of the afternoon in the garden tinkering away with “It Sheila Shit Sit”, he has finally managed to attach its head to its body. Inuyasha now appears to be washing it in the pool. He mutters almost incomprehensibly to himself but the Big Buttocks hanyou language translators assure us he is reciting poetry. Then again, the Big Buttocks hanyou language translators barrack for Freemantle.
3.30 pm
Naraku and Sesshoumaru are having a whispered discussion in the kitchen.
“He wears lime green?” Naraku whispers in shock.
“And that’s not all…Big Buttocks is actually really, really, really shor-”
“SILENCE!” Big Buttocks assures Sesshoumaru he has already thought of a suitable punishment and won’t hesitate to deal another. From now on all discussion about the appearance of Big Buttocks is forbidden.
4.00 pm
Kouga has approached Kagome, who is sitting alone watching Sango and Miroku. “Hey,” He says, “D’ya wanna help us take care of our baby?” Kouga indicates Shippou struggling to cart around the plastic toy which is almost as big as he is. Kagome smiles at Kouga. “I would love to, but Big Buttocks decided to give Inuyasha and I another chance. I just don’t know where the baby has gone, that’s all…”
5.00 pm
Confession cam is cancelled in favor of the revelation of the nominees. Big Buttocks calls everyone to the living room.
“The nominees for this week are Inuyasha, Kikyou and Jaken.”
Nobody misses the gasp of horror from Kagome, or the spontaneous grins of pleasure from Sesshoumaru and Naraku. Inuyasha doesn’t seem too happy. “What did I do to anyone?!” An evil aura starts emanating from Kikyou and Jaken merely looks stoned. Big Buttocks silences the feverish chatter among the cast, and announces Sesshoumaru’s punishment- he is to have a haircut.
5.30 pm
Sesshoumaru has not moved. The expression on his face is quite normal, but his skin is cold to touch and he is not blinking. Naraku thinks he might be dead. “You killed him!” He rages to the cameras. “Thank god,” Inuyasha mutters, and disappears into the bedroom.
5.45 pm
Sesshoumaru has started to move.
5.47 pm
Sesshoumaru is angry.
5.49 pm
Camera 14a has ceased to function.
6.00 pm
After what can only be called a ‘dignified rage’, Sesshoumaru has broken down into sobs, making Naraku’s shoulder extremely moist.
“There, there,” Naraku wheedles, “It’ll grow back. I’ll cut mine with you if you like.”
“Really?”
“Yes, anything for you, my honey.”
“Naraku, you mean so much to me…”
“Don’t worry sweetheart, everything will be okay!”
Naraku and Sesshoumaru burst into heartfelt sobs and embrace each other. Kagome catches herself smiling at the happy couple, whereas Sango and Miroku merely look disgusted.
“Who gets to cut his hair?” Shippou asks the cameras.
“Oh, hadn’t thought of that,” Big Buttocks says, “You can if you like.”
“What, now?”
“Sure thing,” Says Big Buttocks, and Shippou fetches a pair of scissors. Sesshoumaru seems resigned to his fate, and sits down on a stool gripping Naraku’s hand. Shippou climbs on top of Sesshoumaru’s head to do the deadly business, and the whole cast turns up to watch.
“You ready, ya puffed up piece of…”
“I want this style,” Sesshoumaru states, and holds up a Cleo magazine.
“Well, too bad!” Cries Shippou and the scissors dive in for the kill…
7.00 pm
Shippou has tried for an hour now to cut Sesshoumaru’s hair to no effect. Sesshoumaru’s hair is not ordinary hair, and just won’t be cut. Shippou gives up in disgust, and Big Buttocks is angry at himself for forgetting Sesshoumaru is a full blown youkai. All is not lost, however, and Big Buttocks assures the household that a visitor will be along tomorrow to lop off the locks. Big Buttocks then bids everyone goodnight and tells them to behave themselves; he’s going out for the night with the voice from the Tellytubbies. The second after Big Buttocks cuts the connection, a mighty roar is heard from the kitchen. Kagome rushes in to find Inuyasha surrounded by flame as he attempts to cook himself some toast.
7.45 pm
Miroku is extinguishing the last of the flames with his air rip. Inuyasha is wrapped in a fireproof towel and Kagome is tending to his burns. “Why weren’t you wearing your coat of fire rat’s fur?” She asks. Inuyasha is in the filthiest of bad moods. “Just wanted some frickin’ toast…”
8.00 pm
The cast are exhausted already, and are sitting on the couches swapping stories and talking about how they feel living together on Big Buttocks.
“Well, ever since Kaede was voted out, I realised how serious this can be…” Miroku states. “She was the last person I would have expected.”
“Yeah, she was always cooking for us, tending our wounds…” Sango adds.
“Giving us mummy huggles…” Says Kouga, and shuts up quickly.
“I think it’s been a really good experience so far,” Kagome says. “I’ve learnt a lot about living with different types of people.”
Four out of five couples are sitting together tending their ‘children’. George is perhaps the best looking of all the children, with carefully brushed hair and hand made clothes. He also appears to be armed with a small hiraikotsu and a rather crude looking black hole drawn on one of the hands. Tiger Lily Xena Fairy Princess Pea is also looking very beautiful. Snot Ball fits his name perfectly, whereas Kraken looks more like a potato than a giant squid. Kagome decides she wants to go to bed.
8.10 pm
Kagome finds her mended baby on her bed, wrapped in a red cloak of fire rat’s fur with a rather crude note pinned to it, that says “Sheela”.
9.00 pm
The rest of the cast decide to pack it in for the night, after a game of Twister.
12.00 am
There is activity outside. It appears to be the last night of the full moon, and the two resident dogs, fox and wolf have snuck outside to howl at it. Uncannily, their baying is incredibly tuneful and sounds like an a capella version of ‘Itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikini’. They then go on to perform such classics as ‘Achy-Breaky heart’ and ‘Go West’. This unusual and rare event goes on for about an hour, after which the canines snap out of their trances and yell at each other for a bit. Sesshoumaru flicks Kouga on the nose, and Inuyasha stomps on Sesshoumaru’s foot. Then they go to bed.

[Esyla]

*falls out of chair laughing*

[RussianFox]

Thursday
8:00 am
The cast are woken early, as the special visitor has arrived to give Sesshoumaru's lovely white mane the snip. The cast are relatively excited to have a visitor, and wait eagerly outside the door while Sesshoumaru again takes his position on the dreaded 'Yura of the Hair Cutting Wind' chair (named by Sango one very late night). The external door opens, and tension is running high. The cast all gasp as a dark figure steps through the door…
8:02 am
"Oro?"
The deadly visitor turns out to be a rather short redhead, who nobody recognises except Kagome. "Himura Battousai!" She shrieks and runs to hide behind a groggy Inuyasha. The visitor assures her that he is the Himura Battousai no longer, and she is to call him Kenshin. Kouga wants to know how such a short human is supposed to cut the hair of a youkai. Miroku asks Kenshin to bear his child. Kenshin states that he might look like a femmy boy but he is as male as the best of them. Miroku steps back muttering varied apologies, but Kikyou is interested and asks him to prove it. Kenshin states that he was only here to cut Sesshoumaru's hair and promptly draws his sword…
8:05 am
"So you are Sesshoumaru-sama, and I am to cut your hair, oro?"
"Bite me."
"Um, Mr Kenshin, I don't think he meant literally…"
8:07 am
"YEAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"
8:10 am
Shocked at Sesshoumaru's new bob, Naraku has screamed and run away to the bedroom. Sesshoumaru, however, is quite pleased at his new cute do, and skips off to the bathroom to congratulate himself on his gorgeousness and to treat himself to a five hour makeover. Kenshin returns his sword to its scabbard and leaves the house after thanking everyone and wishing Miroku better luck in the future. Kenshin seems to have left the house a parting gift of tofu which Kagome fries for breakfast.
8:30 am
Big Buttocks is quite disappointed with Sesshoumaru's reaction to his punishment, but remarks snidely that at least his nit problem is solved. Big Buttocks then states that today is the last day of being married with children. At three o clock the babies are to be given back, and the couples are to give statements to the confession cam about how they felt they fared as parents. Sango and Miroku are the only ones who look relatively disappointed about this. Even Naraku and Sesshoumaru have given up on Tiger Lily Xena Fairy Princess Pea, and George is clearly the most outstanding baby.
1:00 pm
Big Buttocks calls the housemates into the living room, where a bottle has been inconspicuously placed in the middle of the room. "Hn?"
"SPIN THE BOTTLE!" orders Big Buttocks. The housemates listen to Kagome explain the game. "Oh, it's this game called spin the bottle - uh, my friend back at home was always getting us to play this - I guess it'll be interesting to see what happens when we play it though…!" "Hn?" "I suppose we could play a revised version of this…I mean we don't want to be locking up people in the broom cupboard and force them to kiss, do we?" suggests Kagome. Kouga looks hopeful. Sesshoumaru turns to Naraku. Miroku eyes Sango. Shippou shrieks at the sight of Jaken. Inuyasha says "FEH!"
"Erm…a revised game it is then!" announces Kagome. "Right let's get started. I'm going to spin this bottle like so…" *spins the bottle* "…oh Inuyasha it looks like it's pointing to you!" "Feh," grunts Inuyasha in disgust, "if anyone so much as lays a finger on me, you're all dead."
"Don't worry, this is the revised version, so that means I get to ask you a question." Inuyasha is quiet, but an obvious look of contempt is on his face. "Bloody Big Buttocks…" Kagome pauses, carefully considering her question - after all, this is an opportunity too good to miss. After some debate, she appears to be ready.
"Okay, well seeing as this is the first one I'll make it easy. Tell me… Who do you like better, Kikyo or me?" The room is dead silent, as the cast of Big Buttocks awaits Inuyasha's reply. Inuyasha himself has not blinked. This continues for some minutes, until Sesshoumaru feels inclined to break the stillness by snuggling up to Naraku, who is seated beside him. "FEH!" retorts Inuyasha. Kagome is starting to look vaguely annoyed.
"WHAT THE **** ARE YOU IDIOTS ALL GAWKING AT???" yells Inuyasha. "You're a stupid brainless idiot, and that bitch tried to kill me!" He glares at Kikyo. Kagome appears to be on the verge of tears, whilst Kikyo looks somewhat more menacing - but one cannot tell whether it is partially due to her menstrual cycle. The rest of the cast is fed up, and decides to move on. Inuyasha seems somewhat relieved, and sulkily reaches out for the bottle.
1:15 pm
After the bottle has been spinning for 10 minutes from Inuyasha's powerful hanyou strength, it shows no sign of slowing. Finally someone suggests that Inuyasha close his eyes and just stop it to see where it points. It ends up at Naraku, who starts grinning dangerously. Inuyasha goes straight ahead with no hesitations. "Hey you, what's for dinner tonight?" The spectators all groan simultaneously. Naraku just smiles serenely. "Well, I haven't quite decided yet - I was thinking of a nice and simple macaroni bake, but then I thought that our diet was suffering from a lack of green leafy vegetables and proteins… How about grilled lemon fish with pumpkin and spinach pastries? Of course, I'm always open to suggestions…" Inuyasha mumbles a reply about something to do with chicken, and it's Naraku's turn. Naraku, being careful not to use all of his power - spins the bottle, which points to none other than Kikyo. Kikyo, still recovering from Inuyasha's insult, is not at all happy with this. The atmosphere in the room darkens another notch. Naraku clears his throat. "Kikyo, because you're dead, do you you have a sixth sense?"
Kikyo smiles what can only be described as a frown. "I know all about you Naraku," she says, and Naraku turns a ghastly shade of white. "I know what you said last night, what you did, whose bed you were in... and what your mother was! I also know about the fruitcake and the bowl of water lilies. So no, I don't have a sixth sense. I don't even have the first five! You wanna know why? Because I'm DEAD! GOT THAT? DEAD! You're so insensitive... do I have a sixth sense. Bloody hell, Naraku, go stuff yourself."
1:25 pm
Tantrum over, Kikyo's face is devoid of all emotion as the bottle turns, and inevitably stops. She takes a moment's consideration before asking, "Sesshoumaru, if you had to hook up with anyone in the room, who would you hook up with? I am in the room too." Everyone else knowingly nudges the person next to them and exchanges winks. Kikyo emits more menace. Sesshoumaru bats his eyes and fiddles with his trendy new haircut before giving a sigh. Looking in Naraku's direction, he answers, "I'm not really sure… Oh dear this is a hard one… does it have to be a guy or a girl?" A few eyebrows are raised.
"Gosh," continues Sesshoumaru, "well, I suppose they'd have to be a good kisser… mmm… and have similar interests to me…" Another glance at Naraku. "So, I guess I'd have to say… Inuyasha."
There is a very mixed reaction from the cast.
"But that's incest!" Kagome squeals.
Amongst the grumbling of discontent from the cast, Sesshoumaru gives Naraku another smile as he gives an elegant flick of his wrist, being careful not to break any of his carefully manicured nails, and sets the bottle spinning, which stops at Miroku.
"Houshi..." Sesshoumaru commands... "Moon Big Buttocks. May he get what he deserves... that vertically challenged piece of..." Sesshoumaru mutters to himself as Miroku nobly stands to perform the dirty deed. Robes are whipped down, then up again, and Inuyasha feels his manhood is challenged.
1:35 pm
Miroku reaches towards the bottle happily. "Alright," he says, "whoever this bottle points to will have to kiss moi!" He looks hopefully in Sango's direction. Everybody in the room unanimously groans, to which Miroku chooses to ignore. As the bottle turns, the Big Buttocks cast awaits the result with bated breath. Finally, the bottle points to none other than Sango. Miroku cannot help but utter a gleeful "YES!" Surprisingly, Sango does not seem too fazed about this turn of events, and leans towards the houshi with an eager and unsettling grin. Everyone's eyes are glued to the pair as they lean closer… and closer… and closer…
"Woah!" exclaims Miroku as their mouths part, "Sango, I'm impressed!" It is only then that he notices 'Sango's' bushy tail poking out from under her kimono. 'Sango' is frozen in terror as the houshi leaps towards her with a roar - "I'M GONNA F**KING KILL YOU!"
1:45 pm
Shippou, now sporting numerous lumps and bruises, makes a weak effort of giving the bottle a spin, which does not even make a full 360° before stopping at the real Sango, who is still in fits of laughter from the previous occurrence. Without any tact, the kitsune blurts out "Hey, what's your bra size?"
Sango's laughter stops immediately. Miroku leans forward intently. As she begins to speak, Sango turns a bright shade of red. "Well… I… err… don't really… um… well… I don't wear a bra," she confesses. Gasps can be heard from the audience.
"WHAT ARE YOU ALL COMPLAINING ABOUT? THEY DON'T HAVE BRAS IN THE SENGOKU JIDAI!" she exclaims, temporarily forgetting her previous embarrassment. Shippou looks disappointed, whilst Miroku seems to be daydreaming off in his own world.
1:50 pm
Sango frowns as the bottle stops at Jaken. "Just my lucky day," she mumbles. "Alright toad-boy, I've been wondering this for ages: have you ever been kissed?"
"Of course I have," toad-boy replies all too quickly, "who do you think I am?" There are some snide remarks from various members of the cast.
"Is that really so? Who by then?"
"That's not fair!" Jaken squawks, "that's asking two questions!" The cast of Big Buttocks, including Big Buttocks himself, remains unmoved. Jaken finally mutters under his breath, "by… my mother." The cast breaks into bursts of laughter.
2:00 pm
Jaken, eager to save face, quickly reaches out for the bottle. His pocked face scowls as it slows down at Kouga. Kouga himself also does not look top pleased at this.
"This time you lousy wolf," Jaken declares, "I'm going to dare you to do something!" There are murmurings around the circle, as they wait for the news. They wait for another 7 minutes before Jaken finally announces, "Eat my sock".
"What's so exciting about that?" Kouga states. "I've already eaten five of yours and they're not as nice as Kaede's were. I'd rather eat you..." Kouga maliciously eyes Jaken, who edges away.
2:30 pm
Having decided it's time for an afternoon nap, or perhaps growing bored of the unoriginal antics of the cast, Big Buttocks announces that they can all stop now. No one looks too sorry, apart from Miroku who throws a wistful glance at Sango, who inches closer to Kagome. "One day… I'll be lucky," he murmurs, "One day…"
3:00 pm
Confession Cam time-
First couple- Kouga and Shippou
Shippou- I could have made a good parent if it wasn't for bloody Lord Kouga bloody king of bloody wolves here…
Kouga- I hate babies. As if I would pick a fox for a wife anyway…
Shippou- I'm so glad this is over, and I want to get back to a normal, childless life!
Kouga- My future son will be by one woman and one woman only and her name is Kagome!
Shippou- Involuntary shudder Eww…
Inuyasha bangs on the door from outside…"You'll regret saying that, you pile of sh**!"
Second couple- Sesshoumaru and Naraku
Naraku hesitates from looking at his former 'wife' and seems to have trouble making eye contact.
Sesshoumaru- Tiger Lily Xena Fairy Princess Pea was our pride and joy…
Naraku- Yep.
Sesshoumaru- It was a real bonding experience, being married to my diddums here…
Naraku- turning away Yup.
Sesshoumaru- concerned What's the matter? Don't you love me anymore? Why won't you look at my lovely face?
Naraku- sniffles That bloody femmy boy…look what he did to your lovely hair…
Sesshoumaru- I thought you loved me for me, not my looks! Is that what matters to you?
Naraku- Oh, of course I love you Sesshoumaru, how could you think that! I'm sorry, I was just so surprised and confused at how beautiful you were without your hair…It was scary! You've always been much prettier than me…
Sesshoumaru- How could you say that? You're lovely too, Naraku…
Naraku- You're the best, Sesshoumaru…
Sesshoumaru and Naraku burst into sobs and embrace each other yet again. Big Buttocks tells them to stop canoodling.
Third couple- Inuyasha and Kagome
Kagome is holding It Sheila Shit Sit.
Kagome- I thought we were going to fail as parents…
Inuyasha- Feh!
Kagome- And Sheila here practically died, but now she seems as good as new…was it you who fixed her up, Inuyasha?
Inuyasha- Keh! As if I give a stuff about that piece of plastic crap…
Kagome- Are you sure you didn't do it?
Inuyasha- 'Course I didn't.
Kagome- Positive?
Inuyasha- Shit, yes.
Kagome- Oh, okay then. By the way, here's your coat.
Inuyasha- mutters thanks…
Fourth couple- Kikyou and Jaken
Kikyou- Grumbling Istillgotmyfrigginmenstrualcycle, dunnowhyBigButtocksputmewithatoad, whycouldn'tigowithinuyasha,idon'tknowgrumblegrumbleperiodchocolate…
Jaken- I mean, this is my point exactly! How am I meant to understand my so called wife when all she does is grumble and complain? I hope it's her who gets voted out this afternoon, so I don't have to live with such an ice cube…actually, I hope it's me! Then I can get some caffeine!
Kikyou- And I mean, I'm DEAD! Dead people should not get periods! I don't need more PAIN! It's not FAIR! Babies bring PAIN! And so do PERIODS! RAARGHH!
Jaken- She's scaring me…I'm frightened…can I go?
Kikyou- KAME…HAME….HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaAAA!
Fifth couple-Sango and Miroku
Sango- sniff George really grew on me…sniff right from the start I felt like a bond…a motherly bond…
Miroku- It's…sniff it's too hard…just to give up…
Sango- It was like we were a real family unit…
Miroku- I don't want it to end…not just yet…
Sango- A mother, a father, and our little son George…
Miroku- I enjoyed every aspect of it…sniffle
Sango- I really felt like a responsible mother…sniff…such a learning experience…
Big Buttocks- Yawn
Miroku- I really don't want to give up being married to Sango- Ow! That hurt!!
Sango- I don't believe it…you didn't feel any sort of parental love for George at all? I thought you were talking about us as a family!
Miroku- Yeah, sure, we were a great coupl-family. Family. Just lovely. Nice. Mm.
Sango- Bloody pervert priest.
Miroku- Cute curvy youkai exterminator---OW!
Sango- Nice little George.
Miroku- Horrible injury on head.
Sango- Monk mince meat.
Miroku- Houshi hurries away…
4.00 pm
It's time to give the babies back. A special security guard wearing Gendo brand sunglasses comes into the house to pick them up. Tiger Lily Xena Fairy Princess Pea is deserted by her parents, who leave to put toadstools in each others hair. The rest of the babies are taken up, a tearful Sango insisting on saying goodbye to George for a full five minutes. She has packed him a sandwich lunch and a special teddy bear. Even Kagome seems reluctant to give back Sheila. A suspicious Kikyou wants to know how Sheila was mended. Big Buttocks is now concerned about Kikyou's health- last time she narrowed her eyes that much she walked into a wall. Kikyou runs off in tears and Inuyasha goes off in search of Jaken's fags.
5.00 pm
For a reason the Big Buttocks psychologists have no explanation for, Shippou offers to give Naraku a piggyback, and is taken up on the offer.
NOTE: The Big Buttocks counseling team are on standby for twenty four hours a day, dealing with any complaints or troubles the cast have. They also analyze any irregular behavior. There are also medical, legal, security and accident teams on standby, dealing with any problems that are not shown on the official program. Examples of these teams in action include Inuyasha's toast incident, where the accident team arrived to help extinguish the fire. Shippou is now being treated for back pain by the medical team, who also deal with Kikyou's menstrual problems. The security team deal with any intruders to the house, and issue passes such as the one Kenshin used to gain access to the house. The legal team deal with any threat to Sesshoumaru's individual dress style, and sue any person(s) attempting to make a profit out of Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru ©® TM label is used on contract by Big Buttocks. All rights reserved.
6.00 pm
Naraku serves dinner, Chicken Darquitinies with red haddock, and vegemite ice cream for dessert. Big Buttocks prepares to announce the evictee of this week.
"This is Big Buttocks- are you prepared?" Everyone nods except for Shippou who is asleep. "The three nominees were Inuyasha, Kikyou and Jaken…and the evictee this week with is…" Kouga snorts.
"Jaken…you are the weakest link, goodbye."
Jaken screams with a mixture of delight and horror.
"Caffeine!" He shrieks, "Caffeine world, here I come! Alcohol! Caffeine! Stimulants! ARRGHH!" He runs out of the room to pack his things, and returns to say goodbye to the household. "Well," He says, "I can't say it's been a pleasure. Sesshoumaru- you are a rotten piece of filth and I regret every minute I was your minion! Now that I'm free, I assure you that I hate your guts and now I'm not under your influence ANY MORE! So goodbye you puffed up piece of youkai poo, I'm outta here to freedom! And go stuff your fluff up a muff. SAYONARA, SUCKERS!"
The room turns icy cold as Sesshoumaru stares a deadly stare at Jaken and assures him that after the program has finished, he'll track him down. Jaken runs out of the house.
7.00 pm
Miroku has popped the cork of a bottle of champagne not so much to celebrate the fact that Inuyasha and Kikyou are still here, but that Jaken is gone. Even Shippou is allowed a little bit of alcohol, and Naraku turns up the party music. Kikyou is seen to smile, and the counseling team have an emergency meeting about her state of mind. Sango finds a dance mat stuffed in a cupboard, and the house hold have a jolly old time, relieved that Jaken is now gone and they aren't.
"First Kaede, now Jaken…" Says Sango. "Two extremes, aren't they…" Says Miroku.
Inuyasha and Kagome are sitting slightly to the side, on a couch. "I'm…glad you weren't evicted," Kagome says hesitantly. "Yeah…me too." Says everybody's favorite hanyou.
Kikyou is dancing to 'butterfly' on the dance mat.
A certain hanyou pretends his arm has a will of its own as it sneaks across the shoulders of a certain person in a school uniform. The certain person fakes tiredness and leans over to rest lightly on the hanyou, red blushes covering both their young faces. They turn to look at each other in the eyes…
"Sesshoumaru, those sailor suits are so you…" Giggles the hanyou.
"You are so handsome!" Squeals Sesshoumaru and wraps his arms around Naraku. "Pity Jaken's not here. He would be so jealous…"

[Esyla]

wait
what was that last bit
*mumbleing*
was is inuyasha and kaname that snuggled
or sess and naraku?

[RussianFox]

fluffy and naraku in different clothes... you knew naraku was a half-demon, right?

[Esyla]

of course i knew that
i was just confussed
i was like
*shocked face*
*pauses*
*starts to say something*
*stops*
okay i think this may take me a minute.
i dont deal well with this kind of stuff.
its the add talking (and the lack of medication in the last month )

[RussianFox]

Friday
11:00 am
Everyone has slept in, weary from the festivities the night before. Big Buttocks, however, is in high spirits and rouses them with a rendition of “Good Morning Sunshine”. Naraku serves up his normal culinary delights, and the cast sit and eat in silence. Big Buttocks continues to sing at them, his repertoire including a selection of Christmas carols as Dec 25 happens to be next week.
11:07 am
Miroku happens to be sitting opposite Shippou. In between mouthfuls of porridge he looks up, and suddenly drops his spoon with a clatter.
Big Buttocks continues to entertain, this time with “Morning has broken”.
“My God!” Miroku exclaims, and everyone’s attention is focused on Shippou, whose drowsy eyes are half open.
“Good Lord!” Miroku states once more, “Shippou! You’ve got…stubble!”
Kagome spoon clatters onto the floor and even Inuyasha looks as stunned as a mullet who has just discovered he has lips.
“NoI’avent,” Shippou squeaks, and his voice has a high, hoarse quality to it.
The room is silent. “What?” Shippou exclaims. “I really don’t, do I?”
Shippou’s strange sounding voice echoes through the house.
Kouga breaks the uneasy silence with a sniggering remark- “Looks like morning isn’t the only thing that has broken!”
Kagome gasps, and Inuyasha has to think about this for a while.
Shippou looks distraught, and races out of the room with a high pitched yelp.
11:10 am
The dining room is filled with the chatter of the excited cast.
“I thought his voice was already broken!” Sango exclaims loudly as Naraku serves more breakfast. “Actually, I thought he’d already been through puberty! In fact, how old IS he?!”
Sesshoumaru quickly departs the room, as he always does when the subject of age comes up. Naraku toddles after him, calling “Diddums, don’t you want your waffles?!”
“I didn’t know that youkai went through puberty!” Kagome muses.
Inuyasha chokes on a bit of toast as some distant memory is reawakened.
“I remember when my voice broke…” Miroku reminisces, “It was the most embarrassing time of my life! Took a week to get back to normal.”
“Heh! Mine only took 2 days…” Kouga snorts.
“Mine was 3…” Inuyasha muses, and everyone stares. “What?!”
Kikyou is floating 10 cm above the table with her face in her porridge.
11:15 am
After a satisfying meal, Miroku stands up and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “I’d better go and see where Shippou’s got to. He could do with a bit of a male mentor right now…”
“And you think you’re it, do you?” Sango glares.
“Well…yeah! Why not me?”
“You might go putting filthy ideas in his head…”
Kouga stands up. “Hey, I’ll come!” After his “marriage” to Shippou, Kouga appears to have taken a little more interest in the kitsune’s welfare, though Kagome suspects that this is just because Shippou is so easy to tease.
“Inuyasha, why not go with them?” She suggests.
“What?” Inuyasha wipes away a milk moustache. “No way!”
Sango appears to think this is a good idea. “Yes! It’ll be like a male bonding session!”
“I’ll come too,” says a throaty voice emanating from underneath the table, and Kouga lifts the tablecloth to find Kikyou scrawling death poetry on the chairs.
“Uh, yeah…right.” Says Miroku, a little fazed, and declining to say the obvious. The four of them leave the room to go in search of Shippou.
“Gee, I hope our little one’ll be okay…” Says Kagome worriedly.
Sango replies, “Mm, Inuyasha doesn’t do too well when Kikyou’s around…”
11:42 am
Kagome and Sango are putting up Christmas decorations, and singing to Uptown Girl which is playing on Kagome’s speaker system. As yet, nothing has been heard from Big Buttocks regarding the daily task, and the cast are using this free time to the max.
Miroku and co have found Shippou in Bathroom 2, staring at himself in the mirror and trying to pluck out his ‘stubble’ with a pair of tweezers. He yelps in shock when he sees the three men and one dead person enter the room, and backs away in fear.
“Hey Shippou!” Says Miroku jovially. “Congratulations! You’re now a man!”
Shippou squeaks slightly.
After receiving a significant look from Miroku, Inuyasha tries his best to follow suit.
“Er…yeah! That’s…great. Now you…can…shave…and sing the tenor parts in Figaro…”
Shippou doesn’t look any less troubled- in fact he still looks utterly terrified.
“And you get chest hair! Like this!” Kouga exclaims and proceeds to show off his impressive crop.
Shippou is on the verge of fainting when Kikyou intervenes.
“Stop it! You’re scaring him!” She turns to Kouga and hisses, “Your collection ain’t as impressive as mine, and if you don’t leave now I’ll show you!”
11:46 am
Kouga, Miroku and Inuyasha are sitting in the living room, wide-eyed and speechless.
“What?!” Kagome exclaims. “You let Kikyou and Shippou be alone in the same room?!”
Sango is pacing up and down, biting her nails.
“And after you said that, Kouga, then what happened?” She asks worriedly.
Kouga answers the question with a far off expression on his face.
“No way!” Sango exclaims.
“I don’t think Kikyou’s behavior is really appropriate…” Kagome says, wringing her hands.
“Well, you’ve gotta remember that she’s dead,” Inuyasha says quietly.
Kagome is a tad annoyed. “That’s no excuse. Who knows what she’s done to our little Shippou? In that bathroom all alone…”
12:00 pm
The cast continue to argue about who should retrieve Shippou.
Sango says it should be Miroku, because he started everything in the first place.
Kagome says it should be Kouga, because he was the one who angered Kikyou.
Inuyasha says it should be Big Buttocks because he’s legally responsible for Shippou under act 2.31 of the Binding Contract. Unfortunately no one hears him- they’re all quarrelling.
Suddenly the bathroom door creaks open. Kikou steps out, holding Shippou in her arms.
The cast are completely silent.
Kagome is the first to speak.
“S..Shippou…Are you feeling any better?”
Shippou smiles and says in his new voice, “Mm! Kikyou and I had a talk, and she really helped me through it! In fact, if it wasn’t for Kikyou, I would be a wreck!”
Kikyou smiles benignly. Kouga finds the tension in the room unbearable and runs away with a scream.
“I’m just fine now! I’m really proud of myself and Kikyou is a really good conversationalist!”
Kikyou draws Shippou closer into her arms, “Yes we discovered we had lots in common!”
She pops a sherbet bomb into his mouth and they both beam at the stunned cast.
Kagome wobbles slightly and has to lean on Inuyasha for support.
12:30 pm
A beaming Naraku enters the room, followed by a disheveled-looking Sesshoumaru who plops down on the couch looking dazed.
“What’s wrong with him?” Sango asks.
“Hairball,” Naraku replies, removing his rubber gloves. “Now then. What do you want for lunch? I have gypsy ham and Brazilian zucchini-flavored crepes…”
“THIS IS BIG BUTTOCKS!”
“Oh, good morning,” Miroku says. “We wondered where you’d gone.”
“THIS IS BIG BUTTOCKS! HELLO! HELLO! FROM WOMBAT GULLY PLANT FARM!”
“What? Where on earth is that?” Kagome asks bemusedly.
“Sorry,” Says Big Buttocks, “I’ve been asked to put in some paid advertising material. Dot the show with various products. The producers get some extra budget from in-show product references. And it’s not only me. From now on, you have to finish every sentence you say with ‘Big Pete’s Peanuts are Perfect!’”
“No way!” A pale Sesshoumaru exclaims from his position lying down on the couch. “How humiliating!”
“Alternatively,” Says Big Buttocks, “You could say ‘Berlei Lingerie really supports me in times of need’. I’ll send you a list of products we’re advertising. I want you to start right away.”
“I’ll be contacting my agent,” Sesshoumaru mumbles and falls off the couch. Naraku gazes at him with motherly concern.
“Is that all you wanted to tell us, Big Buttocks, Big Pete’s Peanuts are perfect?” Miroku says with a chuckle.
“No. I’m announcing your next task, brought to you by Tactel-tykes Telecommunications. Individually, you’ll be cooking muffins. You can make them any flavor or type. We’ll have someone coming in to judge them, and the winner gets a weeks worth of extra food supplies. So get cracking, and always remember that Betty Crocker’s Cake mixes are best! You’ll find ingredients in the kitchen. Remember, the muffins must be your original design! Big Buttocks out…”
“Cooking. Sounds fun. Berlei Lingerie really supports me in times of need,” Kagome giggles. Inuyasha turns deep red and his eyes glaze over.
The fax machine on the kitchen top beeps and out of it comes a list of advertising product slogans which the cast examine. Naraku is already pulling muffin trays out of the cupboard. “I’ve been waiting for a chance like this!”
Sesshoumaru has somehow wedged himself under the couch.
(Note: The fax machine is not in the house for advertising reasons, though Hewlett-Packard have reported increased revenue. Kagome uses it to keep up with her homework from school, and Sesshoumaru is granted limited access to it to communicate with his agents and lawyers. The rest of the cast are somewhat confused at what it actually does, and Shippou did once try to fax himself out of the house and back to the Sengoku Jidai. Days later the producers received phone calls from a company somewhere in the Senegal, angry over cruelty to animals. The fax machine is now pass worded.)
1:00 pm
All of the cast except Sesshoumaru have started cooking.
“So, what type of muffins are you making, Shippou? Every funeral by Tobin Brothers is a special experience…” Kikyou says, and frowns.
“I’m making Cadbury chocolate chip ones,” He replies.
Inuyasha is working by himself in a small corner of the kitchen.
“So what are you doing, Inuyasha? Contact your Redwin Veterinary clinic today to get your dog neutered,” Miroku asks.
Inuyasha leans protectively over his muffin bowl and growls. “Making muffins, of course…” He mumbles distractedly and pours in some milk.
“Mm, touchy!” Miroku replies. “So, Sango, how are yours going? I understand that Weathervalley Champage and the Moulin Rouge DVD make for a romantic night in…”
“Contact Benny the hit-man to solve all your irritating stalker problems,” A tart Sango replies.
1:30 pm
All of the muffins are now in the oven and the cast are enjoying a light snack. Naraku sits on the couch and bathes Sesshoumaru’s head with a wet napkin.
“I wonder how long this in-program advertising thing will go on for? Big Pete’s peanuts are best…” Kagome says.
“I hope it’s not longer than a day. Buy the Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon DVD with extra Dragons and get the chance to win a Jacuzzi,” Kouga says hesitantly.
“So!” Miroku says jubilantly. “What type of muffins did everybody make? Your girlfriend will just love a dozen red roses from Ahmed’s 24 hour Flower drive in!”
“I made lemon and poppy seed. Buy Omacote Weed killer to get rid of wild plants you just don’t want,” Sango says grumpily.
“Make sure your baby’s not crying with Tinker Tots Tinny Winny House Intercom system!” Naraku exclaims happily. “Oh, I made a special recipe of my own- both savory and tart with special plants I grew from the garden!”
“Why are we bothering?” Shippou sulks. “We all know Naraku’s going to win.”
“Look positively!” Kagome says, “We’ll have our morning tea sorted out for a week! And we get a new visitor! Wenda’s counselling and physiotherapy services operate 24-7!”
“But none of us can cook!” Shippou exclaims. “Your food tastes like dirt, Sango, Kouga, Sesshoumaru and Miroku never cook, Kikyou isn’t allowed to cook and look what happened last time Inuyasha tried to make toast! Enishi’s fireproof kitchen appliances are cheap and effective! Maybe we should get one!” Shippou gives everyone a look.
Inuyasha has a queer looking smile on his face, and leans back on the couch. “Speak for yourself, runt,” He says smugly.
“What’s wrong with him?” Sango mutters. “He’s not smug. He’s never smug.”
Inuyasha opens one eye and Sango suddenly feels very insecure. Miroku picks up on this and does his best to look concerned in the way a sensitive new age guy does. Naraku looks worried and offers Miroku some laxative. Naraku finds his head stuffed between the couch cushions.
2:30 pm
“This is Big Buttocks! And you can trim down yours with Celine’s Celluloid Cellulite Formula!”
“Whaddyawant?” Kikyou asks.
“You’ve got a visitor. I think your muffins are ready! Are you ready to be judged? Make sure you’re always carrying a Maltex pocket knife!”
The doorbell rings, and Kagome opens the door to reveal a stout-looking rather google-eyed teenage girl wearing a brown school uniform. A lollipop is sticking out of her mouth. “Hi!” She exclaims. “I’m Yuuki Miaka! Here to judge your food!”
Miroku races forward. “Will you bear my child? Piccolo’s Nanny Service will care for the most troublesome of children!”
Miaka’s face looks rather blank, and Kagome has to lead her to the kitchen.
Eight trays of steaming hot muffins are sitting on the bench and Miaka immediately perks up. All of the trays are numbered, and each cast member has been assigned with an envelope with their corresponding number inside.
“I’ll get started, will I?” Miaka says, and without waiting for an answer, dives in. Kagome looks slightly troubled- it appears that the Suzaku no Miko’s legendary appetite has finally caught up with her and Sango inwardly remarks that Miaka could do with a bit of Celine’s Celluloid Cellulite Formula herself.
Little more than 20 minutes pass before Miaka has tasted lemon and poppyseed (Sango), Special Savoury (Naraku), apple and cinnamon (Kagome), Cadbury Chocolate Chip (Shippou), Plain (Kikyou), banana, sesame seed and orange peel (Miroku), veal and spice (Kouga), macadamia and honey (Inuyasha) and a hairball (Sesshoumaru).
Miaka comments on each of them as she goes, and when she reaches the final one, the picture on her face is of one of pure bliss. “MMM!” She exclaims. “Oh, this one is the best! Number five! Oh, mm, yum…perfect!” Without further prompting she eats the whole lot.
“Any bets that’s Naraku’s lot,” Shippou remarks grumpily.
The rest of the cast are ripping open their envelopes. Sesshoumaru has wandered up to take his place beside Naraku, and looks on as Naraku reads his number.
2:33 pm
Naraku still hasn’t said anything, and Sesshoumaru demands to know what is going on. “Big Buttocks! What is the meaning of this? Naraku has number seven. There must be something wrong!”
No sound emits from the speakers, and Naraku’s bottom lip trembles as he desperately fights to hold back tears.
“Don’t worry Narie-poo, it’s all a mistake,” Sesshoumaru comments.
The rest of the cast look round in bewilderment. “Come on, who’s got number five?” Kikyou demands.
Inuyasha grunts and turns to walk away, but nobody misses the giant smirk plastered across his face.
“It’s YOU!” Naraku points with a trembling finger. “Y…you! B…but you can’t cook!” Naraku bursts into wracking sobs. “I’ve…I’ve been beaten by a hanyou!”
Sesshoumaru declines to remind him that he is a half youkai and leads him away to be comforted.
“What was that, Shippou, eh?” Inuyasha taunts. “Can’t cook, can’t I?”
Kagome looks at him worriedly and the Big Buttocks counseling team hold a council at Inuyasha’s sudden display of self-confidence.
“Poor Naraku must be shattered. Call O’Briens to get your broken windows fixed,” Shippou says.
The cast groan and Shippou runs to hide.
3:00 pm
Miaka leaves after hanging around to investigate the pantry. Naraku is too depressed to stop her, and sits on the couch with his shoulders hunched.
“Don’t worry, it must be a mistake!” Sesshoumaru says for the 78th time. “There’s no way you couldn’t win.”
Naraku smiles wanly, giving his tear-stricken face a most peculiar look. “It’s okay. He was better. There’s nothing I can do.”
Meanwhile, Kagome is wringing her hands as she tries to persuade an oddly confident Inuyasha to at least shake hands with Naraku.
“Nup! I won fair and square,” He says and shuts his eyes.
5:00 pm
Confession cam has been cancelled, as Big Buttocks has to re-organize the dinner schedule. Naraku isn’t proving much help. Kouga is trying to remove his lips from a bottle opener he found in the kitchen.
7:00 pm
The cast are all hungry, as there is no food. Naraku hasn’t moved from the couch and is the sad picture of a man broken. The cast are bored and listless. Miroku feels inclined to entertain himself by taking out the rubbish.
7:02 pm
“Sango, you’d better come here! Let Ilford Photographic Paper brighten your day!”
“What’s up, Miroku? Berlei lingerie gets me out of tight spots…”
“I think you should take a look at this…A Mars a day lets you work, rest and DDR…”
“Good grief!”
7:05 pm
Inuyasha is sitting on the couch looking bewildered. Sango and Miroku stand over him looking like angry schoolmarms.
“What is it?” Inuyasha snorts.
“We put it to you, dog demon…” Miroku bellows… “That you CHEATED!”
Inuyasha finds a used packet of Betty Crocker Macadamia Muffin Mix thrust in his face, and he looks utterly terrified. Naraku looks up with tear filled eyes.
“N…No way!” Inuyasha stutters.
“Don’t try to deny it! Jacobs Irish Biscuits bring out the leprechaun in you!” Sango says.
Inuyasha looks cornered, and his eyes dart as he looks for a possible escape. Finally he crawls under the couch where he finds himself face to face with his brother.
“Don’t let cheaters get the better of you, and call up the piracy informant hotline on 00638,” Sesshoumaru says.
Inuyasha yelps and runs out of the room.
“That proves it,” Miroku states. “Inuyasha cheated. Naraku is the true winner. Kellogs Cornflakes- neither corny or flaky!.”
Kagome looks rather downcast. “Cheer up!” Shippou says, “Just be glad he didn’t cook anything he made up. Miaka would be dead by now if he had! Johnson and Johnson blackhead cream makes sure you don’t look like a pizza!”
“I suppose…”
8:00 pm
Naraku is a hanyou renewed as he potters round the kitchen, doing the washing up. He hums as he does so, and the rest of the cast feel happy as they look at the smile on his face.
“At least he’s back to normal,” Kouga says.
Outside, Inuyasha sits alone with the packet of Betty Crocker mix.
“My best friend’s Betty…” He hums. “FEH!”

[Esyla]

aww.
he cheated.
that was uncool.
i would have liked it better if he had just done really well.

[RussianFox]

if he did those by himself, the judge girl would have collapsed in comma that second.

[HELLFIRE]

IY m3 movie back up again, but it seems the subs are in Chinese...
oh well, it's a chance to see what happens anyways









Regards