FullMetal*Panic!

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:" A beer please, and one for the road."

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this before

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, they're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

And finally, there was the person who sent fifteen different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Someone is extremely bored today......Hmmmmm.

Some where funny, I chuckled .

3 ropes where riding out in the wild west and stopped in a town. THey were thirsty fro their ride and decided to go into a bar.

When they get to the bar, they saw a sign that said "No ropes allowed". They looked at each otehr and democratically chose one of themselves to go inside.

So the first rope went in and sat down at the bar. "Hey 'tender! Give me a beer." he said. The bartender, whom looked like he had a bad run in with the local indians glared at him with his one good eye and said: "Are you a rope?", the rope said "Yes I am". THe bar tender then grabbed him, pummled the heck of of him and through him through the widow. "Stay outta here ya no good rope!!"

Beaten, he pulled himself up surrounded by his 2 ridin' buddies and said "Don't go in there, they're reeeel rough!". One of the ramaining ropes tightened his belt and said "Theyer not getting away with that!" and so he walked, as ropes do, into the bar. He sat down at the bar and demanded to be served... Tender asked "are you a rope?", "yes" was the ropes reply and like his friend he got the *@#&@* beat out of him and was thrown through the window.. "Geez he's right... they're really tough!"

Well the remaining rope was the more intellegent of the three and knew exactly what he needed to do. He tied himself into a perfect bow and frazeled his top end, then bounced his way into the bar. He plopped down in the stool right infront of the bartender and said, "TENDER!!! Give me a beer!" the desheveled 'onery lookin tender eyed him up and said "Are you a rope?", the rope looked at him and said "Nope! I'm afrayed knot!"

I laughed ya made my day!





Regards

Taurec wrote:Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this before

Isn't it, "you've heard this bull before"? (Which I have, countless times. )

You are correct Sir ....

My girlfriend demanded that I took her out somewhere expensive...
.... so I took her to the gas station.. <grin>

Hhehehe nice one

lol

very nice. I loled at the tom jones one

N1 Tau!!! *ROTF *

1. When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, a doctor couldn't help
but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him. "Well sir... it's going to
take at least five days to get the parts in. As for the cost, there's no way to
tell until we get in there and see exactly what the problem is."

2. What happens if you get a gigabyte?

It megahertz.




Regards

A byte walks into a bar and orders a pint. Bartender asks him "What's wrong?" Byte says "Parity error." Bartender nods and says "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."

What's with all of these Computer jokes...


Here's a lame Mac user to a PC user joke


"Hey I got a virus on my PC"

"Yeah, so here's what you do... Open windows"

"Yeah"

"And throw it out..."

... this thread needs... a feminine touch?

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Alabama and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done.

The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. On the first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married an Ohio girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything, but by the third day… most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and telephone a landscaper.

You gotta love them Buckeye Girls.

Yes, I live in Ohio btw, the states the girls are from don't really matter for the international aspect of this forum, Alabama, Florida, they easily could have been from any state *shrug*