Things I learned in Texas
Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:58 am
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe.
If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.
The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2.
Onced and twiced are words.
People actually grow and eat okra.
Green grass DOES burn.
When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.
Fix-in-to is one word.
There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.
"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.
"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?
"You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.
You measure distance in minutes or hours.
You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.
You carry jumper cables for your own car.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.
You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but, require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.
The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world.
"You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.
Texans understand these jokes.
Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe.
If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.
The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2.
Onced and twiced are words.
People actually grow and eat okra.
Green grass DOES burn.
When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.
Fix-in-to is one word.
There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.
"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.
"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?
"You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.
You measure distance in minutes or hours.
You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.
You carry jumper cables for your own car.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.
You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but, require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.
The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world.
"You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.
Texans understand these jokes.
