SHIT HAPPENS

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Taurec
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SHIT HAPPENS

Post by Taurec »

SHIT HAPPENS
in various world religions


TAOISM: Shit happens.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "Shit happens".

ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)

JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?

ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.

COMMUNISM. Equal shit happens to all people.

CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.

PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.

SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you're on our shit list.

ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.

UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.

RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.

JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?

REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?

MYSTICISM: What weird shit!

AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?

ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit!

NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?

AZTEC: Cut out this shit!

QUAKER: Let's not fight over this shit.

FORTEANISM: No shit??

12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.

VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!

NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.

DEISM: Shit just happens.

EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.

SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.

BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.

SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.

HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.

WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!

HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.

THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the shit that happens.

DIANETICS: Your mother gave you shit before your were born.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.

JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.

MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.

HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.

BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.

STOICISM: This shit is good for me.

OBJECTIVISM: Our shit is good for you.

EST: If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.

REAGANISM: Don't move; the shit will trickle down.

FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.

CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.

EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.

DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.

RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.

CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.

MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.

RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money.
-

"Can I help you?, "you know this section is.." she broke off her sentence as the man walked towards her and nodded, "I think you can Captain".
Tessa looked down, "I haven't been called Captain in 4 years," Wha..what do you want?"
He gave her a devious grin, "I'm here to make sure you keep your promise."
-
๏̯͡๏﴿ <- they know....
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█ Raaaaaaaaawr!!!
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JelliCelli
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Post by JelliCelli »

The, uh, Red Cross one sums it up perfectly! LOL :lol:
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naiomi
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Post by naiomi »

I cant believe this shit! This is so funny lol
You don't know if something is realistic, until it becomes reality.

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KiLlEr
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Post by KiLlEr »

yah, but some of it is bullshit. LOL
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Chief Petty Officer Klerk
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Post by Chief Petty Officer Klerk »

Thats some funny shit!
Anime: its not about the big guns, Its about the bouncies!
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Pyrite
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Post by Pyrite »

*watches as members of every single major and minor world religion, as well as several world organisations, beat the, well, you-know-what out of Taurec*

:sweat:
*hides shotgun, whistles innocently*
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JelliCelli
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Post by JelliCelli »

Just be grateful there are no political cartoons or words inappropriately expressed by a major religious leader ;)
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HELLFIRE
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Post by HELLFIRE »

:lol: :lol: *thumbs up*

...I needed that





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