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[FIC] Chapter 13/?? THE TRUTH SHALL SET THEE FREE

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 6:46 am
by HELLFIRE
FINALLY!!

No excuse this time. Part to do with 'running out of ideas,' part to do
with 'stare at it and get a complete blank back.' :-D

Right now, no definitive plans where I want to take this. TDD & co.
STILL in limbo since Chap 5, tightened up (I hope) the conspiracy side
of things...

Things DEFINATELY going to go in:
- Sousuke meets the Chidori family (hopefully the whole family next chap)
- Sousuke & NY nightlife... now HOW to explain HIM to the NY cops? :think:

Things I'm HOPING to work in, eventually:
- Sousuke & his new Mithril CO (since TDD's out of contact)
- MAYBE bring over Kaname's friends from Japan (Kyouko, Mizuki, Ren & Shinji)
- Sousuke on rescue mission
- Tessa captured by her own brother? / someone else (which was
oiriginally going to be the crux of the story before I ended it)
- ??? <-- any more ideas / suggestions?

Enjoy, Regards, and Happy New Years!

------------------------


POTUS regarded the plate in front of him. A thick slab of ham, four eggs sunny-side up, a pile of greasy bacon strips, a heaping of hash browns... how many calories and ounces of saturated fat was that now? I always stop counting at 400 he sheepishly admitted to his personal physician at his last physical. To which he was put on a strict diet for the good of his age he'd been told, but like that stopped him? He'd been partial to hearty meals, and damned if someone was going to start telling him what to eat.

Unfortunately, what was telling him not to eat the meal before him was something entirely out of his control. The television set in the room was parroting the same thing over and over again. "Our top story this morning is the shooting death of the Canadian Consul General..." At first, he was hoping it was a mistake, an overzealous reporter gone overboard with his hyperbole -- God knew there were enough of those types in journalism -- but no correction was forthcoming. Minutes later, other news stations had picked up the story and were repeating the same thing. Even the White House's own press-summary sheet, The Early Bird, contained no less than 3 articles and 6 analysis/commentary pieces about the affair. Goddamnit!! he swore. We killed the Canadian Consul General? This was sure to ignite a firestorm, as if he didn't have a big enough one as it was. Hincks, you slippery Son-of-a-Bitch! What are you playing at now?

"Mr President, Senator Hincks to see you, sir."

"Send him in." he replied flatly. "J.R. Sorry to catch you this early, but this was the only time free in the schedule."

"Nothing like an early wake up call to get the day started," Hincks fired back. The trenches were dug, and the battle flags raised. "I see you've been following the news, Mr President."

"So what's your take on it, if you don't mind my asking."

"Off the record? Good riddance! On the record, it was the Consul's own damn fault!"

"Come off it, J.R.! That's bullshit, and you know it!"

"Bullshit, Mr President? You heard CNN! There was the tip about terrorist activity...!"

"Possible, Senator!"

"...and as far as I'm concerned, those men on the SWAT team deserve a medal for protecting our nation, at great risk to their lives I might add!"

"...and in the process, they shot and killed the representative of a friendly nation!"

"Canada is no friend of ours, Mr President. Their PM's as much proved that in the last few months. The Consul..."

"Spare me that rant, Senator! You've accused the man of everything under the sun as it is, and this latest accusation doesn't help anything!"

Hincks smile oddly resembled that of a shark. "Now what makes you think I made such an accusation? I haven't said anything." The grin grew wider by the second. "I've gotten ahold of some interesting... information, Mr President. It really makes for a good read." Theatrically, Hincks pulled out a thick folder from his briefcase.

Now you're beginning to sound like a damned fool! "What information, J.R."

"The source of this information is top secret..."

And therefore, conveniently unrevealable in a Court of Law. Goddammnit! "Can the cheap theatrics, J.R. It's stifling, even for you!"

"I'd hardly call what I have in this folder 'cheap theatrics,' Mr President. It's a preliminary report I've gotten detailing the LAPD's run-in last night."

"And?"

"Confirms what the newsies've been saying. Classic terrorist op, hand-off. The Consul was in on it."

"Jesus!" POTUS scanned the document. Whoever or whatever had been handed off hadn't been determined yet, while on the Consul's side, things were under 'preliminary investigation,' with 'tentative links made' to an 'unspecified foreign power.'

If only they knew POTUS thought. "So why come to me at all, J.R. You've been busy enough the last few months digging from here to China on the cruiser thing."

"Something you've obviously been hindering since the beginning..."

POTUS' rage finally exploded. "BULLSHIT!"

Hincks let another smile crease his face briefly. "THIS is a direct attack on our nation. THIS is evidence that whoever's doing it is within our borders. THIS is something you obviously want to sit on, and I'll be DAMNED if someone says I can't investigate!"

"You're out of line, Senator!"

"Am I, Mr President? I've got mounting evidence..."

"Get out! Get out, damn you!"

Hincks calmly retrieved his things and left. "Enjoy being at the top while you can, Mr President. You won't be there for long."

His secretary buzzed through. "Mr President, I have the Canadian Prime Minister on Line 1, the Canadian Ambassador on Line 2..."

"Give me a moment, please.." With that, he walked to his private bathroom, shut the door as tight as it would go, and let loose with every bit of foul invective he could for the next ten minutes.

Coming back somewhat calmer, "Put me through..."

* * *

New York she thought. Home to her for close to eight years of her life, before she returned to Tokyo to complete her high school education. So many memories here she remembered. Father and Ayume are here as well. Oh GOD! What am I going to tell them? Her mind wrestled with that thought. Father doesn't even know what's happened to me in the last six months, and how do I explain Sousuke? Though her father had grudgingly allowed her to return and live in Tokyo on her own, one of the stipulations was no unnecessary distractions like boyfriends or lovers, period. Sousuke's just a friend from school... a close friend... But the foolishness of that statement was upon her before she'd even started mentally composing it. Sousuke meant more to her than a close friend, she knew that now in her heart; whether she was ready to openly admit it to anyone was another matter, especially her family.

She wondered what her father's reaction would be to it, knowing first, that the apple of his eye was a Whispered, if he'd even understand what that entailed; second, that a top-secret organization had assigned a bodyguard not much older than herself to guard her 24/7 with less-than-complimentary results to those around her; third, in the process of guarding her had turned her life upside-down but won her heart completely. Father's going to have a heart attack over this! she grumbled. And Ayume... all she'd let on was that she'd found Sousuke "interesting," but Ayume was perceptive enough, she knew. She'll be on this inside two seconds!

How do I explain this?
She longed for Kyouko's cheerfulness, or Ren's unshakable calmness, or Mizuki's precious friendship... It's been less than four days, yet it feels like an eternity! I hope they're all right.

Sousuke was sitting quietly by her, somewhat behaving himself... kinda. During the flight to New York, they'd both been provided with a change of clothes, to better 'blend in,' as their new contact from Mithril, had said.

Tourists, ick! Why'd we have to dress like tourists! Sousuke, of course, provided his own brand of... unique analysis.

"Kaname, the secret of keeping a low-profile is to present to people what they expect to see. Our previous cover got us out of Japan, but with the recent turn of events..."

She silenced any further discussion on that topic with a firm glare. A part of her didn't care to relive what had just happened last night. It was just all too... surreal. A bad dream she wished she could wake up from to find it had only happened in her subconscious. That she hadn't seen a man that had extended the hand of friendship to her shot dead in front of her. That she hadn't been taken half-way across the world to meet an unknown fate. That she hadn't seen a side of Sousuke she feared was growing stronger by the day, while the other she hoped did exist receed further into oblivion. So many things she wished hadn't happened.

* * *

"Francis... Are you...?"

"Of course, Miss Chidori. My door is always open. Please, sit."

"I, uh... I read some more on what you gave me, and..."

"And?"

"I'm... confused. This... this is ALL true?"

"All true." His voice was calm and level.

"And this is what they're... the United States... is REALLY going to do to...?"

He put down his pen and took a deep breath. "I don't want to sound patronizing, Miss Chidori, but you sound like a small child who's just discovered the people out in the world aren't always very friendly."

"I..."

"Another way to put it is, 'All nations want peace, but they want a peace that suits them.'"

She groaned. "That sounds like something Sousuke would..."

"Surprisingly, it
is a quote from a military man. John Arbuthnot Fisher, turn-of-the-century Royal Navy Admiral, just before World War One. Ask Mr Sagara about him later if you want, but military history aside, his quote fairly accurately summed up the world situation at the time."

"And you think that applies here?"

"Well, I wouldn't say a direct war
per se, but given you past experiences..." He paused a moment, realizing he was treading on sensitive territory. "I've already told you how I think this Whispered business will turn out when it's made public. It simply can't be swept under the carpet and buried, much as some people would like it to be. And it is a resource too valuable for any nation to simply ignore. You know how important oil is to any modern economy, correct? Whispered will be no different."

"Japan is one of the top importers of oil in the world, I know that..."

"And I'm sure you're aware how hard it is for Japan and other Western Nations to ensure that tap to crude oil keeps open, simply because no one knows who is controlling the other end of that tap. It's the same thing with
Whispered. Who's to determine, on an INTERNATIONAL scale, who controls Whispered? A better question is whether anyone has the unilateral right to. If it were just one nation, you'd have alot of screaming and backroom deals even before you could think up that idea. The UN? Possibly, but not likely in my view. The UN has reach, but how far it's influence would be felt is a metaphysical debate. That's where Mithril comes in. A supra-governmental force operating in the shadows, plausible deniability I think they call it these days, that at least has a good chance of keeping a lid on this."

"So the anti-terrorist stuff..."

"Smoke-screen. Keeping Whispered well and hidden for now is our main job right now, but..."

She managed a forced smile. "There has to be a but?"

"Isn't there always? The Gaulun crisis has the potential to blow the lid on everything. I'm sorry Miss Chidori, but if you've come to ask if there's ever going to be hope that you can return to your normal life any time soon, I'm going to have to tell you flat out 'not likely in the foreseeable future.' There is more at stake here than the life of one Japanese high school girl... no offense intended." he added as gracefully as he could.

She sighed and sat heavily into her seat. "This is going to keep me up nights," she said offhandedly as she could. But she couldn't laugh at her own joke.
This is a fate I couldn't wish on my own worst enemy!

"Francis, there's one more thing I needed to ask... umm... if it's..."

"I'll answer it if I can."

"Umm..."

Reading her uncertainty, he answered. "It goes back to what I told you about nations wanting peace. Hincks aside, I can't fault the US for looking after its own interests. However, they're talking about people, and that is what Mithril tries to keep in mind when they go out on these
Whispered jobs. That is not some damned oil well at the other end of the paper trail, but a person! A living, breathing human being who never asked for this fate, and can't alter it even if they wanted to! I certainly believe there's people out there smart enough to realize that, but people like Hincks..." Darkness clouded his eyes as he repeated that name.

"I'm sorry about that, Miss Chidori. I hope that I've answered your questions."


* * *

"Excuse me, I'm here to see Shunya Chidori."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Does a daughter need an appointment to see her father?" She quickly sauntered off, not giving the receptionist a chance to answer.

"Wait! Miss! Miss!"

Straight into the offices, turn right at the end of the hall, down a bit, third door on the left. Long ago, she'd come to the UN as part of a school trip, useless as she thought it was at the time. Later on, when she'd matured more, she often came down to see her father; he always tried his best to ensure his door would be open to her. She hoped that policy would still be in place.

There it was she saw. Shunya Chidori -- High Comissioner, Environment. Her hand moved on its own, knocking on the solid wood door.

What should I say first?

The door opened.

He was in there with someone else.

Oh, no! I caught him at a bad time!

"Who are you?"

Huh, why did he...?

"I'm sorry miss, but I'm very busy right now. If you don't have an appointment..." The door began to close.

Hey, wait!

"Father! It's me!" Why doesn't he recognize me? Then it hit her. She'd cut her hair and dyed it, but that...

"It's Kaname..."

"Kaname?" Her father just stood there as if someone had spoken to him in a foreign language.

Loud screams and a commotion outside caught both their attentions and spared them the indignity of the current confusion. Oh, no! No, No, No, No, NO!! He DIDN'T!!

He did. Outside, Security had their weapons drawn and aimed at Sousuke. Sousuke himself had his gun to one of the secretaries' head, threatening to shoot her if anyone came close. Her immediate reaction was automatic. Breaking into a run towards him, her hand grabbed the first heavy object it could find and flung it at his head.

"SOUSUKE!!"

The heavy porcelin paperweight hit perfectly on target. Sousuke was knocked down, his gun flying from his hand. She jumped on top of him, screaming at him in japanese. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?! THIS IS NEW YORK, THIS IS THE U.N., THIS IS FRIGGIN' NORMAL LIFE!! AND THAT MEANS WE DON'T WAVE LOADED GUNS AROUND AND HOLD PEOPLE HOSTAGE LIKE THAT?! YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN THAT INTO YOUR THICKHEAD YET???"

"Kaname," he began quite reasonably, "no matter where we are, I am still your bodyguard. Your life is my direct responsibility..."

"SOUSUKE, YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!! WE'RE HERE TO SEE MY FATHER, AND YOU JUST HAVE TO PUT ON YOUR WORST BEHAVIOR AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!?!" She felt her bloodpressure rise by sixty points after he'd fallen back into his usual self.

"Kaname, you had to go see your father, I am aware of that. However, since these people were inhibiting you, I thought..."

"THAT'S YOUR DAMN PROBLEM, YOU DON'T THINK!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU..."

"Kaname..."

"SHUT UP, SOUSUKE!!"

"A good idea to consider for yourself, Kaname," her father interjected, trying to restore some order to the chaos. Switching over to english, "All of you, back to your duties. Security, you're dismissed." At first, it seemed no one wanted to leave the scene, but gradually they began to drift apart, the show was over for now. Shunya looked down at his eldest daughter and her...

He sighed. Turning to his guest, "Minister, I'm sorry but our meeting will have to be rescheduled for another day. I have this... personal matter to deal with," gesturing to the two teenagers on the floor.

"Kaname... I think I'd better take the rest of the day off so I can talk to you, in private. I hope for your sakes, there is a good explanation for all this."

* * *

"Do you remember this place, Kaname?"

"How could I forget, father?" Here was one of the most beautiful stretches of the river. Many of her fondest memories of childhood in New York were from here , taking weekend family walks with her father and sister. She could vividly remember every sunday where they'd come down from home, walk along the river and mingle with the people there. At noon, they'd stop for lunch -- Japanese, preferably -- and sit on the wide, green spaces to eat. Just before leaving, her father would buy three ice cream cones -- with three scoops, of course -- before going home.

Later on, this place became a good place for calm, quiet reflection. A bad day at school, or a poor mark on a test. I wonder how this place is to tell him about Whispered she wondered.

Shunya stopped by an ice cream cart to purchase two 3-scoop triple-chocolate fudge and gave one to his daughter. "Somehow, I know we're going to need this for our little talk."

It was pretty bengin, considering. He started by asking how Tokyo was, how her friends were doing, which university she wanted to go to. She answered, and asked how Ayume was doing, how things at the UN were going... but both knew it was simply a build-up to the really important questions. They got to it by the second scoop in their ice cream.

"Kaname, who was the boy you were with earlier?"

Her reaction was totally unexpected. She began to laugh. Shunya wasn't sure if she was doing it out of malice or what. He chose the middle road. He let his daughter get whatever was in her system out before pressing again. "Kaname?"

"I... I'm sorry father." She wiped her eyes, struggling to catch her breath. Strangely, it felt so good to laugh. She hadn't had a good one for so long now. "The boy..." she tried to start, but didn't finish. She broke out laughing again.

"Kaname, are you alright?" her father asked, now genuinely concerned. What was up with her now?

Her outburst drew attention from others in the park, some stupefied and exactly what was so funny that a person could laugh this long, others thinking she'd lost it completely, and a few more conjuring darker explanations than that to explain things.

"Okay, I'm alright." she finally got out. "The boy..." she started, taking a deep breath.

"Yes, Kaname? The boy..." Shunya prodded, his temper wearing quite thin now.

"He's my secret lover."

* * *

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 3:31 pm
by dd
So, what's Sousuke going to experience in NYC?

-Might want to visit the site of the Twin Towers because of his feelings about terrorists and the way they effect peoples' lives? A way to recharge his batteries as well, if he ever had doubts.

-Sousuke on the NYC subways?

-Sousuke meets the street gangs?

-Sousuke follows Kaname into Macy's department store? 'Pleasant' interactions with store security?

-Sousuke visits the Statue of Liberty? Decides to try and instruct the guards on the Statue in better techniques?

-Kaname using the 'TAXI' move again?

-Kaname (and her tail) visit Ayame's school? Meet her friends?

-Sousuke discovers an unrelated plot (eg terrorists bringing a tanker or cargo ship with a dirty bomb) into NY harbor? Gets unwanted notoriety by stopping things. Maybe gives away his position, whatever, so he needs to be on the run?

-Is there any reason for Tessa to show up in NYC? If she gets kidnapped, would Sousuke have to choose between going after her and staying by Kaname's side?

Just letting the brain run wild...

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 5:05 pm
by HELLFIRE
@dd
Well, at least it isn't about how short it is :-D
dd wrote:I don't think US policy would be cut and dry. Any one person or group's plan might be, but there would be a big polarity issue. And public opinion would be big, if things became clear to the people. For a government like the US to take a darker angle, things would have to stay secret, and it might not stay that way with political shenanigans and the eventual change of administrations. Once personal safety issues hit the scene (ie it would potentially be dangerous to know the secret), some politicians would possibly try to go public just so they don't disappear without a trace and without significant repercussions.

I think some folks would want to treat Whispered like crude oil, as something to be tapped. I think others would want to treat them like nuclear or biological weapons, something to prevent terrorists or smaller nations from getting. Maybe even Cold War types of relationships.

And I think it would go beyond the national level if it ever went public. Companies might want in. Organizations.

If I were in the government, given this info, and knowing that a)other nations were involved and b)like anything else, info will leak out into the public domain somewhere and some when, I would probably push to make everything public...take an angle as protectors of the Whispered...and then use huge national resources to tap into the Whispered. Incentives for Whispered to bring themselves in and end their uncertainty might work. Might even get an international consensus on the matter. Someone would want to assess the resource...are Whispered evenly placed throughout the population (ie would China and India have a sh@tload) or clustered? That might have an effect on what people try for or would agree to.
Whew! Okay, this is my own views on the US / Mithril thing: US supports
Mithril, unofficially, because it in part serves US interests (the anti-terror
stuff). What isn't known to the US is the Whispered thing, at
least not all of it. Hincks, as I said in this chap, sees it as a potential
leverage for the Presidency, and a way to increase US prestige (or
whatever you want to call it).

Right now the Mithril / Whispered thing is polarized between POTUS
and Hincks, with POTUS trying to keep Hincks and those supporting
him / his viewpoint in the dark as long as possible (aka. the bunch that
want Whispered as a resource and nothing more).

Getting into the 'inspired by real life events' bit of things:
- FMP! saw the unprovoked attack on a US warship by forces unknown'
and this has the same effect as 9-11 or the attack on the USS Cole --
someone did it, we want answers, and we demand someone's head!
- The death of the Consul, and the 'tentative links to an unspecified
foreign power' only adds another feather to the argument something
isn't right and it needs to be fixed.

Control of Whispered is a goal, and the prev two points are only stepping
stones towards it, in my view, as well as issues to cloud the whole 'thing
that has to remain secret' till the eventual administration changeover.
dd wrote:B) The SWAT Team being in on things. And a foreign official killed. That angle has a lot of holes to me if I was reading about it in the newspaper as a citizen. If I was in the governement, especially in one of the Agencies, it would raise a red flag. Folks no doubt would start sniffing around. The plot itself may be in danger of being discovered if the wrong people get involved. Especially if Mithril drops hints in the right places.
...well, I'll admit I've probably dug myself into a hole with this event.
I've tried to tie some of it up with the exchange between Hincks and
POTUS, but I'm trying to leave it open ended for now as I let the
investigation, and finger-pointing, run in the background. For sure in
the future, this is going to haunt POTUS and Mithril alike.

Something I've had rolling in my head is a conspiracy within Mithril
to DELIBERATELY cut the Consul off from support (ref. Chap 12),
but I'm not sure exactly what I want to do with it yet.

For now, it's playing as another card in Hinck's hand for the Presidency
and to force Mithril / Whispered into the open and under US control.
dd wrote:C) If certain folks get Kaname's name, her father will likely be sought out by any number of someones for any number of things. Things can get real complicated real fast.
Well, with Sousuke in the mix, it's gonna get REAL complicated, REAL fast.
No plans yet to involve the Chidori family in any problems yet, but thx
for that idea dd :-D

As for Sousuke in NYC:

Not sure HOW I want to fit WTC into the story. I had an idea of having
K+S actually witnessing the event, but that's just an idea for now.

Sousuke vs. some toughs, something like what you had during your
Sousuke+Tessa date scene caught my eye. Kaname takes Sousuke to
a nightclub, but while he can dance ballroom, dancing in a dance club
ain't his forte, so she storms off in a fury, to be picked up by another
club patron. Sousuke, of course, reacts his usual way, which leads to a
stint in the NYPD slammer.

Sousuke + Ayume interaction... Samantha dropped it from hers, but
I am rather fascinated what'd come out of that, knowing your
younger sister had the hots for your boyfriend. Another idea I had
was Ayume had fallen in with some rather unsavory elements, and
Sousuke affects her rescue with his usual commando dash...

Sousuke + Chidori family interaction... still figuring this one out. I don't
want to do a Samatha-ripoff *Samantha, if you're still reading this, I
really LOVED the way you played that one out!! :-D*

Thanks for thinking out loud, dd! Didn't spark anything off immediately,
but it just may lead somewhere!







Regards

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 5:40 pm
by dd
More thinking out loud:

Sousuke pisses off Papa ------> Kaname told to ditch the loser --------> conflict. Ayame's school (or class trip) caught up in some kind of Bad Thing (terrorism...kidnapping...gang warfare...etc) ----------> Sousuke to the rescue ----------> maybe Sousuke isn't such a bad guy after all (or maybe he's worse than initially thought). Gains favor of police, or their undying emnity.

Also a good way to lead Ayame into a major crush....

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 5:47 pm
by HELLFIRE
dd wrote:Sousuke pisses off Papa ------> Kaname told to ditch the loser --------> conflict. Ayame's school (or class trip) caught up in some kind of Bad Thing (terrorism...kidnapping...gang warfare...etc) ----------> Sousuke to the rescue ----------> maybe Sousuke isn't such a bad guy after all (or maybe he's worse than initially thought). Gains favor of police, or their undying emnity.

Also a good way to lead Ayame into a major crush....
Now THIS I think I can work with... and you're right, it'd give Ayume
a chance to get a crush on our dear Sergeant here :-D Now just have to
work out HOW to get Ayume (+ co.?) into that BAD Thing :think:




Regards

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 5:59 pm
by dd
Well... :think:

Could tie it in with something that no one wants damaged that Sousuke could a) damage during rescue, or b)save along with the kids

eg visit to Museum of Natural history on a class trip. Kidnapping for ransom by crazed folks or someone using it as a distraction for something (theft, terrorist act, etc)

eg visit to Statue of Libery or Ellis Island with class, with terrorist attack (more poignant if Sousuke visits WTC site earlier, to show him why he never wants terrorists to succeed if he can help it).

eg something off the wall like class visits a monastery with brewery/winer, but holding deep dark secret that kids accidently stumble on (ie drug or weapons/chemical manufacturing)

eg Class bus trapped in one of the tunnels or on one of the bridges by some heinous plot

eg something at the theatre (NOT opera... :-D )

etc.

etc.

Posted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 5:17 am
by HELLFIRE
...no worries, you did waaay too good on the Opera for someone to
easily shamelessly copy, dd :-D Rolling around the idea of getting
Ayume into a situation, and PLAUSIBLY getting Sousuke involved --
somehow, a technically CO-less Sergeant from a top-secret organization
don't just walk to a hostage situation and offer his services -- in her
rescue.

Thx again dd!




Regards

Posted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 2:14 pm
by dd
:-D Most CO-less operatives don't do that.

We're talking Sousuke here (and he already stepped out of line in Khanka to rescue blue-locks).

I don't know if the word 'plausible' applies to him... :lol:

Be fun to see what you eventually come up with.

Another :idea: Maybe Sousuke and Kaname go (as chaperons, guests, etc) with the class and get caught up in the mess.

Posted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 10:33 pm
by HELLFIRE
:idea: Came to me today: I haven't done much humor in my fic, other
than the 'Kaname keeping Sousuke in line' stuff... and I haven't done
any mecha, so why not this:

Ayume's school has been taken hostage, and Shunya, Kaname & Sousuke
are called over. Inaction / lack of action on the NYPD's side gets Sousuke
in gear. NY SWAT Teams has a few Bonta-kun suits, but they're not
fully checked out yet, and who better to get them going than their
inventor? :-D Cue the Bonta-kun squad rescue scene, Ayume's carried
out in Bonta-kun's arms, Sousuke realizes he may have overstepped
his bounds, so he discreetly makes himself scarce. Playing innocent, he
steps out to the waiting Chidori clan. Mithril comes to drag his a$$ to
a courtmartial, Ayume clings to his arms, so does Kaname -- cue
the sibling rivalry, Shunya's of course, less than thrilled... Sousuke's his
usual REALLY tensed-up self as everyone's bickering around him

// goes to start fleshing this out

BTW, any comments ya want to add about Chap 13, dd? :-D





Regards

Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 4:29 pm
by dd
@HELLFIRE

Only one thing rubbed me wrong in CHP.13: Sousuke went off a little too much without sufficient provocation to ring entirely true for me. Otherwise things were cool.

RE: Bont-Kun suits: I like the idea of mini-suits...but in NYC, they would NOT look like Bonta-Kun (New Yorkers would not stand for that.... :-D )

RE: Mithril. As a mercenary unit, I doubt they'd courtmartial Sousuke. I could see them try and kiss his as@ out, though. It depends on who hears about things, and from whom. If he actually did some good...

Brings up something that's always bugged me about Mithril. If people quit, what's to stop them from talking (except a bullet in thehead...). If they're court-marshalled, what happens to them. It's not as if there is a sovereign nation involved.

BTW: 13 chapters and growing...you need to do the reader's shortcut thing... :)

Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 8:09 pm
by HELLFIRE
dd wrote:Only one thing rubbed me wrong in CHP.13: Sousuke went off a little too much without sufficient provocation to ring entirely true for me. Otherwise things were cool.
Sousuke wouldn't be Sousuke unless he raised alittle hell at the UN
and with Kaname's father at their first meeting now, would he? :-D
We are talking about the guy who made the ENTIRE Jindai school
grounds his free-fire zone -- mines, booby traps, bursting in with
a gun, stopping 'suspicious looking ppl,' etc., etc., etc.

I WAS originally going to write his reaction alittle more bengin, but
I think this way plays for a greater reaction from Shunya...
and a few cheap laughs.

Well, going to play Chap 14 purely for laughs... hey, I think it's
time for it anyways... ideas are picking up steam for the whole thing!
dd wrote:BTW: 13 chapters and growing...you need to do the reader's shortcut thing... :)
Yeah, going to go do that now...





Regards