[FIC] Class Act (part 20)
Posted: Wed Mar 31, 2004 12:14 am
Sousuke was tired. It had been a long drive. Unlike the other students, he didn’t have the luxury of leaning back and putting his feet up. He couldn’t just take a nap any time he wanted. He had to be awake every minute and every mile. But, he didn’t feel like he had any reason to complain. He had been on a number of missions that had turned into marathons much more taxing than this.
Most of the other students were awake again, their renewal of energy giving them plenty of opportunity to indulge in trouble-making and mischief. As it turned out, it was Ryo who got the ball rolling. The boys grabbed the ball and ran with it.
“One day, God came to Adam and said he had some news to pass along. ‘There’s some good news, and some bad news,’ he said.” Ryo in her dubious wisdom had decided that the girls needed to pass the time by telling jokes. ‘At least it will be a lot safer than Truth or Dare,’ Maya had said.
“Yeh!” One of the boys jumped in. “The bad news is that I’ve decided to take away Eve and give you Kaname.”
“Holy shit, that IS bad news” another boy chimed in. “What was the good news?”
“The good news was that he could stay in the Garden Of Eden. He’d already been given the worst punishment possible!” One of the swimmers accepted the congratulations of his friends.
Kaname growled. She fingered her whistle.
Ryo threw a half-eaten apple, bouncing it off of the head of one of the jokesters. The apple was no accidental choice. “If I may continue. Hmmppff!” She smiled, seeing the boy rub his head. “Adam looked at God and said, ‘Well, give me the good news first.’ Smiling, God explained ‘I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve.’”
“Yeh, right. You ever try that with Mizuke?” Shinji said, caught up in a game that was over his head. He ended up with a bottle of apple juice dripping off of his hair. Still, it was worth it. A number of the other boys gave him a thumb up signal.
“’The other organ is called a penis,’” Ryo continued. She laughed, seeing Kyouko blush. “Sorry, Ky. Let me correct that. It was called a ‘thing.’” Everyone laughed. Mara swiped Kyouko’s camera and took her picture. Kyouko blushed even more. “’The thing will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent form and populate the planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have that organ to give her children.’”
“O no. That’s not why she was happy. Eve was happy because she would be getting it big time. Right, Ryo?” The boy almost made it to the relative safety of the rest room before Ryo executed a perfect flying tackle.
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“Alright, that’s enough nonsense boys. Let’s keep it clean, now. There are ladies present.” Kaname had meant to act like a leader should. She simply threw kerosene on the blaze.
“Where?” The boys all chuckled.
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“Go ahead, Ryo” Kaname said, throwing back her shoulders and looking rather self-satisfied. The boys all huddled. They HATED that damn whistle. They would lay low for a while.
“Adam, very excited, exclaimed ’Those are great gifts you have given to me. What possible could be the bad news after such tidings?’” Mizuke whispered in Ryo’s ear. Ryo smiled and nodded her head. The other girl had anticipated the punch line. “God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, ’The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of the new organs at a time!’”
The girls all clapped, laughed, or called out in agreement. The boys took the shot across their bow with deceptive good grace. Then it would be pay back time. After all, it was now officially joke time.
“You should go tell that joke to Sousuke, Kaname.” Kyouko kept a straight face. “He must feel lonely up there, driving the bus.”
“Go ahead Kaname, you don’t have to call it a ‘penis’ if it makes you uncomfortable.” Ryo smirked.
“It would be a waste of time.” Kaname said.
“Ren, could you help me up. I need to stretch my legs.” Miss Okibasu was awake again. A little color had returned to her cheeks. “I’ll go tell Sousuke the joke.” Ren stood up.
“Sit down Ren,” Kaname said in more of a rush than she had intended. She clenched her fists when she saw Ryo, Maya, and Mizuke start whispering to one another. “Miss Okibasu is in no condition to walk much yet. I’ll tell Sousuke the joke.”
Kaname went forward tentatively, a little uncomfortable approaching Sousuke with the story, even though it was tame compared to many jokes.
A few minutes passed.
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The loud whistle blowing was followed by a loud smacking sound. Kaname came stomping back to her seat.
“What’s wrong, Kaname?” Kyouko asked.
“Did you have to explain ’penis’ to him? Show him where it was?” Ryo’s quip had all of the girls choking on their drinks.
“No. When I was finished, I waited to see if he would laugh, or at least smile.” Kaname frowned.
“Did he?” Ren asked, already certain of the answer.
“What do you think?!” Kaname said with a sour expression. “First he thanked me for telling him an important historical fact.” The girls all shook their heads, but not in disbelief. They knew Sousuke well enough by now. “Then he expressed his sadness at the truth.”
“Truth?” Mizuke had no idea what Kaname could be talking about.
“Yes. He told me he thought it was unfair that God had given Adam a brain, but not Eve.” The other girls weren’t smiling any more. “Then he praised me, saying I have done very well with my handicap. He asked what women had in place of brains.”
“SAGARA SAGARA SAGARA SAGARA!!!” The boys had been listening. Sousuke was back up on the pedestal again. He had fired the first return shot. They were free to follow suit.
“I think I will go pay Sousuke a visit.” Ryo said.
“Me too.” Maya said.
“Wait for me.” Mizuke hurried to catch up.
Even Kyouko joined them. A few moments later, the bus swerved briefly. The girls all returned with big smiles.
“That will keep him awake for a few more miles,” Ryo said, refusing to tell Kaname any details.
“Yes, there will be plenty of blood for his brain for a while,” Maya said.
The girls were riding high. At least for a short while. It was the boys’ turn now. “Shirai and Mizuke were discussing breast implants, when Mizuke turned to her beloved and said ‘I’d like to get the implants to make my breasts get bigger, but the operation is so expensive.’” One boy had been splashed with apple juice when Mizuke doused Shinji. He had a chip on his shoulder.
Mizuke went stiff as a board at the mention of Shirai.
“Shirai replied, ‘Try rubbing toilet paper up and down between your breasts.’ Mizuke looked excited and asked ‘do you really think that will make them bigger?’ He answered, ‘Damn right---Look what it did for your ass.’”
For a split second, the bus went entirely silent. Then, as one, the boys all started whooping and howling. They held up hands to show just how large a certain part of Mizuke’s anatomy had gotten. “That’s how it got so damn big!” A swimmer said. The shouting and hollering got louder.
Tweeee eeeeeee eeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeee eee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeee eee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee eeee eeeee eeeeeeeeeee ee eeeeeee ee e eeeeeee e eeeeeee eeeeeee eeee eeeeee ee eeeee eee ee eeeeeeeeee eee eeeee e eeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
Mizuke had swiped the whistle from Kaname. She was blowing so hard that she was turning blue in the face.
Sousuke decided it was time to test out one of the systems that had been installed. He slipped on his respirator and threw Switch # 4. Without so much as a hiss, colorless and odorless gas slowly built up in concenration. Soon, everyone but the driver was fast asleep. Sousuke stretched out his arms, cracked his knuckles, and got back to the business of driving.
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The peace on the bus could only last so long. When the effects of the knock-out gas wore off, the guys and gals picked up right where they left off, taking only a few moments to wonder just what had happened. The guys were telling risqué jokes, trying to get the girls in an uproar. The girls answered back with a bit of 'kiss and tell'. Ships from both sides lined up, ready to run up the flag of battle.
The tranquility of the road was coming to an end as well. The terrorist group hadn’t given up. If anything, with the remains of some of their compatriots serving as food for the crows, they had a score to settle. If they couldn’t capture the offending bus and its passengers, they would destroy it.
The first sign of trouble in the passenger area Sousuke came when one of the rugby players started his joke. “A wrestler goes into a bar and sees a big jar filled to the brim with 5$ bills. ‘What’s with the money,’ the wrestler asked the bartender.”
“Any of you girls ever kissed him?” Maya asked, talking about the rugby guy.
All of the girls shook their head and laughed. “Who’d ever want to!” One added. The first broadside was fired. case shot.
The first sign that something wasn’t right on the road ahead came on a new stretch of highway between Maebashi and Urawa. The highway was divided, with the one side being only for trucks, buses, and over-sized vehicles. The long range radar picked up small objects heading against the flow of traffic. They were smaller than the Street Racers had been.
“The bartender replies ‘We’re having a contest. To play, you put 5$ in the jar. Then you have to complete three tasks. You pass the test, and you take all of the money home.’ The man figures that he would give it a try, and put his money in the container. ‘First,’ the bartender said, ‘You have to drink a whole bottle of tequila without making a face. Second, there is a vicious dog outside with a sore tooth.’”
“Hey Ryo, how’s that tooth doing?” One of the track stars spoke up. He was once rejected by Ryo. Return fire started stripping the sails.
“How about him? Mizuke asked, in defense of her friend.
“Me,” one girl said raising her hand. “He was shaking like a leaf. I had to show him how! Pathetic.” The girls all started laughing. The boys all ragged on their buddy. That shot hit a powder magazine.
Sousuke switched the PFT back on. He gave the A.I. control of the top turret. He would man the side and rear weapons systems. The vehicle I.D. system reported that the approaching vehicles were motorcycles. That meant a large number of small arms. Possibly a boarding party. Letting the wheel go for a moment, Sousuke began taking weapons out of his bag. His classmates were too busy with their spat to pay him any attention.
“’You gotta pull that tooth. Third, upstairs is the most hideous woman in the world, one who has never had sex in her life. As terrible as it may seem, you will have to go up there and stick it to---’” The tale teller left an opening for his friends.
“Maya!” A boy from the soccer team got his answer in first. The mizzen mast cracked in half.
“Jerk!” Maya said, having no desire to get pulled into the joke.
“It’s alright, Maya.” One girl had her own secret. “He kissed me once. It was like rubbing mouths with a fish. He asked me if it was ‘good for me.’ I fell to the ground laughing. What a loser!” The boys sank low in his seat. The forecastle exploded with flying bits of wood and brass.
The motorcycles were being ridden double, Sousuke noted. That gave credence to the idea of boarders. His mind flashed back to a number of pirate movies he had watched and loved. ‘The Sea Hawk.’ ‘The Crimson Pirate.’ ’Captain Blood.’ ’The Black Swan.’ He was not about to give up the ship. Anyone trying to come in through the front doors would have to face his TMP or H&K M3 Super 90 shotgun. Anyone unfortunate enough to try the rear door would be met with even nastier surprises.
“The man agrees and the barkeep hands him a bottle of tequila. The man drinks the entire bottle without making a face. Now terribly drunk, he goes outside. The bartender hears shouts, screams, and loud barking. The man comes back in, his clothing shredded, and his ear torn. ’OK. That takes care of the dog. Now show me that ugly girl with a bad tooth!’”
“Damn, that’s harsh, man!” The swimmer said, while the boys all laughed at the joke.
“You got that right. Either Ryo or Maya. Whoa!” One boy made gagging noises. The hull puctured, the hold was taking on water.
“That must have been a big bottle of booze!” A wrestler figured.
“It could have been worse!” The soccer player said.
“HOW?” A number of boys asked at once.
“It could have been Kaname!” On of the rugby players said.
“No, Mizuke!”
“Kyouko!”
The list went on and on. The girls struck back. It was like a battle between one of Her Majesty’s Ships and a boatload of bloodthirsty pirates.
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Sousuke put the partition back down. He could not afford to be distracted. There was a more serious fight coming up.
The motorcycles buzzed by the bus, cutting across its path and back again before speeding on by without firing a single shot between them. Soon, they were all heading back again---a bunch heading directly for the rear of the bus, while others matched pace with the bus along its flanks.
Sousuke was faced with an unwanted crisis of conscience. The A.I. Reported that the riders carried weapons. There was little doubt that they were criminals, probably terrorists, and most likely related to the previous group. Should he fire first, if there was even an infinitesimal chance they were not planning on attacking? What if they were not who he thought they were? Could he afford to wait, if they had an attack ready that could cripple the bus? If they tossed satchels of explosive under the vehicle, he would be in big trouble.
The riders made it easy for him. While two bikes ran up near the rear deck of the bus, others sped around and began firing at the bus’ wheels. Two men jumped onto the luggage box. Two more bikes ran up the side opposite Sousuke. One man kicked open the door, watching his rider jump into the bus. Men on motocycles following them threw grappling hook on the upper rack, pulling themselves up by the attached ropes. The largest cluster of bikes hung back, a number of car lengths away, directly behind the bus.
“Avast ye!” Souske fired the shotgun point blank into the face of the boarder. The shot tore through the visor of the man’s helmet, throwing him backwards, down the steps, and onto the passing road. The driver of the bike he left was not merely a spectator. He tossed a tear gas canister into the driver’s compartment before the doors could close again.
Sousuke quickly put on his respirator. Still, there would have been a serious problem seeing, if it wasn’t for his custom glasses. He switched the HUD onto them, sighting the upstart who violated his space. Hadn’t the fool gotten any word about the previous encounter? He was riding directly across from the nozzle of a flame gun. Was. A human torch before he even realized he was in danger, the man and his burning bike fell and slid along the highway.
After turning on the custom installed venting system, Sousuke went to work. Flipping Switch # 2, he sent a lethal amount of electricity running through the metal framework of the rear luggage box. Two men, their hearts stopped, fell off the bus in front of their approaching comrades. Those other men had no time to mourn. Button # 8, when pushed, triggered the release of an exceptionally slick oil mixture. A large number of riders learned the true value of friction.
The side view camera showed that the intrepid climbers were near the top. Moving the joy stick, Sousuke turned the upper turret 90 degrees. The terrorists, surprised, found themselves dangling over the road. Two bikes moved in under them, attempting to catch the men swinging at the end of their ropes. They were successful. It was their great misfortune to be directly in front of another set of nozzles when they raised their hands in victory. More flaming corpse bounced along the road, leaving char marks and a trail of blood.
A number of the terrorists had hung back and assessed the situation. They removed large satchels from their saddle bags. Keeping out of range of the flame guns, they sped on an arcing path towards an area directly in front of the bus. Following behind them, but breaking off in a dash directly for the bus doors, came more bikers.
The A.I. did not need to concern itself with the possibility of explosives. The automated algorithm did not need to progress that far. All it needed to see was targets within its arc of fire. It had control of the top turret again. The first shots from the mini-gun missed, as Sousuke jerked the wheel hard right, to avoid the timed detonations. Small craters scarred the road where the bus would have been.
Taking confidence from their near hit, the bomb tossers readied their next round of satchels. They never got them off. Concentrated fire from the M134 Mini-gun was augmented by parallel fire from an XM-214 micro-gun. 7.62 mm and 5.56 mm rounds tore men and machines to pieces. One rider, spooked, prematurely detonated his bomb. Parts of him, the other rider, and their bike covered the road.
If at first you don't succeed? The riders were going to try again to take out the bus driver and assume control of the vehicle. It was a hopeless task, as there was no old man with half-dentures sitting behind the wheel, soiling his East Japan Buslines uniform.
The door was forced open again, by one rear rider stretching out his body. A second bike rode parallel to the first, with both the rider and his passengers holding Uzi's. A clever plan. They just weren't quick enough. Sousuke's first shotgun blast took out the driver of the second bike. Neither guman got off a shot. The steel balls from the second blast missed, but caused the other driver to pull his bike away, stranding his passenger. Having had enough, that other rider high-tailed it away from the bus.
All Sousuke could see was a pair of hands grasping at the second step. Leaving the wheel, he walked over by the door and looked down at the frantic attacker, his feet dragging on the road. The look behind the man's helmet was pleading.
"You would have made a bloody lousy pirate," was all that Sousuke said. His shot left another body rolling lifeless along the highway. Sitting back down in his seat, he was pleased to see that the radar screen was empty of potential threats. It was very fortunate that this stretch of road was nearly empty. Still, he could only imagine what motorists would think when they drove past the ample remnants of the brief but brutal carnage.
A safe distance behind the bus, a police cruiser followed. Someone had witnessed the final part of the conflict. That person had also recognized the bus, despite its modifications.
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For the moment, the roadways were clear of danger. The same could not be said of the bus. Wanting to avoid too much suspicion or curiosity, Sousuke raised the partition. He was surprised to see that the battle of the sexes was still in full swing. But, on the positive side, they weren’t all huddled in fear. Sousuke had just been in a pitched battle---warding off multiple attacks on the bus---and no one in the passengers’ department was aware in the slightest.
“HEY, ANY OF YOU GUYS KNOW WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN GIRLS???” The rowdiest of the rugby players took center stage.
“Yeh! Hangovers go away!” One of the wrestlers waved his arms, looking to get the other guys involved.
“When your beer goes flat, you can toss it out!” One of the swimmers added.
“You always know when you’re the first one to pop a beer!” One of the soccer players joined in. Seeing that Shinji looked confused, he bent over and whispered in his ear.
“O!” Shinji said, blushing.
“Your turn Shinji!” One of the rugby players called out.
“Well. Ummm. After you’ve had the beer, the bottle is still worth a dime?” Shinji cringed. To his surprise, all of the guys laughed and started slapping on the back. His new found high quickly dissipated when he looked over at the girls. There was death in their eyes.
“HEY SAGARA! WHY IS A BEER BETTER THAN A GIRL???” The rugby player was looking to get Sousuke in trouble with the girls again.
“One can make a Molotov Cocktail in an empty bottle. Glass from the bottle can be used as a weapons, or as a means to cut through a binding rope. Messages can be passed inside of empties. Tossing a bottle can sometimes fool an enemy, making him look away from a point of concealment. And…” Sousuke had an extensive list.
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“Anyone who gets Sousuke to go off on one of his crazy otaku binges is going to answer to ME. BIG TIME!!!” The look on Kaname’s face froze everyone.
“Never mind, Sagara!” One of the boys wisely cried out.
“Hmmmpppfff!!!” Kaname said, folding her arms over her chest.
“If you pour a beer right, you’ll always get good head.” One of the rugby players got things back on track.
“Beer always goes down easy!” One of the Gundam fans piped up. Everyone had to pinch themselves to see if they were dreaming.
”You can gave more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty!” The boys didn’t sound as if they were winding down.
“Kaname, when you had their attention, why didn’t you just stop that nonsense?” Mizuke was getting annoyed.
“Because it’s our turn next.” Kaname nodded to Ryo.
Ryo stood up and applauded. “Thank you for that stirring performance. There’s one other difference you left out. There’s still a chance one of you boys may actually have had a beer.” That one hit square in the soft underbelly. All of the other girls cheered.
Now it was Maya’s turn. “Hey gals, lets put together a list of why it’s better to be a girl than a guy!” Her suggestion was a popular one.
“I’m glad I’m a woman, I certainly am” Mizuke called out. “I don’t live off of Sake, Beer Nuts, and Spam!”
“I don’t brag to my buddies about my erections,” a girl from the volleyball team added. “I won’t drive to Hell before I ask for directions.”
“I don’t get wasted at parties and act like a clown,” Ryo laughed. “And I know how to put that damn toilet seat down!”
“I don’t belch in public and won’t scratch my behind,” Kyouko joined in somewhat timidly. “I’m a woman you see---I’m just not that kind!” Maya and Ryo gave her loads of encouragement.
“I don’t long for male bonding, and I don’t cruise for chicks,” a girl from the softball team put in. “Join the Hair Club for men, or think with my dick!”
“She meant ‘thing,’” Ryo whispered to Kyouko. Everybody laughed.
“I don’t have hair covering my ears or my back,” Maya took another turn. “And when I bend over, you can’t see three inches of crack!” The girls all gave each other high fives. The guys were looking for a way to strike back.”
“HEY, WHY DON’T YOU CLEVER GIRLS MAKE UP ONE ABOUT SAGARA!” One of the rowdies challenged the girls.
Kaname went to put the whistle in her mouth, but saw with some chagrin that Ryo had swiped it without her knowing.
“That’s easy!” Maya said, smiling at Kaname’s ‘shushing’ motions.
“I should be thinking about sports, maybe soccer,” one girl said. “Instead of blowing up some poor girl’s locker!” The girl who sent love letters to Sousuke blushed upon hearing that one.
“When I see a girl who’s really quite cute,” Ryo laughed. “I should ask for her name and forget the salute!” Against her better judgment, Kaname found herself nodding her head.
“Yeh, it might do better if I bought a new brain,” Kyouko said, remembering a story Kaname told her. “Instead of jumping off of a fast-moving train.”
“Guns by Glock, Steyr, and Bellini,” Kaname growled. “Why are they better than a new white bikini?!” Kyouko took three pictures of that face.
Mizuke was smiling. Not because of the jokes at Sousuke’s expense. She had mischief in mind. Walking up to the front of the bus, she maid it a point to bring Sousuke a cold drink. “Why don’t you join in the fun, Sousuke. It must be boring up here, staring at the road.”
“Fun?” Sousuke asked. “You were not all fighting?”
“Of course not. We’re just passing the time. It’s just a game. I think everyone would feel like you were part of the gang if you joined in too.” Mizuke tried to keep a straight face.
“Misuke, what are you doing up there?” Kaname sounded like she was worried about something. Mizuke ignored her. Ryo had given Maya the whistle.
“What is the game?” Sousuke asked. It might be good to try something different. He was growing tired of humming Defenders of Moscow and The March of the Waffen SS.
“You can do what everybody else was doing. Make up some pertinent rhymes?” A smile was forcing its way through, but Sousuke was too oblivious to notice. Misuke readied the hook.
“What should I rhyme about?” Sousuke tried to think of something on his own. Mizuke raised her hand and stopped him.
“Hmmmm…that is a tough one…let me think….” Mizuke already knew exactly what she wanted.
“Hey, what’s going on up here, you two?” Kaname had walked up to see why Mizuke was spending so much time with Sousuke. It gave Mizuke the perfect segue.
“Well, why not Kaname then?” Mizuke’s suggestion was met with a thunderous roar of support from the rest of the bus. Kaname just stood there, clenching and unclenching her hands.
“OK. Kaname. It is not a problem.” Sousuke kept his eyes on the road. Not looking at Kaname’s face, he still should have known better. “I am not good at this. It may take some time. Yes, I have one.”
Sousuke spoke up in a loud powerful voice. “Kaname is a girl. She gets really mad. I think she is the best class representative we have ever had.” He was rather proud of that.
Kaname looked shocked. She found herself smiling.
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” The pundits gave their opinion.
“Was it not good?” Sousuke asked, puzzled. It rhymed. It was true. ’What more do they want?’
“It was great, Sousuke. I think….” Kaname was cut off by Mizuke.
“Sousuke, Kaname’s only trying to keep you from getting your feelings hurt. That was a clumsy one. It wasn’t much in the spirit of our game. Try and think of some things that happened on this class trip, or something memorable from school.” Mizuke got a wicked gleam in her eyes. So many ’interesting’ things had happened.
“Understood. I will gladly accept your admonishment. I shall do my best.” As Sousuke spent a few minutes thinking, Ryo, Maya, and Kyouko came up to lead Kaname back to her seat. This should be fun. Especially if Kaname didn’t put a damper on things.
“Kaname says no to guns, bombs, and missiles,” Sousuke said, trying to work on the metre. “But carries a WMD in the form of a whistle.” That brought cheers. Everyone hated that whistle. The response spurred Sousuke on.
“She says I’m too violent, with no normal side,” he was getting better at the game. “But she throws me in traffic to get us a ride!”
“TAXI!!!” Ryo and Maya shouted simultaneously. Kaname had told them the story.
“She says I look stupid in the camoflauge I wear,” Sousuke spoke louder, more confidently. “But still hasn’t corrected that discolored hair.”
Shinji had been drinking from a can of juice. He apologized when he spat it all over the boy next to him. The boy understood. Hearing that last one, he squeezed too hard on a bag of unopened chips, blowing out the bottom of the bag.
Mizuke was clapping her hands. Kyouko was snapping photos. Ren handed Miss Okibasu a pair of earplugs.
“S-S-S---” Kaname had trouble finding her tongue. Sousuke didn’t---he was on a roll.
“I always get blamed, for obeying requests,” he said, thinking about the time at the Gardens in Okayama. “Like the time I was ordered to grab onto her breasts.”
One boy fell out of his seat. He was laughing so hard he couldn’t get back up. Maya had to make a quick run to the restroom.
“S-S-S-SOU---” Kaname wasn’t there yet.
“She wanted to dance with feathers, for all to see.” Being Sousuke, he had no idea when to stop. “When she got stage fright, she blamed it on me!”
A number of guys whistled. “And spin 1-2-3-4, spin 1-2-3-4.” One boy put his life on the line with that one, but Kaname was paralyzed.
“Shake shake shake…shake shake shake…shake your booty…shake your booty…” Sensing an unexpected level of safety, the cockroaches all started coming out of the woodwork. It took a while before Sousuke could continue.
“S-S-S-O-O-O-U-U-U-S---” Kaname was reaching deep within.
“I gave an opening speech to the cultured and rich.” Sousuke had taken one step over the line. All that was needed was for that foot to touch the ground. “But Kaname called out interruptions, just like a……….uh………. Trouble-maker.” He had caught himself in time. But, to Kaname, it was the thought that counts.
“SOUSUKE SAGARA!!! YOU WILL PAY!!!” The spell was broken. Kaname ran up front and stood up next to Sousuke. She raised her hand, but lowered it. “I’m bigger than that, Sousuke. I'm now a believer in second chances. Forgive and forget.”
Sousuke breathed a sigh of relief until Kaname flicked a switch she’d seen him use before. The partition began to lower. “You’re way past your second chance….” was the last thing that anyone heard before the divider cut-off all sound from the driver’s compartment.
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The police officer took note when three large 18-wheelers sped by her, well over the speed limit. She thought about pulling them over, but wanted to keep sight of the bus in the distance. That would be where the action was. Yes. She was certain of that.
As it turned out, either choice would have been have proven exciting.
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End of part 20
Most of the other students were awake again, their renewal of energy giving them plenty of opportunity to indulge in trouble-making and mischief. As it turned out, it was Ryo who got the ball rolling. The boys grabbed the ball and ran with it.
“One day, God came to Adam and said he had some news to pass along. ‘There’s some good news, and some bad news,’ he said.” Ryo in her dubious wisdom had decided that the girls needed to pass the time by telling jokes. ‘At least it will be a lot safer than Truth or Dare,’ Maya had said.
“Yeh!” One of the boys jumped in. “The bad news is that I’ve decided to take away Eve and give you Kaname.”
“Holy shit, that IS bad news” another boy chimed in. “What was the good news?”
“The good news was that he could stay in the Garden Of Eden. He’d already been given the worst punishment possible!” One of the swimmers accepted the congratulations of his friends.
Kaname growled. She fingered her whistle.
Ryo threw a half-eaten apple, bouncing it off of the head of one of the jokesters. The apple was no accidental choice. “If I may continue. Hmmppff!” She smiled, seeing the boy rub his head. “Adam looked at God and said, ‘Well, give me the good news first.’ Smiling, God explained ‘I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve.’”
“Yeh, right. You ever try that with Mizuke?” Shinji said, caught up in a game that was over his head. He ended up with a bottle of apple juice dripping off of his hair. Still, it was worth it. A number of the other boys gave him a thumb up signal.
“’The other organ is called a penis,’” Ryo continued. She laughed, seeing Kyouko blush. “Sorry, Ky. Let me correct that. It was called a ‘thing.’” Everyone laughed. Mara swiped Kyouko’s camera and took her picture. Kyouko blushed even more. “’The thing will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent form and populate the planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have that organ to give her children.’”
“O no. That’s not why she was happy. Eve was happy because she would be getting it big time. Right, Ryo?” The boy almost made it to the relative safety of the rest room before Ryo executed a perfect flying tackle.
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“Alright, that’s enough nonsense boys. Let’s keep it clean, now. There are ladies present.” Kaname had meant to act like a leader should. She simply threw kerosene on the blaze.
“Where?” The boys all chuckled.
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“Go ahead, Ryo” Kaname said, throwing back her shoulders and looking rather self-satisfied. The boys all huddled. They HATED that damn whistle. They would lay low for a while.
“Adam, very excited, exclaimed ’Those are great gifts you have given to me. What possible could be the bad news after such tidings?’” Mizuke whispered in Ryo’s ear. Ryo smiled and nodded her head. The other girl had anticipated the punch line. “God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, ’The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of the new organs at a time!’”
The girls all clapped, laughed, or called out in agreement. The boys took the shot across their bow with deceptive good grace. Then it would be pay back time. After all, it was now officially joke time.
“You should go tell that joke to Sousuke, Kaname.” Kyouko kept a straight face. “He must feel lonely up there, driving the bus.”
“Go ahead Kaname, you don’t have to call it a ‘penis’ if it makes you uncomfortable.” Ryo smirked.
“It would be a waste of time.” Kaname said.
“Ren, could you help me up. I need to stretch my legs.” Miss Okibasu was awake again. A little color had returned to her cheeks. “I’ll go tell Sousuke the joke.” Ren stood up.
“Sit down Ren,” Kaname said in more of a rush than she had intended. She clenched her fists when she saw Ryo, Maya, and Mizuke start whispering to one another. “Miss Okibasu is in no condition to walk much yet. I’ll tell Sousuke the joke.”
Kaname went forward tentatively, a little uncomfortable approaching Sousuke with the story, even though it was tame compared to many jokes.
A few minutes passed.
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The loud whistle blowing was followed by a loud smacking sound. Kaname came stomping back to her seat.
“What’s wrong, Kaname?” Kyouko asked.
“Did you have to explain ’penis’ to him? Show him where it was?” Ryo’s quip had all of the girls choking on their drinks.
“No. When I was finished, I waited to see if he would laugh, or at least smile.” Kaname frowned.
“Did he?” Ren asked, already certain of the answer.
“What do you think?!” Kaname said with a sour expression. “First he thanked me for telling him an important historical fact.” The girls all shook their heads, but not in disbelief. They knew Sousuke well enough by now. “Then he expressed his sadness at the truth.”
“Truth?” Mizuke had no idea what Kaname could be talking about.
“Yes. He told me he thought it was unfair that God had given Adam a brain, but not Eve.” The other girls weren’t smiling any more. “Then he praised me, saying I have done very well with my handicap. He asked what women had in place of brains.”
“SAGARA SAGARA SAGARA SAGARA!!!” The boys had been listening. Sousuke was back up on the pedestal again. He had fired the first return shot. They were free to follow suit.
“I think I will go pay Sousuke a visit.” Ryo said.
“Me too.” Maya said.
“Wait for me.” Mizuke hurried to catch up.
Even Kyouko joined them. A few moments later, the bus swerved briefly. The girls all returned with big smiles.
“That will keep him awake for a few more miles,” Ryo said, refusing to tell Kaname any details.
“Yes, there will be plenty of blood for his brain for a while,” Maya said.
The girls were riding high. At least for a short while. It was the boys’ turn now. “Shirai and Mizuke were discussing breast implants, when Mizuke turned to her beloved and said ‘I’d like to get the implants to make my breasts get bigger, but the operation is so expensive.’” One boy had been splashed with apple juice when Mizuke doused Shinji. He had a chip on his shoulder.
Mizuke went stiff as a board at the mention of Shirai.
“Shirai replied, ‘Try rubbing toilet paper up and down between your breasts.’ Mizuke looked excited and asked ‘do you really think that will make them bigger?’ He answered, ‘Damn right---Look what it did for your ass.’”
For a split second, the bus went entirely silent. Then, as one, the boys all started whooping and howling. They held up hands to show just how large a certain part of Mizuke’s anatomy had gotten. “That’s how it got so damn big!” A swimmer said. The shouting and hollering got louder.
Tweeee eeeeeee eeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeee eee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeee eee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee eeee eeeee eeeeeeeeeee ee eeeeeee ee e eeeeeee e eeeeeee eeeeeee eeee eeeeee ee eeeee eee ee eeeeeeeeee eee eeeee e eeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
Mizuke had swiped the whistle from Kaname. She was blowing so hard that she was turning blue in the face.
Sousuke decided it was time to test out one of the systems that had been installed. He slipped on his respirator and threw Switch # 4. Without so much as a hiss, colorless and odorless gas slowly built up in concenration. Soon, everyone but the driver was fast asleep. Sousuke stretched out his arms, cracked his knuckles, and got back to the business of driving.
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The peace on the bus could only last so long. When the effects of the knock-out gas wore off, the guys and gals picked up right where they left off, taking only a few moments to wonder just what had happened. The guys were telling risqué jokes, trying to get the girls in an uproar. The girls answered back with a bit of 'kiss and tell'. Ships from both sides lined up, ready to run up the flag of battle.
The tranquility of the road was coming to an end as well. The terrorist group hadn’t given up. If anything, with the remains of some of their compatriots serving as food for the crows, they had a score to settle. If they couldn’t capture the offending bus and its passengers, they would destroy it.
The first sign of trouble in the passenger area Sousuke came when one of the rugby players started his joke. “A wrestler goes into a bar and sees a big jar filled to the brim with 5$ bills. ‘What’s with the money,’ the wrestler asked the bartender.”
“Any of you girls ever kissed him?” Maya asked, talking about the rugby guy.
All of the girls shook their head and laughed. “Who’d ever want to!” One added. The first broadside was fired. case shot.
The first sign that something wasn’t right on the road ahead came on a new stretch of highway between Maebashi and Urawa. The highway was divided, with the one side being only for trucks, buses, and over-sized vehicles. The long range radar picked up small objects heading against the flow of traffic. They were smaller than the Street Racers had been.
“The bartender replies ‘We’re having a contest. To play, you put 5$ in the jar. Then you have to complete three tasks. You pass the test, and you take all of the money home.’ The man figures that he would give it a try, and put his money in the container. ‘First,’ the bartender said, ‘You have to drink a whole bottle of tequila without making a face. Second, there is a vicious dog outside with a sore tooth.’”
“Hey Ryo, how’s that tooth doing?” One of the track stars spoke up. He was once rejected by Ryo. Return fire started stripping the sails.
“How about him? Mizuke asked, in defense of her friend.
“Me,” one girl said raising her hand. “He was shaking like a leaf. I had to show him how! Pathetic.” The girls all started laughing. The boys all ragged on their buddy. That shot hit a powder magazine.
Sousuke switched the PFT back on. He gave the A.I. control of the top turret. He would man the side and rear weapons systems. The vehicle I.D. system reported that the approaching vehicles were motorcycles. That meant a large number of small arms. Possibly a boarding party. Letting the wheel go for a moment, Sousuke began taking weapons out of his bag. His classmates were too busy with their spat to pay him any attention.
“’You gotta pull that tooth. Third, upstairs is the most hideous woman in the world, one who has never had sex in her life. As terrible as it may seem, you will have to go up there and stick it to---’” The tale teller left an opening for his friends.
“Maya!” A boy from the soccer team got his answer in first. The mizzen mast cracked in half.
“Jerk!” Maya said, having no desire to get pulled into the joke.
“It’s alright, Maya.” One girl had her own secret. “He kissed me once. It was like rubbing mouths with a fish. He asked me if it was ‘good for me.’ I fell to the ground laughing. What a loser!” The boys sank low in his seat. The forecastle exploded with flying bits of wood and brass.
The motorcycles were being ridden double, Sousuke noted. That gave credence to the idea of boarders. His mind flashed back to a number of pirate movies he had watched and loved. ‘The Sea Hawk.’ ‘The Crimson Pirate.’ ’Captain Blood.’ ’The Black Swan.’ He was not about to give up the ship. Anyone trying to come in through the front doors would have to face his TMP or H&K M3 Super 90 shotgun. Anyone unfortunate enough to try the rear door would be met with even nastier surprises.
“The man agrees and the barkeep hands him a bottle of tequila. The man drinks the entire bottle without making a face. Now terribly drunk, he goes outside. The bartender hears shouts, screams, and loud barking. The man comes back in, his clothing shredded, and his ear torn. ’OK. That takes care of the dog. Now show me that ugly girl with a bad tooth!’”
“Damn, that’s harsh, man!” The swimmer said, while the boys all laughed at the joke.
“You got that right. Either Ryo or Maya. Whoa!” One boy made gagging noises. The hull puctured, the hold was taking on water.
“That must have been a big bottle of booze!” A wrestler figured.
“It could have been worse!” The soccer player said.
“HOW?” A number of boys asked at once.
“It could have been Kaname!” On of the rugby players said.
“No, Mizuke!”
“Kyouko!”
The list went on and on. The girls struck back. It was like a battle between one of Her Majesty’s Ships and a boatload of bloodthirsty pirates.
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Sousuke put the partition back down. He could not afford to be distracted. There was a more serious fight coming up.
The motorcycles buzzed by the bus, cutting across its path and back again before speeding on by without firing a single shot between them. Soon, they were all heading back again---a bunch heading directly for the rear of the bus, while others matched pace with the bus along its flanks.
Sousuke was faced with an unwanted crisis of conscience. The A.I. Reported that the riders carried weapons. There was little doubt that they were criminals, probably terrorists, and most likely related to the previous group. Should he fire first, if there was even an infinitesimal chance they were not planning on attacking? What if they were not who he thought they were? Could he afford to wait, if they had an attack ready that could cripple the bus? If they tossed satchels of explosive under the vehicle, he would be in big trouble.
The riders made it easy for him. While two bikes ran up near the rear deck of the bus, others sped around and began firing at the bus’ wheels. Two men jumped onto the luggage box. Two more bikes ran up the side opposite Sousuke. One man kicked open the door, watching his rider jump into the bus. Men on motocycles following them threw grappling hook on the upper rack, pulling themselves up by the attached ropes. The largest cluster of bikes hung back, a number of car lengths away, directly behind the bus.
“Avast ye!” Souske fired the shotgun point blank into the face of the boarder. The shot tore through the visor of the man’s helmet, throwing him backwards, down the steps, and onto the passing road. The driver of the bike he left was not merely a spectator. He tossed a tear gas canister into the driver’s compartment before the doors could close again.
Sousuke quickly put on his respirator. Still, there would have been a serious problem seeing, if it wasn’t for his custom glasses. He switched the HUD onto them, sighting the upstart who violated his space. Hadn’t the fool gotten any word about the previous encounter? He was riding directly across from the nozzle of a flame gun. Was. A human torch before he even realized he was in danger, the man and his burning bike fell and slid along the highway.
After turning on the custom installed venting system, Sousuke went to work. Flipping Switch # 2, he sent a lethal amount of electricity running through the metal framework of the rear luggage box. Two men, their hearts stopped, fell off the bus in front of their approaching comrades. Those other men had no time to mourn. Button # 8, when pushed, triggered the release of an exceptionally slick oil mixture. A large number of riders learned the true value of friction.
The side view camera showed that the intrepid climbers were near the top. Moving the joy stick, Sousuke turned the upper turret 90 degrees. The terrorists, surprised, found themselves dangling over the road. Two bikes moved in under them, attempting to catch the men swinging at the end of their ropes. They were successful. It was their great misfortune to be directly in front of another set of nozzles when they raised their hands in victory. More flaming corpse bounced along the road, leaving char marks and a trail of blood.
A number of the terrorists had hung back and assessed the situation. They removed large satchels from their saddle bags. Keeping out of range of the flame guns, they sped on an arcing path towards an area directly in front of the bus. Following behind them, but breaking off in a dash directly for the bus doors, came more bikers.
The A.I. did not need to concern itself with the possibility of explosives. The automated algorithm did not need to progress that far. All it needed to see was targets within its arc of fire. It had control of the top turret again. The first shots from the mini-gun missed, as Sousuke jerked the wheel hard right, to avoid the timed detonations. Small craters scarred the road where the bus would have been.
Taking confidence from their near hit, the bomb tossers readied their next round of satchels. They never got them off. Concentrated fire from the M134 Mini-gun was augmented by parallel fire from an XM-214 micro-gun. 7.62 mm and 5.56 mm rounds tore men and machines to pieces. One rider, spooked, prematurely detonated his bomb. Parts of him, the other rider, and their bike covered the road.
If at first you don't succeed? The riders were going to try again to take out the bus driver and assume control of the vehicle. It was a hopeless task, as there was no old man with half-dentures sitting behind the wheel, soiling his East Japan Buslines uniform.
The door was forced open again, by one rear rider stretching out his body. A second bike rode parallel to the first, with both the rider and his passengers holding Uzi's. A clever plan. They just weren't quick enough. Sousuke's first shotgun blast took out the driver of the second bike. Neither guman got off a shot. The steel balls from the second blast missed, but caused the other driver to pull his bike away, stranding his passenger. Having had enough, that other rider high-tailed it away from the bus.
All Sousuke could see was a pair of hands grasping at the second step. Leaving the wheel, he walked over by the door and looked down at the frantic attacker, his feet dragging on the road. The look behind the man's helmet was pleading.
"You would have made a bloody lousy pirate," was all that Sousuke said. His shot left another body rolling lifeless along the highway. Sitting back down in his seat, he was pleased to see that the radar screen was empty of potential threats. It was very fortunate that this stretch of road was nearly empty. Still, he could only imagine what motorists would think when they drove past the ample remnants of the brief but brutal carnage.
A safe distance behind the bus, a police cruiser followed. Someone had witnessed the final part of the conflict. That person had also recognized the bus, despite its modifications.
************************************************************
For the moment, the roadways were clear of danger. The same could not be said of the bus. Wanting to avoid too much suspicion or curiosity, Sousuke raised the partition. He was surprised to see that the battle of the sexes was still in full swing. But, on the positive side, they weren’t all huddled in fear. Sousuke had just been in a pitched battle---warding off multiple attacks on the bus---and no one in the passengers’ department was aware in the slightest.
“HEY, ANY OF YOU GUYS KNOW WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN GIRLS???” The rowdiest of the rugby players took center stage.
“Yeh! Hangovers go away!” One of the wrestlers waved his arms, looking to get the other guys involved.
“When your beer goes flat, you can toss it out!” One of the swimmers added.
“You always know when you’re the first one to pop a beer!” One of the soccer players joined in. Seeing that Shinji looked confused, he bent over and whispered in his ear.
“O!” Shinji said, blushing.
“Your turn Shinji!” One of the rugby players called out.
“Well. Ummm. After you’ve had the beer, the bottle is still worth a dime?” Shinji cringed. To his surprise, all of the guys laughed and started slapping on the back. His new found high quickly dissipated when he looked over at the girls. There was death in their eyes.
“HEY SAGARA! WHY IS A BEER BETTER THAN A GIRL???” The rugby player was looking to get Sousuke in trouble with the girls again.
“One can make a Molotov Cocktail in an empty bottle. Glass from the bottle can be used as a weapons, or as a means to cut through a binding rope. Messages can be passed inside of empties. Tossing a bottle can sometimes fool an enemy, making him look away from a point of concealment. And…” Sousuke had an extensive list.
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“Anyone who gets Sousuke to go off on one of his crazy otaku binges is going to answer to ME. BIG TIME!!!” The look on Kaname’s face froze everyone.
“Never mind, Sagara!” One of the boys wisely cried out.
“Hmmmpppfff!!!” Kaname said, folding her arms over her chest.
“If you pour a beer right, you’ll always get good head.” One of the rugby players got things back on track.
“Beer always goes down easy!” One of the Gundam fans piped up. Everyone had to pinch themselves to see if they were dreaming.
”You can gave more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty!” The boys didn’t sound as if they were winding down.
“Kaname, when you had their attention, why didn’t you just stop that nonsense?” Mizuke was getting annoyed.
“Because it’s our turn next.” Kaname nodded to Ryo.
Ryo stood up and applauded. “Thank you for that stirring performance. There’s one other difference you left out. There’s still a chance one of you boys may actually have had a beer.” That one hit square in the soft underbelly. All of the other girls cheered.
Now it was Maya’s turn. “Hey gals, lets put together a list of why it’s better to be a girl than a guy!” Her suggestion was a popular one.
“I’m glad I’m a woman, I certainly am” Mizuke called out. “I don’t live off of Sake, Beer Nuts, and Spam!”
“I don’t brag to my buddies about my erections,” a girl from the volleyball team added. “I won’t drive to Hell before I ask for directions.”
“I don’t get wasted at parties and act like a clown,” Ryo laughed. “And I know how to put that damn toilet seat down!”
“I don’t belch in public and won’t scratch my behind,” Kyouko joined in somewhat timidly. “I’m a woman you see---I’m just not that kind!” Maya and Ryo gave her loads of encouragement.
“I don’t long for male bonding, and I don’t cruise for chicks,” a girl from the softball team put in. “Join the Hair Club for men, or think with my dick!”
“She meant ‘thing,’” Ryo whispered to Kyouko. Everybody laughed.
“I don’t have hair covering my ears or my back,” Maya took another turn. “And when I bend over, you can’t see three inches of crack!” The girls all gave each other high fives. The guys were looking for a way to strike back.”
“HEY, WHY DON’T YOU CLEVER GIRLS MAKE UP ONE ABOUT SAGARA!” One of the rowdies challenged the girls.
Kaname went to put the whistle in her mouth, but saw with some chagrin that Ryo had swiped it without her knowing.
“That’s easy!” Maya said, smiling at Kaname’s ‘shushing’ motions.
“I should be thinking about sports, maybe soccer,” one girl said. “Instead of blowing up some poor girl’s locker!” The girl who sent love letters to Sousuke blushed upon hearing that one.
“When I see a girl who’s really quite cute,” Ryo laughed. “I should ask for her name and forget the salute!” Against her better judgment, Kaname found herself nodding her head.
“Yeh, it might do better if I bought a new brain,” Kyouko said, remembering a story Kaname told her. “Instead of jumping off of a fast-moving train.”
“Guns by Glock, Steyr, and Bellini,” Kaname growled. “Why are they better than a new white bikini?!” Kyouko took three pictures of that face.
Mizuke was smiling. Not because of the jokes at Sousuke’s expense. She had mischief in mind. Walking up to the front of the bus, she maid it a point to bring Sousuke a cold drink. “Why don’t you join in the fun, Sousuke. It must be boring up here, staring at the road.”
“Fun?” Sousuke asked. “You were not all fighting?”
“Of course not. We’re just passing the time. It’s just a game. I think everyone would feel like you were part of the gang if you joined in too.” Mizuke tried to keep a straight face.
“Misuke, what are you doing up there?” Kaname sounded like she was worried about something. Mizuke ignored her. Ryo had given Maya the whistle.
“What is the game?” Sousuke asked. It might be good to try something different. He was growing tired of humming Defenders of Moscow and The March of the Waffen SS.
“You can do what everybody else was doing. Make up some pertinent rhymes?” A smile was forcing its way through, but Sousuke was too oblivious to notice. Misuke readied the hook.
“What should I rhyme about?” Sousuke tried to think of something on his own. Mizuke raised her hand and stopped him.
“Hmmmm…that is a tough one…let me think….” Mizuke already knew exactly what she wanted.
“Hey, what’s going on up here, you two?” Kaname had walked up to see why Mizuke was spending so much time with Sousuke. It gave Mizuke the perfect segue.
“Well, why not Kaname then?” Mizuke’s suggestion was met with a thunderous roar of support from the rest of the bus. Kaname just stood there, clenching and unclenching her hands.
“OK. Kaname. It is not a problem.” Sousuke kept his eyes on the road. Not looking at Kaname’s face, he still should have known better. “I am not good at this. It may take some time. Yes, I have one.”
Sousuke spoke up in a loud powerful voice. “Kaname is a girl. She gets really mad. I think she is the best class representative we have ever had.” He was rather proud of that.
Kaname looked shocked. She found herself smiling.
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” The pundits gave their opinion.
“Was it not good?” Sousuke asked, puzzled. It rhymed. It was true. ’What more do they want?’
“It was great, Sousuke. I think….” Kaname was cut off by Mizuke.
“Sousuke, Kaname’s only trying to keep you from getting your feelings hurt. That was a clumsy one. It wasn’t much in the spirit of our game. Try and think of some things that happened on this class trip, or something memorable from school.” Mizuke got a wicked gleam in her eyes. So many ’interesting’ things had happened.
“Understood. I will gladly accept your admonishment. I shall do my best.” As Sousuke spent a few minutes thinking, Ryo, Maya, and Kyouko came up to lead Kaname back to her seat. This should be fun. Especially if Kaname didn’t put a damper on things.
“Kaname says no to guns, bombs, and missiles,” Sousuke said, trying to work on the metre. “But carries a WMD in the form of a whistle.” That brought cheers. Everyone hated that whistle. The response spurred Sousuke on.
“She says I’m too violent, with no normal side,” he was getting better at the game. “But she throws me in traffic to get us a ride!”
“TAXI!!!” Ryo and Maya shouted simultaneously. Kaname had told them the story.
“She says I look stupid in the camoflauge I wear,” Sousuke spoke louder, more confidently. “But still hasn’t corrected that discolored hair.”
Shinji had been drinking from a can of juice. He apologized when he spat it all over the boy next to him. The boy understood. Hearing that last one, he squeezed too hard on a bag of unopened chips, blowing out the bottom of the bag.
Mizuke was clapping her hands. Kyouko was snapping photos. Ren handed Miss Okibasu a pair of earplugs.
“S-S-S---” Kaname had trouble finding her tongue. Sousuke didn’t---he was on a roll.
“I always get blamed, for obeying requests,” he said, thinking about the time at the Gardens in Okayama. “Like the time I was ordered to grab onto her breasts.”
One boy fell out of his seat. He was laughing so hard he couldn’t get back up. Maya had to make a quick run to the restroom.
“S-S-S-SOU---” Kaname wasn’t there yet.
“She wanted to dance with feathers, for all to see.” Being Sousuke, he had no idea when to stop. “When she got stage fright, she blamed it on me!”
A number of guys whistled. “And spin 1-2-3-4, spin 1-2-3-4.” One boy put his life on the line with that one, but Kaname was paralyzed.
“Shake shake shake…shake shake shake…shake your booty…shake your booty…” Sensing an unexpected level of safety, the cockroaches all started coming out of the woodwork. It took a while before Sousuke could continue.
“S-S-S-O-O-O-U-U-U-S---” Kaname was reaching deep within.
“I gave an opening speech to the cultured and rich.” Sousuke had taken one step over the line. All that was needed was for that foot to touch the ground. “But Kaname called out interruptions, just like a……….uh………. Trouble-maker.” He had caught himself in time. But, to Kaname, it was the thought that counts.
“SOUSUKE SAGARA!!! YOU WILL PAY!!!” The spell was broken. Kaname ran up front and stood up next to Sousuke. She raised her hand, but lowered it. “I’m bigger than that, Sousuke. I'm now a believer in second chances. Forgive and forget.”
Sousuke breathed a sigh of relief until Kaname flicked a switch she’d seen him use before. The partition began to lower. “You’re way past your second chance….” was the last thing that anyone heard before the divider cut-off all sound from the driver’s compartment.
************************************************************
The police officer took note when three large 18-wheelers sped by her, well over the speed limit. She thought about pulling them over, but wanted to keep sight of the bus in the distance. That would be where the action was. Yes. She was certain of that.
As it turned out, either choice would have been have proven exciting.
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End of part 20
