FullMetal*Panic!

A man has an obsession with the Whispered---he also hunts them for his employers. A Whispered girl has the talent to locate others of her kind. She idolizes that man. He sent her to Tokyo. She ends up at Jindai High School.


Another assignment.

Another city.

Another school.

Sometimes I wish I had another life.

But, this is what Jorgen wants. Jorgen rescued me from the gutter. Jorgen saved me from the men and women in white coats, with fancy machines and mysterious goals. Jorgen gave me something to do. If I succeed..... If I grow into a woman well..... Jorgen will give me so much more.

Another country.

Another language.

Another school.

It’s what I do. My background story has been written for me. I have been assigned hobbies. Maybe I can make some more fleeting friendships. That would be nice. Someone to talk to. But, I can’t look too close. Their lives might seem addictive. None of them have a job to do.

Jorgen trusts me.

Only me.

Fishing.

I’ve never really gone fishing.

Jorgen calls my task fishing.

Go to school. Do the things a student normally does. Be sure not to arouse suspicion. Send my mind out, looking for resonance..... looking for a connection. If I get something on the hook, I call Jorgen. He will reel in my catch. I’m not exactly certain why. That’s not my business, Jorgen said.

Jindai High School.

Tokyo.

Japan.

How many other schools, now? How man cities? How many countries? Always moving. Nothing constant, except Jorgen. He says the change is good. How many other girls have such an opportunity to see the world? Who else gets to experience and learn so much?

Fish.

Who ever thinks about what a fish feels?

I do. Every once in a while. When Jorgen’s not around.

Sometimes, he calls my assignment whaling. I am always at a loss to explain why.

I only asked about the fate of those we catch, once. I won’t ask again. I don’t like it when Jorgen is angry with me. It made me very sad when he lied. It’s not my business whether or not the fish are happy being caught. I know they are taken away. I know they are pulled out of lives they are happy with. I do not
need to know what happens to them. I could lie when I find one. But, if Jorgen ever found out!!! I talk in my sleep. My arms ache when I wake, as if I have been stuck with needles.

Still. I remember his face. I remember his trembling. I remember overhearing him speak to others when he thought I wasn't around:

" Don't lecture me on blasphemy or vengeance, man; I'd strike the sun if it insulted me. Look, everything we see is nothing but a pasteboard mask, any way. These freaks of nature task me; they weigh on me. Yet, they are nothing more than masks. It's the thing behind the mask I chiefly hate; the malignant thing that plagues mankind; the thing that maws and mutilates our peaceful world, not killing us outright but letting us live on, prey to the technological demons hiding in the shadows."

When he had thought himself alone, then, Jorgen cursed. I can not bring myself to remember those words. But, I know what he said next.

"From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. You cursed monsters."

The ones we fish for, he piles upon them all of the rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he fired his own heart from it, willing to pay whatever cost is necessary to eradicate some great evil from the world.

What had the Whispered done to him? To the brother he tells men never to mention?

"It hurts me more than if I had lost a limb!!!"

He had shouted to one naysayer once. He wants to kill them all. I know that. But, the men he works with won't let him do that. Still, whatever happens to them makes him content. Why? I have no business asking that! Why not me? Why doesn't he hate me, then?

I’m thinking too much again.

That will never do.

It just makes my assignment that much harder.

The uniform is nice. It will make me feel as if I really belong, at least for a little while. I will take extra time putting on my make-up, again. Jorgen says I should look as pretty as possible. I can’t have any boyfriends. He says that’s because some day I will be his girl. I like to believe that. It makes the job easier. It’s not important. If I look nice and act nice, people will be more likely to relax around me. They will be more likely to want to make friends. It will be easier to get close to people.

Getting the right bait, Jorgen calls it.

I set the clock ahead.

I want to get to school early.

There is so much to do.



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Ms. Kagurazaka rapped hard upon her desk with her knuckles, silencing the noisy class.

“I would like you all to pay attention, here. I have a new student to introduce. She has been to many different schools in many different countries. No doubt there is a lot she can teach us. Miss Jun, would you please introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Then, with your permission, your fellow classmates will ask you some questions.” The teacher indicated a good place for the young woman to stand.

“Yes teacher. I thank you.” The pretty young woman of Asian descent bowed to Ms. Kagurazaka, then turned to face the class. Her uniform was impeccably pressed. Her hair was long, an ebony waterfall coursing over both shoulders, partly obscuring the fullness to her chest. She placed her hands behind her back, so no one could see them tremble. A minor tic came and went, making it look as if one eye were squinting.

“I am Kim Jong Jun. I....”

Sousuke put his hand up.

“Y-Y-Yes?” Kim asked.

“I am Sagara. Sousuke Sagara. I too was a new student not too long ago. I have a question.” By the tone of his voice, Sousuke was making a statement, not asking permission.

Kaname growled. The sound drew Kim’s attention. She began to sweat. The face on the blue-haired girl was anything but pleasant at the moment.

“Sousuke, it’s customary to let guests speak uninterrupted.” Kaname tried to put a fake smile on. She failed miserably.

“I understand that. It is not a problem. Her answers will dictate how I view her later responses. It will serve the same purpose for less observant individuals.” Sousuke didn’t even bother to look at Kaname. His full attention was on the young girl, a stranger. Any stranger was by definition a danger until proven otherwise.

“I... it’s..... I truly do not mind.” Kim would normally feel anxious, or like a cornered animal. But, something about the scar-faced young man reminded her of Jorgen. It was the unspoken confidence in his action---there was something he wanted to do, and he was not about to let someone stand in his way.

“I thank you. That is a favorable response. I must commend you. There are many here who could learn from your acquiescence. As you will see, Miss Chidori has had a problem with....” Sousuke’s shoulders soon hunched with pain. It was a familiar feeling.

WHAMMMM!!!

“SOUSUKE!!! The only problem I have is YOU!” Kaname stood with her hands on her hips, halisen somewhat bent from the force of impact.

“Miss Chidori... PLEASE!” The teacher was not in the mood for this routine. “As Class Representative, at the very least I would expect that you would want to set a good example for our newest student. If you find that task too difficult, I’m certain I can....” She didn’t finish the statement. She knew she didn’t have to.

“No. I apologize. I realize I have caused just as big of a disruption as the Prince of Fools has. Please continue.” Kaname bowed before taking her seat. She spared one additional glance for Sousuke. It carried ill omens.

“You may ask your question, if you wish.” Kim said to Sousuke.

“Good. I would like to know if you have used names other than Kim Jong Jun.” Sousuke took out a small pad of paper and readied a pencil.

“Names?” The question caught her off guard. Did the boy suspect her? Why should he? Perhaps he was just being complete, like Jorgen. She would have to cover her reaction. “Yes. I have gone by Kim Jun in some schools.”

That should serve well enough.

“I see. Thank you.” Sousuke ignored the look that Kaname gave him.

“I have spent the last year at....” Kim was interrupted by Sousuke once again. Her glance did not go to him, however. The quiet of the room was broken by a series of popping noises---the rivets on Kaname’s desk were snapping under the pressure she put on the wooden top.

“The places that you have stayed. Were any of them countries who freely allow terrorists within their borders?” Sousuke’s stare was very intense.

Kim put her hand over her breasts by reflex. She somehow felt as if Sousuke could strip her with his gaze. How did he do that? Why did it make her heart beat faster.

Was that sweat running down her neck?

“Mr. Sagara, that will be enough. You will NOT let your unnatural fascination with military topics discomfort Miss Jun. You do not have to answer that, Kim.” The teacher shook her finger at Sousuke. Sousuke looked in the direction the finger was pointing, confused when he saw nothing of note there.

“It’s OK, Teacher. I can only tell you where I was. I do not know if any of those countries had terrorists or not.”

Kim brushed the hair out of her eyes.

She resisted the urge to chew on the hair near her mouth.

“I was born in Korea, but have been many places since the death of my parents. My last stay was in Paris, France. Before that, I spent time in Lancaster, New York, Bonn, Brussels, and Belgrade. The people who look after me have business interests around the globe. Wherever they go, I go too.” Kim felt confident.

Everything she said was true.

There was no need to embellish or to lie. So far.

“These people who look after you, who are they exactly? What business do they run? How much do you know of their past.? Have you ever seen them with weapons? When....” Sousuke was relentless, like a Pit Bull with an ankle in its mouth.

SLAMMMMMMMM!!!

Sousuke’s face actually left an impression in the top of his desk, something akin to the Shroud of Turin. Kaname’s chest was rising and falling with rapid deep breaths. The fire burned even hotter in her eyes when she noticed that her favorite halisen lay in multiple pieces.

The spasmodic twitching of Sousuke’s fingers didn’t even regester on her conscious thought.

“Miss Chidori, please join me in the hall.” Ms. Kagurazaka walked ti the door and held it open for Kaname. The look she gave Kyouko caused the young woman to lower her camera quickly. Nothing she could do would silence the quips that followed Kaname as she strode angrily from her desk.

“But..... Sousuke..... he.....” Kaname stuttered, the rage tripping up her tongue.

“I will speak with him when he regains his senses.” The teacher looked over at Kim. “Please continue, Miss Jun.” The door closed. The entire class could still hear every word outside of the room.

Kim continued telling the true parts of her earlier life. Naturally, she made no mention of Jorgen, the Whispered, or ‘fishing.’ The other students had a number of questions, about the music she liked, hobbies she had, and similar things unspoken sense of hostility or amusement. As a Korean in Japan, she had expected some such.

When she finished, she spent a moment looking at Sousuke. He frightened here and intrigued her at the same time. She was quite used to the former feeling---the latter response itself was a matter of interest.

Seated at her desk, she felt the tension ebb out of her. She relaxed her mind, trying to make it a blank slate. It was up to the students in the school, now. Would any of them have a mind capable of writing something on that slate?

Only time would tell.



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Kaname was still steaming. If she found Kim first, she would have to cool down fast. If she ran across Sousuke before that, God help him.

‘Kaname, it’s really not that bad’ Kyouko had tried to assure her, when she got back from the principal’s office. “Sousuke was just being Sousuke.’

‘How would YOU feel if you were interrogated otaku-style by Sousuke, before you even had a chance to intoduce yourself?’ Kaname had groused.

‘Well....’ Kyouko never had a chance to finish.

‘EXACTLY!!! Terrible. Frightened. Embarrassed. Ready to run screaming from the school.’ Kaname did not feel she was exaggerating. ‘It’s not like it’s that maniac’s first week here and everything. Far from it.’

‘But he’s been getting better at....’ Kyouko just blinked when her friend jumped in again.

‘RIGHT!!! Better at driving everybody crazy. You were at the ground- breaking ceremony.’ Kaname’s grip on her locker door handle bent the solid steel structure. That was Sousuke’s fault too!

‘I was standing in the front, Kaname. I saw the shovel accidentally hit your foot.... the pick did just miss your head....’

“It was an accident, Kyouko. Tools are supposed to be used at a ground- breaking ceremony. I hardly think I was in any danger from the CEO of the company donating all those funds, or from his aide.’ Kaname kicked the bottom of her locker, grimacing when she found out the hard way that she had forgotten to wear
Souuke-proven shoes.

‘Sousuke DID apologize, Kaname. The one man was only hospitalized for observation....’ The other man needed minor dental work.

‘KYOUKO! Listen to yourself. Sousuke is a natural disaster. Don’t make excuses for him. I’m only glad Kim wasn’t here that day. Or for the obstacle course.’ Kaname’s eyes narrowed when she thought about last week’s gym class extravaganza.

What had the substitute gym teacher been thinking, allowing Sousuke to set up the school grounds and track area for that event? Just two days after the one man wrecking crew’s antics landed the full-time instructor in a rehabilitation center!

‘But Kaname, he was only doing what he was told to do. He did make things challenging.’ Kyouko smiled. She had been one of the lucky ones. She ran after most of the tricks and traps had been triggered.

Kaname just stood speechless, her mouth opening and closing like that of a large mouth bass.

‘Challenging? Is that what you REALLY meant to say, Kyouko?’ Kaname was so incensed, she took no notice when Maya and Ryo walked up to join them.

‘Smoke bombs; concussion grenades; lariats and nooses; paint sprayers; quicksand; and a number of nests of angry bees? Challenging?’

‘Yes.’ Kyouko kept a straight face.

‘Very challenging,’ Maya added.

‘Extremely challenging,’ Ryo managed to say without laughing.

‘No. Try psycho. Or, how about irresponsible. Maybe freakish beyond any known level of human thought???’

Kaname stomped her foot.

She shouldn’t have brought that example up.

She began to tremble just remembering her frantic run from one hundred irate bees.

‘Well, psycho might be a little harsh,’ Ryo quipped. ‘The blue paint he selected DID go well with your hair.

‘Yes. And he did act somewhat responsibly. The quicksand only went up to your chin. It wasn’t his fault that the workmen digging the pit broke into the sewer main.’ Maya grinned, remembering a mud-caked and somewhat malodorous Kaname chased by a swarm of angry stinging insects. Her grin widened, when she remembered Sousuke cleaning her off---and chasing away the bees---with the fire hose.

‘And Kaname, you only hung upside down by your ankle for five minutes. He was ready to cut you down right away. That wasn’t freakish. You just told him to stay away....’ Kyouko saw Ryo and Maya nod their heads.

‘I see. Fine group of friends I have. Maybe Kim will prove to be better company.
At the very least, I can warn her about that moody military misfit. HMMPPFF!!!’ Kaname had stomped off in a bad mood after that.

She ran across Kim as the Korean girl was leaving the nurse’s office.

O No! Did Sousuke chase her down after I lost sight of him. Great. Just great. That’s all the school would need, a smear on its tattered reputation. ‘Crazed maniacal boy attacks transfer student.’ Maybe if she apologized and offered to be of whatever help she could, Kim wouldn’t feel a need to contact the media or
the authorities.

At least there are no visible bandages..... no limps or limbs held close to her body..... no ice packs or bottles of painkillers. But, it was the emotional damage Kaname was more concerned about.

“Kim! Wait up!” Kaname ran, nearly knocking over a pair of underclassmen.

Kim Jun stopped, and looked for the source of the voice. She bowed when Kaname walked up.

“Are you OK? I saw you leave the nurse’s office. Sousuke didn’t do anything to hurt you, did he?” Kaname crossed her fingers. “He is NOT representative of the type of students we have at this school. As class representative, I have done my best to keep him in line, but there’s always something....” Kaname spread her hands out in resignation.

“My name is Kaname, by the way. Kaname Chidori.”

“I am pleased to meet you under somewhat less formal conditions.” Kim managed a tentative smile. “I was merely bringing my immunization records to the medical office as required. Actually, Mr. Sagara was kind enough to show me the way. He kept his questions to a minimum. I found out that he has been in many countries as well. And, he had been young when he lost his parents.... Just like me.”

What is she smiling like THAT for? I hope she doesn’t turn out to be like Sousuke. Not that it’s her fault that she has been dragged from place to place---she’s not some mercenary or military nut. She couldn’t find Sousuke interesting, could she? I may have to explain things to her in more detail, so she knows just what type of an otaku she is dealing with.

Yes, it is my civic duty to steer her as far away from Sousuke as is humanly possible.

Kaname also felt a slight twinge of irritation---Sousuke was not the only one who had lost a parent. Kim shouldn’t start off by overlooking all of his obvious faults because of something like that.

The nerve of Sousuke, trumping me that way. I was going to share my mother’s death with her as a way to show her that she was not alone.

No. It is NOT jealousy. Why would Kaname Chidori be jealous over anything having to do with that One Man Natural Catastrophe. Could anyone ever be jealous regarding a typhoon, mudslide, or earthquake? Hardly!!!

And, what did it matter if she shared his past with her? That doesn’t make my past any less relevant.

“Well, it’s nearly lunch time. Would you like to come with me? I’m certain that all of my friends would be eager to meat you, and would gladly make you feel at home.” Kaname smiled her largest smile.

She was worried about Kim, knowing about the difficulties a transfer student could face. Bigotry is a terrible thing. So are preconceived notions. Things had been so bad for Kaname when she came back from America, that she had actually contemplated suicide at one time. Her friends were nothing like the jerks she
faced back in Junior High.. And, until Kim got her feet on the ground, there would certainly be safety in numbers, so to speak.

“I thank you for your kind offer. That is most considerate. I had asked Mr. Sagara to give me a tour of the lunch facilities. Would it be alright if he joined us at the table?”

Kim’s eyes cleared indicated that she was hoping for a ‘Yes.’

“Sousuke?” Kaname almost choked. She couldn’t think of any way to suggest that she herself would be a better guide, without sounding conceited or overly anxious. She was merely concerned about the well being of a new classmate. That was all. Definitely. What was wrong with her head today. Too damn many
questions!

“Yes. I have not overstepped my bounds, have I? Is Mr. Sagara someone you have a personal relationship with?” Kim’s jaw clenched. “I saw no reason to consider that, after seeing your reaction to him in class.”

“No! Of course not. Me and Sousuke? AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHHHH!!!” Kaname’s
laugh could serve like a dinner bell for a pack of dogs. She would have to shepherd Kim out of the area before all of her friends came running to see what was up. “He just isn’t the first.... or second..... or thirtieth person I would choose to give anyone a tour. But, if walking with someone you feel a common bond with makes you feel more comfortable....”

“Thank you. Thank you very much!” Kim bowed again, the formality beginning to get on Kaname’s nerves. In some ways, the young Korean woman seemed like the polar opposite of Sousuke. “I look forward to sitting with you and your friends.”

Kaname remained frozen to the spot, when Sousuke walked by and spoke with Kim.

Why? Was she that worried about Kim’s safety and first impressions of the school? Yes. Who could blame her?

“Kaname. I shall commence with my tour of the lunch time dining facilities. Do you wish to accompany Miss Jun and myself on that mission?” Sousuke’s expression as neutral and unconcerned.

Why isn’t he sweating. Around most new girls, Sousuke usually sweats. Especially if they pay him any particular notice. The big idiot. Perhaps Kim doesn’t register on him as a girl. That would be good! Hmm? No. It really wouldn’t matter. Either way.

Kim had taken to staring at her shoes. The tic was back again.

“No, Sousuke. You go right ahead. Just stay out of trouble, OK?” Kaname clenched her fists. If Sousuke started referring to everything as a ‘mission’ around the girl, he was going to get a firm reminder of the conceptual boundaries of the ‘No Otaku Zone.’

“Affirmative. It will not be a problem. What kind of trouble could possibly arise in the eating facilities?” Sousuke led Kim down the hallway.

What kind of problem? Did Sousuke have a bad case of short term memory loss? That, AND long term memory dysfunction? Geez!

At first incredulous, Kaname began to feel strange.

What am I feeling? Why do I have an urge to follow the two of them?



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Her eyes are brown. Both of them. Color and size are relatively similar.

Those eyes are calm, almost too calm. The pupils do not dilate or constrict much when she should be showing shock or surprise.

She does not seem to pay close attention to things. Abrupt movement does not lead to an increase in her breathing rate. Her flinching is purely a reflexive action.

Likewise, she shows little reaction to loud noises, excessive numbers of discordant sounds, or irritating chatter. She will therefore be immune to Kaname and her friends. Others have been of lesser constitution.

Drugs? Doubtful. There are no recognizable physiological signs. Disinterest? No. She does blink rapidly at times, especially when I touch on her past. Organic brain disease? I am not qualified to judge her in that regard.

It is almost as if she is looking inward more than out. She could be like some streams and rivers---quiet and still near the top, but swift and powerful deeper in. That by itself is no concern. I perceive no apparent threat. Yet. She may be defending herself subconsciously against a difficult shift in environments.

Her movement is not unpleasant. I do not understand why that weighs heavily on my thoughts. Fortunately, the manner in which her upper and lower curvature fluctuates does not confound my senses as much as Kaname does. I may have deficiencies in geometric perception and fractal elements. I must remain
cognizant of blood flow issues in my nether regions.

There is nothing of the athlete about her. There is no inherent grace or well-honed precision. Her steps are not measured. Her movements are neither choreographed nor restrained. I have not seen any sign of training in offensive or defensive arts. However, there are those who are skilled enough to mask identifying features.

Her odor is also somewhat more than acceptable. It may reflect on a healthy diet. Her hygiene is given high priority, and her choice in soap and body lotion is functional without being excessive or challenging. There is no scent of exotic places or esoteric materials.

She does not seem intent on using fragrances as a means to attract followers, or to warn others to keep their distance. Similarly, there is no overabundance in jewelry or accessory items. A look inside her purse did not yield any worrisome clues. Her lipstick did not conceal a gun. Her compact had no hidden circuitry.

I have appropriated one breath mints for chemical analysis.

The tone and pitch of her voice varies. More so then with most other students. At times she seems confident, self-assured, and goal-oriented. Just as often, however, she sounds anxious, frustrated, or resigned. Again, that could all be a product of her past---it may be difficult to gain an understanding of a new place, only to realize that such knowledge will soon prove meaningless when it is time to move on again.

I have been there.

Her past is traumatic, as is mine. More so than Kaname’s. There is no sound of uncertainty when she speaks of her parents’ death in an automobile accident.

The pain and anguish regarding the time spent in orphanages, foster homes, and back allies is only too obvious.

I cannot accurately read her response to her current benefactors. There is great longing, a need for acceptance and appreciation. But, there is an undercurrent of doubt, highlighted by a lingering touch of disapproval and suspicion.

It is a personal matter. It is my task to make certain that it has no professional bearing.

In any case, she certainly bears closer watching. I do not know why that makes me feel relieved and possibly even intrigued. Perhaps it is my need to discover any possible underlying secrets. It may be that her seeming inability to take offense or rush to judgment is a calm island in a rough sea. It is not important. It is not a problem. I will deal with it as the situation dictates.

She wished to have a tour of the dining facilities. I have done so with strict economy of words and movements. My task has been completed admirably, or so I judge. Her reactions appear to confirm my own. There is a sense of eagerness---almost a thirst or longing---when she speaks of spending time with as many different people as possible. I do not understand that motivation.

‘So many tables,’ she had said. ‘So many students. O, I want to get to meet them all.’

No doubt Kaname would find that sentiment acceptable. She does not understand my desire to limit my relationships, or to focus my attentions. Sometimes it seems she wishes me to pay attention to others, so I do not infringe upon her personal space. That is regrettable. It makes defending her difficult. It also makes me
feel uneasy, though I know not why

Professional concerns, most likely.

At other times, Kaname seems unhappy when I notice others. I do not understand the disparity of the situations. The nuances escape me. There is a complexity to civilian life and teenage social dynamics. I fear I shall never grasp the subtleties, not when I am faced with so many conflicting situations.

It is not important. It does not affect my efficiency as a bodyguard. It does not adversely impact my academic standing. Kaname calls me an idiot, moron, and stupid head. Among other things. Kurz calls them terms of endearment. Mao simply smiles. Perhaps Kaname’s evaluation is correct.

But, she consistently forgets that I am a specialist.

This is puzzling. It is important to evaluate Miss Jun now. Why have my thoughts shifted almost entirely to Kaname? It must be a matter of familiarity. When I learn the use of a new weapon, I often find myself thinking about those that I am more familiar with by means of comparison. That is not otaku. That is fact. It is professional necessity.

“Well Sousuke, I notice that the school and Miss Jun are in one piece. I can’t say that I’m not surprised. Whatever you did right, remember it..... PLEASE!” Kaname is smiling at Miss Jun. That is apositive sign. It is a class representative’s job to make any new admission’s entry into the student
population efficient and comforting.

My case was a curious exception. I probably caught Kaname at a bad time in her life. Despite what she might think.

“So Sousuke, is she your new girlfriend?” Why is Kyouko taking snapshots. Does she forget what people look like when she leaves the school? He academic results do not suggest short term cognitive inadequacies. Also, why would she assign Miss Jun as my girlfriend. Classes have not covered interpersonal relations as of yet. She may be reading ahead.

“She IS really pretty....” Maya winked at Kyouko. I cannot figure out the connection. I have written this down before, but have had no time to follow up.

Do girls have a secret non-verbal language?

Would Sgt. Major Mao or Captain Testarossa speak truthfully of such matters?

“And she’s so polite, kind, and quiet.” Why did Maya and Kyouko both turn to stare at Kaname?

“I bet she hasn’t hit you even once, has she Sousuke?” Ryo is sometimes prone to excessive laughter, in a relative sense. Her volume does not reach Kaname’s maximum decibel level, however. “I bet a boy can really appreciate that.”

Kaname is clenching her fists tightly once more. I will not inform her of the dangers of carpal tunnel syndrome again. Some people are refractory to learning.

And, I do not wish to be kicked in my private area.

Miss Jun is blushing. Her eyes keep darting towards me, then away. Does she expect me to be adept at the secret language? Is she asking me to come to her defense? Perhaps she feels discomfort at the current topic of discussion.

“Come on guys, ease up on our new classmate. NO ONE deserves to be accused of being Mr. Personality’s girl, especially before she gets used to our types of jokes. If she thinks that’s what’s expected of her, she might jump off of the top of the school!” Kaname’s laughter is inappropriate.

Suicide is not a humorous subject.

Nor is the school an effective building for high impact injury. A high rise or bridge would be much more suitable.

“Or you might push her off. Right?” Mizuke always seems to be challenging Kaname in some fashion. No doubt it is in response to her poor treatment at the hands of that Shirai person. Her blame for that incident remains misplaced.

She does allow me the opportunity to evaluate Kaname’s ongoing emotion growth and attempts at impulse control.

“What? Why? How could I possibly care what ANYONE chooses to do with a misguided military malcontent?” Kaname is prone to overexaggeration. In the military, those who are misguided or malcontent often end up in trouble- --in the brig, or expelled from the service. If she has doubts of my military abilities, perhaps I will need to demonstrate more of my skills.

“Who could possibly take an interest in someone like him? AH HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HAH.”

That laugh again. Does it diminish the long term auditory acuity of people in close proximity to her? I shall have my hearing checked when I return to Da Danaan. Perhaps I will ask the technological staff for noise filters.

“I think Mr. Sagara is very nice.” That admission sounded strained, but honest. Why is Miss Jun changing colors? Does she have a circulatory problem like Kaname? It warrants further study.

Why does her response make me feel uncomfortable? Perhaps because it will prompt more loud responses from Kaname? Or, because she may wish to enlist my services as a tour guide more extensively. That would compromise my ability to observe Kaname.

“I think..... O, sorry. I am speaking out of place.” Her hands are clasped tightly in her lap. She noticed me looking at her! She is biting her lip. I must not be so obvious in my actions. I do not wish to place her on the defensive.

“It’s OK, Kim. We're all allowed to express our opinions, even if they are crazy!” Kaname is smiling. Why then is she stabbing her rolled omelet with her fork again and again. She is actually causing the plate to move about.? Does the meal need to be more tender.

Perhaps I can help.

“Kaname? Is your egg dish of too firm a consistency? This small yield concussion grenade cold soften it considerably, if placed within safe confines---a trash receptacle or your locker might suffice.” I must make the offer. It is polite. She says I must be more thoughtful.

Maybe I should offer one to Miss Jun as well, so she does not feel excluded.

“Or, this knife will be more proficient than the standard school issue fork.” I trust Kaname. I will allow her to make use of my combat knife if she so desires.

“Sousuke. YOU MORON!!! Put those stupid things away. GEEZ!!!” Kaname sounds upset.

WHAMMMMMMM!!!

Kaname IS upset. Again. That hurt. Considerably. I hope that Miss Jun is not frightened. She may need reassurance.

“Miss Jun, you should not feel any fear or trepidation. Miss Chidori’s occasional emotional imbalance and excessive demonstrations of surprise and or discontent will not be directed physically towards other females.” Perhaps it would ring true if I add further analysis. There is no harm in going the extra mile.

“It may simply be that she has difficulty accepting offers of assistance, due to a troubled youth not entirely dissimilar to that we both faces Or, her pride and dependence on her not inconsequential abilities may cause her to devaluate other people at times..” That ought to suffice. The insight may also serve to diffuse Kaname’s rage.

SLAMMMMMMMM!!!

“Sousuke.... You.... You.... You....” Kaname’s fist is not as effective as a halisen. But, it is an infinitely reusable resource. And, it gets the job done. I have suggested to Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin in the past that Kaname be enrolled in some form of self-defense course.

I’m glad he disagreed.

“I should apologize to you Kim,” Kaname said, tossing her hair. “Sousuke has a long history of mistakes, mishaps, blunders, and inappropriate statements. It weighs heavily on us all from time to time.”

“All of us except me,” Mizuke said, a nasty glint in her eye.

“Or me.” Ryo smiled.

“Me either.” Maya grinned.

“I think it’s all fun.” Kyouko took everyone’s picture. Why did Miss Jun seem momentarily frantic?

“Other people tink so too....” Mizuke began listing a seemingly endless procession of names.

“In any case, I think we have spent far too much time on Sousuke. We should be paying much more attention to YOU.” The look that Kaname gave the other girls
did not seem to be one of friendship.

It was more akin to the look a cobra gives to a rodent foolish enough to wander within its striking distance.

Perhaps such challenges serve to strengthen emotional bonds, if the action does not severe such connections altogether.

“If there is anything that you are curious about, please ask me. If you have any problems, any one of us would be only too happy to help. If you like, I would be happy to cook you dinner tonight, and show you around Tokyo. After that, I bet you will receive similar offers from a number of girls.” Kaname is smiling.

She is an incredibly generous person. It is an admirable trait. I wish she were less generous with large paper fans.... containers of water.... knees....chairs... loose shoes.... elbows.... purses.... trays of food.... fists.... text books.... blackboard erasers.... taxi cabs....

The look on Miss Jun’s face is well-contained. But, for a moment, there was a calculating look in her eyes, and a trembling at the corner of her mouth. Is there something she needs?

Is there something she is afraid of?

“I thank you for your gracious offer. I will accept. I must say that I am amazed by the level of kindness I am receiving. I have never been treated this way before.”

There is a strong but brief sense of regret. A sense of loss, or lost opportunities. I have felt that before, but disregard it. Such feelings serve no purpose on patrol or in combat.

The conversation is difficult to follow. Girl subjects. Female perspective. Jindai High would be wise to offer a full semester course on that. But, there is only so much room on any curriculum, and half of the students are already well-versed in those subjects.

Clothing?

Why does that warrant so much emphasis? Why should their be any consideration beyond practicality and function?

Pop groups?

Why are there so many? For what reasons do peoples opinions vary so much? Such music does not aid in one’s duty as a student. It could very well serve as a powerful distraction, and a drain on monetary resources.

Boys?

Why do they huddle together and exclude me? I am a ready resource. I AM a boy. Who better to give insights into the male being? It must be some form of flocking instinct. Perhaps nascent nesting behavior.

Ah. Korea.

That is a more appropriate topic. They have already touched upon areas of their interest. It would now be a good thing for me to offer up my areas of expertise.

“No doubt you are familiar with the cinematic work of your homeland, or its Asian neighbors. Have you, perhaps, had opportunity to assess the finer points of regional films such as ‘Pulgasari?’” She should have knowledge of that film. Not too many North Korean films are made with kidnapped labor, then offered for
distribution in South Korea.

“Sousuke, that sounds like the name of a toilet bowl cleaner or an antacid tablet. I doubt that Kim wants to talk about ANYTHING with a name like that.” Kaname sounds so self-assured.

But, once again, she is incorrect.

“I do not wish to impugn your knowledge, Kaname. Especially not when I am within reach or you have anything that might serve as a projectile. However, you should check with your source of knowledge. Boryung is a common brand of toilet cleaning substances in Korea. Nuevon produces remedies geared towards the decrease in gastric acidity. Neither of those names sound remotely similar to Pulgasari.”

It is good to allow a moment of pause, for such useful information to sink in. I hope that Kaname’s insecurity regarding incomplete factual references does not prompt her to anger again. Perhaps she will think kindly of me if I make an effort to be supportive.

“Do you wish for me to write those names down for you?”

“Sousuke....”

“No need to thank me, Kaname. As everyone but Kaname is no doubt aware, Pulgasari is a movie that had been banned for over a decade. To some people, the story behind the film is more interesting than the film itself.” It is facts such as that which help to enrich a conversation. I must work on my communication skills, Kaname has repeatedly insisted. This seems a propitious opportunity.

“Uh huh. Sure. I can’t wait. Jerk.”

I have been unsuccessful. But, I cannot do everything for Kaname. There are some problems she must overcome herself.

“It was actually a North Korean film made by a South Korean director. Shin San-Ok was actually abducted and kept under house arrest for years. The Great Leader Kim forced him to make several movies, including this one---he escaped just before it was completed. No one in the international market wanted to buy the film. It was shown in a small release in this country.”

“Thank you for that remarkable summary, Sousuke. Now, ladies, let’s decide what we should do about next week’s dance. Kim, if you have any suggestions....”

Kaname’s attention span is worrisome from time to time. Perhaps I should suggest to Captain Testarossa that we have her tested for Attention Deficit Disorder.

A trial of Ritalin may prove beneficial.

“I am not finished, Kaname. You have my permission to discuss dance related issues at the completion of my conversation. You need not feel in my debt. You are a highly capable organizer. I trust you implicitly in that regard.”

Good. Her immediate anger melted away. She smiled. Progress is a positive thing.

“I do think that you could use some instruction in conversational courtesy, however.”

Hmmm.

Her smiles seem so fleeting.

She needs to get in touch more with her emotions.

“Set during the Koryo Dyanasty---918 A.D. up until 1391 A.D.---the story began with an oppressive edictpassed by the governor of one province. He decreed that all iron in the area be used for weapons.”

It was not an entirely foolish decision. Greater numbers of soldiers would have helped maintain his rule. Increased numbers of warriors require larger numbers of weapons. I will not burden them with such facts. Lunch break is supposed to be a time for more frivolous topics, or so Kaname has implied many times.

“Sousuke! If this is another crazy military film... I.... I....I....”

Kaname’s stuttering could be related to sleep deprivation. It might prove helpful to her to place anesthetizing gas in her vent system at night. I will discuss that possibility with Sgt. Major Mao and Sgt. Weber.

Hopefully the vocal disturbances do not indicate a significant shortage in necessary minerals and vitamins.

“That included all of the farming tools. Women were crying about the loss of their cooking pots. Men were planning a Revolution. One blacksmith, by the name of Takse, hatched a plan. He told the governor’s men that a legendary beast by the name of Pulgasari ate the iron during the night. The governor was not
impressed, and jailed the man.”

“Who in their right mind would buy THAT story, Sousuke? And who would want to watch that movie? AH HA HA HAH!”

“After our next study session, perhaps you would like to watch the film, Kaname? You have told me on numerous occasions that it is not wise to jump to conclusions.”

Why did Kaname spit out that fruit she was chewing on? Perhaps it was rotten. She should frequent a more responsible grocer.

I just missed the look in Miss Jun’s eye. She seemed disappointed, almost unhappy.

“Me? Watch that film? Surely...”

“Good. I am glad that you accept the offer. I will now continue.”

“B-B-But...”

Kaname is getting angry again. Perhaps she does not wish me to ruin the plot.

“Maybe it would be good if you sat at another table, Kaname.” It is my duty to look out for her best interests.

Why are Ryo and Maya slapping their hands together with one another?

“That way I will not ruin the surprise for you.” Kaname should appreciate my thoughtfulness.

“I..... do..... not..... care.....” Kaname’s teeth are clenched. She may need more calcium in her diet.

“Good. It is not a problem, then. I shall resume my discourse. The blacksmith was not allowed food. But, his children sneaked some through the bars. He did not eat it---instead, he fashioned rice and other materials into a doll. He soon died of malnutrition,. Kaname, that brings up an observation. You have not eaten your food today. If your cooking is insufficient, you may need to seek proper dietary staples in the form of purchased meals.”

“Sousuke....”

“Perhaps your friends will have suggestions for you later. I will continue. One of the blacksmith’s daughters took the item he had crafted. While sewing, she pricked her finger, spilling blood upon the doll. It came to life, and began eating all of the iron it could find. It was Pulgasrai. The creature aided the cause of the leader of the revolt.”

They are all speechless. No doubt, the poignant nature of the story has captured their attention. Sometimes I wish I could feel the depths of emotions that others do.

“Well, now that you have enlightened us all....”

“I am glad you feel that way, Kaname. For your benefit, I shall elaborate further. The film plays out a bit differently than most giant monster movies--- Pulgasari is a much more politically active kaiju than his brethren. It helps the farmers by leading their army against the King's army. After winning a few battles and gorging on the spoils of war, the monster grows to be 100 feet tall.”

“Fine, fine. Now about the dance....”

“But, the defeat of the evil government is not the end of the movie. The monster continues eating iron. And demands that the peasants feed him farming implements and the like. Can he be stopped? I will not go any further. I do not wish to remove any reason to see the film.”

“Are you done yet?” Kaname is tapping her foot somewhat furiously. It may be a cramp. That heightens my concern about mineral deficiencies and insufficient food.

“In a moment. I will add that Shin moved to America a few years back--- changed his name---and helped produce an American version of Pulgasari called Galgameth. Do you wish to know about that movie?”

“NO!!!” Everyone shouted.

They must wish to save something for another day. Clever of them.

“Yes,” Miss Jun said timidly. “If I may. Later.”

Kaname fell off of her chair. I must check the coefficient of friction when I have opportunity. Unsafe seating equipment is an unforgivable hazard and should not be tolerated. The money saved for school trips may be better spent on quality furniture. I will mention that to Kaname later.

“That would be good. Perhaps we can also discuss another Korean film, ‘Yonggary’---another second rate but enjoyable kaiju movie. It too has an interesting history. It was meant to be South Korea’s breakout film, but almost no one saw it. The director made use of the most extras ever in a movie. If the others are not interested, perhaps we can find time for a conversation at your convenience.”

It would be a good way to learn more about Miss Jun. She may let something slip if she is more at ease. I will need to enlist back-up to keep an eye on Kaname in my absence.

“Thank you. I would appreciate that. My apartment has cooking facilities. I have been told that I am a passable cook.” She smiled. But, suddenly she looked as if she were beset by guilt, even fear. “But, if that is too forward of me....”

“It is not a problem. I....”

“You’re new here. You shouldn’t be the one doing the work. How about we make it a point to have dinner at MY place. “Kaname spoke quickly, almost before Miss Jun had finished. That level of concern for one’s fellow classmate is evidence of a good leader.

“I do not want to be an imposition....”

We could... uh... watch the... movie... if you really want to.” Kaname’s smile looked friendly, but there is a strange glow in her eyes. She may also need an opthalmological examination.

I will add that to my list.

“I enjoy cooking. I’m certain the rest of the girls will want to joins us. Right?” Kaname looked at Ryo,
Maya, Mizuke, and Kyouko. Ren too, as she had just pulled up a chair.

“Sorry. Dental work!” Maya put in quickly.

“I didn’t even mention a date...” Kaname growled.

“I know. I’m having it done tomorrow. I won’t be able to eat anything solid for a while.”

“I see...” Kaname sounded as if she was in complete agreement with Maya’s claim.

Why is Maya cringing? It must be an extensive procedure.

“My family will be visiting.” Ryo added, not looking at Kaname or even in her general direction.

“Ryo, you LIVE with your family.” Kaname was not amused. The veins at her temples are pulsing.

“Extended family. People I didn’t even know existed. It will go on for weeks. It will be SUCH a chore! A dirty job, but someone has to do it....” Ryo began to sweat.

Ren had disappeared.

Mizuke, too.

“Kyouko, I know I can count on YOU, right?” Kaname’s look is rather intense. She must really want her friends to benefit from the same cultural experience that she will experience. That is a good friend. I hope the others are cognizant of that fact.

“I won’t know until you name a date, Kaname.” Kyouko’s eyes are very wide.

“I am very impressed that you are doing this, Kaname. I thank you.” Kaname looks as if she needs a supportive gesture. It is often helpful to tell the truth. But, sometimes it is also painful. No matter. A soldier cannot let the possibility of danger or discomfort stay his hand. “If you like, I can bring all three movies.”

“NO!!!” Kaname fell out of her seat again.

That is definitely a problem. I will bring pieces of the chair to Sgt. Major Mao to have the materials analyzed.

“We couldn’t give the one movie the..... attention..... It deserves.” Perhaps I should purchase Kaname a copy of the movie. It is good to encourage that kind of enthusiasm.

This should provide an opportunity to kill multiple avian creatures with a single projectile. Kaname will learn Korean culture. Miss Jun will have a chance to fit in. I will be able to observe her actions around Kaname, to see if any untoward tendencies come to the fore.

I will need to set up a back-up---Sgt. Major Mao and Sgt. Weber. I will need to hide an extra wide-view camera at Kaname’s apartment when she is out.

Kurz and Melissa will no doubt wish to watch the movie as well.



************************************************************


************************************************************



I am fitting in.

At least, it would appear that way to an outside observer.

How can I ever consider myself part of any group?

I am not at any place for very long.

I will tear apart the fabric of any small community I visit, if I find what
Jorgen is seeking.

He should have been pleased. He was not. This is the quickest I have been accepted into any group. It doesn’t matter. His expectations continue to skyrocket. His praise and support border on non-existent.

Then again, my own satisfaction with my work is suffering. The question is ‘why?’

“When a man suspects any wrong, it sometimes happens that if he be already involved in the matter---he insensiby works to cover up his suspicions even from himself.”

Jorgen has told me that on a number of occasions. Should I in turn tell him that I have my doubts about the work I do? Does he somehow suspect that? Is that why he grows colder day by day? Or, am I just imagining things?

I can not afford to sink into despair. I must keep my spirits up, so I can put on a convincing show.

For the students.

For Jorgen.

I should now assess my progress to this point.

No bites yet. Not even any nibbles. One must be patient in fishing. First and foremost, there may not be any fish at this site. Or, if there are fish present, the bait may be sitting in the wrong area. Perhaps the fish are not yet inclined to bite.

I have time.

At least, that was what I was originally told. If I fail to find anyone here, that will be five schools in a row without a catch. Will Jorgen blame me? His eyes will get like *that* again?

It is best not to doubt myself.

As long as I do my best, I will have no reason to feel ashamed.

Jorgen has said that he can find others like me. Maybe someone else would be more dedicated at their work. Perhaps I am burned out.... used up.... ready for discarding. If I serve no further value, will I go to the mysterious fate that the others have gone to?

I must continue to believe.

What is there to gain from this doubt?

The next step would be unthinkable--- I do not wish to question Jorgen or the purpose he has given me.

"It is NOT simply vengeance on dumb and thoughtless brutes,” Jorgen insisted. “I am NOT assigning too much evil to individuals who simply act from blindest instinct! Never consider it madness! My concerns are neither that nor blasphemy."

He seems so eager to convince me.

He doesn’t understand that my understanding is not what is important.

Whatever makes him happy, will eventually satisfy me.

Still---that being said---a part of me wishes that I could stay here.

But, I can NEVER let Jorgen catch wind of that. He will think I do not appreciate the opportunities I have been given. He may indeed abandon me altogether.

I would have no will to live after that. Jorgen is everything.

Why the longing, then? Perhaps I simply want something more than everything. That’s only normal, isn’t it?

I do not think Jorgen would judge it so.

“People are all born with halters round their necks; but it is only when faced by death or tragic events, that most me realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life. Be fortunate I am here to guide you. I will warn you of the dangers. If you find yourself reaching too far, I may not be there to catch you in time!”

He also never loses a chance to describe the importance of my task.

“It’s a noble craft, even if it carries a feeling of melancholy! All noble things are touched with that. Are you capable of serving mankind as I do? If so, you will not be put off by the sad part of your duty. I rejoice in my spine, as in the firm audacious staff of that flag which I fling half out to the world. The greater good. We must always keep our eye on that, even if no one but you and I appreciate the good that we do. “

I repeat that to myself. Everyday. Each and every evening. When I go to sleep and when I wake.

No doubt I will never feel as good about what I do as Jorgen does.

But, it doesn’t matter. It’s for him. It’s for Jorgen.

It is my destiny. It is why I found my way to him.

“I am the fates’ Lieutenant. I act under their command.” That is one of his favorite statements.

It is no less certain that I act under his command. But, am I still following the fullest meaning of his orders?

I described everyone I have met to Jorgen. None of the descriptions gave him any reason for concern. But, there was one exception.

I did not mention Sousuke.

My tongue was paralyzed. I willfully went against Jorgen’s expressed wish. Why? What will happen if he ever finds out?

I did not wish to mention Sousuke.

How could I let Jorgen down in that manner? The secret is gnawing away at my heart like a small persistent mouse.

I purposefully strove not to mention Sousuke.

But was my action really wrong?

I know Jorgen’s feelings towards the Whispered.

“I'll follow them across dangerous ground..... through raging maelstrom..... and around perdition's flames before I give even one of them up!”

If Sousuke were Whispered, I would have no choice but to turn him in. But if he is not, what harm is there in keeping knowledge of him away from Jorgen?

Why do I find myself thinking about Sousuke Sagara? He may remind me of Jorgen in some ways, but he is NOT Jorgen.

Is it because he is inquisitive? Do I think perhaps he might stumble upon my hidden purpose? Does part of me want that secret uncovered?

Maybe it is Sousuke’s forthrightness, and straightforwardness. He does not play games. He does not flatter or deceive. He treats school and life as if it were his responsibility, not some hodgepodge of angst and opportunity. Yes. He is like me in that way. Only he does not carry any secrets. He is not fooling anyone.

Sousuke.

I keep using his personal name. I should be thinking of him as Mr. Sagara. That form of address keeps people distant. I cannot allow myself to feel too close to anyone. Not even Sousuke. Sousuke least of all. Sousuke. Sousuke is not Jorgen. Sousuke can never do for me what Jorgen once did.

Sousuke. Sousuke Sagara.

I find my heart pounding around him. I find my tongue tied in needless knots. It is difficult to hard to meet his gaze. I am drawn to look at him, when there is no good reason to.

Sousuke.

Maybe it is his strength I am drawn to, because I feel a need for more and more strength every day.

Shouldn’t Jorgen be my strength?

No.

Jorgen expects me to be strong on my own, despite what he might say to the contrary. I can never allow him to sense any weakness.

Sousuke. Sagara.

He is ultimately of no importance. Sousuke has no hold on me. Neither do any of the others, regardless of how much kindness they show me.

I cannot afford to go that route again. I can never again feel sorry for the ones I betray--- no matter how strongly my heart cries out at times, I have no business making friends.

I have no need for gratitude.

It is not my duty to become attached to people.

Not even Sousuke.

“Human madness is often times a cunning and most feline thing. When you think it fled, it may have but become transfigured into some still subtler form.”

Jorgen’s point is clear. The Whispered may seem like people. They may even appear to be rich in all of the human virtues. But deep inside, an evil lurks.

Miss Chidori?

I cannot let her generosity keep me from my task.

Miss Tokiwa?

Her sweet disposition will not prevent me from doing my job.

Miss Kojima, Miss Mukai, or Miss Inaba?

There can be no exceptions.

Not for them.

Not for anyone.

L'chaim

promising ... very promising ..