FullMetal*Panic!

The Western Literature class was a veritable beehive of activity. Students were paired up and given their individual assignments. Endless series of discussions and debates were taking place, and some fortunate souls were also learning lessons about teamwork and prioritization of tasks.

Some few were also learning or revisiting important lessons in life.

Sousuke was teamed with Kim Jun. ‘Don Quixote,’ by Miguel de Cervantes, was the literary work they were given to work on. Sousuke diligently paid attention to the task at hand. Kim tried to as well, but found herself paying attention to Sousuke’s words and mannerisms when she should be working on relevant passages.

Kaname, Kyouko, Ryo, and Ren were responsible for Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo & Juliet.’ Between laughter, pleas for more dilligence, and moments of careful concentration, Kaname found herself listening in on Sousuke’s and Kim’s conversation more and more.

‘She’s new here. The last thing she needs is to be embarrassed academically.’ Kaname was convinced she was being altruistic in her eavesdropping. ‘I need to make certain that a certain muddle-headed military mayfly doesn’t lead Kim down the wrong path.’

Ryo nudged Maya in the ribs. Maya tugged on Kyouko’s pigtail. They all watched Kaname, without her knowing she was being watched. Ryo scribbled ‘Sousuke a Montague?’

Maya wrote ‘You betcha!’ She then penned ‘Kaname a Capulet?’

Kyouko imply drew a heart with an arrow through it. They left their mischief where Kaname would be certain to stumble across it.

“We should perform our mission with utmost efficiency!” Sousuke informed Kim. “The other students will depend on our analysis. It is our duty to perform a complete reconnaissance action, leaving no areas unsearched.”

“OK. Whatever you say, Sousuke.” Kim rested her chin on her hands. She blushed, realizing she had actually smiled for no reason. What was she doing?

“’Whatever you say, Sousuke‘...” Kaname grumbled to herself. “He goes otaku, and she encourages him. That will never do. She HAS to realize what she is setting herself up for. It’s for everyone’s best interest.”

Ryo held her hands up to her chest, pretending to swoon. She made certain she was out of Kaname’s line of sight.

“O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” Maya said.

“What?” Kaname asked, snapping herself back to attention. She made as if she were rubbing her eyes.

“Nothing. Just trying out one of the famous lines,” Maya said with a straight face. Ryo had to turn away, tears of amusement running down her eyes. Kyouko made it a point to run up to the front of the classroom to get more paper. They already had enough for two projects.

“How did Alonso Quejana differ from his contemporary Spanish country gentleman,” Sousuke grilled Kim. “What in his psychological profile would lead one to expect his deviation from normal behavior. It is a crucial point. We must be certain to obtain this objective.”

“It is my belief that he was addicted to stories about chivalry. Knights, beautiful ladies, squires, magicians---he spent his every waking moment reading about such things. He even sold some of his estate to buy more and more books, addicted to what he read. He was clearly obsessed. He believed what he read was true, not merely fictional tales.”

“Great. They had to give Sousuke a story with an otaku as the main character. Might as well make it tanks, bombers, terrorists, and innocent girls who never did anything to deserves their lives being ruined. HMMPPFF!!!” Kaname had a particularly sour face.

“Kaname? What does that have to do with Shakespeare?” Kyouko asked in an innocent voice.

“NOTHING!!!” Kaname put her hand over her mouth when the teacher looked over.

“Kaname? Are you in some kind of difficulty. Do you need any assistance?” Sousuke stood up and walked over to check on Kaname. He looked down at the table. “You are a Capulet, Kaname? Are the Chidori’s descended from that family?”

“What?” Kaname followed Sousuke’s gaze. She pinked up almost immediately. “I..... had...... no..... problem..... until..... you..... walked...... over.....” She tried to control her breathing. “You are interrupting our work. Kim needs your help, not me.” There was a hint of irritation in that statement. “Get back to work, Sousuke.”

“It is not our problem, Miss Jun.” Sousuke said when he faced Kim again.

“I do not understand why someone had written a question regarding whether or not I were a Montague.” Sousuke did not see the shocked look on Kim’s face as he leafed through the book.

Kim looked over at Kaname.

“A key point to our literary mission appears to be the fact that Mr. Quejana went crazy by obsessing too fiercely on his dreams about knights. Totally unaware of the physical and spiritual necessities to become a knight---and lacking the front line equipment needed by the Spanish equivalent of chevaliers---he nonetheless decided that he was to be a knight. Obsession is a powerful thing. An all-consuming thing.”

Sousuke’s last words were said quietly, accompanied by a distant look in his eyes. Momentarily, he stared out the window. Kim too was caught up in thought, wringing her hands in her lap.

“Yes. Obsession. I understand that.” Kim and Sousuke stared at one another for a brief while after that. Sousuke’s look was clearly an unspoken question, but Kim looked away.

“Great. Obsession. What genius assigned THAT story to Sousuke?” Kaname bit her lip, quickly looking to see if the teacher took note of her rhetorical question.

“O, probably the same person who assigned you a love story, Kaname.” Maya took out a file and began working on her nails, paying no attention to Kaname’s sputtering.

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Or, it was a huge spotlight or nuclear explosion. Maybe explosives in a school locker. How about someone setting fire to the new band uniforms because they looked like the outfits worn by a Baltic terrorist group?” Ryo coughed after she was done.

Kaname began to growl.

Kyouko took a numbert of snapshots.

“He thought his cardboard headgear a lancer’s helmet. His swayback nag was a steed. The name Don Quixote de la Mancha had a ring of heroism to it. He chose his heroine by the fact that she was famous for her skill of salting pork.” Sousuke looked pensive for a moment. He stood. He looked over at Kaname’s table.

“Kaname, I have come across an interesting coincidence. You are good at salting pork, are you not?” Sousuke asked in a loud voice. “Miss Chidori is an adequate cook,” he said in an aside to Kim.

Kaname fell out of her chair. That had Sousuke writing a note in his pocket ledger.

“I bet that ain’t all she’s good at!” One boy yelled out. "Never heard it called salting before." The whole room snickered

“Do not let that bother you, Kaname.” Sousuke tried to be reassuring. “The hero thought of the female character Aldonza as Dulcinea, a noblewoman. I do not think anyone has such delusions about you.”

Ryo, Maya, and Kyouko slid out of their chairs, trying hard not to laugh. Sousuke took more notes.

“S-S-S-...” Kaname sounded like a teapot at brisk boil.

“Miss Jun, where did Mr. Quejana’s outrageous undertakings arise from?” Sousuke was back on track.

“His hallucinations. He thought windmills were giants. When he was shown they were not, he decided that a sorcerer must have turned the giants into windmills to ‘deprive him of the glory of overcoming them.’” Kim wrote down that point in her notebook.

She looked up shyly. “Please, it would be simpler if you called me Kim.”

There was a snapping sound. A broken pencil fell out of Kaname’s hand.

“Are you OK, Kaname?” Kyouko asked. “It could happen to anyone.”

“What’s in a....... name?” Maya chuckled, pausing. “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as....... sweet.......” She coughed. It was easy to make out the name ‘Kim.’

“You are correct, Miss....... Kim.” Sousuke said. Kim smiled. “He once though a herd of sheep was an evil army, and launched an attack. Madness is a frightening thing. I cannot see how anyone professing to be a military individual would make such a mistake otherwise.”

“O, right! How could anyone ever mistake a self defense instructor for a mugger? Or, a paper mache bust for a terrorist? Or a female classmate for an attacker? Or a love letter for a bomb. Or....” Kaname was interrupted by the teacher.

“Miss Chiori, would you like to be reassigned to a different group?”

“N-No. I apologize. I would like to stay where I am.” Kaname looked embarrassed. Soon enough she looked angry. “Sousuke....” she spat under her breath.

“Is Miss Chidori obsessed with military topics?” Kim tried to ask quietly. Kaname froze. “She certainly talks a lot about them. Is that.....”

She stopped, but soon started again. “Is that because she is interested in you, Sousuke?”

Part of Kim hoped Sousuke was out of bounds. Another part hoped he wasn't spoken for. The two parts pushed and tugged at her. She had already asked that question once before. Why was she going over the same ground? Why was trembling?

Kaname would have shattered into a million pieces if she had been sharply struck.

“Negative. Miss Chiodri had already made references to the last man on earth. If that were me, I would still be insufficient.” Sousuke flipped through the book more.

“O, I see.” Kim looked at Sousuke briefly..... caught herself..... then shook her head violently.

“It seems the poor man also charged a group of pallbearers at a funeral, thinking they were demons. He thought a barber’s basin was the mystical Helmet of Mambrino.” Without knowing why she did it, Kim sketched a quick picture of a demon. Purposely, she relaxed her mind, and looked slowly at each person in the room.

There were no tugs on the line. No tentative pulling. The fish were still not biting.

“That arose from his insanity as well,” Sousuke asserted. “But, there are other causes for that kind of mistake. People who are single-minded in their quests may mistakenly demonize the innocent. They may view certain people or things as being something wonderful, when they are not.”

Again, Sousuke spoke from his past. His thoughts obviously struck a chord in Kim, who brought her hand to her mouth. Looking down at her scrap paper, she saw what she had drawn.

She fought hard, trying to keep tears from coming to her eyes. Her doubt stuck her like a white hot needle. Soon enough, she set her shoulders and regained her composure. Her face looked bland and emotionless.

As oblivious as Sousuke could be to a girl’s feelings, he was a keen observer and did not miss Kim’s reaction.

Kaname had been watching as well.

“Sousuke, isn’t enough that you depress one girl with your moody meandering? Do you have to victimize another as well?” The sound in Kaname’s voice was clearly NOT altruism.

“Geez! You might have her stabbing herself, you big idiot. Not because she thinks you are dead, but because she can’t take your nonsense! HMMPPFF!!!” She slammed her clenched fist down on the table.

Maya struck a dramatic pose. “Alack, there lies more peril in her eyes than twenty swords.” She pretended to shiver. “Scary!”

Ryo picked up the book, put one hand to her forehead, and read. “One fire burns out another’s burning; one pain is lessened by another’s anguish.” She smiled at Kaname.

“Peril. Pain. Uh huh.” The look Kaname gave her friends was truly frightening. “Kyouko. Why aren’t you coming to my defense?”

Kyouko didn’t have time to answer.

“Defense? Kaname, are you in danger?” It was Sousuke again. He was standing on his chair, a small pair of binoculars to his eyes. “I see no obvious danger on the grounds outside the class room. The people in the class room are all known to you.”

Sousuke's eyes darted hither and yon, like a pair of swallows on the wing. "Is it someone in the class, Kaname?" Do you suspect someone wishes you harm?"

Kim felt a lump in her throat. She didn't want anyone to start questioning motives and secrets. For any reason, imaged or otherwise.

Kaname’s leg swept out. The chair bounced across the room. For a brief moment, Sousuke hung in the air, a resigned expression on his face.

Kim reached out, trying to break his fall.

The two of them tumbled to the ground. Their lips accidentally touched.

“OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!” Word of what happened quickly spread across the room.

Kim blushed redder than a crimson sunset. Sousuke looked over at Kaname. “It was not like with Mizuke, Kaname. It was not by choice.” Sousuke wasn't certain what prompted him to try and reassure Kaname.

“Why should that matter to me? Anyone could see that. Jerk!!!” Kaname turned her back on Sousuke.

“I see. It is not a problem then. It is good that I will not need to suffer a violent outburst. Or at least, I do not judge Miss Jun to behave in a similar fashion.” Sousuke looked at Kim, who hesitated meeting his glance.

“I would never hit you Sousuke. Especially not for an accident, or something that was as much my fault as yours.” Her look was quizzical. “Why would anyone behave like that?”

“Totally different than someone we know, right?” Ryo asked. She coughed. The sound ‘Kaname’ could be made out.

Kaname raised her fist, then put it quickly down. Not before Maya’s smile lit up her face.

“Moron.” Kaname looked at Sousuke, then looked away.

“True, I talk of dreams....” Kyouko joined the game. Kaname was taken aback. “...which are the children of an idle mind....” Ryo and Maya had their arms out, moving their others arms across them, bowing imaginary violins.

“Begot of nothing but vain.......... fantasy.”

The word fantasy floated about, a taunting spectre.

“Hmmppff! I don’t know what you are talking about!” Kaname folded her arms across her chest and lifted her nose in the air.

Ryo looked at Maya. Maya looked at Kyouko. Kyouko looked at Ryo. All three simultaneously burst into laughter.

Ren walked by, headed towards the rest room. “My group’s reading Paradise Lost,” she said. She looked over at Kim..... back to Kaname..... then smiled.

Ryo, Maya, and Kyouko all applauded.

“How was Don Quixote finally brought low?” Kim asked Sousuke, deciding it was her turn to lead the proceedings.

“People who cared about him. Friends who wanted better for him. They caught him..... put him in a cage..... then dragged him back to his village home. They tried to convince him to give up his chivalry, telling him in no uncertain terms that his delusions were based on fiction, not fact. They thought that the truth would be enough to restore his mind.” Sousuke stooped over to retie his boot string.

He stopped mid-knot.

“Not everyone wants to see the truth. But it’s certainly better that they do....”

He experienced a series of flashbacks, remembering back to a time he was little more than an animal, killing because he thought it was right to kill- --treating life as if it had no worth whatsoever, because that’s what helped ease the pain buried deep in his heart.

“....Even if it makes one see his earlier actions in a different light.”

Kaname forgot her irritation with her friends. The sound in Sousuke’s voice pierced her to the quick. “Sousuke....”

“Yes, Kaname?” Sousuke’s voice was quiet, toneless. But, there was a small hint of tremendous sorrow.

“Are..... are you OK?” Kaname’s eyes were wide. She held her breath.

“OK, Kaname? It is not a problem.”

“O.... then get back to work. No sense wasting your time in idle conversation!” She forced herself to smile, throwing her hair and leafing through the book. “Well, who wants to work on determining the main themes?”

Maya, Kyouko, and Ryo sobered up considerably. They all got back to work.

Kim looked anxious, as if something was really bothering her. Her breathing came quickly, and she began to feel light-headed. It was as if a light were shining on her life, and the missions she undertook.

Doubt was nibbling at the very core of her being.

“He was not just a fool,” Sousuke said. “He was a man with ideals. In many ways, given the evils of the world at the time, I believe Mr. Quejana was admirable. He could not help that he was deluded. It was a fact. But, he was devoted to his ideals. In some ways, he seemed a sane man in a mad world. Not all deluded men can say the same.”

Sousuke stared out of the window again, absentmindedly tapping his pencil against the table top.

Kim breathed somewhat easier, but still looked uncertain.

She forced herself to look at the book, read the lines, and contemplate their significance. But, another thought surfaced, one just as troubling.

Jorgen. Was Jorgen doing what was right? Was he the ray of light in an otherwise bleak world? Or..... or..... or. She didn't want to follow through with that question. A wall came up on its own.

“B-B-But..... He made his way out journeying again. He made the same type of grand but insane postulations and misinterpretations he had made during his earlier adventures. He didn’t stop until he was humiliated by a real knight, and made to renounce any claim to chivalry.” The look Kim turned on Sousuke was intense.

Was Sousuke a true knight?

Was he someone who had found the truth in life?

Or, was he someone riding his own Rocinante, convinced of things that seemed real to him, but had no bearing on the truth?

Why did she find herself desperately needing to know the answer?

“Yes.” Sousuke remembered back to the days when he was first brought into Mithril. The similarity was striking again.

But, there was a notable difference. He had given up his bloody obsession, and that had led him to stay with a group of men and women that practiced something very much like chivalry.

“Then he fell ill, and was told he was dying. His madness cleared and he denounced his earlier foolishness. He died before he could benefit from the truth.” Sousuke realized just how much he had to be grateful for.

How much longer might he had lived, had he followed his earlier path?

His current life was even more dangerous, but it still offered him a chance to live. And, a chance to grow up---he need not be the vengeful Peter Pan he once was.

“Yes, that was sad.” Kim thought of her own life.

She wondered if she was tilting at windmills, convinced that she was doing the right thing.

Was she?

Were her actions justified and necessary?

She squeezed her eyes shut. Her thoughts were painful and confusing. Hope and paranoia wrestled for the upper hand.

Was Sousuke trying to trap her some how?

It sounded as if he spoke from his experience. What had he been through? Was it relevant to her?

For a while, neither of them spoke.

“Sometimes realizing the truth is what matters, right Sousuke?” Kaname asked softly. “Live or die, can’t the person then be proud to have found their way on to the right path? Especially if he goes about helping others, either by his actions or his discoveries?”

Maya and Ryo looked at Kaname, no longer feeling any urge for mischief. It wasn’t often they heard her sound like that. Kyouko felt proud of her friend.

Sousuke didn’t say anything. He didn’t look at anybody. He simply nodded his head.

“Sousuke?” Kim closed the book, grouped the pencils together, then brushed her hair away from her eyes. She hesitated, looking for something in Sousuke's eyes, not knowing what she was searching for.

"Miss Jun?"

“During the free period, would you walk with me? You sound as if you learned a lot through your experiences. I would be interested in knowing what you faced, and how you made your way through it.”

Her own inner voice shouted at her, calling herself a fool and a traitor. Jorgen had given her all of the truth she ever needed. He had done everything for her. What could some veritable stranger say that could be more meaningful than that?

She didn't need to think.

That was Jorgen's job.

He told her so.

She shouted back---what was wrong with asking questions and looking for answers. The truth was the truth was the truth, wasn’t it? There was nothing that would harm her feelings for Jorgen, if what he had told her was true.

But, what if she heard something that made her doubt Jorgen?

Was she prepared to deal with that.

She almost wished she could take back her request.

“Uh....” Sousuke suddenly snapped to attention. He began to sweat ever so slightly. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Sousuke...” Kaname’s tender look evaporated.

“I feel you are someone special, someone I could really like.... to talk with.” Kim blushed.

Something deep within her felt ready to bloom. It had found a ray of sunshine, and that was sufficient. The darkness strove to keep it in check.

“Uh...” Sousuke looked at Kim.

Then Kaname.

Then Kim.

Then Kaname.

Then at a roll of bandages he removed from his pocket. He would need a fresh roll soon.

“Sousuke!” Kaname was looking irritated again.

“It might help me deal with things I haven’t wanted to look at. And, things that might be nice to.....” Kim looked away, grimacing as she stuck her own fingernails into the flesh of her thighs.

She shouldn't think such thoughts.

Those were for other girls.

The less fortunate.

People who could not look forward to Jorgen.

What was going on?

Why?

Why why why why why?

“SOUSUKE!!!” Kaname’s shout quieted the entire class. Everyone looked at her.

“Kaname?” Sousuke met her gaze.

“Well.... ummm.... errr..... Aren’t you going to answer her? It’s not polite to keep a woman waiting.”

Kaname bit her lip.

She had trapped herself somewhat terribly.

No she hadn’t!

What was she biting her lip for?

What did it matter what Sousuke chose to do, or who he chose to do it with?

She was obviously getting too caught up in the assignment. Damn that Shakespeare!

“Affirmative. Yes.” Sousuke nodded to Kim.

There was the sound of another pencil snapping.


*****************************************

*****************************************


The overhead light was buzzing. The bulb flickered on and off, throwing shadows across the room. A man sat in the single chair, gazing out of the window that overlooked the city. So many cars drove past. So many people milled about, doing who knows what, headed who knows where.

He looked over at the phone.

He checked and rechecked his logbook.

He glanced over at his short wave radio.

The window sill was carved. Flecks of wood covered it, the floor, the man’s hand, and the knife it held.

Jorgen was restless.

Which of the countless people passing under his window could be one of THEM?

What was taking Kim so long to target someone?

Anyone.

It didn’t have to be a student.

It could be a bus driver, an apartment manager, a fry cook.

Anyone.

Anyone at all.

That was part of the problem. THEY could be anywhere. THEY could be everywhere. How many more people would suffer as he had? How many others would come to an untimely end like Franz, his younger brother.

Damn that Kim. What was that bitch doing?

She was one of THEM, but she belonged to him. He had pulled her quills. He had given her a purpose for the good. She was useful. As long as she served him well, she was tolerable.

Had she lost her ability?

Was she hiding things?

Could she have gone over to the other side?

Once one of THEM, would she always be one of THEM?

But, she was his only practical tool. The men he worked for had all of the other avenues tapped. Nothing he found there would be new. He needed exclusivity.

He was fortunate he had stumbled across someone so numb, that she could be molded and shaped without resistance. It was a blessing that she needed something to trust in, someone to tell her right from wrong. It was doubly a blessing that she took his word as gospel.

There would never be another like her.

Would there?

She had been the needle in a haystack he hadn’t even been looking for. Fate can be a wonderful provider---and a thief as well.

Franz could attest to that, if he were still living.

THEY had cost his brother a long and fruitful life.

THEY had stolen Jorgen’s closest friend and confidant.

THEY had broken his parents’ hearts.

THEY had stolen their will to fight, to live. His mother should have been able to beat her cancer. His father had been a strong man. The heart attack was THEIR fault.

Jorgen rammed the knife down into the arm of his chair.

He knew he wasn’t just fighting against the Whispered. He was at odds with Nature.

But, researchers and physicians fought Nature everyday. Sickness, disease, mental illness---good and dedicated men worked hard to remove those blights from mankind’s path.

How could he do any less?

He had more reason than most to want to cleanse the world. Unlike many, he had the means to carry out great works.

Franz would have been a great help. Of course, without his brother’s death, he never would have seen the blight threatening mankind.

THEY took his life.

THEY crushed it out of him, as if it were THEIR hands on the levers.

He and his brother were only two years apart in age. They grew up doing everything together. Both had decided to become mercenaries.

They were good at what they did, and their band was in continual demand.

The assignments they accepted may have been small in scale, but they effected the fates of many.

Morality held sway. They were killers, but not indiscriminate. The cause had to
ring true.

And, of course, the payment had to be sufficient.

It had been a small country. Franz had heard some disturbing rumors and wanted to beg off. I forced his hand. We would stay together.... always. Whatever task I accepted would be his task too. We were a team, him and I.

He wasn’t happy, but he’d leave the thinking up to big brother.

Damn THEM. Damn each and every one of THEM to Hell. If I suffer in the boiling blood myself some day, it will be with a smile on my burning face if I can drag THEM all down with me.

It had been a double cross.

The rulers were not concerned about their subjects, they merely wanted to maintain control.

The rebels were small in number, but large in spirit and determination. Our troops triumphed just the same, as we always did. We had accurately judged the threat, and had brought the weapons and supplies needed to eradicate it.... and then some.

But.

We had never seen THOSE monsters before.

Arm Slaves.

Walking machines conjured up in the bowels of that same Hell which beckons me.

They weren’t the right weapon to deal with the rebels. But, they were just right for taking out a band of hired fighters who knew what they shouldn’t know and cost far more than the politicos had any intention of paying.

We fought desperately, knocking some of the machines out of action. We just didn’t have enough firepower to defeat them. It wasn’t about winning-- -it was about breaking free, returning to base alive.

So few of us made it.

Franz didn’t.

I saw him die. I’ve seen the same image again and again and again. It will never go away. It will never stop.

One Arm Slave blocked his path. When he turned to run the other way, a second grabbed him in its hand. The pilot had the speakers on. I heard his terrible laugh as he closed the metal fist as tightly as he could.

Blood oozed out. Blood and other things, that were once Franz. The lifeless body was flung high into the air, landing who knows where. Franz had been treated like the wrapper of a candy bar.... a cigarette butt.... or a spent piece of chewing gum. No, worse then that. Those things do not deserve any consideration.

Franz did.

His whole life..... everything we could have shared together..... it all ended there.

Because of THEM.

THEY had contained the scientific knowledge that made such metal monsters possible. Without THEIR secrets, my brother never would have died like that.

That would have been bad enough.

One of the Arm Slaves had chased me into a shallow tunnel. The operator brought that unholy dagger down again and again, piercing the earth, driving me deeper and deeper into the darkness. The dirt fell all around me. I dug at it frantically with my hands. My fingernails will NEVER be clean. Finally the blade stopped. But I lay trapped, fighting for air. I still don’t know how I managed to claw my way out.

I still have nightmares about that. I wake up, unable to breath, screaming. That giant blade. That falling earth. The taunting calls of the pilot.

I hate THEM more than I hate those misbegotten pilots and those whoreson politicians. THEY probably don’t even know the horror they bring to people. THEY probably don’t even know the price that innocents are forced to pay. THEY should know. THEY should put a stop to it.

It’s all THEIR fault!!!

I know I increase the danger for others. I turn THEM over to the cabal.

Where do the secrets go? That knowledge no doubt creates worse nightmares.

But, the resources are finite. When THEY serve THEIR purpose, THEY cease to be---THEY disappear. One by one the number shrinks. That’s what truly matters. The cabal finds what it wants. It probably doesn’t mine all there is to mine. That terrible untapped knowledge will disappear into the grave.

Besides, I do not turn over every name I find.

I never have.

I never will.

The money is good, and it furthers my work. But, I have a small fortune now. Soon, I will not need to turn ANY over. That doesn’t mean I will stop looking, however.

Not while THEY are still out there.

Not while THEIR very existence is a sin against God.

If I am the only one able to do this work, how can I possibly stop?

THEY won’t stop.

Jorgen rubbed his eyes, trying to make the images go away. Early happier days. His forcing Franz to agree to that fateful mission. The events of that horrid day. Telling his parents what had happened to their only other son. His parents’ deterioration. The stay in the institution. The dagger. That damn questing dagger. The earth. They dam suffocating earth. Franz’ blood.

He took out his log book. The same pattern would suffice. The first discovery of any given month was always handed over. The second was never mentioned to the cabal. The third would call for a coin toss.

After all---as good as his work was---variety remains the spice of life. He didn’t want things to grow stale.

Franz had been an avid coin collector. Jorgen had taken his brother’s favorite coin from his room at the family home, the day of his funeral.

He tossed the coin into the air.



**********************************

**********************************



Sousuke listened attentively. It was not difficult for him. It was like standing at attention, with one’s ears.

Kim’s voice was not unpleasant. He realized that she needed to talk, and thought about debts he owed. There were men who had listened to him when he was at a crossroads. If they had turned their ears from him, he would have stayed on the same path. As it was, he still needed to be forced down that road, fighting against his new life.

He had no ability to shape another person’s life that way, yet. He may never have the kind of heart that would allow him to see another’s needs, and then help them to attain it, even against their struggles and their rebellious ignorance. Helping one person for his or her benefit still came hard for him, even though he would fight for states or nations at the drop of a hat.

It was not a problem.

Listening taught one things. Another’s words can spur one’s own thoughts. Kindness might not be his life’s blood, but he saw no reason to fight against it. If his actions were kind and thoughtful in another person’s eyes, he would not lose any sleep over it.

It was his way.

But, though he could not sense it, his ways were gradually changing. Perhaps a pebble at a time. Perhaps a handful. Some day, perhaps the sands of time would wear away some of his wall. Kaname had him thinking and acting in ways that were new, but did not register on him yet.

Something in Kim’s voice..... in her unspoken anguish..... set the bell of memory ringing.

He shook his head. His eyes kept sliding down to Kim’s rear quarters as she walked slowly, pulling buds off of the graceful trees lining the school yard, marveling at their secret structure. Why did he do that? Why was the upward and downward motion hypnotic? Why did his eyes wander back each time he admonished
them?

“I remember a story my mother told me many times. When my brother and I were in our bed clothes, warm under the covers. She would open the windows, and we could smell the night. We could hear the crickets and the dogs barking. I think they were some of the most wonderful sounds I have ever heard.” Kim rested her head against the trunk of a huge and stately oak.

Sousuke did not know what to do in that silence. He didn’t want his mind to wander too far. The sounds of gunfire echoed in his memory. The smell of blood and charred flesh assailed him. As much as he wanted to think of the good times with his family, the true memories of his childhood were better fit for a charnel house.

“A long time ago a woman was walking home from her work at a Nobleman's house. She carried on her head a basket of buckwheat puddings for her two children's dinner.

On her way home a tiger jumped out in front of her blocking her path. He demanded that she give him one of the puddings or he would eat her.

The woman complied and continued her long trek home.

The tiger was greedy. He kept stopping the woman over and over again until he had eaten all her puddings for her poor children.

The tiger decided he was still hungry and ate the unfortunate woman.”

Kim turned and looked at Sousuke. There were tears in her eyes.

“I always cried at that part. No matter how man times I heard that story. I always thought about something taking my mother away. She would hush me and tell me I was silly. But I guess I wasn’t.” She wiped her eyes, staring at the water droplet on one finger before she brushed it against the tree.

“Bad things happen, Miss Jun. They happen whether we worry or not. You did not cause the death of your parents by worrying. Just as I did not cause the death of mine by being too young to fight. I....” Sousuke stopped, and stared up at the crown of the tree.

“I wish I could remember the stories that my mother told me. I wish I could be sure of what her face looked like. For too many years, I spent much time worrying about the face of her killers. I became something she would have feared and hated. My anger, my self doubt, and my obsession blurred all of my other memories.” He pulled off some bark and began tearing it into small thin strips.

“I’m sorry. Please. Can you call me Kim? I think it would make me feel less alone.”

“Affirmative. Kim. Please continue.”

“The tiger then put on her clothes and went to eat her children. The children, a boy and girl, were clever and cautious. Their mother had taught them to be careful and leery of tigers.”

Kim stopped. She looked up at Sousuke. Her eyes were wide.

“It’s frightening, thinking that there are people among us that we know nothing about, but who might mean us no good or cause us great harm.” Kim took a half step towards Sousuke, then stopped. “There could be tigers everywhere. Where we walk. Where we shop. Where we go to school.”

She bit her tongue, hard. The taste of blood filled her mouth. She had come so close to telling Sousuke about the Whispered. Why? What power did Sousuke have over her tongue?

“Yes,” Sousuke replied. “There are.”

Kim’s mouth fell open. Could he know? Was Sousuke Whispered? Did he know of someone who was?

“It could be anyone, I suppose. There are many people who care only about themselves, and who will use others for their own gain, no matter the cost.” Sousuke pulled another piece of bark off of the tree. “The problem is, they know that we are uncertain, and they can use that against us. Sometimes the tiger is the one who approaches us---seemingly for our own good---and warns us to be on the look out for tigers. They are then the last person we suspect. We are then at their mercy.”

Kim bit on her finger. Subconsciously, she did not like where Sousuke’s insights were headed. At least he didn’t seem to be talking about the Whispered specifically.

“They may then take advantage of us, trying to pounce on us when our guard is down, once we let them within our homes.” Sousuke tore more thin strips.

He thought back to a number of mercenaries he had trusted when he had left the mujahadeen. They warned him about unscrupulous men. They said they would look out for him, so he stuck close by their side. They sold him into the slave trade, after taking away his weapons for servicing. A scar on his leg would always remind him of his escape from his chains.

“That’s why it’s hard to get close to people. Because we never know who might be out to get us.” Kim looked at Sousuke, wishing she knew how to judge him.

“I have felt the same way, myself. Until I found those who would fight for me and die for me. I am not good at forming friendships, but I have seen that taking a risk can be beneficial. It comes down to Fate, again. It is hard to be on guard, and to also let down one‘s defenses.” Sousuke tossed a number of the bark strips at the tree.

“Yes.” Kim smiled briefly, trying to catch the bark that Sousuke was throwing. She wove the pieces together into a ring, and handed it to Sousuke. “Should I trust you?”

“I do not know. I have no doubt about who I am. But, that does not mean that I could not do something that caused you unhappiness. That is not my wish, however.”

Sousuke looked down at the ring. What should he do with it?

“I see. Please. Could you put on the ring? For just a moment, I would like to think I have a friend.”

She stuck her fingernails into her thigh again. Jorgen was her friend. Her only true friend. The only one she could trust. He had taken care of her, when everyone else had simply looked to use her or made efforts to ignore her.

But, when she had given Jorgen a flower once, he had thrown it into the trash after she had left.

“It is not a problem.” Sousuke slid on the ring.

Kim didn’t know what she was feeling.

“There is an even greater danger,” Sousuke said, thinking back to his earlier train of thought. “We can sometimes be used as a pawn by the tigers. We can trick others into their reach. We can do their bidding for them, thinking we are doing what’s right. If we become obsessed with our task, we can become even worse than the tigers themselves.”

Kim bit on her finger. She was suddenly frantic. Run. She had to run. Fast. Far away. Now!

Her thoughts flew to Jorgen. Suspicions she had now and again, all came back at once. It was overwhelming. Her doubts threatened to drown her.

Jorgen did not deserve that! Not after all that he had done for her. Not after all that they had shared together. No! It wasn’t right. She realized that it was these types of doubts that she had wanted to banish, talking with Sousuke.

But, she had done just the opposite. Obsession. She wanted to learn about Sousuke’s obsession, hoping to see that it was nothing like the things she feared in herself. Didn’t she? But part of her kept trying to make itself heard. If she was obsessed.... If she was misguided.... Wouldn’t it be better to find out?

NO!

Her hole body tensed. What would Sousuke think of her? It didn’t matter. She had to run.

Sousuke turned the ring with his finger. It caught her attention. She froze.

“The hardest part though, is this. Sometimes the people who seem to care the most for us..... or the ones who seem to work the hardest to our benefit..... Really are the ones we can trust the most.” Sousuke thought of Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin and other men who had helped raise him back above the sucking sands of savagery, before his head ducked under for the last time.

Kim’s breath exploded over her. She grasped hold of that thought as if it were the only thing that could keep her afloat on a rough and stormy sea. Jorgen. He cared. She knew he did.

“I am sorry. I have disrupted your story. I belive you desire to talk was based on an intention to make yourself feel better. Please resume.”

Kim thought for a moment. Sousuke was either her greatest salvation, or her worst damnation. His thoughts seemed to resonate with hers, in a way entirely different than Whispered communication. He had seen some of what she had seen. By all accounts, from what he had shared with her on this walk, he had been through far worse.

But, he kept disrupting her carefully ordered thoughts and beliefs. She had spent years building walls, getting things in as perfect an order as she could. A single word from him might bring everything tumbling down.

She almost found herself wishing for that.

No. She must think about Jorgen. Jorgen was the buttress that held everything up. He was the glue that held everything together. She must be strong for him. She could not let her guard down to far. The purpose must be furthered.

Yet, might she be able to continue with renewed enthusiasm, if she could find the truths she needed?

“Discovering the tiger's trickery, the boy and girl escaped their house through the back door and climbed a tree to hide.

“The next morning the tiger finds the children in the tree. Unable to reach them, he tries to talk them into telling him how he can climb the tree.

“At first they tell him to use sesame oil on the tree. Of course this makes the tree slippery and he fails to reach them.

“Again he tries to talk them into telling him how to climb the tree. This second time they are not clever and tell him to use an ax to cut slits in the tree to use as footholds.”

“I just do not understand that at all,” Sousuke said.

“What?” Kim was slightly annoyed that she was interrupted.

“I suppose the tiger must be able to talk, for much of the story to take place. But why would he assume that the children would tell him how to climb a tree, if they know he is out to eat them. Does he assume they were stupid?”

Kim began to look cross.

“Was he using magic or mind control that you mistakenly forgot to mention? I have noticed that Kaname and other girls often forget to tell facts that are important, only to be angry when one shows himself to be ignorant. I hope that is not your intention.”

Kim growled deep in her throat. She did NOT like the mention of Kaname Chidori. But, she began to understand that girl’s behavior.

“And, how could the tiger survive as a predator if it was so foolish? He should know that oil would reduce friction. And if he had no hands, how could he carry pots of oil?”

“Sousuke....” Kim clenched her fists together.

“The children also were not wise. I do not wish to be offensive, but why do Korean legends make the people out to be stupid? That would seem to be self-defeating. Footholds WOULD prove effective, and could lead to their consumption. I....”

“SOUSUKE!!!” Kim’s shout frightened a flock of small birds out of the tree.

Kaname, hiding behind a bush, smiled.

Ryo, Maya, and Kyouko hid behind a further bush, whispering. Kyouko’s photographs ought to be capable of causing Kaname to feel foolish later on.

Score!!!

“My apologies. It was wrong of me to interrupts. That shout reminded me of Miss Chidori.”

Kaname smiled, seeing that Sousuke thought of her.

“You are also red in the face. Do you suffer a circulatory problem like she does? Perhaps if you ask, she might tell you which clinic she visits. One can never be to careful with their health.”

Kaname came very close to rushing out of the bushes. She didn’t have the halisen, but the bush had plenty of large branches. It would hardly miss one.

Kim just shook her head and went back to her narrative.

“As the tiger approaches them up the tree, the children cry out to the Heavenly King to save them.

“The Heavenly King extends down a chain from the sky to the children on the tree. The brother and sister climb the chain to heaven.

“The tiger seeing this cries out to the Heavenly King as well. The Heavenly King extends a weak and fraying rope from heaven down to the tiger. The tiger grabs it and begins to climb. The rope brakes and the tiger falls to his death.”

Sousuke caught Kim’s eye.

“I suppose the Heavenly King did not like tigers. Perhaps because they were stupid. But, if he did not wish for them to be cognitively deficient, why did he make them that way?” Seeing the look on Kim’s face, Sousuke shut up.

“May I continue?” Kim said, stomping her foot.

“Affirmative. I apologize. The interruption was my mistake. It had nothing to do with your droll presentation.”

“What?” Kim had an urge to stick her fingernails in someone else’s thighs.

“O, I see. I must apologize again. I am sorry. It was unwise for me to say that. Your feminine frailty may cause you to act in an unbalanced manner.”

“WHAT?!!” Sousuke was not up a tree. He would be easy prey.

Kaname rolled on the ground, holding her sides.

“It happens all the time with Miss Chidori. I have suggested that she visit a psychologist, but she insists that there is nothing wrong. That kind of insistence is probably the surest sign that she needs help.”

Kim didn’t know whether to smile or to scream.

Kaname jumped to her feet, tearing the corner of her blouse on a sharp and broken twig. Realizing what she had done, she threw herself down again, glad that the two of them had not been looking in her direction.

“I see. If you don’t want me to continue...” Kim tore a large piece of bark off of the tree. She began fashioning it into the semblance of a paper fan.

“Please. It is not a problem. Your voice is adequate. It does not detract from your pleasant appearance.” Sousuke froze. Why had he said that? And why did he immediately think of Kaname?

Kim blushed. She smiled a moment, before forcing it away. Jorgen had warned her about flatterers.

But, Sousuke seemed as shocked as she was. He was cute that way.

Cute?

No. That would not do. It was safer to continue on with the story.

Safe for Kim, perhaps. Kaname was already thinking up one thousand different agonies for a certain clueless sergeant.

“After resting a while in the Heavenly Kingdom, the brother and sister are
approached by the Heavenly King. He tells them that everyone in the Heavenly
Kingdom must do special tasks and that he has special jobs for them.

“He made the brother the Moon and the sister the Sun.

“It is said that when the Sun came out in the sky and people gazed upon her that
her modesty made her shine brighter and brighter to where no one could look upon
her directly.

“The Sun and Moon, brother and sister, remained happily in the sky forever.”

Kim brushed the bark off of her skirt. “Was that last part any better?”

“Yes.” Sousuke said. “Fewer incongruities. Less droll delivery. You receive high marks.”

Kim growled again.

“High marks? It wasn’t an assignment. I was trying to share something with you.” She stood up, ready to walk away.

She stopped herself. She realized that she was angry. Disappointed. Hurt.

What was she hoping for? Why was she feeling this way? Her emotions were always flat, always under the tightest control?

“I apologize again. It was not my intention to discomfort you. I merely wished to say that I found the story interesting. I would like to know why you told it.” Sousuke joined her standing.

“No. I should apologize. I shouldn’t be so sensitive. It’s not like me.” She looked at her watch. There wasn’t a lot of time left. “Let’s walk again. I’ll tell you as we go.”

“Affirmative.”

As the two of them strolled along, Kaname quickly burrowed into the bush to avoid being seen.

“What’s wrong, Sousuke?” Kim stopped when Sousuke did.

“Nothing. For a moment, I had the feeling that we were being watched. I thought I smelled something familiar.”

Kaname silently cursed. Why had she worn perfume today. She sighed with relief as Sousuke and Kim resumed their circumnavigation of the school yard. She then cursed when she realized what kind of vine had wrapped itself around large areas of the bush.

Poison Ivy.

“Damn you, Sousuke.” She spoke quietly to herself. “Sooner or later, you are going to pay, mister!!!”