[FIC] Christmas Cake (pt 6)
Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 1:41 pm
"I trust you had a good flight, Sergeant?" Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin held his arm out towards a chair, offering Sousuke the opportunity to sit.
"Yes, Sir." The answer was physically true.
He was still somewhat weary, but that was from his emotional ordeal.
"Please, be seated."
Sousuke sat down.
"There are a number of matters to discuss, the most significant of which is the upcoming mission. I would like to start off by saying that we did not remove you on a whim. There were no ulterior motives in mind." The older gentleman’s eyes were steely and intense.
"Sir, I would not expect such. I understand where Mithril’s priorities lay. And, I trust you implicitly." Sousuke was being honest. He broke eye contact briefly before making his next statement. " I believe I also know why you may be stating that up front.
"Good. What I say next is for your ears only. It is no doubt something that you have considered yourself." Kalinin rubbed his beard, determined to make his point despite the fact that some amongst his superiors might take it as a betrayal or tipping of possible future hands..
"There are those in the organization that think that the benefit of guarding one Whispered girl is not worth the cost of a uniquely qualified soldier. I say this for one particular reason, Sergeant."
Kalinin sat back and folded his hands. He wanted Sousuke’s assessment.
"As long as I willingly go where I am assigned.... without making waves.... those people will have no reason to act. The Lambda Driver is crucial for Arbalest. Arbalest is crucial for missions against similar technology. I am crucial for Arbalest and the Lambda Driver."
"Correct. I would hasten to add that you do not wish to say or do anything that might call your dedication into question. It would be wise not to do anything that might hinder your interface with the Black Technology. Emotional stability and control will be prerequisites."
"Yes, Sir. It is in my better interest to merely be a soldier. It is not enough to be discrete." Sousuke swallowed. His jaw clenched. His commanding officer did not miss those actions.
The younger man’s thoughts went immediate to Kaname. His mind was in the mood to be perverse. He thought about the kiss again.
Was his life taking its old path. Did he finally discover something meaningful, only to have fate rush in and carry it away?
Kalinin rested his chin on his hands, staring at the younger soldier. He knew more about Sousuke than anyone else alive. He himself had been through difficult or conflicting domestic situations as an inexperienced soldier and as a grizzled savvy fighter.
He thought back the time when his wife was still alive…. when his children were still young. It had been too long since he had a chance to see his son and daughter.
"No. It is not that simple, Sergeant. If only for the fact that you are not merely a soldier, no matter what you may think at times. In addition, those of us who tend to be more visionary recognize the fact that you have not reached your full potential as a warrior. There are particular areas you are deficient in. They have to do with your social skills and emotional awareness."
"I have begun to realize that, Sir."
Sousuke wondered what good emotion awareness was to a fighter. Would it help him pilot the ARX-7? Improve his aim or bolster his nerve? Make him unstoppable at hand to hand combat?
"But your wondering how any of that will prove useful?" The Lt. Cmdr. Had correctly predicted his younger companions thoughts.
"Affirmative."
"When there is time, I will give you a book I once found useful. Suffice it to say, we all have emotions, unless we are dead. We may not be aware of them. Repression and suppression are powerful forces, and are neither our friends nor our enemies. It does us no good to be slaves to out feelings, or to ignore them altogether.. Your feelings are not new, Sergeant. But, they may seem that way to you now that you allow yourself to take notice of them."
"I see. That would explain what I have experienced. The effect was overwhelming at first, but I believe I have things under control."
That was what Sousuke’s intellect thought. His intuition and emotions had a different opinion.
"Very good. I will be blunt. Generally, it is poor policy to permit an operative to develop feelings for the one he is assigned to protect. A number of tragedies have occurred in the past, in this organization and in armed forces and intelligence agencies across the globe."
"I understand, Sir." Sousuke couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice. His eyes gave clear indication of how he was feeling.
Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin raised one eyebrow. It was as close as he would come to smiling. It was good to see a hint of positive emotions in his young subordinate. The young man had been through so much... it wasn’t right for Mithril to expect him to give up things that everyone else took for granted. The same thing could be said for their Captain, despite what Cmdr. Mardukas might think.
"In this case, however, I can see some benefits that outweigh the concerns." He watched Souske’s face closely. The look in Sousuke’s eyes indicated that he was aware of the scrutiny.
"Sir?" Sousuke sat up straighter. He gripped the arms of his chair.
He would not have to contemplate losing Kaname? A relationship was permitted, if not officially encouraged?
"We don’t have time to discuss that issue now, Sergeant. I just wanted to broach the subject so that I can probe a bit further. You will understand why, later." Kalinin tapped his hand against a number of folders. Mission reports and preliminary plans.
Sousuke nodded his head.
"Unless I miss my guess, you wore those clothes tonight for Miss Chidori’s benefit?" The Lt. Cmdr. Spoke very casually.
"Yes, Sir."
"And you two spent time together, such that you either had no time to change, or your thoughts were preoccupied."
"Correct, Sir." Sousuke felt as if his one time foe could read his mind.
"Was this because you had plans for tomorrow night… which this mission so ruthlessly torpedoed?"
"Yes."
Sousuke tried not to feel crestfallen. He failed. The idea of time alone with Kaname in an intimate setting had at first confused him. Later, it began to frighten him. Finally, he had begun to feel curious. When he knew he would not be able to accompany her, he wished more than anything else that he could.
"I had surmised as much from your radio conversation. And, it would appear that the rumors were true." Lt. Kalinin’s eyes narrowed. "You realize that such unguarded speech does you no good?"
"Affirmative!" Sousuke spoke in a great rush. His face reddened.
Lt. Cmdr, Kalinin actually grinned. "Yes, in that manner too. I think you understand my major point, however."
"I do, Sir. I did not rush into thing without following protocol. I was discrete in my search for advice. The person I confided in kept my confidence. Neither of us had reason to suspect a serious breech in security."
"Wiretap?"
Sousuke blinked repeatedly. It was as good as saying "Yes!"
"I will not probe further, now. Someone will no doubt find his or herself on the wrong end of my boot, when the time is right. They will understand that they may be on the unfavorable end of a firing squad if they pull such a stunt again. You need not mention Sgt. Weber’s name at this time."
Sousuke blinked again. Kalinin nodded his head.
"It is unfortunate that our positions do not allow for us to speak as comrades or old friends, Sergeant. That is how I would prefer to address the following questions. I trust you will not believe that I am prying into your personal affairs for no reason."
"No, Sir!"
"Commendable. Are you and Miss Chidori romantically involved?" It was plain that Kalinin expected the answer to be ‘Yes.’ What he was after was the details.
"Uh...." Sousuke began to sweat. His hand twitched.
Kalinin narrowed his eyes.
"I believe so, Sir. I wouldn’t have thought so before... uh... we..."
The Lt. Cmdr. Began drumming his fingers on the desk top.
"…Kissed."
"I see." For a moment, Kalinin was almost incredulous, thinking that the young man was getting all tied up in knots by a simple kiss. Then, he put things in perspective. For Sousuke, that kind of kiss would be far from simple. There was no telling what he might be feeling or thinking, given the prior life he was forced to live.
There was dead silence.
The Lt. Cmdr. brushed off his sleeve, asking his next question in an off the cuff manner. Sousuke’s response would be instructive.
"Did that lead to sexual intercourse?"
Sousuke sat stunned. He looked like a rabbit ready to run. His eyes also looked calculating for a moment.
"N-No, Sir!"
Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin was often thought to be a dour man. He was not. He was professional through and through. He was reserved. It was difficult for him to keep from laughing.
"I see. No need to rush things. It will give you something to look forward to. You and her."
"Uh...."
"Trust me, Sergeant."
"Yes, Sir!"
"That is my unofficial response, Sergeant. You have given me the information I needed. That being so, let me give you some advice. You have duties to Mithril that must always come first. Always. You have a debt to the organization that you will continue to repay through the excellent and selfless service you provide. But, you also have a dept to yourself. And, if you truly have feelings for the young lady, you have a responsibility to her as well."
"Sir?"
"Pay attention, Sergeant. You may take this as an order if you like, or the advice of someone who is looking out for your best interests. Do not get caught up with being a soldier, when your mission priorities are not in conflict with your personal ones. Your life is one of uncertainty. There is no telling when the end might come, or when you might be reassigned permanently." Kalinin understood the life of a soldier all too well.
"I understand, Sir."
"Opportunities may be fleeting. You need to understand that in your heart as well as your head. Do not rush ahead precipitously. Your tendency to do that in other matters has brought the Finance Department close to burning you in effigy."
"Yes, Sir!"
"The Legal Department wanted to burn you at the stake………. in person."
"Understood, Sir!"
"Above all else, don’t feel that you are duty or honor bound to deny yourself the things you are ultimately fighting for. Life. Freedom. Intimacy. Love. Too many people want their soldiers to fight, nothing more---it disturbs some people to realize that we have feelings too. For others, it erodes their confidence. We soldiers do not have to feel the same way."
Sousuke nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. He felt relieved. It felt as if an unknown burden had been lifted from him.
He wished he could tell Kaname what he heard right that moment.
"I think I have an understanding of what Miss Chidori means to you, Sgt. Sagara." Kalinin pushed a number of folders towards the younger man.
"I am happy for you as a person. But, I must ask you now to put those feelings aside as a soldier. For this mission, that may be especially difficult. But, it is crucial for our success. I cannot emphasize that too much. And, as I said before, your actions will be scrutinized."
Skimming the final paragraph in an Intel assessment, Sousuke went cold. The threats were of an enormous scale. But, he did not regret being called in on this mission. He would not have been able to protect Kaname by staying in Tokyo. If things went wrong, there might no longer be a Tokyo.
"I will give you a capsular summary. Sgt. Major Mao will go into operational details with you later. Before, however, you will meet with the Captain in the medical area. I will go so far to say that I do not agree with her decision, but will defer to her greater scientific knowledge. I hope that you will not suspect that her actions are driven by personal feelings or disappointment." The look Kalinin gave Sousuke was rather pointed.
"No, Sir! Of course not, Sir!" First Melissa. Now Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin. What had them so concerned? Sousuke needed to put those worries out of his mind.
"Good. If you had such suspicions, I would direct you to speak with Cmdr. Mardukas." The Lt. Cmdr. was not above making jokes. It did not appear that his young associate found any humor in the statement.
"There is no need, Sir!" Sousuke’s eyes bulged.
"I thought as much." Kalinin coughed. It was time to get to the business at hand.
"As you can tell from the documents in your hand, our target is in the republic of North Korea. The provincial government there has long threatened to use nuclear weapons if they are attacked, but most people understand that to be saber rattling. Unfortunately, that government has been circumvented. A group of rogue military officials has aligned itself with the terrorist group known as Grendel. Together, they are intent on selling fissionable materials and nuclear technology to anyone with a large enough bank account."
Sosusuke had heard about Grendel in the past. He always thought it would be a matter of time before they and Mithril crossed paths. A sometimes rival of Amalgam, Grendel was one of the big boys. They were felt to have had an equal interest in the Whispered. That likely meant access to Black Technology.
"At least, that is what the North Koreans think." Kalinin handed Sousuke another summary report. "We suspect Grendel has different plans."
"Sir, what about the United States? Are they aware of the full situation? It would be unusual for them to stand by and do nothing."
Sousuke had no illusions about that nation. It could be viewed as the equivalent of a general surgeon. The intentions were good, and the skill was commendable. But, mistakes were sometimes made. When they were the consequences could be serious. Mithril played the role of a medical specialist. The skill level was higher, if much more focused. Mistakes could be disastrous.
"Yes, there are those who know all that we do. Most military personnel and politicians---in the United States and other nations--- are aware only of the general situation, without knowing the specific threats behind it. Our contacts in America inform us that the United States military is planning to act before any materials exchange hands."
"Yes. That would be their tendency."
"Our contacts would like us to disarm the situation before the politicians make their inevitable mistakes."
"They are concerned that materials will slip by their soldiers?"
"Yes. But that is the least of their worries. The conspirators have full use of a number of critical military bases, including the missile launch facilities at Tae Po Dong. They have under control, a number of completed No-Dong missiles and a handful of Taep’o-dong 2 ICBMs."
Sousuke moved around uncomfortably in his chair. He remembered Kurz’ joke about the No Dong missile. Unlike his friend, Sousuke did not take the weapon lightly. With a 1350-1500 km range and a 750-1000 kg payload capacity, the relatively unsophisticated missile still represented a threat. Not having much better accuracy or reliability than the SCUD-C which it closely resembled, the No-Dong could still make an effective terror weapon if the North Koreans had managed to fit them with biological or ‘dirty’ nuclear warheads.
The Taep’o-dong 2 was a more serious matter. The second stage was a further evolution of the No-Dong, capable of carrying nuclear warheads. The first stage was a derivative of the more reliable Peoples Republic of China’s DF-3 or CSS-2 booster. With a 6000 km range. that weapon would place a fair portion of the globe at risk. A three stage version could reach areas of the continental United States.
"Sir, do our Intelligence sources suspect that the missiles will be used for more than nuclear blackmail?"
Sousuke wasn’t certain he wanted to hear the answer. He thought he knew what Lt. Cmd. Kalinin had been speaking about earlier. The one report summary suggested a frightening possibility.
"Yes. I’m afraid so. I doubt that the North Korean participants would be so daring, or so despicable. In fact, it would be against their better interests. Grendel is another matter. They have run afoul of the United States on occasion, and may well wish to rid themselves of that hindrance. Certain scenarios seem both likely and devastating."
Kalinin made a small flourish with his hand, inviting Sousuke to speculate.
"A move by the U.S. military would prompt retaliation. Not at the American homeland, but at regional allies. The political fallout would be as damaging as the radioactive fallout. American troops and bases in the Pacific could be targeted as well. The resulting chaos would serve Grendel well."
"Exactly. A fine analysis, Sergeant, closely paralleling a number of computer models. Take things a step further. What do you suspect the primary targets would be?"
"South Korea. Most likely Seoul. Japan. Most likely Tokyo."
"Correct. The North Koreans would be pleased with those targets, even though they would not expect that Grendel would wrest control from them and launch the weapons. They no doubt would fuel the missiles, to try and force their demands to be met. It takes eight hours to complete the process, and there is no way to hide that activity from spy satellites. Such an act would be an invitation to intervention if it failed to be an effective political deterrent."
"Sir, why wouldn’t the U.S. employ a cruise missile strike or B-2 bombers? Especially if they have no knowledge that Black technology may be at use."
"They would want proof to show the world community, especially after their actions in Iraq. Another such military action could do irreparable harm to international relations. They would use Arm Slaves and Special Forces. Directed energy weapons might be used on the launch vehicles if they have any such devices in the Pacific theater. At last report, no such aircraft were in that part of the world."
"The attack would succeed against North Korean forces, but not against Grendel."
Sousuke was certain of that. Black Technology was to conventional modern weapons as firearms were to horse and lance. Overwhelming numbers could not be brought to bear. That meant that equal technology was needed.
"Correct. Not only are they suspecting such an action, they are counting on it. By report, they have at least one advanced A.S. on Korean soil with Lambda Driver capabilities. Our informants suggest that they may have as many as three. You remember what Venom did to the American Arm Slaves on Berildaobu Island."
Sousuke nodded his head. He tried not to dwell on the picture he saw in his head, that of Melissa laying wounded, after he failed to get the Lambda Driver in Arbalest to work. He could not afford to doubt himself or the weapons at his disposal.
An image of Kaname took Melissa’s face. For one moment she stood standing by a window. The next instant, there was a flash of light and she was gone.
He became aware that he had been silent too long. He rushed to continue.
"That explains the need for Mihtril. It also explains my importance. I see why you wished to know my feelings for Miss Chidori." Sousuke’s voice was calm and collected. He held his shoulders up and his chin straight.
Kalinin merely nodded, watching the younger man closely.
"It would be a tremendous responsibility for anyone, Sergeant. Countless lives at stake. The entire political and financial structure of the world is hanging in the balance. It becomes all the more difficult for one who is defending his homeland… his friends and classmates… and his significant other. Your discoveries have come at a difficult time."
"Yes. That is true."
"It is paramount that you do not let your emotions distract you, Sergeant. This must be handled like any other mission. Not only must you guard against despair or undue fear of the consequences, you must also be wary of impulses that might seem right and good. It could prove foolhardy to rush in overzealous, determined to protect the ones you care for."
"I understand. I will not be distracted. I am a Specialist!"
"There is nothing more I have time to discuss. Sgt. Major Mao will explain things in more detail. You should not expect to carry the full weight on yours shoulder, Sergeant."
"Sir, I…"
Kalinin held up a hand, halting any assurance Sousuke might offer.
"Although easier said than done, your sole task will be to delay or destroy the opposing Arm Slaves with Black Technology. Do that, and there stands a very good chance that the missiles will be destroyed before they can be launched. Other soldiers will have the job of gathering proof of nuclear weapons, looking for evidence of Grendel’s involvement, and disabling the missiles."
"I understand, Sir. The most crucial task of all will be making it to our expected deployment site undetected and getting our equipment on the ground before the missiles could be launched. I take it there are reasons we will not strike before the ICBMs begin fueling?"
There were still particulars that troubled Sousuke. Likely it was because he didn’t know all of the details.
"Yes. Mithril’s very existence requires the walking of a political tightrope. Those who know of our existence would erase all ties if we attacked unprovoked, even though they have the same fears we do. Partial fueling of the missiles might be considered as part of a ploy. Complete fueling could be construed as a definite intent to launch. It’s a dangerous game of brinksmanship, with so very much at stake."
"Can the weapons be launched incompletely fueled?" Sousuke’s question was a good one.
"There are those who doubt they can, given the reliability issues they have faced on short range test firings. But, no one is certain. As things stand, we time our launch so that our forces such that they arrive when the the missiles seven and one half hours into fueling. That means we can afford no delays… no matter what."
"There is a potential problem?" The tone of his superior’s voice suggested as much.
"Yes. Bad storms are moving in. If we are lucky, they will delay fueling and hold off the Americans until we are able to do what is necessary. If not, we may be fighting under exceedingly rough conditions."
Better and better.
"If that is all Sir, I should be headed to the medical area. Your words were well chosen. I thank you."
"Think nothing of it, Sergeant. We all have our jobs to do. You see that you do yours to the utmost!"
"Sir, yes Sir!" Sousuke snapped off a crisp salute. "I will not betray your faith in me."
‘And I will not fail Kaname,’ he added in his thoughts.
It was time to find out what had Sgt. Major Mao and Lt. Commander Kalinin on edge.
***************
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Sousuke cursed. Not for the first time. Enough was enough.
In the past, coming back aboard the TDD-1 was almost like going back to the womb. After missions, it was a place of calm and security, wrapped in the comforting blanket of the sea. When he returned to the submarine after spending time at Jindai High School, he had felt the tensions of teenage life drain out of him, replaced with a sense of certainty and belonging.
Not this morning. Not this long sleepless morning.
After he had stepped off of the helicopter, he almost felt like an outsider, a visitor. Part of his mind tried to tell him that home was where Kaname was. That made little sense. He had felt better in Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin’s office, even though the topics of conversation were emotionally trying. The older man was somewhat of a father figure to him. For some reason, his cabin felt small, confining. Its sparse décor made him feel isolated and sensory deprived.
The only real moment of release came when he changed back into his Mithril uniform. The feel against his skin was not as smooth as his street clothes, but the familiarity made up for that. Looking down at his civvies, he found it hard to believe he had worn them. Taking them off was almost like throwing away a different life he had begun discovering. Would that life be waiting for him to put back on when he could go back?
Stopping in the mess area, he downed a cup of coffee, much too quickly. It burned his throat. But, he had needed something to drink and his eyelids were heavy. He downed a second one because he could. A small number of crewmen were sitting and eating an early shift breakfast. They all saluted him silently with their aluminum cups, smiling. Why?
He found out why when he walked back into the hangar area. The tarps were off, despite the singular efforts of a shouting Kurz Weber. The long-haired Sergeant frantically tried to put the tarps back on, but was outnumbered by the people gleefully throwing them down to the hangar floor. Failing at that approach, he tried to rip down one of a whole slew of giant banners. Hanging on with all his weight, he managed to dislodge one, but lost his footing. The material tore, and he swung out into space screaming.
Sousuke’s attention was drawn to the action, so he didn’t take notice of the posters and banners yet. Melissa was not far from Kurz. She likely had been stalking after him, ready to administer some form of chastisement. Some of the men and women busy preparing the room stopped to whistle, applaud, or call out encouragement for the Sergeant Major.
"Babe, help me down. I’m dangling here!" Kurz’ voice was high-pitched. Kicking his legs, he tried to bring himself over one of the walkways. He didn’t want to fall on one of the AV8X aircraft below. A twenty foot fall would be bad enough. The pilots were very touchy.
"Not as much as you’re gonna be!" Melissa reached down by her leg. Even Sousuke’s keen eyes couldn’t make out the detail at that distance, but they didn’t need to. He surmised what was in her hand. Her combat knife.
"I was doing my best to get everything down!" Kurz swung close to his desired point of release. One more swing out to bring him there.
"Me too, asshole!" Melissa slashed with her knife. The banner was cut free. Kurz plummeted to the ground.
Suddenly, Sousuke was stunned. Not by his comrade’s fall. Not by the scream of rage coming from a pilot throwing aside his coffee cup and making a bee-line for the injured Arm Slave pilot. Not by the obscene shout of triumph coming from Melissa Mao.
He had looked upward, seeing the forest for the trees. The banners were in his honor, so to speak. His, and Kaname’s. At first he went numb. Then he felt embarrassed. Soon after that, he began to get angry. He felt a need to defend Kaname. Especially since there was a chance there would no longer be a Kaname.
The huge block lettering on the largest banner read ‘GO FOR IT!!!’
The letters and words on the other banners swirled and swam before his eyes. He had to grit his teeth and put forth considerable effort to bring them into focus. He never read all of them. He read more than enough.
‘Looking for a new mattress, try CHIDORI brand.’
‘Torpedo away!!!’
‘Don’t stop until she screams your name instead of mine!’
‘DIVE… DIVE… DIVE…’
Sousuke realized that his shipmates were only showing their affection for him. In a sense, that was reassuring. But, at that moment, he felt violated. Nonetheless, he did as the Lt. Cmdr. Had suggested. He fought hard to bring his emotions under control. That became an especially task when he saw the sign hanging from the ARX-7.
‘THE LOVE MACHINE’
Shaking his head, Sousuke marched onward. He had no time or desire to deal with Kurz right now. It was time to report to the medical area. Sousuke told himself that with great panache, a soldier obeying his orders. But, his mind would have nothing of it. As he passed each successive doorway, he felt his throat grow tighter and tighter. His heartbeat went up. His breathing quickened. He began to sweat.
If he kept this up, he would look as if he were sick when he got there!
A thought kept reasserting itself: was he ill? Did the blood work and testing he had done during his routine evaluation turn up some serious problem? If Captain Testarossa was involved, did it mean that his role on the TDD-1 might be in jeopardy. Would this be his last mission? ‘Thanks for saving the world soldier, you’re dismissed. No, you’re discharged!’
"Emotions under control. I must keep my emotions under control. Do not count the casualties until the battle has been fought." Sousuke repeated that to himself, growing more relaxed as he walked. He repeated one more time before walking through the marked door.
The sight he saw made him begin again.
Captain Testarossa was there. Here first look was one of surprise. That was followed by a somewhat sheepish expression, and then by furrowed brows and a tight frown. She stopped tugging at her pony tail.
Cmdr. Mardukas was there, hovering at the Captain’s side, his eyes dark and piercing. The look he gave Sousuke was sharp and jagged like the edge of a broken bottle. Sousuke straightened up walked stiffer.
There was no sign of the ship’s doctor. Instead, there were three strangers, a woman and two men dressed in long white lab coats. The woman was working on a digital projector. One of the men was pulling down a view screen. The third individual was taking vials of liquid out of a large leather medical bag.
There were restraints on the examination table.
A number of MPs were standing by the doorway.
What was going on?
"Sgt. Sagara, you are finally here." Tessa’s voice was somewhat shrill, but not overly so. "I’m glad you could spare us your attention." Those last words carried a bit of an edge. Sousuke thought he might no why.
"Sgt. Sousuke Sagara, reporting for duty as instructed, mam!"
"Yes… yes…. I know who you are, Sergeant." Tessa stared at him a moment, then began fiddling with her pony tail again, turning it around in her hand. "And you know the Commander of course."
Sousuke began to sweat again, looking over at Mardukas. The man’s face seemed like it had been carved from flint.
"I have a number of introductions to make. First, may I introduce you to Dr. Sophia Cannon-Bard, Neuro-psychiatrist." Tessa nodded to the attractive middle-aged woman with shoulder length black hair.
Finishing up with the projector, the woman walked over to Sousuke.
"So, this is the young man who merited such marvelous banners." Sophia smiled, an evil glint in her eye. "Rest easy, young man. An explanation will be forthcoming. You are in good hands."
Sousuke swallowed hard.
Tessa looked dyspeptic.
"I’m Dr. Charles Schacher," a burly older man said squeezed Sousuke’s hand in a vice-like grip. "I’m a Biomedical Specialist. Ex-SEAL. I’ll protect you from Dr. Cannon-Bard." He gave Sousuke a pat on the back then stepped aside. He laughed at the expression the woman gave him.
Sousuke felt more comfortable around a Special Forces veteran. That was the type of Specialist he was more familiar with.
"Hello, I’m Tony Damasio, Medical Technologist. I will be monitoring the equipment and running stat blood work as necessary. I admire your courage. This will be a groundbreaking event." A short man with a close-cropped beard and mustache gave Sousuke a hand shake. His palm was slightly moist. His eyes went briefly to Sousuke’s face before darting around the room again.
Equipment? Groundbreaking? Blood work?
"We don’t have a lot of time, so I suppose I should get to the bottom line." Tessa smoothed out her uniform and looked up at Sousuke’s face. "Some of us here are disappointed in you, Sgt. Sagara."
Sousuke’s jaw tightened. There was a double meaning to Tessa’s words, he was certain of that. Looking over at Cmdr. Mardukas, he saw the man’s face change ever so slightly. There was a subtle smile on his lips.
"Captain?"
"Arbalest, Sousuke…." Tessa blushed, after calling him by name. "The Lambda Driver in particular. On that island, you couldn’t interface at all. If the enemy hadn’t allowed himself to be captured, you and your team mates no doubt would have been destroyed." She stopped, letting that point sink in. Her hand trembled slightly as she remembered her ordeal at the hands of Gauron.
"That failure could have been catastrophic," Cmdr. Mardukas put in. "You can imagine what might happen on this mission if there is another such failure."
The word ‘failure’ cut Sousuke like a knife. It sounded as if he were somehow deficient or defiant. The injustice of that implication had him scowling. He had not asked to bond with that A.I. And, if he was so useless, why hadn’t Mithril found someone else capable of being a necessary catalyst?
"We don’t blame you personally, Sergeant." Tessa’s face softened. She correctly guessed how Sousuke must be feeling.
"There is a lot at risk here. This project has been going on for a while, ever since you used Arbalest. There were those in high command who insisted we make use of the results, even though there have been no validation studies." Tessa sounded like she was of two minds.
"That can hardly be helped, Captain." Sophia said suavely. "As I told you before, there are no subjects to experiment on. Animal models won’t work, and the young man there is the only soldier in Mithril who has worked with the device."
Sousuke began to feel very uneasy. It sounded as if he were going to be used as some form of guinea pig. That would be bad enough at any time. But to undergo some unproven treatment before the mission, with so much at stake? What might happen? He didn’t want Kaname’s safety hinging on the results of some wild scheme.
"There are rumors that a number of the terrorist groups with Venom class Arm Slaves and machines of similar ilk are having a difficult time finding pilots. It seems that your late adversary was a rare man, someone whose complex emotional state allowed him to operate the Lambda Driver effortlessly." Dr. Schacher’s voice was strong and unapologetic.
"It could be that the enemy pilots you face will have the same issues you have, Sergeant." Dr. Cannon Bard picked up a laser pointer and walked over towards the projector.
"But, if you match up against more than one adversary---even if they each face random failures---there is a good chance that at least one of them will remain operational at all times. That is why we were all unceremoniously pulled from our homes and our jobs. That is why we are here."
"It’s not simply about you, Sousuke." Tessa’s eyes suddenly looked frightened. Tears gathered there, threatening to spill over. "It’s about everyone who is in danger. We need to take this risk. If you were to fail again, innocent people might pay the price."
She was clearly torn. She valiantly tried to remain brave and calm looking, but the slump in her shoulders and the rasp on her hair spoke of great inner turmoil.
Looking at Sousuke, Tessa bit her lip.
"Or, we would be forced to resort to methods that will have immense repercussions." Cmdr. Mardukas stepped close to Sousuke.
He continued in a quiet voice, close to a whisper. "We will launch cruise missiles at the appropriate time. If there is opportunity, we will bring down fire and brimstone upon the launch site. That will take out friend and foe alike. Do you understand what I am saying? If the mission fails entirely, nations will be cruelly struck. If you fail but we succeed, the blood of your comrade’s would be on your hands."
Sousuke bowed his head..
"One fact still remains, Sergeant." Dr. Schacher walked over and tapped on Sousuke’s chest.
"Mithril can order you to undergo the procedure, but you would still have a right to decline, putting your job at risk. However, those of us from the outside are consultants. We have been hired to do a job, but they cannot force us to administer the treatment. We won’t do that unless you volunteer." The man’s voice was neutral. Sousuke was grateful that he hadn’t tried to shame him into anything.
Sousuke thought about Kaname. He remembered the kiss they shared. He could smell her hair and feel the weight of her head on his shoulder. He really didn’t have a choice.
"Before you say anything, Sergeant, I have a presentation to present. It will serve as out equivalent of an informed consent form. You need to know what is going on before you can answer." Dr. Cannon-Bard turned on the projector. An image of a human brain filled the screen, different areas labeled and marked in different colors.
"I apologize if this is somewhat dry and clinical. You should see the professional version!" Sophia smiled. Dr. Schacher nodded his head.
"Some of what I have to say will be poetic license, a way to explain extremely difficult concepts. Nonetheless, the major points will be as factual as we know how to make them. Our understanding of human consciousness is limited, but there have been major advances. Could I have the lights down, please?"
The lights in the room dimmed. Sophia’s voice was nearly hypnotic. She had everyone’s attention.
"If you asked any person on the street how many brains he has, he’d likely tell you ‘one.’ That would hold true for women, but wishful thinking for men!" Sophia chuckled, then stopped abruptly. "Sorry. That’s my stock opening for this talk."
"In a sense, humans have three brains, two wrapped inside one. Can you remember a time when you REALLY wanted to do something, but KNEW you shouldn’t?"
Sousuke blushed, remembering a thought he had while kissing Kaname.
Tessa, pulled at her hair, looking at Sousuke.
Mardukas clenched his fist, looking at the same person Tessa was.
"The most illogical or irrational wants derive from the evolutionarily older parts of our brain, while the understanding of smart or dumb choices comes from the newer part."
"So, you are going to give him a newer part?" Cmdr. Mardukas asked sarcastically.
Tessa wondered if there was a way to change someone else’s choices.
Sophia continued without missing a beat. "Take another example. You can be hungry, but you don’t know that until you actually pay attention to that feeling. When you do take notice, you might realize you’ve been hungry for some time. Hunger comes from the most basic parts of our brain, but our actual awareness is controlled by the newer part."
Sousuke’s stomach growled. Now he realized he was hungry. Great.
"Brain number one, the ‘R complex,’ is centrally located. The ‘R’ stands for reptilian. The structure is somewhat similar to that seen in snakes and lizards." Sophia put a different image on. One side showed a highlighted area of the brain. The other showed a Fringed Lizard, its frill puffed to the fullest.
"Kaname…." Tessa whispered. Sousuke heard that and frowned.
"Brain number two, the ‘limbic system’ or ‘old mammalian brain,’ can be seen wrapping around the R complex. The closest equivalent would be the brains in dogs and cats." The image changed again. Another diagram of the human brain, next to a picture of a cat hissing at a dog.
Sousuke saw an image of Kaname and Tessa arguing. She shook his head to chase that thought away. This was serious business.
"Brain three, the ‘neocortex,’ is on the outside surface, wrapped around brain two. This is the crowning evolutionary development for primates, especially man. The neocortex allows things like complex social interactions, advance planning, and so forth. At least in women."
Tessa smiled.
"The limbic system is responsible for feelings. The R complex can be thought of as the ‘housekeeping brain,’ responsible for basics such as hunger, temperature control, fight-or-flight fear responses, unconscious urges to defend our territory or keep ourselves safe…. things like that. Are you with me so far, Sergeant?"
"I am." Sousuke wished that his limbic system would settle down some.
"In a good mood? Bad mood?" Sophia smiled.
"Both, mam."
Tessa giggled. Mardukas sneered.
"I see. Completely understandable. Well, your mood is probably influenced by several parts of your brain. The limbic system is probably the biggest culprit. The cingulated gyrus is one of the most crucial mood centers. It is actually cortex like the outer layers, but is buried deeper. The amygdala is essentially the fear center. The hippocampus plays a role in memory, which will in turn have a major effect on mood as well. The so called ‘master gland,’ the hypothalamus, plays a big role too." Dr. Cannon-Bard used the pointer to highlight various areas of the brain as she spoke. She added small bits of information as she went.
The talk touched briefly on the subject of memory, with Sophia mentioning that emotion and memory are very closely related.
"Do you like to go to parties, Sergeant?" The way the doctor said it, the words almost sounded like an invitation. Tessa frowned.
"Mam?"
"Say you went to one, Sergeant. And say you were to meet a number of different people. Whose faces would you remember? The woman who made you laugh. Or the man who made you feel embarrassed. The ones who have an emotional impact. That’s because the limbic system is in charge of transferring information into memory."
Sousuke opened and closed his mouth. He wondered if that was one of the reasons he had fewer memories about people or places than most other people seemed to have. Did his previous moratorium on emotions somehow put a damper on the things he remembered?
The doctors voice droned on. Sousuke lost track of some of her words, daydreaming about Kaname. That was more pleasurable than focusing on the hippocampus and where it was located… how it worked… and its vulnerability to stress. He stored away the fact that it was crucial for the formation of new memories, but would remember little else.
Kaname’s lips on the other hand…her softness… her contour….
"Still with us, young man?" Dr. Schacher’s voice brought Sousuke back to attention, in both senses of the word..
"Uh…I…yes!"
Tessa smiled. Mardukas growled. Dr. Cannon-Bard tapped her foot.
"Would it make it easier for you to pay attention if I added explosions, soldier?" Sophia wasn’t smiling.
"Yes, mam. I mean, it isn’t necessary, mam!"
"How about if we added a pretty girl?" Dr, Schacher laughed, seeing the look on Sousuke’s face. He suddenly went stiff, catching a glimpse of Tessa.
"In battle, one emotion that is of particular importance is fear." Sophia stared at Sousuke, daring him to nod off.
"Fear carries with it various things: worried thoughts… physical sensations such as a faster heart rate, sweating, increased breathing…. and behaviors, like attempting to escape the situation that makes one afraid in the first place. One may be afraid of dying or being injured. One may be worried about his or her comrades. One may have concerns about failure or the inability to complete his mission properly."
Sousuke felt as if they were all staring at him then. No, it almost felt as if the entire world was looking. Catching sight of Cmdr. Mardukas, he began to sweat… his heart raced… and his breathing grew quick and shallow.
"There is a complicated series of events in the nervous system that leads to physical sensations and the behaviors of fear."
Again, Dr. Cannon-Bard’s voice became a drone. Sousuke wondered what he and Kaname might have said or done, had they been able to go to Belles Des Belles. Would he have had sufficient words to say? Could he have done what Kaname might have expected? An alarm went off in his head…he was supposed to be paying attention.
"Medications…. particularly those that influence the serotin system…. are hypothesized to desensitize the fear network from the level of the amygdala through its projections to the hypothalamus and brainstem. Some of out current regimen will include such agents. Keeping up, Sergeant?"
"Amygdala, mam. Hypoyhalamus and brainstem!" Sousuke hoped she didn’t want anything more than that.
"Good!" Sophia smiled and put up the next image.
"You’re a better man than me," Dr. Schacher whispered, stifling a yawn.
He and Sousuke both forced themselves to listen while the woman discussed the basal ganglia and their relationship to obsessions. The ex-SEAL had heard the lecture before, in various forms. Sousuke was tired and worried about Kaname.
"Next, I will touch upon hormonal control…. so to speak." Dr. Cannon-Bard winked.
Tessa looked uncomfortable at first, then managed a shy glance at Sousuke.
"Boys usually pay attention to this part of the lecture. If not, I can always go over it again, if you like." Dr. Cannon-Bard tossed her hair.
Sousuke stood at attention.
"Hormonal control is a complex process. The command center seems to lie in a central part of the brain, just below the oldest most central structure, the thalamus. In your terms, Sergeant, the hypothalamus is the commander, and the pituitary gland below it is the first lieutenant. Don’t feel obliged to salute."
Tessa covered a laugh with her hand.
Sophia discussed various general points, none of which Sousuke expected to remember for more than two or three days. He felt a bit wary when she said that the treatment would affect hormonal levels as well.
The facts came fast, one after another. Sousuke figured he must know how the British defenders must have felt when they saw hoards of Zulu warriors descending on their position. Dr. Cannon-Bard went on to discuss the senses, and how the brain at times actually makes educated guesses based on the data at hand and on some simple assumptions.
"To resolve ambiguities and make sense of the world, the brain can create shapes from incomplete data. We construct such images unconsciously and very rapidly. Part of our procedure will capitalize on that very tendency."
Sousuke’s mind began constructing images of Kaname. For a moment, he created certain tantalizing anatomical representations based on incomplete visual information. Stop! Why am I doing this? There is a mission coming up. I………. need………. to………. focus.
Sophia looked at her watch. "Well, we’re moving along well. I have just enough time left to sketch out the current understanding of motivations."
Dr. Schacher looked at Sousuke. "Sophia, I think we’ve covered enough for the Sergeant to make an informed decision. I need to go over some of the physical details with him."
"Can’t I just go over the motivations based on physiological needs, the ones crucial for immediate survival?" Sophia batted her eyes.
Sousuke gulped. He looked a plea to the former Special Forces soldier.
"Maybe later."
"What about less important but more interesting biologically-based ones, like sex, aggression, and the like?" Sophia tried a winsome smile.
Sousuke froze. Tessa bit her lip. Mardukas looked at Tessa and spoke up.
"I believe Dr. Schacher is correct. The Sergeant needs time to receive additional mission information after a brief convalescent period. Accordingly, we cannot spend too much time here."
"But our work…. it might make it easier for him to accept the necessity…. tt least let me talk a little about positive feedback loops, biochemical modification, or molecular micro-spheres…."
"No." Dr. Schacher walked over and turned the projector off. Thinking a moment more, he unplugged the device.
"Perhaps you, the Sergeant, and I can look finish watching material about the biologically-based motivations later, doctor." Tessa moved her pony tail back and forth.
Cmdr. Mardukas retrieved the projector and took it back to the media lock-up before returning. Tessa pouted. Sousuke sighed, wiping his forehead.
"Basically, Sergeant, we surmised that you are able to use the Lambda Driver because at certain times, yours senses, emotions, and motivations align in some required fashion." Dr. Schucher walked over to one of the tables and motioned Sousuke to follow him.
"In a manner of speaking, your three brains would appear to be synchronized, or in complete agreement at such times. Perhaps that is why we have yet to find a woman who shows any ability to influence Lambda Driver technology." The doctor stepped to one side, dodging a cup thrown by his compatriot.
"Taking it a step further, when something is out of proper orientation, your link is either incomplete or inconsistent. We have worked with various theories, countless biochemical agents, and a multitude of delivery systems in an attempt to force and maintain an optimal link."
Sousuke’s hope was on the rise. Complete and consistent control of the Lambda Driver would be a phenomenal achievement in his opinion. He could make any move or employ any strategy, without fear that he might suddenly be caught in a vulnerable situation when systems failed.
If he could maintain total attunement with Arbalest---while his adversaries suffered the vagaries of fate---he would have a tremendous advantage. Even if his enemies were as attuned as Gauron, he would still have a chance against them.
"Understand me. This is new and incompletely validated stuff. The mind is such a complex place, no one is sure what might happen. My apologies to Dr. Cannon-Bard, but a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing." Dr. Schacher ignored the gesture she gave him.
Sousuke nodded his head. "I understand, sir. I have learned that from experience, multiple times.
Cmdr. Mardukas had returned. His countenance clouded over.
Tessa looked nervous.
"In this bottle, we have time-release biospheres. They contain various chemicals that will interact with the neurotransmitters in your brain. We will inject them now, and they will begin building up in gradually increasing levels. The boost will continue beyond your estimated time of battle." He showed Sousuke a vial and an auto-injector.
"Here, in the other bottle, we have additional chemicals, carried inside of special reactive micro-spheres. In the presence of a Lambda Driver backlash field, the spheres will break down, releasing their contents into the blood stream. We will inject these after we are certain you have no ill effects due to the first injection." The man stared at Sousuke, prompting a response.
"I see, Sir. I have no problem with anything said so far. Please continue."
Dr. Schacher went over various monitoring devices, and showed Sousuke a fabric hood trailing wires. "You will wear this as you sleep in hear tonight. It will influence the conductivity of your nervous system, and will work to set up certain preconceived responses. It too is new and incompletely tested.
"Acceptable, Sir." Sousuke wasn’t as certain as he sounded. He had only just begun to explore his and emotions, and didn’t want things permanently changed. There were new memories that were precious to him. There were feelings of anticipation that he wanted to preserve.
"We will have someone monitor you when you sleep, young man. The rest of us will stay on board, in case there are any unanticipated effects."
"I… I volunteer to watch Sgt. Sagara," Tessa said, her eyes intense. "After all, I am his Captain. His safety and well-being are my concern." She took a half-step towards Sousuke.
Commander Mardukas wrapped his hand around one of Tessa’s wrists and led her from the room.
Dr. Schacher spoke with Sousuke a bit more, then asked whether or not he would consent to the procedure.
"Yes," Sousuke answered. He would do that for Kaname. For Seoul, Tokyo, and everywhere else as well. But, mostly for Kaname.
After laying down on the examining table, Sousuke was strapped down for his own safety, since his reactions to the various bio-chemicals and molecular agents could not be predicted.
"You shouldn’t be here longer than an hour…hour and thirty minutes…." Dr. Schacher administered the first injection. He nodded to Mr. Damasio who adjusted the readout on one device.
"When you are finished, I will notify Melissa Mao to come and collect you. Relax now. If you like, I have headphones and a wide selection of music and ambient noise."
"I have some aroma-therapy scents in my purse," Dr. Cannon-Bard piped up. Dr. Schacher just shook his head.
"No thank you, Sir. Mam. I will try to get some sleep if I may." Sousuke’s eyes looked sunken. He yawned.
"Good idea. You’re a true soldier. Get it while you can!" Dr. Schacher laughed.
The words echoed in Sousuke’s mind as he began to slip off towards sleep. ‘Get it while you can.’ Those words could be applied to many subjects, including one that might threaten to keep him awake. More importantly, the saying was apropos for life in general.
"Kaname."
After whispering that name, Sousuke drifted off.
"Yes, Sir." The answer was physically true.
He was still somewhat weary, but that was from his emotional ordeal.
"Please, be seated."
Sousuke sat down.
"There are a number of matters to discuss, the most significant of which is the upcoming mission. I would like to start off by saying that we did not remove you on a whim. There were no ulterior motives in mind." The older gentleman’s eyes were steely and intense.
"Sir, I would not expect such. I understand where Mithril’s priorities lay. And, I trust you implicitly." Sousuke was being honest. He broke eye contact briefly before making his next statement. " I believe I also know why you may be stating that up front.
"Good. What I say next is for your ears only. It is no doubt something that you have considered yourself." Kalinin rubbed his beard, determined to make his point despite the fact that some amongst his superiors might take it as a betrayal or tipping of possible future hands..
"There are those in the organization that think that the benefit of guarding one Whispered girl is not worth the cost of a uniquely qualified soldier. I say this for one particular reason, Sergeant."
Kalinin sat back and folded his hands. He wanted Sousuke’s assessment.
"As long as I willingly go where I am assigned.... without making waves.... those people will have no reason to act. The Lambda Driver is crucial for Arbalest. Arbalest is crucial for missions against similar technology. I am crucial for Arbalest and the Lambda Driver."
"Correct. I would hasten to add that you do not wish to say or do anything that might call your dedication into question. It would be wise not to do anything that might hinder your interface with the Black Technology. Emotional stability and control will be prerequisites."
"Yes, Sir. It is in my better interest to merely be a soldier. It is not enough to be discrete." Sousuke swallowed. His jaw clenched. His commanding officer did not miss those actions.
The younger man’s thoughts went immediate to Kaname. His mind was in the mood to be perverse. He thought about the kiss again.
Was his life taking its old path. Did he finally discover something meaningful, only to have fate rush in and carry it away?
Kalinin rested his chin on his hands, staring at the younger soldier. He knew more about Sousuke than anyone else alive. He himself had been through difficult or conflicting domestic situations as an inexperienced soldier and as a grizzled savvy fighter.
He thought back the time when his wife was still alive…. when his children were still young. It had been too long since he had a chance to see his son and daughter.
"No. It is not that simple, Sergeant. If only for the fact that you are not merely a soldier, no matter what you may think at times. In addition, those of us who tend to be more visionary recognize the fact that you have not reached your full potential as a warrior. There are particular areas you are deficient in. They have to do with your social skills and emotional awareness."
"I have begun to realize that, Sir."
Sousuke wondered what good emotion awareness was to a fighter. Would it help him pilot the ARX-7? Improve his aim or bolster his nerve? Make him unstoppable at hand to hand combat?
"But your wondering how any of that will prove useful?" The Lt. Cmdr. Had correctly predicted his younger companions thoughts.
"Affirmative."
"When there is time, I will give you a book I once found useful. Suffice it to say, we all have emotions, unless we are dead. We may not be aware of them. Repression and suppression are powerful forces, and are neither our friends nor our enemies. It does us no good to be slaves to out feelings, or to ignore them altogether.. Your feelings are not new, Sergeant. But, they may seem that way to you now that you allow yourself to take notice of them."
"I see. That would explain what I have experienced. The effect was overwhelming at first, but I believe I have things under control."
That was what Sousuke’s intellect thought. His intuition and emotions had a different opinion.
"Very good. I will be blunt. Generally, it is poor policy to permit an operative to develop feelings for the one he is assigned to protect. A number of tragedies have occurred in the past, in this organization and in armed forces and intelligence agencies across the globe."
"I understand, Sir." Sousuke couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice. His eyes gave clear indication of how he was feeling.
Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin raised one eyebrow. It was as close as he would come to smiling. It was good to see a hint of positive emotions in his young subordinate. The young man had been through so much... it wasn’t right for Mithril to expect him to give up things that everyone else took for granted. The same thing could be said for their Captain, despite what Cmdr. Mardukas might think.
"In this case, however, I can see some benefits that outweigh the concerns." He watched Souske’s face closely. The look in Sousuke’s eyes indicated that he was aware of the scrutiny.
"Sir?" Sousuke sat up straighter. He gripped the arms of his chair.
He would not have to contemplate losing Kaname? A relationship was permitted, if not officially encouraged?
"We don’t have time to discuss that issue now, Sergeant. I just wanted to broach the subject so that I can probe a bit further. You will understand why, later." Kalinin tapped his hand against a number of folders. Mission reports and preliminary plans.
Sousuke nodded his head.
"Unless I miss my guess, you wore those clothes tonight for Miss Chidori’s benefit?" The Lt. Cmdr. Spoke very casually.
"Yes, Sir."
"And you two spent time together, such that you either had no time to change, or your thoughts were preoccupied."
"Correct, Sir." Sousuke felt as if his one time foe could read his mind.
"Was this because you had plans for tomorrow night… which this mission so ruthlessly torpedoed?"
"Yes."
Sousuke tried not to feel crestfallen. He failed. The idea of time alone with Kaname in an intimate setting had at first confused him. Later, it began to frighten him. Finally, he had begun to feel curious. When he knew he would not be able to accompany her, he wished more than anything else that he could.
"I had surmised as much from your radio conversation. And, it would appear that the rumors were true." Lt. Kalinin’s eyes narrowed. "You realize that such unguarded speech does you no good?"
"Affirmative!" Sousuke spoke in a great rush. His face reddened.
Lt. Cmdr, Kalinin actually grinned. "Yes, in that manner too. I think you understand my major point, however."
"I do, Sir. I did not rush into thing without following protocol. I was discrete in my search for advice. The person I confided in kept my confidence. Neither of us had reason to suspect a serious breech in security."
"Wiretap?"
Sousuke blinked repeatedly. It was as good as saying "Yes!"
"I will not probe further, now. Someone will no doubt find his or herself on the wrong end of my boot, when the time is right. They will understand that they may be on the unfavorable end of a firing squad if they pull such a stunt again. You need not mention Sgt. Weber’s name at this time."
Sousuke blinked again. Kalinin nodded his head.
"It is unfortunate that our positions do not allow for us to speak as comrades or old friends, Sergeant. That is how I would prefer to address the following questions. I trust you will not believe that I am prying into your personal affairs for no reason."
"No, Sir!"
"Commendable. Are you and Miss Chidori romantically involved?" It was plain that Kalinin expected the answer to be ‘Yes.’ What he was after was the details.
"Uh...." Sousuke began to sweat. His hand twitched.
Kalinin narrowed his eyes.
"I believe so, Sir. I wouldn’t have thought so before... uh... we..."
The Lt. Cmdr. Began drumming his fingers on the desk top.
"…Kissed."
"I see." For a moment, Kalinin was almost incredulous, thinking that the young man was getting all tied up in knots by a simple kiss. Then, he put things in perspective. For Sousuke, that kind of kiss would be far from simple. There was no telling what he might be feeling or thinking, given the prior life he was forced to live.
There was dead silence.
The Lt. Cmdr. brushed off his sleeve, asking his next question in an off the cuff manner. Sousuke’s response would be instructive.
"Did that lead to sexual intercourse?"
Sousuke sat stunned. He looked like a rabbit ready to run. His eyes also looked calculating for a moment.
"N-No, Sir!"
Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin was often thought to be a dour man. He was not. He was professional through and through. He was reserved. It was difficult for him to keep from laughing.
"I see. No need to rush things. It will give you something to look forward to. You and her."
"Uh...."
"Trust me, Sergeant."
"Yes, Sir!"
"That is my unofficial response, Sergeant. You have given me the information I needed. That being so, let me give you some advice. You have duties to Mithril that must always come first. Always. You have a debt to the organization that you will continue to repay through the excellent and selfless service you provide. But, you also have a dept to yourself. And, if you truly have feelings for the young lady, you have a responsibility to her as well."
"Sir?"
"Pay attention, Sergeant. You may take this as an order if you like, or the advice of someone who is looking out for your best interests. Do not get caught up with being a soldier, when your mission priorities are not in conflict with your personal ones. Your life is one of uncertainty. There is no telling when the end might come, or when you might be reassigned permanently." Kalinin understood the life of a soldier all too well.
"I understand, Sir."
"Opportunities may be fleeting. You need to understand that in your heart as well as your head. Do not rush ahead precipitously. Your tendency to do that in other matters has brought the Finance Department close to burning you in effigy."
"Yes, Sir!"
"The Legal Department wanted to burn you at the stake………. in person."
"Understood, Sir!"
"Above all else, don’t feel that you are duty or honor bound to deny yourself the things you are ultimately fighting for. Life. Freedom. Intimacy. Love. Too many people want their soldiers to fight, nothing more---it disturbs some people to realize that we have feelings too. For others, it erodes their confidence. We soldiers do not have to feel the same way."
Sousuke nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. He felt relieved. It felt as if an unknown burden had been lifted from him.
He wished he could tell Kaname what he heard right that moment.
"I think I have an understanding of what Miss Chidori means to you, Sgt. Sagara." Kalinin pushed a number of folders towards the younger man.
"I am happy for you as a person. But, I must ask you now to put those feelings aside as a soldier. For this mission, that may be especially difficult. But, it is crucial for our success. I cannot emphasize that too much. And, as I said before, your actions will be scrutinized."
Skimming the final paragraph in an Intel assessment, Sousuke went cold. The threats were of an enormous scale. But, he did not regret being called in on this mission. He would not have been able to protect Kaname by staying in Tokyo. If things went wrong, there might no longer be a Tokyo.
"I will give you a capsular summary. Sgt. Major Mao will go into operational details with you later. Before, however, you will meet with the Captain in the medical area. I will go so far to say that I do not agree with her decision, but will defer to her greater scientific knowledge. I hope that you will not suspect that her actions are driven by personal feelings or disappointment." The look Kalinin gave Sousuke was rather pointed.
"No, Sir! Of course not, Sir!" First Melissa. Now Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin. What had them so concerned? Sousuke needed to put those worries out of his mind.
"Good. If you had such suspicions, I would direct you to speak with Cmdr. Mardukas." The Lt. Cmdr. was not above making jokes. It did not appear that his young associate found any humor in the statement.
"There is no need, Sir!" Sousuke’s eyes bulged.
"I thought as much." Kalinin coughed. It was time to get to the business at hand.
"As you can tell from the documents in your hand, our target is in the republic of North Korea. The provincial government there has long threatened to use nuclear weapons if they are attacked, but most people understand that to be saber rattling. Unfortunately, that government has been circumvented. A group of rogue military officials has aligned itself with the terrorist group known as Grendel. Together, they are intent on selling fissionable materials and nuclear technology to anyone with a large enough bank account."
Sosusuke had heard about Grendel in the past. He always thought it would be a matter of time before they and Mithril crossed paths. A sometimes rival of Amalgam, Grendel was one of the big boys. They were felt to have had an equal interest in the Whispered. That likely meant access to Black Technology.
"At least, that is what the North Koreans think." Kalinin handed Sousuke another summary report. "We suspect Grendel has different plans."
"Sir, what about the United States? Are they aware of the full situation? It would be unusual for them to stand by and do nothing."
Sousuke had no illusions about that nation. It could be viewed as the equivalent of a general surgeon. The intentions were good, and the skill was commendable. But, mistakes were sometimes made. When they were the consequences could be serious. Mithril played the role of a medical specialist. The skill level was higher, if much more focused. Mistakes could be disastrous.
"Yes, there are those who know all that we do. Most military personnel and politicians---in the United States and other nations--- are aware only of the general situation, without knowing the specific threats behind it. Our contacts in America inform us that the United States military is planning to act before any materials exchange hands."
"Yes. That would be their tendency."
"Our contacts would like us to disarm the situation before the politicians make their inevitable mistakes."
"They are concerned that materials will slip by their soldiers?"
"Yes. But that is the least of their worries. The conspirators have full use of a number of critical military bases, including the missile launch facilities at Tae Po Dong. They have under control, a number of completed No-Dong missiles and a handful of Taep’o-dong 2 ICBMs."
Sousuke moved around uncomfortably in his chair. He remembered Kurz’ joke about the No Dong missile. Unlike his friend, Sousuke did not take the weapon lightly. With a 1350-1500 km range and a 750-1000 kg payload capacity, the relatively unsophisticated missile still represented a threat. Not having much better accuracy or reliability than the SCUD-C which it closely resembled, the No-Dong could still make an effective terror weapon if the North Koreans had managed to fit them with biological or ‘dirty’ nuclear warheads.
The Taep’o-dong 2 was a more serious matter. The second stage was a further evolution of the No-Dong, capable of carrying nuclear warheads. The first stage was a derivative of the more reliable Peoples Republic of China’s DF-3 or CSS-2 booster. With a 6000 km range. that weapon would place a fair portion of the globe at risk. A three stage version could reach areas of the continental United States.
"Sir, do our Intelligence sources suspect that the missiles will be used for more than nuclear blackmail?"
Sousuke wasn’t certain he wanted to hear the answer. He thought he knew what Lt. Cmd. Kalinin had been speaking about earlier. The one report summary suggested a frightening possibility.
"Yes. I’m afraid so. I doubt that the North Korean participants would be so daring, or so despicable. In fact, it would be against their better interests. Grendel is another matter. They have run afoul of the United States on occasion, and may well wish to rid themselves of that hindrance. Certain scenarios seem both likely and devastating."
Kalinin made a small flourish with his hand, inviting Sousuke to speculate.
"A move by the U.S. military would prompt retaliation. Not at the American homeland, but at regional allies. The political fallout would be as damaging as the radioactive fallout. American troops and bases in the Pacific could be targeted as well. The resulting chaos would serve Grendel well."
"Exactly. A fine analysis, Sergeant, closely paralleling a number of computer models. Take things a step further. What do you suspect the primary targets would be?"
"South Korea. Most likely Seoul. Japan. Most likely Tokyo."
"Correct. The North Koreans would be pleased with those targets, even though they would not expect that Grendel would wrest control from them and launch the weapons. They no doubt would fuel the missiles, to try and force their demands to be met. It takes eight hours to complete the process, and there is no way to hide that activity from spy satellites. Such an act would be an invitation to intervention if it failed to be an effective political deterrent."
"Sir, why wouldn’t the U.S. employ a cruise missile strike or B-2 bombers? Especially if they have no knowledge that Black technology may be at use."
"They would want proof to show the world community, especially after their actions in Iraq. Another such military action could do irreparable harm to international relations. They would use Arm Slaves and Special Forces. Directed energy weapons might be used on the launch vehicles if they have any such devices in the Pacific theater. At last report, no such aircraft were in that part of the world."
"The attack would succeed against North Korean forces, but not against Grendel."
Sousuke was certain of that. Black Technology was to conventional modern weapons as firearms were to horse and lance. Overwhelming numbers could not be brought to bear. That meant that equal technology was needed.
"Correct. Not only are they suspecting such an action, they are counting on it. By report, they have at least one advanced A.S. on Korean soil with Lambda Driver capabilities. Our informants suggest that they may have as many as three. You remember what Venom did to the American Arm Slaves on Berildaobu Island."
Sousuke nodded his head. He tried not to dwell on the picture he saw in his head, that of Melissa laying wounded, after he failed to get the Lambda Driver in Arbalest to work. He could not afford to doubt himself or the weapons at his disposal.
An image of Kaname took Melissa’s face. For one moment she stood standing by a window. The next instant, there was a flash of light and she was gone.
He became aware that he had been silent too long. He rushed to continue.
"That explains the need for Mihtril. It also explains my importance. I see why you wished to know my feelings for Miss Chidori." Sousuke’s voice was calm and collected. He held his shoulders up and his chin straight.
Kalinin merely nodded, watching the younger man closely.
"It would be a tremendous responsibility for anyone, Sergeant. Countless lives at stake. The entire political and financial structure of the world is hanging in the balance. It becomes all the more difficult for one who is defending his homeland… his friends and classmates… and his significant other. Your discoveries have come at a difficult time."
"Yes. That is true."
"It is paramount that you do not let your emotions distract you, Sergeant. This must be handled like any other mission. Not only must you guard against despair or undue fear of the consequences, you must also be wary of impulses that might seem right and good. It could prove foolhardy to rush in overzealous, determined to protect the ones you care for."
"I understand. I will not be distracted. I am a Specialist!"
"There is nothing more I have time to discuss. Sgt. Major Mao will explain things in more detail. You should not expect to carry the full weight on yours shoulder, Sergeant."
"Sir, I…"
Kalinin held up a hand, halting any assurance Sousuke might offer.
"Although easier said than done, your sole task will be to delay or destroy the opposing Arm Slaves with Black Technology. Do that, and there stands a very good chance that the missiles will be destroyed before they can be launched. Other soldiers will have the job of gathering proof of nuclear weapons, looking for evidence of Grendel’s involvement, and disabling the missiles."
"I understand, Sir. The most crucial task of all will be making it to our expected deployment site undetected and getting our equipment on the ground before the missiles could be launched. I take it there are reasons we will not strike before the ICBMs begin fueling?"
There were still particulars that troubled Sousuke. Likely it was because he didn’t know all of the details.
"Yes. Mithril’s very existence requires the walking of a political tightrope. Those who know of our existence would erase all ties if we attacked unprovoked, even though they have the same fears we do. Partial fueling of the missiles might be considered as part of a ploy. Complete fueling could be construed as a definite intent to launch. It’s a dangerous game of brinksmanship, with so very much at stake."
"Can the weapons be launched incompletely fueled?" Sousuke’s question was a good one.
"There are those who doubt they can, given the reliability issues they have faced on short range test firings. But, no one is certain. As things stand, we time our launch so that our forces such that they arrive when the the missiles seven and one half hours into fueling. That means we can afford no delays… no matter what."
"There is a potential problem?" The tone of his superior’s voice suggested as much.
"Yes. Bad storms are moving in. If we are lucky, they will delay fueling and hold off the Americans until we are able to do what is necessary. If not, we may be fighting under exceedingly rough conditions."
Better and better.
"If that is all Sir, I should be headed to the medical area. Your words were well chosen. I thank you."
"Think nothing of it, Sergeant. We all have our jobs to do. You see that you do yours to the utmost!"
"Sir, yes Sir!" Sousuke snapped off a crisp salute. "I will not betray your faith in me."
‘And I will not fail Kaname,’ he added in his thoughts.
It was time to find out what had Sgt. Major Mao and Lt. Commander Kalinin on edge.
***************
***************
***************
Sousuke cursed. Not for the first time. Enough was enough.
In the past, coming back aboard the TDD-1 was almost like going back to the womb. After missions, it was a place of calm and security, wrapped in the comforting blanket of the sea. When he returned to the submarine after spending time at Jindai High School, he had felt the tensions of teenage life drain out of him, replaced with a sense of certainty and belonging.
Not this morning. Not this long sleepless morning.
After he had stepped off of the helicopter, he almost felt like an outsider, a visitor. Part of his mind tried to tell him that home was where Kaname was. That made little sense. He had felt better in Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin’s office, even though the topics of conversation were emotionally trying. The older man was somewhat of a father figure to him. For some reason, his cabin felt small, confining. Its sparse décor made him feel isolated and sensory deprived.
The only real moment of release came when he changed back into his Mithril uniform. The feel against his skin was not as smooth as his street clothes, but the familiarity made up for that. Looking down at his civvies, he found it hard to believe he had worn them. Taking them off was almost like throwing away a different life he had begun discovering. Would that life be waiting for him to put back on when he could go back?
Stopping in the mess area, he downed a cup of coffee, much too quickly. It burned his throat. But, he had needed something to drink and his eyelids were heavy. He downed a second one because he could. A small number of crewmen were sitting and eating an early shift breakfast. They all saluted him silently with their aluminum cups, smiling. Why?
He found out why when he walked back into the hangar area. The tarps were off, despite the singular efforts of a shouting Kurz Weber. The long-haired Sergeant frantically tried to put the tarps back on, but was outnumbered by the people gleefully throwing them down to the hangar floor. Failing at that approach, he tried to rip down one of a whole slew of giant banners. Hanging on with all his weight, he managed to dislodge one, but lost his footing. The material tore, and he swung out into space screaming.
Sousuke’s attention was drawn to the action, so he didn’t take notice of the posters and banners yet. Melissa was not far from Kurz. She likely had been stalking after him, ready to administer some form of chastisement. Some of the men and women busy preparing the room stopped to whistle, applaud, or call out encouragement for the Sergeant Major.
"Babe, help me down. I’m dangling here!" Kurz’ voice was high-pitched. Kicking his legs, he tried to bring himself over one of the walkways. He didn’t want to fall on one of the AV8X aircraft below. A twenty foot fall would be bad enough. The pilots were very touchy.
"Not as much as you’re gonna be!" Melissa reached down by her leg. Even Sousuke’s keen eyes couldn’t make out the detail at that distance, but they didn’t need to. He surmised what was in her hand. Her combat knife.
"I was doing my best to get everything down!" Kurz swung close to his desired point of release. One more swing out to bring him there.
"Me too, asshole!" Melissa slashed with her knife. The banner was cut free. Kurz plummeted to the ground.
Suddenly, Sousuke was stunned. Not by his comrade’s fall. Not by the scream of rage coming from a pilot throwing aside his coffee cup and making a bee-line for the injured Arm Slave pilot. Not by the obscene shout of triumph coming from Melissa Mao.
He had looked upward, seeing the forest for the trees. The banners were in his honor, so to speak. His, and Kaname’s. At first he went numb. Then he felt embarrassed. Soon after that, he began to get angry. He felt a need to defend Kaname. Especially since there was a chance there would no longer be a Kaname.
The huge block lettering on the largest banner read ‘GO FOR IT!!!’
The letters and words on the other banners swirled and swam before his eyes. He had to grit his teeth and put forth considerable effort to bring them into focus. He never read all of them. He read more than enough.
‘Looking for a new mattress, try CHIDORI brand.’
‘Torpedo away!!!’
‘Don’t stop until she screams your name instead of mine!’
‘DIVE… DIVE… DIVE…’
Sousuke realized that his shipmates were only showing their affection for him. In a sense, that was reassuring. But, at that moment, he felt violated. Nonetheless, he did as the Lt. Cmdr. Had suggested. He fought hard to bring his emotions under control. That became an especially task when he saw the sign hanging from the ARX-7.
‘THE LOVE MACHINE’
Shaking his head, Sousuke marched onward. He had no time or desire to deal with Kurz right now. It was time to report to the medical area. Sousuke told himself that with great panache, a soldier obeying his orders. But, his mind would have nothing of it. As he passed each successive doorway, he felt his throat grow tighter and tighter. His heartbeat went up. His breathing quickened. He began to sweat.
If he kept this up, he would look as if he were sick when he got there!
A thought kept reasserting itself: was he ill? Did the blood work and testing he had done during his routine evaluation turn up some serious problem? If Captain Testarossa was involved, did it mean that his role on the TDD-1 might be in jeopardy. Would this be his last mission? ‘Thanks for saving the world soldier, you’re dismissed. No, you’re discharged!’
"Emotions under control. I must keep my emotions under control. Do not count the casualties until the battle has been fought." Sousuke repeated that to himself, growing more relaxed as he walked. He repeated one more time before walking through the marked door.
The sight he saw made him begin again.
Captain Testarossa was there. Here first look was one of surprise. That was followed by a somewhat sheepish expression, and then by furrowed brows and a tight frown. She stopped tugging at her pony tail.
Cmdr. Mardukas was there, hovering at the Captain’s side, his eyes dark and piercing. The look he gave Sousuke was sharp and jagged like the edge of a broken bottle. Sousuke straightened up walked stiffer.
There was no sign of the ship’s doctor. Instead, there were three strangers, a woman and two men dressed in long white lab coats. The woman was working on a digital projector. One of the men was pulling down a view screen. The third individual was taking vials of liquid out of a large leather medical bag.
There were restraints on the examination table.
A number of MPs were standing by the doorway.
What was going on?
"Sgt. Sagara, you are finally here." Tessa’s voice was somewhat shrill, but not overly so. "I’m glad you could spare us your attention." Those last words carried a bit of an edge. Sousuke thought he might no why.
"Sgt. Sousuke Sagara, reporting for duty as instructed, mam!"
"Yes… yes…. I know who you are, Sergeant." Tessa stared at him a moment, then began fiddling with her pony tail again, turning it around in her hand. "And you know the Commander of course."
Sousuke began to sweat again, looking over at Mardukas. The man’s face seemed like it had been carved from flint.
"I have a number of introductions to make. First, may I introduce you to Dr. Sophia Cannon-Bard, Neuro-psychiatrist." Tessa nodded to the attractive middle-aged woman with shoulder length black hair.
Finishing up with the projector, the woman walked over to Sousuke.
"So, this is the young man who merited such marvelous banners." Sophia smiled, an evil glint in her eye. "Rest easy, young man. An explanation will be forthcoming. You are in good hands."
Sousuke swallowed hard.
Tessa looked dyspeptic.
"I’m Dr. Charles Schacher," a burly older man said squeezed Sousuke’s hand in a vice-like grip. "I’m a Biomedical Specialist. Ex-SEAL. I’ll protect you from Dr. Cannon-Bard." He gave Sousuke a pat on the back then stepped aside. He laughed at the expression the woman gave him.
Sousuke felt more comfortable around a Special Forces veteran. That was the type of Specialist he was more familiar with.
"Hello, I’m Tony Damasio, Medical Technologist. I will be monitoring the equipment and running stat blood work as necessary. I admire your courage. This will be a groundbreaking event." A short man with a close-cropped beard and mustache gave Sousuke a hand shake. His palm was slightly moist. His eyes went briefly to Sousuke’s face before darting around the room again.
Equipment? Groundbreaking? Blood work?
"We don’t have a lot of time, so I suppose I should get to the bottom line." Tessa smoothed out her uniform and looked up at Sousuke’s face. "Some of us here are disappointed in you, Sgt. Sagara."
Sousuke’s jaw tightened. There was a double meaning to Tessa’s words, he was certain of that. Looking over at Cmdr. Mardukas, he saw the man’s face change ever so slightly. There was a subtle smile on his lips.
"Captain?"
"Arbalest, Sousuke…." Tessa blushed, after calling him by name. "The Lambda Driver in particular. On that island, you couldn’t interface at all. If the enemy hadn’t allowed himself to be captured, you and your team mates no doubt would have been destroyed." She stopped, letting that point sink in. Her hand trembled slightly as she remembered her ordeal at the hands of Gauron.
"That failure could have been catastrophic," Cmdr. Mardukas put in. "You can imagine what might happen on this mission if there is another such failure."
The word ‘failure’ cut Sousuke like a knife. It sounded as if he were somehow deficient or defiant. The injustice of that implication had him scowling. He had not asked to bond with that A.I. And, if he was so useless, why hadn’t Mithril found someone else capable of being a necessary catalyst?
"We don’t blame you personally, Sergeant." Tessa’s face softened. She correctly guessed how Sousuke must be feeling.
"There is a lot at risk here. This project has been going on for a while, ever since you used Arbalest. There were those in high command who insisted we make use of the results, even though there have been no validation studies." Tessa sounded like she was of two minds.
"That can hardly be helped, Captain." Sophia said suavely. "As I told you before, there are no subjects to experiment on. Animal models won’t work, and the young man there is the only soldier in Mithril who has worked with the device."
Sousuke began to feel very uneasy. It sounded as if he were going to be used as some form of guinea pig. That would be bad enough at any time. But to undergo some unproven treatment before the mission, with so much at stake? What might happen? He didn’t want Kaname’s safety hinging on the results of some wild scheme.
"There are rumors that a number of the terrorist groups with Venom class Arm Slaves and machines of similar ilk are having a difficult time finding pilots. It seems that your late adversary was a rare man, someone whose complex emotional state allowed him to operate the Lambda Driver effortlessly." Dr. Schacher’s voice was strong and unapologetic.
"It could be that the enemy pilots you face will have the same issues you have, Sergeant." Dr. Cannon Bard picked up a laser pointer and walked over towards the projector.
"But, if you match up against more than one adversary---even if they each face random failures---there is a good chance that at least one of them will remain operational at all times. That is why we were all unceremoniously pulled from our homes and our jobs. That is why we are here."
"It’s not simply about you, Sousuke." Tessa’s eyes suddenly looked frightened. Tears gathered there, threatening to spill over. "It’s about everyone who is in danger. We need to take this risk. If you were to fail again, innocent people might pay the price."
She was clearly torn. She valiantly tried to remain brave and calm looking, but the slump in her shoulders and the rasp on her hair spoke of great inner turmoil.
Looking at Sousuke, Tessa bit her lip.
"Or, we would be forced to resort to methods that will have immense repercussions." Cmdr. Mardukas stepped close to Sousuke.
He continued in a quiet voice, close to a whisper. "We will launch cruise missiles at the appropriate time. If there is opportunity, we will bring down fire and brimstone upon the launch site. That will take out friend and foe alike. Do you understand what I am saying? If the mission fails entirely, nations will be cruelly struck. If you fail but we succeed, the blood of your comrade’s would be on your hands."
Sousuke bowed his head..
"One fact still remains, Sergeant." Dr. Schacher walked over and tapped on Sousuke’s chest.
"Mithril can order you to undergo the procedure, but you would still have a right to decline, putting your job at risk. However, those of us from the outside are consultants. We have been hired to do a job, but they cannot force us to administer the treatment. We won’t do that unless you volunteer." The man’s voice was neutral. Sousuke was grateful that he hadn’t tried to shame him into anything.
Sousuke thought about Kaname. He remembered the kiss they shared. He could smell her hair and feel the weight of her head on his shoulder. He really didn’t have a choice.
"Before you say anything, Sergeant, I have a presentation to present. It will serve as out equivalent of an informed consent form. You need to know what is going on before you can answer." Dr. Cannon-Bard turned on the projector. An image of a human brain filled the screen, different areas labeled and marked in different colors.
"I apologize if this is somewhat dry and clinical. You should see the professional version!" Sophia smiled. Dr. Schacher nodded his head.
"Some of what I have to say will be poetic license, a way to explain extremely difficult concepts. Nonetheless, the major points will be as factual as we know how to make them. Our understanding of human consciousness is limited, but there have been major advances. Could I have the lights down, please?"
The lights in the room dimmed. Sophia’s voice was nearly hypnotic. She had everyone’s attention.
"If you asked any person on the street how many brains he has, he’d likely tell you ‘one.’ That would hold true for women, but wishful thinking for men!" Sophia chuckled, then stopped abruptly. "Sorry. That’s my stock opening for this talk."
"In a sense, humans have three brains, two wrapped inside one. Can you remember a time when you REALLY wanted to do something, but KNEW you shouldn’t?"
Sousuke blushed, remembering a thought he had while kissing Kaname.
Tessa, pulled at her hair, looking at Sousuke.
Mardukas clenched his fist, looking at the same person Tessa was.
"The most illogical or irrational wants derive from the evolutionarily older parts of our brain, while the understanding of smart or dumb choices comes from the newer part."
"So, you are going to give him a newer part?" Cmdr. Mardukas asked sarcastically.
Tessa wondered if there was a way to change someone else’s choices.
Sophia continued without missing a beat. "Take another example. You can be hungry, but you don’t know that until you actually pay attention to that feeling. When you do take notice, you might realize you’ve been hungry for some time. Hunger comes from the most basic parts of our brain, but our actual awareness is controlled by the newer part."
Sousuke’s stomach growled. Now he realized he was hungry. Great.
"Brain number one, the ‘R complex,’ is centrally located. The ‘R’ stands for reptilian. The structure is somewhat similar to that seen in snakes and lizards." Sophia put a different image on. One side showed a highlighted area of the brain. The other showed a Fringed Lizard, its frill puffed to the fullest.
"Kaname…." Tessa whispered. Sousuke heard that and frowned.
"Brain number two, the ‘limbic system’ or ‘old mammalian brain,’ can be seen wrapping around the R complex. The closest equivalent would be the brains in dogs and cats." The image changed again. Another diagram of the human brain, next to a picture of a cat hissing at a dog.
Sousuke saw an image of Kaname and Tessa arguing. She shook his head to chase that thought away. This was serious business.
"Brain three, the ‘neocortex,’ is on the outside surface, wrapped around brain two. This is the crowning evolutionary development for primates, especially man. The neocortex allows things like complex social interactions, advance planning, and so forth. At least in women."
Tessa smiled.
"The limbic system is responsible for feelings. The R complex can be thought of as the ‘housekeeping brain,’ responsible for basics such as hunger, temperature control, fight-or-flight fear responses, unconscious urges to defend our territory or keep ourselves safe…. things like that. Are you with me so far, Sergeant?"
"I am." Sousuke wished that his limbic system would settle down some.
"In a good mood? Bad mood?" Sophia smiled.
"Both, mam."
Tessa giggled. Mardukas sneered.
"I see. Completely understandable. Well, your mood is probably influenced by several parts of your brain. The limbic system is probably the biggest culprit. The cingulated gyrus is one of the most crucial mood centers. It is actually cortex like the outer layers, but is buried deeper. The amygdala is essentially the fear center. The hippocampus plays a role in memory, which will in turn have a major effect on mood as well. The so called ‘master gland,’ the hypothalamus, plays a big role too." Dr. Cannon-Bard used the pointer to highlight various areas of the brain as she spoke. She added small bits of information as she went.
The talk touched briefly on the subject of memory, with Sophia mentioning that emotion and memory are very closely related.
"Do you like to go to parties, Sergeant?" The way the doctor said it, the words almost sounded like an invitation. Tessa frowned.
"Mam?"
"Say you went to one, Sergeant. And say you were to meet a number of different people. Whose faces would you remember? The woman who made you laugh. Or the man who made you feel embarrassed. The ones who have an emotional impact. That’s because the limbic system is in charge of transferring information into memory."
Sousuke opened and closed his mouth. He wondered if that was one of the reasons he had fewer memories about people or places than most other people seemed to have. Did his previous moratorium on emotions somehow put a damper on the things he remembered?
The doctors voice droned on. Sousuke lost track of some of her words, daydreaming about Kaname. That was more pleasurable than focusing on the hippocampus and where it was located… how it worked… and its vulnerability to stress. He stored away the fact that it was crucial for the formation of new memories, but would remember little else.
Kaname’s lips on the other hand…her softness… her contour….
"Still with us, young man?" Dr. Schacher’s voice brought Sousuke back to attention, in both senses of the word..
"Uh…I…yes!"
Tessa smiled. Mardukas growled. Dr. Cannon-Bard tapped her foot.
"Would it make it easier for you to pay attention if I added explosions, soldier?" Sophia wasn’t smiling.
"Yes, mam. I mean, it isn’t necessary, mam!"
"How about if we added a pretty girl?" Dr, Schacher laughed, seeing the look on Sousuke’s face. He suddenly went stiff, catching a glimpse of Tessa.
"In battle, one emotion that is of particular importance is fear." Sophia stared at Sousuke, daring him to nod off.
"Fear carries with it various things: worried thoughts… physical sensations such as a faster heart rate, sweating, increased breathing…. and behaviors, like attempting to escape the situation that makes one afraid in the first place. One may be afraid of dying or being injured. One may be worried about his or her comrades. One may have concerns about failure or the inability to complete his mission properly."
Sousuke felt as if they were all staring at him then. No, it almost felt as if the entire world was looking. Catching sight of Cmdr. Mardukas, he began to sweat… his heart raced… and his breathing grew quick and shallow.
"There is a complicated series of events in the nervous system that leads to physical sensations and the behaviors of fear."
Again, Dr. Cannon-Bard’s voice became a drone. Sousuke wondered what he and Kaname might have said or done, had they been able to go to Belles Des Belles. Would he have had sufficient words to say? Could he have done what Kaname might have expected? An alarm went off in his head…he was supposed to be paying attention.
"Medications…. particularly those that influence the serotin system…. are hypothesized to desensitize the fear network from the level of the amygdala through its projections to the hypothalamus and brainstem. Some of out current regimen will include such agents. Keeping up, Sergeant?"
"Amygdala, mam. Hypoyhalamus and brainstem!" Sousuke hoped she didn’t want anything more than that.
"Good!" Sophia smiled and put up the next image.
"You’re a better man than me," Dr. Schacher whispered, stifling a yawn.
He and Sousuke both forced themselves to listen while the woman discussed the basal ganglia and their relationship to obsessions. The ex-SEAL had heard the lecture before, in various forms. Sousuke was tired and worried about Kaname.
"Next, I will touch upon hormonal control…. so to speak." Dr. Cannon-Bard winked.
Tessa looked uncomfortable at first, then managed a shy glance at Sousuke.
"Boys usually pay attention to this part of the lecture. If not, I can always go over it again, if you like." Dr. Cannon-Bard tossed her hair.
Sousuke stood at attention.
"Hormonal control is a complex process. The command center seems to lie in a central part of the brain, just below the oldest most central structure, the thalamus. In your terms, Sergeant, the hypothalamus is the commander, and the pituitary gland below it is the first lieutenant. Don’t feel obliged to salute."
Tessa covered a laugh with her hand.
Sophia discussed various general points, none of which Sousuke expected to remember for more than two or three days. He felt a bit wary when she said that the treatment would affect hormonal levels as well.
The facts came fast, one after another. Sousuke figured he must know how the British defenders must have felt when they saw hoards of Zulu warriors descending on their position. Dr. Cannon-Bard went on to discuss the senses, and how the brain at times actually makes educated guesses based on the data at hand and on some simple assumptions.
"To resolve ambiguities and make sense of the world, the brain can create shapes from incomplete data. We construct such images unconsciously and very rapidly. Part of our procedure will capitalize on that very tendency."
Sousuke’s mind began constructing images of Kaname. For a moment, he created certain tantalizing anatomical representations based on incomplete visual information. Stop! Why am I doing this? There is a mission coming up. I………. need………. to………. focus.
Sophia looked at her watch. "Well, we’re moving along well. I have just enough time left to sketch out the current understanding of motivations."
Dr. Schacher looked at Sousuke. "Sophia, I think we’ve covered enough for the Sergeant to make an informed decision. I need to go over some of the physical details with him."
"Can’t I just go over the motivations based on physiological needs, the ones crucial for immediate survival?" Sophia batted her eyes.
Sousuke gulped. He looked a plea to the former Special Forces soldier.
"Maybe later."
"What about less important but more interesting biologically-based ones, like sex, aggression, and the like?" Sophia tried a winsome smile.
Sousuke froze. Tessa bit her lip. Mardukas looked at Tessa and spoke up.
"I believe Dr. Schacher is correct. The Sergeant needs time to receive additional mission information after a brief convalescent period. Accordingly, we cannot spend too much time here."
"But our work…. it might make it easier for him to accept the necessity…. tt least let me talk a little about positive feedback loops, biochemical modification, or molecular micro-spheres…."
"No." Dr. Schacher walked over and turned the projector off. Thinking a moment more, he unplugged the device.
"Perhaps you, the Sergeant, and I can look finish watching material about the biologically-based motivations later, doctor." Tessa moved her pony tail back and forth.
Cmdr. Mardukas retrieved the projector and took it back to the media lock-up before returning. Tessa pouted. Sousuke sighed, wiping his forehead.
"Basically, Sergeant, we surmised that you are able to use the Lambda Driver because at certain times, yours senses, emotions, and motivations align in some required fashion." Dr. Schucher walked over to one of the tables and motioned Sousuke to follow him.
"In a manner of speaking, your three brains would appear to be synchronized, or in complete agreement at such times. Perhaps that is why we have yet to find a woman who shows any ability to influence Lambda Driver technology." The doctor stepped to one side, dodging a cup thrown by his compatriot.
"Taking it a step further, when something is out of proper orientation, your link is either incomplete or inconsistent. We have worked with various theories, countless biochemical agents, and a multitude of delivery systems in an attempt to force and maintain an optimal link."
Sousuke’s hope was on the rise. Complete and consistent control of the Lambda Driver would be a phenomenal achievement in his opinion. He could make any move or employ any strategy, without fear that he might suddenly be caught in a vulnerable situation when systems failed.
If he could maintain total attunement with Arbalest---while his adversaries suffered the vagaries of fate---he would have a tremendous advantage. Even if his enemies were as attuned as Gauron, he would still have a chance against them.
"Understand me. This is new and incompletely validated stuff. The mind is such a complex place, no one is sure what might happen. My apologies to Dr. Cannon-Bard, but a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing." Dr. Schacher ignored the gesture she gave him.
Sousuke nodded his head. "I understand, sir. I have learned that from experience, multiple times.
Cmdr. Mardukas had returned. His countenance clouded over.
Tessa looked nervous.
"In this bottle, we have time-release biospheres. They contain various chemicals that will interact with the neurotransmitters in your brain. We will inject them now, and they will begin building up in gradually increasing levels. The boost will continue beyond your estimated time of battle." He showed Sousuke a vial and an auto-injector.
"Here, in the other bottle, we have additional chemicals, carried inside of special reactive micro-spheres. In the presence of a Lambda Driver backlash field, the spheres will break down, releasing their contents into the blood stream. We will inject these after we are certain you have no ill effects due to the first injection." The man stared at Sousuke, prompting a response.
"I see, Sir. I have no problem with anything said so far. Please continue."
Dr. Schacher went over various monitoring devices, and showed Sousuke a fabric hood trailing wires. "You will wear this as you sleep in hear tonight. It will influence the conductivity of your nervous system, and will work to set up certain preconceived responses. It too is new and incompletely tested.
"Acceptable, Sir." Sousuke wasn’t as certain as he sounded. He had only just begun to explore his and emotions, and didn’t want things permanently changed. There were new memories that were precious to him. There were feelings of anticipation that he wanted to preserve.
"We will have someone monitor you when you sleep, young man. The rest of us will stay on board, in case there are any unanticipated effects."
"I… I volunteer to watch Sgt. Sagara," Tessa said, her eyes intense. "After all, I am his Captain. His safety and well-being are my concern." She took a half-step towards Sousuke.
Commander Mardukas wrapped his hand around one of Tessa’s wrists and led her from the room.
Dr. Schacher spoke with Sousuke a bit more, then asked whether or not he would consent to the procedure.
"Yes," Sousuke answered. He would do that for Kaname. For Seoul, Tokyo, and everywhere else as well. But, mostly for Kaname.
After laying down on the examining table, Sousuke was strapped down for his own safety, since his reactions to the various bio-chemicals and molecular agents could not be predicted.
"You shouldn’t be here longer than an hour…hour and thirty minutes…." Dr. Schacher administered the first injection. He nodded to Mr. Damasio who adjusted the readout on one device.
"When you are finished, I will notify Melissa Mao to come and collect you. Relax now. If you like, I have headphones and a wide selection of music and ambient noise."
"I have some aroma-therapy scents in my purse," Dr. Cannon-Bard piped up. Dr. Schacher just shook his head.
"No thank you, Sir. Mam. I will try to get some sleep if I may." Sousuke’s eyes looked sunken. He yawned.
"Good idea. You’re a true soldier. Get it while you can!" Dr. Schacher laughed.
The words echoed in Sousuke’s mind as he began to slip off towards sleep. ‘Get it while you can.’ Those words could be applied to many subjects, including one that might threaten to keep him awake. More importantly, the saying was apropos for life in general.
"Kaname."
After whispering that name, Sousuke drifted off.
