FullMetal*Panic!

Sousuke woke early, and spent the pre-dawn hour doing light exercises and stretches. His sleep had been fitful. The smell of Kaname was still faint on her bed. At first, it was a familiar thing in a strange place. But, the scent later led to dreams that were emotionally confusing and physically embarrassing.

The world around him was quiet now. Traffic outside his window was light. An rare morning jogger passed by. Delivery men plied their trade. An occasional barking dog made its presence known.

The Chidori house was also silent. Sousuke enjoyed the peace. The previous evening had been more stressful than some combat missions. Shunya had read everyone the riot act.

Mr. Smith had been sent home and told to sleep there. If he did not find himself to be more professional when he woke up, he was not to return. There was to be no further dichotomy---he was not to be a bodyguard on the street, and a buddy in the house.

The one time police officer was clearly shaken. But, he realized that his reputation was at stake, and he agreed to tighten up his act. The cushy job had been fun while it lasted.

Sousuke was warned about the consequences of any further damage to the house caused by his weapons. It didn’t matter who the perpetrator was. He wouldn’t just be kicked out of the house this time---a formal complaint would be filed with Mithril, regardless of the ensuant complications.

He had agreed. He asked if Shunya wanted him to boobytrap his weapons cache. He kept silent after seeing the look on Kaname’s father’s face.

Kaname was to be prim and proper. Her father went into remarkable detail telling her things that she was not supposed to do. He had even written up a list prior to her arrival. A few items would be the equivalent of misdemeanors. A majority of offenses were highlighted in bold yellow---they would be considered felonies.

She had accepted the stipulations swiftly and meekly. Sousuke knew what that meant. The things on the list would be infractions only if she were caught. It would be his job to make certain she wasn’t caught.

Ayame was scolded in front of everybody. Tears running down her face, she had apologized to Sousuke and Kaname. She promised her father that she would behave. He was satisfied by that and sent her on her way. Sousuke and Kaname were not convinced.

Rightfully so.

When Shunya was discussing the sleeping arrangements, he noted that Sousuke would be sleeping in Kaname’s bed. Ayame had innocently asked if there would be room enough for the two of them. She already knew that Kaname would be sleeping in the trundle bed that slid out from under Ayame's mattress.

Shunya had glared at Sousuke, not Ayame. The look on Sousuke’s face had sent Ayame into a paroxysm of giggles.

The little minx had then asked who would guard her door at night. She worried that Sousuke might mistake her for Kaname when she sneaked into the room. Her expression was very convincing.

Kaname had her hands out to strangle her sister, but stopped when she heard her father suck in his breath. Shunya said that he would put tape over the outside of Sousuke’s door. He was not allowed to leave until the tape was removed.

Sousuke mentioned that he had a small camera surveillance system in his kit, offering it to Kaname’s father. The older man was sorely tempted, but waved away the offer, saying that Sousuke was a guest in his house.

Kaname sputtered in disbelief.

Later, when everyone was getting ready to turn in, Ayame had walked in on Sousuke while he was stowing away his things. She told him that everyone else was finished with the shower and that it was his turn. She pulled him by the arm and then pushed him into the bathroom. He didn’t see the key she hid in her palm.

There was already a naked silhouette behind the shower door.

It was Kaname.

She was singing and hadn’t heard him come in.

When Kaname pressed up against the glass momentarily, Sousuke turned too fast and banged his head on a towel rack.

“Uh...”

“Sousuke?” Kaname turned down the spray. “SOUSUKE!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???” She backed into the far corner. “If Daddy catches you....”

“Ayame...”

“OOOOH. That little...” Kaname stopped. There was a brief pause. “Soooo-uuusss-kaaaay...do you want to peek?”

“Urrrrk...”

“Well, you can’t!!! Now get out!!! Hurry!!!”

Sousuke opened the door. He heard Ayame’s voice growing in volume---she was walking towards the bathroom. “I’ve got the shower running for you, Daddy. Don’t waste the hot water.”

Sousuke did a textbook leap and roll, sliding to a stop in Kaname’s room. He had made it just before Shunya rounded the corner. He made as if he were busy sorting his clothes.

“EEEEK...Daddy!!!” Kaname screamed really loudly this time.

Sousuke grabbed his pistol and ran out into the hallway. He saw a red-faced Shunya leaving the bathroom. “Sir, is there a danger?.” He held a clip in his hand. “Is Kaname in there?”

“She’s...errr... showering.” Kaname’s father looked down at Ayame. The young girl cringed. The look she then turned on Sousuke promised more trouble.

“I see. Then I should be nowhere near here!” Sousuke covered his eyes and made his way back to the room. He hoped that he hadn’t overdone things. He was adept at subterfuge in the field. He was a greenhorn at this kind of thing. But, he was learning. Kurz and Melissa would be proud.

”Let’s go have a little talk, Ayame.”

“But Daaa-deeee...Sousuke….”

Sousuke nodded his head. That would teach the young girl to mess with a Specialist.

When Kaname had finished with the shower and properly dressed, she asked Sousuke for his pair of handcuffs.

“Kaname?”

“No questions, Sousuke!!!”

He wagered that Kaname had later handcuffed herself to Ayame the way that Sgt. Major Mao had cuffed herself to Tessa when they all stayed at his place.

Things had settled down after that. Kaname gave him a quick kiss when no one was watching, then headed off for bed. Shunya came by with the tape, and asked Sousuke to give his word that he wouldn’t exit through the window. He had almost felt like a prisoner. But, things could have been much worse.

It was a good thing he had been able to last the night without needing to use the restroom.

Finished with his exercising, Sousuke looked around Kaname’s room. There were many things there from her childhood---momentos, photographs, athletic trophies, and the like. There were also things he figured must have belonged to her mother. He spent some time wondering what Kaname must have been like as a child.

Gently, he picked up a picture showing the entire Chidori family. What it could it have been like to grow up with a family? He gave thought to whether or not he might want to have a family himself someday. Would he have that opportunity?

Sighing, he realize that his life only seemed complicated now. Things could and no doubt would get much more daunting in the future. There would be difficult decisions to make.

If he had a wife and children some day, would it be fair to them for him to continue on as a soldier? If not, what skills did he have to offer the civilian world?

That question led him to think about college again. Would Mithril let him attend? If his high school grades were any indication, he likely would not do well on the entrance examinations. He always had so many extraneous duties… when would he ever have enough time to study?

It didn’t make too much sense to worry too much about the future. At least not today. He had his hands full just dealing with the current situation. He didn’t know whether or not Kaname might become a bigger part of his life down the road. But, if he screwed up now, that option might very well be erased.

What should he do? It would probably not be enough to simply refrain from blowing up the house or shooting the neighbors. Was there some way to show himself in a positive light? What characteristics might reassure or impress Kaname’s father?

Showing his own best skills was not an option. What about showing an eagerness to learn new skills? Was there something that Shunya was proficient at that would do Sousuke well to learn?

Yes.

There was.

He knew what he would do.

Eventually, there was the sound of tape being removed from his door. That was followed by a light rapping noise.

“Come in.”

Shunya stuck his head in the door. “I hope that you slept well. I am glad to find the house in one piece this morning. I will be fixing breakfast soon, if you are hungry.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Sousuke bowed his head. “May I ask something?”

“Proceed.”

“You mentioned yesterday that there would be guests at tonight’s evening meal. Kaname has mentioned that you are adept at gourmet cooking. Will you be employing such skills to prepare for the dinnertime repast?” Sousuke cursed himself for a weakling. He sounded like some waif begging for a crust of bread.

“Yes….” Shunya raised an eyebrow.

“Would it…uh… be possible for me to observe? I believe…ummm … that it might someday prove beneficial someday to have similar skills.” Good. There was a little more confidence in that request. Sousuke hoped that he didn’t sound like a suck-up or a total idiot.

“Perhaps. Would you be willing to commit to the entire process? It is not simple, and it will take some time. I have taken another day off today in order to make preparations. So….”

“Sir, yes Sir. I will not terminate the mission prematurely. No matter how difficult things become, or if my life is in danger!” Sousuke cringed. He had answered out of habit. He had snapped to attention. He would be type cast for life.

“Hmmm. I believe you will find my kitchen to be quite safe. At ease soldier.” Shunya took something from behind his back. It was his spare apron. “You will need this.” He held it out for Sousuke.

“Thank you, Sir.” Sousuke was taken aback. It appeared that Kaname’s father had a similar idea. Was that a good omen?

“After breakfast, I will take Ayame to school and drop Kaname off at the market with a grocery list. While we wait for her return, you and I shall begin initial preparations.” Shunya turned to leave.

“Will there be a briefing, Sir? Shall we discuss mission objectives? I will need to be instructed in the proper use of cooking machinery and necessary utensils. It would also be wise to learn the location of all exits and fire control equipment.” Sousuke spat out his words with military precision.

“Everything will be in order, young man.” He turned to give the younger man a purposeful look. “Your main goal will be to keep things that way.” Shunya left after that.

Sousuke put on the apron, to get a feel for it. The front displayed a Japanese artist’s rendition of a dove. The inside of the garment had a number of small pouches. Those would prove convenient.

He did a number of stretches to judge the range of movement allowed by his odd new uniform. While he did so, Kaname snuck in.

“Daddy just left and Ayame isn’t up yet.” She had intended to grab a quick kiss or a fierce hug. Instead, she stood there with a look of disbelief. “Oh my. Sousuke, how cute!” She snickered.

“Kaname?”

“Nice dress, Sousuke.” Kaname was in heaven. This would be an ideal occasion to get back at Sousuke. What for? She couldn’t remember. There HAD to be something!!!

“Or is that a kilt?” She picked up the front of the apron and looked underneath.

“It is an apron. I am certain you know what it is. It is NOT a woman’s garment.” Sousuke was caught in a clueless fugue. He should have known better than to argue.

“Would you like to borrow a pair of my shoes? I don’t think they’ll fit. A purse would just get in the way.” She walked over to one of her drawers. There were old things of her mother’s there. “We have eye liner… mascara… lipstick… rouge…”

Sousuke just stood frowning.

Kaname smiled, ran to him, and pulled his arms around her. “I’m just teasing you, you big moron. Are you going to be helping Daddy? That’s so wonderful. I’m certain he’ll get to like you more that way.”

“That was my plan. It appears that your father had come up with a similar idea independently.” Sousuke tugged his weapons bag out from under the bed. He pulled out a shotgun and a submachine gun and held them up. “Which is better for the kitchen?”

It was Kaname’s turn to stand mute. She was pretty sure he was just trying to tease her back. But….

“Sousuke Sagara!” Kaname shook her fist at him.

“It is not a problem.”

Kaname ran up and gave him a kiss. Before she knew it, Sousuke put both hands on her shoulders and pushed her to the other side of the room. Kaname was about to raise Hell.

Ayame peeked around the door. Sousuke pretended he didn’t see her. So did Kaname.

“I am surprised you sister is not awake yet, Kaname.” Sousuke spoke in a conversational tone. Ayame plastered herself against the wall outside the door. Sousuke gave Kaname a hand signal to proceed.

“Uh…yes, me too. After all the trouble she caused yesterday, she must be worn out.” Kaname put her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. This would be a good way to teach her sister a lesson. She would have to keep a closer eye on Sousuke. He was getting too crafty for his own good.

“What a shame. She is such a cute girl. I would guess that she is really very nice. Too bad she doesn’t seem that way. I was looking forward to spending some time with her. Now, I am too uncomfortable around her.”

“Yes.” Kaname gave Sousuke a big thumbs up. “Don’t tell her this, but Daddy told me he was going to send her over to stay with Mr. Smith if she keeps it up.”

“No one deserves that!” Sousuke paused. “Not even Mr. Smith.” He paused again. “I really hope she acts better. I wanted to get to know your family.”

After a brief bit of small talk, Sousuke and Kaname turned to look when Ayame walked into the room.

“Good morning, Sis. Good morning Sousuke. Are you ready for breakfast? I’m going to help Daddy.” The young girl’s voice was very sweet.

“That’s great, kiddo. I’d better go say ‘Good Morning’ to Daddy too, before he gets engrossed in his newspaper.” Kayame went off towards the kitchen.

When her sister was gone, Ayame looked up at Sousuke. “I’m not really that dumb, you know!” She looked somewhat angry. It must be a Chidori family trait.

“Good for you.” Sousuke said, pleasantly. He admired Ayame’s desire to stand up for herself. “But, it was only partly make believe.” He decided to be kind but blunt.

“What?”

“Will you sit a moment?” Sousuke waved his hand towards a chair. He sat on the edge of the bed.

“OK…” Ayame sat right next to Sousuke.

“I will tell you something. You know that I am a soldier. I have worked with many different types of men. There have been those who act in improper fashion when they do not get their way. Others cause trouble when they are not the center of a given operation.” Sousuke spoke quietly but firmly.

“Oh…”

“Most of those men end up transferred to less attractive positions or cashiered out of the service. Few ever gain their comrade’s trust. That is bad enough in times of piece, but can cost lives in battle. It is a shame and a loss. Do you understand?” Sousuke hoped that he could get his point across.

“Yes…”

“That is commendable.” Sousuke smiled.

“But… I’m a little girl, not a soldier!” Ayame smiled sweetly and ran out of the room. Sousuke shook his head and sighed.

Breakfast was delicious. Sousuke thought that he could get used to good food, even though it did not serve any particular purpose. He should have stayed silent.

“Mr. Chidori, Kaname could use some training too. Perhaps you could teach her to make early morning meals that taste as pleasant as this.” It had only been a suggestion. The look that Kaname gave him suggested that she would never cook him breakfast again. The gaze that Shunya gave him over the lowered newspaper clearly said that he better not be alone around Kaname in the early morning.

After that, he tried to turn his attention to his plate. Ayame and Kaname made that difficult.

The smaller sister started by dropping a piece of omelet down Kaname’s shirt. The older sister countered by plopping her biscuit on top of Ayame’s head. The jam with be the devil to get out of her hair. After that Kaname ended up with a bowl of cereal and milk in her lap. Just as Shunya was rising in his wrath, his eldest daughter turned to Sousuke.

“Sousuke, aren’t you going to protect me?” Kaname’s look gave him little choice, if he knew what was good for him.

“Negative.”

“WHAT?!” Kaname stood up, dripping.

“Breakfast time is for eating, not playing. You are not acting your age. The kitchen needs protecting, not you. You should set a better example for your sister.” Sousuke might be clueless at times, but he was not about to step into the middle of a family squabble.

“There may be some hope for you yet,” Shunya said seating himself once more, before bringing his newspaper back up.

“No, Sousuke. You don’t have any hope left.” Kaname was frowning. She picked up a bowl of miso soup in one hand and a dish of rice in the other. Tossing her hair, she began to walk towards Sousuke.

Something crashed through the glass parts of the open kitchen window, just barely missing Kaname’s head. It bounced across the floor, hit the center island, and spun about some.

There was a great blur. It was Sousuke. He knocked Kaname aside, not watching her fall onto her father. In a perfect motion, he was out the window and on his feet. Tires squealed as a car headed down the alley away from him. A number of people shouted in Japanese from inside the 80s model convertible..

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Rubber bullets all hit their mark.

C--R--A--S--H--!

The sound of a terrific impact could be heard as the driver lost control and his car slammed into a large telephone pole after running through a fire hydrant.. The horn sounded and showed no intention of stopping. Water fountained into the air. A hubcap came rolling back up the alleyway.

“No.. what… ahhh… nooooooooooo….”

“Arrrrrrr-aaaaaahhhhhh-oooooooooo….”

“Be quiet. You are not in pain. If you wish, I will show you pain. I do not suggest you struggle. It is best you keep your blood loss to a minimum.”

The last voice was without a doubt Sousuke’s.

Moaning could be heard growing louder. The sound of something being dragged up the alleyway could be heard.

“Ayame, move!!!” Shunya grabbed hold of his youngest daughter as she went to stick her head out the window.

After a few minutes, Sousuke’s head appeared at the window.

“Kaname…”

“Sousuke! Are you alright? You scared me to death, you big knucklehead.” Kaname ran over to see him. She kissed him, rules be damned.

“I am not injured. Please retrieve the smelling salts from my bag. The container will be labeled aromatic salts of ammonia. I wish to interrogate these men while they remain conscious, and before the local authorities arrive.”

“Soususke…”

“Do not open any of the capsules. While the constituent perfume may act as a stimulant, the ammonium carbonate will irritate the membranes of you nose and lung, causing your muscles of respiration to work faster than you might wish.”

“Sousuke…”

“Also, I do not suggest that you consume the material. It will have an unpleasant taste and could be toxic in large enough quantities.”

“SOUSUKE!!!”

“Yes, Kaname?”

“I love you.”

“Thank you, Kaname. The smelling salts?”

“Big idiot!”

There was the sound of running in alley. Spinning quickly, Sousuke saw Ayame. She was carrying a large flashlight.

“They use these in the movies to make people talk,” she said, a big smile on her face.

Sousuke sighed. “It is appreciated. You do not belong here. It might not be safe.”

Ayame pouted and turned on the flashlight. “Don’t be such a ninny. Nothing ever happens to little girls!” She looked down the alley and surveyed the carnage. A group of people were arriving on the scene, watching the great rush of water run down the street. “W-h-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-a….”

“AYAME CHIDORI. YOU GET BACK IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!”

Ayame looked at the groaning men… at Sousuke… back at the men… and then at the house. Wisely, she headed back inside.

The driver and the passenger were both of Japanese descent. There car had been filled with printed fliers and propaganda. Neither was in any condition to answer Sousuke’s questions. At Shunya’s behalf, Sousuke himself was not taken down to the station to give his report. The in cognito young soldier told the arriving police officers his side of story. They were very impressed by his attention to detail. He neglected to mention the use of a firearm.

“I retained a number of items that should help identify the culprits and provide possible motives.” Sousuke handed the printed materials to Shunya after the police had left.

“There is no need. This tells the entire story.” Shunya had kept the paper that had been wrapped around the brick that was thrown by one of the assailants.

The parchment smelled of fish. It was decorated with a symbol. A number of pro-whaling slogans were written there.

“This is not the work of a terrorist group. Those men are no doubt disgruntled fishermen who are upset at recent internation decisions on the environment. One U.N. committee I oversaw rebuffed Japan's bid to circumvent the International Whaling Commission, and rejected the country's attempts to open trade in certain stocks of Minke and Bryde's whales.”

“They did this because of some stupid fish?” Kaname stomped her foot.

“Kaname, whales are mammals. You should know that.” Sousuke replied automatically. It was a good thing he did not see Kaname’s face. Shunya did and shook his head.

“Were you instrumental in gaining the result that angered the men?” Sousuke wanted to assess the likelihood of any additional attacks.

“No. But, they may still think that the result means that I am a traitor to our country. Japanese officials proposed to downlist the northern hemisphere stocks of Minke whales and north Pacific stocks of Bryde's whales from Appendix I to Appendix II, going against rules which have banned commercial whaling since 1986. In the eleventh-hour, even before debate could begin, they asked to amend their proposals. The delegates had discovered that the wording used in the proposals would have allowed trade only between Parties to the IWC and would not have allowed a nation to export whales taken from waters outside its territory.”

“Sir?” Sousuke was perplexed. Kaname laughed, drinking it in. That was just the way that she felt when the otaku went off on one of his long-winded lessons on military strategy or the benefits of one type of weapon over another.

“For Japan, that was a particularly damaging error in wording, since the country kills most of its whales outside its territorial waters, and these are the whales whose parts Japan would want to trade. The Secretariat ruled against allowing Japan's amendment. There was little support. Even Norway spoke against the management provisions as "unreasonable and burdensome," and they are Japan’s biggest ally in whaling issues.

“So, even if you had been so inclined, there was nothing you could do?”

“Yes. I didn’t even have a vote. The proposals were opposed by the United States, Canada, the European Union, Australia, Fiji, Mexico, India, Monaco, Kenya, Chile, and Israel. Japan requested, and received, the ten votes needed to hold secret ballots on both proposals, but it lost both votes. I never expressed an opinion one way or another.”

“It is wise to remain vigilant, in any case. With your permission, I will assess the greatest security risks of the property and set up my surveillance equipment. I will sync it all to any small monitor you may have available.”

“Well, that probably will not be necessary.”

“The system may also curtail the mischief caused by a certain young lady.” Sousuke had tried to keep his voice down.

“I heard that!!!” Ayame’s voice came from somewhere in the parlor.

Shunya actually smiled. “I suppose there is no harm in setting up the system. It looks as if you are skilled in your profession. I suppose if one chooses to do something, they should be good at what they do.” It was the closest that Kaname’s father would come to thanking Sousuke for his actions.

Hearing the amplified voices of policemen directing traffic and firemen trying to shut down the water while they waited for the proper civic workers, he wondered if the young man’s actions might have been excessive. Perhaps not. There had been no way for him to know what the attack meant, or who was behind it.

“Affirmative.” Kaname answered for Sousuke.