FullMetal*Panic!

The room was well lit, but Sousuke still felt threatened by the things he couldn’t see. The quiet was unnerving, but he would have preferred remaining by himself. He was indoors, but somehow had the tingly feeling that preceded the arrival of a significant atmospheric disturbance. The odors were pleasant, but he knew all too well that there were a number of intoxicating scents that carried with them the kiss of Death.

He admonished himself under his breath.

It was only a kitchen. And he had been in plenty of kitchens before.

But, never alone with Kaname’s father. And, never feeling like he might be the thing that gets filleted, cleaned, pounded, and seared.

Looking at one open drawer, he saw an impressive collection of various knife types. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if he should place a lethal load in his pistol. Naturally, he realized he was in no danger. His normal instincts were going haywire.

It didn’t make any sense. He was a Specialist.

He had faced maniacs, biological weapons, advanced Arm Slaves, nuclear annihilation, and Cmdr. Mardukas.

What reason did he have to fear a gourmet cook?

The front door opened and closed. Sousuke moved like a ghost, barely placing any weight on the floor as he glided around corners and hid behind doors. The noise could indicate that Kaname’s father was back from dropping off Ayame at school and Kaname at the market.

It could also signal the presence of an intruder!

Smoke seeping under a door at night would have been more noticeable than the young soldier. He soon tracked down the source of the sound: it was Mr. Smith. The rotund man was clean shaven with a short haircut, clean clothes, an unwrinkled tie, and a black suit perfect for old G-man films. He was moving as silently as he could, peering around corners, his revolver in his hand.

Souske shook his head. He approved of the man’s renewed vigilance, but his movements were clumsy and he wasn’t checking his six. To test him, Sousuke reached inside a decorative planter and removed some stones. He threw them on the carpet at the bodyguard’s feet. The ex-cop never took any notice.

Next, he tossed a few off of a vase, the leaves of a large Philodendrum, and a hollow ceramic Raccoon Dog statue. Still no response from Mr. Smith. Breathing a sigh of exasperation, Sousuke walked silently behind the larger man, shadowing every move that he made. Once, when the ex-policeman made a quick 180, Sousuke danced easily behind him.

Satisfied that everything was fine, Mr. Smith lowered his gun.

“I am the only one here,” Sousuke said from directly behind him. He watched in awe as the heavyset man leaped a good foot in the air, then fell on his rump, shaking the Philodendrum and causing the Raccoon Dog to act like a pendulum for a few seconds.

“It’s a good thing I was being extra observant, you young rascal! Had I simply acted on instinct, you could have been in serious trouble….” He waved the gun in his hand.

“If the gun was loaded…” Sousuke said, deadpan.

“Well, yes. Of course.”

The front door opened and closed again. Mr. Smith blinked. Where had that young man gone?

Seeing that Shunya was home, Sousuke made his way back the kitchen. By habit, his eyes sought the best place to stand. There! That would provide the access to the most prevalent escape routes.

“There you are, Sousuke. Good. Ready and eager to go, I trust? Is Mr. Smith here yet?” Shunya put on his apron and started water running. He arranged a number of pots and skillets in his desired order.

“Affirmative, Sir. Also, that person is indeed here. He is approaching.” Sousuke’s fingertips on the counter detected an ever so slight seismic tremor in the counter top.

“I see. Before he arrives, let me say that one of your tasks here will be to keep him away from any and all ingredients, and to make certain he doers not imbibe any alcohol before dinner.” Shunya took a number of wooden skewers out of the water they had been soaking in.

“Understood, Sir!” Sousuke’s eyes lost their glaze of uncertainty. He placed his Glock on the work surface, a few inches away from large glass urns holding various spoons and ladles.

Shunya’s eyes were magnetically attracted to the gun. His eyes narrowed and his hands clenched. “Young man, you will not---”His voice began ascending an octave scale.

Sousuke nodded his head, bringing Shunya up short. “No. But you know that and I know that….” Sousuke left the rest of it hanging.

Kaname’s father looked shock, then sly. He surprised Sousuke by actually smiling. “Very good. I approve.” But just as quickly, a scowl appeared. “Just don’t give into temptation!”

“It is not a problem. Would a non-lethal approach be acceptable?” The question had Sunya gritting his teeth

“I notice that you have all the ingredients needed for a potent pepper spray. Cayenne or chili peppers could be juiced, the liquid placed in a blender with garlic and onions. The spun mixture could be boiled and mixed with vinegar and pickle juice, then boiled again. A fair range of Scoville units could be encompassed, depending on type and number of peppers. Any spray bottle would act as a delivery system.” Indeed, Sousuke could see some uses for a well-stocked pantry.

“I think we will have more than enough to cook,” Shunya rubbed his hair with one hand. He made certain he wasn’t dreaming. There was a young man in his kitchen discussing the manufacture of defense sprays from everyday items.

“Mission limitations understood and accepted.” Sousuke tried to sound cheerful and open to commands.

“Is everything a weapon to you, young man?” Shunya had his suspicions. Just how dangerous WAS Sousuke Sagara.

“Potentially. If the situations requires. Continued existence is a positive outcome.” Sousuke was glad to have an opportunity to show Kaname’s father that she was in good hands. It might be good to subtly show the man that he was well-equipped for the task.

“I see. Even something like these?” Shunya held up a pair of oven mitts. What could possibly be done with the silly looking fabric contrivances?

“Affirmative. Filled with gunpowder, they would make a good soft bomb, easy to situate under and in between things. Used in proper fashion, they would act as a silencer. Used to hold a slurry mixture, they could serve as a Molotov cocktail analog. Those are the things that come right off the top of my head, Sir.”

Kaname’s father just shook his head. Unbelievable. “Well, those won’t be needed here. As I said before, the kitchen is a safe place.” Shunya went to the refrigerator and began removing containers of various ingredients and food stuffs.

“Sir? That is only relatively true. We saw that last evening.” Sousuke was not being obstinate or contradictory. An unwarranted feeling of security had lead to the death or capture of too many people.

“What? That was a aberration, Sousuke. This is a safe and quiet neighborhood. We haven’t had any trouble here before that. You shouldn’t make a mountain out of a molehill.” Shunya decided that there were bits of wisdom he could pass along besides cooking tips. He would see how receptive the young man was to suggestions and facts that were at odds with his own beliefs.

“I do not wish to be argumentative, especially with one who is wiser than I am. However, it is more an issue of a mountain being a dormant volcano. Will it erupt? If so, when? It would be best to be prepared in advance.” Sousuke was curious whether or not Kaname’s father would be accepting of suggestions from an expert younger than himself.

“Still---”

“Pardon me, Sir. Have you had personal security training through the United Nations?” The drivers often did, but not the dignitaries. It was an egregious error, Sousuke thought.

“No, but---”

“Unfortunate, but rectifiable. Please continue with your task. Indicate anything you need me to carry, unwrap, or arrange. As you work, I shall give you the short course.” Sousuke decided on the points he wanted to make. It was an overly simplistic approach, but crucial for any beginner.

“You don’t have to---”

“That is kind of you. But, you are Kaname’s family. What is important to her is important to me. There are four basic tips that can help reduce the danger from any adversary you face.” When Sousuke spoke about Kaname, his eyes lit up. Shunya was an adept enough politician that he didn’t miss that fact.

Shunya was about to sternly tell Sousuke to change the subject. But, he decided not to. First, it would be instructive to see just how the young man’s mind worked. Second, it would give himself a chance to evaluate his grasp of common sense. If he was correct, Sousuke Sagara was the type who saw danger in every shadow, and rushed to remove any perceived danger without so much as a thought. Don Quixote with a gun and grenades, not a lance.

“Tip number one. Use your head. First, remain as calm as you can, so you can think as the situation unfolds. If you are calm… if you keep from panicking… your mind will process thoughts rapidly’ Second, and more literal, the human skull is an effective weapon. Which will be more effect, using a fist to an attacker’s face, or bashing one’s forehead in the same area? The latter. And, if one is grabbed from behind, do not pay attention to the glorified movies.” Sousuke did not judge Shunya Chidori to be the type of man who watched that type of film, but it never paid to assume too much.

Shunya worked at removing the cork from a bottle of red wine. He used his head for a living. It served enough of a purpose that way.

“Do not try an elbow to the abdomen or a stomp on an attacker’s toes. If they do anything, those attempts will anger your assailant. No, instead, hit his or her face with the back of your head.” Sousuke felt his throat going dry. He must learn to speak more, and in this manner, if he ever wanted to assume an instructors role in Mithril or some sovereign nation’s armed forces. That would be the type of job more suited to someone wishing to raise a family.

“May I have a drink of water, Sir?”

“Certainly.” Shunya actually found himself beginning to be drawn into the younger man’s lesson. There had been times in the city when he had felt threatened or at least uncomfortable.

“Tip number two. Always be certain to have something on hand that can be used as a weapon. I am not referring necessarily to knives, guns, mallets, or flammable substances. In the right situation, many things can be effective. It could be a pencil. Your house keys. A heavy bottle or can. A walking stick or umbrella. With whatever you choose, adhere to a pair of tenets. Hard and fast items are used for smashing against anything made of bone. Things with a point should be stabbed into soft areas such as the throat, groin, eyes, underbelly, armpit, etc.”

“OK.” Shunya was impressed despite himself. The boy’s presentation was succinct and to the point. There was no bluster or attempt to make things overly attractive to the listener.

“The third tip has to do with movement. It is always to your benefit that you not be hit. It is simple to say, but many people find it hard to do. Individuals move too often in straight lines, either forward and backward, or side to side. That may change your distance from the attacker, or alter the location of your centerline, but a single change will be easily compensated for.” Sousuke moved a salt shaker and pepper mill across the counter top as illustrations.

Two large fat blue bottle flies buzzed into the room through the newly repaired window. For the umpteenth time, Shunya reminded himself to buy a new set of screens. He stood slack-jawed a moment later. Sousuke had picket up a walnut and a Brazil nut from a nearby bowl. With quick flicks of his wrist, he pegged each fly and sent them down to the counter top, dead. One landed in a bowl of egg whites.

“Uh… my apologies, Mr. Chidori. But, the flies illustrated my point. Both approached on a decreasing vector, straight and simple to judge.” Sousuke grimaced as Kaname’s father poured the eggs into the garbage. “Umm… err… as I was saying, move instead along the lines of an imaginary triangle. That will change more than one factor at a time, diminishing the strength and effectiveness of the attack.”

“How many points are there, Sousuke? Should I cover the food while you speak?” Shunya brought a carton of eggs out of the refrigerator. His sarcasm was all too obvious.

“Sir…I… there is one more general tip. Always advance when you should retreat.” The point was apt. Sousuke felt like wiring his mouth shut and taping his arms to his side.

“Does that apply to the way one acts with girls, too?” Shunya spooned orange marmalade into a measuring cup. His one and quivered ever so slightly. No one other than Sousuke would have noticed.

“Um… I… only if they are assailants, Sir.” Sousuke was not so clueless as to miss Shunya’s true question.

“I see…” Shunya put the jar back in the refrigerator.

“During a fight… just like during a match of chess… an experienced individual will plan his second and third moves before the first move is even finished. “ Sousuke took another sip of water.

Shunya nodded his head. That point was well made. It was true of political debates as well.

“Furthermore, an experienced individual will use his moves to get his opponent to act in a manner of his choosing.” To Sousuke, that was the air he breathed. That skill had kept him alive on numerous occasions.

Shunya nodded again. At the very least, the young man was not an imbecile.

“When someone is being struck, the natural response may be to back off, away from the danger. But, that will give the advantage to the aggressor, and may even allow him to maneuver you into a corner or some other advantageous position. Instead, one should step forward… along the lines of the triangle… using whatever weapon is available.” Sousuke deftly tied a number of the defense tips together.

Shunya looked contemplative, considering the advice he had heard. “Is there a punch line, Sousuke?” Kaname’s father began sifting flour.

“Affirmative. It is all common sense, Sir. But, it is best never to have to use such tips. A smart person will not put himself in situations that will force them to test such truths.” Sousuke had tried to impart that fact to Kaname time and time again. But, she had the habit of reacting too quickly. Some people never learned.

Kaname’s father smiled. He couldn’t help himself. He had told Ayame and Kaname the same thing on numerous occasions. Still, the stories he had heard about Sousuke raised a question. Was his lesson simply an example of ‘Do as I say, not as I do?’

He used Sousuke’s accident with the eggs as a springboard to do some teaching in return. He taught the younger man about sizing eggs…grading eggs… judging the freshness of eggs… readily available species of eggs… cracking eggs one handed…and so forth.

“A good gadget for chopping eggs neatly and quickly?” He asked Sousuke.

“A machete?”

“No.” he stared at the young soldier for a while. “A pastry blender.”

A machete?

“A foolproof way of separating an egg?” He wondered what Sousuke would say this time.

“Detachable helmet liner or medium size air inlet grills?” Sousuke kept trying to limit his answers to household items, but his conditioned response was too strong. “I mean… uh…”

“Maybe in the field. In the kitchen, stand a small funnel in a measuring cup. Break the egg into the funnel. The white will slither through like a snake, but the yolk won’t. Tip the yolk out of the funnel into a bowl.”

“Ingenious,” Sousuke said. His mind immediately thought of possible military uses for the same trick.

“Now, let’s learn a bit about egg whites. Today, you will need to be able to judge when they are perfectly beaten. ‘Foamy,’ means they are silvery with many large bubbles; ‘soft peaks,’ means that the peaks lop over when the beater is withdrawn; and ‘stiff peaks’ means that they stand straight up.” Shunya looked Sousuke in the yes, trying to see if he was taking things seriously.

The younger man was scribbling things down on a pad of paper.

“If you have overbeaten eggs and they are too stiff, gently stir in one or two unbeaten whites to every five or six beaten whites. Or, add a few teaspoons of sugar and beat again briefly until smooth.”

“There are parallels for the mixing and molding of certain types of plastique,” Sousuke added helpfully, glad to be able to share his expertise. He looked down at his shoes when he saw Shunya scowl.

“Hey, gang! What you got ready?” Mr. Smith walked in with a grin and an appetite.

“I’m sorry, but there won’t be anything ready until supper time.” Shunya put the beaten egg whites aside and placed garlic cloves, parsley, and onions on a large maple cutting board.

“OK. I’ll settle for a beer or two.” Mr. Smith headed for the refrigerator. Sousuke stepped out to block his path.

“Alcoholic beverages are off limits until 1700 hours. Any attempts to remove them prior to that time will be considered an act of war.” Sousuke took out his combat knife and began sharpening it on the handy sharpening stone. Mr. Smith turned pale.

“I think I will go patrol the yard,” Mr. Smith said, leaving in a hurry.

Shunya was torn. The result was perfect. But, the young man’s reaction had been so smooth… so regular.

“Do you have any machine oil?” Sousuke asked, continuing to work on his blade.

“No. When sharpening knives on the stone, I lubricate with liquid dishwashing soap. It is non-toxic, and the soap also floats the steel particles so they can’t clog the stone.” Another trick of the trade.

Sousuke decide to try that hint out. It was always good to learn new things. But, he would not be asking the TDD-1’s chief mechanic for dishwashing soap.

“Now, I have your first task for you. It will take a little time, but I have all of the necessary items set out. The onions need to be chopped… the garlic needs to be crushed… and the parsley needs to be minced.” Shunya turned to pick up a garlic press.

WHAM WHAM WHAM

Zing Zing Zing Zing Zing Zing

Dop Dop Dop Dop Dop Dop Dop Dop Dop

“Finished.” Sousuke couldn’t keep the pride out of his voice. He looked perplexed when Shunya dropped the garlic press onto the floor.

Globs of mangled garlic fell off of the end of Sousuke’s knife hilt. The onion was in small ragged chunks, most of them sitting on or around the cutting board. The parsley flakes formed a thin green blanket over everything within a one foot radius.

“But….” Kaname’s father realized he should have spelled things out to a novice. Especially THIS novice.

“Have I judged incorrectly. While effective, an explosive device may have caused excessive collateral damage.”

Shunya closed his eyes. He counted to ten. He would have gone on to one hundred, but couldn’t hold his breath that long.

“Sosuske. Ingredients themselves are only a small part of a meals presentation. Flavor and appearance both depend on the care and manner one uses on each and every part. We use a press to get the proper consistency of garlic. We cut the onions neatly, by hand, or in chunks to gently pulse in the food processor. To keep parsley flakes from flying all over the place, place it in a cup or glass and snip it with kitchen shears. We do not…I repeat DO NOT… simply brutalize food with a small sword.”

“Duly noted sir. Perhaps I should watch at first. Intelligence is always half the battle.” Sosuke embraced the concept of discretion and valor.

“Exactly.” Shunya recited a quick Shinto prayer.

“But Sir… I should mention… this is a combat knife, not a sword.” Sousuke’s mouth had a will of its own. His brain was a step too late.

“Exactly. A combat knife. C… o… m… b… a… t…” Shunya looked to be struggling some with his temper.

Sousuke remembered Kaname and her lessoning. At least Shunya wasn’t smacking him on the head with a pointer.

“Hey, Sousuke. How about a Lite beer?” Mr. Smith looked in the kitchen window. Shunya grabbed a walnut and threw it at him.

“Ouch!” An exclamation was heard out in the alley.

“He moved in a straight line,” Shunya noted automatically.

Sousuke nodded, pleased.

For the next fourty-five minutes, Shunya taught Sousuke the basics of food preparation. Mr. Smith kept coming into the kitchen for ice to make cold compresses. Sousuke did not believe that cold beer bottle would serve the same purpose.

“So, Sousuke. Up to this point, have you ever had the opportunity to eat gourmet cooking?” Shunya was curious. Gourmet cooking was not just a hobby, it was a crusade. If he could, he would bring enlightenment to the heathens.

“No, Sir.”

“Just what DO you eat?” Shunya remembered his own teenage years. He shuddered.

“Well, on the submarine, I consume the meal of the day. It is usually adequate. The nutritional value is excellent. Taste is acceptable.” Sousuke tested the edge of his blade on a piece of newspaper. Perfect.

“But not good?”

“I have had little experience on which to judge it, Sir. Before Kaname began cooking for me on occasion, I have not understood that there was a purpose for food tasting good.” Sousuke’s life had not allowed him much time for eating in fine establishments. They do not exist in the jungles of Cambodia… wastelands of the Sudan… backwoods of Columbia….

“Ah. Does she cook for you late at night… early in the morning… at her place… and what does she wear?” The questions came out in a rush. Shunya cursed himself. He was a seasoned diplomat. Subtlety was his stock in trade.

He forced himself to meter his breathing.

“Sir?”

“Never mind. Taste is not a purpose, it is a pleasure and a privilege.” Shunya truly ascribed to that view.

“I will not disagree, Mr. Chidori, But, for me, it has often been the opposite. It was best to consider food to be food, and nothing more.” Sousuke stood at attention, ready for his next assignment. It would be the onions again.

“How?” Shunya’s eyes went wide. It was if he had heard blasphemy or sacrilege.

“As a child, after my parents and siblings were all killed by Russian soldiers, I was forced to live on my own. I would not stay in the Afghani orphanage. They were Hell.” Sousuke’s face went stiff.

Kaname’s father felt his ears ringing. His daughter had never told him about Sousuke’s past.

“Yes. If I was fortunate, I could steal fresh food from stalls or passing truck. Or, a good night would be one where I managed to find edible rubbish before the dogs or rats did. When I grew stronger and quicker, the dogs and rats themselves provided nourishment. Fresh meat was better than carcasses.” Sousuke still had trouble with the concept of pets, from time to time.

Sousuke worked at chopping some onions. He didn’t see Shunya go dead white.

“When I was taken into the mujahadeen camps, things were not all that much better, not even when I proved to be one of their better fighters. Again, I fought with the dogs for food. I ate why others found unsatisfying. Necessity taught me to identify edible flora and fauna. To gain better food meant accepting pity…acting like a slave… or fighting for it. Survival of the fastest and fittest.” Sousuke held up the onion. “I would have been beaten if they ever found me with something like this.”

Kaname’s father couldn’t imagine what Sousuke had been through. He didn’t know if he should sympathize with the young man for his plight and admire him for his resilience, or run in abject fear and horror, wondering just when he might snap.

“Even now, things are not much better.” Sousuke sighed. There was a downside to learning about food and taste.

“Why?”

“School food, Sir. I do not wish to speak about it. That is too terrifying. Also, in the field, I exist on MREs during short missions that go as planned. Their benefits are being portable, prepared, and packaged. Nothing more.”

“And in other missions?” Shunya hadn’t been taught about survival skills during his stay in the post-war Japanese military. The army had a different responsibility then.

“When the food runs out, I live off the land. Wilderness survival has as many rules as gourmet cooking, Mr. Chidori. Are you proficient in such things?” Again, it was something that Sousuke thought should be a given.

“Negative. I mean, No.” Shunya’s face was easily read---the look said ‘For heaven’s sake, why?’

Sousuke wasn’t surprised. Once again, he would show Kaname’s father that he was well-trained and self-sufficient.

“Never take a chance on a plant that you cannot identify. Depending on your activities, you can go for weeks without food, if entirely necessary. That is in contrast to water---you can die in as short as three days without water. A point to remember: it takes three times the amount of water to digest proteins when compared to starches and vegetation.” Sousuke had spoken to the Principal about having a survival course added to the Jindai curriculum, but she had said that donations only go so far.

“I see.” The caveats had no real usefulness in civilized society. The amount of water send down the Chidori toilet each day could keep Third World villages alive.

“Do not take a chance on mushrooms.” Sousuke pointed to a basket of mushrooms over on the counter. “Do not eat any plant with milky sap. It is best to avoid vegetation with any sign of spoilage, fungus, or mildew---they may contain harmful toxins.”

Sousuke picked up a carrot, looking at the attached greens. “Many people have been killed by wild hemlock, mistaking it for wild carrots and parsnips. As such it is best to avoid plants with parsley like foliage. One would be well advised to skip plants with bulbs or beans inside of pods… stems or leaves with a bitter or soapy taste… spines, hairs, or thorns… almond scent… grain heads with pink, purplish, or black spurs… and anything with a three leaf pattern.”

Shunya was not annoyed by Sousuke’s fountain of knowledge the way Kaname would have been. He was amazed at how much Sousuke knew… how much he needed to know just to survive. He was just a seventeen year old boy!

Or was he? That was his biological age. Just what went on inside that head of his???

“It’s probably just best to see what someone else eats. If they keel over, don’t finish up after them.” Mr. Smith had felt left out. He hovered at the fringe of the kitchen, looking at a broom handle Sousuke had laid out as a demarcation line.

Sousuke and Shunya looked at one another. Sousuke ignored Mr. Smith and gave a quick lecture on cooking plants, leaching certain nuts, and using tree sap for sweetening.

“You should just bring a bottle of Log Cabin with you,” the larger bodyguard claimed when Sousuke told about the value of maple, birch, walnut, and sycamore trees. “They have nice easy opening caps. Microwavable, too.”

Sousuke and Shunya both closed their eyes. It did not make Mr. Smith disappear.

“Mr. Smith, Kaname should be returning home soon. Could you keep an eye out for her on the street. She will probably need help carrying bags.” Shunya wiped his forehead when the portly man headed outside.

Sousuke went on to discuss animal sources of food while Kaname’s father began taking large numbers of ingredients out of cupboards, spice racks, drawers, crispers, coolers, and the refrigerator.

“Smaller animals are easier to prepare in the field. With relatively few exceptions, you can eat anything that crawls, swims, walks, or flies.” Sousuke read over a number of recipes as he spoke, peering at them intently, as if they were mission logs, weapons manuals, or repair manifestos. It was amazing, the things that Kaname’s father knew.

Shunya wasn’t certain he wanted to hear any more. But, he could afford to be polite. Depending on how things went, this might be the only real conversation he had with Sousuke.

“Insects are highly abundant and easily caught. One has to avoid adults that sting…brightly colored insects… anything with a pungent odor, particularly caterpillars… spiders… and any creature likely to harbor disease, such as ticks. Most things can be eaten raw. Anything with a hard shell can harbor parasites, so should be cooked first. Wood grubs may be bland, but there are species of ants that are rather sweet.” Sousuke went on to describe various insects.

Shunya was reminded of one of his fellow gourmets. He always spoke in that same tone of voice about fancy foods and his favorite recipes.

“Worms are an excellent source of protein. Freshwater crustaceans are suitable as well. Freshwater fish present no danger of poison, though catfish do have poisonous barbells. Freshwater fish must be cooked, to kill parasites. There is no problem with saltwater fish, but puffer fish, trigger fish, cowfish, trunkfish, oilfish, and red snapper all have body parts that contain toxins. Barracuda do not, but they mat transmit fish poisoning if eaten raw.” Sousuke decided that he did not need to go into detail about the adverse effects of ciguatera.

Kaname’s father had never viewed sushi as a survival food, and vowed he never would!!! It’s all a matter of perspective, he thought. It never hurts to see the world through someone else’s eyes. In small doses. He began to understand why Kaname had referred to Sousuke as an otaku in the past.

“Amphibians are easy enough to catch. Colorful tropical frogs and temperate toads should be avoided. Reptiles are a very good protein source. They should be cooked, but in an emergency can be eaten raw. Parasites that affect cold-blooded hosts usually do not cause serious disease in humans. But, one should not eat box turtles. They may look like a simple meal, but their diet is heavy on mushrooms, and they concentrate the toxin in their flesh. All bird species are edible, but their taste caries widely. Eggs….”

The mention of eggs made Sousuke think back to the present day.

“I apologize. I have spoken too much on irrelevant topics. I did not wish to bore you.” Sousuke wondered why he had said so much. Kaname would have covered him with lumps and bruises by now. Could it be that he was growing more comfortable around Shunya? Or, was he making the mistake of letting his guard down too much too soon?

“Don’t worry, I would have stopped you if our time was short. There is much to do, but we have all day. It’s nice to let someone else talk sometimes. Besides, everything you said was interesting. I hope I never ended up stranded… but if I do, I will have a better chance of getting out alive.” The diplomat in Shunya was in full swing. He would have serious withdrawals if he went for a single day without quality food!

An uninvited thought ran across his mind. He pictured Sousuke and Kaname at their wedding reception. The waiters were bringing out live animals. He almost cut himself while using a long sharp paring knife.

Over his dead body!!! There would be caterers, a famous chef….

No! What was he thinking??? Was THIS the man for his little baby?

After that, Shunya began to work in earnest on the night’s feast, passing along bits of advice and wisdom as he went. Sousuke, in turn, listened as hard as he could, trying to put some of his new skills to use.

“We need what Kaname is collecting to finish things up a number of dishes, and to get started on some of the main dishes. For the Toasted Clam Rolls With Cheese, I need you to open and clean the shellfish in the refrigerator.” Shunya never liked to have company while he cooked, but he was finding it useful to have an assistant.

Sousuke shuddered momentarily.

“Is something wrong?” Shunya had noticed the reaction.

“Negative. Not really. I have learned to avoid shellfish in the wild, with the exception of starfish and sea urchin. I have learned certain lessons the hard way. Many types of shellfish have times of the year where they emit toxins. Also, shellfish that pass the night without being covered by the tide are taboo.” Sousuke liked sea food in general, but stayed away from shellfish.

“Well, not to worry. These will be fine. As a caveat, if you buy fresh clams or oysters in shell, let them chill in the freezer for an hour or longer to make them easier to open and shuck.” It didn’t matter who was listening. Shunya liked to talk about cooking.

“I will, Sir!”

“By the way, some people view oysters as an…… aphrodisiac. Do you and Kaname eat oysters together?” Shunya had slid that one in there quickly, like a stiletto up under the ribs.

“Uh……… NO SIR!!!” Sousuke was sweating. He had nothing to hide. But, the idea of an aphrodisiac had him flustered.

Shunya wasn’t certain how to judge his reaction. Was he a naïve youth, or had he and kaname been doing things that sat heavily on his conscious?

“Of course, for a soldier, there are probably a lot of things they try, right? I mean, with a different girl in every port and a grateful lady after a successful mission….” Shunya disguised his question with a laugh. He began sorting through a small container of bean sprouts, throwing out anything that looked suspicious. He was eager to find out just how suspicious a character Sousuke was.

“Umm..errr…” Sousuke was blushing. “I wouldn’t know that, Sir. If I even thought about such things, Kaname would beat me to within an inch of my life.”

“Really?” Shunya wasn’t too pleased with the degree of closeness such an act might suggest. He was also none too pleased to hear any inference to bad temper or violent behavior on his daughter’s behalf. “Does she abuse you terribly?” The young man better be careful what he said about Kaname!

“Not really, Sir. I have been held captive in torture huts and underground bunkers. A halisen is nothing compared to that. Besides, I often deserve some form of admonishment. I hadn’t realized that before.” Sousuke gently touched the top of his head. It wasn’t sore today.

“But you do now? Why do you let Kaname treat you that way, in any case? Wouldn’t a calmer more considerate girl be to your benefit?” Another sly thrust. Shunya moved on to seed and slice a number of chilies.

“Negative. We understand one another. We care about each other. But, she has difficulty expressing her feelings sometimes. And, she has had to deal with difficult times in the past. You are aware of that.” Sousuke looked over at Shunya.

Shunya didn’t say anything. Family matter should stay between family members.

“There are times when she needs to vent.,” Sousuke continued. “It is better that she deals with her feelings instead of keeping them inside.” Sousuke stared at nothing in particular. His eyes had a faraway look.

“I have learned that myself lately. Being struck on the head is the least I can do for her.” Sousuke thought back to North Korea and the medicines he had taken. He shuddered, thinking about the way he was forced to deal with his own suppressed and repressed emotions.

“Yes. It’s better than drugs or tobacco, I suspect.” Shunya cleaned the small cutting board he had been using. “Neither you nor Kaname smoke, do you? Drink? Use drugs?” Shunya’s voice was flat. Overly so.

“No. All of those impede a body’s capacity to react. And, I will always have an aversion to drugs.” Sousuke’s hand curled up. He closed his eyes and chased away some memories.

“That’s good to hear. I’m glad the two of you have such good sense. By the way, what does Mithril think about having their agents develop an emotional attachment to their charges? I imagine that might impede one’s ability to react, as well.” Shunya tried not to smile. The opening had been too good to ignore.

“Well… they…”

“Where was I? Oh, yes. We will also need to slice the loaf of white bread thinly and prepare some melted butter. We’ll build the appetizer when the clams have thawed sufficiently. There is also work to be done on the Pear-Chicken Monte Cristo with Mozarella Sandwiches.” Shunya placed a bowl of pears in front of a slack-jawed Sousuke..

The younger man was given the task of coring, peeling, and slicing the fruit while Kaname’s father busied himself with the slicing of cooked chicken. The overabundance of chicken was not an oversight. There was Chicken Breasts al’ a Riviera to make later.

Shunya grunted, trying to open a jar of horseradish.

“May I try?” Sousuke took the jar.

“Wait a moment. Putting on a pair of rubber gloves or placing a fat rubber band around the lid often solves the problem. I have---”

“W-H-A-M-M-M-! Shattttttter.

“Uh. I believe I struck it to hard.” Sousuke had used the butt of his Glock. “It should be quite usable once I remove the glass fragments.”

“I………. have………. another ………. jar……….”

“Good. Then it is not a problem.” Sousuke nodded his head, relieved. Shunya’s face was clear proof that he thought otherwise. The gourmet suddenly knew what he wanted to talk about.

“While we work here, Sousuke… to save time as well as prevent unnecessary confusion… we should clean up and put utensils away as we go. An uncluttered work area lets you proceed more efficiently and cuts down on mistakes.”

“That is advisable. Mistakes often mean trouble in battle.”

“I imagine they are problematic at school too.” Shunya wiped his hands on a dishrag.

“Uh…”

“Let’s see. We should work on the Egg & Ginger Rice stir fry. I will need you to thinly slice some scallions. I will show you how to grate and chop ginger. Something to remember: to peel ginger easily, scrape the skin off with an edge of a spoon. If you freeze ginger first, it will be easier to grate. I would think that blowing up lockers at school would constitute a mistake.” Shunya didn’t look up.

Sousuke froze. That was a rather abrupt transition…scallions… ginger… explosions. He swallowed. There was an instructive parallel there that he doubted had been intended.

“Sir, it was. I was concerned about security. As the bodyguard of a Whispered, I am a potential target myself.” Sousuke began to sweat. He was all too aware of his personal list of past indiscretions.

“Of course. Of course. But, I should think that good judgment would be a necessary trait in a bodyguard.” Shunya placed an open recipe book under a clear glass tray to hold it open. He could still read the pages.

“After you finish with those items, I have some things I need done for the Shrimp & Peanut Pan-Fried Udon. The broccoli needs to be washed and stemmed. Tomatoes need to be drained and chopped. The rosemary needs to be finely chopped. We’ll need another two teaspoons of minced garlic.”

“Sir, yes Sir!”

“How does Kaname feel about such occurrences, Sousuke? I hope she didn’t find them funny or exciting.” Shunya began grating orange peel that would be needed later for Beef Brisquet with Burgundy Orange Sauce. He waited for the answer with baited breath.

“No, Mr. Chidori. She was quite upset, even more so when the student class President came to my defense and the Principal failed to take significant action.” This was definitely a topic of conversation Sousuke would have liked to avoid. But, any attempt to change the subject would be obvious.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that, at least. As I understand it, one week the school had a repair bill of 435,000 yen. I suspect that Mithril must have been paying for the damage, or had made some sizeable contributions to the school or high-ranking officials.” Kaname’s father was well-informed.

Sousuke began to wonder if he was trying to swim upstream against a strong current. Even so, swim he must. There was a figurative waterfall at his back.

“I’ll also need you to cut mushrooms in quarters. One pound should do. They should be washed first, but not in running water. Mushrooms act like little sponges. Take a wet clothe or moisten a clean sponge, then roll the mushrooms across them.” Shunya smelled the orange zest. It was a good familiar scent.

Lifting a basket of mushrooms, Sousuke had one fall out. It bounced across the floor. “Hmmm… almost looks like a rolling eye.” Sousuke would have smacked himself in the forehead if his hands weren’t full.

“Awww….” Shunya had accidentally skinned a small part of a finger tip. Putting it in his mouth, he tried to ignore that previous remark.

“Eh hem. I should have mentioned something about shrimp. They curl into a semicircle when they’re done. When tightly coiled, they are overdone. If you cook them in a neutral oil, the flavored oil can be used in a hot or cold vinaigrette sauce. I also heard that you tackled your teacher, and tried to flush a fellow student’s head in the toilet.” Once again, Shunya acted like a fighter keeping the sun to his back.

Sousuke was trying hard to remember all of the tasks he had been assigned. Being an Arm Slave pilot… and having been through numerous briefings... should have made that easy. However, Shunya’s questions were making it hard. He quickly began plucking mushrooms out of a pot of water he started rinsing them in..

“Sir, the first was an honest misinterpretation. I saw someone in possible concealment as Kaname was walking by. Also, at the time, the boy you mentioned was suspected of writing graffiti about Kaname in the Boy’s Room. For example….” Sousuke went on to give an eidectic recounting of the things he had seen.

Shunya banged his head on a rack of hanging skillets. He had never done that before.

“It turns out that his distraught girlfriend was the culprit. But, he had been harassing Kaname---I put a stop to that. There were no explosions or bloodshed, Mr. Chidori.”

“Commendable… if somewhat uncommon… right?” Shunya tried to corral the swinging skillets. They clanged together like a set of noisy church bells.

The noise had attracted Mr. Smith. “Guys. Could I trouble you for an early lunch?” he patted his belly.

“NO!!!” Both Shunya and Sousuke had answered at the same time. Shunya shook a skillet in his hand.

“OK. Keep up the good work then. Oh, by the way… I saw Miss Kaname coming up the sidewalk. She should be here any moment. Keep her out of the parlor, if you can. I called in and ordered the Playboy Channel for the afternoon.”

Shunya started walking forward, but stopped at the broom handle. “That man…” He hung his head, mumbled a few words, then was fine again.

“I do not wish to speak out of place. I trust that he has served well in the past. He does not act in a professional or comforting manner.” Sousuke felt obligated to finally speak on his observation.

“He was instrumental in helping my fiance in the past. She owes him a debt of gratitude. While we are on the subject, I am very curious to know how an entire high school found itself naked or nearly so. Not a common occurrence, I would think.” Shunya’s voice carried a touch of anger. It was not only because of the large bodyguard.

For a moment, Sousuke pictured Cmdr. Mardukas’ face on Shunya. A mushroom shot away from his knife and landed in the egg whites.

“I had ordered some necessary equipment, Sir. My arms supplier made a mistake and mailed a different item. While I was calling him to determine its nature, a classmate thought it was my thermos and consumed the contents. I was concerned that it was a deadly virus, and quarantined the entire classroom to prevent further spread.” Sousuuke straightened his back. How could ANYONE find fault with that?

Shunya felt a chill go down his spine. A high school student was talking about his arms supplier.

“Mob mentality took over when a teacher opened the door. The other students ran about the school, spreading the Full Monty bacteria.” Sousuke was sweating. He had barely survived the ire of his classmates and the subsequent punishment from school officials.

“I see. The reports were correct, I take it. Clothing disintegrated? Entirely?” Shunya was being extremely careful with the knife he had started using.

“Affirmative.”

“And… did you… happen to see………. Kaname naked………. did her clothes melt away, too?” Shunya turned, knife in hand. Sousuke was reminded of the look the janitor had when he learned that Sousuke and Tsubaki had killed and cooked his treasured carp.

“Uh….” Sousuke’s Fight or Flight mechanism was screaming for his attention. He knew his face was turning red. He remembered telling Kaname to take off her clothes. She had been sitting behind a privacy curtain, naked as could be. His thoughts and intentions at the time…

“Daddy… I’m back….” It was Kaname. Sousuke was so rattled, he hadn’t even heard her enter the house. “I got everything you needed. I had to buy a few different types of olive oil, not knowing which you wanted.

“Hopefully they are ‘Extra Virgin.’” Shunya looked at Sousuke when he said that, not Kaname.

“Of course, Daddy. You taught me well.” She knew that Extra Virgin oil was the best for salad dressings or pasta; for greasing pans, cheaper varieties were good enough. She smiled. The two men were working in the kitchen. Nothing looked damaged. Neither seemed injured. It must have been a great time for bonding.

“I hope so. For Sousuke’s sake.” The knife zipped through chicken as if there were nothing there.

“Uh…” Sousuke blinked repeatedly. His eyes were on the knife.

“Daddy?” Kaname looked at her father… then at Sousuke… and wondered just what was going on.

“It’s nothing, pumpkin. We’re both very busy now. Why don’t you take a moment to relax, maybe watch some TV? Ayame’s room could use some straightening up, too. We want everything nice for our company tonight.” Shunya had been distracted himself. He forgot about Mr. Smith’s proclamation.

Kaname left the kitchen humming a happy tune.

“Sir?” Sousuke asked. He hadn’t forgotten.

“Back to the subject of that bacteria. Did you---”

“Sir, the TV set. Mr. Smith….” Sousuke blushed.

“What? WHAT?!!” Shunya dropped the knife and hurried towards the parlor. Too intent on his destination, he began to run… tripped over the broom handle… and slid into the parlor.

Sousuke stared. It was as if he kept putting the cold blade of a knife against the back of his own neck.

“You sly dog, Mr. C. No reason to try and sneak in. You can watch this with me and let the boy do all the work.” Mr. Smith chuckled and looked over at the archway leading to the hallway. “You can too, Miss Kaname. Better to learn some things from a professional performer, than some punk on the street.”

Kaname’s eyes nearly fell out of her head. She blushed. Then she had a wicked idea. Sousuke had spent all morning peacefully. He might need something to make him sweat a bit… keep him in line. She stepped away from the opening and skipped back into the kitchen.

Shunya grabbed the remote and removed the batteries, throwing them out a window. He unplugged the television set.

While her father lectured Mr. Smith, Kaname sashayed over to a sweating Sousuke. “Want to take a break and watch some TV, soldier?” She played with the top button on her blouse.

“Uhhhhhhhhh……”

Kaname had only seen that look on Sousuke once before: it had been when he had flipped Cmdr. Mardukas at Jindai, thinking he was a pervert who had frightened a locker room of girls.

“Kaname. I think I need to be extracted from the battlefield. The situation is approaching critical.” Sousuke looked off towards the parlor. Shunya would be returning any moment now. His mood would not be improved. No. Probably quite the opposite. “If I call, it is possible that helicopters could be commandeered…”

“Relax, you big idiot. I was only joking. Besides, what kind of trouble can you find in a kitchen?” Kaname gave Sousuke a quick kiss.

“I’M BACK….” Shunya’s voice was still somewhat loud. “WHERE WERE WE….”