[FIC] 'Carpe Diem'
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004 9:35 pm
(A/N: Okaaay, I think I'll use that eBay courage from Sgt. Sagara Sousuke and actually post this. It was written as a challenge back at the end of January in a drabbling community on Livejournal: http://www.livejournal.com/community/dr ... /2451.html. I suppose it departs from canon, as I'd yet to read the novels at the time I wrote this. I still think it was a really stupid idea to start out writing for FMP with Sousuke's POV, and I'm not at all happy with this piece, short as it is, but I guess there's nowhere to go but 'up'...)
Carpe Diem
"How long will you be gone this time?"
She has that look in her eyes again, that same indescribable look of sadness that somehow cuts deep into my soul without my understanding why. I can barely even hear her words over the helicopter's whirring propellers, but all I have to see is that pained stare, and there's this oddly sharp pain in the pit of my stomach that rivals every battle wound I've ever received.
"I...I don't know," I manage to answer, diverting what are surely guilty eyes from her face. I don't understand these feelings that she evokes in me. Above all else, she is my charge, and I have sworn upon my life to protect her, as is dictated by my superiors. But the threat has at this point been neutralized; she is now free to go about her daily life without fearing daily terrorist threats as I and my comrades do. Thus I have done my duty, which normally grants me a feeling of true satisfaction. Today, though, with the thought of finally leaving her…
I never knew any different. My entire life has been one of solitude and single-mindedness; there was no room for emotion. Without even trying, she’s single-handedly changed my life. Can I go back to that old life with the possibility of never seeing her again?
“Sergeant, we’re ready for take-off!”
I remember what the Major once told me, back when I was still young. I had yet to fully understand the concept behind our fighting and had questioned a recent attack that our group had carried out. “Sousuke,” he said, “sometimes you don’t have any choice. When the opportune moment presents itself, you seize it. ‘Carpe diem’.”
I want to seize it.
“Sergeant!”
She utters a quiet gasp as I quickly pull her to me, pressing my lips firmly against her own. I don’t understand these feelings; all I know is that I don’t want to live without her by my side. I don’t want her to be able to continue on with her normal life when I know that mine will never be the same again.
But I am a soldier. I have no choice in my assignments, and I will not forsake my duty. All I can do is assure her of my feelings in the only way I can. And so I close my eyes and lean into the kiss.
After a few moments we break apart, her eyes wide and questioning. “S-sousuke?” she manages to ask in a slightly dazed voice.
“I will return to you, Chidori,” I say stiffly, once again slipping back into my military composure. With a quick nod to the increasingly impatient pilot, I board the small aircraft and am once again disappearing from her life.
I can make no promises. After all, my life is one of fatalities and daily dangers lurking in every corner. I may never see her again. But at least now she knows what these feelings are, and perhaps she will be able to decipher them.
‘Carpe diem’. What an invaluable strategic concept.
Fin
(Okay, C&C welcome. I've been writing for ages, but this fandom sure knocked me for one hell of a loop.
)
Carpe Diem
"How long will you be gone this time?"
She has that look in her eyes again, that same indescribable look of sadness that somehow cuts deep into my soul without my understanding why. I can barely even hear her words over the helicopter's whirring propellers, but all I have to see is that pained stare, and there's this oddly sharp pain in the pit of my stomach that rivals every battle wound I've ever received.
"I...I don't know," I manage to answer, diverting what are surely guilty eyes from her face. I don't understand these feelings that she evokes in me. Above all else, she is my charge, and I have sworn upon my life to protect her, as is dictated by my superiors. But the threat has at this point been neutralized; she is now free to go about her daily life without fearing daily terrorist threats as I and my comrades do. Thus I have done my duty, which normally grants me a feeling of true satisfaction. Today, though, with the thought of finally leaving her…
I never knew any different. My entire life has been one of solitude and single-mindedness; there was no room for emotion. Without even trying, she’s single-handedly changed my life. Can I go back to that old life with the possibility of never seeing her again?
“Sergeant, we’re ready for take-off!”
I remember what the Major once told me, back when I was still young. I had yet to fully understand the concept behind our fighting and had questioned a recent attack that our group had carried out. “Sousuke,” he said, “sometimes you don’t have any choice. When the opportune moment presents itself, you seize it. ‘Carpe diem’.”
I want to seize it.
“Sergeant!”
She utters a quiet gasp as I quickly pull her to me, pressing my lips firmly against her own. I don’t understand these feelings; all I know is that I don’t want to live without her by my side. I don’t want her to be able to continue on with her normal life when I know that mine will never be the same again.
But I am a soldier. I have no choice in my assignments, and I will not forsake my duty. All I can do is assure her of my feelings in the only way I can. And so I close my eyes and lean into the kiss.
After a few moments we break apart, her eyes wide and questioning. “S-sousuke?” she manages to ask in a slightly dazed voice.
“I will return to you, Chidori,” I say stiffly, once again slipping back into my military composure. With a quick nod to the increasingly impatient pilot, I board the small aircraft and am once again disappearing from her life.
I can make no promises. After all, my life is one of fatalities and daily dangers lurking in every corner. I may never see her again. But at least now she knows what these feelings are, and perhaps she will be able to decipher them.
‘Carpe diem’. What an invaluable strategic concept.
Fin
(Okay, C&C welcome. I've been writing for ages, but this fandom sure knocked me for one hell of a loop.
)
I like it. 
)