[FIC] Endings and Beginnings (part 1)
Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 7:19 pm
A/N:
This story may deviate from canon, if such a change is necessary for plot particulars.
Of note, this story uses the framework of the movie ‘Say Anything’ as a starting point. Many common happenings are borrowed, as are some lines and some general concepts.
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“There will be a ceremony. Otherwise, it will simply be another night”
Sousuke sat with his friends aboard Da Danaan. The group of SRT members and submarine crew were observing one of their post-mission rituals: black coffee and steaks. Unlike them, he chose a glass of ice water and a protein bar.
“Come on, Sousuke! You’re graduating in a few days. A number of years ago, and you never would have guessed that you would be going to high school at all.” Kurz dumped a whole jar of sugar into Melissa’s cup while she was busy shouting for another steak.
“Shit. You should be feeling happy, if only because they let you finish. As it was, Amalgam took out the whole school, right?” Melissa exchanged cups with Kurz. “It was no secret why they did it. Just the same, they let Kaname return, and you with her.”
“And you should be proud of what you accomplished, Sousuke.” Tessa walked over and pulled up a seat. She didn’t usually join the team for their meal, making it a habit to head back to the bridge or her cabin after debriefing. “The grades you got in your courses were real ones. Mithril’s money and influence did not buy those.”
“I don’t think there was enough money left in the Finance department, after they paid off all of Sousuke’s damages!” Kurz’ comment had everyone but Tessa and Sousuke laughing or smiling.
“The teachers and students who originally ridiculed you or avoided you, they all seemed to come around after they realized who you really were, and how you had risked your life for the city, right?” Tessa said, making a face at Kurz. As usual, he was not helping matters.
Sousuke didn’t answer. He knew that Tessa would not like the words that had been on the tip of his tongue. More than anything else, he had fought for Kaname. Had fought and lost, at first. It had taken much more fighting and many more lives to win that war, gaining her back in the process.
“You really are leaving on a pretty good note, aren‘t you?” Melissa stuck her knife into the table top when Kurz tried another switch. “A much better note than the one you arrived on, any way.” She smiled, remembering many of the trials and tribulations Sousuke had faced, trying to fit in with normal teenagers. The picture of him handcuffed to a metal folding chair never failed to bring a smile to her face.
“Yes,” Sousuke ran his hand through his hair. He was exhausted. It had been a particularly grueling mission, and he hadn’t managed more than two hours of sleep per night for the past week. “I suppose that is correct.” He rubbed his eyes. His last days of school were coming up. It would be best if he didn’t sleep through them.
“You suppose?” Kurz laughed. “When you got back to school…” Kurz skipped a beat when he saw the painful look on his friend’s face. Sousuke had more accurately gone back to class. The students were using a large warehouse as their meeting place, while the remnants of Jindai High School were being bulldozed down and a new structure was breaking ground. “When you went back to class, they stopped looking at you as the freak with a fetish for guns and bombs. They knew who you really were, and they thought you were cool. Didn‘t they?” He chuckled wickedly. “From what I hear, you could have had any girl you wanted, heh heh heh heh.”
Tessa gave Kurz another rude look before realizing what she had done. Looking away, she pretended to read the mess menu just hung up on the wall by one of the cooks.
“But, there is a girl on your mind, is there not?” Lt. Clouzot smiled and nodded his head knowingly. He had run afoul of Kaname Chidori’s forceful side on a number of occasions, but had no doubt that the girl had a soft spot for a certain young SRT member. “How is Miss Chidori treating you, by the way? I didn’t notice any new scars when you were putting on your combat gear.” He was also certain that Sousuke benefited from having a hard head.
“She is being difficult. Her actions make no sense.” Sousuke frowned. Something as complex as Arbalest, he did not fully understand. That was OK. No one did. But, other people seemed able to understand human behavior. It bothered him that he did not.
“So, are you ever going to actually ask her out on a date?” Kurz grinned. “Or are you just going to get her drunk after graduation and have your way with her. Heh heh heh heh owwwwwww….” The long-haired sniper grimaced when Mao clobbered him with a large porterhouse stake, medium rare.
“Another steak over here, Cookie!” Melissa dropped the damaged cut of meat on Kurz’ lap. “Sousuke, you and I both know that the you and Kaname have strong feelings for one another. I hope that you also realize that Kaname has been through a lot. After everything that happened, she might feel that she betrayed you somehow. If not, she might still feel that she is responsible for some of the things that happened to you.”
Tessa watched Sousuke intently, but said nothing. She almost wished that Sousuke would give up on Kaname. But, she told herself that she should be happy that he returned to Mithril. No one had been overly surprised when he had disobeyed orders, striking off on his own to rescue Kaname. That action hadn’t cost Mithril the war, but under different circumstances, it could have. But, just when things looked bleak… as smaller rogue groups took to looking at Mithril as if it were a wounded animal on its last leg… he had returned when they needed him most.
“I do not blame Kaname for anything. I have told her that. There is no reason that she should not believe me.” Sousuke unwrapped a second protein bar and sat staring at it. “I have also apologized. She chose to go with….” Sousuke looked over at Tessa. He did not need to speak her brother’s name. “She was taken away, because my partner and I failed.” The partner he referred to was the A.I. in Arbalest. “I fought my hardest. I have told her that as well.”
“Women are very complex.” Master Machinist Jorgensen gave a brisk salute to Tessa and Melissa. “No, let me amend that. People are complex. Her head may hear one thing, but her heart believe another. That kind of thing happens all the time.“ He pushed a long lock of blonde hair away from his eyes. He had learned that truth any number of times before joining Mithril. His heart was spread across many ports, from Rotterdam to Cape Town. “If not that, she may have made a decision about you that she cannot put in words… or cannot bring herself to tell you.”
“Good or bad,” Lt. Clouzot added.
“I understand.” Sousuke broke off a piece of his food and tossed it about in his hand. There were things he did not want to think about at the moment. Pushing those thoughts aside, he took a more optimistic stance. “I have done some thinking. What do you all think. Would the movies be a good second date?”
“Yes,” Tessa blurted that out, picturing herself arm in arm with Sousuke, strolling towards some cinema. “But… well… did you ever really have a first date?” She rubbed her fingers together under the table. She blushed when she saw Melissa glance knowingly in her direction.
“Affirmative. We did. When I returned after the final conflict, and she returned to Tokyo, she instructed me to join her at a restaurant. We ate food together. We spoke about each other’s experiences. It was a physical event. It was also an emotional event. As such, I would consider that occurrence to be a date“ rubbing his eyes, he felt compelled to clarify further. “While many of our other times together had emotional or physical components, I do not consider them dates.”
“Hah! You got that all wrong Sousuke old buddy!” Kurz smiled. “Any girl would consider that time in Khanka a date. Or, that bit aboard the cruise ship. Not to mention that fun time when Gauron hijacked the sub, or the wonderful day when you brought that Full Monty Virus to class.”
“That wasn’t a date, draugas.” Lt. Valkovic ignored the nonsense that Kurz was spouting. Shaking his head, he sighed. Relatively new to the Special Responses Team, the Lithuanian born commando was still getting used to the walking conundrum known as Sagara, Sgt. Sousuke. He had become fond of the younger soldier, but, Sousuke’s inexperience and naivete regarding women set his teeth on edge. “That was more like a meeting. At most, it was going out as friends.”
“What is a date, then?” Sousuke wrapped his hand around his glass but didn’t drink.
“A long shower. Nice new clothes. Cologne. Fine food. A place alone. Kissing. Your hands on her breasts. Better yet… ouch… will you stop doing that!” Kurz glowered at Melissa who feigned innocence after stomping hard on his foot.
“A date is a pre-arranged get together,” Sgt. Yun said. A very serious man of few words, he felt comfortable around Sousuke, who acted in similar fashion. “But, it is more than that. It should have the possibility of leading to love.”
Tessa dropped her knife. It hit her plate, making a loud noise. She hurried to pick up the utensil, feeling her face grow warm. She thought about excusing herself, but felt that such an act would be cowardly. “Love,” she whispered to herself. “I wish I knew what that felt like….” She couldn’t help but sigh. In a way, she could guess what it was like. She remembered how she had felt, and what she had fantasized about, back when Sousuke had saved her during the Pacific Christmas incident.
“Crap.” Melissa’s plate shook as she worked fiercely to cut her steak. “I’ve been on too many dates to count. I definitely do not go looking for love. What is love, anyway?” She laughed. “We could talk all night, and never agree on anything!”
Kurz looked at Melissa with a look akin to sympathy. She saw it, and looked away angrily. Tessa lowered her eyes, having listened to a drunken Mao talk about her life on numerous occasions. Kurz shed his playboy person for a moment. He sat tapping his fork against his plate, thinking about his own life. He looked over at Sousuke, wondering if his friend was destined for a similar existence. He had given his heart away once, and had been burned for it. He didn’t want to think about his girlfriend, her illness, or the doctor that she ran away with.
Other Mithril soldiers spoke up, defending the idea of love. Sousuke was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to pay attention to what everyone said. When there finally was a moment of silence again, he said “I will ask Kaname out on a date.” He set his jaw, a faraway look in his eyes. “I owe her a great deal. And… we…” He closed his mouth, reticent to describe the unspoken feelings he had for a blue-haired girl.
“It’s not about debt and obligation, mon.” Sgt. Wailer yawned, and then shook out his long braided hair. “Hell. No woman is going to want that. Not even drunken Mao.” He had to duck when a salt shaker came flying towards his face. “If you’re after love and not just sex or friendship… you better let her know that you care.”
“I am certain that she knows that already.” Sousuke sat up straighter. “I believe that she cares as well. We have never put things into words. That does not negate the feelings, does it?”
“Damn straight.” Sgt. Estrella laughed. “Words just get in the way. If you really want to show her that you care, give her a good bouncing on the bedsprings. If she cries out your name, that’s as good as love.”
“Oooooooh, Sousuke…” Kurz imitated Kaname. “You’re sooooo big.” He grinned, seeing the look on Tessa’s face. “Oh… ohhh… ohhhh… Sousuke… Souuuuus-kaaaaay… you big idiot…” He moved his foot instinctively, just in time. Melissa had put a lot of force into that stomp. “Ohhhhhh… Sousuke… you big jerk… harder….” He noted a number of guys laughing, spurring him on. “Ohhh… don’t you stop… don’t ever stop… Soooo… ussss… kayyyyyyyyy… ohhh ahhh… you big stupid head…”
A number of guys slapped the table. Sonar officer Chen, a lovely slender woman of Korean descent, turned to speak to Dr. Lucy Osler, the TDD-1’s new doctor. “He is such a drama queen.” Her comment regarding Kurz had Melissa slapping the table top.
Sousuke looked down at his hands. His fingers were interlaced together. Strange. He didn‘t remember doing that. “Captain, is this true? Do girls equate sex with love?” Sousuke twitched. “If so….”
“Eeep!” Tessa tensed up. Her reaction clearly said ‘why are you asking me?’ Struggling to maintain her composure, she tried to answer in a high-pitched voice. “Well, no, I don’t think so….” She stopped, feeling foolish saying that, never having any experience with dating, much less intimate relations.
“If it did, Mao would be in love with half of the Pacific Branch…” This time Sgt. Wailer reacted too slowly. A pepper shaker careened of his head, landing a few tables over.
The overhead speaker system came to life. Cmdr. Mardukas requested Tessa’s presence on the bridge. The young silver-haired girl looked relieved when she left the table.
“No, Sousuke.” Melissa stood up, walked over, and took the seat that Tessa vacated. “People in love often have sex. But, many people having sex are not in love.” Her face went very serious. “I think you’re wrestling with a bigger issue, aren’t you?”
“Affirmative.” Sousuke was silent for a moment, ignoring the banter that broke out amongst his fellow soldiers. “I do not think that I am worthy of someone like Kaname Chidori.” He felt a sense of gratitude when everyone at the table tried to talk him down. “Perhaps my statement is not entirely true. However, I have doubts that I would be good for her.” Sousuke didn’t go further and say ‘I wonder if I would be good for anyone’, even though he was thinking that. “If a day came when I was no longer needed to protect her…”
“Well, she is the brainy sort, and you aren’t the sharpest sword on the rack.” Estrella shrugged when some of the others took offense at that. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it? They are somewhat of an odd pair.”
“You are far to prone to violence, Sousuke.” Kurz made a ‘tsk tsk‘ noise as he shook his head.. “Not the type of guy that a sweet… quiet… reserved girl like Kaname deserves.” Kurz winked. “On the other hand, at least she knows that you can take a beating. She might kill a few guys before finding someone else like you!”
“Don’t forget one thing.” Clouzot spoke in a very stern voice. “While a lot of the nonsense that took place at the school when you first arrived was your fault, the really bad stuff that followed was because of her. She’s still Whispered. Just because Amalgam has been put in their place doesn’t mean that someone else won’t pick up the baton, comprendre?”
“ That’s right.” Said, grinning. “If what I hear is true, the one at risk is you.” He still wanted to see what a halisen looked like. The paper fan figured greatly in some of the stories he had heard. “No. The real danger exists for whatever place you stay, or whatever people the two of you hang around.” Knowing what he did, he was only half joking. The burly man was well aware of the situation with the Whispered. His sister was one. That was one of the reasons that he had joined the organization
“Hah! You got that right.” Jorgensen chuckled. “I heard about your adventures at that school. You two do not belong in a civilized country. It is a wonder that the Princpal… no, the Japanese government… didn’t banish you long ago. Perhaps you should buy some jungle property in Africa or South America… build a sturdy shack… and start your own little tribe.” He touched glasses with Sgt. Wailer.
“Not a good idea,” Kurz said, pursing his lips. “The rain forests are endangered as it is. What might happen with a bunch of little Sousuke’s and Kaname’s running loose?”
“That might not be so bad, all things considered. While Kaname Chidori might be bipolar and too unpredictable for my tastes, you could certainly do a lot worse. She is one fine looking young lady.” Sgt. Estrella blew a kiss towards the ceiling. “She’s got the brain of an intellectual, trapped in the body of a runway model or game show hostess.”
“I also think that you could also do a lot better.” Jorgensen spoke seriously this time. “Believe me, it doesn’t hurt to have some stability in your life. If you leave the service again, it might be nice if he could cuddle up with some quiet little piece of fluff.” He tugged at his scraggly beard. “Some little lady that doesn’t have a bulls-eye on her back.”
“He’s got a point, you know.” Sgt. Wailer said. “The girl is quite a looker… but there are other beauties out there. There’s one in the room right now. Mao probably gets wet ever time you step out of your A.S. suit.” He didn’t flinch when he saw Melissa’s glare. He held the only other spice shaker at their table. “I know that the two of you have been through a lot together. But, she’s your first girl. The only one that you let yourself care about. Maybe even the only one who ever paid you much attention. You shouldn’t let something like that cause you to make a choice you might regret.”
“I think you assholes have said enough.” Melissa stood up and put her foot on her chair. He hands went to her hips. Tossing her lit cigarette at Wailer, she spoke in an uncharacteristically maternal manner. “Sousuke’s confused enough as it is.”
“Lighten up, Sis.” Kurz pushed his plate away from him and stood up. “They’re just trying to look out for Sousuke. Nobody wants to see him get hurt.”
“I have been hurt on numerous occasions,” Sousuke stated, standing himself. “It is not a problem.” He was not as confident as he sounded. The words of his comrades had gotten him to thinking.
He didn’t know just what would be best for Kaname, or for himself.
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The rental car was caught up in traffic.
“It’s a good thing that we left early. We wouldn’t want to be late to your graduation.” Shunya Chidori steered around an illegally parked car. “Your speech sounds like it’s coming along well.”
“Daddy!” Ayame sat in the back seat, dressed in a lovely cream-colored dress. The look on her face was far from pretty. “I’ve already heard it about a bazillion times.” She spoke in English, not knowing the Japanese word for ‘bazillion’.
“Well then, I guess I should start over from the beginning.” Kaname grinned, giving her sister a quick smile. “’Well, it’s almost over now…’” She shook her head. “No, that part still doesn’t sound right.”
“Told you!” Ayame turned up her nose.
“Well, I don’t know. It sounds alright to me.” Shunya shrugged. “In any case, as long as you speak from your heart, things should go fine. I know that your mother would have been very proud. Kaname Chidori, Valedictorian of Jindai High School. Accepted at Tokyo University.”
There was a slight catch in the bespectacled man’s voice. Kaname had grown adept at subtle cues. Her father had his heart set on her coming to America with him. He had coerced her into applying to a number of colleges relatively close to his and Ayame’s home. So far she had lucked out. Having promised her father that she would go back with him if she won a scholarship, she could ignore the acceptance letters that she had received so far.
“Yes. You certainly have set the bar high, Kaname.” Shunya smiled. “Ayame, you have your work cut out for you, if you want to do yourself that proud.”
“Great,” Ayame grumped under her breath. “Freaking brainiac.”
“Ayame Chidori!” The car swerved slightly when Shunya spoke. “You should be lucky to be like your sister when you are her age.”
“Geez. I’m just joking, Daddy!” Ayame threw her hands up.
Kaname bit her lip and swallowed hard. Her father’s words had her thinking about the secret that she had never told him or Ayame. Neither knew that she was Whispered. They probably had no idea what that term meant. If by some miracle she did end up getting a scholarship to a college in the States… especially one that gave her a chance to live at home with her family… she would have to break to truth to them. Glancing at her father out of the corner of her eye, she felt a growing sense of guilt.
She should have mentioned something long ago.
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“I believe that this must be the first photograph of Sousuke.” Kurz said.
“Huh? What have you been smoking?” Melissa snapped the picture, taken outside of the graduation site..
“I mean, this must be the first picture where he’s not in some kind of uniform.” Kurz decided to live dangerously. He popped the top on one of Melissa’s beers he had brought with him and took a long pull. She was too busy fussing over Sousuke to take notice, or so he hoped..
“He looks very nice in his school uni. Every guy should be so lucky.” Sgt. Major Mao gave Kurz a haughty look. “You should feel proud, Sousuke. You worked hard to earn this.”
“The uniform?" Sousuke asked. It was hard to tell if she was joking or not.
Kurz grinned. Melissa smacked her forehead, and then smiled. “Very funny. You do look really good, though.”
“I am not certain that I did earn anything.” Sousuke ignored Kurz, who pretended to swoon at the sight of him. “Some of it may be gratitude, as the school personnel and a number of government officials realize that I risked my life to protect Tokyo.” He shook his head. Now was not the time to think about his loss at the hands of Leonard. That might lead him to think about Kaname’s voluntary abduction.
“You should feel proud about that, too.” Tessa put in. She sighed, staring at Sousuke for a moment, before looking away. She thought about the time that she had spent at Jindai High School, feeling a sense of regret, knowing that the buildings were gone. It had been a brief but wonderful experience, much to Cmdr. Mardukas’ dislike.
“I was just doing my duty.” Sousuke stood at attention when Tessa started walked over and began working a flower through his collar. “In the battle… and in my attendance at school.”
“Uh huh. I don’t think it was all duty, was it?” Kurz sulked when he asked Tessa if she had a flower for him, only to hear her say ‘no’. “I doubt anyone ordered you to get close with such a cuddly young thing.” The look he gave a perturbed looking Tessa said ‘next time remember my flower!’
“No. It was not.” Sousuke stepped away from the Mithril van and began to walk across the street.
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“Looks like they went all out.”
Shunya spoke as he turned the wheel, driving where a helmeted policeman signaled him to go. The parking areas were filling up quickly.
“They sure did!” Ayame pointed. Graduation was being held in a large amphitheater. The sides of the building were hung with large rolls of fabric in the school colors. Rows of Greek nude sculptures were clothed in the robes and mortarboards that the students were wearing. Large bunches of flowers were everywhere. The whole city was behind the graduating class of the beleaguered school.
“Yes,” Kaname said. She sounded glum. There was good reason for that. Great waves of guilt washed over her. There had been donations sent in from numerous people. The efforts were all meant to put a bright and happy shine on the day, in an attempt to balance out the tragedy that had befallen the school. Jindai High School had been destroyed because of her. It had been struck in dastardly fashion. Leonard had thought that such a personalized attack would break her will and make her agree to his terms. It hadn’t. As a result, there had been more destruction… more debts laid on her soul. Only when Sousuke had been defeated, and his life was used as a bargaining chip, did she give in.
Sousuke.
Kaname thought of him as she watched one of the police officers assigned to provide security. The man was armed, but with more than a baton or small caliber revolver. There was an SMG slung around his back. Looking up on the roof of nearby buildings, she caught sight of a number of men with rifles. The city was not going to take any chances, it appeared.
Kaname smiled briefly. She wondered what Wraith must be doing, seeing that so many rooftops were being patrolled. Maybe she would dress up as a student and blend in some how. No. It would make more sense forher to simply forge a guest pass and sit in the audience.
Her thoughts went back to Sousuke again. It was his heroism that had won the hearts of their classmates. It had been the petition signed by all of the classes that had allowed him and her back into school. He had gone on to make a confession in front of the assembled school, without actually mentioning Mithril by name. He had confirmed that the terrorists had been after Kaname, but asked everyone to respect her secret. As a result, no one ever asked why they had been after her, not even Kyouko, Ryo, or Maya.
Kaname had wanted to tell everyone. She wanted to bare her soul. But, Sousuke thought it was best not to publicize her special nature. It was bad enough that secret organizations had been after the Black Technology that Whispered carried. What would happen if greedy businessmen or government agencies followed suit?
At least no one thought of her as a freak. They might have, if they knew the truth. As it was, she was still the subject of scorn by some. Sousuke may have destroyed lockers and the like, but Kaname had destroyed the entire school. It was her good fortune that a majority of the students were sympathetic, knowing that Kaname had done nothing wrong herself. She just hoped that the vocal minority would not cause some ugly scene during her speech, or when she walked up to accept her diploma.
She swallowed hard. As much as those issues weighed heavily on her heart, there was something else to worry about. Her father and Ayame knew nothing about Sousuke. No, that wasn’t entirely true. His name had appeared in the media, but Mithril had somehow been able to limit what was said, and how often it was repeated. Her family knew nothing about their relationship. When she had been given permission to live alone in Tokyo, such permission had not come without provisos. One rule had been told to her in no uncertain terms. ‘No Boyfriends’.
“Kaname, why so quiet? And why the long face? This is your big day! Your future starts the moment you walk off the stage.” Her father brought the car to a stop. He straightened his tie as he looked over at his eldest daughter.
“She probably doesn’t want to leave high school,” Ayame piped in, waving her hand as if she was a font of wisdom and experience. “I’ve heard people say that kids should enjoy high school. It’s the best years of their life.”
“Yes, that’s it.” Kaname tried to smile. That answer ought to deflect any more probing from her father or sister. “I had a lot of good times. There are people that I will miss very much.” That much was true. But, it did not wipe away the unspoken truths.
“Well, we all go through that.” Shunya got out of the car and opened the door for Kaname, and then Ayame. “There will be more good times, and new friends. And, there is no reason that you have to forget about your old friends. I’m sure some of them will be in the Tokyo area, if you attend Tokyo University.”
Kaname felt even more on edge. She did not want to think about college at the moment. Things would be hard enough for her if she stayed in Japan. Sousuke had not applied to any schools, and Mithril might no longer have the influence and funds to bring to bear that they once had. He had assured her that she was still under the organizations protection, and said that he had asked Tessa to intercede on his behalf, so that he could find some job or position at any college she attended.
If things worked out for the best, his superiors might allow that, and even find some way to get him enrolled as a student. But, Sousuke was still a valued commodity, even more now than before. The mercenary group was slowly rebuilding its forces, and Sousuke Sagara remained the only pilot capable of operating Arbalest. The ARX-7 was the only Lambda Driver capable Arm Slave in service. A number of enemy Venom craft had been captured, but no pilots had been found in the ranks of available soldiers. In a nutshell, Sousuke could be taken out of her life at the drop of a hat. Either that, or he would resign to be by her side.
That was another huge source of pressure. They had been through a lot together. He meant the world to her, now. They may have shared a lot together, but there was no way to know whether of not she might grow tired of his ways. Sousuke had made great strides, but was still so different.
Something else was nagging at her. After all that had happened, she found herself wanting nothing more to do with Mithril. She knew that she was being irrational and unfair, but any memory of that organization reminded her of Amalgam and the things that they had done. Amalgam also reminded her of the things that she had done, and the things that were done to her. Sousuke would always remind her of Mithril, even if he left the organization.
“Maybe she’s sad about leaving a boyfriend.” Ayame’s sly little jibe struck harder than a cruise missile.
Kaname froze in mid step. It looked as if she were about to fall over. Her face grew warm, and she hoped beyond hope that she wasn’t blushing. “N-No… of course not… ah hah hah hah hah hah hah…” She swallowed hard. Her father may not know what that laugh meant, but his antennas would be up now. She had to be very careful. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Was that a lie? She and Sousuke held hands wherever they went. They had grown closer, and she had found herself thinking about him more and more. No, it was more than that. She had no choice to be honest with herself. She was in love with that scruffy idiot. There was a very good chance that he felt the same way, as much as he might understand such feelings. But, they had never actually professed their feelings to one another. No one at school spoke of them as a couple, at least not when either of them could her. The two of them had never even kissed, much less done anything more intimate.
“I know we had our rule,” Shunya said, taking off his glasses to polish them. “And, I would be very impressed if you managed to follow it all these years.” He put his glasses on and looked over at Kaname. “But, I would understand if you acted like any other young woman.”
“Daddy?” Kaname’s eyes widened.
“I was a teenager too, Kaname. I guess that was one reason I made the rule in the first place. I knew all to well what went on with some boys and girls.” Shunya brushed some lint off of his tailored suit. “I didn’t want you distracted. I worried that your grades would suffer. But, her you are, Valedictorian.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m very proud.”
“Me too!” Ayame chirped, feeling left out.
Shunya’s face grew more serious for a moment. “I also didn’t want to see you get hurt, pumpkin.”
Ayame snickered. ‘Pumpkin’. It was just too funny! She stopped smiling, and not because of the look that her sister gave her. She had her own pet names.
“I’m OK, Daddy.” Kaname had to fight back tears. She hadn’t really every been OK, after she learned about her curse. The only good thing bout being Whispered had been the feelings that she developed for Sousuke. But, to be honest, she would gladly trade him for a chance to be a normal woman and lead a normal life. That truth made her feel small and weak, as well as ungrateful. In any case, there was no going back. There was no cure for her condition. “It wasn’t easy, but I got through it all.” She had. But, there had been more than just school to deal with. “It wasn’t like junior high.”
That was true. She had seriously thought about killing herself then. That was worse than being in danger of being killed. Her friends at Jindai had been a big help. She truly would miss them.
Sousuke had helped her too, in ways she hadn’t fully realized at first. She had stumbled on a number of truths during the parts of her captivity where she had time on her hands and nothing to do but think. Yes. She had done a lot of soul searching then. ‘That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ might explain a lot of her earlier experience with a certain clueless sergeant. It also held true for the hard times they suffered during the fighting between Mithril and Amalgam. But, Sousuke had also touched her heart in ways she had never allowed before. It was quite possible that no one else… and nothing else… might have gotten her to lower those walls completely.
What should she do? Should she admit her relationship with Sousuke to her father? How was she going to handle seeing him today? He had wanted to be by her side when possible, but she had told him not too, because her family would be there. That had hurt him… she was sure of it. But he had done what he always does.
He placed her first, and did so without complaining or sulking. He was so different. But, in his own way, he was so wonderful. She would never have to question his courage. There would never be reason to wonder about his loyalty or faithfulness. How many other people could have gone through what he did as a child, only to turn out the way he had? With all that he had done to stand up for her, shouldn’t she do the same for him? Wasn’t it her obligation to stand by his side, telling everyone how she felt about him? Why was she such a coward in this?
Maybe because she wondered if she was good enough for him. No. Her pride wouldn’t let her believe that, ant least not entirely. It was more than that. She was scared that she would lose him some day, juts like she had lost her mother. She didn’t want to go through that kind of pain again. No. There was more than that, too. Without her, Sousuke might walk away from Mithril some day, finding the peace he never had in his life. If he stayed by her, what kind of true peace could he ever hope for?
“Yes, you’ve come a long way, pumpkin. In many ways.” Shunya looped his arm through Kaname’s. He looked down at Ayame with a fond grin when she scrambled to do the same thing on his other side. “I wish you could have had a better childhood. But, you have so much to look forward to.”
Kaname nodded her head, unable to speak.
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“Ooops…”
Tessa stepped funny in her new high heels. She ended up on her keister, sliding down he steps leading to the seating area.
“Captain!” Sousuke moved quickly to help her, giving her his hand. He cocked his head, wondered why the girl looked the way that she did. It wasn’t a grimace of pain, or a blush of embarrassment. Oh. “I mean Tessa.”
“Did you push her, Sousuke?” Kurz said, in mock severity. “Only to get a look up her skirt? Naughty boy. I’m proud of you!” He smiled at his Captain. “Nice panties, Tessa. You… owwww…”
Melissa smacked Kurz in the head. She then pushed him down the stairs, grinning a satisfied grin when he bowled over a police officer. He would need some of his famous fast-talking to get out of that one.
Sousuke began to sweat. Not because it was a hot day. Not because his uniform made him overly warm. No, everyone in the vicinity was staring in their direction. Some of the people nearby were students. They simple smiled and looked away. Their faces clearly said ‘Oh, it’s only Sousuke’. He didn’t want anything to go wrong today. Not just for himself, but for the entire school. Everyone had been through enough already. Especially Kaname.
He thought about her. She should be arriving soon, if she wasn’t already in the building. Her speech would come before everything else, just after the Principal and Superintendent said their opening words.
“They are nice panties, aren’t they?” Melissa whispered in Sousuke’s ear. She watched his face closely, and then smiled a large smile seeing his reaction. “It’s OK. I won’t tell Tessa… or Kaname…”
“Uhhh…” Sousuke began to sweat even more. Unable to help himself, he looked over at Tessa. Immediately thereafter, he scanned the crowd for Kaname.
“You really are such a kid,” Melissa laughed, a fond look on her face. She leaned over and kissed Sousuke on the cheek. “We may have a strange way of showing it at times, but we really are proud of you. In many ways.” She looked down below, watching Kurz wave his arms as he spoke to the disgruntled officers. “As much as he tries to hide things, I think that Kurz is the proudest of all.”
“Thank you,” Sousuke answered, not certain how he should feel, and unable to understand just what he was feeling.
“So, what’s got you all nervous?” Melissa watched as a number of students who recognized Tessa came over to speak with her. A number of boys were knocking people aside to reach her side. “I know it’s not Tessa’s panties. Is it because you’re here, with so many people? Is it because you’re sort of a minor celebrity, or because you will always remind these people of the things that happened to this city?” She paused and thought a moment. “Are you worried what your future holds?”
Melissa thought back to her own high school days. She remembered her family’s insistence that she join the military rather than attend college. She wondered what her life might have held, if she had stood up to them at that point. Maybe she would have left then, instead of fleeing a marriage ceremony she never really wanted. She hoped that Sousuke would have a chance to choose his own path at some point. She would be happy if he chose Mithril, But, what she wanted most was for him to find some happiness of his own.
“Affirmative. It may be some of that. I am not really certain.” Sousuke ran a hand through his hair, and then frowned. Tessa had made a big deal about combing it for him. He’d be in trouble with her now. That is, if the crowd around her ever dispersed. “I’m just…” The word he was looking for was ‘confused’. If not that, then ‘worried’ or ‘uncertain’.
“Is it Kaname?” Melissa nodded when she saw her subordinate’s reaction. She forced herself not to lash out violently, when someone passing her on the stairs ran his hand along her backside. It might have been accidental. No. That subsequent grope wasn’t. “Excuse me.” That was said to Sousuke, not the middle-aged man with a paunch that bent over in pain, Melissa’s elbow iimpacting his abdomen. “Where was I?”
Sousuke remained silent. He watched as Kurz pantomimed a knee injury to a group of policemen. He could barely catch the false French accent that his friend used. It was the same one he had affected when approaching Kaname and Kyouko at the start of the Tokyo mission. Those days seemed so long ago. For some reason that he didn’t understand, the memory seemed precious to him.
“I know that Kaname has been acting strangely around you lately. But it’s more than that, right?” Melissa gave Sousuke a piercing stare. She wanted to get to the bottom of this, in case she could say something that might make Sousuke feel more at ease. “You’re not worried that someone might launch an attack tonight, are you? The area is secure. Tessa was able to assign some Mithril forces as well. Clouzot is somewhere nearby in a cloaked M9.”
“It is not that.” Sousuke had given a disguised agent his weapons bag. It would be secreted underneath the stage. He stared at Melissa in her dress for a moment. He thought back to a time when she wore a different dress. He remembered the rush of adrenalin that he had felt behind the wheel of the small Fiat, as Mao stood up through the sun roof and Kurz leaned out a broken back window. They had waged a gun battle through the streets of Sicily, chased by a number of cars. He hoped that nothing like that happened today. He doubted it would, despite the fact that remnants of Amalgam had survived, and he and his companions had made a lot of enemies outside of the large terrorist groups that they had fought.
Despite all of the danger he had faced, he counted himself very fortunate to have found a family. That’s what Kurz and Melissa were to him. Family. He didn’t want to think about leaving that family; but, that’s what most of the students here today would do, once they made their way to college. Family would still be family, despite that. He did not need to worry about that, too. He already had too much on his mind as it was.
“Do you feel pressured to take some big step in your relationship? Is that why you are so intent on asking her out on an actual date?” Melissa placed her hands together and cracked her knuckles. “Are you afraid that she might simply forget you, once she gets into college? Or, are you worried that HQ might drag your ass away from her for good, forcing you to make a very tough decision?”
“No. I had made that decision before. You are well aware of this.” Sousuke thought back to when he had threatened to leave Mithril, angering General Amitt. He remembered setting out on his own to rescue Kaname, leaving Mithril because he was acting against orders. He had later rejoined at Mithril’s request, not his own.
“Are you worried about meeting her family? Her father?” Melissa pursed her lips together when she saw Sousuke set his jaw. “Worried that Daddy won’t approve of you as her boyfriend?” Her fingers twitched. She imaged herself grabbing Shunya Chidori by the collar and shaking some sense into him.
“There is nothing to worry about in that regard.” Sousuke’s words came out quickly, with an angry grunt. “I will be introduced in the same fashion that any other random friend might be. She will not purposefully seek me out for such a greeting.”
“What?” Melissa’s features darkened. Her hand twitched. She shook her head when her hand went to where her combat knife would have been, had she not been dressed in a fancy sequined gown. “How can she…” She scowled. She saw Kurz pointing in her direction. She clearly made out the word ‘pushed’ on his lips. He was asking for trouble. “Do you want me to have a talk with her?”
Sousuke shook his head. “No. I thank you for your concern. This is something for Kaname to deal with. It is never good to push her.” Sousuke spoke sternly. “It is never good to push anyone, it seems.”
The police were walking up the stairs in their direction. Kurz walked behind them smiling. He gave Melissa the finger before blowing her a kiss. “I seem to need to use the ladies room,” Melissa said, not feeling like talking with the authorities. “I’ll catch your ceremony when it starts.” With that, she vanished into the crowd as if she had never been there.
Standing alone, Sousuke took everything in. The building. The surging mass of humanity. The decorations. The loud buzz from countless conversations.
He didn’t catch any sight of Kaname.
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“I can see the future that awaits us. And, that makes me say ‘Wait, don’t go!’”
Kaname shook her head. It still didn’t sound right. The point she wanted to make was fine. The high school years were wonderful in their way. No doubt they would all wish to return to such a carefree time. Those that had such a luxury, that is.
“Yes, I like that.” Shunya raised an eyebrow looking over at Ayame, who was busy shaking her head and wincing.
“You do?” Kaname looked incredulous. “It sounds kind of corny, doesn’t it?”
“Yup!” Ayame slapped her hands together, causing her big sister to jump. “Cheesy too.”
“It’s fine. It shows a sense of humor. Everyone will be able to relate to it.” Shunya put on a straight face. “Besides, at this kind of thing, people expect the speech to be… “ He grinned when Kaname made her ‘hmmmpppfff’ noise.
“Yeh,” Ayame said. “They won’t be disappointed. Well, they will in some ways…” It was fun, joking with her sister. She was very proud of her, but it wasn’t time to let her know that yet.
Kaname reached over a railing, grabbed a copy of the program, rolled it up, and smacked Ayame lightly on the head. For a moment, she froze, thinking about her halisen, and how freely she used to chastise Sousuke with it. A lump formed in her throat. “That’s it, you little troublemaker.” She swung again, but her sister ducked, stepping on a portly woman’s foot in the process. Kaname held off while Ayame apologized. While she waited, she chose a different strategy. “Daddy, what is Ayame’s pet name now?”
“Hmmm. What? Oh.” Shunya grinned. “Well, the newest one is sweet pea.” His eyes showed his amusement when Ayame shouted ‘hey!’
“Sweet pea? That’s so great. I think that’s how I’ll introduce her to my teachers and friends.” Kaname smirked. Looking at her father, she shook her fist at him. “What’s with the vegetables, though? Come on Daddy, enter the twenty-first century. Sheeesh.”
“Old habits die young, I suppose.” Shunya sighed. “Your mother started that. I just…” He shrugged. It was hard for him, a day like this. He would have given everything he had, just to have Shizu here today. “She would be very proud of you, you know.”
“Yes, I know.” Kaname looked up at the cloud-filled sky. She too wished that her mother was still alive. Not just for the obvious reasons, however. Now, with so many decisions awaiting her, she could use a woman’s advice more than anything.
Shunya wordlessly adjusted ran a pin on Kaname's blouse. It had belonged to her grandmother, who had also finished first in her class. “Looks like it’s time for us to find our seats. The Principal is signaling for you.”
Kaname kissed her father, mussed Ayame’s hair, and then walked off on her own. As she was approaching the stage, she heard a whistle. Looking over, she saw Kurz Weber standing on the back of his chair waving his jacket to get her attention. When an arm swept out, knocking him to his seat, she was able to see Melissa Mao and… Tessa. Smiling, she waved back. She was happy for Sousuke that he had someone coming to see him graduate. She was even glad to see that the little Captain had come along.
Heading over to a spot just to the side of the lectern, she scanned the group of students from her class. Most smiled or waved. Sousuke, of course, saluted. The more things change, the more they stay the same!
She stopped a moment to stare at him, before looking away and taking her place.
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“Hey, Sagara!”
Ono tugged on Sousuke’s sleeve.
“Yes?” Sousuke heard excitement in his friend’s voice, not fear or concern. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself.
“Party at my place, tomorrow night. You gotta be there, man. A number of girls have be asking if you’d show up. You got the invitation, didn’t you?” The young man looked honestly hopeful.
“Uhhh…” Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck. He was gratified and confused by his friend’s invitation. It was hard to believe that so many people changed their opinions of him. “Large envelope? Unmarked? Red stain on one corner?”
“Yeh. I spilled some juice on some of them. Oh…” Ono’s eyes widened. “Are you saying… damn… you didn’t blow it up, did you?”
“Affirmative.” Sousuke shrugged. Kaname hadn’t entirely broken him of that habit.
“You’re one of as kind, man. One of a kind.” The young man slapped Sousuke on the back. After that, he looked over at Kaname, fidgeting as she awaited her turn to speak. “Don’t you think Kaname looks hot there, standing there?"
“Hot? I would not be surprised. It is a warm evening.” Sousuke was still clueless in many ways.
“Geez. You’re going to have to wise up, man. We’re not boys anymore. We’re men!” Ono went to whisper Sousuke’s response to everyone within earshot. The loud laughter caused the principal look in their direction. The look on her face made it clear that she would find some way to make them pay, even if they wouldn’t be part of her school any more. Everyone quieted immediately.
“I have a great honor in introducing the next speaker.” There was no artifice in the Principal’s voice. She had gone through difficult times due to Kaname and Sousuke, even before the Amalagam episode; but, she didn’t hold any grudges. “She did a wonderful job as Student Council Vice President, and served ably as a Class Representative. Aside from that, she was a star on the girl’s softball team, and did tremendous work as a booster for other sports.”
“She also got our school destroyed, and caused a number of good kids to get hurt. Not to mention… awwwww….”
There was a clearly audible thud. Kaname forced herself to remain still. She was not going to look behind her. As such, she did not see Sousuke step back into his place, sliding his pistol back into hispocket. She also didn’t realize that the surrounding students spared little sympathy for the lout who had spoken, but were instead patting Sousuke on the back and calling out their ‘attaboys’.
Nevertheless, despite her attempt at decorum, Kaname flashed a quick smile. It grew larger when she heard Melissa whistle loudly. Forcing herself to look serious again, she wondered what she would have done in the past. No doubt she would have flown up the sturdy risers, taken Sousuke by the collar, and thrown him clear off of the stage. So this was growing up….
The Principal decide to cut her introduction short. “I now present to you, Kaname Chidori, Valedictorian of the graduating class.
As the polite round of applause died down, Kaname walked over to the lectern and adjusted the microphone. She took a deep breath before speaking. For a moment, images from her ordeal flashed before her eyes. The last image was that of Jindai High School, laying in ruin. Shaking her head, she tried to purposely remember much better times.
It was time for her speech.
“The real world. Just what is the real world?” Kaname automatically scanned the crowd, looking for familiar faces, and trying to get an idea of the audience’s reaction to her. “If you ask any one of us here whether or not we lived in the real world, they would look at you and wonder if you were crazy or something.”
“You got that right!” Some wit cried out from the class. A sudden grunt and thud suggested that Sousuke was at work again.
“We’re all about to enter the Real World, in a sense, even though some of the things that we’ve been through have been all too real.” Kaname kept her chin up. Memories of Khanka, the Pacific Christmas, and the more recent events sprang up before her. She saw a universal look of understanding on the faces in the crowd.
“Whose fault is… oooooooh…” That speaker had been in the crowd. A rather self-satisfied Kurz Weber made his way back to his seat. He wasn’t the only one to scold the rude man. The people in the gathering were willing to let Kaname speak, even if most of them wondered just who and what she was.
“I have gotten a good idea of what our futures will look like. I have sat in courses at a local University. I have seen some of the things that face our parents and their peers. All I can say is ‘Don’t Go’! And as we walk together into that future, I want to shout ‘Go back’!”
Sousuke stared at Kaname. He knew exactly what she meant. He felt the same way himself. After years of living one kind of life, he had found something different and better at Jindai High School, even though things hadn’t started off that way. Now, it was all over. Looking at his fellow students, he saw many of them nodding their heads.
“It’s almost over. It’s almost all done.” Kaname’s voice cracked for a moment, but she continued without missing a beat. “We’ve gone through a lot together. Our time in school had provided us with rigorous training, arming us for the battle ahead.” Kaname fought the urge to turn back and salute Sousuke. Her words were not otaku. They were practical and profound. She frowned when she heard a number of students mention Sousuke by name. “Just the same, we have to ask, what’s going to happen to us?”
Sousuke was not entirely surprised to find that his hands were clenched. He wondered if Kaname was sending him some kind of message with her speech. No. That would not be necessary. The words held true for any and all of them there on the stage.
Kaname looked over at her father. He nodded his head and clapped his hands together silently. Next to him, Ayame folded her arms across her chest and stuck her nose in the air. “Some of the answers may seem simple. All of us what to be happy, right? Most of us are on our way to college. The guys are probably thinking about getting a car. The girls might be thinking about raising a family. It’s all rather exciting.” Kaname placed her hands on the side of the podium, steadying herself.
“Hell yeh!” Someone called out. That did not prompt a reprimand from Sousuke.
“For those that know me,” Kaname continued. “I am a very ambitious person. Despite the things that I have been through, I remain hopeful and optimistic. Still, I can’t help but find myself trembling sometimes. There is no guarantee that any of those things we hope for will come to be. When I think about the future….” She gripped the lectern as if she were holding onto wreckage after a boating accident. “When I think about the future, I am really… scared…”
Sousuke read many things into that statement. Kaname had more things to be frightened about than most other people had. Her future was more uncertain than anyone else’s, possibly even his own. As Kaname continued on with her speech, he spoke quietly.
“I would protect you, Kaname.”
This story may deviate from canon, if such a change is necessary for plot particulars.
Of note, this story uses the framework of the movie ‘Say Anything’ as a starting point. Many common happenings are borrowed, as are some lines and some general concepts.
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“There will be a ceremony. Otherwise, it will simply be another night”
Sousuke sat with his friends aboard Da Danaan. The group of SRT members and submarine crew were observing one of their post-mission rituals: black coffee and steaks. Unlike them, he chose a glass of ice water and a protein bar.
“Come on, Sousuke! You’re graduating in a few days. A number of years ago, and you never would have guessed that you would be going to high school at all.” Kurz dumped a whole jar of sugar into Melissa’s cup while she was busy shouting for another steak.
“Shit. You should be feeling happy, if only because they let you finish. As it was, Amalgam took out the whole school, right?” Melissa exchanged cups with Kurz. “It was no secret why they did it. Just the same, they let Kaname return, and you with her.”
“And you should be proud of what you accomplished, Sousuke.” Tessa walked over and pulled up a seat. She didn’t usually join the team for their meal, making it a habit to head back to the bridge or her cabin after debriefing. “The grades you got in your courses were real ones. Mithril’s money and influence did not buy those.”
“I don’t think there was enough money left in the Finance department, after they paid off all of Sousuke’s damages!” Kurz’ comment had everyone but Tessa and Sousuke laughing or smiling.
“The teachers and students who originally ridiculed you or avoided you, they all seemed to come around after they realized who you really were, and how you had risked your life for the city, right?” Tessa said, making a face at Kurz. As usual, he was not helping matters.
Sousuke didn’t answer. He knew that Tessa would not like the words that had been on the tip of his tongue. More than anything else, he had fought for Kaname. Had fought and lost, at first. It had taken much more fighting and many more lives to win that war, gaining her back in the process.
“You really are leaving on a pretty good note, aren‘t you?” Melissa stuck her knife into the table top when Kurz tried another switch. “A much better note than the one you arrived on, any way.” She smiled, remembering many of the trials and tribulations Sousuke had faced, trying to fit in with normal teenagers. The picture of him handcuffed to a metal folding chair never failed to bring a smile to her face.
“Yes,” Sousuke ran his hand through his hair. He was exhausted. It had been a particularly grueling mission, and he hadn’t managed more than two hours of sleep per night for the past week. “I suppose that is correct.” He rubbed his eyes. His last days of school were coming up. It would be best if he didn’t sleep through them.
“You suppose?” Kurz laughed. “When you got back to school…” Kurz skipped a beat when he saw the painful look on his friend’s face. Sousuke had more accurately gone back to class. The students were using a large warehouse as their meeting place, while the remnants of Jindai High School were being bulldozed down and a new structure was breaking ground. “When you went back to class, they stopped looking at you as the freak with a fetish for guns and bombs. They knew who you really were, and they thought you were cool. Didn‘t they?” He chuckled wickedly. “From what I hear, you could have had any girl you wanted, heh heh heh heh.”
Tessa gave Kurz another rude look before realizing what she had done. Looking away, she pretended to read the mess menu just hung up on the wall by one of the cooks.
“But, there is a girl on your mind, is there not?” Lt. Clouzot smiled and nodded his head knowingly. He had run afoul of Kaname Chidori’s forceful side on a number of occasions, but had no doubt that the girl had a soft spot for a certain young SRT member. “How is Miss Chidori treating you, by the way? I didn’t notice any new scars when you were putting on your combat gear.” He was also certain that Sousuke benefited from having a hard head.
“She is being difficult. Her actions make no sense.” Sousuke frowned. Something as complex as Arbalest, he did not fully understand. That was OK. No one did. But, other people seemed able to understand human behavior. It bothered him that he did not.
“So, are you ever going to actually ask her out on a date?” Kurz grinned. “Or are you just going to get her drunk after graduation and have your way with her. Heh heh heh heh owwwwwww….” The long-haired sniper grimaced when Mao clobbered him with a large porterhouse stake, medium rare.
“Another steak over here, Cookie!” Melissa dropped the damaged cut of meat on Kurz’ lap. “Sousuke, you and I both know that the you and Kaname have strong feelings for one another. I hope that you also realize that Kaname has been through a lot. After everything that happened, she might feel that she betrayed you somehow. If not, she might still feel that she is responsible for some of the things that happened to you.”
Tessa watched Sousuke intently, but said nothing. She almost wished that Sousuke would give up on Kaname. But, she told herself that she should be happy that he returned to Mithril. No one had been overly surprised when he had disobeyed orders, striking off on his own to rescue Kaname. That action hadn’t cost Mithril the war, but under different circumstances, it could have. But, just when things looked bleak… as smaller rogue groups took to looking at Mithril as if it were a wounded animal on its last leg… he had returned when they needed him most.
“I do not blame Kaname for anything. I have told her that. There is no reason that she should not believe me.” Sousuke unwrapped a second protein bar and sat staring at it. “I have also apologized. She chose to go with….” Sousuke looked over at Tessa. He did not need to speak her brother’s name. “She was taken away, because my partner and I failed.” The partner he referred to was the A.I. in Arbalest. “I fought my hardest. I have told her that as well.”
“Women are very complex.” Master Machinist Jorgensen gave a brisk salute to Tessa and Melissa. “No, let me amend that. People are complex. Her head may hear one thing, but her heart believe another. That kind of thing happens all the time.“ He pushed a long lock of blonde hair away from his eyes. He had learned that truth any number of times before joining Mithril. His heart was spread across many ports, from Rotterdam to Cape Town. “If not that, she may have made a decision about you that she cannot put in words… or cannot bring herself to tell you.”
“Good or bad,” Lt. Clouzot added.
“I understand.” Sousuke broke off a piece of his food and tossed it about in his hand. There were things he did not want to think about at the moment. Pushing those thoughts aside, he took a more optimistic stance. “I have done some thinking. What do you all think. Would the movies be a good second date?”
“Yes,” Tessa blurted that out, picturing herself arm in arm with Sousuke, strolling towards some cinema. “But… well… did you ever really have a first date?” She rubbed her fingers together under the table. She blushed when she saw Melissa glance knowingly in her direction.
“Affirmative. We did. When I returned after the final conflict, and she returned to Tokyo, she instructed me to join her at a restaurant. We ate food together. We spoke about each other’s experiences. It was a physical event. It was also an emotional event. As such, I would consider that occurrence to be a date“ rubbing his eyes, he felt compelled to clarify further. “While many of our other times together had emotional or physical components, I do not consider them dates.”
“Hah! You got that all wrong Sousuke old buddy!” Kurz smiled. “Any girl would consider that time in Khanka a date. Or, that bit aboard the cruise ship. Not to mention that fun time when Gauron hijacked the sub, or the wonderful day when you brought that Full Monty Virus to class.”
“That wasn’t a date, draugas.” Lt. Valkovic ignored the nonsense that Kurz was spouting. Shaking his head, he sighed. Relatively new to the Special Responses Team, the Lithuanian born commando was still getting used to the walking conundrum known as Sagara, Sgt. Sousuke. He had become fond of the younger soldier, but, Sousuke’s inexperience and naivete regarding women set his teeth on edge. “That was more like a meeting. At most, it was going out as friends.”
“What is a date, then?” Sousuke wrapped his hand around his glass but didn’t drink.
“A long shower. Nice new clothes. Cologne. Fine food. A place alone. Kissing. Your hands on her breasts. Better yet… ouch… will you stop doing that!” Kurz glowered at Melissa who feigned innocence after stomping hard on his foot.
“A date is a pre-arranged get together,” Sgt. Yun said. A very serious man of few words, he felt comfortable around Sousuke, who acted in similar fashion. “But, it is more than that. It should have the possibility of leading to love.”
Tessa dropped her knife. It hit her plate, making a loud noise. She hurried to pick up the utensil, feeling her face grow warm. She thought about excusing herself, but felt that such an act would be cowardly. “Love,” she whispered to herself. “I wish I knew what that felt like….” She couldn’t help but sigh. In a way, she could guess what it was like. She remembered how she had felt, and what she had fantasized about, back when Sousuke had saved her during the Pacific Christmas incident.
“Crap.” Melissa’s plate shook as she worked fiercely to cut her steak. “I’ve been on too many dates to count. I definitely do not go looking for love. What is love, anyway?” She laughed. “We could talk all night, and never agree on anything!”
Kurz looked at Melissa with a look akin to sympathy. She saw it, and looked away angrily. Tessa lowered her eyes, having listened to a drunken Mao talk about her life on numerous occasions. Kurz shed his playboy person for a moment. He sat tapping his fork against his plate, thinking about his own life. He looked over at Sousuke, wondering if his friend was destined for a similar existence. He had given his heart away once, and had been burned for it. He didn’t want to think about his girlfriend, her illness, or the doctor that she ran away with.
Other Mithril soldiers spoke up, defending the idea of love. Sousuke was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to pay attention to what everyone said. When there finally was a moment of silence again, he said “I will ask Kaname out on a date.” He set his jaw, a faraway look in his eyes. “I owe her a great deal. And… we…” He closed his mouth, reticent to describe the unspoken feelings he had for a blue-haired girl.
“It’s not about debt and obligation, mon.” Sgt. Wailer yawned, and then shook out his long braided hair. “Hell. No woman is going to want that. Not even drunken Mao.” He had to duck when a salt shaker came flying towards his face. “If you’re after love and not just sex or friendship… you better let her know that you care.”
“I am certain that she knows that already.” Sousuke sat up straighter. “I believe that she cares as well. We have never put things into words. That does not negate the feelings, does it?”
“Damn straight.” Sgt. Estrella laughed. “Words just get in the way. If you really want to show her that you care, give her a good bouncing on the bedsprings. If she cries out your name, that’s as good as love.”
“Oooooooh, Sousuke…” Kurz imitated Kaname. “You’re sooooo big.” He grinned, seeing the look on Tessa’s face. “Oh… ohhh… ohhhh… Sousuke… Souuuuus-kaaaaay… you big idiot…” He moved his foot instinctively, just in time. Melissa had put a lot of force into that stomp. “Ohhhhhh… Sousuke… you big jerk… harder….” He noted a number of guys laughing, spurring him on. “Ohhh… don’t you stop… don’t ever stop… Soooo… ussss… kayyyyyyyyy… ohhh ahhh… you big stupid head…”
A number of guys slapped the table. Sonar officer Chen, a lovely slender woman of Korean descent, turned to speak to Dr. Lucy Osler, the TDD-1’s new doctor. “He is such a drama queen.” Her comment regarding Kurz had Melissa slapping the table top.
Sousuke looked down at his hands. His fingers were interlaced together. Strange. He didn‘t remember doing that. “Captain, is this true? Do girls equate sex with love?” Sousuke twitched. “If so….”
“Eeep!” Tessa tensed up. Her reaction clearly said ‘why are you asking me?’ Struggling to maintain her composure, she tried to answer in a high-pitched voice. “Well, no, I don’t think so….” She stopped, feeling foolish saying that, never having any experience with dating, much less intimate relations.
“If it did, Mao would be in love with half of the Pacific Branch…” This time Sgt. Wailer reacted too slowly. A pepper shaker careened of his head, landing a few tables over.
The overhead speaker system came to life. Cmdr. Mardukas requested Tessa’s presence on the bridge. The young silver-haired girl looked relieved when she left the table.
“No, Sousuke.” Melissa stood up, walked over, and took the seat that Tessa vacated. “People in love often have sex. But, many people having sex are not in love.” Her face went very serious. “I think you’re wrestling with a bigger issue, aren’t you?”
“Affirmative.” Sousuke was silent for a moment, ignoring the banter that broke out amongst his fellow soldiers. “I do not think that I am worthy of someone like Kaname Chidori.” He felt a sense of gratitude when everyone at the table tried to talk him down. “Perhaps my statement is not entirely true. However, I have doubts that I would be good for her.” Sousuke didn’t go further and say ‘I wonder if I would be good for anyone’, even though he was thinking that. “If a day came when I was no longer needed to protect her…”
“Well, she is the brainy sort, and you aren’t the sharpest sword on the rack.” Estrella shrugged when some of the others took offense at that. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it? They are somewhat of an odd pair.”
“You are far to prone to violence, Sousuke.” Kurz made a ‘tsk tsk‘ noise as he shook his head.. “Not the type of guy that a sweet… quiet… reserved girl like Kaname deserves.” Kurz winked. “On the other hand, at least she knows that you can take a beating. She might kill a few guys before finding someone else like you!”
“Don’t forget one thing.” Clouzot spoke in a very stern voice. “While a lot of the nonsense that took place at the school when you first arrived was your fault, the really bad stuff that followed was because of her. She’s still Whispered. Just because Amalgam has been put in their place doesn’t mean that someone else won’t pick up the baton, comprendre?”
“ That’s right.” Said, grinning. “If what I hear is true, the one at risk is you.” He still wanted to see what a halisen looked like. The paper fan figured greatly in some of the stories he had heard. “No. The real danger exists for whatever place you stay, or whatever people the two of you hang around.” Knowing what he did, he was only half joking. The burly man was well aware of the situation with the Whispered. His sister was one. That was one of the reasons that he had joined the organization
“Hah! You got that right.” Jorgensen chuckled. “I heard about your adventures at that school. You two do not belong in a civilized country. It is a wonder that the Princpal… no, the Japanese government… didn’t banish you long ago. Perhaps you should buy some jungle property in Africa or South America… build a sturdy shack… and start your own little tribe.” He touched glasses with Sgt. Wailer.
“Not a good idea,” Kurz said, pursing his lips. “The rain forests are endangered as it is. What might happen with a bunch of little Sousuke’s and Kaname’s running loose?”
“That might not be so bad, all things considered. While Kaname Chidori might be bipolar and too unpredictable for my tastes, you could certainly do a lot worse. She is one fine looking young lady.” Sgt. Estrella blew a kiss towards the ceiling. “She’s got the brain of an intellectual, trapped in the body of a runway model or game show hostess.”
“I also think that you could also do a lot better.” Jorgensen spoke seriously this time. “Believe me, it doesn’t hurt to have some stability in your life. If you leave the service again, it might be nice if he could cuddle up with some quiet little piece of fluff.” He tugged at his scraggly beard. “Some little lady that doesn’t have a bulls-eye on her back.”
“He’s got a point, you know.” Sgt. Wailer said. “The girl is quite a looker… but there are other beauties out there. There’s one in the room right now. Mao probably gets wet ever time you step out of your A.S. suit.” He didn’t flinch when he saw Melissa’s glare. He held the only other spice shaker at their table. “I know that the two of you have been through a lot together. But, she’s your first girl. The only one that you let yourself care about. Maybe even the only one who ever paid you much attention. You shouldn’t let something like that cause you to make a choice you might regret.”
“I think you assholes have said enough.” Melissa stood up and put her foot on her chair. He hands went to her hips. Tossing her lit cigarette at Wailer, she spoke in an uncharacteristically maternal manner. “Sousuke’s confused enough as it is.”
“Lighten up, Sis.” Kurz pushed his plate away from him and stood up. “They’re just trying to look out for Sousuke. Nobody wants to see him get hurt.”
“I have been hurt on numerous occasions,” Sousuke stated, standing himself. “It is not a problem.” He was not as confident as he sounded. The words of his comrades had gotten him to thinking.
He didn’t know just what would be best for Kaname, or for himself.
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The rental car was caught up in traffic.
“It’s a good thing that we left early. We wouldn’t want to be late to your graduation.” Shunya Chidori steered around an illegally parked car. “Your speech sounds like it’s coming along well.”
“Daddy!” Ayame sat in the back seat, dressed in a lovely cream-colored dress. The look on her face was far from pretty. “I’ve already heard it about a bazillion times.” She spoke in English, not knowing the Japanese word for ‘bazillion’.
“Well then, I guess I should start over from the beginning.” Kaname grinned, giving her sister a quick smile. “’Well, it’s almost over now…’” She shook her head. “No, that part still doesn’t sound right.”
“Told you!” Ayame turned up her nose.
“Well, I don’t know. It sounds alright to me.” Shunya shrugged. “In any case, as long as you speak from your heart, things should go fine. I know that your mother would have been very proud. Kaname Chidori, Valedictorian of Jindai High School. Accepted at Tokyo University.”
There was a slight catch in the bespectacled man’s voice. Kaname had grown adept at subtle cues. Her father had his heart set on her coming to America with him. He had coerced her into applying to a number of colleges relatively close to his and Ayame’s home. So far she had lucked out. Having promised her father that she would go back with him if she won a scholarship, she could ignore the acceptance letters that she had received so far.
“Yes. You certainly have set the bar high, Kaname.” Shunya smiled. “Ayame, you have your work cut out for you, if you want to do yourself that proud.”
“Great,” Ayame grumped under her breath. “Freaking brainiac.”
“Ayame Chidori!” The car swerved slightly when Shunya spoke. “You should be lucky to be like your sister when you are her age.”
“Geez. I’m just joking, Daddy!” Ayame threw her hands up.
Kaname bit her lip and swallowed hard. Her father’s words had her thinking about the secret that she had never told him or Ayame. Neither knew that she was Whispered. They probably had no idea what that term meant. If by some miracle she did end up getting a scholarship to a college in the States… especially one that gave her a chance to live at home with her family… she would have to break to truth to them. Glancing at her father out of the corner of her eye, she felt a growing sense of guilt.
She should have mentioned something long ago.
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“I believe that this must be the first photograph of Sousuke.” Kurz said.
“Huh? What have you been smoking?” Melissa snapped the picture, taken outside of the graduation site..
“I mean, this must be the first picture where he’s not in some kind of uniform.” Kurz decided to live dangerously. He popped the top on one of Melissa’s beers he had brought with him and took a long pull. She was too busy fussing over Sousuke to take notice, or so he hoped..
“He looks very nice in his school uni. Every guy should be so lucky.” Sgt. Major Mao gave Kurz a haughty look. “You should feel proud, Sousuke. You worked hard to earn this.”
“The uniform?" Sousuke asked. It was hard to tell if she was joking or not.
Kurz grinned. Melissa smacked her forehead, and then smiled. “Very funny. You do look really good, though.”
“I am not certain that I did earn anything.” Sousuke ignored Kurz, who pretended to swoon at the sight of him. “Some of it may be gratitude, as the school personnel and a number of government officials realize that I risked my life to protect Tokyo.” He shook his head. Now was not the time to think about his loss at the hands of Leonard. That might lead him to think about Kaname’s voluntary abduction.
“You should feel proud about that, too.” Tessa put in. She sighed, staring at Sousuke for a moment, before looking away. She thought about the time that she had spent at Jindai High School, feeling a sense of regret, knowing that the buildings were gone. It had been a brief but wonderful experience, much to Cmdr. Mardukas’ dislike.
“I was just doing my duty.” Sousuke stood at attention when Tessa started walked over and began working a flower through his collar. “In the battle… and in my attendance at school.”
“Uh huh. I don’t think it was all duty, was it?” Kurz sulked when he asked Tessa if she had a flower for him, only to hear her say ‘no’. “I doubt anyone ordered you to get close with such a cuddly young thing.” The look he gave a perturbed looking Tessa said ‘next time remember my flower!’
“No. It was not.” Sousuke stepped away from the Mithril van and began to walk across the street.
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“Looks like they went all out.”
Shunya spoke as he turned the wheel, driving where a helmeted policeman signaled him to go. The parking areas were filling up quickly.
“They sure did!” Ayame pointed. Graduation was being held in a large amphitheater. The sides of the building were hung with large rolls of fabric in the school colors. Rows of Greek nude sculptures were clothed in the robes and mortarboards that the students were wearing. Large bunches of flowers were everywhere. The whole city was behind the graduating class of the beleaguered school.
“Yes,” Kaname said. She sounded glum. There was good reason for that. Great waves of guilt washed over her. There had been donations sent in from numerous people. The efforts were all meant to put a bright and happy shine on the day, in an attempt to balance out the tragedy that had befallen the school. Jindai High School had been destroyed because of her. It had been struck in dastardly fashion. Leonard had thought that such a personalized attack would break her will and make her agree to his terms. It hadn’t. As a result, there had been more destruction… more debts laid on her soul. Only when Sousuke had been defeated, and his life was used as a bargaining chip, did she give in.
Sousuke.
Kaname thought of him as she watched one of the police officers assigned to provide security. The man was armed, but with more than a baton or small caliber revolver. There was an SMG slung around his back. Looking up on the roof of nearby buildings, she caught sight of a number of men with rifles. The city was not going to take any chances, it appeared.
Kaname smiled briefly. She wondered what Wraith must be doing, seeing that so many rooftops were being patrolled. Maybe she would dress up as a student and blend in some how. No. It would make more sense forher to simply forge a guest pass and sit in the audience.
Her thoughts went back to Sousuke again. It was his heroism that had won the hearts of their classmates. It had been the petition signed by all of the classes that had allowed him and her back into school. He had gone on to make a confession in front of the assembled school, without actually mentioning Mithril by name. He had confirmed that the terrorists had been after Kaname, but asked everyone to respect her secret. As a result, no one ever asked why they had been after her, not even Kyouko, Ryo, or Maya.
Kaname had wanted to tell everyone. She wanted to bare her soul. But, Sousuke thought it was best not to publicize her special nature. It was bad enough that secret organizations had been after the Black Technology that Whispered carried. What would happen if greedy businessmen or government agencies followed suit?
At least no one thought of her as a freak. They might have, if they knew the truth. As it was, she was still the subject of scorn by some. Sousuke may have destroyed lockers and the like, but Kaname had destroyed the entire school. It was her good fortune that a majority of the students were sympathetic, knowing that Kaname had done nothing wrong herself. She just hoped that the vocal minority would not cause some ugly scene during her speech, or when she walked up to accept her diploma.
She swallowed hard. As much as those issues weighed heavily on her heart, there was something else to worry about. Her father and Ayame knew nothing about Sousuke. No, that wasn’t entirely true. His name had appeared in the media, but Mithril had somehow been able to limit what was said, and how often it was repeated. Her family knew nothing about their relationship. When she had been given permission to live alone in Tokyo, such permission had not come without provisos. One rule had been told to her in no uncertain terms. ‘No Boyfriends’.
“Kaname, why so quiet? And why the long face? This is your big day! Your future starts the moment you walk off the stage.” Her father brought the car to a stop. He straightened his tie as he looked over at his eldest daughter.
“She probably doesn’t want to leave high school,” Ayame piped in, waving her hand as if she was a font of wisdom and experience. “I’ve heard people say that kids should enjoy high school. It’s the best years of their life.”
“Yes, that’s it.” Kaname tried to smile. That answer ought to deflect any more probing from her father or sister. “I had a lot of good times. There are people that I will miss very much.” That much was true. But, it did not wipe away the unspoken truths.
“Well, we all go through that.” Shunya got out of the car and opened the door for Kaname, and then Ayame. “There will be more good times, and new friends. And, there is no reason that you have to forget about your old friends. I’m sure some of them will be in the Tokyo area, if you attend Tokyo University.”
Kaname felt even more on edge. She did not want to think about college at the moment. Things would be hard enough for her if she stayed in Japan. Sousuke had not applied to any schools, and Mithril might no longer have the influence and funds to bring to bear that they once had. He had assured her that she was still under the organizations protection, and said that he had asked Tessa to intercede on his behalf, so that he could find some job or position at any college she attended.
If things worked out for the best, his superiors might allow that, and even find some way to get him enrolled as a student. But, Sousuke was still a valued commodity, even more now than before. The mercenary group was slowly rebuilding its forces, and Sousuke Sagara remained the only pilot capable of operating Arbalest. The ARX-7 was the only Lambda Driver capable Arm Slave in service. A number of enemy Venom craft had been captured, but no pilots had been found in the ranks of available soldiers. In a nutshell, Sousuke could be taken out of her life at the drop of a hat. Either that, or he would resign to be by her side.
That was another huge source of pressure. They had been through a lot together. He meant the world to her, now. They may have shared a lot together, but there was no way to know whether of not she might grow tired of his ways. Sousuke had made great strides, but was still so different.
Something else was nagging at her. After all that had happened, she found herself wanting nothing more to do with Mithril. She knew that she was being irrational and unfair, but any memory of that organization reminded her of Amalgam and the things that they had done. Amalgam also reminded her of the things that she had done, and the things that were done to her. Sousuke would always remind her of Mithril, even if he left the organization.
“Maybe she’s sad about leaving a boyfriend.” Ayame’s sly little jibe struck harder than a cruise missile.
Kaname froze in mid step. It looked as if she were about to fall over. Her face grew warm, and she hoped beyond hope that she wasn’t blushing. “N-No… of course not… ah hah hah hah hah hah hah…” She swallowed hard. Her father may not know what that laugh meant, but his antennas would be up now. She had to be very careful. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Was that a lie? She and Sousuke held hands wherever they went. They had grown closer, and she had found herself thinking about him more and more. No, it was more than that. She had no choice to be honest with herself. She was in love with that scruffy idiot. There was a very good chance that he felt the same way, as much as he might understand such feelings. But, they had never actually professed their feelings to one another. No one at school spoke of them as a couple, at least not when either of them could her. The two of them had never even kissed, much less done anything more intimate.
“I know we had our rule,” Shunya said, taking off his glasses to polish them. “And, I would be very impressed if you managed to follow it all these years.” He put his glasses on and looked over at Kaname. “But, I would understand if you acted like any other young woman.”
“Daddy?” Kaname’s eyes widened.
“I was a teenager too, Kaname. I guess that was one reason I made the rule in the first place. I knew all to well what went on with some boys and girls.” Shunya brushed some lint off of his tailored suit. “I didn’t want you distracted. I worried that your grades would suffer. But, her you are, Valedictorian.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m very proud.”
“Me too!” Ayame chirped, feeling left out.
Shunya’s face grew more serious for a moment. “I also didn’t want to see you get hurt, pumpkin.”
Ayame snickered. ‘Pumpkin’. It was just too funny! She stopped smiling, and not because of the look that her sister gave her. She had her own pet names.
“I’m OK, Daddy.” Kaname had to fight back tears. She hadn’t really every been OK, after she learned about her curse. The only good thing bout being Whispered had been the feelings that she developed for Sousuke. But, to be honest, she would gladly trade him for a chance to be a normal woman and lead a normal life. That truth made her feel small and weak, as well as ungrateful. In any case, there was no going back. There was no cure for her condition. “It wasn’t easy, but I got through it all.” She had. But, there had been more than just school to deal with. “It wasn’t like junior high.”
That was true. She had seriously thought about killing herself then. That was worse than being in danger of being killed. Her friends at Jindai had been a big help. She truly would miss them.
Sousuke had helped her too, in ways she hadn’t fully realized at first. She had stumbled on a number of truths during the parts of her captivity where she had time on her hands and nothing to do but think. Yes. She had done a lot of soul searching then. ‘That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ might explain a lot of her earlier experience with a certain clueless sergeant. It also held true for the hard times they suffered during the fighting between Mithril and Amalgam. But, Sousuke had also touched her heart in ways she had never allowed before. It was quite possible that no one else… and nothing else… might have gotten her to lower those walls completely.
What should she do? Should she admit her relationship with Sousuke to her father? How was she going to handle seeing him today? He had wanted to be by her side when possible, but she had told him not too, because her family would be there. That had hurt him… she was sure of it. But he had done what he always does.
He placed her first, and did so without complaining or sulking. He was so different. But, in his own way, he was so wonderful. She would never have to question his courage. There would never be reason to wonder about his loyalty or faithfulness. How many other people could have gone through what he did as a child, only to turn out the way he had? With all that he had done to stand up for her, shouldn’t she do the same for him? Wasn’t it her obligation to stand by his side, telling everyone how she felt about him? Why was she such a coward in this?
Maybe because she wondered if she was good enough for him. No. Her pride wouldn’t let her believe that, ant least not entirely. It was more than that. She was scared that she would lose him some day, juts like she had lost her mother. She didn’t want to go through that kind of pain again. No. There was more than that, too. Without her, Sousuke might walk away from Mithril some day, finding the peace he never had in his life. If he stayed by her, what kind of true peace could he ever hope for?
“Yes, you’ve come a long way, pumpkin. In many ways.” Shunya looped his arm through Kaname’s. He looked down at Ayame with a fond grin when she scrambled to do the same thing on his other side. “I wish you could have had a better childhood. But, you have so much to look forward to.”
Kaname nodded her head, unable to speak.
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“Ooops…”
Tessa stepped funny in her new high heels. She ended up on her keister, sliding down he steps leading to the seating area.
“Captain!” Sousuke moved quickly to help her, giving her his hand. He cocked his head, wondered why the girl looked the way that she did. It wasn’t a grimace of pain, or a blush of embarrassment. Oh. “I mean Tessa.”
“Did you push her, Sousuke?” Kurz said, in mock severity. “Only to get a look up her skirt? Naughty boy. I’m proud of you!” He smiled at his Captain. “Nice panties, Tessa. You… owwww…”
Melissa smacked Kurz in the head. She then pushed him down the stairs, grinning a satisfied grin when he bowled over a police officer. He would need some of his famous fast-talking to get out of that one.
Sousuke began to sweat. Not because it was a hot day. Not because his uniform made him overly warm. No, everyone in the vicinity was staring in their direction. Some of the people nearby were students. They simple smiled and looked away. Their faces clearly said ‘Oh, it’s only Sousuke’. He didn’t want anything to go wrong today. Not just for himself, but for the entire school. Everyone had been through enough already. Especially Kaname.
He thought about her. She should be arriving soon, if she wasn’t already in the building. Her speech would come before everything else, just after the Principal and Superintendent said their opening words.
“They are nice panties, aren’t they?” Melissa whispered in Sousuke’s ear. She watched his face closely, and then smiled a large smile seeing his reaction. “It’s OK. I won’t tell Tessa… or Kaname…”
“Uhhh…” Sousuke began to sweat even more. Unable to help himself, he looked over at Tessa. Immediately thereafter, he scanned the crowd for Kaname.
“You really are such a kid,” Melissa laughed, a fond look on her face. She leaned over and kissed Sousuke on the cheek. “We may have a strange way of showing it at times, but we really are proud of you. In many ways.” She looked down below, watching Kurz wave his arms as he spoke to the disgruntled officers. “As much as he tries to hide things, I think that Kurz is the proudest of all.”
“Thank you,” Sousuke answered, not certain how he should feel, and unable to understand just what he was feeling.
“So, what’s got you all nervous?” Melissa watched as a number of students who recognized Tessa came over to speak with her. A number of boys were knocking people aside to reach her side. “I know it’s not Tessa’s panties. Is it because you’re here, with so many people? Is it because you’re sort of a minor celebrity, or because you will always remind these people of the things that happened to this city?” She paused and thought a moment. “Are you worried what your future holds?”
Melissa thought back to her own high school days. She remembered her family’s insistence that she join the military rather than attend college. She wondered what her life might have held, if she had stood up to them at that point. Maybe she would have left then, instead of fleeing a marriage ceremony she never really wanted. She hoped that Sousuke would have a chance to choose his own path at some point. She would be happy if he chose Mithril, But, what she wanted most was for him to find some happiness of his own.
“Affirmative. It may be some of that. I am not really certain.” Sousuke ran a hand through his hair, and then frowned. Tessa had made a big deal about combing it for him. He’d be in trouble with her now. That is, if the crowd around her ever dispersed. “I’m just…” The word he was looking for was ‘confused’. If not that, then ‘worried’ or ‘uncertain’.
“Is it Kaname?” Melissa nodded when she saw her subordinate’s reaction. She forced herself not to lash out violently, when someone passing her on the stairs ran his hand along her backside. It might have been accidental. No. That subsequent grope wasn’t. “Excuse me.” That was said to Sousuke, not the middle-aged man with a paunch that bent over in pain, Melissa’s elbow iimpacting his abdomen. “Where was I?”
Sousuke remained silent. He watched as Kurz pantomimed a knee injury to a group of policemen. He could barely catch the false French accent that his friend used. It was the same one he had affected when approaching Kaname and Kyouko at the start of the Tokyo mission. Those days seemed so long ago. For some reason that he didn’t understand, the memory seemed precious to him.
“I know that Kaname has been acting strangely around you lately. But it’s more than that, right?” Melissa gave Sousuke a piercing stare. She wanted to get to the bottom of this, in case she could say something that might make Sousuke feel more at ease. “You’re not worried that someone might launch an attack tonight, are you? The area is secure. Tessa was able to assign some Mithril forces as well. Clouzot is somewhere nearby in a cloaked M9.”
“It is not that.” Sousuke had given a disguised agent his weapons bag. It would be secreted underneath the stage. He stared at Melissa in her dress for a moment. He thought back to a time when she wore a different dress. He remembered the rush of adrenalin that he had felt behind the wheel of the small Fiat, as Mao stood up through the sun roof and Kurz leaned out a broken back window. They had waged a gun battle through the streets of Sicily, chased by a number of cars. He hoped that nothing like that happened today. He doubted it would, despite the fact that remnants of Amalgam had survived, and he and his companions had made a lot of enemies outside of the large terrorist groups that they had fought.
Despite all of the danger he had faced, he counted himself very fortunate to have found a family. That’s what Kurz and Melissa were to him. Family. He didn’t want to think about leaving that family; but, that’s what most of the students here today would do, once they made their way to college. Family would still be family, despite that. He did not need to worry about that, too. He already had too much on his mind as it was.
“Do you feel pressured to take some big step in your relationship? Is that why you are so intent on asking her out on an actual date?” Melissa placed her hands together and cracked her knuckles. “Are you afraid that she might simply forget you, once she gets into college? Or, are you worried that HQ might drag your ass away from her for good, forcing you to make a very tough decision?”
“No. I had made that decision before. You are well aware of this.” Sousuke thought back to when he had threatened to leave Mithril, angering General Amitt. He remembered setting out on his own to rescue Kaname, leaving Mithril because he was acting against orders. He had later rejoined at Mithril’s request, not his own.
“Are you worried about meeting her family? Her father?” Melissa pursed her lips together when she saw Sousuke set his jaw. “Worried that Daddy won’t approve of you as her boyfriend?” Her fingers twitched. She imaged herself grabbing Shunya Chidori by the collar and shaking some sense into him.
“There is nothing to worry about in that regard.” Sousuke’s words came out quickly, with an angry grunt. “I will be introduced in the same fashion that any other random friend might be. She will not purposefully seek me out for such a greeting.”
“What?” Melissa’s features darkened. Her hand twitched. She shook her head when her hand went to where her combat knife would have been, had she not been dressed in a fancy sequined gown. “How can she…” She scowled. She saw Kurz pointing in her direction. She clearly made out the word ‘pushed’ on his lips. He was asking for trouble. “Do you want me to have a talk with her?”
Sousuke shook his head. “No. I thank you for your concern. This is something for Kaname to deal with. It is never good to push her.” Sousuke spoke sternly. “It is never good to push anyone, it seems.”
The police were walking up the stairs in their direction. Kurz walked behind them smiling. He gave Melissa the finger before blowing her a kiss. “I seem to need to use the ladies room,” Melissa said, not feeling like talking with the authorities. “I’ll catch your ceremony when it starts.” With that, she vanished into the crowd as if she had never been there.
Standing alone, Sousuke took everything in. The building. The surging mass of humanity. The decorations. The loud buzz from countless conversations.
He didn’t catch any sight of Kaname.
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“I can see the future that awaits us. And, that makes me say ‘Wait, don’t go!’”
Kaname shook her head. It still didn’t sound right. The point she wanted to make was fine. The high school years were wonderful in their way. No doubt they would all wish to return to such a carefree time. Those that had such a luxury, that is.
“Yes, I like that.” Shunya raised an eyebrow looking over at Ayame, who was busy shaking her head and wincing.
“You do?” Kaname looked incredulous. “It sounds kind of corny, doesn’t it?”
“Yup!” Ayame slapped her hands together, causing her big sister to jump. “Cheesy too.”
“It’s fine. It shows a sense of humor. Everyone will be able to relate to it.” Shunya put on a straight face. “Besides, at this kind of thing, people expect the speech to be… “ He grinned when Kaname made her ‘hmmmpppfff’ noise.
“Yeh,” Ayame said. “They won’t be disappointed. Well, they will in some ways…” It was fun, joking with her sister. She was very proud of her, but it wasn’t time to let her know that yet.
Kaname reached over a railing, grabbed a copy of the program, rolled it up, and smacked Ayame lightly on the head. For a moment, she froze, thinking about her halisen, and how freely she used to chastise Sousuke with it. A lump formed in her throat. “That’s it, you little troublemaker.” She swung again, but her sister ducked, stepping on a portly woman’s foot in the process. Kaname held off while Ayame apologized. While she waited, she chose a different strategy. “Daddy, what is Ayame’s pet name now?”
“Hmmm. What? Oh.” Shunya grinned. “Well, the newest one is sweet pea.” His eyes showed his amusement when Ayame shouted ‘hey!’
“Sweet pea? That’s so great. I think that’s how I’ll introduce her to my teachers and friends.” Kaname smirked. Looking at her father, she shook her fist at him. “What’s with the vegetables, though? Come on Daddy, enter the twenty-first century. Sheeesh.”
“Old habits die young, I suppose.” Shunya sighed. “Your mother started that. I just…” He shrugged. It was hard for him, a day like this. He would have given everything he had, just to have Shizu here today. “She would be very proud of you, you know.”
“Yes, I know.” Kaname looked up at the cloud-filled sky. She too wished that her mother was still alive. Not just for the obvious reasons, however. Now, with so many decisions awaiting her, she could use a woman’s advice more than anything.
Shunya wordlessly adjusted ran a pin on Kaname's blouse. It had belonged to her grandmother, who had also finished first in her class. “Looks like it’s time for us to find our seats. The Principal is signaling for you.”
Kaname kissed her father, mussed Ayame’s hair, and then walked off on her own. As she was approaching the stage, she heard a whistle. Looking over, she saw Kurz Weber standing on the back of his chair waving his jacket to get her attention. When an arm swept out, knocking him to his seat, she was able to see Melissa Mao and… Tessa. Smiling, she waved back. She was happy for Sousuke that he had someone coming to see him graduate. She was even glad to see that the little Captain had come along.
Heading over to a spot just to the side of the lectern, she scanned the group of students from her class. Most smiled or waved. Sousuke, of course, saluted. The more things change, the more they stay the same!
She stopped a moment to stare at him, before looking away and taking her place.
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“Hey, Sagara!”
Ono tugged on Sousuke’s sleeve.
“Yes?” Sousuke heard excitement in his friend’s voice, not fear or concern. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself.
“Party at my place, tomorrow night. You gotta be there, man. A number of girls have be asking if you’d show up. You got the invitation, didn’t you?” The young man looked honestly hopeful.
“Uhhh…” Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck. He was gratified and confused by his friend’s invitation. It was hard to believe that so many people changed their opinions of him. “Large envelope? Unmarked? Red stain on one corner?”
“Yeh. I spilled some juice on some of them. Oh…” Ono’s eyes widened. “Are you saying… damn… you didn’t blow it up, did you?”
“Affirmative.” Sousuke shrugged. Kaname hadn’t entirely broken him of that habit.
“You’re one of as kind, man. One of a kind.” The young man slapped Sousuke on the back. After that, he looked over at Kaname, fidgeting as she awaited her turn to speak. “Don’t you think Kaname looks hot there, standing there?"
“Hot? I would not be surprised. It is a warm evening.” Sousuke was still clueless in many ways.
“Geez. You’re going to have to wise up, man. We’re not boys anymore. We’re men!” Ono went to whisper Sousuke’s response to everyone within earshot. The loud laughter caused the principal look in their direction. The look on her face made it clear that she would find some way to make them pay, even if they wouldn’t be part of her school any more. Everyone quieted immediately.
“I have a great honor in introducing the next speaker.” There was no artifice in the Principal’s voice. She had gone through difficult times due to Kaname and Sousuke, even before the Amalagam episode; but, she didn’t hold any grudges. “She did a wonderful job as Student Council Vice President, and served ably as a Class Representative. Aside from that, she was a star on the girl’s softball team, and did tremendous work as a booster for other sports.”
“She also got our school destroyed, and caused a number of good kids to get hurt. Not to mention… awwwww….”
There was a clearly audible thud. Kaname forced herself to remain still. She was not going to look behind her. As such, she did not see Sousuke step back into his place, sliding his pistol back into hispocket. She also didn’t realize that the surrounding students spared little sympathy for the lout who had spoken, but were instead patting Sousuke on the back and calling out their ‘attaboys’.
Nevertheless, despite her attempt at decorum, Kaname flashed a quick smile. It grew larger when she heard Melissa whistle loudly. Forcing herself to look serious again, she wondered what she would have done in the past. No doubt she would have flown up the sturdy risers, taken Sousuke by the collar, and thrown him clear off of the stage. So this was growing up….
The Principal decide to cut her introduction short. “I now present to you, Kaname Chidori, Valedictorian of the graduating class.
As the polite round of applause died down, Kaname walked over to the lectern and adjusted the microphone. She took a deep breath before speaking. For a moment, images from her ordeal flashed before her eyes. The last image was that of Jindai High School, laying in ruin. Shaking her head, she tried to purposely remember much better times.
It was time for her speech.
“The real world. Just what is the real world?” Kaname automatically scanned the crowd, looking for familiar faces, and trying to get an idea of the audience’s reaction to her. “If you ask any one of us here whether or not we lived in the real world, they would look at you and wonder if you were crazy or something.”
“You got that right!” Some wit cried out from the class. A sudden grunt and thud suggested that Sousuke was at work again.
“We’re all about to enter the Real World, in a sense, even though some of the things that we’ve been through have been all too real.” Kaname kept her chin up. Memories of Khanka, the Pacific Christmas, and the more recent events sprang up before her. She saw a universal look of understanding on the faces in the crowd.
“Whose fault is… oooooooh…” That speaker had been in the crowd. A rather self-satisfied Kurz Weber made his way back to his seat. He wasn’t the only one to scold the rude man. The people in the gathering were willing to let Kaname speak, even if most of them wondered just who and what she was.
“I have gotten a good idea of what our futures will look like. I have sat in courses at a local University. I have seen some of the things that face our parents and their peers. All I can say is ‘Don’t Go’! And as we walk together into that future, I want to shout ‘Go back’!”
Sousuke stared at Kaname. He knew exactly what she meant. He felt the same way himself. After years of living one kind of life, he had found something different and better at Jindai High School, even though things hadn’t started off that way. Now, it was all over. Looking at his fellow students, he saw many of them nodding their heads.
“It’s almost over. It’s almost all done.” Kaname’s voice cracked for a moment, but she continued without missing a beat. “We’ve gone through a lot together. Our time in school had provided us with rigorous training, arming us for the battle ahead.” Kaname fought the urge to turn back and salute Sousuke. Her words were not otaku. They were practical and profound. She frowned when she heard a number of students mention Sousuke by name. “Just the same, we have to ask, what’s going to happen to us?”
Sousuke was not entirely surprised to find that his hands were clenched. He wondered if Kaname was sending him some kind of message with her speech. No. That would not be necessary. The words held true for any and all of them there on the stage.
Kaname looked over at her father. He nodded his head and clapped his hands together silently. Next to him, Ayame folded her arms across her chest and stuck her nose in the air. “Some of the answers may seem simple. All of us what to be happy, right? Most of us are on our way to college. The guys are probably thinking about getting a car. The girls might be thinking about raising a family. It’s all rather exciting.” Kaname placed her hands on the side of the podium, steadying herself.
“Hell yeh!” Someone called out. That did not prompt a reprimand from Sousuke.
“For those that know me,” Kaname continued. “I am a very ambitious person. Despite the things that I have been through, I remain hopeful and optimistic. Still, I can’t help but find myself trembling sometimes. There is no guarantee that any of those things we hope for will come to be. When I think about the future….” She gripped the lectern as if she were holding onto wreckage after a boating accident. “When I think about the future, I am really… scared…”
Sousuke read many things into that statement. Kaname had more things to be frightened about than most other people had. Her future was more uncertain than anyone else’s, possibly even his own. As Kaname continued on with her speech, he spoke quietly.
“I would protect you, Kaname.”
