[FIC] Endings and Beginnings (part 10)
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 11:01 pm
“Urzu 7, are you there. Do you read?”
Sousuke sat in his room. All the lights were off. Sunlight had begun peaking through a broken slat in his blinds.
“Urzu 7, what is your situation. The channel is open. Do you copy?”
He stared at the communications console. The blinking lights seemed to blur and then come into focus again. After wiping away a stray tear, he could see perfectly again. But, what was the point?
“Urzu 7, contact was initiated on your end. If you do not request otherwise, we will radio for assistance on site. Urzu 7, come in.”
Sousuke stood up. He stretched and then worked on a kink in his neck. As much as he might be hurting, that was his problem. There was no reason to inconvenience others.
“This is Urzu 7. I read you. Status green. I repeat green. There is no emergency and no imminent danger. Please connect me to Urzu 2 or Urzu 6.”
“Roger Urzu 7.” The communications officer muted the line. When a voice spoke again. It was Melissa. “Sousuke, is there something wrong?”
“I…it… apologies… this is improper use of military equipment.” Sousuke stated. “It is nothing that I cannot handle… there is no need to burden you with this…”
“F-ck that.” Melissa spoke firmly. “We’re a team, Sousuke. If I had a problem… and you could help me… I would know just what to expect. I hope you understand by now, it goes both ways.”
“I… it… affirmative.” Sousuke was quiet for a moment. He could hear the sound of a garbage truck down the street. “My mind is somewhat clouded… I have not gotten any sleep… I walked for hours.”
“Shit! I was afraid of something like this. Why do I have to right… all… the… f-cking… time?!“ There was a pause. “OK, Sousuke. Let’s start from the beginning. Tell me what’s wrong? Is it something about Kaname?” Melissa’s voice said that she already knew the answer.
“Yes.” Sousuke paused. For a moment, he thought back to Hong Kong. He had left the school, almost certain that he would never return. He had not told Kaname. He had not even left her a note. Was this all that different? “To be succinct, Kaname met me when I landed. She indicated that she had read my letter. I informed her… I told her that I love her.” He looked up at the ceiling. “She also said that the meeting would be the last that I see of her.”
“Damn it! OK, listen up and pay attention, Sousuke. It will be alright. Trust me. It may hurt real bad for a while, but it will get better.” Melissa spoke quietly, a rarity for her. “Maybe a clean break like this will heal better.”
“It is foolish. I understand that. Kaname will be departing in a few weeks, regardless. But it… I did not know what to do… it was difficult to think…… I was crying…” Sousuke felt no shame in making that admission. “I tried to think of some way that she could stay… but it is not my decision…” He walked over to the window and looked outside. “This is difficult…”
“I’ll talk to Tessa. We’ll arrange for you to come back tonight, or tomorrow at the latest. But, you won’t have to make any kind of major decision o this trip. I’ll make sure of that.” Melissa knew that Sousuke as a soldier would be reassigned, now that his assignment was over. But, he was in no condition to make any choices like that now.
“Thank you.”
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The wind blew a mist of rain under the roof of the balcony.
Kaname looked off into the distance, almost oblivious to the way her hair stuck to the side of her neck. She wondered what Sousuke was doing. It was something that she had done before when he was away on missions. How long would she do it now?
“Be well, Sousuke…” She whispered. “I love you too…” Why couldn’t she have told him that? Three simple words. She had said ‘I’ to him many times. “She had used ‘you’ more times than anyone could count. She had used the word ‘love’ as well. So, why wasn’t she able to put them together, one after the other, in the proper order?
The crash of thunder off in the distance reminded her of explosions. Explosions reminded her of Sousuke. It was amazing how many things did that now that she would never see him again.
“Maybe he can visit me.” she told herself. “Maybe I can come back to Tokyo on break.”
Those were nice fantasies. But, if she wasn’t in Tokyo, there was no reason for Sousuke to stay there. Regardless, she hoped that he would decide to go to college somewhere, taking Mithril up on their offer. If he went back to that submarine full time, he would see more missions. More missions meant a greater chance of being wounded. If he was in situations where he could be wounded, he would be in places where he could be killed.
“”It’s not my fault…”
If she had followed through on her original plan, attending Tokyo University at the Komaba Campus, Sousuke could have stayed with her, whether or not he matriculated. He wouldn’t be caught up in nearly as many dangerous missions. Her father and sister wouldn’t be in danger because of her. She herself would be safer.
The rain was falling harder now. Kaname watches as the raindrops struck the balcony railing, splashing water this way and that, depending on which way the wind gusts were blowing. It was almost hypnotic. Before she knew it, she was thinking back over the times that she and Sousuke had shared. She spent a lot of time reliving the intimacy they had shared.
It was hard to believe that they had done that. She had always been the idol at school, the girl that everyone might admire, but no one wanted as a girlfriend. It was Sousuke who came to see her as something different. He had been the otaku that everyone laughed at or avoided, the boy that left his classmates in stitches literally. She had been the one to change that.
Was she wrong to do what she had done in the car that night? She really did care about Sousuke. She was certain that he cared about her. There was no one else that she would have wanted to be her first true love. So, no regrets. No, that wasn’t true. Their moment of discovery should have been the start of something, not the end.
“Kaname, what are you doing outside. You’re soaking wet. Come in before you catch your death of cold.” Her father stood at the door leading out to the balcony.
“If you’re going to stay out here, you can use my umbrella.” Ayame held a folded parasol decorated in a Bonta-kun motif.
Kaname didn’t answer. She stood staring off into the distance. The rain water on her face helped disguise her tears.
“Kaname… the umbrella….” Ayame opened it up and held it out. She looked up at her father when Kaname didn’t move.
“Let’s go inside now, Ayame.” Shunya took one last look at Kaname before heading back inside. He hung his head, thinking of his wife Shizu. He didn’t want to lose his daughter too. But, he had to do what was best for her in the long run, even if it meant hurting her now. He had to do what was best for the family, even if it meant using methods that he wasn’t proud of.
The thunder came again, much louder this time. The sheer strength of the concussion rattled the windows.
Kaname sighed. Thunder reminded her of explosions.
Explosions reminded her of Sosuke.
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The walkway overlooking the hangar deck was lined by soldiers.
Standing, sitting with their legs dangling between the railings, or sitting against the sidewall, the SRT members, support crew, and aviators were exclusively male. Those that weren’t on call were drunk to the last man.
This was an important occasion. It was cause for celebration that the TDD-1 had pulled back into dock. But, it was more than that. This was for Sousuke Sagara, blooded member of the Tuatha Da Danaan’s Special Response Team, and victim of love.
“You should have known that the relationship was doomed,” Lt. Valkovic waved a bottle of “Putin” vodka above his head, and then sloshed some into Souske’s glass. “You would have been better off with a good Lithuanian male-order bride.”
“Yes.” Sousuke was not one to drink. As such, he had no ability to hold his liquor.
“Shit! The girl broke up with you after you poured your heart out in a letter?” Chief Petty Officer Rohrbaugh looked up from his game of Cribbage. “Women!”
“Yes.” Sousuke tipped his glass up, spilling more than he drank.
“No babe is worth it, man. Hang with us Sergeant, and we’ll teach you what you need to know.” Ensign Ramirez, one of the Weapons Officers aboard ship, worked with a pair of small free weights.
“Yes.” Sousuke answered. He was in no condition to think. That answer was good enough for everything.
“Right. You can't trust them. You know why? They spend your money, and they tell their friends everything, man.” Ordinance Technician Smithers grabbed for Lt. Valkovic’s bottle and missed.
“I will tell you what will help,” Sgt. Estrella said with a wicked grin. “You need to find a girl who looks just like her…nail her… and then dump her. It will get her off your mind.”
“Uhhh…” Sousuke wasn’t so drunk that he would answer that one ‘Yes’.
“That girl was nothing but a show pony. You’re a stallion.” Chief Engineer Geveden said. “You walk with us, and you’ll walk tall. You hang in there. Keep your head up. You’re a damn good man. Don’t ever let a woman bring you down.” Geveden slapped Sousuke on the back. “I’ve got to take my leave. I’m up for engine room watch.”
“Yes” Sousuke said, saluting. Was that someone he was supposed to salute? It didn’t matter.
“Sure you don’t want a drink, Chief?” Valkovic held the bottle up. “None of us will tell.” He shrugged when the Engineer grunted and left.
“Bitches, man!” Ensign DeAngelo said. He was one of the men who needed to abstain from the libations. He had to content himself with the food that the cooks snuck out of the galley. “Where’d she dump you, man?”
“Yes.” Sousuke was stuck on that word.
“Shit. You sound like you need more to drink,” De Angelo said. “Where did that girl dump you, man?”
“When I got off the helicopter.” Sousuke braced himself with his arm against the railing. “Flew out to see her. Told her I love her. Before she went away.”
“Bitches!” Sgt. Yan said, cradling a bottle of Chinese wine, a bitter drink that none of the other men would touch. “Baht po!”
Everyone stopped whatever they were doing to look at the diminutive Arm Slave Pilot. No one could remembering Yan drinking a single drop of alcohol in the past.
“You never had a chance with a girl like that,” Supply Officer Schemmann said, wishing he had a chance with a girl like that. “Better to learn that sooner than later!”
“I have been in love a number of times. I got hurt really bad. I never wanna go through that again. Don‘t cross the stream to find water, right?” Master Machinist Jorgensen frowned, looking down at his drink. “Need more to drink, Sergeant?”
“Yes.” Sousuke said. He looked down at his drink. Somehow it always seemed full.
“Hey! You guys are all bringing me down!” Sgt. Wailer claimed. “C’mon, we should cheer the boy up, not bring everyone else down.” He took the drink from Sousuke’s hand and placed it on the floor.
“Shut up man.” Lt. Valkovic put his arm around Sousuke’s shoulders. “We're going to find him a girl. We're going to find him a woman. We're going to find him one hot-lipped shliundra.”
“Uhhh…” Sousuke thought about Kaname. He pictured her face. She wouldn’t like it if he found a hot-lipped whatever, would she?
“I’m certain a bunch of us could arrange for leave at the same time,” Kurz walked up, sober. “I know that some of you gentleman have found some very nice spots.”
“Ahhh… the girls in windows on the street right next to Gare Du Nord in Brussels,” one seaman said.
“Cruising the Castellana in Madrid… mmm, yes…” Sgt. Estrella sighed, reminiscing.
“Walletjes, Singel, and de Pijp. Amsterdam's Red Light Districts. Half naked young women standing in the storefronts, revealing their assets.” Jorgensen added. “Good Stroopwaffels, too!”
“Tel Aviv, the brothel capital of the world,“ Ensign DeAngelo said. “Temporary wives in Iran. And who hasn’t heard about Thailand?”
“Have you been to any of those places?” Sgt Estrella said with a knowing smile.
“Well… no… at least not yet…” De Angelo admitted. He frowned when some of the seamen laughed at him.
Kurz walked over to Sousuke, a serious look on his face. He helped his friend to stand. “Well, it looks like there are plenty of places you can find a woman. Is that what you want?” While Kurz was more talk than action, he had been through his share of drunken indiscretions after his girlfriend ran off with her doctor. He wouldn’t wish that on his friend, no matter how many times he had joked about things in the past.
“Uhhh… I…” Sousuke shook his head.
“It doesn’t have to be prostitutes, you know. I’m certain you can find women eager for a night or two with someone like you.” Kurz added. “It’s a mercenary soldier’s appeal. Right, guys?”
“Hell yeh!” A number of people answered at once.
“I do not think I will meet someone like Kaname Chidori I those places.” Sousuke felt numb. He looked at Kurz. “I don’t know why she would not see me again. I want to know what my words meant to her. I need to know how she felt about me.” Sousuke felt a sudden burst of anger. “She won’t talk to me any more. She won’t look at me any more. Why?” he threw a glass against the wall.
“Whoa man…what's happening to you?” Schemmann asked.
“Hey, you're freaking out, mon. Take it easy.” Sgt. Wailer walked over to stand near Sousuke. SRT members were a tight knit group, and even the newer members looked after the others.
“You've gotta get her out of your head, guy.” Jorgensen asserted.
“Listen. I can set you up with any girl at the base. Just look at the directory and name a babe. I’ll set you up with her.” Sgt. Estrella was dead serious. That was his way of helping. It worked for him.
“Kaname Chidori.” Sousuke said firmly.
Estrella shrugged. Wailer looked at Kurz who nodded his head. Valkovic, on his third bottle, walked over to join the group. It was time to bring Sousuke back to his cabin and start sobering him up.
There was a loud sound of metal on metal. Someone had swung one of the large Arm Slave diagnostic probes against the wall. When everyone looked down from their elevated perch, they saw Melissa Mao glaring up at them.
“What a bunch of pathetic assholes,” Melissa said, making it a point to single out Kurz and give him a flippant wave of her hand. “We return from patrol, and you bastards break out the booze.”
”But… we’re officially off duty for now… and…” One of the younger seamen stammered, worried that they had been busted. He had been diligent. He had checked the duty roster.
“You guys are in deep shit!” Melissa asserted. “Someone forgot to invite me.”
“I was just about to,” Kurz called down. “I was going to send Valkovic over to piss on your cabin door.” Kurz thumbed his nose at Melissa. “But, you probably would have pulled him into the room and had your way with him.”
“Tu avigalvi!” Lt. Valkovic shook a fist at Kurz.
“Bitches!” Yan had regained consciousness long enough to call out that word.
Melissa marched up the long flight of metal stairs, pushed her way past a number of seamen, and made her way to Kurz. “Is this what you call taking care of Sousuke?”
“Relax, Sis. Don’t get your knickers in a knot.” Kurz didn’t smile his usual insolent smile. Oh. We’re in port now. You’re probably not wearing any.”
“No knickers…” Sousuke muttered.
“Shit!” Melissa looked at Sousuke and sighed. She had been in a similar situation numerous times. Heart-broken and drunk. She hoped that her young teammate wouldn’t give up on the idea of love like she had.
“Our boy’s a man now, Babe.” Kurz said. “And, he’s a full on bonded member of the crew after this.” He obviously thought that was a good thing in its own right. “He has a right to make his own decisions.”
“Really? I don’t think that dragging his ass on some f-cking cargo plane and flying him out to some gang bang house is what he needs, do you?” Melissa sounded fiercely protective.
“It doesn’t matter what I think. It doesn’t matter what you think. It matters what he thinks.” Kurz grabbed hold of Sousuke’s sleeve, just in time to keep him from backing up and tumbling down the stairs. “He’s heard the guys talk. He talked with you before he began drinking. He knows what options he has. He needs to decide what he wants.”
“Kaname….” Sousuke shook his head. He was tried to regain his sobriety through force of will. It didn’t work.
“Damn. I don’t like it when you start making sense,” Melissa said. “Especially when I’m not drunk when that happens.” She cursed when she looked at Sousuke. “After I talk with him some more, it’s your job to clean him up. We’re not the only ones who want to talk with him. The word about his dumping will be everywhere with so many drunken shit heads wandering around.”
“I was kind of afraid of that…” Kurz looked somewhat sheepish, even though the drinking hadn’t been his idea.
“Tessa may want to speak with him. Kalinin, too.” Melissa wrinkled up her nose. “Maybe even Mardukas.”
“Shit…” Sousuke flinched.
Melissa pulled Sousuke aside. “How are you holding out?”
“It is not a problem,” Sousuke said. “No. It is a problem. I should not have done this.” He pulled at his uniform shirt. It was still wet with alcohol. “I need to be stronger…”
“It’s OK. Don’t knock yourself around because of this. We’ve all been through this, even Clouzot. You can bet that Kalinin has, too.” Melissa knew how much Sousuke respected those two men. “Hell, I even saw Tessa down a couple of Martinis once.” She was not going to tell him who she was crying over.
“No. My assault on the world begins now. Believe in myself. Answer to no one…” Sousuke set his jaw.
“You mean like before?” Melissa asked.
“It… uhhh…” Sousuke ran a hand through his head.
“I know how much the girl means to you, Sousuke. I can guess how much you’re hurting. She’s probably hurting just as much. Maybe even more, because she had to be the one who pulled the plug.” Melissa watched as the truth of that statement hit her friend.
“But…”
“You gave her a lot. Don’t ever think that you didn’t. But, she gave you something too.” Melissa scowled. She had an audience. The other members of the SRT were listening in. All except a snoring Sgt. Yan. They quickly looked away or pretended to gather up their things. “You’re a better man than you were before. I want you to think about that. If you don’t, I’m going to kick Kurz’ ass until my foot hurts.”
Kurz opened his mouth to make one of his usual comebacks, but decided to remain quiet.
“I… uhhh…” Sousuke set his jaw. He looked defiant.
“Kurz, get your ass over here.” Melissa spoke as if she were giving an order. Kurz walked over with some trepidation. Melissa would do anything to help Sousuke.
Sousuke looked over at Kurz. He saw his teammate give him a pleading look. “It might make him a better man…”
Melissa smiled. “I don’t think anything will do that.”
“That’s right, Babe. You can’t improve on perfection. Oh yeh!” Kurz struck a runway pose.
“Crap…” Sousuke muttered loud enough for the SRT group to hear. Everyone but Kurz chuckled or laughed.
“I think the boy’s going to be alright,” Valkovic said, tapping his last bottle against Estrella’s glass.
“Yes, I believe so.” Estrella winked at Sousuke. “If he wants, I can still get him a girl.” He blew Melissa a kiss when she gave him a nasty look.
“No. You can’t improve on perfection…” Sousuke sighed, thinking about Kaname again.
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“The tea is almost ready.”
Tessa worked to fix tea for Sousuke, thinking back to a time when she had done the same thing for Kaname. It was ironic, really. Back then, she had her heart set on him, and had hinted that she and Sousuke had a relationship that was closer than Captain and subordinate. Kaname had realized her feelings later than she had, but won the prize any way.
She thought back to the Pacific Christmas mission. She remembered the way that she had felt around Sousuke. She had come out and asked him something, dreading to hear the answer she thought would be coming.
‘Sagara-san’
‘Yes, ma'am’
‘Do you love Kaname-san?’
‘I believe it is affirmative to say so.’
‘More than me?’
‘Yes.’
“You show great skill in its making, Captain.” Sousuke had showered and put on a clean uniform. He had a bit of a headache, but was otherwise no worse for wear.
“Would you like a biscuit with it? A biscotti?” Tessa waved her hand towards a plate on the corner of the table.
“No. I am not hungry… Tessa.” He chose to make that distinction. She had not asked him here as a crew member aboard the TDD-1. She had asked him here as a friend.
Tessa smiled. She played with her ponytail, sighed, and decided to put things in the right perspective. “I guess it’s no surprise how I feel about you, Sousuke. I mean… you know… my wishing you were more than just my friend.”
Tessa was only human. When she had first heard that Kaname would be going to America, she had felt a strong sense of hope. She had fantasized about a relationship with Sousuke, wanting what most girls her age had, or at least had a chance for. But, it was all too easy to think what Sousuke must be feeling.
“I… yes…” Sousuke looked over at the boiling teapot, not at Tessa. She was a wonderful girl, too. But, she was not Kaname.
“I suppose it would be easy for me to tell you just to forget about Kaname. It would be no trouble for me to offer you advice that might make me more hopeful.” She blushed and took a few bite of a jam-smeared biscuit. “But, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“I’m glad to hear that, Tessa.” Sousuke meant that. Tessa had once been an infallible goddess in his eyes. When he found that she was not, he realized that she could be his friend. Her honesty raised his opinion of her higher than before. “If I had never met her…” He didn’t have to complete that thought. “But, if I hadn’t, I might not be capable of feeling at all.”
“I know,” Tessa said. She had come to that conclusion before. Truth be told, she was happier with Sousuke being more human than before. That was what was best for him. What good would it have done either of them, having a timid young woman in love with a troubled and emotionless combat soldier?
The two were silent for a short while. When the tea was ready, Tessa poured for them both. “Milk? Sugar? Lemon?” Tessa asked. When Sousuke shook his head and said ‘No thank you,’ she tugged on her hair a bit and spoke again. “You understand why Mithril isn’t willing to set you up overseas? You don’t hold any resentment for that, I hope.”
“The Atlantic Branch is faced with different enemies. The forces of the United States have begun to incorporate Black Technology into their sovereign forces, and they are capable of facing the threats that arise in their general vcinity.” Sousuke took a sip of tea. “I am not upset with the High Council. Their decisions are well thought out.”
“Yes. Arbalest is needed in the Pacific,” Tessa said. “If it were otherwise…” Tessa looked over at Sousuke. Her face said it all. She was glad Sousuke was still a part of her crew. She shivered a moment, thinking back to her meeting with a number of her countrymen who were part of the Mithril Hierarchy.
Sousuke had gone along as her bodyguard. They had met former US Navy Fleet Admiral Jerome Border, a man inclined to wear aloha shirts and guffaw in an annoying manner . Former US Navy Vice Admiral Kevin Skyray had been like a fifty-year old Kurz Weber, asking her ‘Tessa, would you want to experience a dangerous love affair with me?’ They had been joined by former US Marine Corps Lt. Colonel J.G. Courtney, a man who cursed even more than Melissa and used the words "f-ck" and "f-cking" as an adjective to everything. Former US Navy Captain Roy Seals had been a lecher, and Former US Navy Rear Admiral Thomas Ross had exclaimed ‘Tessa! Here! You've gotta look at the tatoo I have engraved on my butt!!’
She remembered talking with Sousuke after that ordeal.
‘When I first met them, I thought it would be an honor to meet such war veterans. I had no idea that they were just a bunch of Yankee old geezers.’
‘But ma'am, you are an American too.’
‘I'm from the traditional and strict upper East Coast! Don't you dare associate me with those West Coast idiots whose brains have palm trees sticking out of them!’
Smiling a quick smile, she admonished herself. They may have been men born and raised an era when sexually harassing women seemed like a complimentary thing to do, but they were also seasoned veterans with a firm grasp on the world picture. Even though they were staunch patriots, they did not put Mithril’s best weapons in their own neck of the woods.
“I have accumulated a large amount of money.” Sousuke ran his hand through his hair. He remembered the days he would often have bumps on his scalp, courtesy of Kaname’s halisen. “But, I would not be able to gain entrance to an American college on my own with my grades.”
“Sometimes money can work wonders, Sousuke.” Tessa brushed some crumbs off of her blouse. “But, it often doesn’t work without some kind of political weight behind it.” Tessa had ample evidence of that, well aware of the amount of money that Mithril had paid to keep Sousuke at school.
“I see,” Sousuke said.
“Melissa told me what happened,” Tessa said, squeezing some lemon into her tea. “Have you tried to call Kaname?”
“Yes,” Sousuke replied, looking down at his cup. “Five times. No one took the call. All of the messages I left have gone unanswered.”
“Maybe you should keep on calling,” Tessa offered.
“Five times is a lot, Tessa. If it takes that many shots to hit the target, one should move the target closer or stop shooting for the day.” Only Sousuke would equate love with a shooting range.
“Perhaps, when you go back to pack up your apartment, you can stop by her home.” Tessa had wanted to say ‘If you have a thing for Whispered, perhaps it’s best to give your affections to girl who makes her own decisions’.
“Negative,” Sousuke said firmly. “I… they…” He shook his head.
“I think you need to know what Kaname is going through. No, you should think about what they are all going through. She is still Whispered. You can’t understand what that is like, unless you are Whispered yourself.” Tessa pulled at her hair again but stopped. “That raises a lot of difficult issues for her father, especially since he has already lost one person dear to him.” She thought a quick prayer on Ayame Chidori’s behalf. Hopefully she wouldn’t turn out to be Whispered too. An image of Leonard appeared in her mind, unwanted.
“Yes… but…”
“Sousuke, you didn’t grow up in your homeland. But, you should still try to understand that society.” Tessa hoped she didn’t sound like she was giving a lecture. But, it never hurt to be well-informed. Knowledge of a society's family system is essential to understanding that society. “In Japan, the family rather than the individual is considered to be the basic unit of society. Family responsibilities take precedence over individual desires, and familial relations provide the model for social integration at all levels. Furthermore, the family plays an important role in determining individual life chances. The Japanese also assume that growing up in an intact household promotes mature character development.”
“Kaname lost her mother…”
”Yes. That would be hard enough for anyone. But, in Japan, all other things being equal, employers generally prefer to hire a person raised in a two-parent household. That’s not the way it is in America, in case she decided to stay there after school.” Tessa took a sip of tea and then wiped her mouth on a napkin. “The family continues to play a central role in Japanese society today. The modern family is not the same as the traditional family, and neither are identical to the American family.”
Sousuke picked up his cup, but put it back down without drinking.
“It’s difficult to know what her father might think. The Japanese family has been in transition, and fathers often base their behavior on what they saw as children.” Tessa tapped her fingernails against her plate. “It might be that he is a many who views extreme individualism with alarm, blaming such things for the social problems that America is faced with. That might have made it very difficult for him to allow her to stay in Japan by herself, even if he were one of those Japanese men who spend little time with their children. It would be ironic, his wanting her to come live in the States with him, if he was worried about such things.”
“I see,” Sousuke said. “You are very wise, Tessa.”
Tessa blushed. “It’s OK you think that, Sousuke.” She nibbled at a biscotti. “Although, most girls would prefer being thought of as pretty.” She felt her face growing even warmer. Why did she say that?!
“You are very attractive, Tessa.” Sousuke could say that to ‘Tessa’ now. He would not have been able to say it to ‘Captain Testarossa’. “Women are allowed to have more than one good quality, are they not? Despite what some of the men told me…”
“Oh,” Tessa exclaimed, reacting to the first part of Sousuke’s reply. She then looked somewhat cross. “Don’t go believing everything you hear, Sergeant!” She didn’t want him picking up too much stuff from the crew of Da Danaan. Kurz Weber was bad enough.
“I see… so you do not want to hear what some of them had to say about you?” Sousuke was not being clueless. He knew that was a good way to tease Tessa.
“What?” Tessa dropped her biscotti. It bounced onto the floor. “Absolutely not!”
“You are very wise, indeed.”
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The phone stopped ringing.
Kaname stared at a liquid crystal display. The caller I.D. had shown ‘Unavailable’, so she didn’t pick up and answer.
Looking at the answering machine, she saw the ‘record light’ begin flashing. Sousuke’s voice came through the small speaker next to the light. “Hello. This is Sousuke Sagara. The call is for Kaname Chidori. This is my sixth and final call…”
Kaname looked over at her father. He frowned, but nodded his head. “Answer if you like.”
“I just wanted to say that I have thought about many things. I will say something. I wish I could stop you from going, but I cannot. Whatever is best for you will be best for me. But, I would like to see you again before you leave. If your father is there, I will pass along a greeting to him. Your sister, too...”
“The name is Ayame. Hmmmpppfff!” Ayame scowled at the machine.
Kaname was too distracted to notice her sister’s adoption of her traditional utterance. “If I pick it up… I’ll want to see him again… and it will only make it harder to leave.” Kaname looked torn.
“Well then, don't pick it up. You know what's best.” Shunya walked out of the room, allowing his daughter some privacy. “Ayame, you have some packing to do.”
Sousuke continued talking. Kaname stood rubbing her fingers together. She didn’t know the message capacity of the machine. It might cut off soon.
“It is strange. The time we spent together. It almost seems like the mirages I remember from Afghanistan. I do not know why. One thing I know, my feelings have not vanished. So, if you do not wish to speak to me, I will understand, but I will also ask you to rip up the letter I sent you. Alternatively, you may apply flame, acid, or various other destructive agents. It hurts me to know that the letter still exists.”
Kaname hurried to pick the phone up. “Hello? Sousuke?” She was too late.
He had already hung up.
Sousuke sat in his room. All the lights were off. Sunlight had begun peaking through a broken slat in his blinds.
“Urzu 7, what is your situation. The channel is open. Do you copy?”
He stared at the communications console. The blinking lights seemed to blur and then come into focus again. After wiping away a stray tear, he could see perfectly again. But, what was the point?
“Urzu 7, contact was initiated on your end. If you do not request otherwise, we will radio for assistance on site. Urzu 7, come in.”
Sousuke stood up. He stretched and then worked on a kink in his neck. As much as he might be hurting, that was his problem. There was no reason to inconvenience others.
“This is Urzu 7. I read you. Status green. I repeat green. There is no emergency and no imminent danger. Please connect me to Urzu 2 or Urzu 6.”
“Roger Urzu 7.” The communications officer muted the line. When a voice spoke again. It was Melissa. “Sousuke, is there something wrong?”
“I…it… apologies… this is improper use of military equipment.” Sousuke stated. “It is nothing that I cannot handle… there is no need to burden you with this…”
“F-ck that.” Melissa spoke firmly. “We’re a team, Sousuke. If I had a problem… and you could help me… I would know just what to expect. I hope you understand by now, it goes both ways.”
“I… it… affirmative.” Sousuke was quiet for a moment. He could hear the sound of a garbage truck down the street. “My mind is somewhat clouded… I have not gotten any sleep… I walked for hours.”
“Shit! I was afraid of something like this. Why do I have to right… all… the… f-cking… time?!“ There was a pause. “OK, Sousuke. Let’s start from the beginning. Tell me what’s wrong? Is it something about Kaname?” Melissa’s voice said that she already knew the answer.
“Yes.” Sousuke paused. For a moment, he thought back to Hong Kong. He had left the school, almost certain that he would never return. He had not told Kaname. He had not even left her a note. Was this all that different? “To be succinct, Kaname met me when I landed. She indicated that she had read my letter. I informed her… I told her that I love her.” He looked up at the ceiling. “She also said that the meeting would be the last that I see of her.”
“Damn it! OK, listen up and pay attention, Sousuke. It will be alright. Trust me. It may hurt real bad for a while, but it will get better.” Melissa spoke quietly, a rarity for her. “Maybe a clean break like this will heal better.”
“It is foolish. I understand that. Kaname will be departing in a few weeks, regardless. But it… I did not know what to do… it was difficult to think…… I was crying…” Sousuke felt no shame in making that admission. “I tried to think of some way that she could stay… but it is not my decision…” He walked over to the window and looked outside. “This is difficult…”
“I’ll talk to Tessa. We’ll arrange for you to come back tonight, or tomorrow at the latest. But, you won’t have to make any kind of major decision o this trip. I’ll make sure of that.” Melissa knew that Sousuke as a soldier would be reassigned, now that his assignment was over. But, he was in no condition to make any choices like that now.
“Thank you.”
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The wind blew a mist of rain under the roof of the balcony.
Kaname looked off into the distance, almost oblivious to the way her hair stuck to the side of her neck. She wondered what Sousuke was doing. It was something that she had done before when he was away on missions. How long would she do it now?
“Be well, Sousuke…” She whispered. “I love you too…” Why couldn’t she have told him that? Three simple words. She had said ‘I’ to him many times. “She had used ‘you’ more times than anyone could count. She had used the word ‘love’ as well. So, why wasn’t she able to put them together, one after the other, in the proper order?
The crash of thunder off in the distance reminded her of explosions. Explosions reminded her of Sousuke. It was amazing how many things did that now that she would never see him again.
“Maybe he can visit me.” she told herself. “Maybe I can come back to Tokyo on break.”
Those were nice fantasies. But, if she wasn’t in Tokyo, there was no reason for Sousuke to stay there. Regardless, she hoped that he would decide to go to college somewhere, taking Mithril up on their offer. If he went back to that submarine full time, he would see more missions. More missions meant a greater chance of being wounded. If he was in situations where he could be wounded, he would be in places where he could be killed.
“”It’s not my fault…”
If she had followed through on her original plan, attending Tokyo University at the Komaba Campus, Sousuke could have stayed with her, whether or not he matriculated. He wouldn’t be caught up in nearly as many dangerous missions. Her father and sister wouldn’t be in danger because of her. She herself would be safer.
The rain was falling harder now. Kaname watches as the raindrops struck the balcony railing, splashing water this way and that, depending on which way the wind gusts were blowing. It was almost hypnotic. Before she knew it, she was thinking back over the times that she and Sousuke had shared. She spent a lot of time reliving the intimacy they had shared.
It was hard to believe that they had done that. She had always been the idol at school, the girl that everyone might admire, but no one wanted as a girlfriend. It was Sousuke who came to see her as something different. He had been the otaku that everyone laughed at or avoided, the boy that left his classmates in stitches literally. She had been the one to change that.
Was she wrong to do what she had done in the car that night? She really did care about Sousuke. She was certain that he cared about her. There was no one else that she would have wanted to be her first true love. So, no regrets. No, that wasn’t true. Their moment of discovery should have been the start of something, not the end.
“Kaname, what are you doing outside. You’re soaking wet. Come in before you catch your death of cold.” Her father stood at the door leading out to the balcony.
“If you’re going to stay out here, you can use my umbrella.” Ayame held a folded parasol decorated in a Bonta-kun motif.
Kaname didn’t answer. She stood staring off into the distance. The rain water on her face helped disguise her tears.
“Kaname… the umbrella….” Ayame opened it up and held it out. She looked up at her father when Kaname didn’t move.
“Let’s go inside now, Ayame.” Shunya took one last look at Kaname before heading back inside. He hung his head, thinking of his wife Shizu. He didn’t want to lose his daughter too. But, he had to do what was best for her in the long run, even if it meant hurting her now. He had to do what was best for the family, even if it meant using methods that he wasn’t proud of.
The thunder came again, much louder this time. The sheer strength of the concussion rattled the windows.
Kaname sighed. Thunder reminded her of explosions.
Explosions reminded her of Sosuke.
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The walkway overlooking the hangar deck was lined by soldiers.
Standing, sitting with their legs dangling between the railings, or sitting against the sidewall, the SRT members, support crew, and aviators were exclusively male. Those that weren’t on call were drunk to the last man.
This was an important occasion. It was cause for celebration that the TDD-1 had pulled back into dock. But, it was more than that. This was for Sousuke Sagara, blooded member of the Tuatha Da Danaan’s Special Response Team, and victim of love.
“You should have known that the relationship was doomed,” Lt. Valkovic waved a bottle of “Putin” vodka above his head, and then sloshed some into Souske’s glass. “You would have been better off with a good Lithuanian male-order bride.”
“Yes.” Sousuke was not one to drink. As such, he had no ability to hold his liquor.
“Shit! The girl broke up with you after you poured your heart out in a letter?” Chief Petty Officer Rohrbaugh looked up from his game of Cribbage. “Women!”
“Yes.” Sousuke tipped his glass up, spilling more than he drank.
“No babe is worth it, man. Hang with us Sergeant, and we’ll teach you what you need to know.” Ensign Ramirez, one of the Weapons Officers aboard ship, worked with a pair of small free weights.
“Yes.” Sousuke answered. He was in no condition to think. That answer was good enough for everything.
“Right. You can't trust them. You know why? They spend your money, and they tell their friends everything, man.” Ordinance Technician Smithers grabbed for Lt. Valkovic’s bottle and missed.
“I will tell you what will help,” Sgt. Estrella said with a wicked grin. “You need to find a girl who looks just like her…nail her… and then dump her. It will get her off your mind.”
“Uhhh…” Sousuke wasn’t so drunk that he would answer that one ‘Yes’.
“That girl was nothing but a show pony. You’re a stallion.” Chief Engineer Geveden said. “You walk with us, and you’ll walk tall. You hang in there. Keep your head up. You’re a damn good man. Don’t ever let a woman bring you down.” Geveden slapped Sousuke on the back. “I’ve got to take my leave. I’m up for engine room watch.”
“Yes” Sousuke said, saluting. Was that someone he was supposed to salute? It didn’t matter.
“Sure you don’t want a drink, Chief?” Valkovic held the bottle up. “None of us will tell.” He shrugged when the Engineer grunted and left.
“Bitches, man!” Ensign DeAngelo said. He was one of the men who needed to abstain from the libations. He had to content himself with the food that the cooks snuck out of the galley. “Where’d she dump you, man?”
“Yes.” Sousuke was stuck on that word.
“Shit. You sound like you need more to drink,” De Angelo said. “Where did that girl dump you, man?”
“When I got off the helicopter.” Sousuke braced himself with his arm against the railing. “Flew out to see her. Told her I love her. Before she went away.”
“Bitches!” Sgt. Yan said, cradling a bottle of Chinese wine, a bitter drink that none of the other men would touch. “Baht po!”
Everyone stopped whatever they were doing to look at the diminutive Arm Slave Pilot. No one could remembering Yan drinking a single drop of alcohol in the past.
“You never had a chance with a girl like that,” Supply Officer Schemmann said, wishing he had a chance with a girl like that. “Better to learn that sooner than later!”
“I have been in love a number of times. I got hurt really bad. I never wanna go through that again. Don‘t cross the stream to find water, right?” Master Machinist Jorgensen frowned, looking down at his drink. “Need more to drink, Sergeant?”
“Yes.” Sousuke said. He looked down at his drink. Somehow it always seemed full.
“Hey! You guys are all bringing me down!” Sgt. Wailer claimed. “C’mon, we should cheer the boy up, not bring everyone else down.” He took the drink from Sousuke’s hand and placed it on the floor.
“Shut up man.” Lt. Valkovic put his arm around Sousuke’s shoulders. “We're going to find him a girl. We're going to find him a woman. We're going to find him one hot-lipped shliundra.”
“Uhhh…” Sousuke thought about Kaname. He pictured her face. She wouldn’t like it if he found a hot-lipped whatever, would she?
“I’m certain a bunch of us could arrange for leave at the same time,” Kurz walked up, sober. “I know that some of you gentleman have found some very nice spots.”
“Ahhh… the girls in windows on the street right next to Gare Du Nord in Brussels,” one seaman said.
“Cruising the Castellana in Madrid… mmm, yes…” Sgt. Estrella sighed, reminiscing.
“Walletjes, Singel, and de Pijp. Amsterdam's Red Light Districts. Half naked young women standing in the storefronts, revealing their assets.” Jorgensen added. “Good Stroopwaffels, too!”
“Tel Aviv, the brothel capital of the world,“ Ensign DeAngelo said. “Temporary wives in Iran. And who hasn’t heard about Thailand?”
“Have you been to any of those places?” Sgt Estrella said with a knowing smile.
“Well… no… at least not yet…” De Angelo admitted. He frowned when some of the seamen laughed at him.
Kurz walked over to Sousuke, a serious look on his face. He helped his friend to stand. “Well, it looks like there are plenty of places you can find a woman. Is that what you want?” While Kurz was more talk than action, he had been through his share of drunken indiscretions after his girlfriend ran off with her doctor. He wouldn’t wish that on his friend, no matter how many times he had joked about things in the past.
“Uhhh… I…” Sousuke shook his head.
“It doesn’t have to be prostitutes, you know. I’m certain you can find women eager for a night or two with someone like you.” Kurz added. “It’s a mercenary soldier’s appeal. Right, guys?”
“Hell yeh!” A number of people answered at once.
“I do not think I will meet someone like Kaname Chidori I those places.” Sousuke felt numb. He looked at Kurz. “I don’t know why she would not see me again. I want to know what my words meant to her. I need to know how she felt about me.” Sousuke felt a sudden burst of anger. “She won’t talk to me any more. She won’t look at me any more. Why?” he threw a glass against the wall.
“Whoa man…what's happening to you?” Schemmann asked.
“Hey, you're freaking out, mon. Take it easy.” Sgt. Wailer walked over to stand near Sousuke. SRT members were a tight knit group, and even the newer members looked after the others.
“You've gotta get her out of your head, guy.” Jorgensen asserted.
“Listen. I can set you up with any girl at the base. Just look at the directory and name a babe. I’ll set you up with her.” Sgt. Estrella was dead serious. That was his way of helping. It worked for him.
“Kaname Chidori.” Sousuke said firmly.
Estrella shrugged. Wailer looked at Kurz who nodded his head. Valkovic, on his third bottle, walked over to join the group. It was time to bring Sousuke back to his cabin and start sobering him up.
There was a loud sound of metal on metal. Someone had swung one of the large Arm Slave diagnostic probes against the wall. When everyone looked down from their elevated perch, they saw Melissa Mao glaring up at them.
“What a bunch of pathetic assholes,” Melissa said, making it a point to single out Kurz and give him a flippant wave of her hand. “We return from patrol, and you bastards break out the booze.”
”But… we’re officially off duty for now… and…” One of the younger seamen stammered, worried that they had been busted. He had been diligent. He had checked the duty roster.
“You guys are in deep shit!” Melissa asserted. “Someone forgot to invite me.”
“I was just about to,” Kurz called down. “I was going to send Valkovic over to piss on your cabin door.” Kurz thumbed his nose at Melissa. “But, you probably would have pulled him into the room and had your way with him.”
“Tu avigalvi!” Lt. Valkovic shook a fist at Kurz.
“Bitches!” Yan had regained consciousness long enough to call out that word.
Melissa marched up the long flight of metal stairs, pushed her way past a number of seamen, and made her way to Kurz. “Is this what you call taking care of Sousuke?”
“Relax, Sis. Don’t get your knickers in a knot.” Kurz didn’t smile his usual insolent smile. Oh. We’re in port now. You’re probably not wearing any.”
“No knickers…” Sousuke muttered.
“Shit!” Melissa looked at Sousuke and sighed. She had been in a similar situation numerous times. Heart-broken and drunk. She hoped that her young teammate wouldn’t give up on the idea of love like she had.
“Our boy’s a man now, Babe.” Kurz said. “And, he’s a full on bonded member of the crew after this.” He obviously thought that was a good thing in its own right. “He has a right to make his own decisions.”
“Really? I don’t think that dragging his ass on some f-cking cargo plane and flying him out to some gang bang house is what he needs, do you?” Melissa sounded fiercely protective.
“It doesn’t matter what I think. It doesn’t matter what you think. It matters what he thinks.” Kurz grabbed hold of Sousuke’s sleeve, just in time to keep him from backing up and tumbling down the stairs. “He’s heard the guys talk. He talked with you before he began drinking. He knows what options he has. He needs to decide what he wants.”
“Kaname….” Sousuke shook his head. He was tried to regain his sobriety through force of will. It didn’t work.
“Damn. I don’t like it when you start making sense,” Melissa said. “Especially when I’m not drunk when that happens.” She cursed when she looked at Sousuke. “After I talk with him some more, it’s your job to clean him up. We’re not the only ones who want to talk with him. The word about his dumping will be everywhere with so many drunken shit heads wandering around.”
“I was kind of afraid of that…” Kurz looked somewhat sheepish, even though the drinking hadn’t been his idea.
“Tessa may want to speak with him. Kalinin, too.” Melissa wrinkled up her nose. “Maybe even Mardukas.”
“Shit…” Sousuke flinched.
Melissa pulled Sousuke aside. “How are you holding out?”
“It is not a problem,” Sousuke said. “No. It is a problem. I should not have done this.” He pulled at his uniform shirt. It was still wet with alcohol. “I need to be stronger…”
“It’s OK. Don’t knock yourself around because of this. We’ve all been through this, even Clouzot. You can bet that Kalinin has, too.” Melissa knew how much Sousuke respected those two men. “Hell, I even saw Tessa down a couple of Martinis once.” She was not going to tell him who she was crying over.
“No. My assault on the world begins now. Believe in myself. Answer to no one…” Sousuke set his jaw.
“You mean like before?” Melissa asked.
“It… uhhh…” Sousuke ran a hand through his head.
“I know how much the girl means to you, Sousuke. I can guess how much you’re hurting. She’s probably hurting just as much. Maybe even more, because she had to be the one who pulled the plug.” Melissa watched as the truth of that statement hit her friend.
“But…”
“You gave her a lot. Don’t ever think that you didn’t. But, she gave you something too.” Melissa scowled. She had an audience. The other members of the SRT were listening in. All except a snoring Sgt. Yan. They quickly looked away or pretended to gather up their things. “You’re a better man than you were before. I want you to think about that. If you don’t, I’m going to kick Kurz’ ass until my foot hurts.”
Kurz opened his mouth to make one of his usual comebacks, but decided to remain quiet.
“I… uhhh…” Sousuke set his jaw. He looked defiant.
“Kurz, get your ass over here.” Melissa spoke as if she were giving an order. Kurz walked over with some trepidation. Melissa would do anything to help Sousuke.
Sousuke looked over at Kurz. He saw his teammate give him a pleading look. “It might make him a better man…”
Melissa smiled. “I don’t think anything will do that.”
“That’s right, Babe. You can’t improve on perfection. Oh yeh!” Kurz struck a runway pose.
“Crap…” Sousuke muttered loud enough for the SRT group to hear. Everyone but Kurz chuckled or laughed.
“I think the boy’s going to be alright,” Valkovic said, tapping his last bottle against Estrella’s glass.
“Yes, I believe so.” Estrella winked at Sousuke. “If he wants, I can still get him a girl.” He blew Melissa a kiss when she gave him a nasty look.
“No. You can’t improve on perfection…” Sousuke sighed, thinking about Kaname again.
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“The tea is almost ready.”
Tessa worked to fix tea for Sousuke, thinking back to a time when she had done the same thing for Kaname. It was ironic, really. Back then, she had her heart set on him, and had hinted that she and Sousuke had a relationship that was closer than Captain and subordinate. Kaname had realized her feelings later than she had, but won the prize any way.
She thought back to the Pacific Christmas mission. She remembered the way that she had felt around Sousuke. She had come out and asked him something, dreading to hear the answer she thought would be coming.
‘Sagara-san’
‘Yes, ma'am’
‘Do you love Kaname-san?’
‘I believe it is affirmative to say so.’
‘More than me?’
‘Yes.’
“You show great skill in its making, Captain.” Sousuke had showered and put on a clean uniform. He had a bit of a headache, but was otherwise no worse for wear.
“Would you like a biscuit with it? A biscotti?” Tessa waved her hand towards a plate on the corner of the table.
“No. I am not hungry… Tessa.” He chose to make that distinction. She had not asked him here as a crew member aboard the TDD-1. She had asked him here as a friend.
Tessa smiled. She played with her ponytail, sighed, and decided to put things in the right perspective. “I guess it’s no surprise how I feel about you, Sousuke. I mean… you know… my wishing you were more than just my friend.”
Tessa was only human. When she had first heard that Kaname would be going to America, she had felt a strong sense of hope. She had fantasized about a relationship with Sousuke, wanting what most girls her age had, or at least had a chance for. But, it was all too easy to think what Sousuke must be feeling.
“I… yes…” Sousuke looked over at the boiling teapot, not at Tessa. She was a wonderful girl, too. But, she was not Kaname.
“I suppose it would be easy for me to tell you just to forget about Kaname. It would be no trouble for me to offer you advice that might make me more hopeful.” She blushed and took a few bite of a jam-smeared biscuit. “But, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“I’m glad to hear that, Tessa.” Sousuke meant that. Tessa had once been an infallible goddess in his eyes. When he found that she was not, he realized that she could be his friend. Her honesty raised his opinion of her higher than before. “If I had never met her…” He didn’t have to complete that thought. “But, if I hadn’t, I might not be capable of feeling at all.”
“I know,” Tessa said. She had come to that conclusion before. Truth be told, she was happier with Sousuke being more human than before. That was what was best for him. What good would it have done either of them, having a timid young woman in love with a troubled and emotionless combat soldier?
The two were silent for a short while. When the tea was ready, Tessa poured for them both. “Milk? Sugar? Lemon?” Tessa asked. When Sousuke shook his head and said ‘No thank you,’ she tugged on her hair a bit and spoke again. “You understand why Mithril isn’t willing to set you up overseas? You don’t hold any resentment for that, I hope.”
“The Atlantic Branch is faced with different enemies. The forces of the United States have begun to incorporate Black Technology into their sovereign forces, and they are capable of facing the threats that arise in their general vcinity.” Sousuke took a sip of tea. “I am not upset with the High Council. Their decisions are well thought out.”
“Yes. Arbalest is needed in the Pacific,” Tessa said. “If it were otherwise…” Tessa looked over at Sousuke. Her face said it all. She was glad Sousuke was still a part of her crew. She shivered a moment, thinking back to her meeting with a number of her countrymen who were part of the Mithril Hierarchy.
Sousuke had gone along as her bodyguard. They had met former US Navy Fleet Admiral Jerome Border, a man inclined to wear aloha shirts and guffaw in an annoying manner . Former US Navy Vice Admiral Kevin Skyray had been like a fifty-year old Kurz Weber, asking her ‘Tessa, would you want to experience a dangerous love affair with me?’ They had been joined by former US Marine Corps Lt. Colonel J.G. Courtney, a man who cursed even more than Melissa and used the words "f-ck" and "f-cking" as an adjective to everything. Former US Navy Captain Roy Seals had been a lecher, and Former US Navy Rear Admiral Thomas Ross had exclaimed ‘Tessa! Here! You've gotta look at the tatoo I have engraved on my butt!!’
She remembered talking with Sousuke after that ordeal.
‘When I first met them, I thought it would be an honor to meet such war veterans. I had no idea that they were just a bunch of Yankee old geezers.’
‘But ma'am, you are an American too.’
‘I'm from the traditional and strict upper East Coast! Don't you dare associate me with those West Coast idiots whose brains have palm trees sticking out of them!’
Smiling a quick smile, she admonished herself. They may have been men born and raised an era when sexually harassing women seemed like a complimentary thing to do, but they were also seasoned veterans with a firm grasp on the world picture. Even though they were staunch patriots, they did not put Mithril’s best weapons in their own neck of the woods.
“I have accumulated a large amount of money.” Sousuke ran his hand through his hair. He remembered the days he would often have bumps on his scalp, courtesy of Kaname’s halisen. “But, I would not be able to gain entrance to an American college on my own with my grades.”
“Sometimes money can work wonders, Sousuke.” Tessa brushed some crumbs off of her blouse. “But, it often doesn’t work without some kind of political weight behind it.” Tessa had ample evidence of that, well aware of the amount of money that Mithril had paid to keep Sousuke at school.
“I see,” Sousuke said.
“Melissa told me what happened,” Tessa said, squeezing some lemon into her tea. “Have you tried to call Kaname?”
“Yes,” Sousuke replied, looking down at his cup. “Five times. No one took the call. All of the messages I left have gone unanswered.”
“Maybe you should keep on calling,” Tessa offered.
“Five times is a lot, Tessa. If it takes that many shots to hit the target, one should move the target closer or stop shooting for the day.” Only Sousuke would equate love with a shooting range.
“Perhaps, when you go back to pack up your apartment, you can stop by her home.” Tessa had wanted to say ‘If you have a thing for Whispered, perhaps it’s best to give your affections to girl who makes her own decisions’.
“Negative,” Sousuke said firmly. “I… they…” He shook his head.
“I think you need to know what Kaname is going through. No, you should think about what they are all going through. She is still Whispered. You can’t understand what that is like, unless you are Whispered yourself.” Tessa pulled at her hair again but stopped. “That raises a lot of difficult issues for her father, especially since he has already lost one person dear to him.” She thought a quick prayer on Ayame Chidori’s behalf. Hopefully she wouldn’t turn out to be Whispered too. An image of Leonard appeared in her mind, unwanted.
“Yes… but…”
“Sousuke, you didn’t grow up in your homeland. But, you should still try to understand that society.” Tessa hoped she didn’t sound like she was giving a lecture. But, it never hurt to be well-informed. Knowledge of a society's family system is essential to understanding that society. “In Japan, the family rather than the individual is considered to be the basic unit of society. Family responsibilities take precedence over individual desires, and familial relations provide the model for social integration at all levels. Furthermore, the family plays an important role in determining individual life chances. The Japanese also assume that growing up in an intact household promotes mature character development.”
“Kaname lost her mother…”
”Yes. That would be hard enough for anyone. But, in Japan, all other things being equal, employers generally prefer to hire a person raised in a two-parent household. That’s not the way it is in America, in case she decided to stay there after school.” Tessa took a sip of tea and then wiped her mouth on a napkin. “The family continues to play a central role in Japanese society today. The modern family is not the same as the traditional family, and neither are identical to the American family.”
Sousuke picked up his cup, but put it back down without drinking.
“It’s difficult to know what her father might think. The Japanese family has been in transition, and fathers often base their behavior on what they saw as children.” Tessa tapped her fingernails against her plate. “It might be that he is a many who views extreme individualism with alarm, blaming such things for the social problems that America is faced with. That might have made it very difficult for him to allow her to stay in Japan by herself, even if he were one of those Japanese men who spend little time with their children. It would be ironic, his wanting her to come live in the States with him, if he was worried about such things.”
“I see,” Sousuke said. “You are very wise, Tessa.”
Tessa blushed. “It’s OK you think that, Sousuke.” She nibbled at a biscotti. “Although, most girls would prefer being thought of as pretty.” She felt her face growing even warmer. Why did she say that?!
“You are very attractive, Tessa.” Sousuke could say that to ‘Tessa’ now. He would not have been able to say it to ‘Captain Testarossa’. “Women are allowed to have more than one good quality, are they not? Despite what some of the men told me…”
“Oh,” Tessa exclaimed, reacting to the first part of Sousuke’s reply. She then looked somewhat cross. “Don’t go believing everything you hear, Sergeant!” She didn’t want him picking up too much stuff from the crew of Da Danaan. Kurz Weber was bad enough.
“I see… so you do not want to hear what some of them had to say about you?” Sousuke was not being clueless. He knew that was a good way to tease Tessa.
“What?” Tessa dropped her biscotti. It bounced onto the floor. “Absolutely not!”
“You are very wise, indeed.”
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The phone stopped ringing.
Kaname stared at a liquid crystal display. The caller I.D. had shown ‘Unavailable’, so she didn’t pick up and answer.
Looking at the answering machine, she saw the ‘record light’ begin flashing. Sousuke’s voice came through the small speaker next to the light. “Hello. This is Sousuke Sagara. The call is for Kaname Chidori. This is my sixth and final call…”
Kaname looked over at her father. He frowned, but nodded his head. “Answer if you like.”
“I just wanted to say that I have thought about many things. I will say something. I wish I could stop you from going, but I cannot. Whatever is best for you will be best for me. But, I would like to see you again before you leave. If your father is there, I will pass along a greeting to him. Your sister, too...”
“The name is Ayame. Hmmmpppfff!” Ayame scowled at the machine.
Kaname was too distracted to notice her sister’s adoption of her traditional utterance. “If I pick it up… I’ll want to see him again… and it will only make it harder to leave.” Kaname looked torn.
“Well then, don't pick it up. You know what's best.” Shunya walked out of the room, allowing his daughter some privacy. “Ayame, you have some packing to do.”
Sousuke continued talking. Kaname stood rubbing her fingers together. She didn’t know the message capacity of the machine. It might cut off soon.
“It is strange. The time we spent together. It almost seems like the mirages I remember from Afghanistan. I do not know why. One thing I know, my feelings have not vanished. So, if you do not wish to speak to me, I will understand, but I will also ask you to rip up the letter I sent you. Alternatively, you may apply flame, acid, or various other destructive agents. It hurts me to know that the letter still exists.”
Kaname hurried to pick the phone up. “Hello? Sousuke?” She was too late.
He had already hung up.
)
