FullMetal*Panic!

There was a palpable sense of danger and excitement in the air.

To Sousuke, who had faced his death on numerous occasions, the feeling within him was still noteworthy. He was facing the unknown.

The girls were all speaking in hushed voices, excited one moment and anxious the next. Truth or Dare was a right of passage of sorts. Much of what one could expect came from the group he or she played with.

A boy was in the room. Not just any boy. Sousuke Sagara. Everyone knew about him. How could they not? There were so many fun things they could ask him, or ask him to do. But, who could say what he might ask, or ask someone else to do?

“What’s wrong, Sousuke?” Kaname paced back and forth, looking far more nervous than Sousuke did. Without a doubt, she would be faced with moral and ethical dilemmas. In the spirit of the game, everyone was supposed to tell the truth. How could she lie to her friends? That was a sign of poor character, right? And, she was the world’s worst liar. Everytime she told a falsehood, someone always seemed to find out. “Scared?”

“No,” Sousuke said, arms across his chest. He was wearing a new fresh pajama top. “Naturally, seeing the situation, I am given reason to have reasonable concerns.” He looked around the room. The arrangement was harrowing in its own right. “There is a quotation from the most decorated officer in U.S. Marine Corps history. ‘So they've got us surrounded, good! Now we can fire in any direction, those bastards won't get away this time!’” He was indeed surrounded, sitting in the middle of the floor, ringed by occupied closely packed sleeping bags and a second ring of standing or seated girls.

“Great,” Kaname said, smacking herself in the forehead. “Just the kind of stuff we need to hear.”

Some of the girls looked at one another with some trepidation. Sousuke saying something otaku was nothing unusual. But, his making reference to firing in all directions was not a reason to feel gleeful, seeing that he had weapons with him.

“Kaname?” Sousuke looked around the room. The lights were low. But, the light from an adjacent room shone off of the eyes of the nearest girls. It was an eerie sight. “If that is truly the case, I have addition quotes from Chesty Puller and soldiers of other nationalities.”

“That’s not…” Kaname hung her head and sighed. Kyouko’s flash went off. Some of the girls chuckled, seeing the effect that Sousuke’s clueless behavior had on Kaname. Better her than them!

“Chesty Puller?” Maya asked, feeling a bit brazen. “Chesty?”

“Puller?” Ryo smirked, having caught on fast.

“Does that mean you’ll be pulling on chests, Sousuke?” One girl queried playfully.

“Gurk!” Sousuke’s eyes went wide. While he was not one for exclamations of that sort, he could be forgiven in that given situation. “Negative! It is not my intention to perform acts of that nature. That was merely the nickname of General Lewis B. Puller, USMC, veteran of battles from Guadalcanal to the Chosin Reservoir. He had a barrel chest.”

“Right,” Mizuki said, smirking. She knew Sousuke wasn’t making any inappropriate inferences.

“Sure,” Another girl said, making a ‘tsk tsk’ noise.

“Oh… to be treated in such a terrible way… while still in the flower of my youth…” Ren shocked everyone by playing alone. Kyouko rushed to ‘assist’ her after the quiet girl slumped to the floor.

“But… it’s not… I wouldn’t…” Sousuke waved his arms frantically. His eyes looked wild, and he was sweating again.

“P-S-Y-C-H-E-!”

A large number of girls had shouted all at once.

“Geez…” Kaname muttered under her breath. “He’s such an imbecile some times…” Seasoned veteran. Soldier extraordinaire. Pilot of the only Lambda Driver capable A.S. on the side of good and right. Calm under the most harrowing of situations. Driven to distraction by the thought of fondling a girl. Yes, he definitely was a clueless moron. But, it was kind of sweet. She certainly wouldn’t want him to change.

Sousuke sat quietly. He tried to will his pulse to slow down. He had been effectively baited and trapped, like the greenest of greenhorns. The soldier in him taking over, he pondered lessons from Sun Tzu. The highest form of generalship is to balk the enemy's plans. The clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but does not allow the enemy's will to be imposed on him. Simply put, one mark of a great soldier is that he fights on his own terms or fights not at all.

Those were all practical truths. He could add to that, the fact that victory may be produced out of the enemy's own tactics.

“Did you see the look on his face?” Ryo was hugging her knees to her, all smiles.

“It was classic!” Maya grinned.

“Kyouko, I think you should make a copy of that one for all of us!” One girl said, soon echoed by the others.

Keeping all expression off of his face, eyes smarting from the repeated glare of the camera flash, Sousuke considered the five dangerous faults that can affect a leader. As he was the only one on his team, he was by definition the leader.

Recklessness, which leads to destruction.

Yes. He knew that one well. It was an ongoing struggle for him. His impulsiveness tended to get him into trouble at school, but not on the battlefield. He needed to be in the right frame of mind. The girls were his schoolmates, but they were not at school. For the duration of this game, they would be his opponents, his adversaries.

Cowardice, which leads to capture.

Indeed. He must not give into fear. Capture by terrorists would bring unfortunate and drastic consequences. Capture by a room of crazed female teenagers could be far worse. He would rather slice both palms and swim the Great Barrier Reef, attracting every Great White Shark in range.

A hasty temper, which can be provoked by insults.

Hmmm. He usually had that under control. Usually, he ignored insults. When he could not, he was a student of the ‘don’t get mad, get even’ school. But, there were those in the room who might be vulnerable to such an approach. Going rigid, he turned. Somehow, he had known that Kaname’s stare was on him.

A delicacy of honor which is sensitive to shame.

Ahhh. That was worth keeping in mind. Who knows what the girls might do to him. Whatever they chose, he could not allow it to fall prey to shame. It might help if he asked himself the question ‘What would Kurz Weber do’, ‘or what would Melissa Mao’ do. If those did not provide enough insight, he would consider what Andrei Sergeyevich Kalinin might do.

Over-solicitude for his men, which exposes him to worry and trouble

No. That would not be a problem in the least. He had no over-solicitude for himself. If anything, quite the opposite. That earned him lectures from any number of people, from Melissa and Kurz, to Captain Testarossa and Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin. Kaname also made that point at times, too.

The girls continued with their loud chatter and jokes at Sousuke’s expense, while Kaname debated whether or not to stop it. The scruffy boy soldier certainly deserved some of it! And, as long as they focused on him, they were less likely to zero in on her. For now, anyway. But, she hated unfair fights, and always found herself rooting for the underdog.

“I have another quote,” Sousuke said, after loading a clip of blanks into his pistol and pulling the trigger a few times. He watched as one large table teetered precariously, after a number of girls fell to the ground grasping the tablecloth. Bowls of popcorn and chips rolled across the floor, leaving food in their wake. “The source is anonymous. It was told to me by a man I trained with.” He had heard it from an old grizzled sergeant at Mithril boot camp.

“W-e-l-l-?” Maya asked, after Sousuke’s bravado abandoned him for a moment.

“It was…” Sousuke squared his shoulders. He could do this. It was only words. He need not picture an image to go along with those words. “I think that it would be good advice for you girls. Tonight especially. Men had no difficulty following the philosophy.”

“Then it will be easy for us,” Ryo said, smugly. “Right girls?” Her question had some of the other partygoers nodding their heads.

“The quote was as follows…” Sousuke thought back to a day he stood sweating in the thick of a Central American forest. "…For every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So, no matter how hard it gets, keep your head up, stick your chest out, and handle it."

“Gah!” Mizuki spat out a mouthful of soda, drawing an angry look from the girl lounging in front of her.

“What?” Kyouko held her pillow in front of her blouse.

“Chest?” One girl asked. “Handle?”

“Classic,” Sousuke said, aping a prior remark. “Should I yell ‘Psyche’ now?” He stood with his legs spread apart,mission completed.

“BAKA!”

Kaname brought an upended bowl of Jello and whipped cream down hard on Sousuke’s head. She had been concerned for Sousuke, somewhat. That is, neglecting her thoughts of using him as a means to draw attention away from herself. She had also gotten somewhat emotional, thinking he was sweet. Then he comes out with something like that.

The room went dead silent for a moment. Then it there was a rolling burst of applause. It grew so loud, that angry neighbors began banging on the walls. The girls began chanting Kaname’s name, causing her to stand tall, preening. That ought to show Sousuke that he was out of his league.

Wobbling squares of red gelatin fell out of the bowl, bounced off of Sousuke’s shoulders, and then made their way onto sleeping bags and pillows. Taking the bowl off of his head, the young soldier turned to look at Kaname. Hair dripping whipped cream, he considered another passage from the Art of War. ‘If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.’

It was not enough to know the tendencies of one’s adversary. One had to keep them in mind. Flushed with nascent pride, he had allowed Kaname to sneak up behind him. Unforgivable! But, he could not allow that to bring him down. The perfect response came to mind, even though it was not the kind of thing he usually said. In battle, terrain was an unavoidable issue. Similarly, with certain girls, topography could not be ignored.

“Kaname?” Sousuke caught a towel that Ren threw him. Did she have a large supply handy? No matter. “Are you angry because my quotation sounded like an order?” He knew all to well what happened any time he told Kaname what to do, even when he was acting in his capacity as a Specialist. “For you, it is unnecessary. You need not stick your chest out. It does that on it’s own.”

For a few moments, one could have heard a pin drop. Kaname looked like someone had dipped her in liquid nitrogen, and then placed her in the middle of the room. Hand held flat in front of her, she didn’t move when Sousuke placed the bowl of gelatin on it.

First, quiet whispering began. Then, the conversations grew louder, punctuated by laughter. Before Sousuke knew what was happening, a group of the girls was chanting his name.

Similarly, Kaname’s condition evolved in a stepwise manner. First, she managed to wiggle a few fingers. Then, she felt the warmth spread throughout her body. When she was able to walk again, she tossed the bowl to Kyouko, who dropped it and her camera. Nose held high, she marched into her darkened bed room, rustled around for a few moments, and then returned holding the halisen.

“Uhhh… Kaname…” Sousuke swallowed hard. Feeling like a mouse staring up at a hungry cat, he wondered if he should stick to forms of combat that he was more familiar with.

Kaname drew her arm back. Seeing that Sousuke’s attention was on the paper fan, she stomped on his shoeless foot as hard as she could. Hearing him grunt, she did it again.

“Big shot loser. Hmmmpppfff!” Tossing her hair, she handed the halisen to Ren.

“Scary,” one girl said to another.

“Tell me about it!” A third girl shivered.

“Down!” They all knelt down behind a group of their friends when Kaname turned to see who had spoken.

“OK, if we’re going to play, we should get started.” Kaname spoke up, feeling a need to regain a little control. Maya and Ryo had been pushing things along for a while, and a certain jerk had usurped everyone’s attention. This was her apartment. It was her party. “Unless you’re all having second thoughts because Sousuke’s here?” She found herself hoping that everyone would speak up, toss Sousuke out of the room, and say that it was time for movies or sleep. But, she couldn’t let any of the others get wind of that.

“It is not a problem,” Maya said, mimicking Sousuke.

“That’s right,” Ryo said, yawning. “It opens up so many possibilities.”

“Uh huh,” Mizuki said. “Sousuke still has more room for bumps and bruises.”

“We could hang him up like a piñata, if that will make things easier for you, Kaname.” Kyouko was holding the hamster ball. The small rodent had fallen asleep, despite all of the commotion. It was the only sensible one there.

“Don’t tempt me, Ky.” Kaname looked at Sousuke out of the corner of her eye. “Anyway, on to the house rules. You know my motto. Play fair. Play hard. Nobody gets hurt.”

“Except Sousuke,” Ren said, a look of sympathy in her eyes. Sousuke was well meaning. But, he did bring things down on himself. Magnets attract iron. Sousuke Sagara attracts trouble.

“Right!” That exclamation came from a number of young ladies at the same time.

“Well, we all agree on one thing.” Kaname smiled. That smile vanished when she stepped on a piece of Jello with her bare foot.

Like a clean-up crew at the Big Top, a number of girls took it upon themselves to begin cleaning up the mess, now that the excitement was over.

“You know the spiel.” Kaname continued, after thanking her friends. “The game is intended to be fun, to foster greater closeness and communication among the players, and to facilitate personal growth. Push any limit or boundary you want, but don’t break it.”

“Unless it has to do with Sousuke,” Sousuke said. He figured that he would save Kaname and the other girls some trouble.

“Good boy.” One girl stood up, patted Sousuke on one cheek, and then sat down. Everyone else smile or chuckled.

“No wimps allowed,” Kaname said. “There will be no spectators. Everybody plays.” She looked around the room. Hearing no dissent, she continued. “We will be using an Umpire. The Umpire does not play during that round. There will be a new Umpire for each round.” She tossed her hair. “Sousuke will never be Umpire.” That had the girls all whistling. Sousuke opened his mouth and then closed it.

“Neither will Kaname.” Mizuki’s statement had everyone calling out approval. Kaname almost struck Sousuke again, seeing the grin on his face. That otaku almost never grinned!

“The Umpire will make sure that the game stays fun for everybody, and that no one gets ganged up on or pushed too hard. They will get to use these…” Kaname put a clock on the table. She had borrowed it from the Chess Team at school, without their knowing it. Next to it, she placed the halisen and a basket of cosmetics. “Punishment will be left up to the discretion of the Umpire. We will agree on certain punishments in a little bit. This one is a certainty.” She held up the paper fan.

“Kaname, this would be much more humane, despite what one might think at first.” He held up his Glock, ejected the blanks, and slid in a clip of rubber bullets.

“Sousuke, get on you knees for a moment. Hands on the floor.” Kaname swung the halisne back and forth like a pendulum.

“Ooooo-oooo-ooo-oo-oh…”

“Oh, grow up!” Kaname snapped, blushing. “I’m going to demonstrate the standard punishment. If there are any wimps, this is the ‘Wimp Whacker’. Watch.” She smacked Sousuke three times on the rump. “Three times for girls. As many times as you want for boys.”

“Pants on or off?” One girl asked. She wondered just how far this game was going to go. She did not want to get caught up in anything kinky.

“Uhhh… Kaname?” Sousuke swallowed hard.

“ON!” The word burst out of Kaname.

Ren said a quick prayer of thanks. She would have left if things got too raucous. Many of the other partygoers felt the same way, especially since they remembered that Sousuke wasn’t wearing anything underneath his borrowed pajama pants.

“At the start of a round, the Umpire will ask for a volunteer to go first. Having none, she will select the one to start the game.” Kaname looked down at Sousuke, who was still on all fours. “Sheeesh. Get up, you big stupid head. Show some dignity.” She stretched for a moment, arching her back. She froze, realizing that Sousuke had been looking at her when she did so. Thinking of his one quote, she turned bright pink.

“Probably did that for Sousuke’s sake,” Maya quipped.

“Hussy,” Ryo laughed. Mizuki began snickering.

“I bet Mizuki wishes she could do that!” One girl had seen Mizuki’s reaction.

“Miss Inaba?” Sousuke cocked his head. “That was not something you practiced, when I was learning to be Shirai.” He frowned. “You are not much larger now than you were then.” He froze, realizing what he had just said.

“I… you… that’s…” Mizuki looked over at Kaname. “Aren’t you going to hit him or something?”

“Nope!” Kaname grinned a Cheshire Cat smile. “As I was saying, the Umpire will chose the First Asker. That person will ask the first question of the round, and the last. They will have the benefit of being the only one who asks ‘Truth or Dare’ to two different people in the same round.” She shrugged. “Unless they want to ask Sousuke twice.” She started to smile again, but stopped. Maybe that wasn’t a good rule after all! She cleared her throat. “The Original Asker picks out any person she or he wants, and asks ‘Truth or Dare’. The person chosen responds with ‘truth’ or ‘dare.’ Or, if they are courageous, she can say ‘your choice’. There will be no passing, unless the Umpire judges that a question is too harsh.”

“One must tell the truth?” Sousuke looked troubled. While no one there but Kaname knew about Mithril, he could not answer any question that might expose his mission.

“Yes,” Kaname said. “Or, I should say ‘Affirmative’.” Kaname flinched. She knew exactly what Sousuke was thinking. “Lying is very bad. That will get the worst of punishments. If someone doesn’t think the question is fair, they can ask the group or the Umpire. Or, if they can choose to wimp out, and receive their just desserts.” That would give them both a way out!

“I understand. A game of duty and obligation.” Sousuke nodded his head. “One’s honor will be at stake. I understand.”

Kaname frowned. Sousuke knew what she thought about his mantra of ‘duty’ and ‘obligation.’ Big jerk! Moron! Stupid head! “Yes,” she said. “After the one person answers their Truth or does their Dare, she gets to choose the next unasked player.

“Or ‘he’,” Sousuke put in.

“I know that Sousuke!” Kaname clenched her fists. “That’s implied.” She sighed. “No answer should reveal information about another person without that person's consent, or violate serious "real world" confidentiality matters. The Umpire makes final determination as to the fairness of any question. A fair Dare must be something that can be done then and there, and in the presence of the other players, and take less than three minutes.”

“I see,” Sousuke said, rubbing his chin. “That lets out running a mile with a full pack… one hundred push ups… or scaling a fair sized building with climbing gear. Pity.”

“That’s right, Sousuke…” Kaname drawled her answer, slumping her shoulders. She and the others wondered just what kind of things Sousuke might ask.

“Stripping down the Glock or TMP could be done under three minutes, however.” Sousuke’s face brightened. “One could do it suspended upside down from the shower bar or balcony.”

“Wonderful,” Kaname said. After letting out her breath, inhaling deeply and breathing out again, she continued.

“He really needs a girlfriend…” One girl’s remark had everyone nodding.

”No he doesn’t,” Kaname said, much too quickly. He stood straighter, covering her slip. “Who could ever deserve a boyfriend like that!”

“Maybe we’ll all find out…” Mizuki scowled at Kaname, still upset that she had been left hanging earlier.

“Well… yes… maybe we will…” Kaname waved her hand in dismissive fashion. She couldn‘t let the others know that her heart had jumped up into her throat. “Now that the interruption is over, back to the rules. If a player refuses to answer a fair question truthfully, or refuses to perform a fair Dare, then the questioned person has revealed that they are a ’Wimp.’ After receiving their punishment, it will be their turn to ask ‘Truth or Dare’. At the end of the round, a new Umpire can be chosen, and another round started.” She put her hands on her hips. “One thing. Anything said in the game, stays in the game. Agree?”

“Fine” Maya made an ‘OK’ sign with her hand.

“Count on us!” Ryo said.

“You’re the boss!” Kyouko smiled cheerfully. That rule made her feel better already.

“Hey, Kaname…” A girl raised her hand. “Can we play ‘Hot Seat’ style, too?”

Kaname blinked rapidly. She ground her teeth together for a moment. That was really upping the ante. “Well, we should probably vote on that. For those who don’t know what that means…”

“High voltage electrical charges applied to one’s chair, to force one to tell the truth?” Sousuke scratched the back of his neck. “Sitting on hot coals until one answers truthfully?” He looked down at the folding chair in the middle of the room. “Flameless ration heaters of the type used in the most recent generations of MREs?”

Kaname froze again. If she were a thermometer, the red would have started at her feet, climbed up past her midriff, and burst out through the top of her head. The question was bad enough. But, Sousuke had mentioned ’MREs.’ He knew that she considered that a curse word! Reaching her hand out for the halisen, she stopped, willing herself to remain calm.

“You know you want to, Kaname.” Kyouko nodded her head. She had been watching her friend's face.

“Might as well get it out of your system,” Ryo added.

“It’s OK. We don’t mind. No one will think any less of you.” One of the girls gave her a jaunty salute.

Kaname wiped a tear away from her eyes. It was good to have friends. She smacked Sousuke on top of the head. “The hot seat variant of the game has one person always being it for the round. They take all of the Truths and all of the Dares until everybody has had a chance to ask.” She looked at Sousuke, feeling a bit guilty. She needed to treat him better than that. Some day.

“There’s another way,” one girl said, marveling at Sousuke’s ability to bounce back up as if nothing had happened. “The Asker can pose a question that everyone has to answer.“

As it turned out, the group voted to try each method of playing. They would start of with the traditional way, and then switch over after a while.

“So, who should be Umpire first?” Mizuki asked warily. “I will, if no one else wants to.”

“I nominate Ren,” Kaname said. That choice met with universal acceptance.

“OK Ren, tell us who the first Asker will be.” Maya said.

“Sousuke,” Ren said.