Bar opens at 8

[ZyreX]

DUN! DUN! DUUUUUUN!! mr.Z is back
Free Drinks for alll!!

As of today im a free man again!

Got out from 11months of swedish military service!!

Yay!!

Best regards
PixelWiz ZyreX

[terran empire]

I love it when people pay for my drinks means i get to order the most expensive stuff.

[ZyreX]

Good thing I still have my spare key for the booze in the bar..

[Kashim]

Need.. more.. BOMF... X_X Dear god, why must Shouji Gatou write in japanese!? I bet we could kidnap him and bring him to an English-speaking country.. brainwash him to write in English.. And work me into the novels, of course.

[krysinello]

Too much time, by the time that happens, I would have already did a very very very crap translation of them. I am planning on importing them, though I think I'll lose interest in translating for myself due to taking to long, quicker to wait for them to be translated.

[Miz~Chidori]

wb ZyreX! Only passed a troop of Swedish military taking the trolley into the mountains, but I hear its purty tough to be manditory. Glad you made it back in one piece!


... though, bar patrons may challenge that

[Taurec]

>
> A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each
> other on a long flight. The lawyer asks her if she
> would like to play a fun game. The Blonde is tired and
> just wants to take a nap. So she politely decline and
> tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer insists that
> the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question. If
> you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. If you
> ask me a question and if I don't know the answer, I
> will pay you $500." This catches the blonde's
> attention. To keep him quiet, she agrees to play the
> game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the
> distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde
> doesn't say a word. She reaches into her purse, pulls
> out $5, and hands it to the lawyer.
> Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer,
> "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down
> with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop and searches
> all references. He uses the air-phone. He searches the
> Net and even the British Library. He sends E-mails to
> all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After
> one hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes
> up the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde takes the
> $500 and goes back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts
> not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and asks,
> "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and
> comes down with four?" The blonde reaches into her
> purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.



Guess we have become a comedy cafe .... for today.

[ZyreX]

A man walking along a California beach was deep in
prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord,
grant me one wish." The sky clouded above his head
and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you
have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant
you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive
over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic.
Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of
undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom
of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take!
I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your
desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and
think of another wish, a wish you think would honour
and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he
said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I
want to know how they feel inside, what they are
thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they
cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I
can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord was silent for a while and then replied, ..................
"You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"


Yay one month and a few days left now... tau start packing your stuff
cause ur coming with us!!... you do know that I make a stop through the Netherlands on my way down right?

[Eisenmann]

don't know if I'm just stupid but I don't understand your joke Tau. or it is some english proverb I don't know??

[tellie]

The blonde didn't know the answer of her own question... So, by losing $5 twice, she got $500 and won $490 without knowing anything.

Rules didn't say that there needed to be an ansver

[KiLlEr]

A Hungarian Joke:

Moszkvai manager elmegy medvére vadászni Szibériába, Csukcs földre. Kap maga mellé egy csukcs vadászt is. Nézi a csukcs a managert, majd megszólal:
- Maga manager. Akkor maga okos, ugye?
- Igen-igen.
- És tud lőni?
- Nem először vagyok medve vadászaton, csak Szibériában még nem jártam.
- És gyorsan tud futni?
- Hosszútávfutó versenyző voltam.

Nu, kimennek a terepre. Meglátják a medvét, azt mondja a csukcs:
- fussunk.

Futnak visszafelé, medve trappol utánuk, közben gondolkodik a manager, hogy mi a francnak fut, mikor van nála puska. Azzal megfordul, céloz, lő: medve eldől, nem mozdul. Csukcs megáll, odamegy a tetemhez és csóválja a fejét:
- Manager, manager, maga tényleg tud lőni. Meg gyorsan futni is, de mégiscsak egy barom.
- Miért?
- Most hogyan visszük el a medvét a faluig?

And the English Translation:

A Manager from Moscow went to hunt bear in the Seiberian wilderness. He acquired a local tracker who is familiar with the area. The tracker eyes the manager, and says:
- You're a manager. Then you must be smart eh?
- Yes I am.
- And you can shoot?
- This isn't the first time I hunted bear. Its just the first time I did so in Siberia.
- And can you run fast?
- I use to be a marathon runner.

So, they went out into the wild. They see a bear, and the tracker yells:
- RUN!!!!!!!!

And they run back the way they came, the bear tramples after them. Meanwhile, the manager thinks, why the hell are we running for when I have a rifle. With that he turns, aims, and fires. The bear topples over, and lays motionless. The tracker stops, walks back toward the corpse, and shakes his head.
- Manager, manager, You are obviously a good shot. And you can run really fast. But you are an idiot.
- Why?
- Now how are we suppose to get the bear back to the village?

Another Hungarian joke:

Férj és feleség vacsoráznak. Az asszony leeszi magát.
- A fene - mondja - úgy nézek ki, mint egy disznó!
- Igen - mondja a férj - és még le is etted magad!

And the English translation:

A husband and wife are eating dinner. The wife spills food on herself:
- Dammit! - she says - I look like a pig!
- Yes you do - says the husband - and you spilled food all over yourself!

[tellie]

Ok, if I belived in some god, I would start praying that I will never have to learn Hungarian Just looking those words makes me me dizzy... All those ~ and ´

Damn, why can't I be a quick learner when it comes to lanquages? Just learning some English was nearly impossibile, and getting my current skills took me 12 years. Sad.

Then, some comedy cafe.

A sign in antique boutique: We buy unneeded junk - We sell antique

- Teatcher please! I was still doing my homework when it was 12pm!
- When did you started?
- Well when it was 11.45pm...

- What is the first price when competition is about telling political jokes?
- 25 years

- What is the difference between a camel and a student?
- A camel can be some weeks without drinking, but on the other hand, camel can't drink some weeks.

[Chief Petty Officer Klerk]

I think we have enough for another BBQ boss.

[terran empire]

* makes no comment just come in and waits in line after basting himself in olive oil*

[Taurec]

CPOK was at the barbecue and HELLFIRE was at the barbecue and I was at the barbecue; three men standing around a barbecue, sipping beer, staring at sausages, rolling them backwards and forwards, never leaving them alone.

We didn't know why we were at the barbecue, we were just drawn there like moths to a flame. The barbecue was a powerful gravitational force, a man-magnet.

HELLFIRE said, "the thin ones could use a turn."

I said, "yeah I reckon the thin ones could use a turn."

CPOK said, "yeah they really need a turn."

It was a unanimous turning decision. CPOK was the Tong-master, a true artist. He gave a couple of practice snaps of his long silver tongs, SNAP! SNAP! Before moving in, prodding, teasing, and with an elegant flick of his wrist, rolling them onto their little backs. A lesser tong-man would've flicked too hard; the sausages would've gone full circle, back to where they started.

"Nice." I said.

The others went "Yeah."

KilLer was passing us, he heard the siren-song - sizzle of the snags, the barbecue was calling, beckoning, KilLerrrrrr ...come. He stuck his head in and said, "any room?" We said "yeah" and began the barbecue shuffle:

CPOK shuffled to the left, I shuffled to the left, HELLFIRE shuffled to the left. KilLer slipped in beside HELLFIRE. We sipped our beer.

Now there were four of us staring at sausages, and CPOK gave me the nod, my cue. I was second-in-command, and I had to take the raw sausages out of the plastic bag and lay them on the barbecue; not too close together, not too far apart, curl them into each other's bodies like lovers - fat ones, thin ones, herbed and continental. The chipolatas were tiny, they could easily slip down between the grill, falling into the molten hot-bead-netherworld below. Carefully I laid them sideways ACROSS the grill, clever thinking. CPOK snapped his tongs with approval, there was no greater barbecue honour.

Zyrex came along, he said "looking good, looking good." The irresistible lure of the barbecue had pulled him in too. We said "yeah" and did the shuffle, left, left, left, left, he slipped in beside KilLer, we sipped our beer.

Five men, lots of sausages. HELLFIRE was the Fork-pronger; he had the fork that pronged the tough hides of the Bavarian bratwursts and he showed lots of promise. Stabbing away eagerly, leaving perfect little vampire holes up and down the casing.

Zyrex was shaking his head, "I reckon they cook better if you don't poke them..."

There was a long silence. You could have heard a chipolata drop; this new-comer was a rabble-rouser, bringing in his crazy ideas from outside. He didn't understand the hierarchy; first the Tong-master, then the Sausage-layer, then the Fork-pronger . Everyone below was just a watcher. Maybe eventually they'll move up the ladder, but for now - don't rock the Weber.

Kelek popped her head in."Hmmm, smells good!" She was trying to jostle into the circle. We closed ranks, pulling our heads down and our shoulders in, mumbling "yeah yeah yeah", but making no room for her. She was keen, going round to the far side of the barbecue, heading for the only available space. . . . the gap in the circle where all the smoke and ashes blew. Nobody could survive the gap. Kelek was going to try.

She stood there stubbornly, smoke blinding her eyes, ashes filling her nostrils, sausage fat spattering all over her arms and face. Eventually she couldn't take it any more, she gave up, and backed off.

KilLer waited till she was gone and sipped his beer. We sipped our beer, "yeah."

CPOK handed me his tongs. I looked at him and he nodded. I knew what was happening, I'd waited a long time for this moment - the abdication. The tongs weighed heavy in my hands, firm in my grip - was I ready for the responsibility? Yes, I was. I held them up high and they glinted in the sun.

"Don't forget to turn the thin ones," CPOK said as he walked away from the barbecue, disappearing toward the house.

"Yeah." I called back, "I will, I will." I snapped them twice, SNAP! SNAP! before moving in. Prodding, teasing, and with an elegant flick of my wrist, rolling them back onto their little bellies. I was a natural, I was the TONG-MASTER.

........Atleast .. until CPOK got back from the toilet.