[FIC] Waiting Is The Hardest Part (part 3 of 4)

[dd]

Kaname continues to go through her own personal phases, dealing with grief and separation. Still no word on Sousuke....

WEDNESDAY

Kaname had awakened angry. Very angry.

She was angry at the world. Why did there need to be terrorists? Why were terrorists and power seekers threatening the lives of so many people? Why were the Ukrainians so inconsiderate to the Tartars? Why were so many people fighting over power and control? Couldn't they just be content with what they had? Why didn't they just take a step away and enjoy the love of their families?

She was angry at Mithril. Hadn't she and Sousuke done enough for them over the years? Did they have to reach out and grab Sousuke every time some large crisis raised its ugly head? Hadn't the world survived countless crises WITHOUT Sousuke? Why couldn't they have done a better job of planning? Three Aegis Arm Slaves were destroyed! She truly began to hate the organization. They had taken Sousuke from her. He might never return. They were responsible for her loss.

She was angry at Sousuke. He had chosen the world over her. He had left sounding so confident that he would be home in good time. He was not here when she needed him the most---a baby on the way...Tomoe injured...a car on its last legs...EVERYTHING. He had caused her so much pain and anguish.

She was especially angry with herself.

Kaname thought about the second and third fables that she had read to Tomoe the night before: "The Pig and the Sheep" and "The Oxen and the Wagon Wheels."


When a shepherd came to count his sheep one morning, he was thunderstruck to find a pig huddled among the flock. "Howver he came to be here, that pig will fetch a fat price at the butcher's!" the shepherd thought. He snatched up the pig and tucked him under his arn.

At once the pig began to squeal and kick, thrashing his short legs. "What a fuss you're making!" scolded one elderly sheep. "The shepherd often carries one of us away, but you'd never hear a sheep whimper like that. Show a little courage!"

"Easy for you to say!" gasped the frightened pig. "When the shepherd carries you away, he only wants your wool. But, he wants MY bacon, and that will be the end of me!"

MORAL: IT'S EASY TO TALK OF COURAGE WHEN YOU'RE SAFE AND SOUND


"One rainy day, a pair of oxen pulled a cart down a country lane. The dirt of the road had turned to muck and mire, and the oxen trudged along through mud up to their knees, straining against the weight of the cart with every step. Still, they never uttered one word of complaint.

The wheels of the cart, on the other hand, groaned with every turn and creaked at every joint. At last the oxen could endure it no longer.

"Keep quiet!" they cried. "You have only to turn; what is that to grumble over? We have to pull all of the weight of the cart, and you don't hear us compalining!"

MORAL: THOSE WHO COMPLAIN MOST OFTEN SUFFER LEAST


Kaname and Sousuke had fought just before he left. It was a one-sided fight. She had yelled, cried, cajoled, glowered, and made attempts to use logic that served her purpose. Sousuke had calmly stated his position, as well as the position of Mithril and the people Mithril hoped to save. His quiet demeanor, unfaltering logic, and absence of outward emotion only served to infuriate Kaname all the more. Her memory of the fight was sketchy. There were probably things that she had said that she made a point to forget. And, her conscience may have editorialized, adding things that didn't happen.


"Souske...I can't believe you are so insensitive, so bull-headed...how can you leave at a time like this?"

"Kaname...this is not the first time we have had this type of argument. This is not the first time I have had to leave you. You know I cannot give you the full details. You have to trust me when I say this is something bigger than us."

"Bigger than us? Bigger than me and the children! Bigger than your unborn baby! NOTHING is bigger than those."

"Kaname...."

"Don't you DARE 'Kaname' me! There is NOTHING more important than your family. You promised me that you would never abandon me. There are many people who Mithril can get to do what you think you need to do. I only have one husband. The children only have one father."

"Kaname, this is not something new. I was a soldier when we met. I was a soldier when we got married. I was a soldier when Moto and Tomoe were born...."

"No, Sousuke, it's NOT the same. You didn't leave from our honeymoon. You didn't leave when Moto and Tomoe were born. It's bad enough that you still go on missions now that you are a father. Have you ever thought about what happens to ME if you don't come back? Have you thought about what happens to the children? At least they have known their father. This baby hasn't had that chance yet!"

"I understand that there is nothing I can say that will change the way that you are feeling now. All I can say is that if I do not go, it may be millions of fathers, mothers, and children who suffer. I know you will understand what I am trying to say some day."

"No, I don't think that I will. I know that I don't WANT to! Why you, Sousuke. Why YOU?!"

"Kaname...."

"WHY THE HELL DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE YOU???"

"It is not always me. I am certain that you can remember that I told you I have voluntarily reduced my availability drastically. I am only called in when there is the greatest need."

"The greatest need? WHOSE greatest need. Do you even trust those bastards? They will use you up, throw you away, and find someone new. Let them find someone new NOW, before they get you killed!!!"

"Kaname...."

"NO, Sousuke. Sooner or later you WILL die! How many comrades have you had over the years since we met? How many of them are still alive, if they didn't walk away by their own choice? Kurz...Melissa...who else?"

"Many of the fallen were heroes, Kaname. Their actions helped avert disasters of enormous proportion. If it were not for their bravery and their sacrifices...."

"CAN'T YOU GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK MORONIC MILITARY MIND THAT I DO NOT WANT A HERO!!! I want you, Sousuke. I love you. The children need you. The whole DAMN world doesn't even know you exist."

"It is not that I feel the need to prove myself to anyone, Kaname. I have no thirst for glory. I do what I feel must be done. Can you honestly say you could love a man who would back down from his resposibility? Do the children deserve a father who lets scores of people suffer needlessly so that he is not inconvenienced?"

"Yes, Sousuke. YES! I want you alive. I want you with me. I know what type of man you are. You aren't going to change that by staying home with me now. PLEASE, Sousuke. I am begging you...don't go away now. We don't need the money. We don't need Mithril's protection. There is nothing more they have to offer you but a casket and a folded flag!"

"I love you, Kaname. And I respect your feelings. There are only four people in the world qualified to do what I must do. Four is not nearly enough. Sending only three might mean the difference between thousands dead and millions dead. You tutored me with math. You know that I can appreciate the difference between three, four, one thousand, and one million. No matter what you think, I truly have no choice. And I have no more time to spare arguing. I must make the flight out."

"Sousuke...If I didn't love you so much, I could HATE you...."


That last statement had echoed within her head for days after Sousuke had left. If those were the last words he ever heard from her, how could she live with herself? She could imagine him far away, slowly bleeding to death, her words a nail in his heart. There had been no way to reach him after he had left. There had been no way to take those words back.

She wanted so very much just to tell him again just how much she loved him.

The guilt threatened to overwhelm her now.


IT'S EASY TO TALK OF COURAGE WHEN YOU'RE SAFE AND SOUND


She had felt so righteous in her arguments. She had felt justified in her anger. It was true, she stood at risk to lose something precious to her. But, so did Sousuke. The difference was that he would be in harms way.


THOSE WHO COMPLAIN MOST OFTEN SUFFER LEAST


She felt ashamed. Not for her preferences and her desires. She had every right to feel the way that she did. She felt ashamed for implying that Sousuke did not care as much as she did. He was willing to do what he thought was right despite his personal feelings. While she was sitting safe and warm at home, he could be suffereing in some cold unfamiliar forest. He could be chained in some dark and dank cell, awaiting interrogation or execution.

************************************************************

Kaname's guilt drove her to dwell on the dangers that Sousuke must be facing. She had no idea whatsoever about the terrorist group and its capabilities. There was no way to find out anything about that. On the other hand, she could find out something about the Ukrainian armed forces. She was no battle hardened valkyrie or a military otaku, but she was a soldier's wife. Sousuke had shelves full of military reports and analyses, and she knew just where to look to gather the information she wanted

She came across a description of the Navy of Ukraine.


The goal of that navy was to defend the soverignty and state interests in the sea, neutralizing groups of the enemy within its operational zone. The operational zone includes the waters of the Black Sea, Sea of Azov, the Danube and Dneiper Rivers, and other regions determined by state interests.

Main tasks pertinent to Sousuke's location included assisitance of the Army in its operations, neutralization of any amphibious forces, and establishment of the peace.

The navy consisted of 5 branches: surface forces, submarines, Naval aviation, coast rocket-artillery, and marines. Various aircraft and helicopters were at their disposal.


A little more digging revealed information about the Air Force of Ukraine.


Ukrainian pilots are renound for high airmanship and heroism. They are experienced, many of them having honed their skills in Afghanistan. Sousuke would appreciate that. They represent the high mobilty force of the nation, working in the roles of Air defence, country airs space security, objects assault and battery. Sousuke would NOT appreciate that. Also troop support, landing operations support, and reconnaisance.

Main tasks include achievement of air superiority; covering of national forces against enemy air strike; breakdown of enemy maneuver; destruction of enemy military communications and infrastructure; and attack on enemy troops landed. Oh, Sousuke!

Bombers include Tu-22m3 and Su-24m aircraft. Assault aviation consists of Su-25 aircraft. Fighter aviation consists of Su-27 and Mig-29 fighters. Reconnaisance consists of Su-24mr and Su-17m4r aircraft. Transport aircraft include Il-76 and An-24 aircraft.

Kaname knew enough to be worried about the combined firepower available to a national airforce of this caliber flying from regional bases. She was also highly concerned about available ground forces. that's what would prove the greatest threat to her husband if he were on foot. Shuffling through more pages, she came across the details she was interested in.

Facts about the Army of the Armed Forces of Ukraine.


The main mechanized and armoured force has the task of holding occupied areas, lines and positions; repelling enemy forces; penetrating enemy defence lines; and defeating enemy forces. Mechanized forces and armor units have at their disposal T-84II, T-84, T-72, and T-64 tanks. Armored personnel carriers include BTR-80, BTR-70, and BTR-60 vehicles. BMP-1 and BMP-2 are plentiful.

Rocket forces and artillery groups control operational and tactical missiles, formations of howitzers, anti-tank weaponry, and mortar units. Weapons include "Smerch," "Uragan," and "Grad" multi-launch rocket systems, "Giacint," "Pion," and "Gvodzdika howitzers, and "Shturm," "Konkurs," and "Rapira" anti-armor missiles.

Army aviations operates a large number of Mi-8 helicopters, and modern variants of the Mi-24.

Kaname skipped over sections dealing with Army air defense. It might be significant to any Mithril or allied aircraft in the region, but it had little bearing on Sousuke.

The Mobile Fighting Suits units had a wide variety of Arm Slaves, including RK-92, RK-98, and RKX-2 models. Sousuke had penciled in some other notes, but Kaname could not read his handwriting other than the words "Excellent training!" and "dedicated corps."


Those words did not give her confidence.


The situation looked grim. This was no small guerilla group, private mercenary army, or third world nation. Sousuke had been in potentially worse situations...but make no mistake about it, the Ukrainian military alone would serve as a daunting opponent.

Just who were the "good guys" and who were the "bad guys" within the opposing groups in the coup? Would any of them view the actions of the Mithril soldiers as a selfless act rather than an invasion of soverign soil? Would there be any identifiable forces that Sousuke could seek safe refuge with?

*************************************************************

When Tomoe finally woke up, she was unhappy that she would not be able to go to Day Care and see her friends. She also felt that she had failed at her attempt to climb the tree AND get back down again safely---she was eager to get things right the nexst time. She did not understand why her mother seemed so dead set against her learning how to climb.

Once she realized that she had the couch to herself...the most colorful and warm comforter...a whole pile of knitted pillows...and the TV remote control, Tomoe was content to stay home. She even was allowed to enjoy breakfast in the living room---a rare treat. Her mother confused her again. Why did Mama's face turn that color when Tomoe talked about how much fun it was to break a bone?

This was not all fun and games to Tomoe, however. She had a job to do. Daddy worked hard to watch his tapes and find things to teach her and her brother. It was her duty to watch all of the cartoons, so she could tell her father everything that happened in his absence! Her mother did not understand that. She thought her daughter was simply having fun.

The only fly in the ointment was that she had to stay put on the couch. She would have liked sneaking up on her mother, watching all of the things she would be doing during the day. At least she had something to look forward to later in the afternoon. She would be getting a cast! She'd never had one of those before....

************************************************************

Kaname sat on the floor of the baby's room. Everywhere she looked, she saw something that had needed to be done, but wasn't done yet. Everything that wasn't done was something she had either expected Sousuke to be able to do, or had expected to be able to do with him.

The new crib was still in its box, sitting against the wall near a pyramid of bumper pads, matress protectors, sheets, and blankets. A large paper bag held the border she had wanted to put up around the room, along with the matreials necessary to carry out that project. The new dresser was prperly situated, but empty. There was so much shopping she had needed to do, but hadn't been able to get sufficiently motivated for. Diapers. Socks. Booties. Caps. Baby T-shirts and shorts. Jumpsuits and sweatsuits. Wash cloths. Changing pads. Rubber pants. Bibs. Bath oils. Shampoo and body lotions. Baby powder. Pop-up moisturized towlettes. She also needed a new backpack, a diaper pail, and a suitable car carrier.

Kamame sighed, overwhelmed by the enormity of the task ahead of her. She wasn't emotionally ready for the arrival of this baby. She was physically exhausted, and still had labor to look forward to. There were items she needed for herself, and she didn't know just when she could find the time to get them. She hated being an imposition on Kyouko, and would be embarrassed calling Sousuke's base saying "Could you please send over someone to watch my children? I need to go out and grab some microwaveable meals, vitamins, fruit juices, extra-absorbant maxi-pads, breast pads, and a breast pump." She could just imagine someone writing THAT down in the log book!

She would need to call the base and see if Cmdr. Naha could do her a couple of favors. He HAD offered. If someone could bring Sousuke's car back, that would be a great help. If someone could take her car to the shop, that would be equally wonderful. And if any of Sousuke's trainees and their wives were willing to babysit and watch the apartment while Kaname was in the hospital, she would consider herself blessed.

"There is so much to do, baby!" She spoke to her unborn child, rubbing her belly. "I REALLY appreciate you taking your time like this." She rubbed her hand through her hair, stopping for a momement when she decided she wanted to call the life inside her something other than "baby." She and Sousuke had not gotten around to discussing names before he had been called away. That fact saddened her, but she put her chin up and said "Hmmppfff. I can do that myself! If he's not here, then it's just too bad for him. I should name the baby Kurz." THAT would teach him. "No, Mardukas. Or...what's the masculine form for Tessa?" As soon as she said that last part, she felt a rumbling in her stomach. "Sorry, baby. Mama was just joking!"

Getting serious, Kaname remembered the book of baby names that she still had stashed away in a cluttered storage chest. She and Sousuke had never chosen any names from that book, but Sousuke had written down a list of that names he favored. Moto's and Tomoe's names had come from that list. She might as well carry on the tradition.

Retrieving the book, she read each name aloud a number of times, hand on her abdomen. The baby would choose the name. Whichever name she spoke when the baby moved next...that would be the one.


Shusaku Chiba Sagara


Takuan Soho Sagara


Muso Gonuosuke Sagara


No movement. "Don't you like any of those names, sweetheart?" No movement. Feeling a bit mischievous, Kaname said "Kurz." She felt a short series of movements. "That doesn't count!"


She started over again.


Shusaku Chiba


Takuan Soho


Muso Gonuosuke


Still no movement. This baby was being rather uncooperative. "OK, little soldier. I expect you to make a choice this time around."


Shusaku....


Ah! Movement. Shusaku Chiba Sagara it was. Not even born yet, and such an obedient tyke. "Maybe I shouldn't have gone to all that trouble" Kaname said, relieved to have one more thing out of the way. "Maybe I should have just chosen a name I heard lately, like Achilles, Sun Wukong, or Calcaneus. Anything, except Wormwood!"

She had only been joking, and should be happy to see that her sense of humor was returning. That one particular word caught in her throat. It was not one she could afford to take lightly. Not yet.

************************************************************

The word "Wormwood" had gotten Kaname thinking again. Thinking and worrying. She remembered the Bibical passage. She took some time to think through her other findings again.

The web address that Sousuke had provided her with was very informative. It spoke about the hydraulics of various large bodies of water, and listed the inflow and outflow of all seas and large scale lakes. It also touched on the subject of underground water, great drains, and distillery units.


Vast subterranean fresh water rivers had been discovered, forming an extensive network. There were those in Florida and the surrounding areas. There were those in the Caribbean, the Middle East, even beneath the Arabian desert. Some such rivers flow underneath the ocean depths, flowing out via "blue holes," vents near islands, or openings thousands of miles away from their distillation sites.

Environmental nightmares could result if such fresh water sources were poisoned by industry and the improper care of the environmment. But, it would be one thing to have limited and superficial sourecs of pollution near such source waters. It would be an altogether different story if someone chose to act out of spite, maliciousness, or some evil plot.

If one examined an atlas of the Middle East, they would see a large number of surrounding bodies of water. Going clockwise, they would notice the Persian Gulf, the Gulf of Oman, the Arabian Sea, the Gulf of Aden, the Red Sea, the Mediterranean Sea, the Aegean Sea, the Dardanelles, the Sea of Marmara, the Bosporus, the Sea of Azov, the Caspian Sea, the Aral Sea...and the Black Sea.

Great pressure at the depths of oceans and seas forces feeds water into the fresh water system---an automatic pumping system. At sites refered to as distillary units, salt water is transformed into fresh water.


Kaname narrowed down her results, thinking particularly about the Black Sea.


The prime rivers flowing into the Black Sea included the Bosporus, the Danube, the Dniester, the "Southern" Bug, the Don, the Dnieper, the Kuban, the Rioni, and the Sakarya. That was a considerable amount of water flowing down from South Eastearn Europe, Western Asia, and the Mediterranean. It had to go somewhere. It did not simply evaporate. There must be sufficient drain holes to compenstate.

The largest mapped drain holes that were closest to land were seen in the vicinity of Sinop and Inebolu in Turkey, and Yalta on the Crimean peninsula. Those drain holes have water entering at a few knots, strong enough to suck in divers, small submersibles, and untethered deep sea vehicles.

Given the hydraulics of the Black Sea, the waters that enter thr great drains flow via subterranean waterways to distant sites in Turkey, Syria, Iraq, Jordan, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman, United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Bahrain, and Kuwait.


Kaname had also come across refernces that she had followed through on. Some were quite concerning.


There were a significant number of experts who placed the blame for the Gulf War Syndrome on the Chernobyl incident. Soluble alkalis and Cesium 137 made its way into waterways leading into the Black Sea. Such poisons were not removed by the distillation units.


It hadn't taken any large stretch of the imagination to conjure up a frightening scenario. Someone understood all too well about the hydraulics of the Black Sea and the existence of subterranean water systems. They may well have taken their inspiration from the accidental low level poisoning of the fresh water sources of the Middle east. The Bible referred to Wormwood as a luminous star. Perhaps the person coining the term "Wormwood Hazard" was making reference to a man made terror such as a nuclear explosion. Dumping large amounts of concentrated nuclear waste materials might also have a devistating effect. The motives were harder to nail down, but might very well have to do with some single nation or conglomerate of nations wanting to savage the countries controlling the vast petroleum reservoirs.

Her guilt prompted her to remember her words and re-examinine her motives and priorities. Was it right for her to be selfish, wanting to keep Sousuke out of harm's way? How should she feel about his choosing the mission over her? With so much at stake for the world as a whole, should she support Sousuke's decision to walk into the lion's den? Should she be proud of his courage and selfless dedication?

The answers were not simple. Her heart and her head were not in total agreement. She was beiginning to slip back into depression again and needed to get up, get ready, and get going. There were too many things that needed to get done.

************************************************************

Kaname hung up the phone, feeling satisfied and greateful. She had spoken briefly with Cmdr. Naha, who had given her his permission to send over a catered lunch for the office staff, support group, and Arm Slave trainees. She was feeling very generous, thanks to the overwhelming show of kindness she had received from base personnel. A large number of staff members had volunteered to help with her and Sousuke's cars, and Sgt. Sai Takaoka---one of Sousuke's most talented trainees---had called to say that he and his wife Ishizu would be glad to keep an eye on Moto and Tomoe.

Things were looking up.

After an early lunch, Kaname bundled Tomoe up warmly and drove her to the Kokusaikuko Clinic for her appointment with Dr. Masumoto. Her good fortune continued. She was able to see the doctor promptly, and he had no concerns beyond those previously mentioned by the ER doctor at the hospital. While the wait for having the actual cast put on would be about an hour, one of the receptionist was only too glad to look after Tomoe for a while.

Tomoe was busy examining a model skeleton, learning the names of all of the bones. She wouldn't mind if her mother ran out to do some quick shopping down the block, as long as she could have the juice and cookies that another office worker had offered her. It was a deal.

Having a perscription for a certain size of crutches, Kaname stopped in at a nearby Medical Supplies store. The crutches were in stock. Shelves in the store also held a fortuitous bounty---many of the items she had needed to pick up for herself or the baby where available there.. The remaining items on her mental list were readily obtainable in the Pharmacy and the department store further down the street. It took a couple of trips to the car, but she finished in good time.

When she arrived back at the clinic, Tomoe was leading the receptionists in a little ditty that she had composed about the bones in the body. She was still singing that song when she was wheeled into the procedure room. The song hadn't ended when she was wheeled back out, cast in place. Kaname was under the impression that she might be hearing that song for quite some time.

Before leaving, Kaname decided to check Tomoe's coat pockets. She wanted to make certain that she hadn't misplaced her gloves. She hadn't. The gloves were crammed into the deepest depths of her coat by packets of cookies. Kaname gave her daughter The Enquiring Eye.

"Mama, they said I culd have a cookie for every bone I got right. I got a lot right." She sounded very pleased, and a bit defiant.

"Is it OK?" Kaname asked the receptionists. "There will likely be other hungry children, and I don't want to leave your cubbard bare."

"Oh, its fine. We have a lot more where that came from. She was a little angel." Tomoe had won over another crowd.

Kaname thanked the receptionists for their imprompyu babysitting and for the cookies. When she turned to leave, Tomoe tugged insistantly at her coat. "You're forgetting something, Mama!" She pointed to a large bag on the floor. It was filled with cookies. She had done a very good job.

*************************************************************

"Don't you forget what I told you, Kaname" Kyouko added, just before heading out the door. "You can't impose on me, I'm your best friend. And don't worry too much about Sousuke, I'm certain he'll return soon. He ALWAYS makes it back. He always comes back to you." That was just like Kyouko. Always so optimistic. Always intent on looking at the bright side of things. Kaname couldn't imagine a better friend.

Kyouko had been able to stay a short while before running off to pick up her own children. She had brought Motoko home from school, reporting that he had caused quite a stir today---in a good way. He had surprised and impressed the other teachers by independently composing hokku, hakai, and haiku. According to folks in the know, some of his work was quite good.

"Have you heard any good gossip from the old gang recently, Ky?" Kaname had asked at one point. Kyouko was all too glad to fill her in on the juicy details.

"The biggest story has to do with Shinji and Mizuki. I would NEVER have guessed that the two of them would have ended up together. Apparently, they both had jobs in Kyoto, and ran across each other one day. Before they knew it, they were an item. Shinji told me they would be heading back here in a few months, when his transfer to the Tokyo offices of Mitsubishi takes effect." Kyouko shook her head, a big grin on her face.

"He's still in engineering? I would have thought he would have joined the armed forces by now!" Kaname laughed. Kyouko had succeeded in raising her spirits.

"Well, close enough. Apparently he will be doing design work on the next generation tank and a future Arm Slave,"

"The follow-ups to the T-90 and the X8?"

"If you say so, Kaname. Looks like you have been around Sousuke for much too long!" They could both laugh at that.

"Yes. What else?"

"Oh, yes! Thinking about Mizuki reminds me of something I read in the newspaper the other day. Satoru Shirai. He had gone into politics and was making quite a name for himself---until he was caught by a female police officer posing as a prostitute. It appears that he needed to be hospitalized after both his wife and his girlfriend caught up with him."

"Serves him right! Once a pig, always a pig. I wish I had known. I would have sent him a sympathy card." Kaname had a wicked gleam in her eyes.

"I'll have to remember to tell Mizuki when I see her again." Kyouko smiled. "I'll have to bring my camera when I do. It ought to be priceless."

"You're priceless, Ky! This is the first time I've laughed like this in days. Any more news?"

"I also heard from Ren. She's expecting her first child in July. It also sounds as if her husband is being promoted and moved to corporate headquarters in Tokyo. It would definitely be nice to get the old gang together again." Kyouko was already running ideas through her head, trying to think of a suitable reunion.

"You're absolutely right!" Kaname would certainly love to see her friends again. It had been too long. She was praying for a different reunion first, however. How could she enjoy seeing all those couples, if her own significant other never returned home?

After Kyouko left, and before starting dinner, Kaname spent some time thinking about old friends, reminiscing about happier times and wondering where some of them were now. When her thoughts turned to Melissa and Gordon, it felt as if her blood turned to ice water in her veins. Melissa! How had she managed to forget that Melissa was very likely caught up in the same trouble Sousuke was? That thought was strangely comforting in one way, but profounding troubling in another. She had been so wrapped up in her own problems that she had forgotten that Melissa was one of the four Mithril soldiers who could pilot an Aegis. She would need to find time tomorrow and see if she could reach Gordon.

************************************************************

Kaname had started working on the laundry as dinner cooked, wading through the mounds of laundry she had avoided and sorting things by colors and fabrics. When she was finished, there was a pile of Sousuke's things and a pile of everyone else's. Things had not ended up that way by practicality. They ended up that way by design. At first, the thought of her husband's clothes being left untended equated with Sousuke being lost in a foreign land. She had felt her heart race a moment after making that analogy. Next, she slid a bit into depression, wondering if this would be the last time she ever did his laundry. Both feelings were brushed aside by a growing sense of purpose. Kaname wanted to do something for Sousuke. She could focus more on him, not herself. His clothes may be the lowest priority by actual need, but they were the highest priority according to her heart.

She loaded Sousuke's clothes first.

Dinner went relatively smoothly. Moto and Tomoe began to get a bit combative when the subject of casts came up. Tomoe had one, so she was in a position of great power. Moto did not, so he was low man on the totem pole. When it looked as if her two little darlings were about to initiate a more kinetic expression of their sibling rivalry, Kaname brought up the subject of haiku.

"Moto, I would greatly appreciate it if you were to put that handful of vegetables back on your plate. Your backside will end up being thankful as well." Kaname smiled. Moto had a worried look in his eyes, as if realizing that the More Energetic Mother was making an encore appearence. "I understand that you were writing haiku at school today, would you like to share it with us?" Moto's eyes brightened.

"Yes, mother, that would be grand. But...." he stuck out his tongue and rolled his eyes at his sister. "I doubt Tomoe would understand it." He finished by crossing his arms over his chest with a "Hmmppff" that sounded a great deal like his mothers.

"Well, how about you tell just me then...Tomoe can listen if she likes."

Moto sifted mentally through his best work, selecting the ones that he thought his mother might enjoy. His last choice caught his sister's attention:



The first Winter morning

The mirror I stare into

Shows my father's face.


The effect on Tomoe was near electric. She stood up on her chair, teetering precariously, her cast hanging much too close to the edge for Kaname's liking. "Daddy's a haiku? I want to do one too! Mama, can I?"

"Yes, sweetheart. Go right ahead. I'm certain it will be wonderful" Kaname looked at Moto, daring him to contradict her.

Moto murmured under his breath. "It's not a problem." His mother didn't hear what he said, but she did a decent job of reading his lips. She had to fight to keep from smiling.

Tomoe had a very serious look on her face. She sat back down and looked as contemplative as a four year old can look. Finally, she stood back up again.


I love my Daddy

I hope he gets home soon

Did I do good Mama?


"That's VERY good sweetheart, almost as good as Moto's" Kaname reached over and tussled Tomoe's hair, making her squeak like a little mouse.

"Mother!!!" Moto, obviously, was not a fan of maternal charity. "It's supposed to be 5, then 7, then 5. Seventeen syllables. The form of the verse and the joining of its two parts should seem as light as a shallow river flowing over its sandy bed. There was no impression, no sensation, no drama." Kaname alsmost fell out of her chair. A six year old speaking about flowing rivers and drama? "She didn't even use a kigo!" At least he wasn't quoting military manuals. This time.

"I understand, Moto." That in actuality was a lie. "That might not have been sufficient for anyone else, but it was just perfect for Tomoe."

"Where is that written down?" Moto was rather peeved.

"I'll show you, as soon as I have time to write it down." Kaname's look caught Moto like a deer in a truck's headlights.

After the table was cleared, Kaname resumed her work on the laundry. The children had run off into the livingroom to perform the Wednesday night rituals. Moto would take his father's place. The movie he selected was "Ran." There would be plenty he could teach his sister using that film as inspiration. When they were not discussing the finer parts of honor or strategy, the two children were busy coloring Tomoe's cast. Checking on them later, their mother discovered that the medical construct was now decorated with fortresses, temples, samurai, bowmen, and cavalry---with a few kittens, butterflies, and rainbows thrown in for good measure. The central place of merit belonged to a tree.

*************************************************************

Kaname was exhausted by the time she got both children under their covers. She was quite content to let Moto tell the story that evening. The tale had started off in such a promising fashion


A young boy and his beloved sister were playing happily in the park, chasing butterfies and doing cartwheels in the summer breeze. Their mother watched with pride, as they bowed to her with respect and began to recite their lessons.


Of course, it was simply a dramatic contrast. Things degenerated rather quickly thereafter


The tail of the scaley green behemoth squashed people and buildings alike, sending brains and blood raining down on the children and small animals below. The evil controlling aliens and their mindless clone armada were waiting to turn the entire planet into one gigantic bowl of soup! Would the secret weapon, far beyond the usual capability of any normal scientist, be ready in time to stop the horrible smorgasboard?


Kaname sighed. Looking over at Tomoe, who was clapping happily, she sighed again.

The children wanted Aesop's fables next, but their mother had a different idea. She had done some thinking while she did the laundry, trying to assess all the things she had and had not done over the past few days. "Mama's going to tell you a different kind of parable tonight. I read this in a book at work." She had come across the particular lesson in a book on time management techniques. It struck a chord within her today.


Once upon a time, a businessman was speaking to a group of business students, and to teach them a very important point, he took out a one-gallon jar and put it on the table in front of them. He also took out twelve rocks as big as his fists and put them one by one into the jar, until no more would fit.

He asked the class "Is the jar full yet?"

Everyone answered "Yes!"

The business man smiled. He said "Really?" He then reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some into the jar...shook the jar...and dumped some more in. The pieces of gravel worked their way into the spaces between the big rocks.

He asked the group again "Is the jar full?"

The class had gotten wise to his approach. "Probably not!" one of them answered.

"Very good" said the businessman. He reached under the table and brought up a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand into the jar and it filled the spaces between the gravel and larger rocks.

"Is this jar full?" he asked again.

"No!" the class shouted.

Once again he said "Good." He grabbed a pitcher of water and poured it until the jar was filled to the top. When he was finished, he asked the class to tell him what he was trying to teach them about their future in business


Kaname looked at Moto and then at Tomoe. "Do you know what he was trying to teach them?"

Tomoe shook her head, lost. Moto thought a moment, then offered an interpretation. "No matter how busy you are at your business, there is always a way to get more done!"

Kaname was very impressed with her son's reasoning ability. "That is a valid interpretation, but it was not the message the businessman wanted to teach." She returned to the parable.


He said, "If you don't put the big rocks in first, you will never get them in at all."

He explained to the students that the Big Rocks were things like faith, family, friends, teaching, and learning. He told them that they needed to put those things in first. After that, they could deal with the less important and smaller things.


Tomoe, as expected, was totally uninterested. The fables were fun. THEY had animals! Moto pondered the lesson, nodding his head. He might be able to walk away with some insight from this tale. Kaname wasn't concerned whether or not they understood the message she mentioned. She had told that parable more for her own benefit. She would be certain that she had all of her big things in her jar. She would take care of the smaller things when she was able.

************************************************************

Kaname decided to treat herself to a glass of fine French wine. She and Sousuke usually saved their favorite vintage for special occasions---she was not concerned with that, as this felt like a special occasion. She missed Sousuke terribly. She was still somewhat depressed, and wrestled with moments of guilt. But, she also began to seize upon the first signs of hope. She was turning an emotional corner. She would carry on as if Sousuke WOULD be back, until she was proven wrong. And if by chance he would never return, she began to realize that she COULD carry on without him.

She made certain not to drink too much. She needed her wits about her at that moment. She had to determine whether she was experiencing true labor contractions or false labor contractions.

So far, the contractions were irregular, and they had not changed in their timing. They did not occur closer and closer together, and they did not last longer and longer. Although sometimes painful, the contractions were relatively weak, and they were not gradually building in intensity. The discomfort that she did feel was basically localized to the front of her addomen. The contractions also seemed to change there pattern based on her posture and her level of activity.

Kaname was fairly confident that she was experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, the body's way of getting the uterus ready for true labor somewhere down the road. She did not feel inclined to call her OB doctor. She did not think that it was appropriate to give Sgt. Takaoka and his wife a call yet. This pregnancy ought to follow a course very similar to the one with Tomoe. The first pregnancy is usually the one that is different than the rest.

When she finished her glass of wine, Kaname decided it was time to turn in. Before she did that, she walked over into the entry hallway. She looked at Sousuke's picture, and spoke as if she were talking to him in person. She told his picture about the way she had been feeling since he had left. She spoke about the things that she had accomplished in his absence. She mentioned all of the ups and the downs. She whispered an apology. She offered all of her love.

"Hurry home, Sousuke. I need you. Moto needs you. Tomoe needs you. Shusaku needs you."

[HELLFIRE]

Love the Gunbunny stuff... and I LOVE the MORAL: IT'S EASY TO TALK OF COURAGE WHEN YOU'RE SAFE AND SOUND ... how appropos

...Ergh, progress on my own fic ain't going so hot... and I'm STILL waiting
for that drug test!





Regards

[dd]

@HELLFIRE

Now you've gone and done it! You had to mention the GunBunny stuff. Someone's probably going to string me up and beat me with nettles now.

I'll twist the moral: IT'S EASY TO SPEAK OF GUNBUNNY STUFF WHEN YOU STILL OWE US MORE [FIC]

Back to work!

[dd]

@HELLFIRE:

There you go. No meaty scenes about Kaname's school pals, but some of them are mentioned.

That takes care of part 3/4.

[HELLFIRE]

...wonders is this the expression of the will of Samantha, departed as she is




Regards