Ruckus in Munich: Chapter 8.

[Andrei Burnside]

“Don’t never take a chance you don’t have to.”

Rule five of Robert’s Rangers ricocheted around in the recesses of Sergeant Sousuke Sagara's mind. Major Robert Rogers had established an elite group of scouts and raiders during the French and Indian war. His rangers were the inspiration for the United States Airborne Rangers, which were one of the standards on which any airborne unit was judged.

His comrades were late, exceedingly so. How could a one-day debriefing take three days? Sousuke was sure the TDD-1 was still afloat, for he had made his daily reports to Lt. Commander Kalinin. On the third day he had irritably inquired on the location of superiors. Kalinin merely explained that there had been some “mix-ups” and “holdovers." Sousuke was left to chew on those two words as his SRT CINC signed off.

Sousuke could take 48 hours with no sleep, for it was standard procedure as a mujahideen. There were times if you even nodded off, you would die. Soviet gun-ships had IR sensors; even the wiliest cave rats were eventually killed by S-8s or S-5s.

'In such an environment, letting one’s guard down among anyone would be a mistake. My allies would just as soon strip me of my ammunition and provisions as they would bandage my wounds. I was, after all, a child soldier, a disposal resource that had no real chance for survival. Why else would I have been sent on such suicide missions as disabling an RK-89 in a combat zone with only improvised satchel charges to do the job?'

The soldier in Sousuke snapped his self pity and victimization with a violent statement.

‘Sending you on those missions could have been measured in how much faith they had in your abilities. They trusted you with eliminating the most dangerous threat. Aside from that, you were a smaller target, and they were best suited to direct fire confrontations. Mobility is an AS’s most important asset and it was yours as well; being smaller meant easier access to the slopes and crags. Your age might also make a soldier hesitate long enough to get out from under his guns, depending on his experience. You cannot say that your comrades were heartless and ruthless. If wounded, you would have stripped your ammunition and provisions and tossed them to nearest man. You knew exactly what kind of commitment you made when you joined their band. The importance of the survival of the group was above the individual and they would have done the same for you if you were closest. If they could drag you back to the village, they would. Soldiers are hard to replace, weapons were not. Squandering the time spent in training you would have been a waste, and they could not afford to lose the sympathy that you generated. You also must admit you were not their best soldier. No one is indispensable, but no life is dispensable either.’

The emotional part of Sousuke fired back at his hardened psyche.

‘The only reason I even survived my first fight in the foothills was because a Russian had pity on me! My comrades left me to die after they stripped me of any useful material, including things that were mine. He could see that I was raw, and thus had nothing to fear from treating me kindly. I betrayed him by stealing provisions after the first human kindness was shown to me in six months! They had patched me up, fed me, showed me pictures of their family, and could have sent me somewhere without conflict to grow as any child should. I betrayed their trust and earned the respect of my comrades by bringing back provisions. I couldn’t bring myself to knife them while they slept--they did not deserve such a fate! I was abandoned by my comrades and the enemy treated me better than they did!’

The bastard in him always had a response for everything. Sousuke usually felt as if his emotions and his soldiering instincts were warring in his mind. Usually his instincts won out, because they had saved his life more than his emotions. His instincts were at least understood, unlike his feelings.

‘They were naïve. You were and still are naïve. No quarter you screamed when you joined, and then show the enemy mercyYou joined the mujahideen to satiate your rage, rage that came from your parents' deaths. Your emotions only end up hurting others you care for. You were prideful and arrogant; Mao was injured as a result. Then you vent at Chidori, who actually worried about your well-being! She was concerned for you, and you cut her deep. Emotions lead to complications, complications lead to crisis, crisis leads to unnecessary deaths. How else do you explain the deaths of the squadron in Afghanistan? Jackson, Andy, Bill, Batist, Grey, all died because they allowed their emotions to control them. Jackson and Andy were too prideful, and Batist made erroneous decisions because his emotions clouded his judgment. Bill and Grey were not at fault for their emotions; Bill simply became aware of the danger too late, and Grey…she cared…too much. She would have not died if you were more efficient in killing a demon from your past!’

‘I was fighting a friend--my one friend in that combat zone. The rest of the mujahideen might have been comrades, but Zaied was a friend! I compare it to my ongoing assignment at Jindai. Other students may be comrades, but Chidori is the one friend I have in that combat zone. As for my emotions hurting those I care about, how do you explain my emotions in Khanka? I managed to save Kurz and Chidori because the emotions I let loose powered the Lambda Driver! Those emotions were cultivated because I cared about her! As long as she is under my care, I cannot and will not let Chidori come to harm. Afghanistan was an example where emotions clouded my judgment, but I was operating at full combat efficiency while fighting Zaied! It was simply harder because we were friends and he was aware of my rules of engagement and tactical doctrine. Knowing him helped me anticipate him as well, for he was a skilled AS operator. Because of friendship…he managed to show me mercy, even though I had sentenced him to death.’

‘You are foolish to believe that. Zaied convulsed and missed his mark; he would have killed you because he understood war better than you. You kill the enemy, no matter who it is. Emotions must not be completely repressed, but you cannot allow them to cloud your judgment. If you become closer to Chidori than you already are, you limit your effectiveness even more! Who do you wish to be the dominant influence in your life--Chidori or Mithril? Both will leave you if you make substantial errors. The only difference being that you know what kind of errors to avoid with Mithril. Chidori cares for you more than you do yourself, as evidence by her behavior in Hong Kong. You cannot abandon that either, for it has helped you and has benefited you immensely. You can almost forget the horrors of your past when you please her, because you please yourself. Chidori is helping you to become more than just a soldier. You’ve already compromised your willingness to adhere to routine and to follow orders with the stunts you pulled in Khanka and Hong Kong. You’ve isolated yourself partly from Mithril, and you put your emotional well-being on the shoulders of a 17-year-old girl? Your relationship with her might not be advancing fast enough. On your terms, relationships are forged at the pace of trench warfare, while she follows the principles of blitzkrieg. Perhaps she will grow tired of this diversion, and then what are you left with?

I don’t know. I cannot say. I know I care for Chidori, and somehow I must reach inside and sort of out my feelings and courses of actions. But this is new territory, and certain instincts do not apply.

Only certain ones. Remember the dating simulator? Had that been a real girl, a breakdown in negotiations would have resulted in a form of war. A cold war, perhaps, where each side attempts to actively undermine the other without escalating into full conflict or a devastating series of conflicts like that of France and Germany. You do not want this situation to occur in regards to yourself and Chidori. It would reduce your effectiveness and would affect your performance and emotional health negatively.

Sousuke concluded his internal debate with a sigh. He may have calibrated some issues bothering him, but his comrades were still not here, and he was running on adrenaline and personal desire to keep Chidori safe alone. He had no energy reserves left; he had not slept for 72 hours. He was at the point of compromising Chidori’s safety because his reaction times and alertness were in the gutter. He ambled over towards the monitoring equipment and picked up his audio feed headphones. Chidori was currently in the shower and he allowed himself to relax for around 30 seconds before going through his equipment checks. Sighing loudly, he trudged out the door and walked towards the ground floor of her complex, so he could be ready at her door when she walked out.

He was alert as one could be his condition. He hoped Chidori did not have any extracurricular activities today, for his endurance and patience was severely compromised. He would not let Chidori know that, but would tell her not to take any unnecessary risks. He hoped she would acquiesce to his suggestion. When he reached her floor, he managed to stumble past other tenant’s entryways and set himself down to the right of her door. Because he was tired, he had forgotten that her door opened in that direction.

Kaname Chidori was just finishing up breakfast and took a spare moment to glance at her watch. Suppressing a curse, she did some quick calculations and her ETA to the train station, if she ran, would be just barely enough before it departed.

‘One bad thing after another today...I don’t want anything to piss me off; it’s a sad enough occasion already, and I just can’t take it. On top of that, I might be late, and that otaku’s language is getting into my thoughts! Last thing I need is to encourage that behavior; I can’t take him out to dinner or on a date with that mindset--assuming I could get him to go, and I ever got the courage to ask the maniac.’ She blushed slightly, for that had been a pleasant thought. She quickly shoved it aside and put today back at the forefront.

‘Whoa, getting ahead of myself here. He still deserves payback for the hell he put me through, worrying for him and wondering if he’d ever come back. But that worrying is a good indication that I wouldn’t mind taking him on a date. Gah! Remember what today is, Kaname--it’s not time for you to be thinking about Sousuke. You’ve got to visit your mother’s grave and pay your respects. Try not to break down and loose it. Save the grieving for after school, and above all else, try to ignore that maniac’s antics.’

Kaname grabbed her schoolbag and jammed on her sneakers. Nearly sprinting to the door, she snagged her equipment bag from its alcove and practically shouldered the door open. It burst open with a large whump. It never made that sound, unless... Kaname began to close her door, and just as she had suspected, one very haggar-looking otaku sat there, now with a shiner for his choice of sitting position. She looked at him sympathetically and then proffered a hand to help him up, squeezing his hand warmly as he clasped hers.

His expression was one of exhausted gratitude. He clasped her hand and it almost seemed like he clutched at her. Sousuke was not one for personal contact and Kaname blushed. He really was something else.

As soon as he was on his feet, the impassive expression returned to his face. Impassive to Sousuke was a scowl worn with extra vehemence. He had dark circles under his eyes.

“Sousuke, we have to hoof it. Train’s leaving soon and we’d better run if we don’t want to be late. So move it, soldier!” She held a hand up to forestall any reply from Sousuke and merely handed him her equipment bag and took off sprinting.

Sousuke took off after her, and was actually far closer than his usual distance of 6 meters. He was moving right behind her with an expression more suited to curdling milk than tailing his ward. For once, Kaname actually wanted some space to herself.

Kaname was in pretty bad mood herself, so she couldn’t resist giving him a little gibe.

“Awww...you cranky today, Sousuke? Not enough sleep or something? I still don’t get it, Sousuke. You may be cranky, but you’re looking at my backside with an expression more suited for targets than friends. Do you think I’m fat? Or ugly?” She had a mock expression of sadness on her face.

A blush briefly surfaced, but the face of complete confusion she found so cute did not. Instead, his face betrayed a scowl of annoyance and settled back into his angry mask. ‘Damn. I thought for sure I’d get something besides a blush. But I really shouldn’t mess with Sousuke today. It’d be so…inappropriate. Oh, mom…I wish you were here. You might be able to help figure out that guy. I know I care for him, but I need someone to talk to about it.’ Her eyes actually clouded as they reached the station. Thankfully, the train had yet to leave, and even with her little moment with Sousuke, they had arrived on time.

Boarding the train, the doors swishing open like hissing snakes, Sousuke was in the foothills, and his company was making good on its attack of the Russian convoy. Peppering it with mortars and machine gun fire, his leader was convinced that victory was all but attained. Then a desperate Russian scrambled out of his BTR-60. Crouching behind the burning hulks and concealed by the smoke, the soldier was unnoticed by his comrades. The mustard gas RPG round he fired blended in with the smoke. All he could remember after that flash of light and the smoke he inhaled was that it hurt to breathe. It was easier to not do so. His comrades and friends writhed in agony, and several spit up blood. Sousuke got a light dose of the gas, for he had heard the hissing of the gas release. He shook his head violently. He was daydreaming, and he wasn’t focused. ‘I must keep focused.' Kaname’s behavior was highly erratic, as were her moods. It was only a matter of time before he did something and she snapped. He would ask her when they arrived at the station. He desperately needed some rest; his nerves were frayed and he’d be liable to make a mistake.

Kaname was deep in thought. Tomorrow was the 23rd of September, Shubun No Hi, Autumn Equinox day. This entire week was when the Japanese traditionally visited graves. She’d be able to visit her mother’s grave without having school interfere with her time. She was planning to go today, and hopefully Sousuke would understand just this once and let her go alone. He could go with her tomorrow, but she wanted to be alone with her grief today.

The train arrived at the Jindai stop and both Kaname and Sousuke sprinted off the train. Kaname felt pressure on her arm, and was jerked backward. As she whirled angrily to tell off whoever had accosted her, her expression softened. It was Sousuke, and his expression was that of someone who was desperate, or at least whatever emotions slipped past that mask of his gave her that impression.

“Sousuke! I don’t mind talking to you in the least, but we’ve got to move. Another thing, Sousuke, can you lay off the guardian angel shtick for today? I’d like to be left alone, because I’m going somewhere safe, and I do not want to be followed. I’m asking you for a favor Sousuke-kun. Please, can you let up just this once?”

“Chidori, earlier you remarked that I did not receive enough sleep. That is true. I have not slept for 72 hours. The last thing I will do is ‘lay off.' I cannot, for protecting you is my duty and my privilege and I will not fail in it. You are asking something entirely unreasonable; I will not let you travel to an undisclosed location without some form of protection. As your bodyguard, I ask that you return home after school ends without engaging in any after-school activities. If you refuse, I will bring you home, through force if completely necessary. I ask this as a favor of you.” He folded his hands and composed himself.

“You insensitive jerk! I swear you’ve got no clue what’s going on. In addition, you threaten me to go home immediately or you’ll use force. You’ve got some nerve, Sagara! This is the week that we visit graves in Japan. I’m going alone to visit my mother’s…today! I was planning to take you along tomorrow, but--“ Kaname threw in a low blow, “Obviously you wouldn’t understand the death of a friend or loved one, now would you, Mr. Automaton?”

The cherry trees were silent spectators to this clash between two equally strong-willed participants.

Another axiom from Robert’s Rangers occurred to Sousuke: “Don’t forget nothing.”

“Chidori, I cannot and will not leave you. It is my duty. As long as I am able, I will never abandon you. However, I believe parents are assigned to their children for approximately 18 years; your mother failed in that duty.” His jaw was set, and his fists clenched and unclenched. As she began to speak, he speedloaded a magazine of rubber bullets.

This little commotion was beginning to draw some attention, as Sousuke and Kaname appeared completely involved in their little spat. Kaname was but the Sergeant was always divided his attention. Grabbing her sports bag, Kaname served only to incite more interest from the crowd.

“I do not understand that comment about not caring, Chidori. I cared very much for my comrades lost on the field of battle, but I care about you more. If I let my feelings for them out, it would make me incompetent. I cannot let those feelings free, because then I would become ‘beyond salvage’ and would not be able to protect you effectively. That would be a problem. I cannot let that happen. Think of your friends, Chidori. Now imagine if all but four were dead. Could you cope with that and be a good student? Now imagine that someone tells you to let them die when you could have saved them? How would you feel? So, Chidori, I cannot do as you ask. I will use deadly force if necessary if you will not allow me to protect you. If you will not be concerned for your own welfare…then be concerned for Ms. Tokiwa’s.” He leveled his Glock at Kyouko. It was held under his heavy jacket; only Kaname and Sousuke could see it. His words were a near whisper, and Kaname strained to hear his words.

Kaname went through a flurry of facial expressions. She put of all her sorrows and rage into her right arm and pulled her softball bat from her bag. Slamming it into his gut with tears streaking down her face, she declared, “I hate you, Sagara!”

Sousuke spun like a top as he fell to the ground and remained there, unmoving and silent, sprawled out across the concrete. Kaname noticed he had taken the blow as if he had no energy left.

Sousuke’s face was one of resigned despair and hurt. She had broken the mask, but at what cost to their relationship? Right now she didn’t care… Spinning on her heel, she selfishly left her protector laying there. As she entered the classroom, she noticed he wasn’t right behind her, and he wasn’t present either when the late bell rang. Her anger was now tempered with some worry, because Kyouko hadn’t showed up either…

‘Could he have acted on his threat to Kyouko? He might, knowing Sousuke. If he did…I’ll kill the bastard.’

“Kagurazaka-sensei! Please excuse our lateness, for we found a fellow student unconscious on the ground near the train station. We felt it best to drag him to your class, as he regained consciousness on the way here.” Shinji and Kyouko had burst into the room, dragging Sousuke along with them.

Their teacher was normally irritated at Sousuke’s misadventures, but today she was quite sympathetic.

“What exactly happened, Sousuke?”

'Tell the truth about what you see and what you do...you can lie all you please when you tell other folks about the Rangers, but don’t never lie to a ranger or an officer.’ Another one of Robert’s rules flashed in his mind. Sousuke was originally going to give a full description of the incident, but it would have caused unnecessary repercussions now that he paused. As serious as lying to a superior was, Kagurazaka-sensei was not an officer or a member of Mithril.

‘Oh no, here it goes, and there goes my reputation. Sousuke has already made me pissed today, and now he’ll make me look bad.’

“I was accosted by some rather forceful Yakuza who demanded I pay protection money. They had not ever a presence here before, so I refused, and was overwhelmed by weight of numbers. I apologize for the disruption, Sensei.”

‘I can’t believe it. If he wanted to hurt me, he would have revealed what actually happened. It would have served his purposes wonderfully.’ Kaname thought back to what Sousuke had declared to her after the behemoth incident.

“Chidori, I will and must protect you from any and all foreseeable harm, regardless of cost to myself, my body, or my organization. It is my duty and I will not fail. Your safety is a benefit to Mithril, and it is a benefit to me.” She interpreted that statement as his own declaration that he cared for her outside official capacity.

‘He could have easily told the truth, but he was protecting me from the repercussions of my actions and how that would affect everyone’s perception of me. That jerk! I’m not a child! He usually tells the truth, too; why didn’t he? Kagurazaka-sensei is technically his superior…’ Once again, he had saved her, regardless at cost to himself.

Kurz and Melissa opened the door to the apartment that Mithril had acquired for the express purpose of watching "Angel." Kurz managed to steal a glance at his chronometer: 1500 hours.

Melissa gave some thought that they placed their squad-mate in.

‘Damn...knowing Sousuke, he hasn’t slept since we left. Normally, he’d catch a few winks here and there…enough to keep him going, but with his devotion to Kaname’s safety, he’s probably about to collapse. He probably kept a vigil on that girl even while she slept. Considering his terrorist roots, he’d consider it the best for kidnapping, so when he should have been resting, he was watching her!’ Melissa needed to take over for Sousuke as soon as possible before he bit it.

Melissa checked through all the rooms and inspected their sizable pocket armory. Given the closets in this apartment were abundant, each SRT member had secured one for the purpose of weapons storage. She also checked her linen closet, for Kurz could be fast and sneaky about getting away with undergarments.

‘Good thing he goes after Tessa’s more than mine. She’s less likely to beat him to a pulp for his sophomoric behavior. Funny thing is, he acts his age in regards to women, more than I can say of some guys.’

Kurz was hardly concerned with Melissa’s underwear at the moment. He needed to contact Sousuke now. He was well aware of the younger soldier's plight. Jamming the headset onto his head, he spoke rapidly into the mike.

“Urz 7, This is Urz 6. Status on 'Angel'? Your status? Need a reliever, Urz 7?”

The voice that answered back was not that of the determined professional. It sounded tired and depressed. He had heard Sousuke in such a tone once or twice. After he had slugged him on the TDD-1, and when he been taken off the duty of guarding Kaname.

“Urz 6, roger, status on 'Angel' is yellow, my status yellow. I could use a replacement, Urz 6, Why are you taking the mike? That’s Sergeant Major Mao’s position.” Sousuke was puzzled and relieved. His comrades were back, which meant one of them could shadow Chidori to the grave.

Kurz frowned…Status yellow usually indicated fatigue, light injury or some sort of non-threatening problem that needed to be dealt with.

“’Angel’ and I quarreled about an issue of her protection. I was slammed in the gut with an aluminum tube. ‘Angel’ appears to going through emotional turmoil and is willfully disregarding her own safety. Requesting immediate support as soon as she departs from school. I need to rest.’

Kurz grimaced; Mao had him by the hair and was attempting to drag him away from the comm, but he kicked her in the shins to indicate there was traffic. Sousuke was using codenames instead of Kaname's actual name. That meant he was really depressed. He gestured at her to let him go for around half a minute. Melissa had been rather patient with him since their “talk” they had on the TDD-1 three weeks ago. She was particularly cranky because what had originally been a one-day debriefing had morphed into a three-day conference and performance evaluation and briefing on new terrorist organizations.

“Roger that, Urz 7. Will comply as soon as I can get to where the action is. Approximate ETA is 10 minutes. Hold 'Angel' in any way possible before I get there--wouldn’t want the lovely Kaname going without protection, now would we? You’re such an inconsiderate boyfriend, Sousuke--ooph! Urz 6 signing...off.” Melissa had jabbed him in the ribs for that one. He managed to get his breath back and glared at Melissa.

“Why’d you go and do that, Sis?” His face was one of indignant confusion, and Melissa was just standing there, draped over the chair, smirking. He hated when she smirked, because it usually meant she was going to pull rank.

“Because I’m his CO and yours as well; only I can tease the kid. Besides, he’s so damn innocent that anything sexual tends to go over his head. Plus you kicked me in the shins. You’re lucky I didn’t BREAK a rib or two.” Kurz snorted at that remark.

“Innocent my ass, Sousuke’s killed more people in cold blood as a kid than I’ve ever nailed as a sniper. He’s had blood on his hands since before he could grow a beard. Not that he enjoys it, but he isn’t innocent by any stretch of the word, Sis.” Kurz was growing tired of the Oracle preaching to him.

“I said innocent in sexual matters, and from what you’ve told me, you’ve never done the deed either. You sure act like it, though.” Melissa glanced at her chronometer: 1507.

“Kurz?”

“What’s up, Sis?”

“You’re late to switch with Urz 7. You were supposed to be there 5 minutes ago. Better get going.”

The panicked look on Kurz’s face was enough to make Melissa burst out laughing as soon as the lanky blond exited the apartment.

‘Specialists do not panic, even if support does not arrive on time. I must delay everyone long enough to allow Urz 6 to arrive. But how? I am behind Kaname and somehow must draw the attention of students at the head of the group. I must do this in a non-confrontational manner as well...a diversion of some sort.’ His mind went through a quick inventory of things he’d read or seen that might prove useful. 30 seconds into his cataloguing, the idea hit him.

Kurz was always one for enriching Sousuke’s cultural experience. He had once forced Sousuke to view a satirical film on the American west. Kurz said only to keep history in mind and consider it to be inaccurate. With this advice in mind, Sousuke found it quite humorous. He never laughed in the showing of this sheer inanity of the movie, but did smile.

Drawing his Glock and ducking into a side area of the station, Sousuke acted out of desperation.

Putting the pistol to his head and sticking out so it and his head were visible, he began his operation. He hid his body behind the wall, and hoped the stupidity of crowds would save him.

“The next man makes a move, the Jap gets it.” He was speaking a much deeper voice.

The student body abruptly stopped in its tracks and turned to the source of the declaration. Fear and confusion were present on their faces as they looked to see the school maniac with a gun held to his head.

Kaname kept walking. She was angry and in a hurry.

Hayashimizu Atsunobu spoke up, his voice carrying over the din of the station. "Hold it, fellow students, this fiend appears not to be bluffing."

Kaname was blocked by a wall of students. She began to get angry, until she looked in the direction they were facing…

Sousuke made his voice low again. "Stay here and drop your rail-passes, or I swear I'll blow this Jap's head all over this station."

Then to give the appearance of fear, he made his voice quaver and rolled his eyes back into his head with fright. "Oh, lawdy lawd, he's desperate! Do what he say! Do what he say!" Specialists could never be too convincing.

A female voice spoke up. "Isn't anybody gonna help that poor student?"

Kaname was speechless. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She might have been furious at him, but she’d never wish this upon Sousuke.

Shinji voice broke the silence, "Hush, Kyouko. That's a sure way to get him killed. Terrorists are very dangerous when they take hostages. I hope the authorities get here soon."

Sousuke spotted Kurz’s face. He was looking at the spectacle with an amused expression on his face, and he seemed to be holding his breath. Checking quickly for any gas clouds, Sousuke could not figure why Kurz seemed to be choking.

He waved an OK sign to the “hostage” sergeant and merely grinned.

Sousuke began to slowly fade from view. As it looked like he was fighting to stay there, he was simply moving his head in and out of view.

“Help me, help me..." Sousuke was now exiting the alley…it wasn’t a dead end for a specialist. He could simply climb the building and rappel down from the other side.

He lowered his voice again. "Shut up." He was now making his way up the building while the student body was petrified in place, mouths agape with horror.

"Oh, Sergeant, you are so proficient, and they are so green." Although not necessary, Sousuke thought it merely appropriate that he finish his impression of…What was it again?

‘Incendiary Lumbar Support? No. White Phosphorus Equines? No. Napalm Cattle Rustlers? No. Blazing Saddles? Yes. Blazing Saddles.’

Kurz spotted Kaname through the crowd and began his long surveillance shift. She looked worried—‘Sousuke’s stunt must have worked pretty damn well, then.' It was mainly time for contemplation, and from what Kurz had gathered from Sousuke’s manner and tone, Kaname seemed to be the one at fault for this one.

For now, he was content to think idly as he shadowed Kaname. She had taken a train that wasn’t headed towards her home, and he was on guard. It could merely be a change in routine, but usually that was when kidnappings occurred.

‘Where the hell is she going? Jindai Cemetery? Or maybe to a love hotel?’ Kurz grinned at that last thought. Kaname was the last, no 2nd to last person he’d ever expect to see at a love motel. Keeping his distance in the next car, he mused about the person that had been on his mind lately…'too often for my tastes.' Face in his hands, he consigned himself to fantasizing about what might be. ‘It’s not like she’d ever return the favor and think about me. When was the last time anyone thought that way about me? Two years ago?’ He snorted. For being such a ladies' man, Kurz had no luck.

The train rumbled as it passed over a bridge and Kurz glanced up at his charge. Kaname was lacking her usual spunk and seemed down. Sousuke was referring to Kaname by her codename, and Kaname seemed to be listless and depressed. ‘Not a good thing for either. They’ve been through too much hell together to let it go to waste. Besides, even though he might not admit it, Sousuke likes playing the white knight for a certain someone. Guess what I told him about Kaname hasn’t sunken in yet. I wasn’t kidding when I say you don’t take it out of your significant other. I never did with Lorelei.’

Kurz brought his head up. Kaname was still there, and appearance wise, she looked like a 1930s American alcoholic who just heard about prohibition.

His rather uneventful surveillance of Kaname allowed him to think and to deduce what had happened. Kaname was visiting her mother’s grave and Sousuke had not mentioned this, merely repeating that they had an argument and that he was ‘attacked.' Considering the physical violence that Kaname had inflicted on him in the past, this must have been pretty severe. He’d have to get the full details when she got back to her apartment.

‘No sense in pissing her off here and now; I wouldn’t get anywhere.’

Following Kaname back to her apartment had been easier than he thought. Normally, she might be checking behind her to see if Sousuke was tagging behind, but today…

‘She’s only thinking about herself. It’s like the world ceases to exist around her. Withdrawing into her shell of anger and loneliness, she’ll be one tough broad to crack. It’s gonna be like sticking my hand in a briar patch--ripped on the way in, and ripped on the way out. We can’t have 'Angel' going rogue, and we can’t afford for Sousuke to be depressed.’

The door opened and slammed shut just as abruptly; the sound of a deadbolt being thrown was clearly audible even from 3 meters away.

‘And now, I wait. Can’t have this seem like it was rehearsed or pre-planned. I need to let her cool down and figure out how I’m gonna to approach this.’ Kurz looked at his watch.

’30 minutes; I’ll wait 30 minutes. Then I’m going to find out what the hell happened.’

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Sergeant Sagara! Report your status and condition.”

His body became rigid as he snapped to attention. “Status Yellow! I have not slept for 72 hours due to my duty to protect Chidori, ma’am!”

Melissa looked at him with odd combination of puzzlement and affection.

“Get some sleep, Sergeant. I don’t want to see you on the floor or awake before 1000 hours tomorrow. Otherwise I will take you and your self-sacrificing ass and string you up on a flagpole!” Melissa’s jaw was set, and she had a steely look in her eyes. Sousuke managed a smart turn of his heel as he spun towards his room.

‘Goddamnit, when is he going to let up? He’s got to put his own safety on his list of priorities somewhere! From what I’ve gathered and Kurz has told me, Kaname would never forgive herself or him if he was stupid enough to get run over because he wasn’t paying attention.’

Melissa swung the chair around backwards and reluctantly sat down. Audio and video bugs were picking up some movement and showed that somebody was home. Donning her headphones and glancing at the cam screens, Melissa saw that Kaname had arrived home. Checking the feed from the door cam, Melissa deduced her arrival at around 30 minutes ago.

‘Where the hell is Kurz? He shouldn’t be doing shadowing anymore. He’s in the clear.’

“Urz 6, Report. This is Urz 2.”

A series of short and long clicks came over her headset. ‘Busy? With what? He must need radio silence, then.’

She clicked back, tapping her mike three times and then hitting it a fourth time two seconds after that sequence. ‘Problem?’

A single click: ‘No.'

Shrugging, Melissa got back to her monitors. Kurz may have been lackadaisical at certain times, but she had confidence in his professionalism. He must be doing something related to Kaname; otherwise, he would have responded verbally.

‘Time to burn some of my Weber charm and find out what the hell is going on between our two lovebirds. Okay, in order to make this look good, I gotta fire off a round or two after I pick the lock, then ram the door in, breaking the deadbolt chain. This way she’ll, y’know...actually let me in.’

Kurz set down his camera. As his civilian cover, he was a foreign photo-journalist. It helped that the camera could take pictures, but it was really nothing more than 4 round .50 caliber rifle.

‘Has a tripod and everything. I wish I could use this in the field. It’d be a nice luxury to have.’

Reaching around behind his neck, he un-strapped his infiltration kit that was resting on the small of his back. He mused idly while he picked the lock. It was really simple for Kurz, as he had become well-experienced in such matters when he was hanging with the street gangs in Kobe.

‘People can wonder how soldiers can carry that much gear. It’s called equipment webbing, and for the truly desperate--body cavities. Oh, speaking of those, there are some cavities I’d love to search.’ He grinned at his crude wit and drew his SIG P226.

Firing several shots off into the air, he tucked his pistol to rest on the outside of his right leg and threw himself into the door. True to form, the deadbolt chain snapped and he crashed through the door.

He was unprepared for what happened. A blur of blue and silver whirled in his direction. Kurz managed to identify the target and squeezed off a round, adjusting for trajectory and sudden movement. ‘PING!’

The bat flew out the surprised teenager’s hands and into the dish closet. Kurz put the safety on his SIG and sighed. Assuming a panicked pose and expression, he initiated step one of his plan.

“Miss Kaname! I’m so glad you’re alright! There was armed burglar here and I managed to subdue him!” Estimating her time and speed, Kurz deduced that she had noticed her locks being picked. “He was picking your locks, but I surprised him and we exchanged gunfire. He’s near the bottom of the street now, and running away as we speak. I had to break down the door because the Japanese police are very strict once they catch you with weapons. I can’t be arrested for doing my job, now can I?” He added a smug grin to get his point across. He watched her expression, and it was good he had improvised, for she didn’t look like she had bought it in the beginning.

“Are you alright, Kurz?” She appeared to be somewhat concerned.

“It’s not me you should bother to be concerned about, Miss Kaname. You’ve been without a guard for—“ He glanced at his watch “4 hours! Do you know what danger you subjected yourself to? And after Sousuke was mugged at gunpoint you were without at guard!”

He shook his head, letting his hair fly and wagged his finger for effect.

‘What did you say to him, you heartless bitch? What’d you rip the poor guy up for now? Caring?' Kurz had similar thoughts about Sousuke on the TDD-1 after his buddy had made Kaname cry.

“Before I sent gloomy military insomniac off to dreamland, Mao debriefed him. She said an argument had occurred between you two. Sousuke would only say it was over an issue of your protection and that he was ‘attacked.' Care to enlighten me as to what happened? On both counts, if Sousuke got hurt, odds are he took something meant for you.”

Kurz crossed his arms and let himself fall into a chair. This way, if Kaname went berserk, he could flip it over to use for protection.
Kaname’s expression changed: her pupils narrowed, her nose flared, her brow furrowed, and the sides of her mouth were upturned, exposing her canines. It reminded Kurz of a tiger--a tiger that needed to dig its claws into something....

“That idiot! He wasn’t going to let me visit my mother’s grave! Tomorrow is Shubun no Hi, and I wanted to go by myself before I took him with me!” Her expression momentarily softened and a slight blush crept out. “I was planning to take him so we could have time alone and so we could talk. I just wanted to be alone while I visited my mother's grave, and just asked him to do that for me. He’s too concerned about my protection that he ignores my emotional-well being!” Kurz saw the double meaning in that statement.

‘Sousuke, Sousuke. He’s got one possessive gal out here. She’s already got her meat hooks into him, and it doesn’t look like she’s letting go. But then again, why would he want her, too? It’s love from her perspective, and as soon as he figures it out…it’ll be mutual.’

“And?” Kurz wanted to milk this before passing judgment.

“That asshole insinuated that my mother had left me, as if it was her fault she got cancer! Then, because I wouldn’t bow to his demands, he was going to shoot Kyouko! The damn fool said something along the lines of ‘I believe parents are assigned to their children for 18 years’ and ‘if you don’t care about yourself, care about Ms. Tokiwa’! He’s got nerve!” Kaname looked like a volcano on the verge of exploding.

‘Sousuke doesn’t play nasty unless someone else starts it. It’s his little honor code. She must have said something to set him off.’ He scratched his chin and assumed the pose of "The Thinker." ‘No reaction. Might as well fire off a broadside and see how this uppity frigate responds.’

“Kaname, we both know Sousuke never would say that, unless you said something equally bad. He’s not the kind of guy to swing low, and that’s one of the reasons you like him, right?” ‘Score one for Kurz.’

She looked somewhat sheepish, but was determined to tell the truth lest he suspect her. “I told him he was a mindless automaton, and because he couldn’t understand the pain one felt when a friend or loved one died, I shouldn’t have bothered taking him.”

Kurz winced. ‘Whether you know it now or not--‘cause I’m gonna let you know--you cut Sousuke pretty bad. It doesn’t matter who you are--nobody has the right to toy with Sousuke’s emotions, not even the person of his affections. He doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment, even if his efforts were nothing short of oafish. I may be a lecher, but I don’t let anyone mess with my friends and get away with it.’

Spreading his hands and slamming them together in front of the surprised girl’s face. “Kaname, never in my entire life have I heard something that was so hurtful, nasty, and downright despicable. You ignore the facts about Sousuke; you ignore his feelings for you; you pass judgment on his actions when you have nothing to base it upon; you wound him. No wonder he said he was attacked in his debriefing--you attacked him. I’ve seen Sousuke physically hurt, but never emotionally wounded. You struck at his psyche--you, of all people, should know he can’t take such attacks. If you ever wanted him to come out of his shell, emotionally, you’re going to have to wait. Something like that to Sousuke could set him back a few years. You know what I managed to get out of him on a mission once? He was zoning out and wasn’t paying attention. I asked him what he had been thinking about in his spare time and when he could afford an idle thought during missions. You wanna know what he said, Kaname?” Her name was laced with venom. “He said, ‘Chidori.' Don’t give me this bullshit about him not giving a damn about you. He cares more about you than you do yourself. Why else do you think he threatened you?! He was f--ing desperate! Mao and I haven’t been here for 3 days! He'd been up for 72 hours without any sleep.” Kurz was pissed, and he took no notice that Kaname looked overcome with guilt.

“So, Kaname--” Each syllable was pronounced with derision, and his voice was dripping with contempt. “Did you do anything else to Sousuke? I want to know if I need titanium buckles for his straightjacket or just plain 'ole steel.”
“I told him I hated him and I slapped him.” Her voice was nothing more than a whisper.

“You...cold...bitch. I was beginning to think Sousuke had a chance to reach outside of his career of warfare and experience love. I was wrong--he’s already sacrificed his respectability in Mithril, and now you’ve sacrificed whatever chances you two have at a relationship. I hope to hell you’re happy.” He was not only furious, but seething at the way his friend had been treated.

“You don’t understand--if Sousuke was a normal guy, then--“

“Then you wouldn’t like him--don’t give me bullshit.”

“Do you have any idea what kind of toll dealing with him and his whole thing about not showing emotions takes on me? It’s like caring for a void! I worry about him and his safety and his welfare, but I get nothing back. I get nothing back. It’s so hard…”

“Kaname, you get plenty back from Sousuke. You’ve just never looked for it. As for relationship difficulties your problems pale in comparison to mine. When I moved back to Germany, I lived in Weisbaden. I met a girl there. Her name was Lorelei. I loved her with everything I had. I wanted to marry her and have a future--but we went skiing, and she broke her back…I paid for the surgery and the radical new procedure, and I’m still paying for it. She can walk now and has regained full motor coordination. But--she left me. Apparently someone paying the bills for this was ‘too much’ and this doctor was ‘there for her.' She dumped me and had intimate relations with this doctor and got pregnant, and then had an abortion. Kaname, I may talk like some playboy, but I was waiting till I got married. Then the bitch comes crawling back to me after 6 months of heartbreak and rejection and tells me that she broke up with the doctor, and that she wants me to ‘come home to her.' Home? Home? I have no home in Germany!”

“I begin to care for this other woman, partly because I’m seeking to fill some sort of void within me and partly because she’s a wonderful person. It’s even worse. I’m ignored, ridiculed, and feelings are tossed out by the wayside and mocked. I still press on, and she might like me--she does little things, and then shoves me away. It hurts even more because I don’t know if she’s toying with me or if she actually cares. I gave it one last shot and asked her to come to Munich with me on leave--one last shot, before I leave her alone. She’s everything a guy could want, and more. I don’t think about just sex with her; I think about love. Perhaps I’m foolish, but at least Sousuke acknowledges your feelings and tries to return them!” His face was red with indignation, hurt, and rage.

Kaname looked like was ready to collapse, figuratively and emotionally. “I…I don’t know, Kurz. I just don’t know. I think I love him. I know I care for him.” Kaname did not even bother to hide her confession.

“It might help if you told him. You sure have a funny way of showing love, Miss Kaname.” He walked towards the door and began to turn the handle.

“I gotta go to him--see him. I can’t let him think this.” She began to follow Kurz.

“If you even walk within five meters of his apartment without his permission, I will shoot you. Regulations be damned, I’m not having Sousuke be manipulated a by dirge of tears and then pretend what you did never happened.” His look could have even given Kalinin pause.

Sousuke emerged from the ventilation shaft just behind the door, hanging upside down as he regarded Kurz with his typical expression. His torso only visible from the shaft, his face and position seemed to contradict each other. The stern expression and arms crossed contrasted sharply with the childish look of hanging upside down, hair dusty and askew. This simulacum drove the german to hysterics.

Letting his legs free, and executing a somersault worthy of an skilled gymnast he rolled to his feet. He shook his head free of dust, and mitigated the boyish gesture by holstering his Glock 17. Striding over to Kaname he stood, arms behind, legs rigid, at attention.

“This will not be a problem, Kurz. I will allow Chidori to do whatever she likes. She cares for me, and I have heard this. I do not understand love yet. But I do understand her importance to me. You may leave when you wish. I have matters to attend to that concern Miss Chidori and myself.” Sousuke looked stronger and at peace, ‘as if he had heard the entire conversation. Sousuke, you sly fox, you! You listened from the splice I made for my own purposes and then snuck out while Sis was listening. Oh, shit! Sis heard every word I said!’

Kurz turned white, and he sprinted out the door. Skidding to a stop, he held the door open, and took out his camera. All the physical pain in the world would be worth capturing this moment. If it I didn’t happen now…It’d never happen.

“Sousuke-kun?”

‘Words are unnecessary, Chidori. Kurz has stood up for me and has made the reasons clear for my actions. He also elucidated that you care for me. I am thankful for that, Kaname. I am glad to see someone cares about me for reasons of what they can do for me, and not what I can do for them. That is more than enough for one such as I.” A smile seamed to light a beacon of tranquility and happiness on the Sergeant’s face.

Both appeared to be happy, but Kaname had to communicate that she cared very much for her sergeant. ‘My Sergeant. Has a nice ring to it.’

She drew him into a hug--a very deep hug that even that lunkhead would understand. She squeezed him tightly and pressed her body against his, and laid her head on his shoulder. Sousuke was puzzled, but his arms moved around her waist, and he felt very…peaceful with her arms around his torso. He felt as though he was completely alone with Chidori, and his situational awareness was focused on this wonderful sensation permeating his body. In terms of feeling at ease, no experience was greater; even comparing it his frolicking in the river with his fellow mujahideen and Zaied was completely inadequate. Sousuke not only allowed this, but squeezed back as he found his hands were going AWOL: stroking her back and just reveling in touching her. Sousuke was warmer than the onsen (at night, at least) they had all gone to. She’d have to try this more often, Kaname thought, instead of hitting him…Kurz was taking pictures.

“Sousuke?” She had touched her fingers to her lips and then pressed them against his cheek. Kurz took a picture.

“Yes, Chidori?”

“You baka. I think we’re on better terms than that. Call me Kaname already—“ She began to cough and wheeze.

“What is wrong, Kaname? Are you injured?” Sousuke’s face was one of total panic. She had wrapped his arms around his neck, taking advantage of the opportunity.

“I’ll be fine, but do you know CPR, Sousuke?” A serpentine grin had replaced the quivering lip.

“Kaname, wait, I do not th--“ She jerked his head down to meet hers. Kurz took one final picture.

Snickering with glee, he sprinted off towards his apartment, his mind on the incoming storm.

He arrived at the apartment that was his dwelling in Tokyo. Cautiously opening the door, he peered about. Melissa was shorter than he was…she could be hiding anywhere. If he saw her…he’d have to glomp her. It’d buy him enough time to set off a smoke grenade…Tossing his camera into the foyer closet that was ajar, he crept towards the kitchen.

Moving towards the kitchen, he saw she was facing the fridge. She was…two paces away from the living room. ‘Time to strike’ Her back was towards him. ‘This is it.’ He coiled his body and jumped. Flying through the air with the grace of a beached whale, he hit his target. Or so he thought.

Melissa arched her back just slightly and hip-checked him to the side. Instead of being safe on Melissa’s back, Kurz was in a headlock. He was able to see Melissa’s face, and surprisingly, it was friendly and playful.

“How much did you hear of my rant in Kaname’s apartment?” Kurz asked weakly.

“Enough.” She just beamed at him. ‘What could she be thinking? What is she gonna doooo?’

“Er...Sis…about those things I said--about the girl after Lorelei…I didn’t mean them, honest. I was just trying to build my case.” He was panicked now. She looked hurt for a moment, and then the mask of predatory amusement was donned.

“Who is this girl, Kurz? I don’t remember what you said.” She seemed to be somewhat apprehensive.

“I was talking about you. I said you were beautiful; I said you’re everything a guy could want, and that you were a wonderful person.”

“That wasn’t all of what you said, now was it?” She seemed truly happy now.

“I thought you weren’t—“

“Finish!”

“I said that I thought I had fallen in love with you and my grand little jaunt into Munich was my one last shot at seeing if you liked me. Can I call my father before I die?” His despair was almost comical.

“I’ve never been one for withholding information. An eye for an eye, as it were. To tell you the truth, I’ve always thought you pretty handsome. You’re relatively easy on the eyes. Oh, and...” She put her finger to his lips.

“I like you too, stupid.” She looked like she had lifted a massive burden from herself. Kurz’s muscles were sore from surveillance and were about to give out. The banana peel from lunch made itself known. As Kurz backed up slightly, his heel spun on the slippery rind.

"Sis, I--” He fell.

Melissa ended up on top of Kurz, her arms still wrapped around his neck. His hands had somehow ended up below her shoulders and were clasped around her back. In their stumble (and Kurz’s subsequent scramble) they had managed to land on the living room floor, legs a tangled jumbled, sprawled out like college drunks.

“You what?” Her expression was curious.

“I’m glad you like me…real glad.” He was grinning from ear to ear.

“Shut up already.” Her eyes were moist, and she looked truly happy for once.

She pulled his face towards hers; his neck was practically bent 90 degrees. She smiled, licked her lips, and kissed him. It was like holy water, purifying all of the pent up frustrations that had existed within him. His lips melded with hers, a fusion that reminded him of the adrenaline rush one got from launching off the AS catapult. She ran her hands through his hair, and his hands stroked her back. He held the kiss until his vision was filled with red starbursts from lack of oxygen.

As soon as they both had recovered, he said, “Well, I wasn’t expecting that…”

“Just shows how much you know, Kurz. I’ll be more than happy to teach you.” She kissed him again.

His neck hurt until they arrived at the airport three days later.

[Andrei Burnside]

...A full day has passed. No reviews of any kind. No acknowledgement, no posts. Nobody has said it sucked, and nobody has said ANYTHING. This kind of silence unnerves me. I really don't like it. I'd assume the views are inflated because of my constant checking. Was this all in vain...I might work on chapter 9, get some responses from that...hopefully.

[terran empire]

some times no news is good news

[Andrei Burnside]

Revised. Continuity and Flow issues fixed. Read and Review...Or I'll find a Marxist water dragon to MAKE you read

[terran empire]

selling comunest revolutions are we?

[Kelek]

...ROFL--the last scene.

Since you've been complaining about having no reviews... (Joke.)

Just some unecessary-comments-that-include-mostly-opinion-that-
have-nothing-to-do-whatsoever-with-criticizing-or-suggesting-and-
stuff-you-may-not-have-heard-already:

(Keep in mind this is all my opinion.)

I like all the humorous lines you've put in there. There's too many
to weed out and count. Some might consider it a bad thing that it's
spread out everywhere if they like uninterrupted drama, but I liked
it. It served as comic relief...

The thing I don't like is that most of the chapter consists of scenes
involving mainly Sousuke and Chidori. OK, yes, plot device, I
realize, but...it was not very fun to read.

I don't know enough or haven't thought enough about Kurz's
character to judge accurately, but I thought it strange he would tell
Chidori so specifically about what happened with his girlfriend and
who he currently liked, etc. Or perhaps that's just me again thinking
that it was strange. I really wouldn't know.

Hopefully Sousuke got some sleep at Chidori's place...

And the kiss...guh...fusion...I will never think of that word in
the same way again...hilarious. The imagery in that scene is vivid,
so...but for me (only, most likely), the image of that.../me snickers
uncontrollably. Just ignore me regarding anything having to do with
romance.

That's off the top of my head for now. Overall, it was better than
the other chapters you have so far. Really nice.

EDIT: Oh, and--

.../begins to sing blues

That was funny, actually. Drat. Shouldn't have commented, then.

[woman22980]

...A full day has passed. No reviews of any kind. No acknowledgement, no posts. Nobody has said it sucked, and nobody has said ANYTHING. This kind of silence unnerves me. I really don't like it. I'd assume the views are inflated because of my constant checking. Was this all in vain...I might work on chapter 9, get some responses from that...hopefully.

Mwahahahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! *LS1 descends upon story like, well, a shark...*

Ok! You asked for it!!! A couple of people have commented so far, and I'll be adding mine soon too. Right now I'm reading ch 3 on ff.net and really enjoying it. That's suprising for me because I didn't think I'd enjoy a Kurtz/Mao fic, which is why I hadn't read yours, but it's really good, and really funny so far. (I love the part where Kurtz is trying to think of approaching Mao like Sousuke would - Objectives, Obstacles, Time Frame, Allies, Terrain, Mindset, Risks. *ROFL!!*)

As a general musing, I think that Kaname/Sousuke might be a more popular pairing not just because they're the main characters, but because Sousuke has the Spock-aura. Spock was hot with the women because women would dream about being the one to thaw his chilly exterior -you're a special woman if Spock shows emotion for you - that kind of thing. Sousuke's the same. Kurtz is more difficult because he's more approachable, being a (seriously hot) flirt already.

So... yeah.... *back to reading*

The lemon shark part of me is wondering - where's the sex already! -j/k

/EDIT - ok! just finished reading all the chapters in a marathon session of burning my eyes out in front of the monitor..... The only thought I can articulate at the moment (because I'm tired near collapse) is - YAY MUSH!!! ah ha! and you were saying you didn't like mush, but chapter 8 is really really GREAT mush! aaah.... I'll have actual maybe constructive criticism when I become conscious again....

[woman22980]

Yay!! the board is working again and I can type up my comments!

Ok, for the ones I caught, typo report -

and then show the enemy mercyYou joined the mujahideen to satiate your rage

Geesh, only one?

Comments on the chapter - OMG I LOVE the scene where Sousuke's impersonating Blazing Saddles! It really isn't that in character for Sousuke I think, but it's so funny! It makes me want to break out my DVD of Blazing Saddles and watch while I draw.... And my favorite quote - "You may be cranky, but you’re looking at my backside with an expression more suited for targets than friends."

Hmmm..... I understand that Sousuke was severely stressed, but it still doesn't seem quite like him to threaten Kyouko at gunpoint. However that's just my opinion, not a suggestion for change. I do like the scene, they really drive the knives into each other deep huh?! It makes their making up later sweeter.

Speaking of which, I don't feel like it's exactly clear where or when Sousuke shows up at Kaname's apartment in this scene

“*Sousuke talking snipped*” Sousuke looked stronger and at peace, ‘as if he had heard the entire conversation. Sousuke, you sly fox, you! You listened from the splice I made for my own purposes and then snuck out while Sis was listening. Oh, shit! Sis heard every word I said!’

So... is he speaking to Kurz over his earpiece and standing outside the door? Is Sousuke walking in the doorway saying these things so both Kaname and Kurz can hear? I don't know, to me, Sousuke just seemed to suddenly be in the scene, with no entry mentioned before or after he starts speaking.

I love how Kurz and Mao interact after he goes back to their apartment and Mao's heard all of his little rant, it's just really perfect. It seems really in character and it's so cute!!

Another couple of questions - First, what's an onsen? Second, waaaay back in like chapter 1 or 2 Kurz says something foul to Mao in German, what did his words mean?

Hmmm... final thoughts on the story in general.... For the first (I think) 6 chapters or so it really feels like a Kurz and Mao story, then chapter 7, which I'll comment on shortly, then chapter 8 it starts to feel like a Sousuke/Kaname AND a Kurz/Mao story. I certainly don't object to having more S/K, especially the way you have it happen in ch 8, but it seems like a disconnect somehow. For 6 chapters we basically only hear Kurz's thoughts, and some of Mao's, so getting another perspective thrown in in the middle is kind of jarring.

And speaking of jarring... Ok, Chapter 7 - To be perfectly honest I did not like it at all, I only skimmed through the information there and I don't feel like I missed anything. Bad guys are going to attack Munich, something about genetic experiments. The entire chapter focuses on characters that I don't know and really don't care about except how they interact with the main characters A/7/6/2. Only in the chapter there is not interaction. So, I realize that it's plot development and setting up for future events and all, but I just didn't like it, it feels out of place and too long.

So..... that's this girl's opinion. I hope some of this helps? I'll definitely be reading the next chapter!

(and don't feel bad if there aren't as many comments in you thread, dd's right that most of the comments in his are just playing around between the lemon sharks.... but see you've objected to playing around, so we can't play in your threads! ah well.)

[Kelek]

Ok, for the ones I caught, typo report -

and then show the enemy mercyYou joined the mujahideen to satiate your rage

Geesh, only one?

I was skimming over the most recent chapters and found a few more,
I think. Bad me...bad...

@ Andrei: I just checked the edited document, and I did catch that part;
you just didn't correct it:

‘They were naïve. You were and still are naïve. No quarter you screamed, and then show the enemy mercy? [Huh?] You joined the mujahideen to satiate your rage, rage that came from your parents' deaths.

Also, I have a question: Why did she call him stupid?

[dd]

@ Woman 22980

Fragen Sie den Kapitän was dann Sie domineering Weibchen geschah!”

Essentially... 'Ask the Captain why she's a bitch, then.' (...how she happens to be a bitch...)

'Fragen Sie die Kapitan warum (or wie) Sie ein tyarranisch Weibchen sei' might be another way to say it. My German is rusty.

what's an onsen?

hot springs

@A.B.

I like the overall parts to the story. Personally, I would have done things differently, but that's a matter of preference and I understand why you took the course you did.

A number of things I would have preferrred: I would have liked to see a little bit of the Chapter 7 stuff at a time, interspersed with the rest of the story. Ditto the S&K stuff, which at this stage of the story seems like a diversion or a plot set-up (ie a way to have Melissa overhear things). The amount of detail is good for a diversion or set up for other major things to come in my opinion. But, it's a lot if it's only a plot ploy.

The Kyouko bit seemed a bit harsh, especially since he was exposed to her in a number of social settings.

What the brainstem does to hamper the development of progenitor attachments is that it does not send enough blood or nutrients towards the attachment points in the interests of keeping the body static

Is this a refence to the vasomotor center in the brainstem. If so, I would have used a different word than 'send.' 'Directs' would have been conceptually better, but that's a minor bit of nitpicking.

Ditto for questions regarding the progenitor cells. Are they foreign, or derived from a given persons body. If the former, why does the body not mount an immune response, rejection, or host versus graft type of action? I may have missed that.

In any case, keep up the good work. Interested in seeing who plays what roles in the story.

[woman22980]

No quarter you screamed, and then show the enemy mercy? [Huh?]

Yeah, I thought about that one too... I guess it would be more gramatically correct to put a 'you' in there - "and then you show..." But it kinda works the way it is right? it's just weird. It's been so long since I reviewed grammar rules though...

[Kelek]

Yeah. I don't understand it either.

No quarter you screamed when you joined, and then show the enemy mercy

This is all I can think of:
1. "No quarter screamed when you joined, and then you showed
the enemy mercy?"
2. "You screamed when you joined the quarter, and then you
showed the enemy mercy?"
3. "You screamed when you joined the quarter, but then showed
the enemy mercy?"
4. "The enemy screamed when you joined because you showed
them no mercy." (Just kidding.)
5. Some other thing.

Either way, none of the options seem to fit correctly in the paragraph:

‘They were naïve. You were and still are naïve. [Insert sentence here.] You joined the mujahideen to satiate your rage, rage that came from your parents' deaths. Your emotions only end up hurting others you care for.

/Me is being picky again.

[Andrei Burnside]

Sousuke joins the Mujahideen to satiate his rage. His intial battlecry of no quarter fell flat when that russian squad took pity on them. He showed mercy . It could have been reworked, but I decided to keep it for the whole "stream of consciousness effect"

Tis what I meant to say. Grammatically awkward.

As for 7. Setup chapter. Want you people to know EXACTLY the "science" and who you're dealing with. A sociopath. Most people didn't like that chapter. No moosh or interaction. I assure you I'll need one or two more of those chapters (with some cutaways in perspective now, lasting around 1000 words). That's actually the one I had the MOST fun writing. I don't really do grit completely well, but it REALLY fills in any plot holes I could have created. Plus it was gritty.

As for Sousuke showing up when he's not supposed to...Sousuke pratically appears out of nowhere...because he did. Sousuke's stealth and speed is known for Ep 19. Sousuke listened to the convo through the spliced cable and came over. Consider him the guy hanging out inside of the chandelier if you will.

Are they foreign, or derived from a given persons body. If the former, why does the body not mount an immune response, rejection, or host versus graft type of action

Let me reread that part of the chapter and then I'll be able to answer the question.../me is watching olympic soccer/basketball (keeps flipping channels).

It is most definitely a setup. For what I haven't figured out yet . As my editor can attest...things are VERY fluid when I write.

The Kyouko bit was harsh for a reason. A reason I will elucidate on (when the time comes) and sorta did (in the chapter).

Melissa called him stupid just cause she can . And because he didn't read her thoughts, thus is stupid.

For OOC. ANYTHING is character when Sousuke is tired, and a specialist uses every weapon available to him. Including Mel Brooks. Thought It'd be funny, and was glad to see it was.

Glad people enjoyed the chapter and am humbled at the attention. For the record...I don't like to screw around...at times. Depends on everything and lookithat. Iraq just scored about 2 minutes ago.

[woman22980]

As for Sousuke showing up when he's not supposed to...Sousuke pratically appears out of nowhere...because he did. Sousuke's stealth and speed is known for Ep 19. Sousuke listened to the convo through the spliced cable and came over. Consider him the guy hanging out inside of the chandelier if you will.

But that's not really what I meant. The tv industry has a name for it, they call characters entering and leaving scenes "shoe leather", and in that scene, there's no mention of Sousuke entering the scene. He may appear out of nowhere, but he does eventually appear to Kurz and Kaname at some point because he wasn't there the whole time. Something like "Sousuke looked stronger and at peace walking in the door toward Kaname, ‘as if he had heard the entire conversation." It's as if the tv show cuts back and forth between two people talking, then suddenly cuts to a third person as if they were always there when they weren't.

As for 7. Setup chapter. Want you people to know EXACTLY the "science" and who you're dealing with.

(This isn't really a criticism, more of a thinking out loud) That's cool, and I know some people enjoy that. I will say though that you're writing fan fiction, and I think most people read ff to get more of the characters they love. When such long stretches of the story are about characters fans have little reason to care about, it's easy to drift away to something else.

[Andrei Burnside]

Nitpick willya!

Hm. Since I can't edit it into the story right now. Here's the interlude.

Stickit when Kurz says he'll shoot Kaname.

Sousuke emerged from the ventilation shaft just behind the door, hanging upside down as he regarded Kurz with his typical expression. His torso only visible from the shaft, his face and position seemed to contradict each other. The stern expression and arms crossed contrasted sharply with the childish look of hanging upside down, hair dusty and askew. This simulacum drove the german to hysterics.

Letting his legs free, and executing a somersault worthy of an skilled gymnast he rolled to his feet. He shook his head free of dust, and mitigated the boyish gesture by holstering his Glock 17. Striding over to Kaname he stood, arms behind, legs rigid, at attention.