[FIC] Dinner and Dessert Part 3 of 4 (edited version)

blackrose · Post by **blackrose** » Tue Jun 03, 2003 4:25 pm

Dinner and Dessert
By the Black Rose

A Full Metal Panic! Fanfiction

AN: This is an edited version in order to comply with the rules and regs of this board. You can find the full version on my website only (since FFN doesn't allow lemons anymore either). This version DOES contain lime and references to sex and adult situations, but I don't think anything graphic enough to offend. If in doubt, I'd rather you didn't read it and not be offended. Thank you. Love, Rose

http://blissfulignorance.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=2488

Chapter 3 – Dessert: Lemon cake with lemon frosting and lemonade to drink

Sousuke leaned over and gently deposited Kaname on top of her bed. She propped herself up on her elbows while he crossed the room to shut the door. When he finally turned, he had already begun unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. Kaname watched his fingers work, and she gasped at the unusual spark that gleamed in his eyes. She had never seen Sousuke look at her that way. He turned his attention back the shirt, pulled it off, then removed the t-shirt underneath.

Kaname continued to watch him, her eyes drawn to the hairless definition of his chest. She felt her body grow warm. Sousuke moved closer and sat down on the edge of the mattress. She swallowed and looked away, expecting him to crawl up next to her and start them on the path towards…towards…

Making love. Her heart sped up and she glanced at him again. The Mithril Sergeant was bent over, in the process of removing his shoes. He completed the task and rose from the bed, carrying his boots over to rest beneath the chair holding his two previously discarded shirts. Still turned to where she could only see his back, his hands came up to the waist of his pants, and Kaname felt the temperature in the room increase tenfold.

He's…he's just going to take them off?

As if in answer to her silent question, Sousuke's back muscles rippled and his slacks eased down the length of his thighs. Kaname's eyes widened at the sight, then she quickly glanced away. The faint clink of his belt hitting the wooden bars on the back of the chair sounded through the room; her eyes snuck back to peek….

Her head grew light and fuzzy, and her face burned as she watched, ogled perhaps, Sousuke removing the last of his clothing: plain, white briefs. She gripped the edge of the quilt and tried to find a coherent thought swirling in her mind, but the only one that surfaced was… “Sousuke.”

Completely naked, he turned back to face her. Kaname stared down at the comforter on her bed, but stole glances at him in her peripheral vision. His ramrod straight posture wasn't the only thing at attention, and the blue-haired girl found it hard to breathe….

He moved. Towards her. Sousuke peeled back the edge of the comforter and climbed into the bed. She could feel his eyes on her, but she couldn't look at him. All she could see was the image of his nude, well-built form.

"Kaname?"

She swallowed, but didn't trust herself to speak.

"Did…did I do something wrong?"

Kaname shook her head and slowly turned to him, but the thought of his body, how only the thin comforter hid his… hid him… from her eyes, weighed her gaze down to— Her cheeks burned and she glanced back to him again.

"Kaname?"

"I…You…I wasn't expecting…y-you to be so naked."

The edges of his mouth curved downwards. "I don't understand. I thought this is what you wanted?"

"What I wanted?"

"Not you…me." He stared at the far end of the bed. "Both of us. But you're still…."

"I've never done this before."

"Sex?"

She buried her face into her hands. Sex. She didn't want to call it sex. Sex was meaningless. Sex could be between two people who didn't care about one another. She wanted…

He pulled her to him, his arms wrapping tenderly around her shoulders. His skin burned against her own. "Are you sure this is what you want?" His voice was gentle, softer than his usual monotone. She relaxed into his embrace, burying her face into his chest.

"If…if I've done something wrong…."

"No. You just surprised me." She managed a smile against the warmth of his body. "I still want this, Sousuke. If-if you do?"

Gray-blue eyes met her gaze. "Yes." He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers - at first, in just a feather light kiss. She closed her eyes and felt her arms wind around his neck; she pulled herself tight against his body, and felt his hands grip her waist. His kiss was still a little on the sloppy side, but enjoyable, and he seemed to be a very quick study. She slid her tongue into his mouth and smiled at the shivers that coursed through her body. But Sousuke didn’t seem to be moving.

Kaname pulled back and stared at the man in her bed. He was still in the exact same position as before – sitting up impossibly straight, his hands locked on her waist. She sighed and sat back. Gathering her hair up off her neck, she turned around and asked: "Unzip me?"

Heat emanated from his hand and through the fabric of her dress. An involuntary spasm coursed down her spine at his soft touch. She turned back to smile at him.

His eyes were dark, unreadable this time. And something like uncertainty bubbled up from within.

"I've never done this before."

"Sex?"

"Sousuke?"

"Yes."

Her arms came up to hold the loosened material of her dress in place. "H-have you been with…um, done this before?" She realized how stupid that question was once it left her lips. He didn't even know how to kiss!

He squared his shoulders, as if he were being questioned by one of his superiors. "No. But I have seen pictures and film."

I didn't want to know… "Let me guess. Kurz."

"Yes. And Melissa."

"Melissa?"

He nodded. "Yes. I spent many hours studying positions and techniques. There are several I think would be interesting, but the most common one for a first experience is the missionary position."

"Sousuke!"

"Yes?"

She growled at him. "This is so not romantic! A girl's first time is supposed to be sweet and emotional. It's supposed to be about love, not…not some experiment out of a sexual positions textbook!"

His eyes dropped to the comforter.

"Why did I even think--" She stopped when she noticed his white-knuckle grip on the sheet. His jaw was clenched and his shoulder muscles bulged up from his neck. Kaname softened her tone and tried to make out the expression on his face. "Sousuke?"

"I'm sorry. I just…I can't seem to do anything right. Why do you want to be with me? Why would you care about a guy who just--" He stopped and moved to the edge of the bed. He threw the covers aside and put both feet on the floor. Kaname drew a shaky breath at the thought he was leaving.

He sighed and brought a hand up to his face. "It's like the lambda drive. I feel like there's some rules, some knowledge I should know deep inside, like instinct, but for some reason, I don't. It's so easy for you, for the others at your school, even for Kurz and Melissa. Everyone but me. Why do I always screw this up?"

"Sousuke…." She scooted next to him, and put her hand on his back. He remained still and stone-like. "It's not easy for any of us. We're just more used to dealing with uncertainty on a day to day basis. We're better at hiding our inadequacies, whereas you…you're more open about your struggle and confusion. You don't hide who you are and what you're feeling. There's something really admirable…and frustrating about that."

He turned to look at her and she smiled. She smoothed the hair from his face and felt her heart warm when he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. Such a simple act, but it took her breath away.

"I'm sorry for getting upset," she said. "I really do love--" He cut her off with a searing kiss. His arms caught her around the waist again, and he pushed her back, allowing the lower half of his body to return to the bed. She closed her eyes and let him lead. She could be patient. This was supposed to be for him, a commitment to him. A promise to wait – and a taste of what he had waiting for him; a reason, a place, to call home.

He pushed her back into the mattress, his palms came to rest on either side of her, holding him up. He slid one knee in between her thighs and continued to kiss her as he hovered above her body.

"Sousuke…" Her fingers wrapped around his shoulders, trying to pull him closer. He resisted, then finally lowered himself onto her and reminded her she was still clothed. She slid her arms around and pushed lightly on his chest.

"Hmmmmm…" Blue eyes peered back at her as he took the hint and rose to a kneeling position. She stood up from the bed, facing him, and drew her arm back to undo the buttons at her neck. The dress slid down, over her hips, and to the floor.

Sousuke stared; his eyes traveled the length of Kaname's bra-and-panty-clad form. Her face burned and she looked away while she climbed back into the bed.

His hand came up and turned her chin to face him. He lowered his lips to hers and drew her into a kiss.

****************************************************

His heart pounded in his ears. The skin of her stomach brushed against his. The room was growing unbearably warm, and his hands traveled up the long line of her back to rest on either side of her rib cage. A dull ache had formed in the pit of his stomach that was beginning to spread and intensify. Kaname groaned against his lips. Sousuke felt he was taking impossibly long; he didn't want to rush her, but she still had far too many clothes on for what they were supposedly trying to accomplish.

He broke the kiss and mouthed down the side of her neck. Her head lolled to the other side, granting him greater access to the sensitive flesh; he slid his left hand around to rest just below the cup of her bra.

"How…how does this come off?" He whispered.

"In the back. Hook and eye fasteners."

Sousuke frowned and reached around her back to find the clasp. He struggled a bit, then finally brought his other hand to assist. After a concerted effort to move both ends in opposite directions, he got the tricky garment unhooked. He shook his head and frowned.

"Highly inefficient."

She giggled. "Well--" Her voice trailed off as he pulled away and gently peeled it off the front of her body. A light blush colored her features once the bra had been completely removed and discarded over the side of the bed. Her arms came up to fold over her chest, but he wanted to see….

He clasped her wrists and pulled them down and away. Her head bowed further, obstructing his view of her face. But why was she hiding from him? Was she embarrassed?

"It's okay. I have seen—" He stopped. Wait. Kaname didn't seem to like it when another woman had his attention – for any reason. "Never mind." She turned her head to look at him, and he leaned close to kiss her neck, careful not to touch her newly exposed chest.

"Sousuke?"

"Kaname…." His hands found her waist again and his mouth trailed down to her shoulder. His hands itched to touch her, but he knew from past experience, Kaname's chest was off-limits without permission.

"Don't…don't you want to touch me?" He pulled back, his eyes drawn once more to her chest. And this time, he felt blood rise to his cheeks. She took his left hand and guided it up to her breast. His heart sped up to a gallop.

It was the softest thing he'd ever touched. The skin was smooth until he moved his palm across the nipple and felt it pucker. He blinked and the ache in the lower half of his body focused into something sharp.

Sousuke closed his eyes against the feeling, and when he opened them, she met his gaze. Her eyes were dark, but somehow managed to dance in the waning light of the sun. She leaned close and nibbled a kiss onto his mouth. His arm went around her shoulders as hers wound around his neck. She was pulling him down on top of her again.

And he had no desire to stop.

****************************************************

He stared up at the ceiling, the girl curled up against his side, her head resting on his chest. His body was tired, but his mind still buzzed – unwilling to sleep.

He felt her stir next to him, and tightened his arm to keep her close. There was no description to accurately quantify or define how it felt to be inside her, to have her hold him, to see her tears when he first entered her. The whole experience was a blur of vivid colors and excruciating emotion. It exhausted him through and through, and yet he wished he could go back and separate each instance, each emotion – to analyze and classify each one so he could understand them.

Her right leg settled in between his calves, and she huddled closer. He felt something twitch and realized, emotional confusion or not, his body already wanted her again. Sousuke sighed. It was completely unfair. He couldn't remember a time when he felt as comfortable…. He was never again going to be able to sleep on a hard floor under his bunk without remembering, missing, this night.

Such was his lot in life.

He checked his watch. There were still a few hours until he had to leave in order to be flown back to the rendezvous point with Danaan. He wasn't sure if he should wake her, or just go.

He wasn't sure about a lot of things.

The Mithril Sergeant had at last figured out how he felt about Kaname. But that didn't make their relationship an easy thing. He was going back to battle, as a mercenary for justice, a soldier…. She was going back to high school.

The brief time he had spent trying to live in her world had left him feeling isolated. His comrades understood him, these…kids did not. He had tried to fit in, tried to grasp their carefree lifestyles where the biggest problem in their sheltered universe was passing a test, or asking the girl they liked on a date.

But the time Kaname had spent in his….

A smile tugged at his lips. She had helped him, challenged him, saved him, and even, on occasion, needed him to protect her. She was…different. He knew that. But he still had no clue what happened after this.
Would she allow him to come back when he was on leave - to share her bed? Would she want something else besides the occasional phone call or fairly regular email? How long would she wait for a soldier who was always gone, and could die on any number of dangerous missions?

One who couldn't guarantee he'd ever come back.

It wasn't like he could just check out because he had a…girlfriend? Lover? Once he had joined Mithril, he knew he was in it for life. There was the possibility that he could retire in about ten years from active service. Assuming he lived that long.

The whole thing was confusing. And he didn't want to upset her with his questions. He figured there was some amount of information in this whole jumble of emotion and confusion that he was missing.

As usual.

Kaname sighed in her sleep, mumbling what sounded like his name a sweet, dreamy voice. He planted a kiss into her fragrant hair and shut his eyes to try to sleep. But the Mithril sergeant found himself constantly wondering at the time. He didn't want to go….

He didn't want to let her go….

At least.

At least not yet.

***************************************

AN: Yeah, yeah, I just couldn't let it go without having a plot. *sigh* Enter the angst. But, no worries, like Kaname says, it should have a happy ending!

Kaname: That's right!
Sousuke: I thought it did.
Kurz: For you it did. *elbows Sousuke* Way to go!
Melissa: *punches Kurz*
Kaname: *whacks Kurz with paper fan*
Kurz: *__* What'd I do?
Kaname and Melissa: PERVERT!

Thanks so much for reading, guys! Love, Rose

Saeki Ena · Post by **Saeki Ena** » Tue Jun 03, 2003 5:37 pm

Thank you, thank you, black rose! You're an amazing writer!!!

I've just printed out the unedited version.

It was more than worth the wait. REALLY LOVED IT!!!

pacing · Post by **pacing** » Tue Jun 03, 2003 6:37 pm

...*sigh* okay, have mixed feelings about the whole affair,
but will keep it positive here cause i'm not convinced that
my issues with it are rooted in the piece itself.

my favorite part: he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch
...it somehow reminds me of this:

laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

(yeah, guilty as charged - big, sappy ee cummings fan right here)

Post by **Taurec** » Tue Jun 03, 2003 7:36 pm

nope .... sorry ... absolutely no feelings ... at all ......
*takes a cold shower*

Hey it's over 82 here ... thats a disaster for a dutchie like me ....

subarashi !!!

HELLFIRE · Post by **HELLFIRE** » Tue Jun 03, 2003 11:14 pm

..then again, there was something about this that was like watching
a guy on his wedding night thru the window..

// gets bashed down and chased out by security

Regards, 'specially to rose

pacing · Post by **pacing** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 1:00 am

HELLFIRE wrote: ...then again, there was something about this that was like watching
a guy on his wedding night thru the window...

<-- *squirms in agreement*

HELLFIRE · Post by **HELLFIRE** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 1:59 am

The military they call porno vids 'training videos.'
how appropriate

@blackrose
sooo, where do you think pt 4 will take Sagara to now,
he's already been to Wonderland

Will anyone kiss-and-tell
the next morning, will Kurtz & Mao be able to pull anything
out of the elusive Seargent...

blackrose · Post by **blackrose** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:05 am

Saeki Ena wrote:Thank you, thank you, black rose! You're an amazing writer!!!

I've just printed out the unedited version.

It was more than worth the wait. REALLY LOVED IT!!!

Thank you! I'm really really glad you liked it. It was not an easy thing from start to finish, but I had some fun and I'm so glad that there are some who could enjoy it. ^___^

pacing wrote:...*sigh* okay, have mixed feelings about the whole affair, but will keep it positive here cause i'm not convinced that
my issues with it are rooted in the piece itself.

*shrugs* Um, thanks? Thanks for reading anyway. ^___^

Taurec wrote:nope .... sorry ... absolutely no feelings ... at all ......

*sniffs* You didn't like it?

Taurec wrote:subarashi !!!

Wait, that was a compliment, if I recall correctly. SUUUUURE the cold shower is for the temp outside.

Hellfire wrote:..then again, there was something about this that was like watching a guy on his wedding night thru the window..

Lemons aren't everyone's cup of tea. Especially if you're 1) not used to reading them, or 2) haven't read many of them. Mine are fairly mild compared to what's out there. And if you're unfamiliar, just trust me on that. I promise I have no reason to lie to you.

Thanks for reading, Hellfire! *glomps* How's the tweaking going? Need a test audience?

Love,
Rose

blackrose · Post by **blackrose** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:11 am

pacing wrote: <-- *squirms in agreement*

??? Again. Lemons aren't everyone's cup of tea. That's why there were warnings at the top and only the edited version was posted here.

My apologies if my fic made you feel uncomfortable.

Hellfire wrote:sooo, where do you think pt 4 will take Sagara to now,
he's already been to Wonderland Will anyone kiss-and-tell
the next morning, will Kurtz & Mao be able to pull anything
out of the elusive Seargent...

*BIG EVIL GRIN*

Ooooooh, you're starting to get into my head are you?

Chapter 4 is rife with my tendency to laziness...where I do all dialogue in my first draft. *ducks rotten fruit lobbed by beta reader* I did really well with chs 1-3 not being all dialogue, but 4, well... I think you can guess who's speaking, but if not, I'll mark it down at the bottom...

"Yeah. You look a little down yourself, Sousuke. I take it things are still okay between you two?"

"Okay? Okay? With a body like that, she should be better than okay, right Sousuke?"

"Hm?"

"He's not down, mom, he's tired, and his ears are probably ringing with cries of 'Oh Sousuke, oh Sousuke, oh oh oh!'"

(dialogue spoken by, in order: Melissa, Kurz, Sousuke, Kurz)

Thanks, Hellfire!

Love,
Rose

StromCrow3000 · Post by **StromCrow3000** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:26 am

I don't know why, but I'm scared to read it. I used to be able to read lemons like there's no tomorrow. Maybe it's just me being familiar with the charas.......

blackrose · Post by **blackrose** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:30 am

StromCrow3000 wrote:I don't know why, but I'm scared to read it. I used to be able to read lemons like there's no tomorrow. Maybe it's just me being familiar with the charas.......

Okay, well, certainly. Please don't feel like you have to read it, especially if it might make you uncomfortable.

But the version I posted here is sans lemon. It has lime, yes, but nothing worse than the words: nipples and arousal. If these will bother you, again, steer clear.

I still maintain that I write very mild lemons. I can show you (in general) lemons that would make your toes curl. Or retch. Take your pick.

O.o

Love,
Rose

HELLFIRE · Post by **HELLFIRE** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:41 am

@blackrose

StromCrow wrote:Maybe it's just me being familiar with the charas.......

No worries, went in with my eyes wide open, it's just that you got
the atmosphere, reactions, etc. so good that well... I think StromCrow
nailed it right there.

..I never had any doubt you'd treat S & C's special time with anything
less than total respect blackrose

// waits for a sneakpeek preview of pt 4

pacing · Post by **pacing** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 11:16 am

...well... part 3 is a play-by-play, true-to-life account of a thoroughly
uncomfortable situation. That is to say, I think you again nailed the
characterizations dead on; they were uncomfortable, and we could
feel it too. Which is to say, you're really quite good at what you do...

It's just that I sorta wish they hadn't gone through with it. I wonder
if they would have been better off stopping short, i.e. if it would have
been nicer and a more justifiable amount of ...investment... in their
hrm, serious nonrelationship. (Then there's the onset of that mildly
guilty feeling, like we hadn't the right to be peeking in that window.)

Good writing is about making people feel something in response, no?
You definitely succeeded in planting wire taps and hidden cameras
in Kaname's room. It's left me feeling torn, but you should probably
take it as a compliment.

I can almost feel Sousuke's angst washing over him already.
Last time that happened, he made Kaname cry and Kurtz had
to punch him back to his senses. *frets*

Post by **Taurec** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:07 pm

blackrose wrote:I still maintain that I write very mild lemons. I can show you (in general) lemons that would make your toes curl. Or retch. Take your pick.

i go for retch !!!! ... give your best shot ....

blackrose · Post by **blackrose** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:19 pm

Taurec wrote: i go for retch !!!! ... give your best shot ....

Oh no, I haven't written them. But there was one that someone recently entered into a contest I'm running where Kyo (Fruits Basket) inserts his *giggles* "womanmaker" into Tohru's "woman's pride". *guffaws*.

That one's laughable. There are others that use...*shudders* words I find very distateful. O.o

The P word and C word for female parts are not my thang. There are also dripping things that just...shouldn't drip. Yech. I'll stop there.

Love,
Rose