[FIC] The Worst FM*P! Fanfiction Ever 01

Kelek · Post by **Kelek** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 8:23 pm

Realize that this is intentionally horrible.

=

Teh Wirst Full Metal Panic Fnafiction Evar!!1

Rating: PG-13
Part 01

LOL it wuz cu+e all these weaponz n stuffs! (omg weaponz r so so cute dont u think?) and they hd 2 deel w/ the germans and the frecnh anf other citiez 2 an the poice but then OMG they found otu the ppls wre disppearing and tehn riots were started evrywhere, OMG no the poor ppl! so newayz kurz and melissa ar ethere and the bad guys ctch Kurz OMGno! and it's theb 3\/iL mutant |<illAh ninja gaulun! E\/iL mutant ninja KillAh gauron used hsi Super mega gundam samruai flashing sword and caugt kurtz n cut him it was really nastuy eeeeww! the blood was eeryvwhere . But then melissa siad, No, I relized I lUVED you Kurz and she shot hr gun and two bullets rpiped into her exlover gaulun's chest (they had an affiar in china b4 hehehe) but of course he was so powerful he didnt die obviously. tehn Melsisa kicked him like a REAL WOMAN andn broke his legs HAHAH ROFL HAHAHA "stuPID Villain" she yElled, but GaULun says: MuHahahaha I am a REAL M4|\|, you cannot hurt me u waek woamn ha|-|aHA to You! "OMG dammit seys" mao, 'Teh E\/iL! t3H evOL!" n she ran to kurz whois still dying and he was almost dEd. he almost, died when melissa sed "I LUV U kurz dont levae me plz! " seh srtated crying. menawhile Gaulun wuz hurt bad and suddenly there were helicopters and they took him awat to his super secret proetcted magical unerdgronud hellhloe kingdom where he ploted to kill them all!!!11

suddenyl Kruz had a hart attack from Mleissas declaartion and he revieved because of her words: he sed "This is amlost as shokking as PiTching comunnism 2 small bizness owners!" melissa wakked him across the back of the head, U calling me stupid?!?!1 HUH? HUH!!!1 "OW no i would never call u stuopid! i luv u 2 !!" hesaid. 'oh that is so sweeet kurz u r so sweet!' melisas ssyas, "thank u, i noe.' he says "omg u r so cute letz make out" and thenn they r getting nauttie ommg hehehe! Rofl! ^-^ ~_^ and they married lappily eberr after OL LOL ROFL AND shr said OMG u R so cut ekurz I luV you ad he said u R 2! U r so much 2" an they had the weddign onthe submrine tuatha de danaan and ther was a huge party every1 wuz invited and Kalinin was drinkin a daquiri and mardukas sang to the music becuse they invited britneu spears and nsink. Tessa sed OMG U r singing to the msuic msrdukas! and he sed of course this is my favriote! tessa said "No Rammstein and heavy metla is muxh better u fool!!11" and they had a fight but otherthan that everything wuz kewl. sousuke started crying at the wedding he was so sad, he luved chidori but wsa 2 shy to tell her.

=

That's all I have so far. Hopefully I haven't made your IQ drop too much. Comments are appreciated. I have a lack of imagination and haven't gotten far...

Andrei Burnside · Post by **Andrei Burnside** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 8:33 pm

OMG ROFL LOL! Its liek awwsome! Being serious...that was funny. The awful english just makes it better. Continue! That part about the pitching communism to small business owners was especially hilarious. BTW...don't let that permeate your speech...it's readable and quite funny. I consider this a good example of fan fiction satire. Because it pokes fun at fanfiction itself.

Kelek · Post by **Kelek** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 8:39 pm

Andrei Burnside wrote:That part about the pitching communism to small business owners was especially hilarious. BTW...don't let that permeate your speech...it's readable and quite funny.

Thanks for that idea.

That and the heart attack thing.

Eidolon · Post by **Eidolon** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 8:40 pm

lmaorooflesomgomg wtfbbqr0xx0r lol!!!!!!!1111one!1!!!1!1

That was awesome.

dd · Post by dd » Sun Jul 18, 2004 8:45 pm

Dudette. That was like the coolest most amazing really best stuff I like read in the last minute today before I kinda decided that I should prostrate or possibly castrate myself before it and maybe tell you that it's really really good and how I should try and be patient waiting for the next part which I hope shows al sorts of romance and explosions and Tessa and Kurz and Kaname and Godzilla and space aliens and intrigue and cool stuff that reminds me of canon but also is kinda original without bveing boring or reflective or such.

Wait. Sorry. I didn't really mean to review it. I just don't have the time to do that, at least not with doing it justice, and hopefully not pissing you off or making you mad or angry or stuff like that.

***That ought to cover about everything I've seen folks comment about here lately...

***

Sgt. Sagara Sousuke · Post by **Sgt. Sagara Sousuke** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 2:51 am

ROTFL

That kinda reminds me of Austin Powers...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 5:21 am

lol. good job being bad!

HELLFIRE · Post by **HELLFIRE** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:34 pm

BWHAHAHAHAHA!! I don't know whether to blow my top at it being
written in leet speak or die LMAO!!

Breaks just about every
fanfic rule out there -- bad spelling, OOC, bad grammar, NO grammar,
leet speak, quantity over quality....

FUNNY AS HELL!! I AM IN SO MUCH A BETTER MOOD FOR HAVING READ IT!!

'scuse me while I go and find an activity to recover my lost IQ

Regards

Kelek · Post by **Kelek** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:00 pm

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the fic.

I'm working on the next part...

This is probably the lamest fanart you will ever see.

The reason why it's in this thread is because it has something to do with my fic, and because I didn't want to start a new topic for something that's not exactly fanart.

I was bored and thought of making strange sig pics to scare people, but this was too large an image for a sig pic. Plus, it has something to do with my fic so I put it here instead.

Just fyi, I am not completely insane. Comments are appreciated.

Andrei Burnside · Post by **Andrei Burnside** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:06 pm

ROFL! I guess that means Kurz will have to search elsewhere [wink]. We're Badass...is just a nice slogan for those two. Another slogan for those might be Pyschos in Love...Or explosions brought us together! That's great Kelek

Andrei Burnside · Post by **Andrei Burnside** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 3:36 am

Kurz has found an even more abusive (in regards to abuse because of ethical violations. Mao is no dominmatrix and actually is quite nice to Kurz) and less reasonable woman out there! And...she kicks fast. Explaining the double boot marks. Poor Kurz never gets a break. Follow the numbers.

HELLFIRE · Post by **HELLFIRE** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 7:39 am

@Kelek
THAT pic is going to give me nightmares for the next week

// skins kelek and dunks her in a vat of salt

Chalk that up as the wierdest couple in animedom

Regards

Kelek · Post by **Kelek** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 8:03 am

HELLFIRE wrote:@Kelek
THAT pic is going to give me nightmares for the next week

// skins kelek and dunks her in a vat of salt

Chalk that up as the wierdest couple in animedom

And that's the only weird 'ship in the first chapter, HELLFIRE...I was laughing for approximately 30 min straight while drawing it (It took an hour or so). I did say it was to scare people with. Btw, salt hurts.

@ Andrei: Hilarious. Love the quote.

Thanks to all for the freakish ideas you've planted in my brain.

HELLFIRE · Post by **HELLFIRE** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 8:06 am

// signs Kelek up for a round with a psychatrist

I look forward to seeing what other freakish ideas and pictures
are locked away in there...

Regards

terran empire · Post by **terran empire** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 6:52 pm

THE EVIL THE EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FullMetal*Panic!

[FIC] The Worst FM*P! Fanfiction Ever 01

[FIC] The Worst FM*P! Fanfiction Ever 01

Golden!

Since Kurz is heartbroken...Mao left him.