Full Metal Panic Anime Marriage Prospects

[Charles Phipps]

http://www.fortunecity.com/skyscraper/b ... 0/amp.html

Heya, I thought of a very fun game that I thought the people on this board would enjoy. Basically, the above is a unlikely to
be updated page that nevertheless had a great premise...rating the
marriage qualifications of various anime characters.

Given the Full Metal Panic characters were never covered, why not do
our own here on list!

Sagara
Chidori
Kurtz
Miss Mao
Tessa
The Lt. Commander even!

(Oh yes and the HIGH SCHOOL people…can you tell which part of the series I like best?)

And anyone else you might want to do (if I hear my girlfriend talks
about Gauron anymore I'll be ill)

I'll start off with my Tessa profile....feel free to disagree and
post your own!

Teletha Testarossa

Looks: One area that Tessa doesn't have any problem in. A platinum
blonde Italian American who manages to fill out a military uniform
very well along with sacrificing none of the `cute' factor, Tessa
has a winning smile and has in many fan's eyes…quite the edge on
Chidori. It's only likely she'll get more beautiful as she gets
older.

Smarts: If you are troubled by a partner more intelligent then you,
you will be now escorted off by Mithril security. As a Whispered
she has access to incredible amounts of scientific data and designed
the world's most advanced submarine. Furthermore, unlike Kaname,
Chidori actually seems to be a genius naturally too. A master
military tactician along with college level graduate…Mensa is left
behind by this girl.

Its unlikely she'd denigrate the less intelligent though.

Personality: Tessa is seemingly cheerful and sweet even in the most
awkward situations. While she has a `Cold War' with Kaname going on
for Sagara, she never lets it affect her friendly behavior to her.
She does seem a tad naïve though as the many compromising situations
that pop up do seem to indicate….either that or she's a terrible
tease.

Cooking: Aside from K.P. duty it is unlikely that Teletha has much
in the way of cooking skills. She might be able to build a robot
cook but more likely she'll just go out or expect you to handle it
(or the Tuatha De Daanan's chef of course)

Fighting Skills: Tessa unfortunately lacks Sagara's ruthless battle
skills and while a trained soldier, doesn't seem to be a terribly
good shot as the final episodes of the first season indicate. She's
much more efficient at planning battle and strategy than hand to
hand or pistols. She is certainly the most brilliant thing behind a
submarine in the waves today though.

Special Abilities: As a "Whispered" Tessa has access to the
boundless knowledge of her racial memory. The abilities of this are
unknown but it provides her with a telepathic link to Kaname along
with unlimited creation capacities of "Black Technology."

Resonance may have some odd concerns down the line…(see Sex)

Competition: Sagara Sosuke. Tessa is like many an anime girl, a
gaga over the brooding loner war machine. Unlike many such
relationships though, Sosuke isn't psychopathic and Tessa isn't in
denial about his nature. This has the upside that he probably won't
try to kill you but the downside that he's a genuinely nice guy
under the killing machine aspects.

Tessa's fascination with him doesn't seem unreciprocated entirely
but it doesn't appear especially deep either. Tessa is determined
not to use to Kaname but would probably accept such graciously if it
was confirmed. In which case she might seek another for comfort.

All her male crew seemingly have a crush on her but she treats them
with a amused disdain. Kurtz is somewhat of a different case but
he'd crawl through broken glass for her or Miss Mao so directing him
elsewhere isn't that difficult necessarily.

In other words…you may have a tough time here.

In-Laws: You'll have a brother in law to stand in the shadow of when
you come in, but it's a shadow you'll share with your lover. Tessa
has family but her REAL in laws to worry about is Mirthril. Unless
there is a pressing need for you to associate with Miss Testarossa
like being a whispered or otherwise needing protection then getting
close to her will be a tad difficult.

Your best bet is to enlist in Mirthril or you'll be assumed to be
KGB and probably shot by Sosuke.

Economics: Being a mercenary pays well, even if you are a do-gooder
like the Mirthril. Tessa probably receives a steady paycheck but
doesn't make use of it because of her circumstances being so
unique. She's likely to spend the rest of her life underwater if
they'll let her and unlikely to need much land based needs. If she
can be lured land side and made to go public, Bill Gates would have
nothing on her invention wise.

If you marry her, you also might get a submarine!

Sex: Difficult to say. Most likely Tessa is going to be a first
timer when it finally comes down to it but likely to take at it with
the same enthusiasm she's shown everything else. She seems very
affectionate and likely you'll find a very loving partner.

However, with Resonance there's going to be some risks that do need
to be addressed. It's entirely possible after one too many run ins
with evil necessitating telepathy that your wife or girlfriend will
develop Kaname attributes or Kaname will find out WAAAAAAAY too much
of your life together.

Suffice to say should she get with Sosuke and develop any feelings
from your bond, your remaining life will be measured in minutes.

Overall: The perfect choice for guys who like blonde loving
brainiacs with risk and work needed to work.

[Charles Phipps]

Chidori Kaname

Looks: Chidori Kaname is the typical example of a woman of the
Gonzo series. Perky, sweet, pretty, slightly tomboyish, and uhhh
blessed with good assets. Her long blue hair is a definite
attractive feature. She's a lot more `normal' in appearance than
some anime heroines and her freckles are a distinct matter of taste.
Good fashion sense though.

Smarts: Chidori is an overachiever in her school and quite the
brainiac. She's not an especial genius though. She DOES have an IQ
in the area of a few billion though whenever she's using her
whispered powers and if she masters them, she might be able to build
anything imaginable in anime.

Personality: A go-getter and happy go lucky person. She's very real
in her reactions to things like people being killed though and that
causes her to tend to be less than thrilled when its routinely
happening around her. She loves cute animals and is quite girlish
in likes but is otherwise a normal Japanese teenager, moreso than
most anime girls.

Home Economics: Chidori lives on her own and has developed at least
some skill in this area. Should she get into a relationship, she's
likely to only get even better. Expect homemade lunches as a way of
showing she likes you.

Fighting: Aside from a skillet…oh geez….just run away Chidori and
let the boys (or Miss Mao) handle it. PLEASE. Manga Chidori is also a master of the paper fan.

Special Abilities: Whispered.

Competition: Sosuke Sagara. Given his fondness for her and her
developing feelings for her protector. The best thing to do is
either drop the situation, become co-protector (and somehow do a
better job), break through his skull and convince him he likes Tessa,
or simply figure out some way to kill him. There's really no other
way around it.

In laws: Apparently dead parents and her brother. It should be
noted that, should you become involved with Chidori, you are likely to
have Sosuke try to kill you a few times as he has previous
boyfriends. Mirthril will also follow you like the NSA watches
leftists.

Privacy will cease to exist….this isn't even bringing in the
problems of the KGB (either they apparently still exist or
Mirthil is filled with lunatics…or both)

Economics: Apparently self sustaining but a student at present.
You'd have to be the breadwinner or independently wealthy. It's
possible she doesn't intend to pursue a career outside of the home
if she marries.

Sex: Open to new things probably but very likely needing to learn.

Overall: A wonderful girl for the man with a death wish.

[Andrei Burnside]

Tessa isn't Italian. She's eastern european.

Personality

2nd...Chidori Kaname may not be the sweetest thing to walk this earth, but compared to Tessa she's got the huge edge.

Tessa is a social misfit. She doesn't know how to act or integrate. She's got the same social skills that Sousuke does and it's clear from her blunt approach to attract Sgt. Sagara. She's been around older people all of her life, and doesn't know how to act among her age peers. She is relatively timid, and is most definitely not sweet. Tessa runs more on the calculating and catty side. It's clear from how treats Sousuke in the Manga, Novels, and Anime. She could have easily requested training from McAllen.

Kaname Chidori has much more emotional intelligence than Teletha Testarossa. Unlike Teletha...Kaname has had to integrate, and adapt, and has managed to do admirably.

Kaname isn't happy go lucky. She's firey, independent, short-tempered, and competive. Kind of person that has laid back friends, or friends that engage in friendly competition. She also has an extremely diverse
interest base...as indicated in Episode 1 by her reading selection.

Fighting.

I disagree on both counts. Kaname Chidori has proven to be masterful in delivering basic kicks and punches to whomever bothers her. She seemed marginally skilled in basic brawling. She also can throw objects with quite some accuracy and range (bases). And she uses a softball bat pretty well too.

Tessa is no military superb tactician. We see NO evidence of her planning any indepth operations. She coordinates missile strikes and manuvers her sub. With the way she does it, she seems like a very good skipper but Kalinin is the stratageical genius here. She's a Klutz, couldn't even hit gauron in his vitals from less than 2 meters.

In-laws: Kaname has a sister, and Tessa's brother is the brains behind (SPOILER) Amalgram or however it's spelled the biggest threat to mithril
Commander Mardukas...Who is VERY protective.

Competition

Sousuke may have gotten jealous and overreacted to Shirai, but he did no such thing with Kaname's sempai. He's professional and a specialist, not some two bit punk. Kaname really wants someone unique. Tessa thinks Sousuke is weird, but she doesn't think of it as a positive factor. Either Kaname finds it cute, or she finds it irritating. You've gotta be unique, and you've got to become friends first. To some...no privacy would be worth for someone like Kaname. WTF? As for political beliefs man, don't make bad jokes. (even if people agree).

But yeah. No chance to get with Kaname unless she and Sousuke "break up".

Tessa, you've really got no chance with. Surrounded by executive officers, on a sub, and having the responsiblities of the captain. (Interesting side note. US Navy calls captains of the ship captains no matter what their rank.) Tessa could be an ensign, but Kalinin affirms she isn't. So really no chance.

I see thinly disguised bias. I've tried to be truthful. Tessa seems much more agreeable than Kaname, which is probably why Sousuke gets along with Kaname better. It's his opposite. Opposites attract.

[Kelek]

Original idea...

Chidori's mother is dead. Her father and sister are in New York or
somewhere; I forgot.

Profiles are really biased, though.

[Charles Phipps]

If you disagree that's good and I welcome discussion. You are right about the in laws bit though and fighting.

I do see Kaname as happy go lucky whenever she is NOT surrounded by exploding bombs and people trying to kill her. Very self satisfied girl and I like that personally.

As for Tessa's tactics skills. OH COME ON. The episode where she plans her ambush of Mao shows her brilliants and her defeat of Gauron with Kaname in the final episode is masterfully played.

I also apologize for the National Security Agency joke. I'm quite fond of the number crunching super group actually. At least to the fact they're on our side.

I also wasn't saying Kaname was better, merely that trying to get date her was akin to suicide. Something that for some, like Sosuke (and probably many on this board-myself included), is worth the risk.

These are supposed to tongue in cheek you know. FUNNY and all that ;-p

Chidori Revised

Fighting: Chidori is certainly a better fighter than Tessa. She kicks, punches, paperfans, and could give Naru a few lessons in right hooks. No formalized military training though, so she often seems a tad out of her league.

She could be a good AS pilot from her brief experience with them though.

In laws: Kaname's father who seems to be some sort of diplomat and her sister. Neither seem to be gigantic factors in her life. Her mother seems to have died and her memory haunts her though.

You'll also have to deal with MIRTHIL, THE KGB, and possibly the Japanese/US governments should you attempt to date her. If you break her heart then you may end up chased by terrorists who intend to use you as a villain of the week too.

[Kelek]

As for Tessa's tactics skills. OH COME ON. The episode where she plans her ambush of Mao shows her brilliants

No, Kurz and Sousuke rigged it so she'd win because they
knew she didn't have a chance against Mao. Her original
plan either wasn't put into motion, or it failed.

These are supposed to tongue in cheek you know. FUNNY and all that ;-p

And I "couldn't recognize a joke if it danced in front of me
naked," or at least most jokes.

[Reaper DXR-7]

Actually Kaname and Sousuke defeated Gauron, Tessa just used Kaname to regain control of the ship, Tessa had no control of Kaname during the actual fight with Gauron.

[Charles Phipps]

I don’t recall her plan failing or Kurz/Sosuke interfering. They simply watched on as Tessa’s trap got Mao.

It was Tessa’s trap that also Kaname followed and thus defeated Gauron. Sosuke simply defeated Gauron in a fight.

Melissa Mao

Looks: Rowr, a Chinese-American with short hair and a very well toned body. Further proof that you muscles can be sexy. A definite ‘man’s girl’ she looks great in military fatigues and a nurse’s uniform (the later may not be wise to ask her about but you never know).

Smarts: Melissa isn’t a Whispered but the idea that people in the military are stupid is a stereotype that has little basis in reality let alone fantasy. A marine with a good tactical sense, the ability to disarm bombs, the knowledge to pilot an AS, and probably plenty of other field smarts. She’s definitely a brain as well as a quick thinker.

While she may not be educated in Japanese epics, Melissa is no dummy and a definite quick thinker.

Personality: Melissa is a take no guff woman who enjoys poking fun at her friends, getting lit up, and a good workout followed by hot tubing. She’s got a lot more gentility than meets the eye though. She is empathtic to other’s feelings and the emotional problems they face and wants to see everyone form lasting happiness. She takes her work seriously too for the good it does, not because she’s a danger junkie or war machine.

It should be noted that Melissa has some definite self esteem issues and doesn’t think as highly of herself as a person in her position might. She covers this up with her sense of humor though.

Cooking: No demonstration of her abilities thereof. Somehow I doubt she’s particularly adept at it but she may surprise you. There’s more to meets the eye with the tough talking marine.

She does love crab though.

Fighting Skills: An AS pilot, trained marine (TOUGH people), and elite soldier of Mirthril (STR division). Melissa may lack the fact that she was raised to be solely a killing machine like Sosuke, may not be QUITE the shot Kurz is, and isn’t a Whispered but she is probably the second best all round soldier in Mirthil.

Attacking her in shell or out is likely an extremely BAD idea. She’d probably be able to go toe to toe with Gauron were it not for the Lambda driver.

Special Abilities: The ability to end up looking sexy without even trying…or trying not to.

Competition: Surprisingly little. Kurz treats her somewhat like a hot older stepsister just like he treats his captain the same except younger. This isn’t Tenchi so Sosuke has no interest or vice versa. Only in fan comics are the commanders showing in any interest. Melissa Mao is mostly just involved with her career.

The biggest obstacle seems to be Mao herself as she doesn’t seem too keen on being looked at as a lady by her fellow Mirthil personnel. Neither flirting or accepting the advances of those around her. She received a dishonorable discharge for circumstances unknown as well.

In-Laws: New York Chinese-American parents, status unknown. Mirthril will probably run extensive background checks on you and her friends interested in seeing her happy but compared to some anime, remarkably normal reactions.

Economics: Mirthil pays well, one of its few benefits compared to danger ratio. Melissa isn’t going to be receiving a pension for her marine work though.

Sex: Let’ see…athletic girl…self esteem issues…forceful personality. Doing the math, well….you’ll be horizontal for a while and often.

Overall: A remarkably good catch that won’t require taking out Sagara to get.

[Kelek]

I don’t recall her plan failing or Kurz/Sosuke interfering. They simply watched on as Tessa’s trap got Mao.

At the end of the battle, Mao says that she would have won
if the others hadn't cheated. Remember Sousuke telling
Tessa "I guarantee you will win"? They rigged it so she
couldn't lose. Also, they wanted to spare Tessa the
humility of running around the base naked. Tessa and
Sousuke were also looking at some plan or map thing with
tactics that she drew, and she did, in fact, fail. Better
rewatch the episode. It's slightly confusing but you'll see.
It's also apparent Mao would win if the others hadn't
cheated. Tessa had no AS skills whatsoever before Sousuke
tried to teach her.

she looks great in military fatigues and a nurse’s uniform (the later may not be wise to ask her about but you never know).

I think I read somewhere that she worked as a high school
nurse before and that guys would pretend to be ill just to
try to flirt with her. She got sick of it. (Source unknown.)

It should be noted that Melissa has some definite self esteem issues and doesn’t think as highly of herself as a person in her position might. She covers this up with her sense of humor though.

Examples of her sense of humor...? I don't recall anything...

Competition: Surprisingly little. Kurz treats her somewhat like a hot older stepsister just like he treats his captain the same except younger.

Spoilers in white; highlight to read:
He shows that he likes her in the novels. He hugs her
from behind and she wants to stay that way but she
clocks him because the mission comes first. So he's
the competition, then. Plus...she likes him too,
though she's yet to admit that.

In-Laws: New York Chinese-American parents, status unknown. Mirthril will probably run extensive background checks on you and her friends interested in seeing her happy but compared to some anime, remarkably normal reactions.

Me: Unless she gets with Kurz. Others: The blasphemy!
Spoilers:
Her father was in the Air Force but she's pretty
much cut all ties with him. She dislikes him. He
tried to marry her off to someone from Harvard
after she graduated from high school so on the
wedding day, she walked to the Marines recruitment
office in her wedding dress and signed up.
So you can put it as no in-laws or something.

Pretty accurate. That's all the comments I have so far.

[Charles Phipps]

Oh come on!

I took that as Mao just whining and watching it again, I still believe that. Sosuke was just giving her encouragement!

yes, Tessa really screwed up but Mao lost fair and square (well not if it had been a real battle since she lost because paint doesn't go through trees)

[Reaper DXR-7]

I think I remember Mao saying how she wasn't going to bitch about how every one was on Tessa's side, trying to make sure Tessa would win, and how no one put in to consideration that their actionss counted as cheating.

[Chief Petty Officer Klerk]

no Kyouko in the list comrade?

[Kelek]

No, Mao didn't lose "fair and square."

Some abilities of her M9 had been rigged and disabled by Sousuke and Kurz. For
instance, her ECS system didn't respond when she tried to use
it, and she fell off the cliff right where Tessa could shoot her point-blank,
which wasn't her fault. Being a very qualified AS operator, she wouldn't
make blatant mistakes like those.

You can also tell that the guys expected her to lose because they seemed
really calm and weren't surprised when she did. They would have been extremely
surprised if Mao lost of her own accord, as Tessa only learned
how to operate that AS that day, is not physically fit, and can't even shoot
anyone properly from two meters away. (Gaulun.) Mao is much more
skilled than Tessa. She was also using an M9 while Tessa chose to use an
M6 because it was easier to use. Apparently, the M9 is better than the M6,
so combining this and the other advantages Mao had over her friend, she
would obviously win (disregarding the LD issue, though Mao would
probably win even if Tessa used the LD too, since Tessa's much less
experienced).

At the end of the battle, Mao was indeed whining--whining because she didn't appreciate how her comrades had cheated to help Tessa win, and
half-heartedly because she didn't really mind too much that Tessa won,
since she felt bad about the whole thing afterwards.

I don't know how one can say Tessa could have won fairly. It's not possible.

EDIT: Wow, my line breaks are horrid. Ah, well.

[Charles Phipps]

That's totally out of character for Sagara and Kurz. I cannot imagine them actually SABOTAGING her AS and such an important plot point would have been directly addressed. They are Mao's friends too and while they were rooting for Tessa I think that kind of action is completely beyond their methods

Mao lost because she underestimated Tessa's sneakiness and didn't really WANT to clobber her.

Also, I want others to do their anime prospects. I didn't even intend to do all these but I'll hopefully be inspired as I may if no one else wants to join in.

[Kelek]

That's totally out of character for Sagara and Kurz. I cannot imagine them actually SABOTAGING her AS and such an important plot point would have been directly addressed. They are Mao's friends too and while they were rooting for Tessa I think that kind of action is completely beyond their methods

Better let Mao run around the base naked than let Tessa cry, be humiliated, and looked down upon by her inferiors. Even Tessa knows
she would have lost in the end. Her immediate subordinates said it
was a lesson for her and she should appreciate those "lowlier" soldiers
who have to do that stuff. Tessa would have lost, and she realized she
was bad at it and should give credit to those who fight under her. We
also don't know if Kurz and Sousuke would help her cheat because
there've been no other examples. This was the first.

Mao lost because she underestimated Tessa's sneakiness and didn't really WANT to clobber her.

This was part of it. She was hesitant to hurt her friend that way.