Disclaimer: Well :sigh: I still don’t own it. So Full Metal Panic still belongs to Shouji Gatou, ADV films and Gonzo Digimation. Yup, you guessed it
There will be quoting and imagery from the series. I take no credit whatsoever. If I’m making money on this, I have yet to see it 
I make no profit from posting this. None.
~ To rush in there I'd be a fool. Full Metal Panic Episode 6~
Simply Whisper
Chapter 4: Tell Me What I Fear
By Miz~Lou
Several minutes passed in the silent room and the voice had disappeared again. It seemed to have a way of coming and going whenever it wished to. Time seemed to have stopped as Chidori drew in shaky breaths between clenched teeth while slowly tilting her head toward the morning rays of light filtering through dusty blinds and scattering across the barren floor.
“It was a nightmare.” She gently rocked herself back and forth supporting her head in her hands. “Only a nightmare.”
Another nightmare. Tears stung the corners of her eyes and she hastily swiped them away before they could fall. She glanced at her watch. She had to pull herself together. Sousuke would be at her barracks at 8 to get her that morning, which left her with only about an hour to recompose and make herself presentable.
She moved stiffly from the bed and drew her feet back up swiftly after feeling the cool floor come in contact with her fevered skin. The sharp contrast moved like a wave through her whole body, causing her to shudder. Chidori raised the back of her hand to feel her forehead while she tried to downplay the occurrence with another practiced excuse. Perhaps she was coming down with a cold this time. Maybe it would all pass after a couple of minutes… besides she had never been much of a morning person anyway.
A few minutes passed before she attempted to continue on with her day; she swung her legs over the side of the bed, her feet came into contact with the cement floor. The crude texture caught her attention as she stood balancing off the wall and caused Chidori to wonder. Who can life like this? She looked around at the frivolous conditions. The room enclosed by bland walls, white with no pictures, no curtains on the windows and crude furniture that did nothing more than frugally serve its purpose casting a shadow on the floor. This is how Sousuke lives? Her curiosity wandered as she took in the details. Even the blankets held taut and scratched at her skin.
Pushing them aside she found her way to the single-person bathroom. She twisted the hot water on and felt it melt her back to life as she evened out her body temperature. The sheets of water massaged her body, washing away the tightness still possessing her. The dull scent of the soap hung in the room mingling with the steam as she exited the shower. The fragrance reminded her of Sousuke… her thoughts lingered, remembering his scent on the trail from the beach as she fell in his arms. She could almost feel the comfort from his phantom arms around her in her daydream and her lips began to remind her of how she had almost longed for his kiss.
Longed? Cerulean hair swayed as she shook her head. “Really Chidori.” She spoke to her flushed reflection in the mirror. “You’re being such a school girl.”
Interrupted by rapping on the door, she glanced at the her watch discarded on the sink and saw that it was not yet 8 but she had spent much more time in the bathroom than she had intended to. A widespread blush painted her features. The very one she was thinking about, the very one who was responsible for making her this late, was on the other side of her door.
And he was early.
The thought jolted her out of her daydreaming. “Um,” items toppled in the bathroom, “just a minute.”
Don’t sound so flustered, she scolded. As she moved quickly, her hair would still be wet. It’s not like Sousuke hasn’t seen you in wet hair… or in a towel before.
She didn’t know if it was the sudden adrenaline rush or the fact that she hadn’t had a full night’s rest, but any time previous that thought would have upset her, frightened her and caused her to react out of anger. But she didn’t feel upset this time…
While pondering the thought Chidori twisted her long hair in a towel and dressed promptly; continually catching things she knocked over with her elbows in the diminutive bathroom. She shook her hair within the towel and ran a brush through it as she rushed to the door. Inhaling a deep breath she pulled it open shyly and was surprised when she was met with deep purple eyes instead of light gray ones.
“Good morning Kaname.” Melissa greeted while Chidori pulled open the door. After a slight delay, Chidori moved to the side to let her in. Melissa carried a noticeable limp as she entered the quarters and took a seat in one of the chairs while the brittle wood stressed and moaned rebelling.
“Good morning.” Chidori returned, embarrassed by her hair, still wet and clinging to her arms. “I-I was expecting Sousuke at 8.” She ventured to say. “Is everything alright?”
Melissa smiled. “Everything is fine. Sousuke won’t be able to meet you as planned, I came in his stead.” Chidori turned to her dresser and kneeled by her suitcase listening. “He had a meeting to attend this morning.”
“For his new mission?” Chidori haphazardly continued Melissa’s sentence as she dug through her belongings.
A raised eyebrow. “How is it you knew he had a new mission?” The tone was not accusatory, only curious.
Chidori immediately felt alarmed. She didn’t want to get Sousuke in trouble. It’s too late for that; I shouldn’t have said anything. Chidori continually looked away from the Sargeant Major retrieved her personals bag from her luggage and moved toward the bathroom to finish drying her hair.
“Sousuke told me.” She tried to make her tone casual as she slipped from Melissa’s view. Pull yourself together.
Once she was hidden from Chidori’s view Melissa didn’t try to stop the smile that crept on her face. Sousuke knew it was against regulations to tell a civilian about a new mission. She knew him like he was her own brother and, unlike Kurz, Sousuke was hardly one to breach standard protocol.
Melissa nearly chuckled aloud. It seemed Miss Chidori was special in more ways than one.
.o.o.o.o.
A shadow passed through the Mithril emblem cast on the white screen pulled down covering the entire west wall when a soldier passed by to take his seat in the front row. The projector whirred in the hot room filled with the low mumbling of soldiers. A butterfly shadow puppet suddenly appeared on the screen.
“Sousuke,” Kurz’s buoyant tone filled the room as he flexed his hands, making the winged creature fly. “Guess what it is.”
Sousuke turned his attention from his now cold cup of coffee toward his fair-haired comrade, never glancing at the screen. “Mao is late this morning.”
Kurz fell back in his seat at the statement. “Come on Sousuke. Have a little fun, man.”
“This is serious.” Sousuke leveled his eyes on the screen. “We have a mission.”
Kurz paused in his gaze, his features owned by concern. “Sousuke,” he lazily hung his elbow off the back of his chair and kicked his feet up on the table. “You’ve always been serious, but ever since your last mission you’ve become even more serious.” Kurz folded his hands behind his head. “If that’s possible.”
Sousuke stared into the dark liquid silent.
Kurz dropped his flamboyant attitude and squinted his eyes studying Sousuke’s face unaware of Kalinin entering the room. The grey-haired Commander’s gaze fell over the rows of chairs as he set his stack of manila folders down.
“Good morning.” He always tried to ensure an upbeat tone; high moral was essential for any successful mission. Taking up his pointer and clicking the slides on the screen, no time was wasted as the briefing commenced.
“We’ve located the final Whispered.” There were a couple of inaudible gasps from those members who had not yet heard the news and the color shifted slightly on Sousuke’s face.
“Mithril has composed a consolidated lists of Whispers. The final individual on the list, we’ve recently found, is in the most immediate danger. There have been no attempts of kidnapping the target that we know of yet. However, the location and background on the individual is very limited and not yet complete or confirmed. Information on the subject is being collected daily and as quickly as possible. The only thing we known right now is that this Whispered has been targeted. Who the kidnappers are, their motives and when they might make their move is unknown.”
“Lotta help that is.” Kurz's attitude began to match Sousuke's.
Various slides flashed on the screen as Sousuke watched intensely with empty eyes, the expression on his face stoic. Kurz cast a furrowed glance over at his ally before returning his eyes to the screen.
Kalinin continued in a monotone voice as he neared the end of his speech. “All members of Mithril are to be on high alert and ready to be called at any time for this assignment.” Kalinin looked around the room. “It is not standard Mithril practice to be on call, but under the circumstances of the most recent mission, we now have a better understanding of the abilities of the Whispered - they can be very dangerous in the wrong hands.” The grip on Sousuke’s cup tightened. “We will have to be ready at any moment.”
The screen behind Kalinin went black and eyes blinked as the lights came back on in the conference room. “Any questions will be taken at this time.”
When the questions had passed uniforms filtered out of the room.
“Sir,” Sousuke glanced around after saluting.
“Sergeant?”
“What…” there was slight hesitation in his voice. “What about Chidori sir? I am her bodyguard, and to be sent on a mission while she is here at a foreign base-”
“Sergeant,” the Commander interrupted, “I am sure that Major Mao’s missing presence today has not gone unnoticed by you.”
At Sousuke’s nod Kalinin continued. “Due to her injuries she is on mandatory sick leave and will not be permitted involvement during this mission. She is with Kaname right now and will act as her bodyguard should something happen.”
Sousuke wanted to protest. To have someone injured protecting a Whispered did not sound like a good idea. He felt a hand on his shoulder before he got a word out and raised his eyes from the ground. “Chidori is safe; there is another Whispered that needs our help right now. We need you and the Arbalest on the battlefield Sergeant.”
The mercenary shifted his eyes away. He couldn’t help but feel he had complicated this mission already - Melissa sustained injuries while protecting him and now… now what if something where to happen to Chidori because of that?
“Sergeant.” Kalinin dropped his paternal tone. “That’s an order.”
.o.o.o.o.
A tuft of silver hair twisted nervously between slim fingers.
Denied. Tapping. Denied. Beeping. Denied.
Tessa slammed her hand on the keyboard in frustration.
“These entry codes.” She murmured agitated.
Mardukas stood to her left solid in formation. The narrow eyes behind the glasses looked down at the small red screen attached to her chair.
“Perhaps you should take a break Madam Captain.”
Tessa looked up to Mardukas. “The lock on this system is extensive. I have to find a way around it before we can obtain anymore information on the new Whispered.”
Her fingers moved at a lightening pace trying again.
“But you’ve been working on this for hours Madam.”
Wide eyes full of anxiety immediately returned to him. “And every hour I can’t break this there is someone in increasing danger.”
Mardukas didn’t hesitate. He took her hand from the keyboard. “I will take it over from here.”
She moved aside astonished, watching Mardukas sit in her chair.
“You’re of no use if you’re tired; these hours are enough to tell you that.”
“I’ve never been of use on land.” The anger boiled in Tessa, her voice reaching an almost shrill pitch. She turned sharply and exited the office.
.o.o.o.o.o.
Chidori tried to listen politely as Melissa spoke. The raven-haired soldier picked at her plate of food while Chidori sat with a hand propped under her elbow at a table much too big for just the two of them. Uniforms moved through the mess hall buzzing to life with the low drone of voices. No matter how hard she tried though, the morning hour, her lack of sleep and the topic of discussion at her table just wasn’t enough to keep her from staring off in another direction.
Melissa looked up from her plate. “You’re not eating, Chidori.”
“Hm?” Melissa watched as she broke from her daydreaming. “Oh… I’m sorry, I was just…”
Melissa chuckled after a moment’s pause. “The food isn’t the best. You give it a little bit of time and you get used to it.”
Chidori wrinkled her nose at the traces of what was considered food in front of her. “It is pretty nasty, isn’t it?”
“A soldier’s rations. Just wait until you try MREs.” Melissa winked.
“You mean there is food worse than this?” Chidori joked back, a light smile on her features even though she didn’t quite understand what Melissa was talking about. Both laughed before returning to their plates.
“You’ve been rather distracted this morning Kaname.”
Chidori looked up from her plate quickly. “Well… I do feel horribly out of place here.”
“That’s understandable.” Melissa comforted. “I remember how I felt the first time I joined as a member of Mithril and came to this base. It was all so foreign to me, I didn’t know anybody.” She looked around the room at her fellow comrades. After her discharge from the Marines Mithril had been a rough sort of blessing to Melissa. “A discharge is not something that other soldiers take kindly to, no matter what the circumstances.”
“Yes,” Chidori nodded with a bit of relief at a glimpse of understanding. “But I am not a member of Mithril.”
“You’ve been in worse situations than this. I don’t think that is the only thing distracting you.”
Chidori involuntarily felt vulnerable. Was Melissa referring to Sousuke again? A lot of her thoughts had been on Sousuke lately and that unnerved her slightly. And things were starting to get even more confusing since the voice had decided to show up again.
If she was completely honest with herself, her thoughts had been on Sousuke nearly consistently since they had met, whether they were positive or negative. He had truly turned her life upside-down. She had spent so much time denying her feelings for him that no matter how many times she tried to convince herself otherwise, she was beginning to come to a realization of just how much he occupied her thoughts. Her thoughts, her visions… even her nightmares. And her tired eyes hadn’t escaped Melissa’s observation. “You look tired.”
Chidori was hearing that a lot lately.
“I-I had a nightmare last night.” The words surprised even herself, as it was not something she had intended to share.
And it was an answer that Melissa hadn’t expected. The Major answered her cell phone, taking the conversation in private, before they both cleared off their trays and took a walk through a local scenic area next to some tennis courts. After a moment of silence between the two Melissa inquired further, “What was it about?”
Chidori described the dream. The veteran soldier walked cautiously along the path with a conscious effort not to over-nurse her injury. She was quite interested in the nature of Chidori’s nightmare and listened intently.
“I mean,” Chidori finished, “I kind of understand it… Sousuke had just told me that he had a new mission…” She was sure to leave the voice out of it. All she needed was Melissa thinking she was crazy or schizophrenic. She couldn’t possibly understand.
Mao chuckled lightly. “And I’m sure that Sousuke let you know about his new mission gracefully.”
Chidori blushed. “I thought he was joking.” Or, perhaps I hoped he was joking.
Mao smiled understanding. “And what was your first reaction?”
Fear. Chidori felt her posture stiffen.
“If you are strong you will speak.”
The hissing tone dripped with venom at her forced silence. “You are afraid,” it scoffed.
The voice had known… What is it that I fear?
Melissa questioned further, “Do you remember when I was brought in on a stretcher?”
Chidori nodded clearly remembering how frightened she was when Mao was wheeled on the de Danaan after the battle with Gauron. She was even more frightened by how Sousuke had come in afterward, slumped posture and dull eyes. He obviously cared about Mao and what had happened to her. He cared about all his fellow comrades… but he had lost something.
Mao circled around in front of Chidori. “I’m going to ask you something you have to answer for me truthfully.” They were the only two on the path, the morning dew still remained on the trees and the sunlight at that morning hour promised a hot day. “How would you feel if it were Sousuke on that stretcher instead of me?”
Purple eyes stared intently into hers, as if they had understood and could see through her. Chidori’s emotions began to tumble again. An eternity seemed to pass as she filed through them.
She had finally admitted it to herself. She did like him, but promised that things would be easier if she didn’t tell him. Sousuke was so different from anyone she had ever met. She didn’t know anything about him. Yet… here she was… living the same life as him… beginning to understand what it might be like to live in his world. Her reasons for not telling him her feelings were no longer starting to hold true.
She then turned her thoughts to the injured Mao still in front of her. The way Sousuke had returned from the fight, broken and angry... She sighed, he might as well had been the one on that stretcher.
“Well,” Chidori chose her words carefully, “then he’d be here continuing to guard me.”
.o.o.o.o.o.
Tessa slammed the door to her quarters and tugged at the elastic holding her braid, tears running freely down her face. She made her way to the mirror before falling over her heels.
“So Mardukas finally got you to leave, huh?”
Tessa lifted her head to find Kurz leaning in the corner, arms crossed. There was no smile on his face, or joking to his tone of voice at all. He walked over to help the frail form up. Tessa straightened her uniform embarrassed and smoothed her freed hair to her head.
“Things are getting way too serious around here.” Kurz handed her a towel. “Change into your bathing suit, I’ll meet you outside.”
And with that the door clicked shut.
.o.o.o.o.o.
Sousuke reloaded his gun before raising to the target with a steady arm. He evened out his breathing, concentrated on the bird calls before releasing a deep sigh as he pulled the trigger. The bullet flew and hit outside the outermost ring of the target.
Frustrated he reloaded the gun hastily. Determined to get it right he pulled the gun up, arm not quite perpendicular to his body and pulled the trigger. This time the bullet completely missed the hay target.
His stoic face gave nothing away as he automatically went through the motions. Reloading he cocked the gun, a shaky thumb on the hammer and squeezed the trigger when he felt a tapping on his shoulder. The gun went off simultaneously, hitting the bullseye.
“Excuse me, sir.” A red-headed boy yelled.
Sousuke removed the earplug headband, returned the salute and took the paper from his hand.
Safety glasses fell to the ground as Sousuke ran past the boy.
