PET RULES

[Taurec]

PET RULES

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'niture.

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never a ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college,

and...

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

[HELLFIRE]

Typical twisted (Taurec) humor... I LOVED IT!!!!





Regards

[Katyusha]

Tau is our 2nd God.

[naiomi]

I second that notion^^

[PookaKitten]

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

That one had me in stitches. The whole thing is printed out and ready to go on my cube wall.

[Bishop E-10]

Nicely put.

[Dark-oneechan]

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

On that note, I would like to point out that: Children are like proprietry hardware, you can't just upgrade them when you realise yours suck, when you compare them to everyone elses.

[HELLFIRE]

*ROTF *

N1 Dark-Oneechan!!





Regards

[Bishop E-10]

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

Amen... lolx

[KashimArbalestAS]

Nice.

[KanaChan]

XD I love it!


3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.



Ain't that just the truth?

[Miz~Chidori]

Luffled it

Do you own pets Tau?

[Taurec]

I had a vicious g-pig sadly it kicked the bucket... (it was really good with garlic)
Now I have a paranoid goldfish with suicidal tendencies.

[Dark-oneechan]

Had a budgie that swore..... Used to open the door to Mormons and Jehova's Witnesses and the little bugger would tell them to "F*&^ off".

[Bishop E-10]

Tat... is disturbing...