Having said that... you've been warned. 
[story mode]
A man walks through the streets of a small town at night. He is tanned, with messy hair and an otherwise average appearance save for the cross-shaped scar on his left cheek. There is nothing about him to arouse anyone's suspicion, except for his military bearing and regular shifty glances to survey the surroundings...
A woman's voice calls out from behind him.
"Hitokiri!"
He whirls around to confront the speaker, only to find a girl walking up and pointing a harisen at him. Her most striking feature is her blue waist-length hair, but - as many men have noted - her beauty is remarkable. For now, though, that lovely face is contorted into an angry grimace, her eyes locked on the man in a glare.
"At last I've found you. Your deeds of terror end tonight!"
He looks back at her, obviously discomfited.
"Wha... What are you talking about?"
"Don't play innocent with me. Who else would walk around with these?"
She yanks the young man's jacket open and starts to rummage around in it, tossing out a veritable armoury of weapons - a pair of pistols, a shotgun, a sniper rifle, a dozen assorted grenades, a bazooka and associated rockets, a combat knife, a pair of submachine guns, the occasional weapon of mass destruction...
By the time she is done, the pile has risen up to the man's waist. But even in the face of such damning evidence, he tries to explain it away: "A soldier must always be prepared for any contingencies."
"Right, right," she replies sarcastically, unconvinced. "Then how do you explain the numerous people who have been physically threatened in the streets for the past two months, by a moron who just happens to share the same appearance as you?"
"They were suspicious characters. I had to ensure your safety..." The man swallows hard as she ups the intensity of her death glare.
"If you want my opinion, the most suspicious character around the place is you! And how do you explain the explosions in the locker rooms every day?"
"They might have been booby-trapped..."
He never gets to finish as she brings the fan crashing down on his head. The girl then grips him by the collar and drags him off, muttering, "Booby-trapped, my ass. You're coming with me, mister..."
Starring:
[Sagara Sousuke]
A horde of swordsmen rush Sousuke even as he blocks their way, the only person standing between them and their quarry - the young woman. But even as they attack, they are cut down with shocking speed even as he holds his ground, not even seeming to move. One of them cries just before he falls, "Is this sorcery?"
No, the girl thinks. It's not sorcery...
The smoke clears, and Sousuke's finger finally eases off the trigger of his gun.
...it's cheap.
[Chidori Kaname]
"Chidori..."
"Don't 'Chidori' me!" she cries. "What am I going to do if you go to Kyoto?"
"I must." His reply is one of military stiffness. "That man must be stopped. And if I stay, you will be in danger..."
"To heck with that! How am I going to explain all this?"
Behind her, Tokyo burns.
"...It wasn't me."
(A director's voice is heard in the background, "What happened to the wind and the leaves? Isn't this backdrop reserved for the later chapters?")
("Sorry, boss.")
[Gauron]
Sousuke's face is grim. "His name is Gauron - the Hitokiri's successor."
"Successor?"
"Yes." They hear Kalinin's voice now. "Gauron's skill with the AS and quick wits put him on par with you, but his cunning and lust for power made him dangerous. He had to be eliminated."
"So... he's dead?"
Sousuke looks to his mentor, who merely nods - the signal that he is allowed to speak.
"No," he says. "I sniped him in the forehead, but the metal plate in his skull saved his life. Then I tried blowing up his AS several times, and he survived - even at the cost of his limbs. Then I shot him again, repeatedly... and now I hear that he is still alive. He is not human."
And what kind of monster are you, Sousuke...?
Never coming to a fanfiction site near you...
Rurouni Sousuke - Tokyo Otaku Romantan
"I am not an Otaku... I am a Specialist!"
[/story mode]
