Qantas gripe sheet joke!

Chief Petty Officer Klerk · Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:34 am

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let
it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots and the solutions
recorded by maintenance engineers.

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

KiLlEr · Post by **KiLlEr** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:24 pm

Eisenmann · Post by **Eisenmann** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:40 pm

I'm scared of flying with quatas now

HELLFIRE · Post by **HELLFIRE** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:47 pm

Want more CPOK!! LOVED IT!!

Regards

terran empire · Post by **terran empire** » Mon Oct 29, 2007 7:54 pm

read it and they still took my hammer...

KiLlEr · Post by **KiLlEr** » Mon Oct 29, 2007 7:55 pm

Chief Petty Officer Klerk wrote:P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Ummm. What kinda passenger jet is that, and where can I get one?

terran empire · Post by **terran empire** » Mon Oct 29, 2007 7:57 pm

the joke was originaly Chair farce reports

Anonz · Post by **Anonz** » Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:32 pm

oh god, where did you find these?

FullMetal*Panic!

Qantas gripe sheet joke!

Qantas gripe sheet joke!

Re: Qantas gripe sheet joke!